March 17, 2024 • 13 mins
There are often overlooked challenges of wedding planning that can silently sabotage your big day. From managing overwhelming tasks to dealing with family opinions and financial stress, Yvette Sitters reveals the hidden struggles that can turn your dream wedding into a nightmare. With practical advice and actionable steps, she helps listeners navigate through the complexities of wedding planning with confidence and ease. Learn how to break down tasks, stay organised, and enjoy the journey of planning the wedding of your dreams.
RESOURCES MENTIONED
Secrets to Planning the Best Wedding Ever: A FREE masterclass to save you time and money and give you your perfect dream day that everyone talks about forever. Access it at https://www.managemyweddingacademy.com/weddingmasterclass
Full Shownotes and Resources:
- For detailed information, additional tips, and resources mentioned in this episode, visit our website at https://managemywedding.com/blogs/news/the-silent-wedding-struggle-that-can-ruin-your-wedding
Ready to plan your dream wedding without the stress? Our free masterclass reveals how to avoid hidden costs, save 50+ hours of planning, create a seamless day-of schedule, and handle family opinions like a pro. Start now at https://www.managemyweddingacademy.com/weddingmasterclass and turn your wedding vision into a reality!
🤍
WEDDING MUST-HAVES:
- Download the Free Manage My Wedding App : Stay organised
- Secrets To Planning The Best Wedding Ever: Free masterclass without forgetting a single detail, staying calm through-out, and sticking to your budget.
- Stress-Free Countdown: Your Final 90-Day Wedding Guide: Don't overlook anything in your final weeks
- Additional Tools: For easy smooth planning
🤍
CONNECT WITH US:
- Win Wedding Prizes: Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and enter our monthly competitions.
- Follow Us on Social Media: For valuable wedding advice on Instagram and Facebook.
- Join Our Private Community: Connect with other couples in our private community for support and and plan your dre...
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Yvette Sitters (00:00):
Welcome to the Manage my Wedding podcast, where
we believe your wedding is themost important time in your life
and you deserve to feelsupported and organised when
planning the wedding of yourdreams.
I'm your host Yvette Sitters, .
Hello, welcome back to theManage my Wedding podcast.
Wedding planning can be so muchfun.
(00:22):
There are so many fun tasks todo, like dress shopping, hair
and makeup trials, menu tastingsbut there can also be the
tougher times.
You know those other things.
They're things we look forwardto and that we love and enjoy,
and we're getting spoiled andenjoying ourselves with our
family and friends.
But we all know that it'sextremely hard to juggle one
(00:47):
family opinions and two finances.
And the third one that's supertough to juggle is the guest
list.
Who's on the guest list?
But there is also anotherstruggle that I want to say is
more like the silent struggle,the one that can make you feel
overwhelmed and stressed, andit's something that affects the
(01:09):
fact that there's so many thingsto do.
And how can you ever getthrough them all without
forgetting something?
And what is that silent killerfor wedding planning?
And I'll tell you what it is.
It is the fact that there aresometimes like 10 tasks within
the one task, but on yourwedding checklist you only have
(01:31):
knowledge of that one task andwhen you go to tackle it it then
ends up taking way longer thanyou expected.
And because it takes longerthan you expected and because
that one task has so many littletasks within it, it ends up
being so overwhelming andstressful.
But we don't realize thatthat's what the problem is.
(01:52):
We just think, oh my gosh, hiswedding planning never, ever
ends.
I'm never going to get throughit and I feel like I have a
second full time job.
So that's why I'm calling itthe silent struggle, because
it's actually the fact that inone task a 10 smaller task.
So let's give you an example.
Right, you might be looking atyour chest checklist and the
(02:13):
next thing on that task list isinvites and that's all your
checklist says.
Your checklist says invites,but let's break down that one
task of invites.
One finalize the guest listnames.
That takes long enough.
Two create reserved list incase somebody can't come off the
(02:34):
original first list.
Three you've got to thenfinalize how to spell all the
names, because I remember havingto ask my parents how to spell
family members' names becauseI've got a big family.
Then you've got a number fourcollect everyone's addresses.
And then five you've also maybegot to collect emails and phone
numbers in case you're havingdigital invites.
