Episode Transcript
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Alexis Schmoker (00:06):
Welcome to Mama
of the Wild Crew podcast, the
podcast where we embrace themessy, wild, beautiful journey
of motherhood together.
I'm your host, alexa Schmoker,mama of two beautiful kiddos,
wife, nurse and lover of Jesus.
Motherhood is full of hardmoments, unexpected chaos and
(00:27):
those days where you just reallydon't have it all together.
But in the midst of it all,there is so much joy.
On this podcast, we're divinginto the real, honest
conversations about motherhoodthe challenges, the triumphs and
everything in between.
We'll hear the stories ofincredible moms from all walks
(00:47):
of life, share wisdom, laughterand let's be real probably a few
tears, and we're going todiscover how to embrace the joy
in this chaos.
So, whether you're rocking ababy to sleep, folding that
never-ending pile of laundry orsneaking away for a quiet moment
with your coffee, welcome mama.
You're not alone here.
(01:07):
Hit, subscribe and join me onthis wild adventure of
motherhood.
I can't wait to do this journeywith you.
Okay, hello, hello, okay, notyet.
Mallory Moseby (01:21):
Hello, okay,
not yet I'm going to clear my
hair out.
Hello, hello, hello, helloHello.
Alexis Schmoker (01:34):
Okay we good.
Okay, we're good.
Okay, hey, mamas, and welcomeback to Mama of the Wild Crew
Podcast, the space where we holdthe sacred, the chaotic and the
beautiful parts of motherhoodall at once.
Today's conversation is onethat will stay with you.
I'm sitting down with MalloryMosby, a mama to two beautiful
girls, a woman that has walkedthrough profound loss and still
(01:54):
chooses joy.
Mallory's husband, harrison, wasa firefighter and the love of
her life.
Through pregnancy, delivery,the newborn stage with their
second daughter and raising atoddler, she stood by his side
through a long and brave fightwith cancer.
Since Harrison's passing,mallory has navigated motherhood
, grief, faith and healing withstrength that can only be
(02:17):
described as God-given.
She's learned how to walk withJesus in a whole new way, and
she's fiercely committed toraising her daughters, who know
how loved they are by both herand by their God.
In this conversation, we talkabout what it means to keep
going, to hold sorrow and joy inthe same hand and to trust God
(02:37):
even when that path feelsunclear.
Mallory is not only a beautifulwoman, but an incredible mama.
She's also a sweet friend, andone of the things that makes
this conversation so sweet isthat our little girls are also
sweet friends too.
It's such a gift to walkthrough motherhood alongside one
another, and I'm so honored toshare her story with you today.
This is for the women out therewho are in the waiting for the
(03:00):
mama who's navigating the achefor the heart that needs to hear
you're not alone, so let's divein Hi.
Mallory Moseby (03:06):
Mallory, hi,
thanks for having me.
It's such a blessing to be heretoday and to talk to you.
So Harrison and I met back in2018 and our love story just
took off Like we just fell inlove quick.
We got married and we had bothof our girls quick.
So we just always said, likeour love story, just it just was
so quick.
(03:27):
So we have two little girls,collins and Grace Lee Collins is
three, grace is two, justturned two and we always said
that Collins was our strengthand Grace was our hope.
Collins got us through so muchwhen we because we had just had
her when he got diagnosed withcancer um, so she really we felt
like she gave us a lot ofstrength to keep fighting.
(03:49):
Um, and then grace was our hope.
She gave us so much hope forjust she was such a sweet
blessing, um, and we had her atthe perfect timing and god has
the perfect timing foreverything because he knew we
needed those two sweet littlegirls.
Um, this year we would havecelebrated our fifth anniversary
, so we would have been togetherseven years and this would have
(04:11):
been our fifth anniversary thisOctober.
So that's going to be a littlehard just knowing that he's not
here with me, but I'm thankfulthat his legacy gets lived on
through my girls, that hislegacy gets lived on through my
girls.
So that's just a peek into ourstory in my life right now.
So now I'm a newly single,widowed mom, still working
(04:36):
through the grieving process,and each day is different.
We're just taking it day by day, living moment for moment and
just trying to figure out how tonavigate through this life by
myself and with my girls, andthank goodness for the grace of
God, because I'm definitelylearning how to do this.
It's definitely a challenge,right For sure.
There's no handbook.
(04:56):
No, there's no handbook.
Alexis Schmoker (04:57):
There's no
handbook for this.
Mallory Moseby (04:59):
Man, if there
was, I'd be doing good, yeah,
but we're definitely learning.
Alexis Schmoker (05:06):
Yeah, I'd be
doing good.
Yeah, but we're definitelylearning.
Mallory Moseby (05:07):
Yeah, well, we
kind of talked about your mom
fail before we went into this.
