Making Love Today

Sometimes you need to leave home to find something that was close to you all along. Drea and Nate grew up in the same small town, and even were in the same grade in high school, but did not truly "find" each other until they went off to college. They overcame attending rival colleges and Drea's commitment phobia to eventually get married after a few bumps along the way. 

After marriage, while their commitmen...

Anne and Patrick discuss how Earl and Meagan demonstrate the relationship skill of Translating Understanding and support.  All of us have collected useful tools over the years that we have been promised will help our relationship.  However, if we want to take these tools and turn them into relationship power tools we need to be able to understand enough about our partner's experiences, preferences, and personality in order to ...

In this bonus episode, we hear from Elaine and Abe, a real-life couple in a "commuter marriage" (one lives in Texas, the other California) who also co-host the relationship podcast, Love is in the Air. Elaine and Abe share some great insights into what it means to be in a long-distance relationship, as well as answer some relationship questions of their own.  

Be sure to check out their podcast, Love is in the Ai...

When Earl transferred law schools he wasn't necessarily expecting to find his future wife, but it didn't take long after meeting for Earl and Meagan to go from classmates to soulmates. Despite their immediate connection, the two of them came from very different worlds... well, at least from very distant states. With Meagan returning to California after graduation, and Earl taking a job in his hometown of Chicago, the two ...

Anne and Patrick discuss how Mike and Vauna demonstrate the relationship skill of Courage throughout their 38+ years of marriage. While many of us consider relationship courage only to really apply at the beginning of our relationship, it's actually a skill that needs to be applied all throughout the course of our relationship. It's important to show courage in the decisions we make, in allowing ourselves to open up to ou...

A chance meeting at a movie theater while at college has turned into going on four decades of marriage. Now married for 38 years, Mike and Vauna will readily admit that things were not always easy for the two of them. 

With Mike an extrovert, and Vauna an introvert the two of them have had to learn from the very beginning how to blend and mix their different communication styles. They've had to overcome such challenge...

Anne and Patrick discuss how Brian and Farina use the relationship skill of Choosing Family to build their own family culture.  All of us come from a different culture than our partner. While some relationship differences are more obvious than others, even small ones can lead to relationship conflict. It's important for us to recognize the culture that our partner came from and learn to use pieces from both family cultures to ...

While Brian and Farina both grew up within 20 miles of each other in Maryland, in many ways they came from very different worlds.  Brian, the grandson of a congressman, comes from a traditional suburban background. Farina, a Native American and member of the Navajo Nation grew up witnessing extreme poverty.  

Despite coming from such diverse backgrounds, the two of them have learned to appreciate and embrace each other&apo...

Anne and Patrick discuss how Andres and Phillip use the relationship skill of deepening to increase their intimacy. Increased relationship intimacy is not something that just "happens," but is developed through a process that we need to conscientiously decide to move through. As we move through the (often messy) steps of conflict, vulnerability, and repair, we can gain a deeper appreciation and understanding of our partne...

As an interracial gay couple living in an extremely conservative state, Andres and Phillip don't exactly fit the stereotypical mold of most of the married couples that they see around them. But instead of spending too much time just trying to blend in, these two are learning to embrace what makes their relationship uniquely special and being comfortable with who they are. It's not always easy living in a world where the t...

All relationships require sacrifice. Blending two lives requires give and take by both people to decide where to live, what Netflix shows to watch together, etc. When children are added to the equation, those sacrifices multiply seemingly exponentially. So when Meagan and Nick, to well established young professionals, decided to get married and then have kids, something (or someone) had to give! Well, in truth, they both had to giv...

Anne and Patrick discuss how Melissa and Robert use the relationship skill of asking great questions in order to strengthen their relationship! Despite coming from extremely different backgrounds, Melissa and Robert's openness and honest curiosity have helped them to make their relationship thrive! For a more in-depth explanation of this skill and more suggestions on how to incorporate it into your relationship check out makin...

Melissa and Robert in many ways come from extreme opposite backgrounds. Melissa is white, Robert is Black. Melissa comes from an upper-middle-class upbringing in the suburbs, Robert comes from a poor upbringing in the city. Melissa's family members are Republican, Robert's family members are Democrats. When they first met, Melissa was an accountant with multiple college degrees, Robert was a high school graduate. Despite ...

In this final episode of Love in the Time of Corona, Patrick and Anne discuss the relationship challenges that we're likely to face as things start to open up again post-lockdown. When will things return to normal? Will they ever return to normal? What sort of strain will this uncertain have on us and our relationships? They talk about this and more! 

While it's certainly exciting for the world to be starting to ...

"Say thank you!" It's a phrase all parents tell their children countless times. It's been ingrained in all of us that saying thank you is a necessary part of being a good person. However, if our outward displays of gratitude never extend beyond repeating two culturally ingrained words, is it actually doing us any good? Does it matter if I'm actually grateful when I say I am, or is it fine if I'm just g...

Introducing, The Man's Space: a new recurring bonus series specifically geared toward what it means to be a man in a modern relationship. 

Society in general, and pop culture in particular, does not look kindly on the relationship skills of most men. For every positive husband and father figure depicted on TV for in movies, there are at least a dozen Homer Simpsons and Fred Flintstones. Is that how most men really are...

Society has perpetuated this romantic notion that our partner needs to be our everything and our sole source of support and happiness. In practice, we all need a broad support network of friends and family to truly get the mental and emotional help that all of us need. With social distancing and stay-in-place orders widespread, many of us are finding our typical robust support networks reduced down to a single person: our partner. ...

Has the emotional distress of living through a pandemic turned you and those around you into emotional porcupines? Do you find yourself unintentionally lashing out at your partner in ways that you don't normally do and vice versa? Has everyone in your household put up their emotional defenses while working through the stresses of social distancing? 

If so, you just might be a porcupine! 

It's natural and...