March 2, 2024 • 13 mins
Ever faced a moment when your meticulously laid plans suddenly went up in smoke? Literally? With unexpected twists like a dream venue burning down or a band's abrupt breakup, this episode shines a light on the unforeseen chaos that can surprisingly sweeten the big day.
Yvette Sitters your professional wedding expert of 23 years shares how embracing flexibility can transform wedding challenges into moments of bliss. Discover why flexibility is the key to a stress-free and magical wedding day.
Full Shownotes and Resources:
- For detailed information, additional tips, and resources mentioned in this episode, visit our website at https://managemywedding.com/blogs/news/embracing-flexibility-turning-wedding-mishaps-into-bliss
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Yvette Sitters (00:00):
Welcome to the Manage my Wedding podcast, where
we believe your wedding is themost important time in your life
and you deserve to feelsupported and organised when
planning the wedding of yourdreams.
I'm your host, Yvette Sitters.
Hello, welcome back to theManage my Wedding podcast.
(00:20):
I want to talk about todayflexibility during your wedding
planning.
And the reason I want to talkabout flexibility during wedding
planning is because we all knowsometimes things don't quite
always go to plan duringplanning or on the wedding day
itself, and sometimes thingswill change and it can be really
(00:45):
upsetting at the time.
It can be so upsetting becauseyou can be like I booked that
band for a reason, because thesinger was amazing, and now the
band is broken up because theguitarist has pulled out and
they can't find a replacement,and we can get ourselves so
worked up about that.
But you know I'm such a massivebeliever that everything
(01:07):
happens as it's meant to happen.
You know the universe doesn'tfor a reason to us and it
doesn't feel like it at the time, but it's meant to happen and
the outcome always ends up beingbetter.
We get so stressed and upsetand then later we're like I'm so
glad that happened because itwas even better.
You know, for example, the bandthing that I just said.
(01:31):
The band might end up being somuch better.
All you guess might.
The next day you're like.
Everyone was on the dance floorall night and they raved about
the band for years it was meantto be.
Imagine, instead, it being theday before your wedding and
finding out that the band hadbroken up and they're not going
to be there.
They've had a falling out.
That's going to be worse.
So things that occur duringwedding planning are meant to
(01:55):
happen when they happen, so theydon't happen on your wedding
day.
But we have to learn to embracethe change and embrace being
flexible, as hard as that can besometimes.
You know, I've got a really goodexample.
I was working in a weddingvenue that overlooked the ocean
in Sydney.
I worked there for about threeyears and a venue that was
(02:19):
within walking distance from us.
It burnt down on a Friday night.
Now there was a wedding thatwas meant to take place there on
a Saturday.
Then there is a wedding on theSunday.
This venue was predominantly awedding venue, so they had
weddings most days of the week,sometimes two weddings in a day
if there was a lunch and adinner one.
So you can imagine how manybrides and grooms were
(02:43):
devastated, especially the onesthat were in the couple of
months coming up from that day.
They were so stressed out youknow I had people lined up in
the lobby wanting to speak to me, just desperate to find a date
and secure a date on the sameday because they booked all
their other vendors and theywere so stressed and so upset
(03:03):
Understandably.
It's your venue, right, it's abig deal.
That's pretty extreme, that'spretty much the worst thing that
can happen.
And majority of those people,after the wedding, wrote the
most beautiful letters andemails and sent me the most
gorgeous gifts and said they'reso glad that it happened because
of the friendship that I madewith them and because of the
(03:25):
service, because I took my jobso seriously and I probably even
went more over and above, ifthat was even possible for those
people, because I knew how hardit was for them in the lead up.
And they all said how glad theywere that their venue was moved
because we gave better servicefrom the moment we took over.
(03:47):
You know there's always a reasonthat these things happen.
You know they had an ocean view, whereas the other venue was,
you know, backed onto, it waslike an open I don't it was not
a creek, but like a big lake,but a big one.
Our beautiful venue was astunning venue, but ours had a
better outlook and everyoneafterwards was so grateful that
(04:08):
they ended up being there.
So these things always occur asthey're meant to occur and it's
best that you know now thingswill happen.
They do happen.
Your bridesmaid's dresses mightturn up and they're not the
right shade of green, thank you.
But no one else knows who comesto your wedding that things
(04:29):
aren't how they were meant to be.
You are the only person thatknows.
So no one else is pointing outthose things.
No one else is noticing.
They're not noticing that theplace cards aren't the ones that
you wanted.
They aren't noticing that theflower bouquets aren't exactly
the size that you wanted.
They're there, they are havingfun, they're enjoying it.
(04:50):
They're thinking everything isincredible, and you need to feel
that too, because I'm tellingyou it shows in your face.
