What happens when church trauma shatters your faith, but motherhood calls you to rebuild something authentic for your children? Today's raw conversation with my high school friend Elizabeth Hurt dives into exactly this tension.
Elizabeth, now a mom of three spirited girls (Holland, Lennon, and Iverson), opened her heart about the devastating spiritual trauma her family experienced. The aftermath had her and her husband questioning everything they thought she knew about faith. But rather than abandoning belief altogether, she found herself becoming what she calls a "spiritual newborn" – stripping away the performance of religion to rediscover what genuine faith actually looks like.
"I just want my life to be the proof of Your love," Elizabeth shares, explaining how she's moved away from the checklist Christianity of her past toward simply loving like Jesus. This transformation hasn't been quick or easy, especially while raising three young daughters who need their own foundation.
What resonated most powerfully was Elizabeth's approach to protecting her children while nurturing their spirituality. Having experienced "church hurt" firsthand, she's intentional about empowering her daughters with agency over their bodies and teaching them their voice matters. "That is your body," she tells them firmly, ensuring they know they can always speak up if something feels wrong.
The conversation takes a beautiful turn when we discuss how motherhood itself becomes a path back to authentic faith. Elizabeth shares how seeing her cousin live out genuine Christianity without judgment became more healing than any sermon could be.
Between motherhood chaos, rebuilding faith, and finding herself through creativity with her business Wooden Okie, Elizabeth reminds us that healing isn't linear but it is possible. Sometimes, the very things that broke us – in her case, religion twisted by human failure – can be reclaimed in healthier, more authentic ways.
Whether you've experienced church hurt, are questioning your faith while raising children, or simply need to know you're not alone in the messy journey of motherhood, this conversation offers both validation and hope. Join us for this heart-to-heart that proves sometimes our deepest connections come through our most vulnerable struggles.
Follow Wooden Okie by Elizabeth ⬇️
https://www.instagram.com/woodenokie?igsh=MXM4a3cybTN3YWl6
🎥When Christians let you down- Craig Groeschel
https://youtu.be/mzpzMCLfuv4?si=H3amcu7zEdG8t5IJ
🎥Why Do We Need the Church- Matt Thomason
https://youtu.be/Agydv4QYdPs?si=htfokS3A-i5iR_rX
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Mama of the Wild Crew
📸: A heartfelt thank you to Jordan Allen of Cr00ked Teeth Photography for capturing this stunning cover photo.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Alexis Schmoker (00:06):
Welcome to Mama of the Wild Crew podcast, the
podcast where we embrace themessy, wild, beautiful journey
of motherhood together.
I'm your host, alexa Schmoker,mama of two beautiful kiddos,
wife, nurse and lover of Jesus.
Motherhood is full of hardmoments, unexpected chaos and
(00:27):
those days where you just reallydon't have it all together.
But in the midst of it all,there is so much joy.
On this podcast, we're divinginto the real, honest
conversations about motherhoodthe challenges, the triumphs and
everything in between.
We'll hear the stories ofincredible moms from all walks
(00:47):
of life, share wisdom, laughterand let's be real probably a few
tears, and we're going todiscover how to embrace the joy
in this chaos.
So, whether you're rocking ababy to sleep, folding that
never-ending pile of laundry orsneaking away for a quiet moment
with your coffee, welcome mama.
You're not alone here.
(01:07):
Hit, subscribe and join me onthis wild adventure of
motherhood.
I can't wait to do this journeywith you.
Hey, wild crew mamas, andwelcome back.
Today's episode is extra specialbecause I get to sit down with
someone who has been a part ofmy life since high school and
(01:28):
now, all these years later,we're walking through motherhood
together, kind of likereconnected.
Elizabeth Hurt is not only amama of three fierce and fun
little girlies Holland, lennonand Iverson, but she's also a
creative soul, a faith fighterand the heart behind wooden oaky
.
Whether it's crafting thatbirthday magic or navigating the
(01:48):
raw and beautiful mess ofmotherhood, she brings honesty,
humor and a whole lot of heart.
Her story is one of rebuildingfaith, finding joy in the small
things and raising daughters whoare not both just, or who are
both princesses and wildadventurers.
And I just know you're going toconnect with her, like I do.
We're already cracking up overhere who are both princesses and
(02:10):
wild adventurers, and I justknow you're going to connect
with her, like I do.
We're already cracking up overhere, so let's welcome my sweet
friend Elizabeth to Mama of theWild Crew podcast.
Hi, thanks for having me Ofcourse, tell us a little bit
about yourself and about yourhusband and your girls.
Elizabeth Hert (02:21):
Okay, yes, I'm Elizabeth, my husband is
Channing and then, like you said, I have three girls holland,
lennon and iverson.
They're four, so everyone'sabout to shift in age too.
So it's about to be five, threeand four months.
So I know that's a goodeveryone's all close together
yeah, you know cozy and uh, yeah, been married for 2013, so
(02:47):
almost 12 years this year.
That's crazy.
Alexis Schmoker (02:49):
I remember going to your wedding yeah, you
were like kind of one of myfirst friends to get married.
Do you feel like that?
Elizabeth Hert (02:56):
20 we look back and we're like that was too
young, but it was great it wasgreat it worked out, but we
couldn't even like havechampagne at our wedding.
We had chocolate milk.
Alexis Schmoker (03:04):
It was chocolate milk, we were babies.
Yes, yes, I remember that, butit was so pretty, it was like a
barn-esque theme.
Elizabeth Hert (03:10):
I look back and it was so Pinterest-y, which I
still love, yeah, because I'mlike maybe not what I would do
nowadays, but you know likewedding style.
Alexis Schmoker (03:22):
But I look back at your wedding and you're not
like oh my God, yeah, yeah, itwas pretty, so cute.
And I was telling you too thatI remember like a time whenever
we were in Nottingham.
Elizabeth Hert (03:34):
Like someone was driving around.
Do you remember this?
Alexis Schmoker (03:37):
I don't remember we ran into Chan and
you guys were like in thetalking yeah.
Elizabeth Hert (03:42):
Yeah, we were like in the talking.
Yeah, yeah, we were always liketexting back and forth and he
would like.
He's just like a serial flirterlike he even stills like my
grandma and my grandma he'salways like hitting on them and
flirting on them like he's just,like he's so funny and he's a
charmer and so yeah, we wouldalways just like text on and off
and it would just like never,we'd never hang out yeah, and
then he just it was.
(04:03):
So it was like after wegraduated yeah, like finally, he
just invited me one night Idon't know if I told you this
story.
I was like working atAndalini's at the time and I had
homework to do from startingcollege and he texted me and was
like come to the church, thisthing at the church at OFA.
And so I was like, maybe, likeI have homework, and he was like
(04:24):
, just come up there.
So I like came when I got offwork or something, so it was
like nine o'clock at night andthey had had like a concert and
it was already over and so then,I was like talking to him and
like Jason Boggs and everyonewas there
then they were like all right,now, come to Waffle House with
us.
And I was like I'm gonna comeon Waffle House, I just want to
go home.
And he was like I'm going tocome to Waffle House, I just
want to go home.
And he was like, get in the car.
And so I got in the car, likewe went to Waffle House ate and
(04:48):
then like he drove me back and Ilike got his hoodie I know it
was serious.
It was serious and he likedropped me off my car and he
just like kissed me and thendrove straight to my brother's
house.
Because they knew him, becausemy brother's wife, michelle,
worked with him at JCPenney'sand so she was like, oh, she
would always be like Channing'sasking about you and like who
(05:08):
you're dating and stuff.
I'm like whatever, he's alwaysjust flirting you know leaving
me, and so I drove straightthere and I was like Channing
her just kissed me and they werelike what that?
Alexis Schmoker (05:24):
Oh, I never knew that story.
I also love that you worked atAndalini's and you worked at
JCPenney's, because I feel likeeveryone in Owasso.
I did not work at Andalini'sbecause I was, you know, a Baja
Jacks girl.
But all of my friends worked atAndalini's.
Elizabeth Hert (05:38):
Like everyone that I know.
Yeah, literally.
There's even girls under me,like at Target, that are young
and I'm like they're like we.
I've worked at Anne Delaney'sbefore.
I'm like, listen here.
It's like a sorority.
Alexis Schmoker (05:57):
Yeah, I used to be, you're like I'm at the
sorority of Anne Delaney's, I'mpaying away for you at Anne
Delaney's.
You are and I was, like theyprobably don't.
And that's such a shame forthem.
Elizabeth Hert (06:08):
I should put a picture up in the back.
I should have a picture Like Imade this playlist this playlist
that is still playing.
Alexis Schmoker (06:15):
I made that, did you really?
Elizabeth Hert (06:16):
That's great I limewired that baby.
Yes, yes, you're welcome, yeah,you're welcome.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Ever was our last anniversarygift.
I actually got him a black andwhite framed picture of a waffle
house like it's just a coolpicture of like waffle house and
I gave it to him and he madehim tear up a little bit.
Alexis Schmoker (06:35):
Yes, I got him.
Well, and do you listen to thejonas brothers?
Elizabeth Hert (06:38):
yeah, we play that.
The girls love it too, so Ilove, okay, jordan, and I love
jonas brothers.
Alexis Schmoker (06:43):
Oh man, they really came back they were good
back then and then they cameback and I was like well, I
wasn't a jonas brothers man likeback in the day and, to be
honest, I kind of it was likeselfish.
I feel like I was like too coolor something I was like.
Elizabeth Hert (06:56):
I mean, they were kind of like we were it was
on the table yeah, growing up.
Alexis Schmoker (07:01):
Um, but man, I love jonas brothers.
We went to their concert lasttime they came to tulsa and I
was like that is the bestconcert I've ever been to in my
entire life.
Elizabeth Hert (07:09):
Oh gosh, so good , like it was just like fun, and
oh my gosh, and they're just sotalented and I was sitting
there like I felt.
Alexis Schmoker (07:16):
I felt convicted by the jonas brothers.
You started putting your handsup like amen, yes, so good.
Hey there, wild crew mamas, somesuper exciting news.
If you're like me, these daysany day is a hat day.
Literally probably every day isa hat day, and we have two new
hats for mama of the wild crewpodcast.
(07:37):
I am so excited, and huge shoutout to my sister-in-law, brie,
over at smoky designs, fortaking these ideas and bringing
them to life.
We have Mama of the Wild Crewpodcast hat and we also have the
cutest hat.
It says motherhood is myministry.
And ain't that the truth, guys,head on over to our Instagram
at mamaofthewildcrew underscorepodcast, dm me or comment on one
(07:59):
of the posts and let us knowthat you want your hat today.
Growing up, our parents had asuper special tradition.
We kept this big stork in ourgarage and whenever someone,
either in town or one of ourfriends, had a baby, we would
all load up and go over to theirhouse and put this stork in
their yard to help themcelebrate.
(08:20):
It was one of my favoritechildhood memories and my sister
, addison Sewell, has carried onthat tradition.
She is the proud owner ofOwasso Storks, offering
personalized stork deliveries tofamilies celebrating the
arrival of a new baby, whetherit's a baby announcement, a baby
shower or to celebrate thebirth of a little one, owasso
(08:40):
Storks is the perfect thoughtful, sentimental gift.
There are even options tocelebrate proud big siblings and
even those furry little familymembers.
For a sweet, memorable gift,reach out to Owasso Storks.
Check them out on Instagram.
That's at Owasso Storks, atO-W-A-S-S-O-S-T-O-R-K-S, and you
(09:02):
can find their contact info inthe show notes.
Guys, this is just the sweetestgift.
I have personally been blessedby a stork from Owasso Storks
before.
Owasso Storks was a thing andit was just the sweetest thing.
So definitely reach out toOwasso Storks, okay, so we're
(09:23):
going to get into the podcastquestion.
Um, so you know, literally wewere texting last night because
you and miranda are going tothat movie theater in bixby that
has like the playground to seelilo and stitch.
So we took the kids lastweekend to it and that play we'd
never been there and you canlike get up on, like know how
(09:44):
they have different levels in aplayground.
Elizabeth Hert (09:46):
Yeah, yeah, yeah .
Alexis Schmoker (09:46):
So Crew like climbed up on the level and
there's like a spinny wheel, soshe grabbed onto it and like
flipped upside down like she wasbeing a monkey or whatever, and
I saw her and I was like, ohhey, crewsy, like look at you
Cute.
Well, anyway, let go to wave atme.
Boom, it was like five feet.
Elizabeth Hert (10:05):
So far that was our first, big like boo, boo,
like that.
Alexis Schmoker (10:09):
Yeah.
So of course, jordan's likelooking at her like frozen
trying to assess the situationand I like go in the playground
with it's not easy to get inthere.
Elizabeth Hert (10:18):
It's not easy to get in there.
Alexis Schmoker (10:19):
No, and of course there's so many kids
because it's like the grandpremiere of lulo and stitch yes
um, and she's losing it andthere's just blood everywhere
and that makes it worse.
Elizabeth Hert (10:29):
Like yeah because it's so vascular, you
know.
Alexis Schmoker (10:32):
So like it was her mouth, her nose, everything.
So we finally got settled um,but that was my mom, phil uh,
surrounding what you guys aredoing today.
So have fun, yeah, be safe itwas.
Elizabeth Hert (10:43):
It was a nice morning yeah, be safe anyway.
What's your ball?
