August 26, 2024 • 14 mins
Are you feeling trapped by constant overthinking? Discover how compulsive thinking keeps us from truly living in the present and learn transformative strategies to break free. In this episode, I illuminate the idea that being "lost in thought" creates a disconnect not only from ourselves but also from the world around us. This episode unpacks the habitual nature of our thoughts, driven by deep-seated anxieties, and offers practical tools to become aware of and interrupt these obsessive patterns. I share how to recognize when we are in a trance-like state and what can help us return to a life grounded in the present moment of wisdom and embodiment.
Explore the journey towards grounding and genuine connection through embodiment practices tailored to address trauma and build self-awareness. I discuss the significance of techniques such as meditation, Qigong, mindful walks, and breathwork in helping us to feel more grounded and present. Consistency in practice is key. I emphasize the importance of patience and dedication in mastering these techniques. By reconnecting with our true selves and those around us, we can emerge from hiding and foster deeper, more meaningful relationships. Join us for an enlightening conversation on how to cultivate a life of presence and connection.
Instagram: shanecoylehealing
Youtube: manuncaved
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The intensity of our compulsive thinking is in direct
proportion to the extent we areunwilling to experience our
body in that moment.
Hey, my name is Shane Coyle, sogood to be back.
I want to let's open uptonight's episode.
(00:20):
Several years ago there was aspiritual teacher and this
teacher was asked to describeour contemporary society.
And now his response was lostin thought.
And just really loving that.
Lost in thought?
(00:40):
Yes, I believe that I am.
I believe there is a wholesociety that can tend to get
lost in our thought.
Now, when we get lost in ourthought, we're really losing the
embodiment or the wisdom of thepresent moment.
So we're going to kind ofdissect this a little bit and
take a look at this idea of whatis called embodiment.
(01:02):
And when we drift away, iswe're getting?
There's a little siren in thebackground you might hear as
it's going by.
We're just going to keep going.
Let's take a moment just toexplore, just even for today,
how much time was spent planning, fixing, trying to solve a
(01:22):
problem or obsessing.
How many moments did we driftinto this cyberspace.
Now, taking a moment just torecognize through the day, maybe
even right now, we're justwe're drifting into cyberspace,
we're obsessing about the nextmoment.
We're thinking about the thingswe need to fix or some problem
that hasn't even happened yet.
(01:43):
So when we attach to ourthoughts, we're just really.
We're lost in this trance.
Back to what he was talkingabout we're just lost in thought
, and when we get lost in thistrance we are separated, and
what I mean by that is we'rejust really separated from
ourselves.
We're separated from each other.
(02:05):
Poet and author Don O'Donohuestated our bodies know that it
belongs to life and spirit.
It's our minds that makes ourlives so homeless.
So I just want to repeat thatone more time, because it is so
beautifully written Our bodiesknows that it belongs to life
(02:26):
and spirit.
It's our minds that makes ourlives so homeless.
Much of our thoughts are justso derived on our own negative
bias.
There's this hypervigilancewaiting for the next eruption.
Vigilance, waiting for the nexteruption, waiting for the next
(02:48):
invalidation, waiting for thenext abandonment.
So there is this continuousundercurrent of anxiety that
lives in our thoughts and thisundercurrent of anxiety leaves
us to experience an emptiness orloneliness within the present
moment.
It just continues to perpetuateover and over again.
And if it's continuing toperpetuate over and over again,
(03:10):
this emptiness and thisloneliness, we can feel
separated from our own bodiesand we start to get shut down.
We are separated from eachother, we're just offline.
If we can't connect toourselves and feeling so
separated again, going back tothis homeless experience of our
own self in the present moment,and we're lost in the obsessions
(03:33):
of the mind derived from thepast and or the future, then
we're separated from ourselvesand we are really separated from
each other.
We're just offline.
We're separated from connection, connectedness.
We're separated from empathy.
We're separated from compassion.