I have seen so many brides,they've been so stressed out and
it shows they are not walkingdown that aisle glowing and
looking radiant, because you cansee the stress or the
frustration that they might havehad or the lack of sleep.
So it's so important to stayflexible for so many reasons
(05:16):
Also for your own sanity andyour partner's sanity and all
your friends and everyone elsewho's dealing with you and make
sure you just have really,really great relationships with
your vendors.
Because I'm telling you, if youhave that and you treat them
with kindness and you treat themhow you want to be treated,
they will bend over backwards.
If something's going to gowrong, they will go out of their
(05:38):
way to help you.
If your photographer's sick,they know other photographers.
The cake maker will know otherphotographers, the venue will
know other photographers and ifyou are good to them, they will
want to help you.
I actually remember seeing apost just recently a wedding
planner that I know at a GoldCoast venue.
He posted in the Gold Coastlike a Gold Coast wedding group
(06:01):
and he posted on his personalwedding page saying Desperate
does anybody know a weddingphotographer that can come to my
venue?
Now?
The photographer did not turnup and have already missed the
ceremony, but if we can capturesome shots before the reception
and during the reception, thatwill alleviate some of the
stress that the couple arefeeling Like.
(06:22):
Imagine that, imagine thatmoment happening.
But this is life, this is whathappens.
These things happen.
Now I don't know I actuallyshould follow that up.
I don't know, we don't know thephotographer could have had an
accident on the way.
I don't know.
I didn't, I haven't asked.
I'm going to ask actually afterthis.
I'm not sure what happened, butthese things occur and they
(06:45):
occur in life as well, not justin wedding planning.
So it's best now to understandthat.
You know, sometimes things justwon't go to plan, and that's
okay and we just work throughthem and it'll come out better.
But, like I said, have greatcommunication with your vendors,
because that will help, and beflexible.
(07:08):
Make flexibility yoursuperpower, because if it's your
superpower, you will just behappy with everything and the
planning will just feel so muchmore enjoyable and the day will
be so much better.
And just manage your ownexpectations as well throughout
the planning.
It's best to accept thingsgracefully as they occur during
(07:31):
planning.
Just gracefully handle thedeviations, because if you
handle it gracefully, it won'tfeel as intense and it will be
easier to work through insteadof flying off the handle,
getting mad, getting anxious,losing sleep over it, like that
is not how we want to enjoywedding planning and if we're
(07:52):
flexible and we're ready toaccept that sometimes things
might go wrong, then everythingis going to work out more
beautifully.
You won't notice, you justwon't notice.
And, like I said, the mainimportant thing is no one else
notices and I say this all thetime to bridal couples no one
else knows.
If things go wrong, don't worry, just keep on going.
(08:15):
Keep on going.
No one else knows.
And then the day after thewedding, get mad about it then.
But I'm telling you by then,honestly, you wake up the next
day after the wedding.
You're like oh my God, the daywas amazing, I had the best day.
But if you get caught up ingetting upset on the day or
you're looking for problems,then you're not going to have
(08:37):
really good memories.
You are there to marry the loveof your life and that is all
that matters.
As long as you get married andyou have a dance and a boogie,
then everything is perfect.
Everything is perfect.
I think I did this post insocial media.
Please come and follow me onInstagram.
It's my favorite.
I'm all on all the platforms,but I love Instagram the most
(09:00):
because I feel like I can builda bond with couples, and
particularly brides, and I canjust chat to brides in the DMs
and I just I love it.
I get to know you, I get toknow your wedding.
So please, if you not, come tomanage my wedding on Instagram
and follow me and say hi, tellme when your wedding is and tell
me you've been listening to thepodcast so we can chat.
(09:21):
But I did a post sorry, I wastrying to remember where I was
going with this because I wentoff track.
I did a post and it wassomething like if, at the end of
the day, you married the personthat you love, then everything
went perfectly and that'sliterally how it is.
That is the truth.
That is why you are gettingmarried.
It's not about having thisgorgeous dress and the best
(09:44):
flowers and all of that.
None of that matters.
Just marrying the person thatyou love is all that matters,
and if you go in there with thatperception, your wedding day
will be better than you everimagined, ever imagined.
So that is all I wanted toshare today.
I know that you're like, oh mygosh, she talked a lot to just
(10:05):
to talk about being flexible,but it's so important.
So embrace the things that gowrong.
Embrace those icky phone callsfrom a vendor that something's
canceled.
Embrace that those your weddingshoes weren't at the exact
color and just whatever it is ishow it was meant to be, and
(10:28):
take that on board in life aswell.
It's really really, reallyimportant.
As I get older and wiser, Ithink I think I'm getting wiser
as we get older, I am learningto embrace things exactly as
they are, and I always say to mykids it's perfect the way it is
, this is the way it's meant tobe.