Fail, oh man I kind of have two, okay, okay, one for each kid
yes, yeah okay.
So for holland, one time we wereat fantastic island playing on
the you know splash pad, doingthe whole thing.
She runs up to me and she'slike look, and she has candy in
her mouth and I was like hey,where'd you get that?
And we were there with ourfriends.
I was like did michael give youthat?
And she was like yeah.
(11:04):
And I was like okay, cool, goon, she's eating it.
Then later I went up to ourfriends and I was like hey, did
you give holland candy?
He's like no, I'm like wentback up to her.
I'm like where did you get that?
And she's like on the groundand it was like like jolly
rancher, ish.
So I'm like there's notsomething that was like stuck to
that and yeah, so yeah.
Alexis Schmoker (11:24):
Just blue mouth .
Elizabeth Hert (11:25):
Yeah, I knew when, I saw it because I was
like why do you just have randomcandy?
You know, yeah, and it was arandom candy, yeah.
Alexis Schmoker (11:32):
It was a random candy.
Yeah, it was fun.
Elizabeth Hert (11:34):
Immunity you know, yeah, you just build it up
that immunity.
Yes, oh.
And then Lennon she, when wewere in Target, you always let
your kids stand in the basket,you know it was like easier.
At the time, Holland alwayswanted the seat they would fight
, so Lennon would just stand up.
It should be like one and ahalf maybe, and I was trying.
So don't get that Target Circleapp because it distracted me it
(11:55):
distracted you.
Alexis Schmoker (11:55):
I was looking up deals on my phone to try to
scan Before I was telling youI'd like.
Still, I don't know what it is,I haven't downloaded it, but
anyway it's saving.
Elizabeth Hert (12:04):
Here you go, this is your saving.
Oh my gosh.
So I'm looking for the deal.
I'm like that and all of asudden I hear a guy behind me go
like like that and it's becauseshe's climbing over the edge
and she falls to the tile floor.
Yeah, bawling my eyes outbecause she had to hit her head,
and thankfully, like a personchecking out and a lady who
(12:25):
worked there, came up to me andthey were like we're nurses like
, I just want to let you know,like let me check her out, she's
fine, and I was like, yeah,made me feel better.
Alexis Schmoker (12:33):
They came up to me, yes, oh, and then you're
like feeling guilty, oh man soguilty so now I'm like don't you
dare stand up in a basket youknow, yeah, they want to ride on
the edge all the time I'm likeptsd yeah, well, crew fell
forward out of the wagon onetime I think I remember you
saying that story, yeah yeah, soyeah, we actually just
(12:53):
yesterday we were at the parkand she was like standing on the
front of the stroller and wewere like sit down because one
time, one time you fell out ofthe wagon.
Yeah, okay, so you and I'veknown each other since high
school and back when we werewrapping ankles and fetching ice
and making gatorade ice too,watching svu on our breaks and
(13:15):
doing photo shoots.
Because everyone, everyone, Ithink listening to this is at
the age where you did a photoshoot.
You did and you know you didwith your camera, at the park,
with your friends, you did.
Or at sleepovers.
Elizabeth Hert (13:28):
When we did it for the managers and like the
trainers, a desperate house.
I think back to that.
I'm like, why did they let usdo that?
That was so scandalous.
Why did they let us?
Alexis Schmoker (13:36):
do that.
Oh my gosh, we're going to haveto find that picture and share
it with you guys.
I don't know, that's not how Isaw myself.
It was so random for us tothink.
Or how I see myself in thefuture.
Yeah, okay guys.
So we were athletic trainersfor the sports teams and we
decided to do a photo shoot for,like our calendar stuff, I
(14:00):
guess.
Yeah For like the program orsomething right For the program,
as Desperate Housewives we allhad like apples in our hands.
Yeah, I didn't even watch thatshow.
Elizabeth Hert (14:11):
I mean, I wouldn't have had any reference.
It must have just been big.
It definitely was big at thetime, I don't know.
Alexis Schmoker (14:17):
But yeah, we did that at Jenna's kitchen, yes
, which is such a beautifulkitchen, but yeah, anyway.
So now here we are, walkingthrough motherhood, looking back
.
Did you ever imagine life wouldlook like this?
I did not.
Elizabeth Hert (14:34):
No, that's crazy , that's so crazy, even just
saying, like our story me andChanning me, like there's, that
wasn't even on my radar, youknow, until I like met him and
like got up with him, thinkingabout having like kids, kids and
yeah, that's crazy, oh man.
Alexis Schmoker (14:49):
And we both walked through just like crazy
high school boyfriends and stuff, and I think back on that and
I'm like, oh yeah, I think ifone thing I could like teach
crew I don't even know how toapproach this, but like just
dating intention, that's likeone regret.
I have Obviously everythingworked out for me, but just like
(15:09):
dating more intentionally orprotecting your heart better.
Elizabeth Hert (15:13):
I don't know Like me teaching them to be like
less of a people, pleaser.
Alexis Schmoker (15:19):
Like.
Elizabeth Hert (15:20):
I feel like they're going to be strong
enough to be like boy bye youknow kind of thing yeah.
Alexis Schmoker (15:25):
Like yeah, we were sneaking in the locker room
to check boyfriend's phoneswhile they were at practice.
Do you remember that?
I mean doing the thing, doingthe thing, and why did we put up
with that anyway, I don't know.
But okay, so when we firststarted talking about like you
coming on this podcast, Iremember you told me like you
felt a little inadequate, andI'm glad that you said that,
(15:47):
because I feel I feel that way,like quite often, even like
doing the podcast or posting onsocial media or anything, I feel
like, oh, who am I to like dothis?
I guess.
Um, but Channing was reallylike the one that you said
encouraged you to go on andshare, and you said to me like
that's the beauty of it, hemeets you where you're at, like
(16:07):
you don't have to meet hisexpectations and his love for
you.
So I love that.
And then also, I've beenwatching the chosen lately.
Okay, have you watched that?
You guys need to watch itbecause I feel like it puts it
in such like different light orperspective.
Like obviously you read theBible, you know the stories, but
something about like watchingJesus and the apostles and
(16:28):
everything, like you really see,like these are just some ragtag
guys, right, like Like visuallyseeing it.
Elizabeth Hert (16:34):
Yes.
Alexis Schmoker (16:34):
Visually seeing it and like connecting with the
characters and you're like waita second, Like they also were,
like I don't know what I'm doing, right, you know, like Just
human.
Yeah, they were just human youknow, and like they were flawed
and imperfect and really didn'tknow what they were doing.
But the whole thing was thatthey had faith, yes, they were
following, even though they feltinadequate.
(16:56):
And I mean, we all areinadequate, we are, we're
equipped through him, right.
So I like that.
We kind of talked about that,yeah, because I'm like that's
something I was struggling withtoo.
But what has it been like foryou letting go of the pressures
and just being who you are, inyour faith and through your
motherhood?
Elizabeth Hert (17:14):
I think that's like generally the only way like
I have that's a coming backdown to like roots and like even
walking through it.
Like I still have to tellmyself like it's just like about
loving Jesus, almost likethat's what I tell myself, like
that's it, you know, yeah, likeI'm there's gonna, I'm gonna do
things that are people don'tagree with or but like as long
(17:36):
as true to myself, like I justlove, like Jesus.
It's like the we've beenlistening to a lot of for king
and country and it's the proofof your love song like that's
what that's just been hittinghome for me, because I'm just
like, I just like want my lifeto be like the proof of your
love song, like that's whatthat's just been hitting home
for me, cause I'm just like, Ijust like want my life to be
like the proof of your love andI and that's not what it used to
be for me, like my faith usedto be like, how can I look the
(17:57):
part and how can I, yeah, howcan I play it and how can I be
perfect?
And oh, I'm, I'm inadequate if Ido an X, y, z, you know, kind
of thing, and it's not that atall and that, I think, was not.
You know, like I didn't get anylove through that.
I mean, I did, he loved me, butlike to myself, like I didn't
let it hit deep because I justwas like so worried about the
(18:18):
looks of it and how to play thepart and the emotions and you
know so just coming back andjust being like, just love, love
like Jesus and love Jesus, andthat is pretty much yeah.
Alexis Schmoker (18:33):
That's kind of how we are too, Because our
church, their motto I guess Idon't know how you would say it
Mission statement, whatever itmay be is love Jesus and love
like Jesus.
And it's so simple.
Yes, but it's something thatliterally like we have to, we
say multiple times a day, I sayto myself multiple times a day
Sometimes when literally, likewe have to, we say multiple
times a day.
I say to myself multiple times aday, sometimes when I'm not
feeling like it, you know.
But then also, like crewunderstands that too Like it's
(18:54):
something that like it's sosimple that I understand, jordan
can understand, we can getreally deep with it but also,
it's so simple to where, like,you can tell your kids that and
like, use it in daily languageand talk about it.
King for King Country, are theythe ones they have a movie,
don't they?
Elizabeth Hert (19:07):
Do they have a?
Alexis Schmoker (19:08):
live movie.
I feel like I heard them talkabout it one time on another
podcast.
Elizabeth Hert (19:12):
I need to see because, honestly, I haven't
listened to them for a while andwhen I went back to see they
had a bunch of soundtracks.
So I imagine that you'reprobably right and I feel like
maybe is it Rebecca.
Alexis Schmoker (19:24):
Is that who's in it?
This might be completely wronginformation, but I think someone
has um a book that they justput out with their husband too,
or something, and it's one ofthem or something.
Yeah we'll have to look it upand if this is wrong guys, don't
quote me, because it might be,but I think it might be right.
Elizabeth Hert (19:39):
So you're on.
Alexis Schmoker (19:40):
You're on the right page I might be on the
right page.
Yeah, yeah, so we'll have towatch it.
Elizabeth Hert (19:44):
Yeah, yeah I saw them at uh frontier city, I don
don't know.
Six years ago or something itwas like one of the best
concerts I've ever been toReally One of their main albums.
I don't know that was aroundthat time that has Fix my Eyes
on you, which is like one ofLennon's favorite songs, right
now Like we get in the car.
She says fix my eyes.
That's what we play.
Alexis Schmoker (20:04):
It's been fun listening to them again.
That is fun.
I think some of it too and thismight not be true for all like
young girls, because I see girlsthat do not like walk it out
the way that I did.
But I feel like just maturityto you know, whenever you're
younger like I was listening toa sermon earlier and it was
talking about just like howthere's different ways that
(20:25):
christians can I don't know notlike look like Christian, like
we think so one of them is justlike being a baby young
Christian, like you're just notmature yet, and so I think that
comes with time, um, and justfixing your heart on Jesus and
not saying that, even thoughwe're 31, 32, whatever, like we
still have maturing to do, youknow, and there's things that we
still mess up, and so I thinkit's just giving yourself grace
(20:48):
too, but repenting, because, man, you're always going to be
imperfect.
But that kind of leads us intolike a little bit more of a
heavy topic and I want to likego in with a disclosure that we
are not like pastors orpreachers or experts at all on
this topic, like this is just ustalking about some experiences
(21:08):
and like maybe thoughts orthings that we've learned or how
we hope to look, but we'regoing to kind of talk about
church hurt like quote unquote.
Church hurt, I guess, is kind ofthe phrase that people say
because it's so real and I knowmany listening have experienced
it in one way or another.
And, liz, your story involvesdeep spiritual trauma, like on a
very large scale.
(21:28):
Please share as much or aslittle with listeners that you
would like.
How did walking through thiswith Chan impact your marriage?
How has your motherhood playeda role in slowly rebuilding your
trust with God?
And now, as a mom of threegirlies, how are you finding
ways to protect them but alsoempower them with faith, even
though you're still healingyourself?
Elizabeth Hert (21:50):
It's hard, it's still like figuring it out, like
when you're saying likematurity, I'm like a newborn you
know like back into faith.
Um, I guess, just like startingfrom it like I grew up in
church, but it was like, likeyou said, just casual.
Like we went to a Baptistchurch when I grew up and we
(22:10):
would I think we would probablygo every Sunday, but like I was
sleeping in the pews, you know,and like.
I don't think I was.
I didn't go to Sunday schooland stuff like that.
I would go to like a BBS orsomething and then, like into
high school when we moved here,I would go to like youth groups,
like hang out.
I definitely got stuff out ofit, but it was still again just
casual, like my family wasn'tgoing on weekends.
(22:31):
No one's like encouraging me tohave like a personal
relationship.
I remember one of your episodesand she said that like she
never had, like no one wasteaching her to have personal I
knew what church was.
I knew what God Jesus,everything, but like no one
taught me how to be.
Alexis Schmoker (22:45):
Yeah a figure in a book.
Right, that's what she said.
Elizabeth Hert (22:47):
Yeah, not not like not like your deep personal
yes and so that I mean I wentto like a church camp and so
everything just surface levelish, you know.
Um, yeah, and then when me andChanning got together, he, his
family members, were involved inthe church like pastors and
assistant pastors, and so then Iwas like that again, where it's
(23:11):
like I need, okay, I need topeople pleaser.
I'm like how do I?
Because when we first gottogether, I remember his mom
being she doesn't care, I guess,if I say this because but she
being like they didn't want usto be together, because I'm like
not involved in the church withthem and stuff, even though he
was like rowdy, you know, youhad no idea but he was.
Alexis Schmoker (23:29):
He was like the church kid, like whenever I
think back, like that's how Iguess one of his identities not
his identity, but one way thathe was known was like being the.