Alexis Schmoker (05:09):
Yes, and so I
want to dive into that because
that's kind of like part of thelearning, like you're kind of
talking about like trying toalmost play both roles a little
bit.
I am so um, I got to hit youwith my mom.
Fail first, because our kids goto the same school and so mine
has to do with our school sothey had their end of the year
program.
You know, and crew kept tellingme that it was.
(05:30):
They were singing grand oldflag.
Do your girls sing grand oldflag?
all the time, all the time, Idon't know, so so, I sing it now
too right where it's I love itit's catchy.
it's catchy.
But she kept telling me like no, we're performing Old Flag and
I thought they must be, becauseshe knows this word like front,
back, sideways.
She knows every single word ofthis song.
So she has a red, white andblue dance outfit.
(05:53):
So she told me she was going towear that and I'm like yeah, of
course, like Grand Old Flag.
So not only did she wear that,like we all dressed in red,
white and blue.
Mallory Moseby (06:02):
Stop, like we
all dressed in red, white and
blue.
Stop, like I took off.
Alexis Schmoker (06:04):
We even texted,
like my parents and Jordan's
parents, like hey, we're wearingred, white and blue.
Crew's going to be singingGrand Old Flag, Stop.
So we get there.
She is in her patriotic danceoutfit.
The whole family is looking red, white and blue.
We're ready.
Mallory Moseby (06:23):
They did not
sing your grand old flag I know
for sure they did not sing it atcolin's program.
Alexis Schmoker (06:29):
No, it was it
was so cute, it's like three
songs.
But then after, like, we werelike, oh, you didn't sing grand
old flag, and she was like, no,not this time it was like smiley
you know just all about it.
But yeah, so we just we senther in her dance outfit.
Everyone else was like in cutespring dresses.
Mallory Moseby (06:46):
You know, she's
in a full-fledged dance costume
yeah, well, I remember seeingher that day and she looked
pretty darn cute.
She did, that's all thatmatters.
Alexis Schmoker (06:55):
She had a bow
on and a smile on her face, so
she was good like cute, but Iwas dying because, yeah, the
whole time sitting there we wereall like looking at the program
, like looking at each other,like I don't see grand old fly
she tricked you she did, butanyway yeah, tell us your oh
gosh.
Mallory Moseby (07:09):
I don't even
know if I should say it on here
you don't have to, it's bad, youdon't have to.
So the other day I was mowingthe lawn and let me just give
you a backstory.
Um, this was like a hour-longevent.
I was, I went to go get on thelawnmower.
The lawnmower wouldn't start.
I had to learn how to jump thelawnmower.
I was just, I had never jumpedanything.
(07:29):
So here I am with the car andthe lawnmower trying to jump the
lawnmower.
Alexis Schmoker (07:34):
I wouldn't even
have thought to do that.
Mallory Moseby (07:36):
Listen, I'm
just connecting the cords,
waiting to see if they spark,and if they sparked I'm like
it's the wrong one.
So I finally kind of get itstarting to turn.
And then I realized thelawnmower is out of gas.
So I had to go get gas, cameback, put gas in it and went to
go start it again Still dead.
So then I jumped it.
Well, an hour went by and thenfinally I was able to get on the
(07:58):
lawnmower and start moving.
Well, I'm a single mom and gotto entertain my kids Can't just
leave them out in the backyardbecause they will run out and
open the gate, let the dog out.
So put them on the lawnmowerwith me.
Well, as we were mowing,collins pushed it's a zero turn
(08:20):
lawnmower and Collins pushed thebars forward and Grace's toe
fell in between the hinge of thebar and the lawnmower and
sliced her toe.
It was bad.
And so she was screaming on thelawnmower and sliced her toe.
Oh, it was bad.
And so she was screaming on thelawnmower and crying.
And I just looked down and allI see is blood everywhere and
I'm like, okay, don't pass out,it's going to be okay.
Yeah, when you're, it'ssomething about it when your
kids are hurt when it's your kid.
Yeah, I mean it really hurts, um, but I got her taken care of
(08:43):
and the toe is okay, but shedefinitely sliced her toe.
So I learned a big lesson thatday Do not move with your kids.
Alexis Schmoker (08:48):
Yes, man,
that's rough.
But we were talking about likeyou're having to navigate, doing
these things that you've neverdone before, like by your, not
only like for the first time,but with your kids.
Mallory Moseby (09:00):
Yes.
It's definitely definitelysomething new for me and
something that is hard because Ihave to ask for help a lot, um,
especially for my parents.
My parents are picking up myslack that just whatever I need,
they're there and like withinminutes, whatever I need, I call
them and then they're there.
So that's been a blessing forme.
(09:21):
But just asking for help withfor things that I've never
needed help for has been hardfor me.
