October 6, 2025 • 52 mins
If the internet makes life feel like a race, this conversation is a deep breath. We sit down with three sharp Gen Z voices who talk plainly about growing up fast, protecting identity in a noisy feed, and choosing discipline over hacks. From chivalry being mislabeled as “soft” to the quiet power of staying home to save, they cut through the optics game and focus on what actually compounds over a decade: character, community, and consistent effort.
We explore how comparison creeps in and how one guest solved it by quitting social media altogether—treating the feed as noise that programs you, not a mirror that reveals you. Dating gets real, too: opening doors, paying the check, and staying calm in conflict shouldn’t earn ridicule. Toughness is for the world; tenderness is for the person you love. The group also confronts civic reality—opt out if you want, but local judges, school boards, and sheriffs still shape your life. It’s not about partisanship; it’s about literacy in the systems that touch your street.
When money and independence come up, we challenge the “debt as status” culture. A paid-off car beats financed identity, and living with family to build runway can be strategy, not shame. Budgeting and bills deliver humbling lessons; the antidote is planning, patience, and long-view thinking. Mental health rounds it out with three workable lanes: family-first vulnerability, therapy plus intergenerational circles, or knowledge-as-sanctuary through books like The Alchemist and Ikigai. No single approach wins; what matters is doing the work and refusing silence.
What emerges is a map for the next ten years: curate your inputs, set firm boundaries, pick the right vehicle, and apply what you learn until it sticks. If you’ve been craving honest talk about identity, dating, finance, and mental health—without the clichés—this one will stay with you. If it resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a quick review so more people can find these conversations. What’s one long-term goal you’re ready to commit to today?
Resources Mentioned:
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho / Ikigai by Hector Garcia & Francesc Miralles
Email us at manhoodmatterspodcast@gmail.com
Follow us on all Socials: Manhood Matters Podcast
Host: StéphaneAlexandre
IG: @stephanealexandreofficial
Music by Liam Weisner
Sponsored by www.OnsiteLabs.net
(833) 878-3323
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_07 (00:00):
But can nobody can take it from you.
It's your car.
And I think that the details arewhat everybody's focused on.
It's not the big picture.
It's the details.
Like, how can we make thisperson more insecure?
How can we make this person wantsomething else?
SPEAKER_05 (00:12):
Damn.
SPEAKER_07 (00:13):
Want more.
And I'm not saying becomfortable.
You should always want more, butstay where you're at.
Don't put yourself into a badsituation to please the mass.
Because I promise you, once youstart to struggle, the masses
will not help you.
100%.
Once they come and get all yourstuff, and all you got is your
mom's bedroom.
That's why a lot of people aregoing back to living at home, by
the way.
SPEAKER_05 (00:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (00:30):
It's because they've lost everything trying to save
face.
SPEAKER_03 (00:34):
I promised you an amazing show today, and here it
is.
I know a lot of people my age,oftentimes when we look at the
state of the world today, wefeel that things are bleak and
things are headed in the wrongdirection.
We don't have a lot of faith inhumanity.
We don't know what AI is gonnado.
But after this conversationtoday, you will feel the way I
(00:56):
felt.
Listening to these three youngpeople, all in their 20s, all
Gen Z.
They give me hope.
And I think they will do thesame for you.
They are super smart, inspiring,poised, beyond mature for their
age.
And I wanted to know what it'slike to be a Gen Zier in 2025.
What challenges they face, theapproach it with grace,
(01:20):
knowledge, and so much wisdom.
So if you yourself are fromtheir generation, you will
greatly benefit from this.
And if you have children thatage, you don't want to miss this
episode.
I appreciate you guys for tuningin.
SPEAKER_02 (01:34):
Welcome to Man Who It Matters.
Let's get to it.
(01:54):
What's up, guys?
Hello.
SPEAKER_03 (01:56):
Hello.
Yeah, we're back.
I have with me a special co-hosttoday, Nai.
Hey baby.
SPEAKER_06 (02:03):
Hello.
SPEAKER_03 (02:04):
Can't wait for you to start your own pod.
SPEAKER_06 (02:06):
One day.
SPEAKER_03 (02:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (02:07):
Coming soon.
SPEAKER_03 (02:08):
Gotcha.
Can't wait.
SPEAKER_06 (02:09):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (02:10):
And we have Julian in the house and Christian, aka
Kiki.
Good to be back.
Yeah, man.
Good to have you.
What's up, Kiki?
How are you?
Good, man.
So the conversation today isgoing to be about young men and
challenges that you guys arefacing on a daily basis.
(02:31):
Cool.
Yeah, I just want to know whatit's like because it's a
different era.
I wasn't forced to grow up asquickly.
And I feel like you guys havehad to grow up a lot quicker
than I did.
That's the first thing thatcomes to mind when I think
about, you know, like me in my20s versus you in your 20s.
Right.
Because I was doing childishthings in my 20s.
So have you guys uh at allcontemplated that and seeing how
(02:55):
um how it compares?
SPEAKER_04 (02:57):
I mean, I've personally talked to my dad and
a few other adults about theiruh young adult days.
I'm not gonna put my dad'sbusiness out there, but he has
told me that he enjoyed himself,at least he was free, enjoyed
his time, enjoyed being young.
I think we definitely still dothat, but you're right, a lot of
(03:19):
our generation had to grow uppretty early for it's it's hard
to say, but everyone hasdifferent reasons, you know.
But I think the technologydefinitely played a part in
speeding that process up.
SPEAKER_03 (03:30):
Yeah, for better or for worse, I kind of feel like
it definitely did, right?
Because you're thinking aboutyou get to see the entire world.
SPEAKER_04 (03:37):
Your world is a lot smaller than ours is.
SPEAKER_03 (03:39):
It was.
Let's start with youspecifically.
So you're a professionalathlete.
Do you feel that had somethingto do with it?
I guess be your own steward.
SPEAKER_04 (03:47):
Uh, I would say so, yes.
Um, because this was kind of thecareer path that I was set on
for pretty much my entire life,ever since I was a kid.
It was just what I was gonna do.
There was no other option.
There was no plan B.
There still really isn't.
Which I don't know is if it's agood thing, but you know, the
way that I was raised, I've kindof had my mind set on one thing,
and that's the thing.
(04:07):
Yeah.
You don't really change that,you don't detour from that.
SPEAKER_03 (04:11):
Yeah.
You don't want to renegotiatethe contract that you set for
yourself.
SPEAKER_04 (04:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (04:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_13 (04:16):
Well, me and myself, I'm still looking for what I
want to do.
You know, I don't have a setpath.
I'm still discovering, I'm stillfinding new things to do,
different jobs.
Just got back into door to doorto try that out once again.
But yeah, I do have a dream.
That dream is to go to schooland uh I do want to major in
nursing.
(04:36):
That's the ultimate goal.
I'm not sure if I'm taking theright steps to get there.
That's news to me.
I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_08 (04:41):
I was about to say, wait a minute.
SPEAKER_13 (04:43):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (04:43):
Okay.
Did you know that?
SPEAKER_08 (04:44):
Team Julian, no, but I don't.
SPEAKER_03 (04:46):
How about identity, especially with social media?
Do you find that it's easy tostill know who you are, or do
you find that you guys get lostin the noise a little bit if
you're being honest withyourselves, seeing a lot of the
lies on social media, because alot of it is just make-belief,
but it still creates thisillusion of a race, so to speak,
(05:09):
right?
Like this is where my peers are.
This is what I'm trying toaccomplish.
These people are already so farahead of me.
Do you guys find that pressureto be something that you care
about?
Or does it impact you in anykind of way?
SPEAKER_13 (05:20):
It does impact me a little bit, like seeing,
especially friends, seeing thatthey're where I guess I should
be at.
They were in college like rightout of high school, and they're
still on that path to get totheir career.
So and they're always postingabout it.
So it does like hit me a littlebit, like that's where I could
be, but not to the point whereI'm like, it's bringing me down
(05:41):
to where I should give up.
If anything, it's kind ofmotivational.
Seeing them there, and I'm like,I can be that eventually.
It's not like something I haveto hurry up and get together
just so I can get there.
Like I have time, but time isalso not infinite.
It puts a little pressure, butit's also motivational at the
same time.
SPEAKER_02 (05:58):
Okay.
I could see that.
How about you?
SPEAKER_04 (06:01):
Um, I think personally I've done a good job
at avoiding that because uh it'sbeen a while now, you know.
So I've gone like, what is it,two years now?
Maybe three years, maybe longer,yeah.
With no social media.
I learned really early on thatcomparison is the thief of joy,
you know, that's talked about alot.
Yeah.
I learned that pretty early onfor my parents and just social
environments.
Yeah.
Um for the career path that Ihad to take, social media will
(06:24):
play a part in the future.
You know, it helps with brand.
But for me right now, I justconsider it noise.
It just feels like a lot ofnoise that is quite unnecessary.
And I feel like it does a lot ofprogramming, and you know,
that's but that's a whole nothertopic.
I do agree that social media hasa certain influence on um I
guess preserving your character,manipulating your character to
(06:47):
be something that you're not, orto want to be something that you
shouldn't be, something thatisn't truly you.
But yeah, I think I've donefairly well for myself
preventing that from even beinga possibility of manipulating
what I believe to be my truecharacter.
SPEAKER_03 (07:02):
I think there's gotta be like one less than one
percent of people who actuallyhave access and choose not to
get on social media.
I know one other person likethat, and he's in his 40s.
He's on social media, but likeif you tag him or something, he
won't see it for like eightmonths.
He's like, I I'm not even onthere.
How have you realized that?
Have you have you been able tostay away from the distractions,
(07:24):
the temptation?
SPEAKER_04 (07:26):
Uh I'll say probably two things.
My parents being one, and secondthing, I guess just the desire
to do what I want to do.
And I know that what I want todo has to come with certain
responsibilities and certainsacrifices.
I had to deem what wasnecessary, and I deemed it was
necessary to remove myself fromthat.
SPEAKER_03 (07:44):
Yeah.
For me, it sounds like man,that'd be super hard right now.
SPEAKER_04 (07:48):
Yeah.
Right?
You you'd think, but after awhile, it feels like nothing's
there.
It's just gone.
SPEAKER_13 (07:53):
How long you don't think about it?
Sorry to interrupt you.
How about how long did it takefor you to like for it to be
routine?
Stop not to stop itching.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (08:01):
I can't tell you, honestly.
I don't remember.
I I wish I could tell you, but Ithink I already kind of had a a
discontent for it.
You know, I didn't really likeit before I got rid of it, so it
wasn't really that difficultafter, you know.
It was just like finally donewith this.
Gotcha.
SPEAKER_07 (08:16):
When it comes to the young men of this generation, I
always want to like poke youguys' brains, obviously, for
some of my own benefit.
But part of it too is I like tounderstand the way that you guys
think.
And I think that this generationhas narrowed the perspective in
almost every single avenue andincreased cancel culture.
(08:37):
So I guess is it hard with theidentity question?
I wanted to tag on to that.
Is it difficult sometimes tohave your own opinions, speak
your mind, set your ownboundaries, think this way, but
also think this way?
Or have you found yourselfgrouping yourself into one
mindset because it iscomfortable for our generation
(08:58):
to accept you in that way?
I feel like the generationsbefore they were allowed to have
these ideas, these perspectives.
They were allowed to be likemini gypsies everywhere.