He's a pk.
Elizabeth Hert (23:39):
Yeah, he's a pk yeah, and so the pks are wow,
yeah, but and so like I remembernot feeling like good enough to
be dating him.
So then I'm like how do Itransform into the person you
want me to be, which is like I'mgoing to dive in, and we don't
say any cuss words?
We don't watch movies with cusswords.
I'm down.
(24:00):
We're crossing off the boxesRight, and not really because I
think that spiritually it willhelp us, but because that's what
we're supposed to do.
Alexis Schmoker (24:10):
That's what we do.
Elizabeth Hert (24:11):
Yeah, that's what we do, which puts strains
on our marriage too, justbecause I'm like controlling it
and nagging if, like, thesethings are happening and like
not being a free spirit person,like it's like do these things,
you know, which is what he grewup with too, so he's like this
is not fun.
Alexis Schmoker (24:27):
You know yeah.
Elizabeth Hert (24:32):
But that's where we're deep into that.
I mean I did start to developlike more than just like a
surface level relationship tooby doing that, like it's easy,
like read the bible and likeokay, I'm getting something out
of it, but also still justwalking.
You know, talking the talk,walk and anyways.
Then we had some stuff come out.
It was like seven years agomaybe where um a family member
(24:55):
we found out and was sexuallyabusing a child in his family
and looking up to that person asa pastor.
Then I mean that just yeah,rocked his world and our world
on many different levels rightyou know levels of man hurt, and
(25:16):
so I just um, I don't know howmuch longer after that when it
came out, but obviously that's astruggle and he already didn't.
Wasn't like because he hadgrown up in it and it was
controlling like, wasn't like hewas super deep into church or
like his relationship oranything either he was already
starting to pull away.
(25:36):
So then when that happened, Iremember we sat down and we like
went to lunch at Qdoba and onCherry Street and we like sat
down.
He was like I think I'm, Ithink I want to be atheist and
like it shocked me on a worldthat was like how does that look
for us?
You know, not like wow, how he,how he must be hurting, like
(25:58):
obviously I felt that for him,but it was like what are the
people going to think of us, youknow, and like that's my first
thought, which, when I thinkback to now, like that, breaks
my heart.
You know, that's, that's what Ithought.
And so, and so I mean, we walkedaway from that conversation
like good and like you knowwe're going to get through this,
(26:18):
you know, but that's, we justpulled all the way back and like
there's, for a while it waslike even had like resentment.
You know, like people like, oh,we go to church and I'm like
you know like good luck, see howthat goes yeah do you know what
happens?
you know so, even kind of someresentment and stuff.
And then I think just over time, like obviously I feel like
(26:40):
god's working in the backgroundtoo, just like softening it,
softening it.
And then we had gone to likechurch on the move a couple time
for for like Easter or you knowsome holidays, like just easing
back into it and like himcoming to me and being like do
you want to go, do this?
I think I know for him to likeI'm not speaking for his faith
or what.
This is his own journey butlike him being like willing to.
Alexis Schmoker (27:02):
Yeah, let's go and let's see what it is.
Elizabeth Hert (27:05):
Yeah, feeling that pool again.
So it is, yeah, filling thatpool again.
So I mean, yeah, just beingreal, like we're still newborns
in it, like getting back in it,and just I stripped it down to
like I don't, I'm not gonnajudge you, I don't care, like
I'm gonna love you becausethat's what jesus says, like
just gonna love you.
Like I had one of my nephews,like when we I was like deep
into like the, the churchy, Idon't know part of it was came
(27:29):
out as gay, you know me judginghim hard and versus loving him
through it, and like I look backand like apologize to him and
stuff, you know, because I'mlike that's not who I am, like I
, I love you, I don't care ifyou come to me, like I don't
have to promote that you know,and I don even care, but just
(27:50):
like judging you through it andnot loving you through it.
Right, you know, and I I don'twant to be that person.
Like I want to.
Like Jesus would have been like, hey, I love you, yeah, yeah, I
love you.
Alexis Schmoker (28:01):
Well, absolutely, and again back to
the chosen.
Elizabeth Hert (28:03):
Yes, you promoting the chosen.
Alexis Schmoker (28:05):
But, um, that has put such a different light
in me too, just just seeing,like I know obviously the actor
that plays Jesus is not Jesusbut seeing just Jesus's like
interactions and compassions andlike him in human form, like he
is being human in the way thathe does, like interact and love
(28:27):
people, you're right Like he isnot here to judge we are not, we
are not the judgers Like we arejust simply here to love, like
Jesus, and Jesus loved everyoneand even the people like you
read the stories and everythingagain, you know, like these are
the sinners, these are.
You know, jesus hangs withsinners or whatnot.
And then in this you're trulyable to see like, oh, these are
(28:49):
kind of people that relate topeople I know or things I have
done, or it's just like easy toconnect that right, um, so, yeah
, I mean because it's it can beso hard to not puff yourself up,
I guess, whenever you get onyour high horse.
Elizabeth Hert (29:06):
Yeah, you feel so holy and it's like come to
church with me, cause like I'mdoing the right thing.
You should be more like me.
Alexis Schmoker (29:14):
Yeah, and it's not like you don't want to be
like me, like you want to belike Jesus, like we're just all
striving to be that way.
Um, I've kind of like had twosermons fall in my lap as I knew
that we were preparing like totalk about this, so I will link
them below.
But, um, two sermons that Ikind of like listened to and
watch, that I found helpful,just like kind of thinking
(29:34):
through this topic and situationand everything was um, on
YouTube Craig Gershell, hissermon on Christians let you
down, okay.
And then Matt Thomas, in thatfirst church, just this past
Sunday um did a sermon.
It's like a series of why, likeit's taking all of these
questions like hard questionsagainst Christianity and kind of
(29:56):
going through it and it's why,why we need the church.
So those are also good.
I'll link them below.
But in the sermon with CraigRochelle he makes a quote of
brennan manning and he says thesingle greatest cause of atheism
in the world today ischristians who acknowledge jesus
with their lips, then walk outthe door and deny him by their
(30:17):
lifestyle.
Um, that is like what theunbelieving, what does it say?
That is what an unbelievingworld simply finds unbelievable.
So it's like that atheism isdue to.
I think is what it's saying likeseeing a christian seeing a
quote-unquote christian yeah,not acting like jesus and then
(30:39):
he really dives into talkingabout um, like the church didn't
let me down, god didn't let medown like a person that's what I
have to tell myself a lot oftimes, like when I was going
through, like the resentment andstuff is like that's just a
human, you know, it's just.
Elizabeth Hert (30:55):
Yeah, it's hard, so hard Because it was just
like in multiple facets of yourlife.
We held to such a high you know,like and then that didn't, I
guess, answer the part of likeprotecting the girls and stuff
too, like that is a paranoia forus is like oh yeah, going to
church and putting them in aclass so that it's just like
telling them, like this is yourbody, like no one touches your
(31:18):
body besides me and dada and wedon't even want to do that.
Like you're a big girl, you goto the potty.
Now we don't need to do that,you know.
Like that is your body, youknow, and so just like
empowering them to like alwaysspeak and tell people no, you
can walk out of the class and gofind another adult.
You can always tell us you knowand like, not that it's only
(31:39):
going to happen there, but justlike yeah, that's where it's
connected for you, and yeah.
Yeah, so just teaching them howto use their voice?
I don't think I was taught whenI was little how to use my
voice.
It was like like I thought Isaw some recently.
It was like the good girlsyndrome, where it's like so you
build up over time.
Or it's like go give them a hugLike you don't want to go give.
Just go give them a hug Likethey're fine.
(32:00):
Go give them a hug.
You don't want to but thenyou're like your parents telling
you you have to, yeah, and solike, okay, she doesn't want to
hug right now, or like, yeah,she doesn't want to say I love
you like my dad.
Alexis Schmoker (32:11):
Yeah, I just want to say he's a pawpaw you
know, and he's like I love you,and if they don't say that I'm
like they love you.
It's fine yeah, you know, theylove you they love you.
Yeah, yeah, high fives you knowyeah waves so hard, especially
because they're little right now.
I mean, so you're just like inthat like mom fight or flight
mode and I kind of talked aboutthis before too, whenever Amy
Bray came on, who was an earlychildhood director.
(32:33):
But like I am that crazy momthat even my we've been touring
schools lately, like for nextyear, oh yeah, so I I go and ask
for a tour.
Like I know we have open house,like I don't great, I will also
be at that.
But like I'm also like oh, I'vegone to multiple schools now,
like sitting down with thedirector, like I want to see, I
want to go to each classroom,like like I went during school
(32:56):
while they were doinginstruction, and like playing,
which is kind of crazy, yeah,but I'm a little crazy and so I
think it's okay to like also dothat.
If you need, yeah, to know that,and obviously too, you also
such a hard balance, becausethen you're, you know you're
like I need to trust God.
These are his children, I'mhere to steward them and it's, I
think for me it's hard to likefind that balance between, like
(33:18):
God, I trust you, these are yourchildren, you will do what's
good in their life.
But also you chose me tosteward them and protect them,
right, so, like what, I don't.
I have a hard time with thatbalance sometimes and I'm still
working on that?
Um.
So I don't know, like, what areyou kind of said, like talking
about honesty and things withthem?
Do you think like anything willchange as they get older, how
(33:43):
you kind of talk about that?
Or like, do you guys do school?
How do you like approach schooland slumber parties?
Elizabeth Hert (33:53):
school and slumber parties, and I mean, our
day was different.
Yeah, I think we're gonna be,you know, maybe at this outside
the door, maybe more parents aredoing that right now too.
But like slumber parties for usis a no, and I I think I saw
somewhere recently on Instagramwhere another mom had said that
like that's a boundary, becauseit's just like you can go and
hang out late, you know, andthen you can come back and stuff
, but it's just like that's suchlike a I think it was even
saying like, even if nothinghappens to your child, but like
(34:14):
late at nights or when otherpeople, like adults maybe you're
watching pornography or moviesthat too old for your child,
like stuff, that like they canalso just see yeah, another
person's house that you, it'strue seems like a bad word, but
like, yeah, you're trying toprotect them and keep them
innocent.
Maybe the other people don'thave the same view as us for
their boundaries and I don'tknow that's for us that would be
(34:38):
something that's a no for us.
And then I think one time wewere in, we lived in Oklahoma
City for like a little stint oftime and we were going to Life
Church there and we had gonealmost like one one and a half,
we in a life church there, andwe had gone almost like one one
and a half.
We had dropped her off at likeclass.
We were like, let's just try it, you know.
Mainly honestly, at that pointI think we were just like we
need a babysitter we don't havefamily, so like we're gonna go
(34:59):
sit in the lobby and drinkcoffee
you know, and everything wasfine.
She loved it and then, like wewent again next time, we were
sitting there and Jenny was likewe go check on her like he just
had, like this, he had like afeeling and he hadn't had that
before he went in there was amale teacher in there that
wasn't in there when we droppedher off, he was fine.
Yeah, nothing happened, but Ijust thought it was awesome that
(35:21):
like he had that intuition, theholy spirit like gave him.
Alexis Schmoker (35:24):
Yeah, it was like go check on your baby you
know kind of thing, and I waslike oh yeah, there's a male
that gives me the chills, yeah,yeah because it's just like him
showing up again too, like, hey,I know your trauma and like
your fear so even if nothing'shappening like, you're not gonna
be comfortable with this whenyou when you pick up, when you
go to pick her up, yeah, so Ithink it's okay that you tour
and do all that, because I'mlike you do you want to know the
(35:46):
surroundings and yeah yourjudgment on character.
Elizabeth Hert (35:49):
I mean even females and stuff like that it's
not just males, but like youare a good judgment character of
like people so it's like gonnameet you and just kind of fill
out.
You know it's the vibe here sowell, I feel like.
Alexis Schmoker (36:01):
That's like, discernment of people's
character is not one of mystrong suits.
Um so jordan, I feel like, ismore so my youngest sister avery
, like can sniff it out fromacross, like across the field,
like she'll like look at someoneshe's like and maybe sometimes
(36:23):
in a judgmental way, maybe it'snot, you know but like her
dessert, like she's just adiscerning person, yeah, whereas
I'm like, oh no, she seemedreally nice, like um, they were
great, that's me at work.
Elizabeth Hert (36:34):
I work.
I don't know if we said that onhere too, but I work at target
part time and like I think therewas a lady one time that was
like coming in and she was likealways chat with me.
She was so nice protectionthere and they'll kind of like
give us a heads up if this islike returning people who have
like theft, or like they canjust already tell in the store
that they're like you know doingstuff, so they'll like hey,
(36:55):
watch this person.
Oh interesting yeah, because Iwork in style so always be like
at the fitting room they're like, count what they have, tell
them to bring it back out likethey have people that they watch
, just so you know.
Alexis Schmoker (37:06):
Yeah, they watch you all right people.
Just so you know.
They watch still and they watch.
I stole sunglasses from Targetone time on accident.
Elizabeth Hert (37:13):
Well then, they must know that it was an
accident.
Alexis Schmoker (37:15):
They must yeah.
Elizabeth Hert (37:16):
Or maybe your face is like on a wall somewhere
and they're like watching you.
Alexis Schmoker (37:19):
Yeah, if she ever comes back in, no it was
when Prue was an infant and Istill think about it.