Alexis Schmoker (09:27):
Yeah, that is
hard, and I mean your parents
are amazing, like I met your momfirst before I met you, and I'm
like they're just so wonderful.
Mallory Moseby (09:35):
My mom called
me.
She's like you got to meet thisgirl.
Her daughter's name is CrewPearl.
Alexis Schmoker (09:39):
And I was like
oh, my goodness, how cute.
Well, I didn't realize thatthose were your girls.
Yes, like until I think I sawher post something with you in
it and I was like wait a second,I didn't realize.
Yeah, yeah, so how cool.
Okay, well, I want to get intotalking about you running
because you just finished a bigrun, which I was like that is
crazy Way to go, so incredible,incredible.
(10:00):
So what did that experience meanto you, physically, emotionally
, even spiritually?
How has running become a partof your healing journey and have
there been moments?
Mallory Moseby (10:10):
while running,
where you felt God's presence,
or even Harrison's.
So Harrison wanted to run amarathon when he beat cancer.
So that was our goal togetheris that we were going to run it,
whether I had to push him in awheelchair or he was able to run
it by himself and I was goingto run it with him.
So I just knew after he passedthat that was something I wanted
to do.
Now, in my head, I planned ontraining more.
(10:32):
That's not the case.
That's not what happened.
Alexis Schmoker (10:35):
Well, it's not
realistic in this time, I know.
Mallory Moseby (10:38):
How do you,
where's your time to do that?
It was hard.
So I was running most of mymiles on the treadmill or not
even running at all.
So, like the whole last monthbefore the marathon, I hardly
even ran anything like maybe acouple miles.
So that was hard because when Istarted running I was like, oh,
I feel good.
And then when I hit mile 20, Ihit a major wall and I just I
(11:01):
was like, okay, I'm going tohave to walk some.
So I started walking but I'mpretty sure I asked every single
cop that was on the side of theroad how much, how many miles
left I had.
And they were like five, four,and I'm like, are you kidding me
?
This is never ending.
But it was good because I wantedto challenge myself, because I
(11:21):
knew how hard it was forHarrison to um go through like
his cancer battle and how muchpain he had.
And not that I not that thatpain was anywhere close to it,
but just feeling the pain and umgetting to feel God's presence
through that marathon, it justreminded me like that God is
sovereign and that he is justfaithful and, um, he was gonna
(11:45):
help me push through and, um,get me through that race.
So all I wanted to do wasfinish and I did yeah, wow,
that's amazing.
Alexis Schmoker (11:52):
When you said
like mile 20, I'm like my sister
and I is cool for the summersto run a mile hey, that's good,
just like 20 miles, how so?
How long is the whole marathon?
26.
Holy cow, that's so cool,though I didn't know the
backstory to that.
Mallory Moseby (12:08):
Yes, so that's
why I ran it.
Didn't run it.
I mean, I always said I wouldlike to run one, didn't ever
think I really would.
Right, I was good at like twomiles, but no, wow, that's
insane.
Were you an athlete growing?
Alexis Schmoker (12:22):
up, I did run.
Mallory Moseby (12:23):
Yes, I did run
in high school, okay, and I
cheered.
Oh, you cheered, okay, cool.
Where did you go to college?
Well, I went to multipledifferent colleges, same so.
Alexis Schmoker (12:31):
I went to.
Mallory Moseby (12:32):
RSU ran there
for like a year.
Then I went to Wichita Stateand then Harris and I met back
at TCC, or like we saw eachother in passing and then I went
to OU for dental hygiene.
Alexis Schmoker (12:46):
Cool, okay, so
kind of, my parents went to
Wichita State I was born inWichita, oh really yes and then
I of course did classes at TCC.
I think it's like a rite ofpassage, maybe for kids around
here.
Mallory Moseby (12:58):
you know Might
as well.
Alexis Schmoker (12:59):
I wish I would
have done more.
Yeah, now that I'm payingstudent loans, yeah, but then I
also want to owe you, so so, hey, yeah, kind of the same.
Yes, so you guys like walked byeach other, you're like oh,
he's cute.
Mallory Moseby (13:09):
I was walking
up the stairs, he's walking down
the stairs and we made eyecontact and then, once I got to
the top and he got to the bottom, we turned around and it was
like it was like in the movieswhere you see like the um
couples passing each other, likewhen they like each other.
That's literally what it waslike.
Oh my gosh.
So what campus was it at?
Oh gosh, I don't know Um.
Were you like downtown?
No, no.
What's the one out by Academy,maybe like 91st, oh, um that one
(13:34):
.
Alexis Schmoker (13:34):
Okay, I don't
know what it's called, but I
know what you're talking about,like 91st and 169.
Yeah, yeah.