I once heard that it's aboutapproximately 80 and 98% of our
(03:57):
thoughts are the same thoughtsthat we had yesterday or months
ago, even, for that matter.
And, of course, anything thatyou do over and over again
becomes a habit, and so we justbecome habituated to living with
great anxiety and worry becausewe're worrying about the next
problem that has that hasn'thappened yet.
We're we're worrying aboutfixing something that isn't even
(04:20):
broken yet.
We obsess about a situation inthe past that we would have done
differently or we should havedone differently, and so we stay
in this looping pattern, thiscontinuous looping pattern that
causes us to feel such deephomelessness in this experience
(04:40):
that we're having and thisobsession and these obsessive
thoughts that keep loopingaround and around and around.
Our obsess and our thoughts arereally just greatly derived off
of assumptions orinterpretations and projections
from our own subjectivity.
So it leaves us again separatedfrom the gift of now, the
(05:05):
wisdom of what this moment isteaching us now.
So how do we get from thistrance?
How do we awaken to become moreaware and notice when we are
locked within this trance?
Well, first, it's first is wemust become aware that we are in
this trance, that we tend tolive our lives in such a
(05:27):
subjectivity and we only seeabout 10% of reality, because
90% of it is derived from ourown perspective and our own
interpretation of what we thinkis happening in the moment.
(05:47):
So again, we get locked into anarrow glimpse of this present
moment which, again, if we'renot able to see it in reality
and we're runninginterpretations or assumptions
or projections from our ownsubjectivity, it's going to
cause us to collide.
And where we can collide a lotof the times is we're colliding
(06:10):
with people and we're collidingwith things and we're colliding
with life itself, because we'renot getting the whole frame of
what is happening in the moment.
So what are some tools and somered flags to notice when we are
locked in this trance, to helpus with the awakening.
Well, one is notice theobsessive thinking patterns,
(06:33):
notice our need for compulsivethinking around and around.
The intensity of our compulsivethinking is a direct proportion
to the extent of ourunwillingness to experience our
body in the moment, the angstthat is driving our thoughts,
and so, instead we exploring theangst we keep looping in our
(06:58):
thoughts.
I'll repeat that one more timethe intensity of our compulsive
thinking is a direct proportionto the extent we are unwilling
to experience our body in thepresent moment, and so we are
driven by this angst of ourthoughts.
And instead of exploring theangst, we loop in our own
(07:22):
thoughts around and around andaround.
And the idea to transcend orcome out of this trance-like
state.
Intervene on this process to asmuch as possible.
Intervene on this process to asmuch as possible, as much as we
can intervene on this process,and to notice what am I
(07:42):
unwilling to feel, what am Iunwilling to feel in the present
moment, whether that be sadness, whether that be fear, and see
if we can intervene on that byintervening on the behaviors, by
diving into that, even if it'sjust for a that, even if it's
just for a moment, even if it'sjust for a moment, we intervene
(08:03):
on that experience where we'reunwilling to feel, feel that
feeling underneath and then pickup right back in our own
thoughts.
But even though that one minute, and practice and practice, and
practice.
It goes back to what I say.
What is your practice?
Whatever you are practicing,you become, that, becomes part
of your habit.
(08:23):
So if you're practicingdeflecting, if you're happy, if
you practice, keep going backinto your thoughts and avoiding
what you should be, what isunderneath and feeling that,
then that becomes your pattern.
So that's one of the flags tonotice is our obsessive thinking
pattern.
Another obsessive thinkingpattern is judgment.
We can tend to judge ourselves,we can judge others, we can
(08:48):
judge life.
And way that we can notice that, when we are in our judgment
patterns again in our trance,lost in thoughts, is we start to
apply shoulds how things shouldbe, how this person should be,
how life should be, how I shouldbe.
(09:08):
And if there's an impliedshould maybe it's covert, not as
overt pay attention to that,not as overt.