Elizabeth Hert (37:24):
That's fine but I was like this lady's so nice.
And then one time they werelike hey, watch her over there,
because she like she comes inlike every Sunday or something,
like gets away with stuff.
And I was like wait, what isthat?
That's my bff.
Like dang, she fooled me, yeahme either wow, that's a good
example.
Alexis Schmoker (37:44):
Yeah, yeah, man , it's so hard it is.
It is so hard, um some is.
It is so hard Some things Iobviously chat GPT'd to ask ask
chat GPT, what we should do.
Okay, so some teaching of ourkids.
Discernment, yes, is important.
So chat GPT told us to askquestions instead of blindly
(38:05):
following.
Okay, I thought that was good.
Yes, compare what they hear towhat they know about God's
character, so his love, hisgrace, his justice, his mercy.
So if someone's telling youbecause that's another thing
that I worry about too SometimesI think like, obviously my
husband's a public schoolteacher, we love public school,
our kids will probably go topublic school.
(38:28):
But then that brings on to, likewho's pouring into them?
Yeah, I don't know.
You know, she just left aChristian preschool and it like
was bomb.
It was so good, you know, and,like her two teachers there,
miss Christina and Miss Caitlin,just walked with Jesus and it
was so apparent and just thethings that she would come home
(38:50):
saying and talking about, likewas so beautiful.
It literally can make me cryright now.
Um, but that's something that Iworry about too is just like I
want them to know, like whoJesus is, what he stands for,
what he says and what he does.
And then, like, if someone'stelling you something that
you're like, ah, like, does itcome, does it align with what
God says?
(39:10):
And that can be true with us,with adults too Um, trusting the
Holy Spirit's prompting insideof you, just like you said with
Chan, um, a small voice thatsays, like this doesn't feel
right or this doesn't sound likelove or this does sound like
love, you know, like um, so justkind of like listening to the
Holy Spirit.
Another side note I waslistening to a podcast not too
(39:31):
long ago.
I think it was For the Girl.
Do you listen to For the Girlpodcast?
Okay, you need to.
It's these two girls.
They're moms now, but they'reboth named Mackenzie, and it's
Mack and Kins and they're supercute.
Yeah, it's so good and I thinkit's more towards girls in their
20s.
Okay, um, but I still listen tobecause I'm like practically in
my 20s too.
Elizabeth Hert (39:52):
Yeah, I still think um yeah so I think it's
also.
Alexis Schmoker (39:56):
It's for the girl and it's for me.
Yeah, too, you're the girl.
Um, I am the girl, but they hadone of their friends come on and
she was talking about how sheprays for her kids to like, feel
and hear the holy spirit andlike see them in dreams and she
says like they are so, like theyare not that far distance from
(40:17):
have been, like have been inheaven or with god and jesus,
like they're I mean, wow,there's 10 months out, like
iverson's, four months out, like.
So.
That was something that I likewrote on my notes in my phone,
because if not, I'll just forgetand like screenshot it so I'd
see it whenever I got out.
Elizabeth Hert (40:34):
I'm not going to forget this.
Alexis Schmoker (40:36):
Um, and so I started like actively praying
about it, like I rememberpraying about it right then, and
then, like I wrote it down inmy Bible, like in the front you
can see, like I have, like I'llwrite down like whenever I think
of things, um, just differentprayers, um.
but I started like reallypouring myself into praying over
that, and whenever I'd rememberI would just like stop and like
just say a quick prayer like,dear Lord, please, you know, let
(40:56):
my kids have dreams of you andvisions of you and feel you.
And then, not a week later,crew was sleeping on our floor,
like on the end of our bed, andshe woke up in the middle of the
night and she stood up and shewas like looking at something
and she said, okay, jesus.
And then she like crawled inbed with us and then fell back
asleep.
But it woke, jordan and I bothup and so we were like what?
(41:19):
and I hadn't told jordan this,yeah, and so in the morning,
jordan's the one that said likewho?
Are you like what you dreamabout.
Last night, like you woke upand you were like talking to
someone and she said Jesus.
And Jordan said what did he say?
And she said that he loves me.
And I'm like that is wild.
And then I told him likeactually I have been, I heard
that and I've been praying aboutthat and like I wrote that in
(41:44):
my Bible on 514, like wrote thatI wanted to pray for this and
everything, and then that was519 yeah, is that not wild?
And it was like I feel likethat's something that I was
praying over and like was kindof like I hope that they do this
.
And then it was the holy spiritbeing like hey, I know that you
don't need proof from me, butlike here's some legitimate
(42:05):
proof and especially likedealing with your littles too.
Elizabeth Hert (42:08):
Like how much more of like a love sign of love
, could that be like?
Hey, you're praying and it'sabout your littles and I just
want you to know.
Like confirmation, like likeI'm.
Alexis Schmoker (42:16):
I got you in all the areas.
Elizabeth Hert (42:18):
But like here's an example of like yeah, and
normally she sleeps on the couch.
Alexis Schmoker (42:22):
So it was like an odd thing that she had.
We had taken welder's cribapart and so like his crib
mattress was on the ground inher room so she brought it into
our room and slept on the floor.
So she never does that yeah, andthen that night, and then that
night, like we both woke up toit like so that was just kind of
crazy and cool.
So obviously, like I know, weall like pray for our kids all
the time, but it was just crazy.
(42:44):
I like tried to intentionallypray about that and then it came
up, just like you said, likeconfirmation.
It's so wild.
That is awesome.
Um, any anything else on thistopic that you want to talk
about, just like church hurtraising your kids, protecting
them.
Elizabeth Hert (42:59):
I mean, I guess, just in a reminder to myself
too, that like, yeah, it is,it's not God that did it, it's
not I mean cause I think thatstruggle too, like why would you
allow this to happen?
You know, but like understandingthat we have free will and
people make bad decisions.
But yeah, just me saying thisand recovering myself is like
(43:20):
Jesus didn't do that, even still, like I am tiptoeing into a
church and it's hard not to feellike the church as a whole.
You know, and that's not true.
You know, it was just asingular person you know so that
yeah, and then just raise yourkids to have a voice because,
that's going to be one of themost important things, I think,
(43:41):
is you can say no you can tellpeople like even if you didn't
say no in the in the moment,whatever it is, you came to us
later yeah, you came to us laterand said this was uncomfortable
and I didn't like this.
Alexis Schmoker (43:52):
Okay, we'll be your voice, you know.
So, yeah, and it doesn't haveto be like big or small, yeah,
like it doesn't matter what itis.
Elizabeth Hert (44:00):
My friend said this I didn't like this.
Okay, Well, yeah, how thiscould you could say them or
whatever.
Alexis Schmoker (44:12):
You know.
Yeah, I think responding withit too, because I don't know.
I feel like sometimes I thinkback when I was little and I
would tell my dad something thathe's just like a, a boisterous
person you know like just he'sitalian, he's stuck and he's
like, well, I'll go talk to himand I'm like, don't come on man,
like don't go.
Elizabeth Hert (44:23):
My mom's like, yes, I'm getting involved.
I'm like I just want you tolisten to me and not yeah yes,
oh.
Alexis Schmoker (44:29):
So I'm like I'm gonna have to be mindful of
that too, because I can be youknow, Jesus wants us to be slow
to speak.
But I am working on that, yeah,because I can be very fast to
speak.
And then later I'm like, whywould I say that?
Elizabeth Hert (44:42):
oh, dang it.
I was thinking about that onthe way over.
Here is like I'm just, I'veaccepted that I'm an awkward
person.
And it's that meme where it'slike you bet I'm gonna lay in
bed for the next 30 years andthink about that one awkward
thing I said to that one randomperson.
You know that's me.
Alexis Schmoker (44:56):
Yeah, oh, that's me too.
I think about literally all thetime.
If I've ever said anythingawkward to you, I promise you
I've thought about you multipletimes, multiple times.
Uh well, and then another thingthat he was kind of talking
about in the sermon Craig, orshell in that one sermon um, was
that like at the end he stoppedand like apologized, like if
this has happened to you, he'snot like saying like I'm not
(45:20):
trying to minuscule whathappened to you because it's
very big and it's very real, andlike, but just know that like
that is not the church, that'snot God, that was a person.
And then he said to like jesusgoes through and says hypocrite
in the bible, however many times.
Like woe is the hypocrite, um.
So jesus didn't like hypocrites, right either right.
Elizabeth Hert (45:43):
So that's that has been.
A big healing thing for me toois just seeing christians
walking through like one of mycousins like I can't.
She's just like a normal person, you know, and it's like but
loves jesus, and I've never feltlike judged by her.
I've never felt, you know, andit's just like she's the most
giving loving person, likeshe'll.
(46:04):
One time she was down visitingmy grandma, actually in the
neighborhood too, oh yeah, yeah,and she took.
She was like you guys want to gotarget me, took him, came back
and like bought them toys, notthat that's like, yeah, you know
, but it was just like that's sosweet like it's just like
everything she does is like togive you want to be like them I
see jesus in her you know andlike I've never once felt her
(46:25):
judge anyone.
Yeah, you know, like, even ifyou're like oh my gosh, this,
this person, and she's like ohwell, maybe it's this yeah, it
doesn't gossip, it doesn't.
Yeah, that's one of the mosthealings actually seeing the
Christian who doesn't walk outthe door and act differently.
Alexis Schmoker (46:39):
They're just themselves and they love Jesus
you know, yeah, that's healing,that is healing, that's good.
Okay, so let's jump into yourcreative side.
Uh, you describe yourself as acreative heart and you're free
spirit.
I totally see that in you.
Always, you've always been thatway, um, and I love watching
your magic through wooden, oki.
So how does creating whetherit's being crafts or decorating
(47:00):
or just dreaming about differentideas bring you back to
yourself in the middle ofmotherhood?
Elizabeth Hert (47:04):
Yeah, that's definitely like my form of me
time is like one reading, likeI've really getting into like
reading books yes and then justbeing creative like I.
I will always try to be like oh, I should try and sell this,
but jenny's like, just do itbecause it makes you relax, you
know, so it'll be like oh, Ithink I'm gonna learn how to
cross stitch, or I think I'mgonna learn.
We just built the girls beds,like I saw that so I was like we
(47:27):
can do that right it was a lotharder than I thought it would
be, but it was fun, likelearning how to do that and yeah
, so that just is always like my, my me time and like reminding
myself that I'm a person and notjust a mom Cause it's hard to
get lost in that, Like whenHolland was first born, I
remember feeling like I don'teven know what music I like
anymore.
You know, like there's just somany things that you get
(47:47):
consumed and like a kid and youwatch the kid shows and you
listen to kid music and it's fun.
But then you're like what do Ilike?
Alexis Schmoker (47:54):
what do I?
like yeah, so creating is alwayslike a a good downtime for me
yeah, I think that's soimportant to try and find
hobbies, because I'm the sameway, but, like when I first had
crew and honestly, even before Ihad kids, jordan would be like
what is your hobby?
And I'd be be like, well, youknow nursing, like I'm a nurse
and I love that, and he's likethat's your job, that's not a
(48:17):
hobby, like that's what you dofor work, and I'd be like, well,
I like to go to brunch with myfriends.
And he's like so you'd like toeat, which is also required.
I'm like I do love that, I loveto do that, I love to go to
brunch with friends, or coffeedates or something.
But yeah, since, like afterhaving crew and trying to like
(48:38):
find my own hobby, it's like nowI like to read and I guess
maybe that's it.
Elizabeth Hert (48:44):
Maybe I just keep switching.
Alexis Schmoker (48:46):
But it is important to have like do this
podcast.
Elizabeth Hert (48:48):
I like to do this podcast yes, yeah, this is
a hobby, this is a hobby.
Alexis Schmoker (48:52):
Yeah, yeah, it's a passion.
It is, it's a passion, and so Ithink just finding those things
that kind of bring you back toyourself, yeah, and I know you
do things for fun, but you doalso sell things, yes, yeah.
So at Wood, different thingsyou made, like the cutest little
cupcake toppers and cake topperfor that's my favorite thing to
do right now.
Elizabeth Hert (49:12):
It's like a couple of different ventures
like wooden signs and stuff.
And what did I do?
For?
I tried to make like baby signs, you know, like one month old
and stuff like that.
I was just not very active onsocial media.
Alexis Schmoker (49:24):
I think that's like you need to be like yeah,
but I've gotten better at it too.
Elizabeth Hert (49:29):
But, yeah, so the birthday stuff is my
favorite.
It's so cute.
Alexis Schmoker (49:32):
So if you have birthday parties coming up or
anything, um, reach out to Lizbecause she does a great job.
I'd love to yeah.
Well, is there anything elsethat you want to talk about?
Oh, my gosh, I don't think so.
Thank you, Thank you, yes,Thank you for being so open and
vulnerable with us today.
Your story is a reminder thatmotherhood isn't about
perfection.
It's about presence, resilienceand creating something
(49:54):
beautiful right in the middle ofthe mess.
I love seeing how you love yourgirls so fiercely, create
fearlessly and keep showing upfor your family and your faith,
even whenever it's hard.
And for anyone who's listeningand wants a little handmade
magic or just a dose of real momhonesty, go follow Elizabeth at
Wooden Oki.
That's at W-O-O-D-E-N-O-K-I-E.
(50:17):
That's on Instagram, and you'reon Facebook too right On
Facebook and remember mamas evenwhen you feel like you're
stumbling through.
