(Un)afraid: A Journey into Self-Discovery and Mature Masculinity

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
When you identify with a hero's journey, say in a
movie, or you feel conflictedwith your inner shadow, you're
actually tapping into thesearchetypal patterns.
They're a bridge between thepersonal and the universal.
They help us understand ourinner world and connect us with

(00:21):
others on a much more deeperlevel connect us with others on
a much more deeper level.
Hey everybody, welcome back toman Uncaved.
This is Shane.
Now, I am really excited aboutthis topic tonight.
This is something that I'mreally passionate about, and so
I'm just going to go ahead andjump right into it.
Today we're going to be talkingabout an essential topic, about

(00:46):
how boys become men, and thisis going to be through the lens
of what's called archetypes andwe're going to go into that a
little bit more and how we'llexplore these four foundational
archetypes, looking at what'scalled the king, the warrior,
the magician and the lover, andhow they shape a man's journey.

(01:08):
And we're going to be lookingat the polarities within each
archetype, how they can guide usand also how they can limit our
own growth.
Now, to help us, along withtoday's episode, I'm going to be
pulling some insights from theseminal book titled King,
warrior, magician, loverRediscovering the Archetypes of

(01:31):
the Mature Masculine.
Now this is written by RobertMoore and Douglas Gillette.
Now, this book is a pivotalexploration of how these
archetypes can influence a man'sdevelopment and how we can use
them to step into a more fuller,more integrated versions of

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ourself.
So let's explore thesearchetypes, the polarities with
them, and how they play a rolein our man's growth from what is
called boyhood or boypsychology into maturity.
But before we go down that,let's talk about what exactly is
an archetype.
For those that don't know.
Well, carl Jung, the renownedSwiss psychiatrist and founder

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of analytical psychology,described archetypes as a
universal patterns and symbolsthat reside in the collective
unconscious.
These are not just randomimages or ideas, but deeply
ingrained blueprints thatinfluence our thoughts, our

(02:36):
behaviors and our perceptions.
Jung believed that archetypesare inherited psychic structures
.
They're shared by all humansand that they shape how we
experience the world.
They manifest in myths anddreams and art, and even in the
stories we tell today.

(02:57):
These archetypes are actuallyfundamental characters or motifs
that transcend time and culturethe hero, the brave figure who
faces trials to bring aboutchange.
There's the wise old man thatrepresents wisdom, guidance and

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the shadow embodying the darker,repressed aspects of ourself.
Now, these archetypes don'texist as specific people, but as
universal energies, if you will, that express themselves in our
lives as well as in society.
Now here's what's reallyinteresting.

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We often encounter thesearchetypes without even
realizing it.
When you identify with a hero'sjourney, say in a movie, or you
feel conflicted with your innershadow, you're actually tapping
into these archetypal patterns.
They're a bridge between thepersonal and the universal.

(04:03):
They help us understand ourinner world and connect us with
others on a much more deeperlevel.
Jung's idea of archetypes givesus a lens to explore who we are
.
By recognizing these patternswithin ourselves, we can uncover
hidden motivations in ourselves.

(04:29):
We can uncover hiddenmotivations, heal unresolved
conflicts and step into our truepotential.
In the book Kings, warriors andMagician, lover, moore and
Gillette break down themasculine psyche into four
distinct archetypes.
Each are symbolizing adifferent aspect of a man's
potential, but these are notseparate compartments.
Actually, each archetypecontains its own polarities, its

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strengths and its shadow.
To understand how a boy becomesa man, we need to look at these
four archetypes and how theyplay out in our own lives.
Let's take a look now at theking.
The king represents the mature,sovereign part of a man the
leader, the provider and theprotector.

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He is the one who sits on thethrone of his life, ruling with
wisdom, fairness and a deepsense of responsibility.
The king is about order andjustice and he brings a balance
and stability to the world.
Moore and Gillette write.