Pay attention to that, open upa space for that, and that could
leave a little bit of room foryou to explore what is
underneath.
So some of the red flags to beaware of obsessive thinking
(09:30):
judgments.
Another one is addictivebehaviors, and this is the big,
big umbrella that we like todiscuss.
Of course, drugs and alcoholcould be a way of avoiding what
needs to be felt underneath, buta lot of people don't
understand these behaviors liein many other directions Food,
(09:55):
getting lost in social mediait's a big problem.
Our devices, screen times,computers, iphones, and just
getting lost in cyberspace Showswe can just binge watch shows.
Now, look, these aren't badthings, quote unquote.
Bad, it's to notice when we getlost there and really what we
(10:17):
can be doing is avoiding what weare feeling underneath.
So again, when we're lost inthat and we go into this TV show
screen times or social medias,we can be avoiding what needs to
be felt underneath.
So drugs, alcohol, food, socialmedia work could be a great
distraction piece.
(10:38):
We're staying busy all the time.
Staying busy all the time andso, or shopping, and really what
?
These are just really quickdopamine fixes.
So when we understand addictivebehaviors, there's really only
one addiction All that the mindis chasing is the dopamine hit,
the reward system that getsignited.
So people, I think, struggle tounderstand this.
(11:02):
You know they tend to just seethe drugs and the alcohol, but
it's wherever the dopamine getsignited, wherever the reward
gets.
Sex could be one where we justuse sex to not feel.
Shopping, to not feel workkeeps us distracted and these
can keep us in a trance, andthat trance continues to be a
habit and we contend to chasethat habit the speed, speed of
(11:29):
life, racing, restlessness.
You know there's always thissaying that you know I don't
have enough time, I don't haveenough time, I don't have enough
time.
Well, what do I not have time?
I don't have enough time to bein my own body, I don't have
enough time to nurture thisrelationship.
I just don't have enough timeto be in my own body.
I don't have enough time tonurture this relationship.
I just don't have enough timeto slow down.
Now, that's an unfortunateevent.
I mean, it's our culture too.
(11:49):
Our culture just creates racing.
It's the human race.
We are racing closer to ourgraves because no one wants to
slow down.
And I think when we start toslow down and I work a lot with
this in the healing is whenpeople start to slow down and
they have to be still.
They get a glimpse at what'sbeen underneath the whole time
(12:10):
and all these emotions start torise.
And then we struggle withemotions and we get lost in our
own thinking.
Again, we disconnect ordisassociate from our body, from
the wisdom, the embodiment ofthe present moment.
And slowing down what I foundfrom my own practice and working
with people is slowing downappears to open our lens.
It opens our lens of perception, and so these are some signs
(12:36):
and some flags to become awareof that we might be locked in a
trance and so, connecting to theangst underneath, what am I not
willing to feel in this presentmoment, what am I not willing
to experience in this moment?
And every time we can do that,we interrupt the behaviors and
we create this space.
And now remember that spaceempowers us.
(12:56):
It empowers us and it gives usmore access to our inner wisdom.
At the moment we get out of ourthoughts and again it's a
practice.
So even if it's one moment,then it's two moments.
The more that we can practiceto interrupt the behavior of
getting looped in our ownthinking and separated from our
(13:17):
awareness and our bodies in thepresent moment, the more that we
can catch it and the more thatwe can become aware and notice
when it happens and to get backrooted again.
Get back rooted again.
So some of the embodimentpractice that I've discussed and
I work with in my courses and Iwork with my clients too, as
we're working on narratives andtrauma and somatic work is also
(13:40):
the practice of meditation orQigong or mindful walks.
Breathwork techniques arealways helpful to explore the
body and the wisdom, what ishappening now and then building
a window of tolerance.
How do I sit in this awareness?
Can I sit in this awareness andjust noticing when the mind
(14:00):
starts to move and shift andmove away from it?
And again, it is a practice.
You're not going to get thisovernight.