Your love is shaping somethingwild and wonderful.
I'll also link those twosermons in the show notes too.
Those are great resources ofpeople who do know what they're
talking about to go listen andkind of just uh, make up your
own mind on things.
(50:37):
Uh, until next time, stayrooted, stay real, stay wild.
Guys, we love you.
Thank you again, Mama.
I'm so grateful that you tooktime out of your busy schedule
today to listen to Mama of theWild Crew podcast.
(50:58):
I'm Alexa Schmoker and I hopeyou love this conversation and
that it resonated with you.
Thank you so much for openingup your circle and letting us in
as we walk through this wildride of motherhood together.
Remember, in the chaos ofmotherhood, there is always joy
to be found, so keep looking inthose little moments that make
it all worth it.
Be sure to follow along onInstagram at mamaofthewildcrew
(51:25):
underscore podcast.
Please don't forget to like,subscribe and share our podcast.
I'd love to hear from you.
So comment, tag me, DM me, letme know what you think and let
me know what you'd love to hearfrom you.
So comment, tag me, DM me, letme know what you think and let
me know what you'd like to hearnext.
Mama, I am praying for you, Ilove you and I cannot wait to
see you next time.
Welcome to Mama of the Wild Crew podcast, the
podcast where we embrace themessy, wild, beautiful journey
of motherhood together.
I'm your host, alexa Schmoker,mama of two beautiful kiddos,
wife, nurse and lover of Jesus.
Motherhood is full of hardmoments, unexpected chaos and
(00:27):
those days where you just reallydon't have it all together.
But in the midst of it all,there is so much joy.
On this podcast, we're divinginto the real, honest
conversations about motherhoodthe challenges, the triumphs and
everything in between.
We'll hear the stories ofincredible moms from all walks
(00:47):
of life, share wisdom, laughterand let's be real probably a few
tears, and we're going todiscover how to embrace the joy
in this chaos.
So, whether you're rocking ababy to sleep, folding that
never-ending pile of laundry orsneaking away for a quiet moment
with your coffee, welcome mama.
You're not alone here.
(01:07):
Hit, subscribe and join me onthis wild adventure of
motherhood.
I can't wait to do this journeywith you.
Hey, wild crew mamas, andwelcome back.
Today's episode is extra specialbecause I get to sit down with
someone who has been a part ofmy life since high school and
(01:28):
now, all these years later,we're walking through motherhood
together, kind of likereconnected.
Elizabeth Hurt is not only amama of three fierce and fun
little girlies Holland, lennonand Iverson, but she's also a
creative soul, a faith fighterand the heart behind wooden oaky
.
Whether it's crafting thatbirthday magic or navigating the
(01:48):
raw and beautiful mess ofmotherhood, she brings honesty,
humor and a whole lot of heart.
Her story is one of rebuildingfaith, finding joy in the small
things and raising daughters whoare not both just, or who are
both princesses and wildadventurers.
And I just know you're going toconnect with her, like I do.
We're already cracking up overhere who are both princesses and
(02:10):
wild adventurers, and I justknow you're going to connect
with her, like I do.
We're already cracking up overhere, so let's welcome my sweet
friend Elizabeth to Mama of theWild Crew podcast.
Hi, thanks for having me Ofcourse, tell us a little bit
about yourself and about yourhusband and your girls.
Elizabeth Hert (02:21):
Okay, yes, I'm Elizabeth, my husband is
Channing and then, like you said, I have three girls holland,
lennon and iverson.
They're four, so everyone'sabout to shift in age too.
So it's about to be five, threeand four months.
So I know that's a goodeveryone's all close together
yeah, you know cozy and uh, yeah, been married for 2013, so
(02:47):
almost 12 years this year.
That's crazy.
Alexis Schmoker (02:49):
I remember going to your wedding yeah, you
were like kind of one of myfirst friends to get married.
Do you feel like that?
Elizabeth Hert (02:56):
20 we look back and we're like that was too
young, but it was great it wasgreat it worked out, but we
couldn't even like havechampagne at our wedding.
We had chocolate milk.
Alexis Schmoker (03:04):
It was chocolate milk, we were babies.
Yes, yes, I remember that, butit was so pretty, it was like a
barn-esque theme.
Elizabeth Hert (03:10):
I look back and it was so Pinterest-y, which I
still love, yeah, because I'mlike maybe not what I would do
nowadays, but you know likewedding style.
Alexis Schmoker (03:22):
But I look back at your wedding and you're not
like oh my God, yeah, yeah, itwas pretty, so cute.
And I was telling you too thatI remember like a time whenever
we were in Nottingham.
Elizabeth Hert (03:34):
Like someone was driving around.
Do you remember this?
Alexis Schmoker (03:37):
I don't remember we ran into Chan and
you guys were like in thetalking yeah.
Elizabeth Hert (03:42):
Yeah, we were like in the talking.
Yeah, yeah, we were always liketexting back and forth and he
would like.
He's just like a serial flirterlike he even stills like my
grandma and my grandma he'salways like hitting on them and
flirting on them like he's just,like he's so funny and he's a
charmer and so yeah, we wouldalways just like text on and off
and it would just like never,we'd never hang out yeah, and
then he just it was.
(04:03):
So it was like after wegraduated yeah, like finally, he
just invited me one night Idon't know if I told you this
story.
I was like working atAndalini's at the time and I had
homework to do from startingcollege and he texted me and was
like come to the church, thisthing at the church at OFA.
And so I was like, maybe, likeI have homework, and he was like
(04:24):
, just come up there.
So I like came when I got offwork or something, so it was
like nine o'clock at night andthey had had like a concert and
it was already over and so then,I was like talking to him and
like Jason Boggs and everyonewas there
then they were like all right,now, come to Waffle House with
us.
And I was like I'm gonna comeon Waffle House, I just want to
go home.
And he was like I'm going tocome to Waffle House, I just
want to go home.
And he was like, get in the car.
And so I got in the car, likewe went to Waffle House ate and
(04:48):
then like he drove me back and Ilike got his hoodie I know it
was serious.
It was serious and he likedropped me off my car and he
just like kissed me and thendrove straight to my brother's
house.
Because they knew him, becausemy brother's wife, michelle,
worked with him at JCPenney'sand so she was like, oh, she
would always be like Channing'sasking about you and like who
(05:08):
you're dating and stuff.
I'm like whatever, he's alwaysjust flirting you know leaving
me, and so I drove straightthere and I was like Channing
her just kissed me and they werelike what that?
Alexis Schmoker (05:24):
Oh, I never knew that story.
I also love that you worked atAndalini's and you worked at
JCPenney's, because I feel likeeveryone in Owasso.
I did not work at Andalini'sbecause I was, you know, a Baja
Jacks girl.
But all of my friends worked atAndalini's.
Elizabeth Hert (05:38):
Like everyone that I know.
Yeah, literally.
There's even girls under me,like at Target, that are young
and I'm like they're like we.
I've worked at Anne Delaney'sbefore.
I'm like, listen here.
It's like a sorority.
Alexis Schmoker (05:57):
Yeah, I used to be, you're like I'm at the
sorority of Anne Delaney's, I'mpaying away for you at Anne
Delaney's.
You are and I was, like theyprobably don't.
And that's such a shame forthem.
Elizabeth Hert (06:08):
I should put a picture up in the back.
I should have a picture Like Imade this playlist this playlist
that is still playing.
Alexis Schmoker (06:15):
I made that, did you really?
Elizabeth Hert (06:16):
That's great I limewired that baby.
Yes, yes, you're welcome, yeah,you're welcome.
Yeah, you're welcome.
Ever was our last anniversarygift.
I actually got him a black andwhite framed picture of a waffle
house like it's just a coolpicture of like waffle house and
I gave it to him and he madehim tear up a little bit.
Alexis Schmoker (06:35):
Yes, I got him.
Well, and do you listen to thejonas brothers?
Elizabeth Hert (06:38):
yeah, we play that.
The girls love it too, so Ilove, okay, jordan, and I love
jonas brothers.
Alexis Schmoker (06:43):
Oh man, they really came back they were good
back then and then they cameback and I was like well, I
wasn't a jonas brothers man likeback in the day and, to be
honest, I kind of it was likeselfish.
I feel like I was like too coolor something I was like.
Elizabeth Hert (06:56):
I mean, they were kind of like we were it was
on the table yeah, growing up.
Alexis Schmoker (07:01):
Um, but man, I love jonas brothers.
We went to their concert lasttime they came to tulsa and I
was like that is the bestconcert I've ever been to in my
entire life.
Elizabeth Hert (07:09):
Oh gosh, so good , like it was just like fun, and
oh my gosh, and they're just sotalented and I was sitting
there like I felt.
Alexis Schmoker (07:16):
I felt convicted by the jonas brothers.
You started putting your handsup like amen, yes, so good.
Hey there, wild crew mamas, somesuper exciting news.
If you're like me, these daysany day is a hat day.
Literally probably every day isa hat day, and we have two new
hats for mama of the wild crewpodcast.
(07:37):
I am so excited, and huge shoutout to my sister-in-law, brie,
over at smoky designs, fortaking these ideas and bringing
them to life.
We have Mama of the Wild Crewpodcast hat and we also have the
cutest hat.
It says motherhood is myministry.
And ain't that the truth, guys,head on over to our Instagram
at mamaofthewildcrew underscorepodcast, dm me or comment on one
(07:59):
of the posts and let us knowthat you want your hat today.
Growing up, our parents had asuper special tradition.
We kept this big stork in ourgarage and whenever someone,
either in town or one of ourfriends, had a baby, we would
all load up and go over to theirhouse and put this stork in
their yard to help themcelebrate.
(08:20):
It was one of my favoritechildhood memories and my sister
, addison Sewell, has carried onthat tradition.
She is the proud owner ofOwasso Storks, offering
personalized stork deliveries tofamilies celebrating the
arrival of a new baby, whetherit's a baby announcement, a baby
shower or to celebrate thebirth of a little one, owasso
(08:40):
Storks is the perfect thoughtful, sentimental gift.
There are even options tocelebrate proud big siblings and
even those furry little familymembers.
For a sweet, memorable gift,reach out to Owasso Storks.
Check them out on Instagram.
That's at Owasso Storks, atO-W-A-S-S-O-S-T-O-R-K-S, and you
(09:02):
can find their contact info inthe show notes.
Guys, this is just the sweetestgift.
I have personally been blessedby a stork from Owasso Storks
before.
Owasso Storks was a thing andit was just the sweetest thing.
So definitely reach out toOwasso Storks, okay, so we're
(09:23):
going to get into the podcastquestion.
Um, so you know, literally wewere texting last night because
you and miranda are going tothat movie theater in bixby that
has like the playground to seelilo and stitch.
So we took the kids lastweekend to it and that play we'd
never been there and you canlike get up on, like know how
(09:44):
they have different levels in aplayground.
Elizabeth Hert (09:46):
Yeah, yeah, yeah .
Alexis Schmoker (09:46):
So Crew like climbed up on the level and
there's like a spinny wheel, soshe grabbed onto it and like
flipped upside down like she wasbeing a monkey or whatever, and
I saw her and I was like, ohhey, crewsy, like look at you
Cute.
Well, anyway, let go to wave atme.
Boom, it was like five feet.
Elizabeth Hert (10:05):
So far that was our first, big like boo, boo,
like that.
Alexis Schmoker (10:09):
Yeah.
So of course, jordan's likelooking at her like frozen
trying to assess the situationand I like go in the playground
with it's not easy to get inthere.
Elizabeth Hert (10:18):
It's not easy to get in there.
Alexis Schmoker (10:19):
No, and of course there's so many kids
because it's like the grandpremiere of lulo and stitch yes
um, and she's losing it andthere's just blood everywhere
and that makes it worse.
Elizabeth Hert (10:29):
Like yeah because it's so vascular, you
know.
Alexis Schmoker (10:32):
So like it was her mouth, her nose, everything.
So we finally got settled um,but that was my mom, phil uh,
surrounding what you guys aredoing today.
So have fun, yeah, be safe itwas.
Elizabeth Hert (10:43):
It was a nice morning yeah, be safe anyway.
What's your ball?
Fail, oh man I kind of have two, okay, okay, one for each kid
yes, yeah okay.
So for holland, one time we wereat fantastic island playing on
the you know splash pad, doingthe whole thing.
She runs up to me and she'slike look, and she has candy in
her mouth and I was like hey,where'd you get that?
And we were there with ourfriends.
I was like did michael give youthat?
And she was like yeah.
(11:04):
And I was like okay, cool, goon, she's eating it.
Then later I went up to ourfriends and I was like hey, did
you give holland candy?
He's like no, I'm like wentback up to her.
I'm like where did you get that?
And she's like on the groundand it was like like jolly
rancher, ish.
So I'm like there's notsomething that was like stuck to
that and yeah, so yeah.
Alexis Schmoker (11:24):
Just blue mouth .
Elizabeth Hert (11:25):
Yeah, I knew when, I saw it because I was
like why do you just have randomcandy?
You know, yeah, and it was arandom candy, yeah.
Alexis Schmoker (11:32):
It was a random candy.
Yeah, it was fun.
Elizabeth Hert (11:34):
Immunity you know, yeah, you just build it up
that immunity.
Yes, oh.
And then Lennon she, when wewere in Target, you always let
your kids stand in the basket,you know it was like easier.