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The king archetype in itshighest form has a deep,
unshakable sense of purpose, asense of knowing what is right
and the ability to bring thatknowledge into the world with
grace.
Now, however, remember, eachside has its own polarity.
So the shadow side of the kingis known as the tyrant, the

(06:00):
tyrannical king ruler.
And this tyrannical king ruleswith fear, arrogance and the
need for control.
He's lost touch with compassionand empathy.
The shadow king can becomeconsumed with pride, is obsessed
with power and selfishness.

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So just looking at those twofrom the king and the tyrannical
king, noticing, as we movethrough these archetypes, those
parts of ourself.
Now let's dive into the warrior.
The warrior archetype is aboutdiscipline, action and courage.
Now he represents the part of aman that steps into battle,

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whether it's a literal fight, acareer challenge or personal
adversity.
The warrior is determined,decisive and relentless when
pursuing his goals.
Moore and Gillette describe thewarrior as the one who is
willing to step into the frayand act decisively for what is

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right, and he embodies thevalues of honor and courage.
Now, but when this warrior isout of balance, he becomes a
sociopath, someone consumed byaggression and violence without
purpose.
A man that is stuck in theshadow of the warrior might
become ruthless,over-competitive or quick to

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anger, using force orintimidation rather than wisdom
to solve problems.
The magician is the wise man,the mentor, the seer.
He is deeply and deeplyconnected to the mysteries of
life, tapped into intuition andtransformation.
The magician is about insight,self-reflection and the ability

(08:00):
to understand the bigger picture.
He can actually see throughillusions and bring clarity to
confusing situations.
As Moore and Gillette write,the magician is the one who can
see beyond the ordinary worldinto the realm of possibilities,
whether that's throughcreativity, spirituality or
intellectual pursuits.
Now the magician's shadow isthe manipulator, someone who

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uses his insight for selfishgain or control over others.
The manipulative magician mightdeceive, manipulate or withhold
the truth to maintain power oravoid confrontation.
His wisdom becomes a tool fordominance rather than using it

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to liberate.
Let's look at the lover.
The lover is the archetype ofpassion, emotion and connection.
He is attuned to the beauty,creativity and sensuality.
The lover embraces life fully,savoring experiences and
relationships.
Now, this archetype is the mostin touch with a man's emotions

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and his capacity for love andfor empathy.
Now, in the book, moore andGillette describe the lover as
the archetype that opens us tothe pleasures of life,
connecting us to others in anintimate and emotional way.
Now, just like all the otherones, the lover also has a
shadow.
When that lover can becomeunbalanced and failing, it falls

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into the shadow, the shadow ofthe addicted lover seeking
constant pleasure, validation oremotional highs.
The shadow lover may becomeaddicted to substances, love or
fleeting experiences.
It's unable to find deepermeaning or a true connection.
His life becomes a cycle ofseeking gratification without

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satisfaction.
Now that we have talked aboutthe four foundational archetypes
, let's dig deeper into theconcept of polarities, the
duality that exists within eacharchetype, and how each of these
archetypes has two opposingsides, and it's through
balancing these opposites that aboy becomes a man.

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So let's talk about the king asthe benevolent ruler versus the
tyrant.
So more in Gillette explained,the king archetype contains a
polarity between what is calledthe benevolent ruler and the
tyrant.
The tyrant seeks power forselfish gains, while the

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benevolent king serves thegreater good with wisdom and
care.
The king archetype requires aman to find the balance between
power and humility, betweenruling with integrity and
becoming obsessed with control.
A man who can embody bothwisdom and compassion becomes a

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ruler of his own life and hisrelationships, without becoming
overbearing or domineering.
The warrior archetype presents apolarity between what's called
the disciplined fighter and theaggressive soldier.
Now the disciplined warrior isfocused, self-controlled and

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chooses his battles wisely.
Now, on the flip side, theshadow warrior becomes reckless,
over-combative and driven byego.
He uses aggression to prove hisworth.
The mature warrior knows whento fight and when to protect.
His strength comes not fromconstantly seeking conflict, but