But for us, it's like you thinkone way, and if you think this
way, this is the way that youbehave, especially when it comes
to like dating and politics andfriendships and how they raise
their children.
Like everything right now isjust so micro like control.
(09:22):
Oh, it's sick.
SPEAKER_13 (09:23):
It's crazy how this generation is.
SPEAKER_07 (09:24):
It is, it is, and I think that the pressure is more
so on the men.
SPEAKER_13 (09:29):
I agree.
SPEAKER_07 (09:30):
So how are you guys dealing with that?
It's different.
It's different, but it'sinteresting.
I would love to hear.
SPEAKER_13 (09:35):
So I really hope that this answers your question.
But at the end of the day, I'mme.
I'm Julian.
It did take me a while to learnthis, I guess, because you know,
I did grow up like hearing, youknow, if you think this way,
don't talk to me.
If you think this way, you'rethis, this, this, and that.
But I'm allowed to have my ownopinions.
I'm my own man.
If you don't agree with what Ihave to say or what what I
(09:56):
think, you don't have to bearound me if you don't want to.
You know, that's with society asa whole.
I can still be friends with youif you think differently.
That's how things were backthen.
Why can't it be like that now?
Uh that's how I stand on it, youknow.
I'm me, and then you're you.
Kiki's Kiki.
My dad is my dad.
SPEAKER_07 (10:11):
Just set those boundaries.
SPEAKER_13 (10:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (10:13):
If the perspectives start to, you know, create
something where the energy isalways gonna be weird when you
interact, it's sure.
SPEAKER_13 (10:19):
If there's tension, then I'll learn to exclude
myself, exclude myself from thesituation.
I don't have to stick aroundwith that.
unknown (10:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (10:24):
What about you, Kiki?
How are you your own man in thisgeneration?
SPEAKER_04 (10:28):
I think the best way that I've found is just to not
speak about things that youdon't know about.
SPEAKER_13 (10:36):
You just if the world could be philosophy.
SPEAKER_09 (10:40):
Say it one more time.
SPEAKER_13 (10:41):
But people in the back.
SPEAKER_09 (10:42):
With some bass in your voice.
Mind your business and speak onwhat you know about.
SPEAKER_04 (10:47):
That's that's just the way that I found it to be
the easiest.
And quite frankly, there's justa lot I don't know about.
Try not to speak about anythingpolitical, really, because I
just don't follow politics.
It's not for me.
I feel like that's just a worldI don't even want to be involved
in.
SPEAKER_08 (11:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (11:01):
You won't have a choice, buddy.
That's not how the world works.
I understand.
Unless you pretty much move toyour own tiny little island.
Everything other people do willimpact you.
SPEAKER_04 (11:11):
That's the goal, man.
I want to be living with thehundred-year-olds in Okinawa and
Chipotle.
I'll hear you, I hear you.
Sipping tea.
SPEAKER_03 (11:17):
But even then, you'll have to vote for the
local governor of whatever isgoing on there.
But I hear you, I hear you.
I love that philosophy.
So your approach is more of aninquisitive approach.
So if you're going to speak onsomething and you don't know
much about it, you ask.
SPEAKER_04 (11:32):
I'll ask, yeah.
But I'm just not gonna publiclygo out and say something just
because the mass is.
If I don't know, I don't know.
I'm not gonna say something Idon't understand.
SPEAKER_03 (11:40):
Yeah.
So I respect that, right?
Because that that makes a lot ofsense.
I mean, you just made a verypowerful statement, right?
If I don't know about it, Iwon't speak on it.
I think that what someone frommy generation would say is be
involved in a way.
And and you're right, if you'regoing to be a recluse, right,
and you're going to livesomewhere and have your own
little spot, be off-grid, youknow, solar power, got your own
(12:01):
chickens and whatnot.
Yeah, it's possible.
But unfortunately, it's a globalworld.
Everything's interconnected.
And someone that you have noidea is controlling your fate
could be controlling it simplybecause they have eminent
domain.
So that little piece of landthat you bought, one day they
knock on your door and go, Yeah,you gotta sell.
You go, No, I'm not.
This is where I'm gonna die.
(12:21):
And they go, Yeah, we're gonnaput a pipeline right through
here.
So this is what it says, yougotta go.
And the reason you didn't knowthat is because the person you
didn't vote for allowed that tohappen.
Yeah, so politics impact all ofus.
I used to say the same thing.
I don't I hate politics, I don'twant to be involved, I don't
care.
And then I realized it's notjust the president, the
(12:42):
governor, but it's every singleperson.
You you're not voting for thesheriff for your local sheriff,
you're making a mistake.
You're not voting for your localjudges, you're making a mistake.
So wherever you live, you gottapay attention to what's
happening there because thepeople that are by default are
gonna be put in place to runyour life without you knowing,
(13:02):
they have a huge impact on you.
SPEAKER_07 (13:04):
Another one for me is how, because I know both of
you.
I know your hearts, I know howyou were raised, I know the type
of young men that you are.
So, how have you navigated beinga gentleman in this generation?
Because I feel like um, and thisis just from you haven't been on
social media much, so you don'tknow the rates.
SPEAKER_04 (13:22):
I I I know.
But um not that far off.
SPEAKER_07 (13:25):
Chivalry is not dead, not in my mind, and never
will be, but it's definitely notas celebrated, and there are
names given to men that aresimply just gentlemen.
And so, how have you navigatedopen just everything is
something for something?
I feel like before a young manopens a door, a young man treats
on a date, there's just certainthings a young man checks in to
(13:47):
like for a sign of life for awoman that he's pursuing every
single day.
There's just certain things nowwhere it's like, uh-uh, 50-50.
I need to be getting something,I'm not paying for this, I'm not
doing that, I'm not it's justvery strange.
And if a woman is expecting tobe treated a certain way, a man
is called names, for instance.
It's called tricking, or he'ssoft, or he doesn't understand
(14:11):
the game, you know, and it'sjust so strange to me because I
don't understand it, and I feelbad for the men that that's just
the way that they are, that'sjust the way that they date,
that's just the way that theytake care of the lady in their
life.
They're straight presenting men,so it makes sense.
SPEAKER_03 (14:25):
So who's calling these men that other men.
Oh, other men.
So there's men because I'm not pthey're not pursuing men, so it
who gives a shit.
SPEAKER_07 (14:32):
No, that's the thing.
That's that's what I'm thinking.
They might be but well, to kissthat out.
unknown (14:36):
Okay.
SPEAKER_07 (14:37):
But also women though, bitter women.
So bitter young ladies thataren't getting the treatment
that they want, or they'redealing with men that probably
shouldn't be dating at all.
They have no business datingbecause they can't take care of
themselves.
So then you go and you date thisman that's struggling but want
ac wants access to you.
So then you end up in thishorrible situation.
Now you're making fun of thegood guys.
(14:58):
So I see a lot of good guys thatare slowing down on being good
because they don't want to betaken advantage of.
And it's making dating a littlebit difficult for them, at least
for the male friends that Ihave.
They would be that way.
They were taught to date thatway, but they're just not
interested in either being takenadvantage of or just all around
(15:18):
looking like a clown.
So they're changing their datingstyle.
So obviously, it's very, verydifferent from how our parents
used to date back then.
Obviously, you guys know thatthere's a difference.
SPEAKER_12 (15:26):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (15:26):
So, do you think that this generation has changed
the way that you date and pursueyoung women?
SPEAKER_13 (15:32):
Not personally.
I'm still gonna be a gentlemanto any girl that lets me.
And it is difficult to date inthis generation for sure,
because they have a lot ofexpectations that I may not
qualify for in their mind.
But it's to me, it's justwaiting for that girl that will
allow me to be a gentleman.
(15:53):
Cause I love to open the door.
I would love to pay the check,check for signs of life, you
know, doing all the stuff that Ifeel like I should be doing.
But it's exactly like you said,like you get called names for
doing that.
I got called soft a couple oftimes.
More girls.
SPEAKER_03 (16:09):
Exactly.
But girls to call you that?
SPEAKER_07 (16:12):
Yes, I'm telling you, it's weird out here.
SPEAKER_03 (16:13):
I'm petty as shit.
So for me For me, all I hope isthat you find a nigga to beat
your head.
That's all I'm waiting on, so Ican be there laughing.
Because I'm gonna find me abeautiful woman that who's
understand who's classy andunderstands what she's worth.
SPEAKER_05 (16:28):
Meanwhile, because your life meanwhile, you have to
get a beat over there.
SPEAKER_03 (16:31):
It's a hard dude.
You know what I'm saying?
Because that's the thing.
You so you find someone who's agentleman, you find someone who
wants to take care of you, youfind someone who protects you.
SPEAKER_08 (16:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (16:39):
Because soft would come this way.
To me, the only way a womanwould call me soft for it to
make sense, is if you can'ttrust yourself to walk down a
dark alley with me.
If you're like, nah, if we'regonna go to the subway in New
York, you ain't the guy, then Iunderstand why you feel
concerned.
SPEAKER_07 (16:52):
Men are approaching me and I'm right in front of
you, and you're not sayinganything else.
SPEAKER_03 (16:55):
If you're not saying exactly, you know, it's or I
don't feel safe, then Iunderstand.
You know, because there's smalldudes with big hearts.
So it doesn't really matter ifyou're a small guy.
Right.
Right.
But there's a lot of people whoare, you know, not comfortable
being in your presence becauseyou're just kind of a scaredy
cat or whatever.
But if you're not that dude,anything else, because I'm
(17:16):
supposed to be tough to theentire world, but not with you.
SPEAKER_13 (17:18):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (17:19):
I'm supposed to be wearing this armor.
I'm supposed to have my shieldand my sword ready to fight the
entire world, but not with you.
With you, I put this shit down.
That's it.
Like what the hell?
SPEAKER_07 (17:29):
But that's what I'm saying.
It's when you're dating andpursuing someone, you can never
actually get to the talking andgetting to know everybody
because everybody's sofascinated with things like
social media.
It could be very vain.
So I do agree with taking breaksfrom that.
But there are some women thatbelieve that that toxicity and
that aggressiveness and thatpressure is what the man should
be doing to show that he caresabout you, to show that he loves
(17:52):
you.
So him not even wanting to goback and forth with a woman
because that's just what heknows is that's not the right
way to do anything.
That's him being soft.
Like I hit you with somethingcrazy, you're supposed to hit me
with something back, and you'rejust like, you got it.
Yeah, you're not sure.
I don't want to do that with youright now.
We'll talk later when you'recalm.
That is soft.
SPEAKER_03 (18:08):
Shit, I'm taking over because it's too easy for
me.
Because there comes a point.
Here's what I'm used to.
So there comes a point.
Here's what happens.
I'm not sure at what age ithits.
Yeah, down to what I wear, downto everything, we just don't
care.
I won't say things that areoffensive to people, right?
But I don't care at all aboutyour opinion of me.
(18:30):
To me, it blows my mind to knowthat you have to deal with this.
But I'll be honest with you, wedealt with it back then too.
It just wasn't as advertised andit wasn't in your Facebook
social media.
Right.
I have talked to women who havesaid that because they were in a
relationship where it wasabusive or the guy was really,
really jealous, and I wasn't, Idon't care enough because I'm
not acting all jealous andcrazy.
(18:51):
I'm like, that's not who I am.
SPEAKER_05 (18:53):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (18:53):
So that's a little That shouldn't be who he is
either.