At the time, Holland alwayswanted the seat they would fight
, so Lennon would just stand up.
It should be like one and ahalf maybe, and I was trying.
So don't get that Target Circleapp because it distracted me it
(11:55):
distracted you.
Alexis Schmoker (11:55):
I was looking up deals on my phone to try to
scan Before I was telling youI'd like.
Still, I don't know what it is,I haven't downloaded it, but
anyway it's saving.
Elizabeth Hert (12:04):
Here you go, this is your saving.
Oh my gosh.
So I'm looking for the deal.
I'm like that and all of asudden I hear a guy behind me go
like like that and it's becauseshe's climbing over the edge
and she falls to the tile floor.
Yeah, bawling my eyes outbecause she had to hit her head,
and thankfully, like a personchecking out and a lady who
(12:25):
worked there, came up to me andthey were like we're nurses like
, I just want to let you know,like let me check her out, she's
fine, and I was like, yeah,made me feel better.
Alexis Schmoker (12:33):
They came up to me, yes, oh, and then you're
like feeling guilty, oh man soguilty so now I'm like don't you
dare stand up in a basket youknow, yeah, they want to ride on
the edge all the time I'm likeptsd yeah, well, crew fell
forward out of the wagon onetime I think I remember you
saying that story, yeah yeah, soyeah, we actually just
(12:53):
yesterday we were at the parkand she was like standing on the
front of the stroller and wewere like sit down because one
time, one time you fell out ofthe wagon.
Yeah, okay, so you and I'veknown each other since high
school and back when we werewrapping ankles and fetching ice
and making gatorade ice too,watching svu on our breaks and
(13:15):
doing photo shoots.
Because everyone, everyone, Ithink listening to this is at
the age where you did a photoshoot.
You did and you know you didwith your camera, at the park,
with your friends, you did.
Or at sleepovers.
Elizabeth Hert (13:28):
When we did it for the managers and like the
trainers, a desperate house.
I think back to that.
I'm like, why did they let usdo that?
That was so scandalous.
Why did they let us?
Alexis Schmoker (13:36):
do that.
Oh my gosh, we're going to haveto find that picture and share
it with you guys.
I don't know, that's not how Isaw myself.
It was so random for us tothink.
Or how I see myself in thefuture.
Yeah, okay guys.
So we were athletic trainersfor the sports teams and we
decided to do a photo shoot for,like our calendar stuff, I
(14:00):
guess.
Yeah For like the program orsomething right For the program,
as Desperate Housewives we allhad like apples in our hands.
Yeah, I didn't even watch thatshow.
Elizabeth Hert (14:11):
I mean, I wouldn't have had any reference.
It must have just been big.
It definitely was big at thetime, I don't know.
Alexis Schmoker (14:17):
But yeah, we did that at Jenna's kitchen, yes
, which is such a beautifulkitchen, but yeah, anyway.
So now here we are, walkingthrough motherhood, looking back
.
Did you ever imagine life wouldlook like this?
I did not.
Elizabeth Hert (14:34):
No, that's crazy , that's so crazy, even just
saying, like our story me andChanning me, like there's, that
wasn't even on my radar, youknow, until I like met him and
like got up with him, thinkingabout having like kids, kids and
yeah, that's crazy, oh man.
Alexis Schmoker (14:49):
And we both walked through just like crazy
high school boyfriends and stuff, and I think back on that and
I'm like, oh yeah, I think ifone thing I could like teach
crew I don't even know how toapproach this, but like just
dating intention, that's likeone regret.
I have Obviously everythingworked out for me, but just like
(15:09):
dating more intentionally orprotecting your heart better.
Elizabeth Hert (15:13):
I don't know Like me teaching them to be like
less of a people, pleaser.
Alexis Schmoker (15:19):
Like.
Elizabeth Hert (15:20):
I feel like they're going to be strong
enough to be like boy bye youknow kind of thing yeah.
Alexis Schmoker (15:25):
Like yeah, we were sneaking in the locker room
to check boyfriend's phoneswhile they were at practice.
Do you remember that?
I mean doing the thing, doingthe thing, and why did we put up
with that anyway, I don't know.
But okay, so when we firststarted talking about like you
coming on this podcast, Iremember you told me like you
felt a little inadequate, andI'm glad that you said that,
(15:47):
because I feel I feel that way,like quite often, even like
doing the podcast or posting onsocial media or anything, I feel
like, oh, who am I to like dothis?
I guess.
Um, but Channing was reallylike the one that you said
encouraged you to go on andshare, and you said to me like
that's the beauty of it, hemeets you where you're at, like
(16:07):
you don't have to meet hisexpectations and his love for
you.
So I love that.
And then also, I've beenwatching the chosen lately.
Okay, have you watched that?
You guys need to watch itbecause I feel like it puts it
in such like different light orperspective.
Like obviously you read theBible, you know the stories, but
something about like watchingJesus and the apostles and
(16:28):
everything, like you really see,like these are just some ragtag
guys, right, like Like visuallyseeing it.
Elizabeth Hert (16:34):
Yes.
Alexis Schmoker (16:34):
Visually seeing it and like connecting with the
characters and you're like waita second, Like they also were,
like I don't know what I'm doing, right, you know, like Just
human.
Yeah, they were just human youknow, and like they were flawed
and imperfect and really didn'tknow what they were doing.
But the whole thing was thatthey had faith, yes, they were
following, even though they feltinadequate.
(16:56):
And I mean, we all areinadequate, we are, we're
equipped through him, right.
So I like that.
We kind of talked about that,yeah, because I'm like that's
something I was struggling withtoo.
But what has it been like foryou letting go of the pressures
and just being who you are, inyour faith and through your
motherhood?
Elizabeth Hert (17:14):
I think that's like generally the only way like
I have that's a coming backdown to like roots and like even
walking through it.
Like I still have to tellmyself like it's just like about
loving Jesus, almost likethat's what I tell myself, like
that's it, you know, yeah, likeI'm there's gonna, I'm gonna do
things that are people don'tagree with or but like as long
(17:36):
as true to myself, like I justlove, like Jesus.
It's like the we've beenlistening to a lot of for king
and country and it's the proofof your love song like that's
what that's just been hittinghome for me, because I'm just
like, I just like want my lifeto be like the proof of your
love song, like that's whatthat's just been hitting home
for me, cause I'm just like, Ijust like want my life to be
like the proof of your love andI and that's not what it used to
be for me, like my faith usedto be like, how can I look the
(17:57):
part and how can I, yeah, howcan I play it and how can I be
perfect?
And oh, I'm, I'm inadequate if Ido an X, y, z, you know, kind
of thing, and it's not that atall and that, I think, was not.
You know, like I didn't get anylove through that.
I mean, I did, he loved me, butlike to myself, like I didn't
let it hit deep because I justwas like so worried about the
(18:18):
looks of it and how to play thepart and the emotions and you
know so just coming back andjust being like, just love, love
like Jesus and love Jesus, andthat is pretty much yeah.
Alexis Schmoker (18:33):
That's kind of how we are too, Because our
church, their motto I guess Idon't know how you would say it
Mission statement, whatever itmay be is love Jesus and love
like Jesus.
And it's so simple.
Yes, but it's something thatliterally like we have to, we
say multiple times a day, I sayto myself multiple times a day
Sometimes when literally, likewe have to, we say multiple
times a day.
I say to myself multiple times aday, sometimes when I'm not
feeling like it, you know.
But then also, like crewunderstands that too Like it's
(18:54):
something that like it's sosimple that I understand, jordan
can understand, we can getreally deep with it but also,
it's so simple to where, like,you can tell your kids that and
like, use it in daily languageand talk about it.
King for King Country, are theythe ones they have a movie,
don't they?
Elizabeth Hert (19:07):
Do they have a?
Alexis Schmoker (19:08):
live movie.
I feel like I heard them talkabout it one time on another
podcast.
Elizabeth Hert (19:12):
I need to see because, honestly, I haven't
listened to them for a while andwhen I went back to see they
had a bunch of soundtracks.
So I imagine that you'reprobably right and I feel like
maybe is it Rebecca.
Alexis Schmoker (19:24):
Is that who's in it?
This might be completely wronginformation, but I think someone
has um a book that they justput out with their husband too,
or something, and it's one ofthem or something.
Yeah we'll have to look it upand if this is wrong guys, don't
quote me, because it might be,but I think it might be right.
Elizabeth Hert (19:39):
So you're on.
Alexis Schmoker (19:40):
You're on the right page I might be on the
right page.
Yeah, yeah, so we'll have towatch it.
Elizabeth Hert (19:44):
Yeah, yeah I saw them at uh frontier city, I don
don't know.
Six years ago or something itwas like one of the best
concerts I've ever been toReally One of their main albums.
I don't know that was aroundthat time that has Fix my Eyes
on you, which is like one ofLennon's favorite songs, right
now Like we get in the car.
She says fix my eyes.
That's what we play.
Alexis Schmoker (20:04):
It's been fun listening to them again.
That is fun.
I think some of it too and thismight not be true for all like
young girls, because I see girlsthat do not like walk it out
the way that I did.
But I feel like just maturityto you know, whenever you're
younger like I was listening toa sermon earlier and it was
talking about just like howthere's different ways that
(20:25):
christians can I don't know notlike look like Christian, like
we think so one of them is justlike being a baby young
Christian, like you're just notmature yet, and so I think that
comes with time, um, and justfixing your heart on Jesus and
not saying that, even thoughwe're 31, 32, whatever, like we
still have maturing to do, youknow, and there's things that we
still mess up, and so I thinkit's just giving yourself grace
(20:48):
too, but repenting, because, man, you're always going to be
imperfect.
But that kind of leads us intolike a little bit more of a
heavy topic and I want to likego in with a disclosure that we
are not like pastors orpreachers or experts at all on
this topic, like this is just ustalking about some experiences
(21:08):
and like maybe thoughts orthings that we've learned or how
we hope to look, but we'regoing to kind of talk about
church hurt like quote unquote.
Church hurt, I guess, is kind ofthe phrase that people say
because it's so real and I knowmany listening have experienced
it in one way or another.
And, liz, your story involvesdeep spiritual trauma, like on a
very large scale.
(21:28):
Please share as much or aslittle with listeners that you
would like.
How did walking through thiswith Chan impact your marriage?
How has your motherhood playeda role in slowly rebuilding your
trust with God?
And now, as a mom of threegirlies, how are you finding
ways to protect them but alsoempower them with faith, even
though you're still healingyourself?
Elizabeth Hert (21:50):
It's hard, it's still like figuring it out, like
when you're saying likematurity, I'm like a newborn you
know like back into faith.
Um, I guess, just like startingfrom it like I grew up in
church, but it was like, likeyou said, just casual.
Like we went to a Baptistchurch when I grew up and we
(22:10):
would I think we would probablygo every Sunday, but like I was
sleeping in the pews, you know,and like.
I don't think I was.
I didn't go to Sunday schooland stuff like that.
I would go to like a BBS orsomething and then, like into
high school when we moved here,I would go to like youth groups,
like hang out.
I definitely got stuff out ofit, but it was still again just
casual, like my family wasn'tgoing on weekends.
(22:31):
No one's like encouraging me tohave like a personal
relationship.
I remember one of your episodesand she said that like she
never had, like no one wasteaching her to have personal I
knew what church was.
I knew what God Jesus,everything, but like no one
taught me how to be.
Alexis Schmoker (22:45):
Yeah a figure in a book.
Right, that's what she said.
Elizabeth Hert (22:47):
Yeah, not not like not like your deep personal
yes and so that I mean I wentto like a church camp and so
everything just surface levelish, you know.
Um, yeah, and then when me andChanning got together, he, his
family members, were involved inthe church like pastors and
assistant pastors, and so then Iwas like that again, where it's
(23:11):
like I need, okay, I need topeople pleaser.
I'm like how do I?
Because when we first gottogether, I remember his mom
being she doesn't care, I guess,if I say this because but she
being like they didn't want usto be together, because I'm like
not involved in the church withthem and stuff, even though he
was like rowdy, you know, youhad no idea but he was.
Alexis Schmoker (23:29):
He was like the church kid, like whenever I
think back, like that's how Iguess one of his identities not
his identity, but one way thathe was known was like being the.
He's a pk.
Elizabeth Hert (23:39):
Yeah, he's a pk yeah, and so the pks are wow,
yeah, but and so like I remembernot feeling like good enough to
be dating him.
So then I'm like how do Itransform into the person you
want me to be, which is like I'mgoing to dive in, and we don't
say any cuss words?
We don't watch movies with cusswords.
I'm down.
(24:00):
We're crossing off the boxesRight, and not really because I
think that spiritually it willhelp us, but because that's what
we're supposed to do.
Alexis Schmoker (24:10):
That's what we do.
Elizabeth Hert (24:11):
Yeah, that's what we do, which puts strains
on our marriage too, justbecause I'm like controlling it
and nagging if, like, thesethings are happening and like
not being a free spirit person,like it's like do these things,
you know, which is what he grewup with too, so he's like this
is not fun.
Alexis Schmoker (24:27):
You know yeah.
Elizabeth Hert (24:32):
But that's where we're deep into that.
I mean I did start to developlike more than just like a
surface level relationship tooby doing that, like it's easy,
like read the bible and likeokay, I'm getting something out
of it, but also still justwalking.
You know, talking the talk,walk and anyways.