Mallory Moseby (13:39):
Everyone's
going to be like walking the
stairs now, yeah.
Looking at each other.
Looking at each other.
Can he be the?
Alexis Schmoker (13:46):
one, yeah, is
this him.
Mallory Moseby (13:48):
Okay.
Alexis Schmoker (13:49):
Well, that's
beautiful.
I love that.
Okay, I want to kind of getinto like caring love, grief and
faith all in the same hand.
So you've walked throughsomething unimaginable, like we
said raising your toddler,carrying your second daughter.
What did that season teach youabout love, endurance and faith?
You shared that yourrelationship with God changed.
Um, like, you always had arelationship with God, but this
(14:12):
is like pushed it to the nextlevel, deeper, more personal.
Um.
What has walking with Godlooked like since then,
especially in the still thequiet moments of motherhood and
the grief?
Mallory Moseby (14:22):
Okay, well, um,
as my uh like, as we were going
through our cancer journey, um,so my love for God, just it
just grew in, my faith grew Um.
I always had a relationshipwith God, but it I I never had,
um, I guess, a moment in my lifewhere it would I just solely
(14:44):
relied on God.
I never had that just pivotalmoment where it was like, okay,
god, like I need you, like I wassaved when I was younger and I
was rededicated in my life whenI was 18.
But I never, I guess, fullygrasped it meant to like fully
(15:05):
trust God, um, and okay, we'regoing to cut that.
Okay, we good, perfect, okay,so okay, okay, as my love and um
, okay, there we go, sorry.
Alexis Schmoker (15:22):
No, you're fine
, that's what it's for.
Mallory Moseby (15:27):
I don't even
okay.
Um.
So I always had a relationshipwith God, Um, but it wasn't, as
I guess, it was more of a justI'll come to you when I need you
or I'll just pray at night.
It wasn't a?
Um true relationship, becausein a relationship it takes two
(15:49):
and um.
So as we were going through thecancer journey, my love for God
just um deepened and um myfaith grew and also, like
through that um, my love forHarrison grew too.
Um, I had never loved him more,and it was the more I loved God
.
It was like, the more I lovedHarrison, the more I love my
(16:11):
girls.
Alexis Schmoker (16:12):
Um, so the love
for my family just grew
tremendously Um yeah, that likegives me chills, though, because
I I heard one time someone putit as like whenever you pray to
God, sometimes we're thinkingabout praying like for ourselves
or for other people, but thenyou forget like this is their
creator, Like this is thecreator of your husband, this is
(16:34):
the creator of your girls, Likeno one knows them more
intimately than God.
And so right.
Mallory Moseby (16:39):
And so now it
is.
And so now, um, I, I have arelationship with God, a true
relationship, and I'm in tryingto be in constant prayer
throughout the day and justgoing to him before I make
decisions.
And, um, because I want to dowhat he has called me to do.
(17:00):
I want my girls to be raised byum, a godly Christian mom who
is abiding and walking withJesus every day.
That's important to me.
But also, just pouring God'slove into them has been
tremendous for me.
Just because I don't know if Iwould have done that.
If, like, yes, I would havetaken them to church and I would
(17:24):
have read the Bible to them,but I don't think I would have
been as intentional with it aswhat I am now the Bible to them,
but I don't think I would havebeen as intentional with it as
what I am now.
Yeah, and so that's that's likebeen the biggest change for me
is that everything I do, I tryto be intentional with it.
Alexis Schmoker (17:38):
Yeah, no,
that's so good.
I can feel that too.
Like I feel like kind of thesame way.
I was raised in the church, butit wasn't until, like I feel
like I truly got convicted.
I guess, in a sense that I sawlike holy cow.
Yeah, this is the reason that,like I am here, right Is to make
disciples out of these kids,Right, you know.
Mallory Moseby (18:00):
And I didn't
want to just go through the
motions and I feel like beforecancer, we were just going
through the motions of everydaylife and, yes, I love Jesus and
I did, I truly loved Jesusbefore.
But now it's different, likeI'm trying to be purposeful and
live my life with purpose and beintentional in everything that
I do and not just take each dayfor granted and live by the
(18:24):
moment and live by the day andjust see what God, like, has in
store for us.
Alexis Schmoker (18:30):
Yeah, I was
trying to prepare for this a
little bit this morning and Ilistened to a podcast with Annie
F Downs have you ever listenedto her?
That sounds fun.
Well, she had Maddie Jackson on, which is Alan Jackson's
daughter, and so she lost herhusband tragically, like not
long after they got married, andso she was kind of saying the
(18:51):
same thing, um that you weresaying that she, you know,
prayed.
She prayed at night, she prayedin the morning, like they went
to church.
She believed in.
God.