SPEAKER_07 (18:55):
All of you guys need therapy.
SPEAKER_03 (18:56):
Yeah, exactly.
But I'm like, yo, exactly.
But that's not a new thing.
Yeah.
Women who've dealt with abuseand who've dealt with who have
accepted it as normal, they wantit to be normal for you as well.
This is normal in my world.
Why aren't you acting as crazyas my ex?
SPEAKER_13 (19:13):
They want you to change for them.
And I don't believe in that.
I'm gonna be me.
Yeah.
Like I said before.
And you if you don't want that,then you don't get me.
SPEAKER_03 (19:21):
Exactly.
Christian, you've been quiet,man.
What's your take on this wholebeing a gentleman and being who
you are?
SPEAKER_04 (19:27):
Um, I think again, I'm just lucky that I was raised
right.
I had a great father, and that'sa thing that's missing right
now.
I think a key piece in why menaren't being men in this
generation is definitelyfatherhood.
You need your fathers, boys needtheir fathers.
They need direction, andunfortunately, because of social
media, a lot of male directionis there.
(19:48):
Like it's all online.
So if they're not learning fromtheir fathers, they're learning
for what they see online.
Yeah.
And that's just swaying themasses as it always does with
everything.
Yes.
What social media does sways theopinions.
Yeah.
Right.
Sways what you learn.
SPEAKER_07 (20:03):
Things that make sense all of a sudden are being
debated.
SPEAKER_04 (20:05):
But the thing is, uh, again, about this uh
relationship and dating, when Ihad social media when I was 15,
16, around then, what you wouldsee like on TikTok, it would be
promotion of toxicity.
SPEAKER_09 (20:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (20:18):
Like they would be videos where you're laying in
bed on your phone at 12 a.m.
and it would show you some shitwhere you should overthink, you
should be toxic, it would justbe promotion of toxicity.
SPEAKER_07 (20:29):
Go through his phone, do this.
This person doesn't play aboutthis person.
It's like Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (20:33):
Next time you're on their phone, type this in so you
can see this, read this chat.
SPEAKER_07 (20:37):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_04 (20:38):
This is what they're probably doing while you're
sleeping.
SPEAKER_13 (20:40):
There's these guys on Instagram now that like they
pay other guys to test theirgirlfriends out.
SPEAKER_04 (20:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's crazy.
That's that's been a thing for aminute, though.
That's oh that's wild.
Social media room.
They're doing what?
It's like tests.
You you test you ask somebody totest your partner's loyalty.
Like they set up a whole programand everything and pay for it.
Yeah.
Oh my god, that's the business.
SPEAKER_07 (21:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (21:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (21:02):
And their partners are going that easy.
Like, if you would go pay, likeyou paid, you knew.
You knew they were going.
You didn't have to expose ifthat's the thing.
It's all the same stuffhappening over and over again.
But before it used to be word ofmouth, and it would stay in your
little town.
SPEAKER_04 (21:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (21:15):
Now it's now it happens right now, and it's
across the nation in like 30seconds.
It's insane.
It's insane.
SPEAKER_04 (21:23):
Yeah.
Nobody has any respect forprivacy anymore either.
SPEAKER_03 (21:26):
Well, we can't get the whole world to do what you
do.
So, what do you guys think theremedy is to salvage what's left
of your society?
Because there are discussionsbeing had right now about an
older generation saying thatthis is the last of the humans.
You're about to fuck this up.
(21:46):
And we won't even have a war.
No, not the rapture.
Wasn't that last week?
SPEAKER_08 (21:50):
I don't know.
I think it's supposed to betoday.
SPEAKER_03 (21:52):
It's a dangerous, dangerous world because there's
so much power with social media.
And essentially, the people whocontrol the fate of these
nuclear weapons, they're goingto retire and die.
It's going to be y'all.
Yeah.
Right.
So my question is picture peoplewho are essentially going to be
in charge of the entire world.
SPEAKER_08 (22:13):
Jesus.
SPEAKER_03 (22:14):
Science is being eradicated.
SPEAKER_04 (22:16):
You know, the education system is being
eroded.
But I feel like to be fair, ourgeneration just missed that.
I think we'll be okay.
I think it's Gen Alpha, the nextone after us.
That's what I'm in fear of.
SPEAKER_08 (22:26):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_04 (22:26):
We're maturing.
SPEAKER_03 (22:29):
It's gonna be that.
Okay, see, when we say yourgeneration, we think anybody
younger than we are.
So we just put everybody in onegiant bucket.
So Well, we're Gen Z.
SPEAKER_07 (22:38):
We still had some outside time.
Alpha's after us.
What's Gen X?
SPEAKER_04 (22:41):
Alpha's like 2009s and tens of.
Oh nigga me.
No.
SPEAKER_08 (22:49):
We'll do it a minute.
SPEAKER_03 (22:50):
I don't know if we're gonna figure this out
because Yeah, just just askwhat's the generation and the
age.
SPEAKER_07 (23:01):
Are y'all okay?
SPEAKER_03 (23:02):
I'm Gen X.
Correct.
The best generation in theworld, Dan.
We created all this stuff thatyou can say.
Yeah, like the crack and allkinds of stuff.
Crack?
How about the internet?
The crack.
SPEAKER_09 (23:14):
That's what we just talked about.
What's the problem?
What's the internet?
Thanks a lot.
SPEAKER_03 (23:18):
Y'all left us with your problem.
We invented the technology.
No, no, no.
We invented the technology, butjust no different than someone
who invented the knife andsomeone who discovered fire.
You decide to commit arson.
Oh.
Don't point at me.
unknown (23:33):
Do a circle.
SPEAKER_03 (23:35):
No, but that's that's actually, you know, the
tools are there, right?
But you were saying somethingabout your generation.
I'm sorry.
You were saying that you thinkyour generation, the Gen Z
generation, is gonna beperfectly fine.
SPEAKER_04 (23:45):
Yeah, because we just missed all that AI stuff.
Like the ends of our generation,like the 2008.
I'm not even gonna go as far asto say the 2012s, because they
like us as high schoolers, wedidn't have the AI when we were
in high school.
Right.
That came now a couple years agonow.
Right.
So we graduated correctly.
(24:08):
We were cheating.
We still had the energy.
We all cheated.
We all found a way.
Somehow, somewhere.
SPEAKER_03 (24:13):
Yeah, some kind of way.
But it wasn't like, hey, my Icould just rest my brain, leave
it at home on the shelf, and goin some some kind of way
graduate.
SPEAKER_04 (24:21):
But we still had to be creative somehow to cheat.
You still had to use someability to cheat.
Now you just type it in chatBGPT, make this the best way
possible.
SPEAKER_03 (24:32):
Do it.
And tell it.
Don't make it sound like uhchat, by the way.
Make it sound like me.
Dumb it down.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (24:37):
Then you edit it and be like, mm-hmm, nah, one more
time.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (24:40):
I go back and forth.
Too smart.
SPEAKER_04 (24:42):
Technology is beautiful, man.
Humans are just humans.
SPEAKER_08 (24:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (24:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (24:47):
No problem.
SPEAKER_03 (24:48):
Someone said on the podcast too, they said exactly
exactly that.
So technology is amazing.
AI won't destroy us.
Stupid humans using AI willdestroy us.
Correct.
It will not be AI that's gonnabecome sentient and just like
ruin the world.
It'll be us.
What was our generation?
unknown (25:03):
Alpha.
SPEAKER_03 (25:03):
The one after you guys?
Alpha.
It'll be them.
Yeah, for sure.
unknown (25:06):
Great.
SPEAKER_03 (25:07):
Hopefully by then I'm on my little island.
Alright.
I just spent a little bit oftime here on the soapbox, kind
of shitting on your generation.
Right?
Why not?
Why not?
You know, you can't shit on minebecause we're awesome.
SPEAKER_07 (25:20):
I disagree.
SPEAKER_03 (25:21):
Okay.
I mean, there are books.
There's has your generationwritten a book yet?
SPEAKER_04 (25:27):
Don't worry, we'll make some in a couple years when
we're your age.
SPEAKER_05 (25:29):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (25:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (25:29):
Chat GPT.
unknown (25:31):
Chat GPT.
Therapy.
SPEAKER_03 (25:34):
But like the question is, you're being told a
lot.
I know there's a lot of pressureon you guys.
You know, figure it out, figureit out.
Know what you want to do, get itaccomplished, get it done.
When I was your age, I was doingX, Y, and Z, and you guys aren't
doing enough, etc.
And maybe not you personally,but I'm sure you guys are
familiar with that narrative.
Right.
But I don't see a ton ofguidance for that to be a fair
(25:56):
chastisement or any kind of uhrequest, so to speak.
SPEAKER_07 (26:00):
A lot of unsolicited advice, I think.
But not no steps.
Like, okay, yeah, I hear you.
You're telling me from yourperspective that I shouldn't be
doing this.
Okay, great.
But like what should I be doing?
I'm I'm doing life for the firsttime, as you are.
But what's next?
Like where do I go from here?
I'm just I know what I shouldn'tbe doing, but knowing what I
should be doing is kind of whereI'm at.
(26:21):
And I think that you get a lotmore advice from the people that
you don't really want to belike.
SPEAKER_03 (26:26):
That one's easy.
I always found that why wouldyou want to take directions from
them because they haven't beenwhere you're trying to go?
Right.
So don't listen.
But at the same token, is itfair to say that you're not
getting guidance?
I know I just said it, but is itfair to say that you're not
getting it when there's so muchof information available on the
internet?
Like whatever you want to do,whatever you want to be, you
(26:46):
have more access today thananybody in the world's ever had
for free.
SPEAKER_13 (27:01):
So it's just like I guess a live and learn type of
thing.
Try it.
If it doesn't work, try it againand then try to figure it out
the right way.
Or try to find someone that hasbeen or is where you are trying
to go and listen to them insteadof listening to some bozo that
isn't where you are or where youwant to be.
SPEAKER_07 (27:18):
Can I be honest though?
SPEAKER_13 (27:19):
Please.
SPEAKER_07 (27:19):
I think the one thing that our generation lacks
that yours does not.
So your point is that ourgeneration lacks discipline in
every sense of it.
Because you've said this to usso many times.
It's not the information on howto be a millionaire is out
there.
It's not a big secret.
You don't have to join a secretsociety.
There's no pledging.
It's out there, it's free.
You can buy it for$19.99,$40,you can go to a seminar,
(27:42):
whatever you want to do, it'sout there.
You just have to do what youneed to do and apply how you
need to apply to become one.
And the 1% or less than does it.
So it's the same thing with us,I think.
It's the good advice is there.
The shows are there, theseminars are there, the people
are there.
If it's a couple you, you know,want to start getting mentorship
from, or if it's someone in yourprofession, or if it's anything
(28:06):
like that, it's out there.
It's just going out there,finding it, doing the research,
being disciplined, changing yourlifestyle.
And I think that's the hardestthing for us because we again,
not to blame social media, buteverybody's falling into this
fake reality where you can justchange your mind every 15
seconds and be-I mean, you canbe who you want to be, but
there's always going to be workbehind everything.
(28:28):
But I think everybody just showsthe beautiful side of everything
and not the work that goesbehind it.
They don't show the hours thatyou're grinding, the
frustrations, the one ideafailing, and the next one
starting back up.
Like nobody's really pushing outthe real anymore.