Then we had some stuff come out.
It was like seven years agomaybe where um a family member
(24:55):
we found out and was sexuallyabusing a child in his family
and looking up to that person asa pastor.
Then I mean that just yeah,rocked his world and our world
on many different levels rightyou know levels of man hurt, and
(25:16):
so I just um, I don't know howmuch longer after that when it
came out, but obviously that's astruggle and he already didn't.
Wasn't like because he hadgrown up in it and it was
controlling like, wasn't like hewas super deep into church or
like his relationship oranything either he was already
starting to pull away.
(25:36):
So then when that happened, Iremember we sat down and we like
went to lunch at Qdoba and onCherry Street and we like sat
down.
He was like I think I'm, Ithink I want to be atheist and
like it shocked me on a worldthat was like how does that look
for us?
You know, not like wow, how he,how he must be hurting, like
(25:58):
obviously I felt that for him,but it was like what are the
people going to think of us, youknow, and like that's my first
thought, which, when I thinkback to now, like that, breaks
my heart.
You know, that's, that's what Ithought.
And so, and so I mean, we walkedaway from that conversation
like good and like you knowwe're going to get through this,
(26:18):
you know, but that's, we justpulled all the way back and like
there's, for a while it waslike even had like resentment.
You know, like people like, oh,we go to church and I'm like
you know like good luck, see howthat goes yeah do you know what
happens?
you know so, even kind of someresentment and stuff.
And then I think just over time, like obviously I feel like
(26:40):
god's working in the backgroundtoo, just like softening it,
softening it.
And then we had gone to likechurch on the move a couple time
for for like Easter or you knowsome holidays, like just easing
back into it and like himcoming to me and being like do
you want to go, do this?
I think I know for him to likeI'm not speaking for his faith
or what.
This is his own journey butlike him being like willing to.
Alexis Schmoker (27:02):
Yeah, let's go and let's see what it is.
Elizabeth Hert (27:05):
Yeah, feeling that pool again.
So it is, yeah, filling thatpool again.
So I mean, yeah, just beingreal, like we're still newborns
in it, like getting back in it,and just I stripped it down to
like I don't, I'm not gonnajudge you, I don't care, like
I'm gonna love you becausethat's what jesus says, like
just gonna love you.
Like I had one of my nephews,like when we I was like deep
into like the, the churchy, Idon't know part of it was came
(27:29):
out as gay, you know me judginghim hard and versus loving him
through it, and like I look backand like apologize to him and
stuff, you know, because I'mlike that's not who I am, like I
, I love you, I don't care ifyou come to me, like I don't
have to promote that you know,and I don even care, but just
(27:50):
like judging you through it andnot loving you through it.
Right, you know, and I I don'twant to be that person.
Like I want to.
Like Jesus would have been like, hey, I love you, yeah, yeah, I
love you.
Alexis Schmoker (28:01):
Well, absolutely, and again back to
the chosen.
Elizabeth Hert (28:03):
Yes, you promoting the chosen.
Alexis Schmoker (28:05):
But, um, that has put such a different light
in me too, just just seeing,like I know obviously the actor
that plays Jesus is not Jesusbut seeing just Jesus's like
interactions and compassions andlike him in human form, like he
is being human in the way thathe does, like interact and love
(28:27):
people, you're right Like he isnot here to judge we are not, we
are not the judgers Like we arejust simply here to love, like
Jesus, and Jesus loved everyoneand even the people like you
read the stories and everythingagain, you know, like these are
the sinners, these are.
You know, jesus hangs withsinners or whatnot.
And then in this you're trulyable to see like, oh, these are
(28:49):
kind of people that relate topeople I know or things I have
done, or it's just like easy toconnect that right, um, so, yeah
, I mean because it's it can beso hard to not puff yourself up,
I guess, whenever you get onyour high horse.
Elizabeth Hert (29:06):
Yeah, you feel so holy and it's like come to
church with me, cause like I'mdoing the right thing.
You should be more like me.
Alexis Schmoker (29:14):
Yeah, and it's not like you don't want to be
like me, like you want to belike Jesus, like we're just all
striving to be that way.
Um, I've kind of like had twosermons fall in my lap as I knew
that we were preparing like totalk about this, so I will link
them below.
But, um, two sermons that Ikind of like listened to and
watch, that I found helpful,just like kind of thinking
(29:34):
through this topic and situationand everything was um, on
YouTube Craig Gershell, hissermon on Christians let you
down, okay.
And then Matt Thomas, in thatfirst church, just this past
Sunday um did a sermon.
It's like a series of why, likeit's taking all of these
questions like hard questionsagainst Christianity and kind of
(29:56):
going through it and it's why,why we need the church.
So those are also good.
I'll link them below.
But in the sermon with CraigRochelle he makes a quote of
brennan manning and he says thesingle greatest cause of atheism
in the world today ischristians who acknowledge jesus
with their lips, then walk outthe door and deny him by their
(30:17):
lifestyle.
Um, that is like what theunbelieving, what does it say?
That is what an unbelievingworld simply finds unbelievable.
So it's like that atheism isdue to.
I think is what it's saying likeseeing a christian seeing a
quote-unquote christian yeah,not acting like jesus and then
(30:39):
he really dives into talkingabout um, like the church didn't
let me down, god didn't let medown like a person that's what I
have to tell myself a lot oftimes, like when I was going
through, like the resentment andstuff is like that's just a
human, you know, it's just.
Elizabeth Hert (30:55):
Yeah, it's hard, so hard Because it was just
like in multiple facets of yourlife.
We held to such a high you know,like and then that didn't, I
guess, answer the part of likeprotecting the girls and stuff
too, like that is a paranoia forus is like oh yeah, going to
church and putting them in aclass so that it's just like
telling them, like this is yourbody, like no one touches your
(31:18):
body besides me and dada and wedon't even want to do that.
Like you're a big girl, you goto the potty.
Now we don't need to do that,you know.
Like that is your body, youknow, and so just like
empowering them to like alwaysspeak and tell people no, you
can walk out of the class and gofind another adult.
You can always tell us you knowand like, not that it's only
(31:39):
going to happen there, but justlike yeah, that's where it's
connected for you, and yeah.
Yeah, so just teaching them howto use their voice?
I don't think I was taught whenI was little how to use my
voice.
It was like like I thought Isaw some recently.
It was like the good girlsyndrome, where it's like so you
build up over time.
Or it's like go give them a hugLike you don't want to go give.
Just go give them a hug Likethey're fine.
(32:00):
Go give them a hug.
You don't want to but thenyou're like your parents telling
you you have to, yeah, and solike, okay, she doesn't want to
hug right now, or like, yeah,she doesn't want to say I love
you like my dad.
Alexis Schmoker (32:11):
Yeah, I just want to say he's a pawpaw you
know, and he's like I love you,and if they don't say that I'm
like they love you.
It's fine yeah, you know, theylove you they love you.
Yeah, yeah, high fives you knowyeah waves so hard, especially
because they're little right now.
I mean, so you're just like inthat like mom fight or flight
mode and I kind of talked aboutthis before too, whenever Amy
Bray came on, who was an earlychildhood director.
(32:33):
But like I am that crazy momthat even my we've been touring
schools lately, like for nextyear, oh yeah, so I I go and ask
for a tour.
Like I know we have open house,like I don't great, I will also
be at that.
But like I'm also like oh, I'vegone to multiple schools now,
like sitting down with thedirector, like I want to see, I
want to go to each classroom,like like I went during school
(32:56):
while they were doinginstruction, and like playing,
which is kind of crazy, yeah,but I'm a little crazy and so I
think it's okay to like also dothat.
If you need, yeah, to know that,and obviously too, you also
such a hard balance, becausethen you're, you know you're
like I need to trust God.
These are his children, I'mhere to steward them and it's, I
think for me it's hard to likefind that balance between, like
(33:18):
God, I trust you, these are yourchildren, you will do what's
good in their life.
But also you chose me tosteward them and protect them,
right, so, like what, I don't.
I have a hard time with thatbalance sometimes and I'm still
working on that?
Um.
So I don't know, like, what areyou kind of said, like talking
about honesty and things withthem?
Do you think like anything willchange as they get older, how
(33:43):
you kind of talk about that?
Or like, do you guys do school?
How do you like approach schooland slumber parties?
Elizabeth Hert (33:53):
school and slumber parties, and I mean, our
day was different.
Yeah, I think we're gonna be,you know, maybe at this outside
the door, maybe more parents aredoing that right now too.
But like slumber parties for usis a no, and I I think I saw
somewhere recently on Instagramwhere another mom had said that
like that's a boundary, becauseit's just like you can go and
hang out late, you know, andthen you can come back and stuff
, but it's just like that's suchlike a I think it was even
saying like, even if nothinghappens to your child, but like
(34:14):
late at nights or when otherpeople, like adults maybe you're
watching pornography or moviesthat too old for your child,
like stuff, that like they canalso just see yeah, another
person's house that you, it'strue seems like a bad word, but
like, yeah, you're trying toprotect them and keep them
innocent.
Maybe the other people don'thave the same view as us for
their boundaries and I don'tknow that's for us that would be
(34:38):
something that's a no for us.
And then I think one time wewere in, we lived in Oklahoma
City for like a little stint oftime and we were going to Life
Church there and we had gonealmost like one one and a half,
we in a life church there, andwe had gone almost like one one
and a half.
We had dropped her off at likeclass.
We were like, let's just try it, you know.
Mainly honestly, at that pointI think we were just like we
need a babysitter we don't havefamily, so like we're gonna go
(34:59):
sit in the lobby and drinkcoffee
you know, and everything wasfine.
She loved it and then, like wewent again next time, we were
sitting there and Jenny was likewe go check on her like he just
had, like this, he had like afeeling and he hadn't had that
before he went in there was amale teacher in there that
wasn't in there when we droppedher off, he was fine.
Yeah, nothing happened, but Ijust thought it was awesome that
(35:21):
like he had that intuition, theholy spirit like gave him.
Alexis Schmoker (35:24):
Yeah, it was like go check on your baby you
know kind of thing, and I waslike oh yeah, there's a male
that gives me the chills, yeah,yeah because it's just like him
showing up again too, like, hey,I know your trauma and like
your fear so even if nothing'shappening like, you're not gonna
be comfortable with this whenyou when you pick up, when you
go to pick her up, yeah, so Ithink it's okay that you tour
and do all that, because I'mlike you do you want to know the
(35:46):
surroundings and yeah yourjudgment on character.
Elizabeth Hert (35:49):
I mean even females and stuff like that it's
not just males, but like youare a good judgment character of
like people so it's like gonnameet you and just kind of fill
out.
You know it's the vibe here sowell, I feel like.
Alexis Schmoker (36:01):
That's like, discernment of people's
character is not one of mystrong suits.
Um so jordan, I feel like, ismore so my youngest sister avery
, like can sniff it out fromacross, like across the field,
like she'll like look at someoneshe's like and maybe sometimes
(36:23):
in a judgmental way, maybe it'snot, you know but like her
dessert, like she's just adiscerning person, yeah, whereas
I'm like, oh no, she seemedreally nice, like um, they were
great, that's me at work.
Elizabeth Hert (36:34):
I work.
I don't know if we said that onhere too, but I work at target
part time and like I think therewas a lady one time that was
like coming in and she was likealways chat with me.
She was so nice protectionthere and they'll kind of like
give us a heads up if this islike returning people who have
like theft, or like they canjust already tell in the store
that they're like you know doingstuff, so they'll like hey,
(36:55):
watch this person.
Oh interesting yeah, because Iwork in style so always be like
at the fitting room they're like, count what they have, tell
them to bring it back out likethey have people that they watch
, just so you know.
Alexis Schmoker (37:06):
Yeah, they watch you all right people.
Just so you know.
They watch still and they watch.
I stole sunglasses from Targetone time on accident.
Elizabeth Hert (37:13):
Well then, they must know that it was an
accident.
Alexis Schmoker (37:15):
They must yeah.
Elizabeth Hert (37:16):
Or maybe your face is like on a wall somewhere
and they're like watching you.
Alexis Schmoker (37:19):
Yeah, if she ever comes back in, no it was
when Prue was an infant and Istill think about it.
Elizabeth Hert (37:24):
That's fine but I was like this lady's so nice.
And then one time they werelike hey, watch her over there,
because she like she comes inlike every Sunday or something,
like gets away with stuff.
And I was like wait, what isthat?
That's my bff.
Like dang, she fooled me, yeahme either wow, that's a good
example.
Alexis Schmoker (37:44):
Yeah, yeah, man , it's so hard it is.
It is so hard, um some is.
It is so hard Some things Iobviously chat GPT'd to ask ask
chat GPT, what we should do.
Okay, so some teaching of ourkids.
Discernment, yes, is important.
So chat GPT told us to askquestions instead of blindly
(38:05):
following.
Okay, I thought that was good.
Yes, compare what they hear towhat they know about God's
character, so his love, hisgrace, his justice, his mercy.
So if someone's telling youbecause that's another thing
that I worry about too SometimesI think like, obviously my
husband's a public schoolteacher, we love public school,
our kids will probably go topublic school.
(38:28):
But then that brings on to, likewho's pouring into them?
Yeah, I don't know.
You know, she just left aChristian preschool and it like
was bomb.