So I hope this was helpful.
Again, practicing embodimentexercises help us to feel more
grounded when we're feelingungrounded and it gets us back
into the present moments.
It opens up a space ofperceptions, it brings us back
(14:21):
to connection with ourselves andit brings us back to connection
with ourselves and it brings usback into connection with
others.
Again, my name is Shane.
This is man, uncaved.
We need to come out of hiding.
If you did enjoy this quickepisode, please share it, please
rate it, give me some feedback,let me know it helps people
find their own awareness and youjust spread the message of love
(14:42):
.
The intensity of our compulsive thinking is in direct
proportion to the extent we areunwilling to experience our
body in that moment.
Hey, my name is Shane Coyle, sogood to be back.
I want to let's open uptonight's episode.
(00:20):
Several years ago there was aspiritual teacher and this
teacher was asked to describeour contemporary society.
And now his response was lostin thought.
And just really loving that.
Lost in thought?
(00:40):
Yes, I believe that I am.
I believe there is a wholesociety that can tend to get
lost in our thought.
Now, when we get lost in ourthought, we're really losing the
embodiment or the wisdom of thepresent moment.
So we're going to kind ofdissect this a little bit and
take a look at this idea of whatis called embodiment.
(01:02):
And when we drift away, iswe're getting?
There's a little siren in thebackground you might hear as
it's going by.
We're just going to keep going.
Let's take a moment just toexplore, just even for today,
how much time was spent planning, fixing, trying to solve a
(01:22):
problem or obsessing.
How many moments did we driftinto this cyberspace.
Now, taking a moment just torecognize through the day, maybe
even right now, we're justwe're drifting into cyberspace,
we're obsessing about the nextmoment.
We're thinking about the thingswe need to fix or some problem
that hasn't even happened yet.
(01:43):
So when we attach to ourthoughts, we're just really.
We're lost in this trance.
Back to what he was talkingabout we're just lost in thought
, and when we get lost in thistrance we are separated, and
what I mean by that is we'rejust really separated from
ourselves.
We're separated from each other.
(02:05):
Poet and author Don O'Donohuestated our bodies know that it
belongs to life and spirit.
It's our minds that makes ourlives so homeless.
So I just want to repeat thatone more time, because it is so
beautifully written Our bodiesknows that it belongs to life
(02:26):
and spirit.
It's our minds that makes ourlives so homeless.
Much of our thoughts are justso derived on our own negative
bias.
There's this hypervigilancewaiting for the next eruption.
Vigilance, waiting for the nexteruption, waiting for the next
(02:48):
invalidation, waiting for thenext abandonment.
So there is this continuousundercurrent of anxiety that
lives in our thoughts and thisundercurrent of anxiety leaves
us to experience an emptiness orloneliness within the present
moment.
It just continues to perpetuateover and over again.
And if it's continuing toperpetuate over and over again,
(03:10):
this emptiness and thisloneliness, we can feel
separated from our own bodiesand we start to get shut down.
We are separated from eachother, we're just offline.
If we can't connect toourselves and feeling so
separated again, going back tothis homeless experience of our
own self in the present moment,and we're lost in the obsessions
(03:33):
of the mind derived from thepast and or the future, then
we're separated from ourselvesand we are really separated from
each other.
We're just offline.
We're separated from connection, connectedness.
We're separated from empathy.
We're separated from compassion.
I once heard that it's aboutapproximately 80 and 98% of our
(03:57):
thoughts are the same thoughtsthat we had yesterday or months
ago, even, for that matter.
And, of course, anything thatyou do over and over again
becomes a habit, and so we justbecome habituated to living with
great anxiety and worry becausewe're worrying about the next
problem that has that hasn'thappened yet.
We're we're worrying aboutfixing something that isn't even
(04:20):
broken yet.