And then she said somethingthat I was like oh, that makes
sense to me.
She said like it went frombeing this formal relationship
to being in relationship she.
She described it as like itwent from like writing someone a
(19:11):
formal letter at night to likesnapchatting them all day long
kind of thing and I'm likethat's a good practical way to
put it into words, right.
I'm like that.
It's that change of like.
It's not a formal conversationlike that is just who you talk
to and who you go to like I.
Mallory Moseby (19:27):
I truly feel
like before I was like, oh yeah,
like God's here, like I'mtalking to him, praying to him,
but now it's like, oh no, god'sright here by my side, like, hey
, friend, like he's right here,yeah.
So, and I'm like, hey, god, youtired of me yet.
Alexis Schmoker (19:42):
Like I would
show her, I'm like.
Mallory Moseby (19:44):
God, you still
remember me.
I'm still praying hereno-transcript read that you have
.
Alexis Schmoker (19:57):
Yeah, okay, I
want to read it now because
after listening to this podcast,I had heard another one that
she came on.
That sounds fun like not thatlong ago, and so then I found
this one that she had done maybea year or so ago or a couple
years ago.
It was a little bit in the past.
Mallory Moseby (20:12):
Yeah, my friend
sent it to me last year.
Alexis Schmoker (20:13):
Really yeah, so
you liked it.
Mallory Moseby (20:14):
It was really
good.
Yeah, you should read it.
I will.
Alexis Schmoker (20:17):
I will, because
part of it too, I was going
through it.
I'm like okay, I don't evenknow how to say this Like that's
(20:37):
just not what I picture.
I don't picture like this younghot mom.
Oh my gosh.
You know what I?
Mallory Moseby (20:41):
mean, yeah, and
I like I don't like I say it
sometimes, but not all the timebut I'm like, oh, I'm a single
mom, but I'm a single widowedmom and that's still grieving
and working through this andtrying to figure out how to do
life, and it's not somethingthat I ever imagined for myself.
I never, imagined, I mean.
I'm not growing old withHarrison.
(21:02):
I mean, I was going to havegray hair, I was only going to
get married once, but I don'tknow.
God had a different plan.
And so just saying that it kindof gives me strength, because I
know that in that God's goingto do something through this
Right, so he's going totransform this situation and, um
it, all the glory goes to himthrough, like through this I
(21:26):
don't know what's there we go.
Yeah.
Alexis Schmoker (21:29):
No, okay, but I
do like that though, because
that's kind of what she wassaying too, and obviously you've
read the book so you probablyknow more than I do.
But she said, like she,whenever we talk about having
the close relationship with God,like that she would go to God
and she's like, oh, god knowshow I feel about the word.
Mallory Moseby (21:42):
Like God knows
how I feel about it.
Like he's had to work in me tolike rewire that meaning to me.
Like God's really transformedmy heart over the past couple
years and just really changed myheart, because now it's instead
of oh yeah, I'm going to prayfor them.
It's like God, I'm going topray for me and my heart and
(22:03):
like, if I'm upset with someone,I'm like, okay, god changed the
way I'm thinking about it.
Like change my heart?
Um, like, how can I bedifferent and how can it be more
like you?
And so I feel like that's mywhole perspective on this
relationship with God and um,who I am has changed because of
Harrison and cancer.
And just seeing his faith andum seeing God change Harrison,
(22:25):
just like strengthen his faithand um, it's definitely setting
setting the stone for how Iparent with my daughters.
Alexis Schmoker (22:35):
Yeah Well,
absolutely, and that kind of
goes into.
What I wanted to talk about toowas motherhood with the sacred
calling.
So you hit on this a little bit.
But you said, your greatest,greatest mission now is to raise
disciples to pour.
Jesus into your girls.
What does that look like inyour home right now, and how has
your own childlike faith grownas you witnessed theirs?
Mallory Moseby (22:54):
Watching my
daughters just have so much joy
after losing their dad.
I know that they didn't getmuch time with him, but they
still knew him, they still havea love for him and they still
have that connection with himand I will always pour Jesus
into their hearts and let themknow who their dad was and talk
about Harrison.
Um, so that's important to me,um, but also, just, I mean,
(23:20):
we're not perfect, um, but oneof the things I try to do every
night is that we'll get on ourhands and knees and pray.
Um, no, it's not always likethat.
Sometimes they're sitting on mylap and but we're trying to be
intentional with our prayer and,um, during that time, I'll talk
about jesus with them and um,just spend time with them and
let them ask questions, like theother day, um colin's, after we
(23:42):
prayed.
She goes mom, I want to seepictures of hell.
I was like colin's.
It's eight o'clock, sister,we're going to bed.
No, I'm going to see picturesof hell.