Just accept that and I know, ifyou take this episode on board,
(10:51):
that you will really have atruly magical wedding day.
I know that you will.
So, yeah, be happy.
Don't say I don't wanna bringon change for you.
I just want you to embrace it.
If it's needed, be flexible and, until next time, enjoy being
engaged and staying stress-freeand organized while planning the
wedding of your dreams.
Welcome to the Manage my Wedding podcast, where
we believe your wedding is themost important time in your life
and you deserve to feelsupported and organised when
planning the wedding of yourdreams.
I'm your host, Yvette Sitters.
Hello, welcome back to theManage my Wedding podcast.
(00:20):
I want to talk about todayflexibility during your wedding
planning.
And the reason I want to talkabout flexibility during wedding
planning is because we all knowsometimes things don't quite
always go to plan duringplanning or on the wedding day
itself, and sometimes thingswill change and it can be really
(00:45):
upsetting at the time.
It can be so upsetting becauseyou can be like I booked that
band for a reason, because thesinger was amazing, and now the
band is broken up because theguitarist has pulled out and
they can't find a replacement,and we can get ourselves so
worked up about that.
But you know I'm such a massivebeliever that everything
(01:07):
happens as it's meant to happen.
You know the universe doesn'tfor a reason to us and it
doesn't feel like it at the time, but it's meant to happen and
the outcome always ends up beingbetter.
We get so stressed and upsetand then later we're like I'm so
glad that happened because itwas even better.
You know, for example, the bandthing that I just said.
(01:31):
The band might end up being somuch better.
All you guess might.
The next day you're like.
Everyone was on the dance floorall night and they raved about
the band for years it was meantto be.
Imagine, instead, it being theday before your wedding and
finding out that the band hadbroken up and they're not going
to be there.
They've had a falling out.
That's going to be worse.
So things that occur duringwedding planning are meant to
(01:55):
happen when they happen, so theydon't happen on your wedding
day.
But we have to learn to embracethe change and embrace being
flexible, as hard as that can besometimes.
You know, I've got a really goodexample.
I was working in a weddingvenue that overlooked the ocean
in Sydney.
I worked there for about threeyears and a venue that was
(02:19):
within walking distance from us.
It burnt down on a Friday night.
Now there was a wedding thatwas meant to take place there on
a Saturday.
Then there is a wedding on theSunday.
This venue was predominantly awedding venue, so they had
weddings most days of the week,sometimes two weddings in a day
if there was a lunch and adinner one.
So you can imagine how manybrides and grooms were
(02:43):
devastated, especially the onesthat were in the couple of
months coming up from that day.
They were so stressed out youknow I had people lined up in
the lobby wanting to speak to me, just desperate to find a date
and secure a date on the sameday because they booked all
their other vendors and theywere so stressed and so upset
(03:03):
Understandably.
It's your venue, right, it's abig deal.
That's pretty extreme, that'spretty much the worst thing that
can happen.
And majority of those people,after the wedding, wrote the
most beautiful letters andemails and sent me the most
gorgeous gifts and said they'reso glad that it happened because
of the friendship that I madewith them and because of the
(03:25):
service, because I took my jobso seriously and I probably even
went more over and above, ifthat was even possible for those
people, because I knew how hardit was for them in the lead up.
And they all said how glad theywere that their venue was moved
because we gave better servicefrom the moment we took over.
(03:47):
You know there's always a reasonthat these things happen.
You know they had an ocean view, whereas the other venue was,
you know, backed onto, it waslike an open I don't it was not
a creek, but like a big lake,but a big one.
Our beautiful venue was astunning venue, but ours had a
better outlook and everyoneafterwards was so grateful that
(04:08):
they ended up being there.
So these things always occur asthey're meant to occur and it's
best that you know now thingswill happen.
They do happen.
Your bridesmaid's dresses mightturn up and they're not the
right shade of green, thank you.
But no one else knows who comesto your wedding that things
(04:29):
aren't how they were meant to be.
You are the only person thatknows.
So no one else is pointing outthose things.
No one else is noticing.
They're not noticing that theplace cards aren't the ones that
you wanted.
They aren't noticing that theflower bouquets aren't exactly
the size that you wanted.
They're there, they are havingfun, they're enjoying it.
(04:50):
They're thinking everything isincredible, and you need to feel
that too, because I'm tellingyou it shows in your face.
I have seen so many brides,they've been so stressed out and
it shows they are not walkingdown that aisle glowing and
looking radiant, because you cansee the stress or the
frustration that they might havehad or the lack of sleep.
So it's so important to stayflexible for so many reasons
(05:16):
Also for your own sanity andyour partner's sanity and all
your friends and everyone elsewho's dealing with you and make
sure you just have really,really great relationships with
your vendors.