We obsess about a situation inthe past that we would have done
differently or we should havedone differently, and so we stay
in this looping pattern, thiscontinuous looping pattern that
causes us to feel such deephomelessness in this experience
(04:40):
that we're having and thisobsession and these obsessive
thoughts that keep loopingaround and around and around.
Our obsess and our thoughts arereally just greatly derived off
of assumptions orinterpretations and projections
from our own subjectivity.
So it leaves us again separatedfrom the gift of now, the
(05:05):
wisdom of what this moment isteaching us now.
So how do we get from thistrance?
How do we awaken to become moreaware and notice when we are
locked within this trance?
Well, first, it's first is wemust become aware that we are in
this trance, that we tend tolive our lives in such a
(05:27):
subjectivity and we only seeabout 10% of reality, because
90% of it is derived from ourown perspective and our own
interpretation of what we thinkis happening in the moment.
(05:47):
So again, we get locked into anarrow glimpse of this present
moment which, again, if we'renot able to see it in reality
and we're runninginterpretations or assumptions
or projections from our ownsubjectivity, it's going to
cause us to collide.
And where we can collide a lotof the times is we're colliding
(06:10):
with people and we're collidingwith things and we're colliding
with life itself, because we'renot getting the whole frame of
what is happening in the moment.
So what are some tools and somered flags to notice when we are
locked in this trance, to helpus with the awakening.
Well, one is notice theobsessive thinking patterns,
(06:33):
notice our need for compulsivethinking around and around.
The intensity of our compulsivethinking is a direct proportion
to the extent of ourunwillingness to experience our
body in the moment, the angstthat is driving our thoughts,
and so, instead we exploring theangst we keep looping in our
(06:58):
thoughts.
I'll repeat that one more timethe intensity of our compulsive
thinking is a direct proportionto the extent we are unwilling
to experience our body in thepresent moment, and so we are
driven by this angst of ourthoughts.
And instead of exploring theangst, we loop in our own
(07:22):
thoughts around and around andaround.
And the idea to transcend orcome out of this trance-like
state.
Intervene on this process to asmuch as possible.
Intervene on this process to asmuch as possible, as much as we
can intervene on this process,and to notice what am I
(07:42):
unwilling to feel, what am Iunwilling to feel in the present
moment, whether that be sadness, whether that be fear, and see
if we can intervene on that byintervening on the behaviors, by
diving into that, even if it'sjust for a that, even if it's
just for a moment, even if it'sjust for a moment, we intervene
(08:03):
on that experience where we'reunwilling to feel, feel that
feeling underneath and then pickup right back in our own
thoughts.
But even though that one minute, and practice and practice, and
practice.
It goes back to what I say.
What is your practice?
Whatever you are practicing,you become, that, becomes part
of your habit.
(08:23):
So if you're practicingdeflecting, if you're happy, if
you practice, keep going backinto your thoughts and avoiding
what you should be, what isunderneath and feeling that,
then that becomes your pattern.
So that's one of the flags tonotice is our obsessive thinking
pattern.
Another obsessive thinkingpattern is judgment.
We can tend to judge ourselves,we can judge others, we can
(08:48):
judge life.
And way that we can notice that, when we are in our judgment
patterns again in our trance,lost in thoughts, is we start to
apply shoulds how things shouldbe, how this person should be,
how life should be, how I shouldbe.
(09:08):
And if there's an impliedshould maybe it's covert, not as
overt pay attention to that,not as overt.
Pay attention to that, open upa space for that, and that could
leave a little bit of room foryou to explore what is
underneath.
So some of the red flags to beaware of obsessive thinking
(09:30):
judgments.
Another one is addictivebehaviors, and this is the big,
big umbrella that we like todiscuss.
Of course, drugs and alcoholcould be a way of avoiding what
needs to be felt underneath, buta lot of people don't
understand these behaviors liein many other directions Food,
(09:55):
getting lost in social mediait's a big problem.
Our devices, screen times,computers, iphones, and just
getting lost in cyberspace Showswe can just binge watch shows.