I was like Collins, so I had toget on Google and pull up some
pictures of just Googled hell,because she was, she was not
going to sleep without seeingpictures of hell.
And as soon as I showed her shegoes.
(24:04):
Oh no, we don't want to gothere.
No, we don't.
No we do not, we do not want togo there.
Grace needs to know Jesusbecause she doesn't want to go
to hell, and so I think, justletting them see like a glimpse
of, like what life really is andthat you, we, were called to
serve our savior and we want to,we want to go to heaven and we
(24:26):
want to be, um, like disciplesof Jesus, and I'm just really
trying to pour that into theirlittle hearts at such a young
age, just so that they can bewitnesses to others and their
little friends, because noteveryone gets a chance to know
Jesus like they do Right,absolutely, and we talked a
(24:47):
little bit before too.
Alexis Schmoker (24:48):
But, like we
said, our kids go to the same
little preschool and that hasbeen just the biggest godsend it
has been.
They're amazing.
Mallory Moseby (25:01):
Amazing.
They pour into my girls, theypour into me.
I mean, they are just as soonas I walk in the door.
They're smiling, they're wavingto me, telling me good job,
asking me if I need help.
I mean they are awesome.
Alexis Schmoker (25:08):
Yes, absolutely
.
So definitely like buildingthat community around your kids
too, because it's so hard to doit I mean, it's hard to do it by
yourself, but also just knowingthat there's other people
surrounding them like that arepouring that love into them,
that's awesome, okay, so we'regoing to talk kind of a hard
conversation.
Mallory Moseby (25:27):
I feel like it
is.
Alexis Schmoker (25:31):
I'm trying not
to cry during it, but it's okay,
it's okay.
Whenever I was listening toyour stuff, I was like crying.
Jordan's like what's wrong withyou?
I'm like nothing.
Mallory Moseby (25:37):
I just learned
how to send my voice over the
phone.
I was so excited I didn't knowthat was a thing.
Alexis Schmoker (25:43):
Oh, yeah, yeah,
a lot of times I'll send voice
recordings because I drive a lotfor work and so people like
text me and I'll like send avoice recording back and I know
they're probably like what inthe world I love it.
Mallory Moseby (25:53):
Send them to me
.
It's so easy, right.
Alexis Schmoker (25:56):
Um, okay, so
we're going to talk about.
There are women listening rightnow, whether it's like young
widows, single moms, olderwidows who are just sitting in
loneliness praying for what'snext and maybe feeling tired of
waiting.
What would you say to her andwhat?
Mallory Moseby (26:16):
does it look
like for you to keep trusting
and praying just one more time?
So this is a hard question forme.
Um, so a couple of months afterHarrison passed, I started
praying that God just placessomeone in my life.
Um, I, it took me a long timeto get to that spot where I
wanted to remarry and to dateagain.
Um, it was something Harrisonand I talked about before he
(26:36):
passed and he always said yes, Iwant you to remarry.
Um, like, please, the girls,the girls need someone here with
them.
And um, I was like, but no, Ican't, I can't even think about
it.
I would get so mad at him.
But I'm thankful that we hadthose hard conversations, just
because I don't have guilt forthat now.
So God's really really movedthrough my heart with this,
(27:01):
because I didn't think I wouldget to this point where I want
to date, where I want to remarry.
But now it's like okay, god,I've been praying that you play
someone in my life for over ayear because it's lonely.
It is so lonely, like at night,just not I, all I talk to is
toddlers.
Yeah, so I go home or I wake up, go to work, come home, get the
(27:22):
girls and we'll go home andit's just me and the girls at
home and it gets lonely and thegirls are missing.
I know that they want a dad andwhen we're seeing like with my
brother and my nephews, likethey long for a relationship
like that, um, I can see it allover them.
They want a dad to pick them upand to throw them in the air,
(27:42):
just like my brother does withmy nephews.
But I often catch myself likeGod, I'm tired of praying this.
I prayed this for a year and Idon't want to pray it again,
just like the other day.
He was like just pray it onemore time.
So I prayed and I know that Godis going to answer my prayer,
(28:03):
um, on the perfect like with hisperfect timing, um, and that
this man will be a godly man andserve and lead our family well,
um.
But also it's been a prayerthat God just places someone in
my life and I don't have to dateand I wouldn't usually, I
wouldn't say that on here, but Iwant people to know because
(28:24):
when it happens, I want them toknow it's from God, like that
relationship is from God and God.
I know he's going to do thatand answer that prayer for me.
Alexis Schmoker (28:33):
Yeah.
Mallory Moseby (28:34):
But it's just
hard in the waiting.
Right, it's so hard and I wantit to be.
I want people to know that if Iwere to remarry and or were to
date again, that that thatwouldn't replace like who
Harrison was and wouldn'treplace like um any like.