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from having the wisdom to knowwhen to use his power for good
and when to retreat or seekpeace.
Now let's take a look at themagician.
The magician's polarities liesbetween being the wise teacher
and the manipulator.
A wise magician uses hisknowledge for the benefit of

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others, guiding them, providinginsight and helping them grow.
Now the manipulative magician,however, uses his intellect to
deceive, control or avoidconfronting his own emotional
wounds.
So, in the balance, a manlearns to become a visionary,

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someone who can use insight forthe good of his community, his
family and his own soul's growth.
The magician helps guide otherson their journeys without
seeking to dominate or control.
Finally, the lover.
Now, this polarity is betweenwhat is called the passionate
creator and the addicted pleaser.

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The lover is in touch with hisemotions, his desire and his
capacity for intimacy, but theshadow lover seeks constant
pleasure without meaning, usingexternal things for his own
validation to fill his innervoid.
More, in Gillette Wright, thelover is the archetype that

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expresses the beauty of life.
But when that is imbalanced, hecan become consumed with his
need for affirmation and desire,which often leads to
destructive behavior patterns.
The balance lover is groundedin his passions but is able to
experience them without becomingdependent on them.

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He enjoys life's pleasureswhile seeking deeper connections
and personal growth.
Enjoys life's pleasures whileseeking deeper connections and
personal growth.
So how do we take thesearchetypes and these polarities?
And the idea is to integratethem into our lives.
It's not about embodying justone archetype at a time.
It's about finding the balancebetween all four.

(14:02):
So I'm going to talk a littlebit about how this process can
look, and here's some tools tohelp us.
One is self-reflection Takestock of which archetypes are
most dominant in your life.
Are you stuck in the shadow ofone, for example, are you too
focused on work, neglectingemotional connections?

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Are you overcompensating bybeing overly aggressive or
controlling?
Understand where you are on thespectrum of each archetype is
the first step towardsintegrating the positive aspects
and transforming the shadowsides.
Another helpful tool isconscious integration making a

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conscious effort to cultivatethe shadow aspects of each
archetype.
If you are too focused on beinga warrior, balance it with the
introspection of the magician.
If you lean too heavily intothe king, you might need to
connect more with your lover orsoften your approach more with

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more humility.
Another helpful tool I found isembracing your fullness.
A fully realized man is one whocan draw from all four
archetypes as needed.
In times of conflict, thewarrior is called.
In moments of reflection, themagician guides.
In moments of nurturing andgrowth, the king leads guides.

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In moments of nurturing andgrowth, the king leads.
And in time of connection, thelover embodies passion and depth
.
So that was some helpful tools.
Again, I highly suggest pickingup the book by Robert Moore and
Douglas Gillette to dive deeperin.
There are also subcategoriesthat go into more depth about

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the king, the warrior, themagician and the lover.
I found this to be reallyamazing.
And when we don't know how tointegrate basically these four
archetypes that are describedhere, then we stay in a boy
psychology.
We stay in our immature self,which we act out more.
We're more aggressive.
We are more childish in ourimmature self, which we act out
more we're more aggressive.
We are more childish in our ownways.

(16:11):
I hope you really enjoyed thisepisode.
This is one of my favoritetopics.
I use a lot of this stuff in myown life, but I also use this
in my practice, from private.
I run groups, I run workshopsand retreats, so I use this all
the time, using these archetypesor connecting to these
archetypes within self to designthe life and become the

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architect of our own life.
If you did enjoy this episode,please, please, all that I ask.
Of course, this is all free.
I take a lot of time tohopefully give you all great
information to help you on yourjourney.
Please leave a review and, ifpossible, please share some

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words.
I love reading what has landedfor you in this episode or even
previous episodes as well.
As, selfishly, it does help getthese podcasts and episodes out
there because, hey, there mightbe someone out there that does
need to hear this Again.
My name is Shane.
This is man Uncaved.
We need to come out of hiding.