Because I'm telling you, if youhave that and you treat them
with kindness and you treat themhow you want to be treated,
they will bend over backwards.
If something's going to gowrong, they will go out of their
(05:38):
way to help you.
If your photographer's sick,they know other photographers.
The cake maker will know otherphotographers, the venue will
know other photographers and ifyou are good to them, they will
want to help you.
I actually remember seeing apost just recently a wedding
planner that I know at a GoldCoast venue.
He posted in the Gold Coastlike a Gold Coast wedding group
(06:01):
and he posted on his personalwedding page saying Desperate
does anybody know a weddingphotographer that can come to my
venue?
Now?
The photographer did not turnup and have already missed the
ceremony, but if we can capturesome shots before the reception
and during the reception, thatwill alleviate some of the
stress that the couple arefeeling Like.
(06:22):
Imagine that, imagine thatmoment happening.
But this is life, this is whathappens.
These things happen.
Now I don't know I actuallyshould follow that up.
I don't know, we don't know thephotographer could have had an
accident on the way.
I don't know.
I didn't, I haven't asked.
I'm going to ask actually afterthis.
I'm not sure what happened, butthese things occur and they
(06:45):
occur in life as well, not justin wedding planning.
So it's best now to understandthat.
You know, sometimes things justwon't go to plan, and that's
okay and we just work throughthem and it'll come out better.
But, like I said, have greatcommunication with your vendors,
because that will help, and beflexible.
(07:08):
Make flexibility yoursuperpower, because if it's your
superpower, you will just behappy with everything and the
planning will just feel so muchmore enjoyable and the day will
be so much better.
And just manage your ownexpectations as well throughout
the planning.
It's best to accept thingsgracefully as they occur during
(07:31):
planning.
Just gracefully handle thedeviations, because if you
handle it gracefully, it won'tfeel as intense and it will be
easier to work through insteadof flying off the handle,
getting mad, getting anxious,losing sleep over it, like that
is not how we want to enjoywedding planning and if we're
(07:52):
flexible and we're ready toaccept that sometimes things
might go wrong, then everythingis going to work out more
beautifully.
You won't notice, you justwon't notice.
And, like I said, the mainimportant thing is no one else
notices and I say this all thetime to bridal couples no one
else knows.
If things go wrong, don't worry, just keep on going.
(08:15):
Keep on going.
No one else knows.
And then the day after thewedding, get mad about it then.
But I'm telling you by then,honestly, you wake up the next
day after the wedding.
You're like oh my God, the daywas amazing, I had the best day.
But if you get caught up ingetting upset on the day or
you're looking for problems,then you're not going to have
(08:37):
really good memories.
You are there to marry the loveof your life and that is all
that matters.
As long as you get married andyou have a dance and a boogie,
then everything is perfect.
Everything is perfect.
I think I did this post insocial media.
Please come and follow me onInstagram.
It's my favorite.
I'm all on all the platforms,but I love Instagram the most
(09:00):
because I feel like I can builda bond with couples, and
particularly brides, and I canjust chat to brides in the DMs
and I just I love it.
I get to know you, I get toknow your wedding.
So please, if you not, come tomanage my wedding on Instagram
and follow me and say hi, tellme when your wedding is and tell
me you've been listening to thepodcast so we can chat.
(09:21):
But I did a post sorry, I wastrying to remember where I was
going with this because I wentoff track.
I did a post and it wassomething like if, at the end of
the day, you married the personthat you love, then everything
went perfectly and that'sliterally how it is.
That is the truth.
That is why you are gettingmarried.
It's not about having thisgorgeous dress and the best
(09:44):
flowers and all of that.
None of that matters.
Just marrying the person thatyou love is all that matters,
and if you go in there with thatperception, your wedding day
will be better than you everimagined, ever imagined.
So that is all I wanted toshare today.
I know that you're like, oh mygosh, she talked a lot to just
(10:05):
to talk about being flexible,but it's so important.
So embrace the things that gowrong.
Embrace those icky phone callsfrom a vendor that something's
canceled.
Embrace that those your weddingshoes weren't at the exact
color and just whatever it is ishow it was meant to be, and
(10:28):
take that on board in life aswell.
It's really really, reallyimportant.
As I get older and wiser, Ithink I think I'm getting wiser
as we get older, I am learningto embrace things exactly as
they are, and I always say to mykids it's perfect the way it is
, this is the way it's meant tobe.
Just accept that and I know, ifyou take this episode on board,
(10:51):
that you will really have atruly magical wedding day.
I know that you will.
So, yeah, be happy.
Don't say I don't wanna bringon change for you.
I just want you to embrace it.
If it's needed, be flexible and, until next time, enjoy being
engaged and staying stress-freeand organized while planning the
wedding of your dreams.
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