(28:58):
He's a part of us, right, andthe girls will always know him
and we'll talk about him andthey'll always love their dad.
Alexis Schmoker (29:03):
Right, and the
girls will always know him and
will talk about him and they'llalways love their dad, right,
yeah.
Mallory Moseby (29:07):
I literally
cannot even Definitely going to
cry.
Alexis Schmoker (29:10):
No, that's okay
, Like fathom, just having those
hard conversations too with him.
But like you said I'm glad thatyou did yeah, because that's
things that.
Mallory Moseby (29:19):
It's just, this
is such a hard conversation
because it's like when is theright time?
Yeah, but we'll never know theright time.
Alexis Schmoker (29:26):
God's just
going to.
Mallory Moseby (29:27):
God's just
going to place, place that
person in my life when the timeis right and it's hard not to
just like, okay, god, like let'sjust rush to it, let's skip all
this, this hard stuff in in thevalley, and he's like no, slow
down, I'm teaching you and I'mI'm learning so much in the
waiting, even though the waitingis so hard, and it's definitely
(29:51):
.
It's definitely making me havesome perseverance.
Teaching me, yeah, resilience,yes oh, man.
Alexis Schmoker (29:59):
And are there
other like groups or people that
you've connected with, or isthere anything out there like
for community, other moms thatare walking through the same
thing as you?
Or, to be honest, with you?
Mallory Moseby (30:13):
I'm not really
sure.
I'm just thankful for my, myfamily and my I have like four
really good friends that theytwo of them got me through so
much last year and they werejust there Um, they came over to
my house on the like I hadn'teven answered my phone, um, on
the year of Harrison's passingand they just showed up and,
(30:33):
just having two faithful friends, that prayed for me.
And then I have two olderfriends um that are that are
good um, that just pray for me,and one of them's kind of
walking through the same thingwith me.
Alexis Schmoker (30:46):
So I do have
her um, and then I have some
good mentors in my life rightnow good, yeah, because I'm like
that would be so hard and Imean it's probably hard to like
start that conversation withpeople, and then also people,
just start it with you right, Iknow because everyone's just
kind of like walking on oneggshells, Like what are we
saying here?
Yeah, Like are you good, I'mgood.
(31:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, I'msure it's sometimes that you
want to talk about it, yeah, oryou don't want to talk about it.
Mallory Moseby (31:11):
And I do.
I'm I'm open about pretty mucheverything because I feel like
God's gotten me through so muchand I'm just talking about
things has helped me.
So I'm pretty open abouttalking about whatever, just
because it helps me.
Alexis Schmoker (31:25):
Yeah Well,
absolutely Well.
If anyone listening knows anygodly men out there, send them
my way send them her way.
Yeah, we don't want any of thatnonsense.
Maybe we need to do like theycan send in, send in an
application and then your momcan go on a date with them first
.
Mallory Moseby (31:40):
Oh gosh and
weed it out, oh gosh.
I don't know about that.
Alexis Schmoker (31:45):
Okay, maybe we
should do my brothers that's
good, yeah, yes, go on a datewith your brothers.
They're pretty, they're prettytough.
Mallory Moseby (31:56):
Yeah, well,
that'll, that'll weed out all of
that nonsense, because whenHarrison showed up to my
parents' house for the firsttime to pick me up, my brothers
were.
I mean, they gave him a hardtime, so how many?
Alexis Schmoker (32:05):
brothers do you
have?
I have two, two brothers.
Okay, are you the youngest, I'mthe oldest, you're the oldest.
I am Okay yeah, okay yeah.
So I don't have brothers and soit's been kind of funny
watching like Crew and Wilderand wondering relationship will
be like, because I didn't growup with any boys.
Mallory Moseby (32:22):
Well, my
brothers are my best friends.
Like I love them.
We're so close.
Um, yeah, whoever.
Alexis Schmoker (32:28):
whoever God
places in my life they'll have
to meet my brothers first.
There we go.
Well, listen here, that's,that's going to be what happens.
Okay, so you said something sopowerful whenever you sent your
voice clip.
Oh yeah, yes, that you have twochoices, that you can either be
bitter or you can choose joy.
Um, what helps you keepchoosing joy when the ache feels
(32:49):
heavy again?
And what does that hope looklike for you in this chapter of
your story?
Mallory Moseby (32:54):
So, um, I think
about this daily.
Um, I think about the momentthat Harrison passed, um, just
when my like, I feel likeeverything's going wrong, like
the lawnmower situation, or theother day I flooded my laundry
room with my washer, and it'slike things like that.
I'm like God, everything hasgone wrong today, like what else
(33:15):
, like what else can happen andsomething will go wrong again.
But it's that moment, whenHarrison went to be with Jesus,
he took his last breath.