So you don't really know whatadvice to take because you don't
know how much of it is genuine.
(28:49):
So I think staying away fromadvice, but more so sticking
towards research and plans andshort-term goals and long-term
goals and business plans andaccountability partners, and
that's more so where your mindshould be and not just listening
to advice.
SPEAKER_03 (29:05):
Yeah.
Do you think that also everyonejust wants the rewards a whole
lot quicker?
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Everyone's looking for like whatdo you call it?
It's um dopamine.
Yeah, no, they when they'relooking for that hack.
Everyone needs a hack, right?
Like the shortcut, you know,yeah, exactly.
Like get rich quick.
Give me this play so I can gorun it real quick, and then
boom, I can make a ton of money.
(29:27):
To your point, what they'reseeing is the guy who's already
done this, he's only showing youthe success.
Right.
He's not showing you when you gopick up a book, for example, and
you decide to read someone, youknow, like a book by any one of
the greats, and you watch andyou go 10, 15 years of failure,
and they explain all this to youand they break it all down.
(29:48):
These guys are not about theinternet.
They are not like, oh, look atme, look at my lifestyle, look
at my private jet.
Now they'll tell you this iswhat happened.
They tell you, like, look, wewere doing this and we were
failing.
And we win again and again andagain and again.
Number one, know what you wantto do, know what you want you
want to accomplish.
And then, but you also have tounderstand that most people they
(30:09):
overestimate what they can do inone year, but they all
underestimate what they can doin 10.
You know, again, you have tohave the right vehicle.
You don't want to get intosomething where you're just
like, I don't know, I'm gonnasell pet rocks and give it 10
years and see if it works.
SPEAKER_10 (30:23):
I'm really into it.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (30:25):
You still have to pick the right vehicle.
It has to make sense, it has tobe your need, you have to be
solving a problem, etc.
But at the end of the day, ifyou're not gonna stick to it and
you're not gonna work hard at itfor most of a decade, if it's
your own dream, your ownpassion, I think that's what's
missing.
So if I were to say, hey, whatare you gonna do in the next 10
years?
It's 2025, you've got your 2035,what does your life look like
(30:49):
and how you're gonna get there?
SPEAKER_07 (30:50):
Dirty is not that far away, guys, just to let you
know.
You blink and then you're almostthere.
SPEAKER_04 (30:55):
Yep.
SPEAKER_07 (30:56):
Very close.
SPEAKER_04 (30:58):
I mean, me and him, we just got here.
It's our first day.
I don't know.
First day of 2020.
SPEAKER_02 (31:03):
Just turn 20.
SPEAKER_04 (31:05):
The image has changed due to certain things
over the years, but I mean thethe bigger picture's always kind
of been the same.
You know, like I said, it'salways just been one thing and
one thing only.
It's still gonna be a part of mylife, then even if I'm not
playing, it's still gonna be apart of my life.
But no, I don't have the fullpicture yet.
But I have an idea of who I wantto be, and I think right now
(31:26):
that's more important to me.
I like it.
I think I'll figure outeventually where I want to be.
But for now, I think theidentity is is real important.
I think I must obtain thatfirst.
Yeah.
My strong willpower would be thecore that kind of pushes me to
continue being a good man, agood soul.
I think I would say because ofmy father, I'm very spiritual,
(31:49):
so I want my soul to be clean.
I want to be a good person onthis earth.
So I guess everything that I dokind of goes towards that.
That aligns my decisions, thataligns the path that I go on in
my life.
So wherever I end up, I justwant to make sure that my soul
feels right.
Dang.
SPEAKER_09 (32:10):
What's yours?
Yeah, like but it's not aboutyour soul being good.
SPEAKER_13 (32:16):
That's a part of it, maybe.
No one knows where they're gonnabe in ten years, but I would
like to help people not only ason a personal level, but as a
um, you know, as a career.
As I said before, what I reallywant to accomplish is being a
nurse, and that's been a thingsince I was a kid.
I've always wanted to helppeople in any way, shape, or
(32:38):
form.
So just to have that opportunityand be able to share that with a
lot of people in that fieldspecifically.
That's cool, man.
SPEAKER_10 (32:46):
I'm gonna cry.
One wants a good soul and theother one wants to help people.
SPEAKER_04 (32:50):
Yeah.
I think also what's pushing metoo is just this this
generation.
I feel like a lot of us are notgonna be good souls.
We need help.
unknown (33:04):
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (33:04):
We're losing.
I agree.
SPEAKER_03 (33:06):
All right, let's talk about finance for a little
bit.
SPEAKER_07 (33:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (33:08):
Moving out at 20, having your own, buying a car,
doing all these things.
Is there pressure to do that?
Or how realistic is that todayin your world?
SPEAKER_13 (33:16):
Well, I mean, it's realistic if you want to do it.
You can get a job, save up, andget a car, save up and move out.
It's not easy, but it'spossible.
And it's when you see thatexpense list that it gives you a
really big reality check.
That's when you're like, oh myGod, yeah, maybe I don't want
all that.
SPEAKER_03 (33:35):
So are people your age staying at home a little
longer now, as opposed tobecause I couldn't wait to move
out?
SPEAKER_04 (33:42):
I think I'm a special case because for me,
I've this sounds bad, but I'vebeen looking to move out since I
was like 15.
Who doesn't?
But that was just because I hadto grow up really early.
You know, I I went to Portugalby myself for three months.
I lived there alone, and I hadto grow up and live like an
adult for three months.
Three months sounds short, butfor a 14-year-old who was you
(34:04):
know basically pampered hiswhole life, that felt like an
eternity.
But it changed me.
And then after that, likethrough the out the years, 15,
16, 17, I was I was used to it.
I was used to being alone.
I was used to living alone.
SPEAKER_03 (34:17):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (34:17):
So I would just go out to wherever I was and
especially since then since I'vebeen playing in academies, I've
just been away from home.
So being at home actually feelsuncomfortable to me.
I'm already past that point.
SPEAKER_03 (34:30):
What about yourself, Julian?
Would you prefer to live on yourown, or do you feel that it's
more economical and makes moresense to stay where you are
while you build, considering howexpensive life is?
SPEAKER_10 (34:42):
Julian can't cook.
SPEAKER_03 (34:43):
And I can learn.
SPEAKER_13 (34:45):
Internet.
SPEAKER_10 (34:46):
He needs people.
SPEAKER_13 (34:47):
Anyways.
SPEAKER_10 (34:48):
Huh?
SPEAKER_13 (34:49):
Rice cookers and air price, that's all you need.
SPEAKER_10 (34:51):
Oh.
SPEAKER_13 (34:51):
That's all you need.
Period.
SPEAKER_08 (34:52):
He'll survive.
SPEAKER_13 (34:53):
Life is good, so there you go.
Right.
So um in the in the currentstate that I'm in, I think it
would be roughly the same if Ijust get my own place.
So I would I would like to getmy own place because I'm already
paying rent.
And then on top of that, I'mpaying for insurance and other
bills.
And groceries and phone bill andall that I'm already
contributing to the house, so Ifeel like if I got my own place,
(35:15):
I already know how to do certainthings.
Now, I'm terrible at budgeting.
Once I take care of thenecessities, I'm like Well, the
first time you get kicked out ofa of an apartment, that'll solve
that problem.
I really hope I don't have toget to that point, you know.
You learn to budget real quick.
Um, but yeah, uh, I would Iwould like that sense of freedom
(35:38):
because that's what I got.
I think um when I first went touniversity, just being alone was
like, this is great.
I don't need anyone to wake meup.
No, I did have to wake up, butit was like I don't have anyone
telling me what to do.
I can just be my own person.
And you also said, do you see alot more people staying with in
(36:01):
their houses, like with theirfamilies?
Was that part of the question?
SPEAKER_03 (36:04):
Yeah.
Is that something you guys areseeing now with your generation,
with your friends?
Are they are they celebrated?
Yeah, or is moving out like athing.
Because in some cultures, youdon't leave until you're
married.
They stay in the house, youknow, they participate, they
contribute, they help, and theydo all that stuff, and you know,
hell in the Haitian culture,it's like that, you know, in
(36:24):
Haiti, not here.
It was a normal thing for a34-35-year-old man who was
unmarried to still live at home,but he was working, he was
paying the bills.
He basically became the man ofthe house.
Sometimes that would, you know,dad was retired or whatever, but
that's the guy, that's the man,right?
But he was still living at home,and they were bills that he did
just didn't have because hestayed there until he got a
(36:46):
wife, and then she moved out, hemoved out, then he went and got
their own place.
SPEAKER_07 (36:50):
That's what I'm saying.
Like, our generation celebratesweird things.
Like you have to have increaseddebt.
Like you're made fun of if youdon't.
Like, if you can live home withyour family, you have your own
space, you're not botheringanybody, you're not having to
pay certain bills, you can save,you can invest, you can do all
these different things.
Usually, if you live home,that's the setup.
(37:12):
And you're able to do that, andyou can stay there until you
graduate or you're in yourcareer, you're married, or
whatever it is, then that makessense.
But now it's like he don't havehis own car, or he does have a
car, but it ain't no note, youknow.
He it's one of those cash cars.
Like, what since when was owningyour car like a vet?
Are y'all okay?
And then it's the same thingwith living at home.
(37:32):
Like he doesn't have his ownspot.
Why why does he need to bepaying rent somewhere if he has
his own space?
You know, as long as he's notsharing a room with his mom.
Like, who who cares?
It's it everything pushing themout.
SPEAKER_03 (37:44):
Not sure if you guys would know this, but is this
more of a black thing?
Because I gotta tell you, like,the average millionaire wears
regular clothes.
You've seen the way Bill Gateslooks when he goes out, right?
And he's not a millionaire, he'sa multi-billionaire.
They're not showing up foranybody.
SPEAKER_05 (37:59):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (37:59):
And I'm not saying that the black ones are, but I'm
wondering with that younggeneration, if they're looking
at social media and they'refeeling that that's the way it
should be.
Man, black people got a lot tocorrect culturally.
SPEAKER_04 (38:14):
We got a lot, yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (38:15):
Too impersonable.
It's just not knowing better.
It's I think it's justeverything is very surface level
and you have to look the part.
And it's because that confidenceis not there, that maturity is
not there.
I'm not gonna say it's lack ofintelligence.
I think ignorance is just it'ssuch a bad word that it's okay
to be ignorant in a certainsubject and then want to learn
(38:35):
and want to progress.
And I think that you just wantto look the part, right?
You want to drive a nice car,you want to have your own place
that has all the lightseverywhere, you wanna have a
great job, you wanna have allthis money that you can flash
around.
It's like it's just looking thepart.
Nobody cares if you'reemotionally mature, if you're
healed, if you're spiritual atall, if you're a good person in
(38:56):
any capacity, if your familyeven likes you, like those are
not the things that arecelebrated at all.
But if let you be a 24,25-year-old man and you're still
living at home and you drive acar that you might have to roll
the window down, but can'tnobody can take it from you.
It's your car.
And I think that the details arewhat everybody's focused on.
It's not the big picture, it'sthe details.
Like, how can we make thisperson more insecure?
(39:19):
How can we make this person wantsomething else?
SPEAKER_05 (39:21):
Damn.
SPEAKER_07 (39:21):
Want more.
And I'm not saying becomfortable, you should always
want more, but stay where you'reat.