(02:55):
Six you're going to spend hoursgoogling or pinning invites
that you like the look of Like.
That takes so long.
Task seven, within invites, isfinding your stationer or
somewhere you can DIY and makeit yourself and where you're
going to print it and everythinglike that.
And let me tell you be carefulon that number seven task,
(03:16):
because sometimes it's notcheaper and it's hours of work
more.
So you've got to make sure youweigh that up.
The eighth task is you've got towork out what wording sorry you
want on the invite.
That can take ages too, right,unless you're in my calm bride
planner where we give you allthe correct wording for tricky
(03:38):
situations so you can pick theright ones for you.
Because we've got to think ofwording.
You know our parents' name onthem, yes or no, what conflicts
are going to cause, and whatabout separated families?
And then what about no plusones?
And then what about sayingthere's no kids?
And you know that's trickyinvite wording.
That takes a long time too towork through.
Then number nine is not onlythe wording but you need to have
(04:02):
an idea of your wedding daytimings because you have to have
times on the invite, so you'vegot to have a rough draft of
your timings put together.
Then number 10, so this is stillthe invite task list, right?
This is the invites, that onetask that's on your checklist.
We're now up to number 10,which is then that you've got to
get the names to the stationeror print them yourself, and then
(04:23):
you've got to make them.
Then 11, you've got toproofread all the names are
correct when the invites aredone.
And then 12, if you're not ifyou you know posting you've got
to go to the post office to getthe stamps.
And 13, you've got to envelopethem all.
And then 14, you've got to takethem back to the post office to
get them posted.
(04:44):
And DIY can have more than thatbecause it takes so long
sometimes, right, but I justlisted 14 tasks within one task,
which was invites.
And, as I said, diy can takeeven longer and digital still
takes as much time as you've gotto navigate the platform you're
(05:05):
using.
And then you have to deal withpeople not getting your email
because they don't look in theirjunk or spam, because that's
where the digital invite went.
So that is just one example ofhow one task is actually broken
down into now 14 tasks and whyeverything becomes overwhelming
and exhausting.
Because you have to knowexactly what to do.
(05:27):
And in that one task and you'vegot to get onto it ASAP,
because your task list currentlymight look small, because
you're like, oh, there's only 10major tasks to do, but it's
maybe a hundred tasks, right,and I'm sorry, I'm not trying to
scare you, I'm just trying togive you a reality so you can
always stay ahead of that.
(05:47):
And let's do another one.
You might have wedding dress onyour task list, so one, you've
got to scroll and Google forhours to find the looks that you
might like.
Then, two, you've got to picksome stores to visit of the
dress you like.
Then, three, you've got to askfriends and family who are going
to come, what days and timesuit them, and everyone's busy
(06:08):
these days.
So, tanya, find a day and atime to suit everyone can be
impossible.
Four, you've got to contact allthe stores and book a time.
Five, you've then got to turnup and show up at all the
appointments, and sometimes thatcan be spread across a few days
.
Then six you've got to decidewhich you liked the most and go
back and maybe try it again andcheck the size and put the order
(06:29):
in is number seven.
Number eight you've got to makepayments.
Number nine you've got to goback to collect it.
Number 10 is you've got to getalterations and organise that.
And number 11, let's notmention the hours that they're
going to finding the appropriatematching wedding accessories
jewelry, you know, veil,earrings, whatever you need and
(06:51):
shoes and underwear.
So, with all the tasks, this iswhat causes wedding overwhelm
and feeling like you have asecond full-time job.
So that's why it's super, superimportant to know how to break
down each task and have a fulllist for each.
Now I break down another, evenlonger task list in my recent
(07:13):
secrets to planning the bestwedding ever masterclass and I
spill all my expert weddingplanning secrets so you don't
get caught not knowing whatyou're missing and wasting hours
of time googling what to do andwhen.
It's basically my stress-freeguide, so make sure you watch it
, as it's free to watch and itwill save you time and money
while you're wedding planning.
(07:34):
So it's linked in the shownotes, so please go there.
But if you're wanting to jumpto the website now to watch that
.
It's managemyweddingacademycomslash wedding masterclass.