That gives me so much hope andso that reminds me like okay,
this life is not for us, likewe're here for one purpose and
that's to serve Jesus and to um,be disciples and to make
disciples.
(33:35):
And so that gives, like the joyfrom the Lord and the joy for
them.
The Lord, like is my strengthand that keeps me going each day
, because I could choose to bebitter and I could choose to,
like spiral down that path ofjust madness and why, why, god?
(33:55):
Like, why did you have to takeHarrison?
But knowing that there waspurpose in it and that, like
there's a, like a bigger reasonwhy here's someone to be with
Jesus, gives me hope because Iknow that God's going to provide
for me and he will give mestrength and, um, when I just
(34:17):
totally surrender everything, itI have the joy, like I have the
peace and that's only comingfrom the Lord.
Yeah, and that's taking me awhile, because I have battled
with anxiety, like this pastyear, because I want to control
things.
I'm a really bad control freak,me too, and I've had to learn
how to completely surrender.
(34:38):
Like the other day I was likeLord, if it's not for me, if
it's not from you, take it fromme because I don't want it.
It causes so much anxiety whenI just try to control everything
and I don't want that in mylife.
And so I feel like when Icompletely surrender it to God,
I have, I have that immense joy.
That is like flowing through myheart and it's like nothing can
(35:01):
like take that away, likeyou're gonna have it, even going
through the sadness, becausegod is, god is there with you
and you're letting him movethrough your heart yeah, and you
had kind of said too, like youcan be sad and you can have joy,
like it's not one or the other.
Alexis Schmoker (35:18):
Yes, it
coexists.
Mallory Moseby (35:20):
Like days are
hard for me, um, and I'll wake
up and I'm I'm like, okay, it'sgonna be a good day.
And then I just get hit withthis grief and I'm like, okay,
god, like how am I supposed toget through the day?
But it's like he provides.
Like my girls will walk in andsay, mommy, I love you, or I'll
have a friend that will say, hey, god, please show my heart.
(35:40):
Today I'm gonna pray for you.
Just like those little glimpsesof God, like like you're still
there, like people are, like Ihave friends that are praying,
and it just reminds me that Godis still faithful and he's still
there and he hasn't forgottenme and that, whatever I'm going
through now, I'm going tocontinue to get through it,
because God is giving me thestrength to yeah, wow, I, you
(36:04):
are just like so awesome though.
Alexis Schmoker (36:06):
I'm so glad
that we got to do this.
Mallory Moseby (36:07):
I am so
thankful that I got to this has
been so much fun.
Alexis Schmoker (36:10):
I know, is
there anything else that you
want to talk about or say, orsay to anyone out there, like
going through the cancer journey, whether it's them going
through it themselves, theirhusband, their spouse, their
family, you know, like littlepearls of wisdom.
Mallory Moseby (36:26):
Cancer is
lonely, it um you feel like
you're alone, but um, if youdon't know Jesus, um turn to him
, because it I wouldn't be whereI am today without the love of
Christ and um just having Jesusfirst in my life, and we would
not have gotten through what wewent through without God.
Alexis Schmoker (36:47):
Yeah, Well,
mallory, thank you so much for
sharing your story with such rawgrace and courage.
Your words are a reminder thateven in our deepest pain, we are
held, that faith doesn't meanthings are easy.
It means we're never walkingalone.
To every mama, listeningwhether you're navigating grief,
raising your little one solo ortrying to trust God in the
(37:10):
waiting.
May this episode remind youthat strength often looks like
showing up even with shaky hands, that joy is still possible and
hope is still alive.
And to the widows or singlemamas out there, your story
matters.
You are seen and you are notforgotten, not by God, not from
us, not from your friends.
People love you, they'repraying for you and you are
(37:30):
doing holy hard, beautiful work.
Until next time, mama, staywild, stay tender and keep
choosing joy.
Mallory Moseby (37:36):
Yay, we did it,
we did it.
Alexis Schmoker (38:04):
We did it, mama
.
Mama, I am so grateful that youtook time out of your busy
schedule today to listen to mamaof the wild crew podcast.
I'm alexa schmoker and I hopeyou love this conversation and
that it resonated with you.
Thank you so much for openingup your circle and letting us in
as we walk through this wildride of motherhood together.
Remember, in the chaos ofmotherhood, there's always joy
(38:27):
to be found, so keep looking inthose little moments that make
it all worth it.
Be sure to follow along onInstagram at mama of the wild
crew underscore podcast.
Please don't forget to like,subscribe and share our podcast.
I'd love to hear from you, socomment, tag me, dm me, let me
know what you think and let meknow what you'd like to hear
next.
Mama, I am praying for you.
(38:49):
I love you and I cannot wait tosee you next time.