Don't put yourself into a badsituation to please the mass.
Because I promise you, once youstart to struggle, the masses
will not help you.
100%.
Once they come and get all yourstuff and all you got is your
mom's bedroom.
That's why a lot of people aregoing back to living at home, by
the way.
SPEAKER_03 (39:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (39:38):
It's because they've lost everything trying to save
face.
SPEAKER_03 (39:41):
Well, so good thing they lost it early, right?
Because they 18, 19, they moveout, they go do all this other
stuff, and by 21, they lose itall and they go back home.
Which is fine, because you'restill just 21.
Exactly.
Right?
At that point, it's like, oh,you maybe you've maybe you've
learned, yeah.
And then you could do somethinga little bit differently.
SPEAKER_08 (39:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (39:56):
We're just pushed to want more of the wrong things.
SPEAKER_08 (40:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (40:01):
How about your mental health and just your
mental stability, masculinity?
I guess one of the firstquestions that I have is do you
feel safe talking about yourstruggles, whatever those
struggles may be?
Depends on the person.
SPEAKER_13 (40:15):
Like I can talk to immediate family easily.
She's waiting for a shout-up.
SPEAKER_09 (40:20):
Your two besties are sitting right next to you.
So I'm trying to figure out doyou not feel safe?
SPEAKER_13 (40:24):
No, definitely around family for sure.
But once it gets to friends, Iwouldn't even talk about stuff
going on at home, stuff going onwith me if there is anything
going on.
Because depends on yoursurroundings.
SPEAKER_08 (40:38):
You don't have good friends.
SPEAKER_13 (40:40):
I agree.
SPEAKER_08 (40:41):
Okay.
That's why.
SPEAKER_13 (40:43):
But I don't need them to talk about what I go
through.
I have family, and to me that'senough because I feel like they
can understand what I'm goingthrough than anyone else.
Like this circle right now, Ican talk to all of you about
what I'm going through, andthat's enough.
That's all I need.
How about you guys?
SPEAKER_07 (41:00):
Mental health is a little bit different for me.
I've been on like a fast trackto just getting better every
day, being better every day.
Part of it is mainly because Ihad kids young.
So I just don't want to createany more damage than I'm already
destined to.
You just can't ever be theperfect parent, but at least I
want them to know like momtried.
(41:21):
Mom was able to haveconversations through a
difficult season.
Mom can take constructivecriticism.
Mom can have hard conversations.
Mom can express when she'shaving big feelings.
And so I'm I work through mymental health by parenting,
which is insane.
I'm also in therapy.
I'm a part of as many groups asI can be a part of with
different age groups.
So I have one group of womenthat I deal with that are peers,
(41:42):
we're all the same age.
And then I have a differentgroup where I'm the youngest.
And I think the oldest issomewhere in her 50s.
So I try to surround myself withpeople that I can learn from.
And so when I struggle mentally,which I do, I definitely do
therapy is not going to fix itall.
I'm able to either get myselftogether quickly or just take a
mental rest, or I can reach outto someone and just say, hey,
(42:06):
I'm feeling wacky.
What's going on?
But I don't, I definitely feellike I've created that safe
space.
And I think that feelings arenot something that should be
avoided.
Like if you're feeling somethingcrazy, somebody else somewhere
has felt that one thing.
Just don't suffer in silence.
Say something to somebody.
But good counsel.
Don't just start talking topeople because there's someone
standing in front of you.
It needs to be someone that canteach you something.
(42:28):
Someone that's not going torepeat that information back to
you when it's, you know, totheir benefit.
Someone that will actuallyretain the information and give
you good counsel back, and ifnothing else, at least just hold
you when you need to be helped.
SPEAKER_04 (42:40):
So that's that's good stuff.
Yeah.
What about you, Kiki?
I feel bad in saying this nowafter both of their takes.
But absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
That has been one of my uh mostdifficult things to conquer.
Um, it ties in with how I wasraised, but for me, I feel like
(43:01):
my safe place has becomeknowledge.
Like I don't I don't do therapy,I don't really talk to anybody.
I feel like to figure out myproblems and to feel okay, I
seek knowledge.
I just read.
I read, I go watch videos, I golearn about something that seems
similar to my problem, but Istruggle really bad with talking
(43:22):
to people about it because Ithink it's a number of reasons,
but I think one of the big onesis because in my mind I've
already deemed people incapableof helping me with this problem.
And that kind of ties into whatyou were saying earlier, and
what you were saying as well islike not taking advice from
people you don't feel are suitedfor, they're not in a position
you want to be in.
And I already done my wholeevaluation of this person.
(43:45):
I know this person.
SPEAKER_10 (43:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (43:47):
So I put two and two together, and I'm like, this
problem doesn't really seemsuited for this person, so I'm
just gonna go figure it out theway I know best.
I would say that's probably myproblem.
Another one would be more oflike uh I'd say probably just
this this happens to more thanjust me.
I know this is like agenerational thing, but the way
I was raised, I was basicallyraised like an only child.
(44:07):
Okay.
I had two older brothers, butthey are my half-brothers, they
weren't always around.
They were nine and eight yearsolder than me, so the
relationship wasn't reallythere.
Right.
So I was basically an only childbecause they left really early
too.
And my parents were not people Icould communicate with.
And a fun fact about me is I'vebeen homeschooled since third
grade.
SPEAKER_08 (44:26):
That's kind of dope.
SPEAKER_04 (44:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (44:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (44:28):
I've experienced the world a lot differently from
people very, very differently.
Very differently.
Very differently.
I've experienced differentcultures and different
countries.
Like I've been around the world,I've seen a lot.
Yeah.
Still so much more to see, stillso much more to learn and
experience, I know.
But yeah, for where I'm at rightnow, the safe space,
communication, I've deemed itjust to be my temple.
(44:52):
Me.
I am my safe space.
SPEAKER_03 (44:54):
That's interesting.
What are some of the books thatyou read, or that you've read
rather, that help you realizethat this path you're on is the
correct path for yourself?
The Alchemist.
I've read it too.
Love that book.
My favorite.
I've read it f six times.
Pablo Coelho.
Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_07 (45:11):
Do you have it here or is it on Audible?
SPEAKER_03 (45:14):
Everything that I have is on Audible.
I might have the actual physicalbook.
I'll see if I have it.
I'll have it.
SPEAKER_04 (45:18):
Another one by him that I love, though, is The
Pilgrimage.
It's a great one.
Not yet.
I'll check that out.
You should read that one.
It's a great one.
Similar to The Alchemist.
This book called Ikigai, Iactually got it tattooed.
This is what this means on myarm.
It's like uh it's a Japanesephilosophy, which means your
reason for being.
And it's also why I said I wantto go live with the
hundred-year-olds in uh Okinawain Japan, because they talk
(45:39):
about a village where that'slike literally their philosophy,
that's their belief.
They talk about the importanceof community in your life and
how that expands your life andjust your well-being, your
health, your overall physicaland mental health.
I talk about finding a purposein your life, whatever it may
be, just something that givesyou a reason to live, that
(46:00):
guides you so you don't feellost.
It just it's it's a beautifulbook.
It teaches you a lot.
And I read that when I was 16 or17, because at 15 I was still a
little problem child.
And what's it called?
Ikigai.
SPEAKER_03 (46:13):
Ikigai.
SPEAKER_04 (46:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (46:14):
All right.
Send me that so I can just addit to the show notes.
SPEAKER_04 (46:17):
We'll do.
SPEAKER_03 (46:17):
It's interesting because there's you know, three
different takes here.
There's the I've got people totalk to and I trust and I share
my struggles with them.
Then there's the I definitelyhave peer groups and other
groups and there's therapy, andthen there's the I'll solve it
myself because I'll findknowledge because I don't trust
that the people that I would goto have the resources to help
(46:40):
me.
Yes.
I think all three are valid.
SPEAKER_07 (46:42):
I'll extend an olive branch.
I might not have any advice, butif you just need to call and
curse, you can call.
I'll mute myself and mind mybusiness, and then you can just
hang up right in my face.
SPEAKER_04 (46:51):
Okay.
Okay.
Don't worry.
SPEAKER_07 (46:53):
There's that.
SPEAKER_03 (46:53):
We'll hang out.
SPEAKER_07 (46:54):
Okay, perfect.
SPEAKER_03 (46:55):
All right.
As we wrap it up, what are yourgreatest fears for the next five
to ten years?
SPEAKER_07 (47:00):
That I'll waste another five to ten years.
Ooh.
That's it.
I just want to keep going.
I want the train to go and Idon't want it to stop.
Like, I it's okay.
I don't mind the trials.
I don't mind struggling.
I don't even mind starting over.
But I just don't want to belike, damn.
SPEAKER_03 (47:14):
Ten years went by.
SPEAKER_07 (47:16):
And I'm not doing nothing but getting older.
SPEAKER_03 (47:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (47:19):
And my back is getting wider.
I'm starting to get closer tomenopause.
Like, think I'm I mean, it's notfunny, Julian.
SPEAKER_02 (47:25):
You get like 20s, man.
You're just talking aboutmenopause.
You need to chill.
I think you got a little whileto go.
SPEAKER_07 (47:31):
You know what I mean?
You start thinking aboutdifferent things in different
decades, but I just I don'tknow.
I just don't want I want to beproud of me then.
I don't want to look back and belike, okay, I still have more
life, God willing.
Like, I'm gonna keep going.
I want to be proud of where I'mat.
Proud of my progress, I'll say.
SPEAKER_13 (47:46):
Very nice.
Uh pretty much on the same boat.
I don't want to wait.
Stop copying people's shit.
You're gonna depend on it.
SPEAKER_10 (47:53):
Wait a minute.
SPEAKER_13 (47:54):
Don't even let me finish.
What I was going to say.
I'll say this.
Basically piggybacking off ofthat, but I don't my biggest
thing, and I said this on thelast podcast I was on, I don't
like disappointing people.
You know, that kind of thatbrings me down once I know.
Only to immediate family though.
I don't really care about whatother people say, but just
(48:16):
hearing like you not to sayyou're disappointed, but just
kind of getting around that areathat kind of brings me low.
So doing something or getting tothe end of that five to ten year
run and then just not beingwhere you know the expectation
was, I guess, except for myself.
I'll set my own expectations,not get there, and then not only
am I not happy with where I am,but other people share the same
(48:40):
feelings.
SPEAKER_04 (48:40):
So you want your family just to be proud and
happy of where you are.
SPEAKER_13 (48:43):
Yeah.
That's that's the ultimate goal.
I would like my family to beproud of where I am.
SPEAKER_04 (48:49):
Well, you're also happy where you are.
100%.
Yeah.
Same thing, man.
SPEAKER_03 (48:54):
Other than the little island moving and you
don't know where to find thoseguys.
SPEAKER_02 (48:57):
Like, where'd they go?
SPEAKER_04 (49:01):
I just I just don't want to lose myself within these
next five, ten years, I guess.
I just want to make sure I stayon my path.
Mm-hmm.
Stay me.
Yeah.
Because I know it's very easyfor man to lose his way.
SPEAKER_03 (49:13):
Very easy.
Or to go off track, and by thetime you come back to the track
you're supposed to be on, 10, 15years have gone by.
Well, yeah.
Or you come back and it's allovergrown and you can't see the
path anymore.
What are you most hopeful about?
SPEAKER_08 (49:27):
Most hopeful.