So I highly highly recommendyou go and watch that, because
it's free to watch and, as Isaid, it'll help you save time
(07:55):
and money, which is superimportant.
Now, again, this episode it'snot to scare you about how much
it is to be done, but it's tohelp you understand how the
stress can creep in and why it'sthere.
You don't know what you don'tknow right.
So I like to help youunderstand that wedding planning
(08:18):
can be enjoyable with those funtasks that I mentioned at the
start, but it can also be a lot,and you just have to break it
down and you have to keep areally positive, organised
mindset right.
We have to constantly check inwith ourselves, and I've got so
many episodes on anxiety andstress and just staying positive
(08:40):
and getting in the rightmindset and doing things to help
that.
So that's super, superimportant.
So what can you do now?
Basically, though, fromlistening to this episode to
take action?
One, I'm going to give you twothings that I really want you to
do to help you.
One I want you to look at yournext couple of tasks on your
task list and see if you canbreak them down with as much
(09:04):
info as possible and work outexactly what tasks are within
that task.
So then you actually have anidea of how long that's going to
take you and whether you cannow get someone to help you as
well on that, and I want you towork through those couple of
tasks so that will help you.
Honestly, it'll make such a big, huge difference.
(09:27):
So go and do that.
That's step one, and thenaction number two.
Step two is I want you to watchthe free masterclass, as I
mentioned previously to help you.
So that'smanagemyweddingacademycom
forward slash weddingmasterclass.
They're the two actions I wantyou to take because I honestly
(09:49):
want you to enjoy planning andif you understand what needs to
be done within each task, youare going to enjoy it so much
more because you know what'snext.
What's the next step?
What's the next step?
What action do I need to taketo get me one more step closer?
Can we get overwhelmed andstressed, aside from it being,
(10:09):
as I mentioned, family opinionsand the finances, and what was
the other thing?
I'm trying to remember what theother thing was.
I said the stuff family at theguest list, like those three
things in themself can bestressful enough, right, but the
silent, silent killer forwedding overwhelming stress is
(10:30):
not knowing what task for withinthat task, and it's honestly
not something that's talkedabout a lot by any other wedding
planners.
Because they are thinking highlevel, let's find a venue.
That's what they think.
They don't think of all thelittle tasks that falling within
that.
So, yeah, I thought that thisepisode would really help you
understand how to move forwardwith your planning in such a
(10:52):
more clear way and such a waythat, once you have that written
out in front of you, it justcan relieve so much pressure
from your mind and help you feelcalmer.
And yes, it might seem like alot she like whoa, that's a lot
of things to do with one taskbut now you know what you need
to achieve.
So I hope that helped you and,as I said, all the links will be
(11:13):
in the show notes.
But, honestly, enjoy yourplanning, enjoy coming up with
checklists.
Who doesn't love a checklist?
How good does it feel when youtick things off like it feels
amazing.
So I wish you all the best.
Go take those two actions and,honestly, you'll enjoy planning
so much more and it will staysmooth for you.
So thank you for listening anduntil next time, enjoy being
(11:36):
engaged, stress free andorganized while planning the
wedding of your dreams.
Welcome to the Manage my Wedding podcast, where
we believe your wedding is themost important time in your life
and you deserve to feelsupported and organised when
planning the wedding of yourdreams.
I'm your host Yvette Sitters, .
Hello, welcome back to theManage my Wedding podcast.
Wedding planning can be so muchfun.
(00:22):
There are so many fun tasks todo, like dress shopping, hair
and makeup trials, menu tastingsbut there can also be the
tougher times.
You know those other things.
They're things we look forwardto and that we love and enjoy,
and we're getting spoiled andenjoying ourselves with our
family and friends.
But we all know that it'sextremely hard to juggle one
(00:47):
family opinions and two finances.
And the third one that's supertough to juggle is the guest
list.
Who's on the guest list?
But there is also anotherstruggle that I want to say is
more like the silent struggle,the one that can make you feel
overwhelmed and stressed, andit's something that affects the
(01:09):
fact that there's so many thingsto do.
And how can you ever getthrough them all without
forgetting something?
And what is that silent killerfor wedding planning?
And I'll tell you what it is.
