Break the Deep-End Flailing Cycle: How to Stop Drowning and Start Leading

Hey hey friend,

In this episode, we’re talking all about that wild, wobbly feeling of being thrown into management without a life jacket—flailing, not sailing, and wondering when the lifeboat is coming!

We get real about the “supposed to’s” and “shoulds” that leave us treading water in a sea of shame, and why sometimes, the container (not just the swimmer!) needs fixing. From surprise promotions to juggling a million roles, we’re sharing our own splashy stories and reminding you: you’re not alone in the kiddie pool OR the open ocean.

So grab your goggles, take a deep breath, and join us for some laughs, a little wisdom, and a whole lot of heart. We’re here to help you float, not just flail.

xo,

Kishshana & Maria 💌

Tune in to hear:

• How to keep your head above water when you’re promoted without a life jacket (or a manual)
• How to spot and shake off the “shoulds” and “supposed to’s” that lead to shame-spirals
• How to manage challenging team members (and your own expectations) without sinking

Episode Overview

• (00:07) Welcome & Setting the Scene: Flailing in Management  
• (02:00) The “Supposed To’s” and Shame Spirals  
• (04:30) When You’re Promoted Without Preparation  
• (07:00) The Struggle with Difficult Team Members  
• (10:00) Strategies for Staying Afloat (and Finding Joy)  
• (13:00) Nourishing Yourself & Your Relationships
• (15:00) Self-Care at Work: Boundaries & Aromatherapy  
• (17:00) Speaking Up: Sharing Struggles and Asking for Help  
• (19:00) Askers vs. Guessers: Team Communication Styles  
• (21:00) Celebrating Wins—Big, Small, and Everyday
• (23:00) Staying Flexible & Remembering Your “Why”  
• (25:00) The Power of Check-Ins & Community Support  
• (27:00) Reciprocity: Giving and Receiving Help  

Powerful Quotes

"If you're saying a whole lot of should, you're probably feeling a whole lot of shame." - Maria

"I want this to be excellent, not only because I'm a part of it, but because I'm supporting you." - Maria

"I am like, what the heck am I gonna do about fill in the blank, right? But I'm not having this, like, hyperventilating." - Kishshana

"There should be a ritual in your life every day that honors your accomplishments, just in that day." - Maria

"Sometimes I think when you are looking out there, you're not seeing the daily work happening within yourself." - Maria

"I am just standing at this place where the work before me is about to be real tough, and I'm just sick of being a soldier in the army of the Lord, and would like to be on Ready Reserve." - Kishshana

"We have done a really good job of performing swimming. We have done a really good job of starting for the gram on the yacht." - Kishshana

"If you are a manager, and even if you're not a good manager, if you have a good team, it is harder to flail, because they don't want you flailing." - Kishshana

"You gotta start by acknowledging what you don't know and seeking resources to fill in those gaps." - Kishshana

"If you are flailing as a manager and you can't remember the last time you did something for yourself, with yourself and by yourself, then we are inviting you into an opportunity to nourish yourself." - Kishshana

"So breaking that cycle, it starts with admitting you're in it. This is what I need, is admitting that you're in a thing and then taking proactive steps to swim and not to sink." - Kishshana

Let’s go deeper 👇🏾

📖 Get Kishshana’s Book https://kishshanapalmer.com/book ...