SPEAKER_03 (49:28):
No, Julian gotta go first or you're gonna copy
somebody's shit.
SPEAKER_08 (49:31):
You're right, Julian go.
SPEAKER_03 (49:32):
Wow.
SPEAKER_08 (49:33):
Tell us I'm gonna piggyback.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_13 (49:37):
See that?
Wow.
As a man and as a as anindividual, continue to learn,
continue to find knowledge.
As you always tell me a milliontimes, knowledge isn't power.
The application of knowledge ispower.
So not just finding knowledge,but applying that knowledge to
myself and to continue to growas a person and as a man.
SPEAKER_04 (49:59):
That's what's up.
Yeah, I'm gonna pick you backup.
I think I'll say within the nextfive to ten years, the thing I'm
most hopeful for is makingeverything that my parents gave
to me worth it.
They've both given me a lot indifferent ways.
So it's gonna be pretty hard tomake that happen, but I think
that's what I'm looking forwardto the most.
(50:22):
Nice.
SPEAKER_06 (50:24):
I want to be stable in my nannying nest.
SPEAKER_03 (50:27):
In your what?
SPEAKER_06 (50:28):
Nannying nest.
That's what the nest is my myjam.
SPEAKER_08 (50:33):
Guys, my dad doesn't know about my businesses.
I bet he's gonna cut this outtoo.
SPEAKER_07 (50:37):
So I want there to be something stable.
I want to have an actual centerby then.
I want to be able to homeschoolas well.
I want to teach my children.
I want to teach a lot ofchildren.
So I'm more hopeful in finallychoosing me this year and
choosing to start over andstruggle and thrive and it just
(51:00):
be for me.
My ideas, I don't want to do itfor anybody else anymore.
I don't want to be underanybody's team.
So I am hopeful of just beingsuccessful alone with my team.
SPEAKER_03 (51:11):
I've given you guys a lot of shit about, you know,
how our generation sees you, butfor the most part, that's not.
That's just me teasing.
The reality is if anyone has ableak outlook on things, it's
probably people my age.
But listening to you guys andtalking to you, every generation
faces their own battles.
Yeah.
But listening to you, seeingyour outlook on life, seeing how
(51:34):
you guys are, tells us where theworld is going and it's going to
a good place.
So I thank you for being on theshow.
I love you guys.
SPEAKER_06 (51:41):
Love you.
SPEAKER_03 (51:43):
So as we wrap up, someone has to do the outro.
SPEAKER_08 (51:48):
I don't have it.
I don't.
SPEAKER_03 (51:50):
And uh we have to pick someone that you're going
to be.
Are you ready?
You're mini mouse.
Go.
SPEAKER_01 (51:56):
Hey friend.
Please support us by followingthe show.
Leave us a five-star review onApple Podcasts.
Thank you so much for listening.
We'll catch you next week whenwe share conversations
surrounding real issues we dealwith every day.
Manhood Matters, we're out.
SPEAKER_02 (52:11):
A little voice.
But can nobody can take it from you.
It's your car.
And I think that the details arewhat everybody's focused on.
It's not the big picture.
It's the details.
Like, how can we make thisperson more insecure?
How can we make this person wantsomething else?
SPEAKER_05 (00:12):
Damn.
SPEAKER_07 (00:13):
Want more.
And I'm not saying becomfortable.
You should always want more, butstay where you're at.
Don't put yourself into a badsituation to please the mass.
Because I promise you, once youstart to struggle, the masses
will not help you.
100%.
Once they come and get all yourstuff, and all you got is your
mom's bedroom.
That's why a lot of people aregoing back to living at home, by
the way.
SPEAKER_05 (00:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (00:30):
It's because they've lost everything trying to save
face.
SPEAKER_03 (00:34):
I promised you an amazing show today, and here it
is.
I know a lot of people my age,oftentimes when we look at the
state of the world today, wefeel that things are bleak and
things are headed in the wrongdirection.
We don't have a lot of faith inhumanity.
We don't know what AI is gonnado.
But after this conversationtoday, you will feel the way I
(00:56):
felt.
Listening to these three youngpeople, all in their 20s, all
Gen Z.
They give me hope.
And I think they will do thesame for you.
They are super smart, inspiring,poised, beyond mature for their
age.
And I wanted to know what it'slike to be a Gen Zier in 2025.
What challenges they face, theapproach it with grace,
(01:20):
knowledge, and so much wisdom.
So if you yourself are fromtheir generation, you will
greatly benefit from this.
And if you have children thatage, you don't want to miss this
episode.
I appreciate you guys for tuningin.
SPEAKER_02 (01:34):
Welcome to Man Who It Matters.
Let's get to it.
(01:54):
What's up, guys?
Hello.
SPEAKER_03 (01:56):
Hello.
Yeah, we're back.
I have with me a special co-hosttoday, Nai.
Hey baby.
SPEAKER_06 (02:03):
Hello.
SPEAKER_03 (02:04):
Can't wait for you to start your own pod.
SPEAKER_06 (02:06):
One day.
SPEAKER_03 (02:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (02:07):
Coming soon.
SPEAKER_03 (02:08):
Gotcha.
Can't wait.
SPEAKER_06 (02:09):
Yes.
SPEAKER_03 (02:10):
And we have Julian in the house and Christian, aka
Kiki.
Good to be back.
Yeah, man.
Good to have you.
What's up, Kiki?
How are you?
Good, man.
So the conversation today isgoing to be about young men and
challenges that you guys arefacing on a daily basis.
(02:31):
Cool.
Yeah, I just want to know whatit's like because it's a
different era.
I wasn't forced to grow up asquickly.
And I feel like you guys havehad to grow up a lot quicker
than I did.
That's the first thing thatcomes to mind when I think
about, you know, like me in my20s versus you in your 20s.
Right.
Because I was doing childishthings in my 20s.
So have you guys uh at allcontemplated that and seeing how
(02:55):
um how it compares?
SPEAKER_04 (02:57):
I mean, I've personally talked to my dad and
a few other adults about theiruh young adult days.
I'm not gonna put my dad'sbusiness out there, but he has
told me that he enjoyed himself,at least he was free, enjoyed
his time, enjoyed being young.
I think we definitely still dothat, but you're right, a lot of
(03:19):
our generation had to grow uppretty early for it's it's hard
to say, but everyone hasdifferent reasons, you know.
But I think the technologydefinitely played a part in
speeding that process up.
SPEAKER_03 (03:30):
Yeah, for better or for worse, I kind of feel like
it definitely did, right?
Because you're thinking aboutyou get to see the entire world.
SPEAKER_04 (03:37):
Your world is a lot smaller than ours is.
SPEAKER_03 (03:39):
It was.
Let's start with youspecifically.
So you're a professionalathlete.
Do you feel that had somethingto do with it?
I guess be your own steward.
SPEAKER_04 (03:47):
Uh, I would say so, yes.
Um, because this was kind of thecareer path that I was set on
for pretty much my entire life,ever since I was a kid.
It was just what I was gonna do.
There was no other option.
There was no plan B.
There still really isn't.
Which I don't know is if it's agood thing, but you know, the
way that I was raised, I've kindof had my mind set on one thing,
and that's the thing.
(04:07):
Yeah.
You don't really change that,you don't detour from that.
SPEAKER_03 (04:11):
Yeah.
You don't want to renegotiatethe contract that you set for
yourself.
SPEAKER_04 (04:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (04:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_13 (04:16):
Well, me and myself, I'm still looking for what I
want to do.
You know, I don't have a setpath.
I'm still discovering, I'm stillfinding new things to do,
different jobs.
Just got back into door to doorto try that out once again.
But yeah, I do have a dream.
That dream is to go to schooland uh I do want to major in
nursing.
(04:36):
That's the ultimate goal.
I'm not sure if I'm taking theright steps to get there.
That's news to me.
I didn't know that.
SPEAKER_08 (04:41):
I was about to say, wait a minute.
SPEAKER_13 (04:43):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (04:43):
Okay.
Did you know that?
SPEAKER_08 (04:44):
Team Julian, no, but I don't.
SPEAKER_03 (04:46):
How about identity, especially with social media?
Do you find that it's easy tostill know who you are, or do
you find that you guys get lostin the noise a little bit if
you're being honest withyourselves, seeing a lot of the
lies on social media, because alot of it is just make-belief,
but it still creates thisillusion of a race, so to speak,
(05:09):
right?
Like this is where my peers are.
This is what I'm trying toaccomplish.
These people are already so farahead of me.
Do you guys find that pressureto be something that you care
about?
Or does it impact you in anykind of way?
SPEAKER_13 (05:20):
It does impact me a little bit, like seeing,
especially friends, seeing thatthey're where I guess I should
be at.
They were in college like rightout of high school, and they're
still on that path to get totheir career.
So and they're always postingabout it.
So it does like hit me a littlebit, like that's where I could
be, but not to the point whereI'm like, it's bringing me down
(05:41):
to where I should give up.
If anything, it's kind ofmotivational.
Seeing them there, and I'm like,I can be that eventually.
It's not like something I haveto hurry up and get together
just so I can get there.
Like I have time, but time isalso not infinite.
It puts a little pressure, butit's also motivational at the
same time.
SPEAKER_02 (05:58):
Okay.
I could see that.
How about you?
SPEAKER_04 (06:01):
Um, I think personally I've done a good job
at avoiding that because uh it'sbeen a while now, you know.
So I've gone like, what is it,two years now?
Maybe three years, maybe longer,yeah.
With no social media.
I learned really early on thatcomparison is the thief of joy,
you know, that's talked about alot.
Yeah.
I learned that pretty early onfor my parents and just social
environments.
Yeah.
Um for the career path that Ihad to take, social media will
(06:24):
play a part in the future.
You know, it helps with brand.
But for me right now, I justconsider it noise.
It just feels like a lot ofnoise that is quite unnecessary.
And I feel like it does a lot ofprogramming, and you know,
that's but that's a whole nothertopic.
I do agree that social media hasa certain influence on um I
guess preserving your character,manipulating your character to
(06:47):
be something that you're not, orto want to be something that you
shouldn't be, something thatisn't truly you.
But yeah, I think I've donefairly well for myself
preventing that from even beinga possibility of manipulating
what I believe to be my truecharacter.
SPEAKER_03 (07:02):
I think there's gotta be like one less than one
percent of people who actuallyhave access and choose not to
get on social media.
I know one other person likethat, and he's in his 40s.
He's on social media, but likeif you tag him or something, he
won't see it for like eightmonths.
He's like, I I'm not even onthere.
How have you realized that?
Have you have you been able tostay away from the distractions,
(07:24):
the temptation?
SPEAKER_04 (07:26):
Uh I'll say probably two things.
My parents being one, and secondthing, I guess just the desire
to do what I want to do.
And I know that what I want todo has to come with certain
responsibilities and certainsacrifices.
I had to deem what wasnecessary, and I deemed it was
necessary to remove myself fromthat.
SPEAKER_03 (07:44):
Yeah.
For me, it sounds like man,that'd be super hard right now.
SPEAKER_04 (07:48):
Yeah.
Right?
You you'd think, but after awhile, it feels like nothing's
there.
It's just gone.
SPEAKER_13 (07:53):
How long you don't think about it?
Sorry to interrupt you.
How about how long did it takefor you to like for it to be
routine?
Stop not to stop itching.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (08:01):
I can't tell you, honestly.
I don't remember.