It is the fact that there aresometimes like 10 tasks within
the one task, but on yourwedding checklist you only have
(01:31):
knowledge of that one task andwhen you go to tackle it it then
ends up taking way longer thanyou expected.
And because it takes longerthan you expected and because
that one task has so many littletasks within it, it ends up
being so overwhelming andstressful.
But we don't realize thatthat's what the problem is.
(01:52):
We just think, oh my gosh, hiswedding planning never, ever
ends.
I'm never going to get throughit and I feel like I have a
second full time job.
So that's why I'm calling itthe silent struggle, because
it's actually the fact that inone task a 10 smaller task.
So let's give you an example.
Right, you might be looking atyour chest checklist and the
(02:13):
next thing on that task list isinvites and that's all your
checklist says.
Your checklist says invites,but let's break down that one
task of invites.
One finalize the guest listnames.
That takes long enough.
Two create reserved list incase somebody can't come off the
(02:34):
original first list.
Three you've got to thenfinalize how to spell all the
names, because I remember havingto ask my parents how to spell
family members' names becauseI've got a big family.
Then you've got a number fourcollect everyone's addresses.
And then five you've also maybegot to collect emails and phone
numbers in case you're havingdigital invites.
(02:55):
Six you're going to spend hoursgoogling or pinning invites
that you like the look of Like.
That takes so long.
Task seven, within invites, isfinding your stationer or
somewhere you can DIY and makeit yourself and where you're
going to print it and everythinglike that.
And let me tell you be carefulon that number seven task,
(03:16):
because sometimes it's notcheaper and it's hours of work
more.
So you've got to make sure youweigh that up.
The eighth task is you've got towork out what wording sorry you
want on the invite.
That can take ages too, right,unless you're in my calm bride
planner where we give you allthe correct wording for tricky
(03:38):
situations so you can pick theright ones for you.
Because we've got to think ofwording.
You know our parents' name onthem, yes or no, what conflicts
are going to cause, and whatabout separated families?
And then what about no plusones?
And then what about sayingthere's no kids?
And you know that's trickyinvite wording.
That takes a long time too towork through.
Then number nine is not onlythe wording but you need to have
(04:02):
an idea of your wedding daytimings because you have to have
times on the invite, so you'vegot to have a rough draft of
your timings put together.
Then number 10, so this is stillthe invite task list, right?
This is the invites, that onetask that's on your checklist.
We're now up to number 10,which is then that you've got to
get the names to the stationeror print them yourself, and then
(04:23):
you've got to make them.
Then 11, you've got toproofread all the names are
correct when the invites aredone.
And then 12, if you're not ifyou you know posting you've got
to go to the post office to getthe stamps.
And 13, you've got to envelopethem all.
And then 14, you've got to takethem back to the post office to
get them posted.
(04:44):
And DIY can have more than thatbecause it takes so long
sometimes, right, but I justlisted 14 tasks within one task,
which was invites.
And, as I said, diy can takeeven longer and digital still
takes as much time as you've gotto navigate the platform you're
(05:05):
using.
And then you have to deal withpeople not getting your email
because they don't look in theirjunk or spam, because that's
where the digital invite went.
So that is just one example ofhow one task is actually broken
down into now 14 tasks and whyeverything becomes overwhelming
and exhausting.
Because you have to knowexactly what to do.
(05:27):
And in that one task and you'vegot to get onto it ASAP,
because your task list currentlymight look small, because
you're like, oh, there's only 10major tasks to do, but it's
maybe a hundred tasks, right,and I'm sorry, I'm not trying to
scare you, I'm just trying togive you a reality so you can
always stay ahead of that.
(05:47):
And let's do another one.
You might have wedding dress onyour task list, so one, you've
got to scroll and Google forhours to find the looks that you
might like.
Then, two, you've got to picksome stores to visit of the
dress you like.
Then, three, you've got to askfriends and family who are going
to come, what days and timesuit them, and everyone's busy
(06:08):
these days.
So, tanya, find a day and atime to suit everyone can be
impossible.
Four, you've got to contact allthe stores and book a time.
Five, you've then got to turnup and show up at all the
appointments, and sometimes thatcan be spread across a few days
.
Then six you've got to decidewhich you liked the most and go
back and maybe try it again andcheck the size and put the order
(06:29):
in is number seven.