It was so good, you know, and,like her two teachers there,
miss Christina and Miss Caitlin,just walked with Jesus and it
was so apparent and just thethings that she would come home
(38:50):
saying and talking about, likewas so beautiful.
It literally can make me cryright now.
Um, but that's something that Iworry about too is just like I
want them to know, like whoJesus is, what he stands for,
what he says and what he does.
And then, like, if someone'stelling you something that
you're like, ah, like, does itcome, does it align with what
God says?
(39:10):
And that can be true with us,with adults too Um, trusting the
Holy Spirit's prompting insideof you, just like you said with
Chan, um, a small voice thatsays, like this doesn't feel
right or this doesn't sound likelove or this does sound like
love, you know, like um, so justkind of like listening to the
Holy Spirit.
Another side note I waslistening to a podcast not too
(39:31):
long ago.
I think it was For the Girl.
Do you listen to For the Girlpodcast?
Okay, you need to.
It's these two girls.
They're moms now, but they'reboth named Mackenzie, and it's
Mack and Kins and they're supercute.
Yeah, it's so good and I thinkit's more towards girls in their
20s.
Okay, um, but I still listen tobecause I'm like practically in
my 20s too.
Elizabeth Hert (39:52):
Yeah, I still think um yeah so I think it's
also.
Alexis Schmoker (39:56):
It's for the girl and it's for me.
Yeah, too, you're the girl.
Um, I am the girl, but they hadone of their friends come on and
she was talking about how sheprays for her kids to like, feel
and hear the holy spirit andlike see them in dreams and she
says like they are so, like theyare not that far distance from
(40:17):
have been, like have been inheaven or with god and jesus,
like they're I mean, wow,there's 10 months out, like
iverson's, four months out, like.
So.
That was something that I likewrote on my notes in my phone,
because if not, I'll just forgetand like screenshot it so I'd
see it whenever I got out.
Elizabeth Hert (40:34):
I'm not going to forget this.
Alexis Schmoker (40:36):
Um, and so I started like actively praying
about it, like I rememberpraying about it right then, and
then, like I wrote it down inmy Bible, like in the front you
can see, like I have, like I'llwrite down like whenever I think
of things, um, just differentprayers, um.
but I started like reallypouring myself into praying over
that, and whenever I'd rememberI would just like stop and like
just say a quick prayer like,dear Lord, please, you know, let
(40:56):
my kids have dreams of you andvisions of you and feel you.
And then, not a week later,crew was sleeping on our floor,
like on the end of our bed, andshe woke up in the middle of the
night and she stood up and shewas like looking at something
and she said, okay, jesus.
And then she like crawled inbed with us and then fell back
asleep.
But it woke, jordan and I bothup and so we were like what?
(41:19):
and I hadn't told jordan this,yeah, and so in the morning,
jordan's the one that said likewho?
Are you like what you dreamabout.
Last night, like you woke upand you were like talking to
someone and she said Jesus.
And Jordan said what did he say?
And she said that he loves me.
And I'm like that is wild.
And then I told him likeactually I have been, I heard
that and I've been praying aboutthat and like I wrote that in
(41:44):
my Bible on 514, like wrote thatI wanted to pray for this and
everything, and then that was519 yeah, is that not wild?
And it was like I feel likethat's something that I was
praying over and like was kindof like I hope that they do this
.
And then it was the holy spiritbeing like hey, I know that you
don't need proof from me, butlike here's some legitimate
(42:05):
proof and especially likedealing with your littles too.
Elizabeth Hert (42:08):
Like how much more of like a love sign of love
, could that be like?
Hey, you're praying and it'sabout your littles and I just
want you to know.
Like confirmation, like likeI'm.
Alexis Schmoker (42:16):
I got you in all the areas.
Elizabeth Hert (42:18):
But like here's an example of like yeah, and
normally she sleeps on the couch.
Alexis Schmoker (42:22):
So it was like an odd thing that she had.
We had taken welder's cribapart and so like his crib
mattress was on the ground inher room so she brought it into
our room and slept on the floor.
So she never does that yeah, andthen that night, and then that
night, like we both woke up toit like so that was just kind of
crazy and cool.
So obviously, like I know, weall like pray for our kids all
the time, but it was just crazy.
(42:44):
I like tried to intentionallypray about that and then it came
up, just like you said, likeconfirmation.
It's so wild.
That is awesome.
Um, any anything else on thistopic that you want to talk
about, just like church hurtraising your kids, protecting
them.
Elizabeth Hert (42:59):
I mean, I guess, just in a reminder to myself
too, that like, yeah, it is,it's not God that did it, it's
not I mean cause I think thatstruggle too, like why would you
allow this to happen?
You know, but like understandingthat we have free will and
people make bad decisions.
But yeah, just me saying thisand recovering myself is like
(43:20):
Jesus didn't do that, even still, like I am tiptoeing into a
church and it's hard not to feellike the church as a whole.
You know, and that's not true.
You know, it was just asingular person you know so that
yeah, and then just raise yourkids to have a voice because,
that's going to be one of themost important things, I think,
(43:41):
is you can say no you can tellpeople like even if you didn't
say no in the in the moment,whatever it is, you came to us
later yeah, you came to us laterand said this was uncomfortable
and I didn't like this.
Alexis Schmoker (43:52):
Okay, we'll be your voice, you know.
So, yeah, and it doesn't haveto be like big or small, yeah,
like it doesn't matter what itis.
Elizabeth Hert (44:00):
My friend said this I didn't like this.
Okay, Well, yeah, how thiscould you could say them or
whatever.
Alexis Schmoker (44:12):
You know.
Yeah, I think responding withit too, because I don't know.
I feel like sometimes I thinkback when I was little and I
would tell my dad something thathe's just like a, a boisterous
person you know like just he'sitalian, he's stuck and he's
like, well, I'll go talk to himand I'm like, don't come on man,
like don't go.
Elizabeth Hert (44:23):
My mom's like, yes, I'm getting involved.
I'm like I just want you tolisten to me and not yeah yes,
oh.
Alexis Schmoker (44:29):
So I'm like I'm gonna have to be mindful of
that too, because I can be youknow, Jesus wants us to be slow
to speak.
But I am working on that, yeah,because I can be very fast to
speak.
And then later I'm like, whywould I say that?
Elizabeth Hert (44:42):
oh, dang it.
I was thinking about that onthe way over.
Here is like I'm just, I'veaccepted that I'm an awkward
person.
And it's that meme where it'slike you bet I'm gonna lay in
bed for the next 30 years andthink about that one awkward
thing I said to that one randomperson.
You know that's me.
Alexis Schmoker (44:56):
Yeah, oh, that's me too.
I think about literally all thetime.
If I've ever said anythingawkward to you, I promise you
I've thought about you multipletimes, multiple times.
Uh well, and then another thingthat he was kind of talking
about in the sermon Craig, orshell in that one sermon um, was
that like at the end he stoppedand like apologized, like if
this has happened to you, he'snot like saying like I'm not
(45:20):
trying to minuscule whathappened to you because it's
very big and it's very real, andlike, but just know that like
that is not the church, that'snot God, that was a person.
And then he said to like jesusgoes through and says hypocrite
in the bible, however many times.
Like woe is the hypocrite, um.
So jesus didn't like hypocrites, right either right.
Elizabeth Hert (45:43):
So that's that has been.
A big healing thing for me toois just seeing christians
walking through like one of mycousins like I can't.
She's just like a normal person, you know, and it's like but
loves jesus, and I've never feltlike judged by her.
I've never felt, you know, andit's just like she's the most
giving loving person, likeshe'll.
(46:04):
One time she was down visitingmy grandma, actually in the
neighborhood too, oh yeah, yeah,and she took.
She was like you guys want to gotarget me, took him, came back
and like bought them toys, notthat that's like, yeah, you know
, but it was just like that's sosweet like it's just like
everything she does is like togive you want to be like them I
see jesus in her you know andlike I've never once felt her
(46:25):
judge anyone.
Yeah, you know, like, even ifyou're like oh my gosh, this,
this person, and she's like ohwell, maybe it's this yeah, it
doesn't gossip, it doesn't.
Yeah, that's one of the mosthealings actually seeing the
Christian who doesn't walk outthe door and act differently.
Alexis Schmoker (46:39):
They're just themselves and they love Jesus
you know, yeah, that's healing,that is healing, that's good.
Okay, so let's jump into yourcreative side.
Uh, you describe yourself as acreative heart and you're free
spirit.
I totally see that in you.
Always, you've always been thatway, um, and I love watching
your magic through wooden, oki.
So how does creating whetherit's being crafts or decorating
(47:00):
or just dreaming about differentideas bring you back to
yourself in the middle ofmotherhood?
Elizabeth Hert (47:04):
Yeah, that's definitely like my form of me
time is like one reading, likeI've really getting into like
reading books yes and then justbeing creative like I.
I will always try to be like oh, I should try and sell this,
but jenny's like, just do itbecause it makes you relax, you
know, so it'll be like oh, Ithink I'm gonna learn how to
cross stitch, or I think I'mgonna learn.
We just built the girls beds,like I saw that so I was like we
(47:27):
can do that right it was a lotharder than I thought it would
be, but it was fun, likelearning how to do that and yeah
, so that just is always like my, my me time and like reminding
myself that I'm a person and notjust a mom Cause it's hard to
get lost in that, Like whenHolland was first born, I
remember feeling like I don'teven know what music I like
anymore.
You know, like there's just somany things that you get
(47:47):
consumed and like a kid and youwatch the kid shows and you
listen to kid music and it's fun.
But then you're like what do Ilike?
Alexis Schmoker (47:54):
what do I?
like yeah, so creating is alwayslike a a good downtime for me
yeah, I think that's soimportant to try and find
hobbies, because I'm the sameway, but, like when I first had
crew and honestly, even before Ihad kids, jordan would be like
what is your hobby?
And I'd be be like, well, youknow nursing, like I'm a nurse
and I love that, and he's likethat's your job, that's not a
(48:17):
hobby, like that's what you dofor work, and I'd be like, well,
I like to go to brunch with myfriends.
And he's like so you'd like toeat, which is also required.
I'm like I do love that, I loveto do that, I love to go to
brunch with friends, or coffeedates or something.
But yeah, since, like afterhaving crew and trying to like
(48:38):
find my own hobby, it's like nowI like to read and I guess
maybe that's it.
Elizabeth Hert (48:44):
Maybe I just keep switching.
Alexis Schmoker (48:46):
But it is important to have like do this
podcast.
Elizabeth Hert (48:48):
I like to do this podcast yes, yeah, this is
a hobby, this is a hobby.
Alexis Schmoker (48:52):
Yeah, yeah, it's a passion.
It is, it's a passion, and so Ithink just finding those things
that kind of bring you back toyourself, yeah, and I know you
do things for fun, but you doalso sell things, yes, yeah.
So at Wood, different thingsyou made, like the cutest little
cupcake toppers and cake topperfor that's my favorite thing to
do right now.
Elizabeth Hert (49:12):
It's like a couple of different ventures
like wooden signs and stuff.
And what did I do?
For?
I tried to make like baby signs, you know, like one month old
and stuff like that.
I was just not very active onsocial media.
Alexis Schmoker (49:24):
I think that's like you need to be like yeah,
but I've gotten better at it too.
Elizabeth Hert (49:29):
But, yeah, so the birthday stuff is my
favorite.
It's so cute.
Alexis Schmoker (49:32):
So if you have birthday parties coming up or
anything, um, reach out to Lizbecause she does a great job.
I'd love to yeah.
Well, is there anything elsethat you want to talk about?
Oh, my gosh, I don't think so.
Thank you, Thank you, yes,Thank you for being so open and
vulnerable with us today.
Your story is a reminder thatmotherhood isn't about
perfection.
It's about presence, resilienceand creating something
(49:54):
beautiful right in the middle ofthe mess.
I love seeing how you love yourgirls so fiercely, create
fearlessly and keep showing upfor your family and your faith,
even whenever it's hard.
And for anyone who's listeningand wants a little handmade
magic or just a dose of real momhonesty, go follow Elizabeth at
Wooden Oki.
That's at W-O-O-D-E-N-O-K-I-E.
(50:17):
That's on Instagram, and you'reon Facebook too right On
Facebook and remember mamas evenwhen you feel like you're
stumbling through.
Your love is shaping somethingwild and wonderful.
I'll also link those twosermons in the show notes too.
Those are great resources ofpeople who do know what they're
talking about to go listen andkind of just uh, make up your
own mind on things.
(50:37):
Uh, until next time, stayrooted, stay real, stay wild.
Guys, we love you.
Thank you again, Mama.
I'm so grateful that you tooktime out of your busy schedule
today to listen to Mama of theWild Crew podcast.
(50:58):
I'm Alexa Schmoker and I hopeyou love this conversation and
that it resonated with you.
Thank you so much for openingup your circle and letting us in
as we walk through this wildride of motherhood together.
Remember, in the chaos ofmotherhood, there is always joy
to be found, so keep looking inthose little moments that make
it all worth it.
Be sure to follow along onInstagram at mamaofthewildcrew
(51:25):
underscore podcast.
Please don't forget to like,subscribe and share our podcast.
I'd love to hear from you.
So comment, tag me, DM me, letme know what you think and let
me know what you'd love to hearfrom you.
So comment, tag me, DM me, letme know what you think and let
me know what you'd like to hearnext.
Mama, I am praying for you, Ilove you and I cannot wait to
see you next time.
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