I I wish I could tell you, but Ithink I already kind of had a a
discontent for it.
You know, I didn't really likeit before I got rid of it, so it
wasn't really that difficultafter, you know.
It was just like finally donewith this.
Gotcha.
SPEAKER_07 (08:16):
When it comes to the young men of this generation, I
always want to like poke youguys' brains, obviously, for
some of my own benefit.
But part of it too is I like tounderstand the way that you guys
think.
And I think that this generationhas narrowed the perspective in
almost every single avenue andincreased cancel culture.
(08:37):
So I guess is it hard with theidentity question?
I wanted to tag on to that.
Is it difficult sometimes tohave your own opinions, speak
your mind, set your ownboundaries, think this way, but
also think this way?
Or have you found yourselfgrouping yourself into one
mindset because it iscomfortable for our generation
(08:58):
to accept you in that way?
I feel like the generationsbefore they were allowed to have
these ideas, these perspectives.
They were allowed to be likemini gypsies everywhere.
But for us, it's like you thinkone way, and if you think this
way, this is the way that youbehave, especially when it comes
to like dating and politics andfriendships and how they raise
their children.
Like everything right now isjust so micro like control.
(09:22):
Oh, it's sick.
SPEAKER_13 (09:23):
It's crazy how this generation is.
SPEAKER_07 (09:24):
It is, it is, and I think that the pressure is more
so on the men.
SPEAKER_13 (09:29):
I agree.
SPEAKER_07 (09:30):
So how are you guys dealing with that?
It's different.
It's different, but it'sinteresting.
I would love to hear.
SPEAKER_13 (09:35):
So I really hope that this answers your question.
But at the end of the day, I'mme.
I'm Julian.
It did take me a while to learnthis, I guess, because you know,
I did grow up like hearing, youknow, if you think this way,
don't talk to me.
If you think this way, you'rethis, this, this, and that.
But I'm allowed to have my ownopinions.
I'm my own man.
If you don't agree with what Ihave to say or what what I
(09:56):
think, you don't have to bearound me if you don't want to.
You know, that's with society asa whole.
I can still be friends with youif you think differently.
That's how things were backthen.
Why can't it be like that now?
Uh that's how I stand on it, youknow.
I'm me, and then you're you.
Kiki's Kiki.
My dad is my dad.
SPEAKER_07 (10:11):
Just set those boundaries.
SPEAKER_13 (10:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (10:13):
If the perspectives start to, you know, create
something where the energy isalways gonna be weird when you
interact, it's sure.
SPEAKER_13 (10:19):
If there's tension, then I'll learn to exclude
myself, exclude myself from thesituation.
I don't have to stick aroundwith that.
unknown (10:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (10:24):
What about you, Kiki?
How are you your own man in thisgeneration?
SPEAKER_04 (10:28):
I think the best way that I've found is just to not
speak about things that youdon't know about.
SPEAKER_13 (10:36):
You just if the world could be philosophy.
SPEAKER_09 (10:40):
Say it one more time.
SPEAKER_13 (10:41):
But people in the back.
SPEAKER_09 (10:42):
With some bass in your voice.
Mind your business and speak onwhat you know about.
SPEAKER_04 (10:47):
That's that's just the way that I found it to be
the easiest.
And quite frankly, there's justa lot I don't know about.
Try not to speak about anythingpolitical, really, because I
just don't follow politics.
It's not for me.
I feel like that's just a worldI don't even want to be involved
in.
SPEAKER_08 (11:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (11:01):
You won't have a choice, buddy.
That's not how the world works.
I understand.
Unless you pretty much move toyour own tiny little island.
Everything other people do willimpact you.
SPEAKER_04 (11:11):
That's the goal, man.
I want to be living with thehundred-year-olds in Okinawa and
Chipotle.
I'll hear you, I hear you.
Sipping tea.
SPEAKER_03 (11:17):
But even then, you'll have to vote for the
local governor of whatever isgoing on there.
But I hear you, I hear you.
I love that philosophy.
So your approach is more of aninquisitive approach.
So if you're going to speak onsomething and you don't know
much about it, you ask.
SPEAKER_04 (11:32):
I'll ask, yeah.
But I'm just not gonna publiclygo out and say something just
because the mass is.
If I don't know, I don't know.
I'm not gonna say something Idon't understand.
SPEAKER_03 (11:40):
Yeah.
So I respect that, right?
Because that that makes a lot ofsense.
I mean, you just made a verypowerful statement, right?
If I don't know about it, Iwon't speak on it.
I think that what someone frommy generation would say is be
involved in a way.
And and you're right, if you'regoing to be a recluse, right,
and you're going to livesomewhere and have your own
little spot, be off-grid, youknow, solar power, got your own
(12:01):
chickens and whatnot.
Yeah, it's possible.
But unfortunately, it's a globalworld.
Everything's interconnected.
And someone that you have noidea is controlling your fate
could be controlling it simplybecause they have eminent
domain.
So that little piece of landthat you bought, one day they
knock on your door and go, Yeah,you gotta sell.
You go, No, I'm not.
This is where I'm gonna die.
(12:21):
And they go, Yeah, we're gonnaput a pipeline right through
here.
So this is what it says, yougotta go.
And the reason you didn't knowthat is because the person you
didn't vote for allowed that tohappen.
Yeah, so politics impact all ofus.
I used to say the same thing.
I don't I hate politics, I don'twant to be involved, I don't
care.
And then I realized it's notjust the president, the
(12:42):
governor, but it's every singleperson.
You you're not voting for thesheriff for your local sheriff,
you're making a mistake.
You're not voting for your localjudges, you're making a mistake.
So wherever you live, you gottapay attention to what's
happening there because thepeople that are by default are
gonna be put in place to runyour life without you knowing,
(13:02):
they have a huge impact on you.
SPEAKER_07 (13:04):
Another one for me is how, because I know both of
you.
I know your hearts, I know howyou were raised, I know the type
of young men that you are.
So, how have you navigated beinga gentleman in this generation?
Because I feel like um, and thisis just from you haven't been on
social media much, so you don'tknow the rates.
SPEAKER_04 (13:22):
I I I know.
But um not that far off.
SPEAKER_07 (13:25):
Chivalry is not dead, not in my mind, and never
will be, but it's definitely notas celebrated, and there are
names given to men that aresimply just gentlemen.
And so, how have you navigatedopen just everything is
something for something?
I feel like before a young manopens a door, a young man treats
on a date, there's just certainthings a young man checks in to
(13:47):
like for a sign of life for awoman that he's pursuing every
single day.
There's just certain things nowwhere it's like, uh-uh, 50-50.
I need to be getting something,I'm not paying for this, I'm not
doing that, I'm not it's justvery strange.
And if a woman is expecting tobe treated a certain way, a man
is called names, for instance.
It's called tricking, or he'ssoft, or he doesn't understand
(14:11):
the game, you know, and it'sjust so strange to me because I
don't understand it, and I feelbad for the men that that's just
the way that they are, that'sjust the way that they date,
that's just the way that theytake care of the lady in their
life.
They're straight presenting men,so it makes sense.
SPEAKER_03 (14:25):
So who's calling these men that other men.
Oh, other men.
So there's men because I'm not pthey're not pursuing men, so it
who gives a shit.
SPEAKER_07 (14:32):
No, that's the thing.
That's that's what I'm thinking.
They might be but well, to kissthat out.
unknown (14:36):
Okay.
SPEAKER_07 (14:37):
But also women though, bitter women.
So bitter young ladies thataren't getting the treatment
that they want, or they'redealing with men that probably
shouldn't be dating at all.
They have no business datingbecause they can't take care of
themselves.
So then you go and you date thisman that's struggling but want
ac wants access to you.
So then you end up in thishorrible situation.
Now you're making fun of thegood guys.
(14:58):
So I see a lot of good guys thatare slowing down on being good
because they don't want to betaken advantage of.
And it's making dating a littlebit difficult for them, at least
for the male friends that Ihave.
They would be that way.
They were taught to date thatway, but they're just not
interested in either being takenadvantage of or just all around
(15:18):
looking like a clown.
So they're changing their datingstyle.
So obviously, it's very, verydifferent from how our parents
used to date back then.
Obviously, you guys know thatthere's a difference.
SPEAKER_12 (15:26):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (15:26):
So, do you think that this generation has changed
the way that you date and pursueyoung women?
SPEAKER_13 (15:32):
Not personally.
I'm still gonna be a gentlemanto any girl that lets me.
And it is difficult to date inthis generation for sure,
because they have a lot ofexpectations that I may not
qualify for in their mind.
But it's to me, it's justwaiting for that girl that will
allow me to be a gentleman.
(15:53):
Cause I love to open the door.
I would love to pay the check,check for signs of life, you
know, doing all the stuff that Ifeel like I should be doing.
But it's exactly like you said,like you get called names for
doing that.
I got called soft a couple oftimes.
More girls.
SPEAKER_03 (16:09):
Exactly.
But girls to call you that?
SPEAKER_07 (16:12):
Yes, I'm telling you, it's weird out here.
SPEAKER_03 (16:13):
I'm petty as shit.
So for me For me, all I hope isthat you find a nigga to beat
your head.
That's all I'm waiting on, so Ican be there laughing.
Because I'm gonna find me abeautiful woman that who's
understand who's classy andunderstands what she's worth.
SPEAKER_05 (16:28):
Meanwhile, because your life meanwhile, you have to
get a beat over there.
SPEAKER_03 (16:31):
It's a hard dude.
You know what I'm saying?
Because that's the thing.
You so you find someone who's agentleman, you find someone who
wants to take care of you, youfind someone who protects you.
SPEAKER_08 (16:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (16:39):
Because soft would come this way.
To me, the only way a womanwould call me soft for it to
make sense, is if you can'ttrust yourself to walk down a
dark alley with me.
If you're like, nah, if we'regonna go to the subway in New
York, you ain't the guy, then Iunderstand why you feel
concerned.
SPEAKER_07 (16:52):
Men are approaching me and I'm right in front of
you, and you're not sayinganything else.
SPEAKER_03 (16:55):
If you're not saying exactly, you know, it's or I
don't feel safe, then Iunderstand.
You know, because there's smalldudes with big hearts.
So it doesn't really matter ifyou're a small guy.
Right.
Right.
But there's a lot of people whoare, you know, not comfortable
being in your presence becauseyou're just kind of a scaredy
cat or whatever.
But if you're not that dude,anything else, because I'm
(17:16):
supposed to be tough to theentire world, but not with you.
SPEAKER_13 (17:18):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (17:19):
I'm supposed to be wearing this armor.
I'm supposed to have my shieldand my sword ready to fight the
entire world, but not with you.
With you, I put this shit down.
That's it.
Like what the hell?
SPEAKER_07 (17:29):
But that's what I'm saying.
It's when you're dating andpursuing someone, you can never
actually get to the talking andgetting to know everybody
because everybody's sofascinated with things like
social media.
It could be very vain.
So I do agree with taking breaksfrom that.
But there are some women thatbelieve that that toxicity and
that aggressiveness and thatpressure is what the man should
be doing to show that he caresabout you, to show that he loves
(17:52):
you.
So him not even wanting to goback and forth with a woman
because that's just what heknows is that's not the right
way to do anything.
That's him being soft.
Like I hit you with somethingcrazy, you're supposed to hit me
with something back, and you'rejust like, you got it.