Now, look, these aren't badthings, quote unquote.
Bad, it's to notice when we getlost there and really what we
(10:17):
can be doing is avoiding what weare feeling underneath.
So again, when we're lost inthat and we go into this TV show
screen times or social medias,we can be avoiding what needs to
be felt underneath.
So drugs, alcohol, food, socialmedia work could be a great
distraction piece.
(10:38):
We're staying busy all the time.
Staying busy all the time andso, or shopping, and really what
?
These are just really quickdopamine fixes.
So when we understand addictivebehaviors, there's really only
one addiction All that the mindis chasing is the dopamine hit,
the reward system that getsignited.
So people, I think, struggle tounderstand this.
(11:02):
You know they tend to just seethe drugs and the alcohol, but
it's wherever the dopamine getsignited, wherever the reward
gets.
Sex could be one where we justuse sex to not feel.
Shopping, to not feel workkeeps us distracted and these
can keep us in a trance, andthat trance continues to be a
habit and we contend to chasethat habit the speed, speed of
(11:29):
life, racing, restlessness.
You know there's always thissaying that you know I don't
have enough time, I don't haveenough time, I don't have enough
time.
Well, what do I not have time?
I don't have enough time to bein my own body, I don't have
enough time to nurture thisrelationship.
I just don't have enough timeto be in my own body.
I don't have enough time tonurture this relationship.
I just don't have enough timeto slow down.
Now, that's an unfortunateevent.
I mean, it's our culture too.
(11:49):
Our culture just creates racing.
It's the human race.
We are racing closer to ourgraves because no one wants to
slow down.
And I think when we start toslow down and I work a lot with
this in the healing is whenpeople start to slow down and
they have to be still.
They get a glimpse at what'sbeen underneath the whole time
(12:10):
and all these emotions start torise.
And then we struggle withemotions and we get lost in our
own thinking.
Again, we disconnect ordisassociate from our body, from
the wisdom, the embodiment ofthe present moment.
And slowing down what I foundfrom my own practice and working
with people is slowing downappears to open our lens.
It opens our lens of perception, and so these are some signs
(12:36):
and some flags to become awareof that we might be locked in a
trance and so, connecting to theangst underneath, what am I not
willing to feel in this presentmoment, what am I not willing
to experience in this moment?
And every time we can do that,we interrupt the behaviors and
we create this space.
And now remember that spaceempowers us.
(12:56):
It empowers us and it gives usmore access to our inner wisdom.
At the moment we get out of ourthoughts and again it's a
practice.
So even if it's one moment,then it's two moments.
The more that we can practiceto interrupt the behavior of
getting looped in our ownthinking and separated from our
(13:17):
awareness and our bodies in thepresent moment, the more that we
can catch it and the more thatwe can become aware and notice
when it happens and to get backrooted again.
Get back rooted again.
So some of the embodimentpractice that I've discussed and
I work with in my courses and Iwork with my clients too, as
we're working on narratives andtrauma and somatic work is also
(13:40):
the practice of meditation orQigong or mindful walks.
Breathwork techniques arealways helpful to explore the
body and the wisdom, what ishappening now and then building
a window of tolerance.
How do I sit in this awareness?
Can I sit in this awareness andjust noticing when the mind
(14:00):
starts to move and shift andmove away from it?
And again, it is a practice.
You're not going to get thisovernight.
So I hope this was helpful.
Again, practicing embodimentexercises help us to feel more
grounded when we're feelingungrounded and it gets us back
into the present moments.
It opens up a space ofperceptions, it brings us back
(14:21):
to connection with ourselves andit brings us back to connection
with ourselves and it brings usback into connection with
others.
Again, my name is Shane.
This is man, uncaved.
We need to come out of hiding.
If you did enjoy this quickepisode, please share it, please
rate it, give me some feedback,let me know it helps people
find their own awareness and youjust spread the message of love
(14:42):
.
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