Number eight you've got to makepayments.
Number nine you've got to goback to collect it.
Number 10 is you've got to getalterations and organise that.
And number 11, let's notmention the hours that they're
going to finding the appropriatematching wedding accessories
jewelry, you know, veil,earrings, whatever you need and
(06:51):
shoes and underwear.
So, with all the tasks, this iswhat causes wedding overwhelm
and feeling like you have asecond full-time job.
So that's why it's super, superimportant to know how to break
down each task and have a fulllist for each.
Now I break down another, evenlonger task list in my recent
(07:13):
secrets to planning the bestwedding ever masterclass and I
spill all my expert weddingplanning secrets so you don't
get caught not knowing whatyou're missing and wasting hours
of time googling what to do andwhen.
It's basically my stress-freeguide, so make sure you watch it
, as it's free to watch and itwill save you time and money
while you're wedding planning.
(07:34):
So it's linked in the shownotes, so please go there.
But if you're wanting to jumpto the website now to watch that
.
It's managemyweddingacademycomslash wedding masterclass.
So I highly highly recommendyou go and watch that, because
it's free to watch and, as Isaid, it'll help you save time
(07:55):
and money, which is superimportant.
Now, again, this episode it'snot to scare you about how much
it is to be done, but it's tohelp you understand how the
stress can creep in and why it'sthere.
You don't know what you don'tknow right.
So I like to help youunderstand that wedding planning
(08:18):
can be enjoyable with those funtasks that I mentioned at the
start, but it can also be a lot,and you just have to break it
down and you have to keep areally positive, organised
mindset right.
We have to constantly check inwith ourselves, and I've got so
many episodes on anxiety andstress and just staying positive
(08:40):
and getting in the rightmindset and doing things to help
that.
So that's super, superimportant.
So what can you do now?
Basically, though, fromlistening to this episode to
take action?
One, I'm going to give you twothings that I really want you to
do to help you.
One I want you to look at yournext couple of tasks on your
task list and see if you canbreak them down with as much
(09:04):
info as possible and work outexactly what tasks are within
that task.
So then you actually have anidea of how long that's going to
take you and whether you cannow get someone to help you as
well on that, and I want you towork through those couple of
tasks so that will help you.
Honestly, it'll make such a big, huge difference.
(09:27):
So go and do that.
That's step one, and thenaction number two.
Step two is I want you to watchthe free masterclass, as I
mentioned previously to help you.
So that'smanagemyweddingacademycom
forward slash weddingmasterclass.
They're the two actions I wantyou to take because I honestly
(09:49):
want you to enjoy planning andif you understand what needs to
be done within each task, youare going to enjoy it so much
more because you know what'snext.
What's the next step?
What's the next step?
What action do I need to taketo get me one more step closer?
Can we get overwhelmed andstressed, aside from it being,
(10:09):
as I mentioned, family opinionsand the finances, and what was
the other thing?
I'm trying to remember what theother thing was.
I said the stuff family at theguest list, like those three
things in themself can bestressful enough, right, but the
silent, silent killer forwedding overwhelming stress is
(10:30):
not knowing what task for withinthat task, and it's honestly
not something that's talkedabout a lot by any other wedding
planners.
Because they are thinking highlevel, let's find a venue.
That's what they think.
They don't think of all thelittle tasks that falling within
that.
So, yeah, I thought that thisepisode would really help you
understand how to move forwardwith your planning in such a
(10:52):
more clear way and such a waythat, once you have that written
out in front of you, it justcan relieve so much pressure
from your mind and help you feelcalmer.
And yes, it might seem like alot she like whoa, that's a lot
of things to do with one taskbut now you know what you need
to achieve.
So I hope that helped you and,as I said, all the links will be
(11:13):
in the show notes.
But, honestly, enjoy yourplanning, enjoy coming up with
checklists.
Who doesn't love a checklist?
How good does it feel when youtick things off like it feels
amazing.
So I wish you all the best.
Go take those two actions and,honestly, you'll enjoy planning
so much more and it will staysmooth for you.
So thank you for listening anduntil next time, enjoy being
(11:36):
engaged, stress free andorganized while planning the
wedding of your dreams.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.