Yeah, you're not sure.
I don't want to do that with youright now.
We'll talk later when you'recalm.
That is soft.
SPEAKER_03 (18:08):
Shit, I'm taking over because it's too easy for
me.
Because there comes a point.
Here's what I'm used to.
So there comes a point.
Here's what happens.
I'm not sure at what age ithits.
Yeah, down to what I wear, downto everything, we just don't
care.
I won't say things that areoffensive to people, right?
But I don't care at all aboutyour opinion of me.
(18:30):
To me, it blows my mind to knowthat you have to deal with this.
But I'll be honest with you, wedealt with it back then too.
It just wasn't as advertised andit wasn't in your Facebook
social media.
Right.
I have talked to women who havesaid that because they were in a
relationship where it wasabusive or the guy was really,
really jealous, and I wasn't, Idon't care enough because I'm
not acting all jealous andcrazy.
(18:51):
I'm like, that's not who I am.
SPEAKER_05 (18:53):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (18:53):
So that's a little That shouldn't be who he is
either.
SPEAKER_07 (18:55):
All of you guys need therapy.
SPEAKER_03 (18:56):
Yeah, exactly.
But I'm like, yo, exactly.
But that's not a new thing.
Yeah.
Women who've dealt with abuseand who've dealt with who have
accepted it as normal, they wantit to be normal for you as well.
This is normal in my world.
Why aren't you acting as crazyas my ex?
SPEAKER_13 (19:13):
They want you to change for them.
And I don't believe in that.
I'm gonna be me.
Yeah.
Like I said before.
And you if you don't want that,then you don't get me.
SPEAKER_03 (19:21):
Exactly.
Christian, you've been quiet,man.
What's your take on this wholebeing a gentleman and being who
you are?
SPEAKER_04 (19:27):
Um, I think again, I'm just lucky that I was raised
right.
I had a great father, and that'sa thing that's missing right
now.
I think a key piece in why menaren't being men in this
generation is definitelyfatherhood.
You need your fathers, boys needtheir fathers.
They need direction, andunfortunately, because of social
media, a lot of male directionis there.
(19:48):
Like it's all online.
So if they're not learning fromtheir fathers, they're learning
for what they see online.
Yeah.
And that's just swaying themasses as it always does with
everything.
Yes.
What social media does sways theopinions.
Yeah.
Right.
Sways what you learn.
SPEAKER_07 (20:03):
Things that make sense all of a sudden are being
debated.
SPEAKER_04 (20:05):
But the thing is, uh, again, about this uh
relationship and dating, when Ihad social media when I was 15,
16, around then, what you wouldsee like on TikTok, it would be
promotion of toxicity.
SPEAKER_09 (20:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (20:18):
Like they would be videos where you're laying in
bed on your phone at 12 a.m.
and it would show you some shitwhere you should overthink, you
should be toxic, it would justbe promotion of toxicity.
SPEAKER_07 (20:29):
Go through his phone, do this.
This person doesn't play aboutthis person.
It's like Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (20:33):
Next time you're on their phone, type this in so you
can see this, read this chat.
SPEAKER_07 (20:37):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_04 (20:38):
This is what they're probably doing while you're
sleeping.
SPEAKER_13 (20:40):
There's these guys on Instagram now that like they
pay other guys to test theirgirlfriends out.
SPEAKER_04 (20:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's crazy.
That's that's been a thing for aminute, though.
That's oh that's wild.
Social media room.
They're doing what?
It's like tests.
You you test you ask somebody totest your partner's loyalty.
Like they set up a whole programand everything and pay for it.
Yeah.
Oh my god, that's the business.
SPEAKER_07 (21:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (21:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (21:02):
And their partners are going that easy.
Like, if you would go pay, likeyou paid, you knew.
You knew they were going.
You didn't have to expose ifthat's the thing.
It's all the same stuffhappening over and over again.
But before it used to be word ofmouth, and it would stay in your
little town.
SPEAKER_04 (21:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (21:15):
Now it's now it happens right now, and it's
across the nation in like 30seconds.
It's insane.
It's insane.
SPEAKER_04 (21:23):
Yeah.
Nobody has any respect forprivacy anymore either.
SPEAKER_03 (21:26):
Well, we can't get the whole world to do what you
do.
So, what do you guys think theremedy is to salvage what's left
of your society?
Because there are discussionsbeing had right now about an
older generation saying thatthis is the last of the humans.
You're about to fuck this up.
(21:46):
And we won't even have a war.
No, not the rapture.
Wasn't that last week?
SPEAKER_08 (21:50):
I don't know.
I think it's supposed to betoday.
SPEAKER_03 (21:52):
It's a dangerous, dangerous world because there's
so much power with social media.
And essentially, the people whocontrol the fate of these
nuclear weapons, they're goingto retire and die.
It's going to be y'all.
Yeah.
Right.
So my question is picture peoplewho are essentially going to be
in charge of the entire world.
SPEAKER_08 (22:13):
Jesus.
SPEAKER_03 (22:14):
Science is being eradicated.
SPEAKER_04 (22:16):
You know, the education system is being
eroded.
But I feel like to be fair, ourgeneration just missed that.
I think we'll be okay.
I think it's Gen Alpha, the nextone after us.
That's what I'm in fear of.
SPEAKER_08 (22:26):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_04 (22:26):
We're maturing.
SPEAKER_03 (22:29):
It's gonna be that.
Okay, see, when we say yourgeneration, we think anybody
younger than we are.
So we just put everybody in onegiant bucket.
So Well, we're Gen Z.
SPEAKER_07 (22:38):
We still had some outside time.
Alpha's after us.
What's Gen X?
SPEAKER_04 (22:41):
Alpha's like 2009s and tens of.
Oh nigga me.
No.
SPEAKER_08 (22:49):
We'll do it a minute.
SPEAKER_03 (22:50):
I don't know if we're gonna figure this out
because Yeah, just just askwhat's the generation and the
age.
SPEAKER_07 (23:01):
Are y'all okay?
SPEAKER_03 (23:02):
I'm Gen X.
Correct.
The best generation in theworld, Dan.
We created all this stuff thatyou can say.
Yeah, like the crack and allkinds of stuff.
Crack?
How about the internet?
The crack.
SPEAKER_09 (23:14):
That's what we just talked about.
What's the problem?
What's the internet?
Thanks a lot.
SPEAKER_03 (23:18):
Y'all left us with your problem.
We invented the technology.
No, no, no.
We invented the technology, butjust no different than someone
who invented the knife andsomeone who discovered fire.
You decide to commit arson.
Oh.
Don't point at me.
unknown (23:33):
Do a circle.
SPEAKER_03 (23:35):
No, but that's that's actually, you know, the
tools are there, right?
But you were saying somethingabout your generation.
I'm sorry.
You were saying that you thinkyour generation, the Gen Z
generation, is gonna beperfectly fine.
SPEAKER_04 (23:45):
Yeah, because we just missed all that AI stuff.
Like the ends of our generation,like the 2008.
I'm not even gonna go as far asto say the 2012s, because they
like us as high schoolers, wedidn't have the AI when we were
in high school.
Right.
That came now a couple years agonow.
Right.
So we graduated correctly.
(24:08):
We were cheating.
We still had the energy.
We all cheated.
We all found a way.
Somehow, somewhere.
SPEAKER_03 (24:13):
Yeah, some kind of way.
But it wasn't like, hey, my Icould just rest my brain, leave
it at home on the shelf, and goin some some kind of way
graduate.
SPEAKER_04 (24:21):
But we still had to be creative somehow to cheat.
You still had to use someability to cheat.
Now you just type it in chatBGPT, make this the best way
possible.
SPEAKER_03 (24:32):
Do it.
And tell it.
Don't make it sound like uhchat, by the way.
Make it sound like me.
Dumb it down.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (24:37):
Then you edit it and be like, mm-hmm, nah, one more
time.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (24:40):
I go back and forth.
Too smart.
SPEAKER_04 (24:42):
Technology is beautiful, man.
Humans are just humans.
SPEAKER_08 (24:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (24:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (24:47):
No problem.
SPEAKER_03 (24:48):
Someone said on the podcast too, they said exactly
exactly that.
So technology is amazing.
AI won't destroy us.
Stupid humans using AI willdestroy us.
Correct.
It will not be AI that's gonnabecome sentient and just like
ruin the world.
It'll be us.
What was our generation?
unknown (25:03):
Alpha.
SPEAKER_03 (25:03):
The one after you guys?
Alpha.
It'll be them.
Yeah, for sure.
unknown (25:06):
Great.
SPEAKER_03 (25:07):
Hopefully by then I'm on my little island.
Alright.
I just spent a little bit oftime here on the soapbox, kind
of shitting on your generation.
Right?
Why not?
Why not?
You know, you can't shit on minebecause we're awesome.
SPEAKER_07 (25:20):
I disagree.
SPEAKER_03 (25:21):
Okay.
I mean, there are books.
There's has your generationwritten a book yet?
SPEAKER_04 (25:27):
Don't worry, we'll make some in a couple years when
we're your age.
SPEAKER_05 (25:29):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (25:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_05 (25:29):
Chat GPT.
unknown (25:31):
Chat GPT.
Therapy.
SPEAKER_03 (25:34):
But like the question is, you're being told a
lot.
I know there's a lot of pressureon you guys.
You know, figure it out, figureit out.
Know what you want to do, get itaccomplished, get it done.
When I was your age, I was doingX, Y, and Z, and you guys aren't
doing enough, etc.
And maybe not you personally,but I'm sure you guys are
familiar with that narrative.
Right.
But I don't see a ton ofguidance for that to be a fair
(25:56):
chastisement or any kind of uhrequest, so to speak.
SPEAKER_07 (26:00):
A lot of unsolicited advice, I think.
But not no steps.
Like, okay, yeah, I hear you.
You're telling me from yourperspective that I shouldn't be
doing this.
Okay, great.
But like what should I be doing?
I'm I'm doing life for the firsttime, as you are.
But what's next?
Like where do I go from here?
I'm just I know what I shouldn'tbe doing, but knowing what I
should be doing is kind of whereI'm at.
(26:21):
And I think that you get a lotmore advice from the people that
you don't really want to belike.
SPEAKER_03 (26:26):
That one's easy.
I always found that why wouldyou want to take directions from
them because they haven't beenwhere you're trying to go?
Right.
So don't listen.
But at the same token, is itfair to say that you're not
getting guidance?
I know I just said it, but is itfair to say that you're not
getting it when there's so muchof information available on the
internet?
Like whatever you want to do,whatever you want to be, you
(26:46):
have more access today thananybody in the world's ever had
for free.
SPEAKER_13 (27:01):
So it's just like I guess a live and learn type of
thing.
Try it.
If it doesn't work, try it againand then try to figure it out
the right way.
Or try to find someone that hasbeen or is where you are trying
to go and listen to them insteadof listening to some bozo that
isn't where you are or where youwant to be.
SPEAKER_07 (27:18):
Can I be honest though?
SPEAKER_13 (27:19):
Please.
SPEAKER_07 (27:19):
I think the one thing that our generation lacks
that yours does not.
So your point is that ourgeneration lacks discipline in
every sense of it.
Because you've said this to usso many times.
It's not the information on howto be a millionaire is out
there.
It's not a big secret.
You don't have to join a secretsociety.
There's no pledging.
It's out there, it's free.
You can buy it for$19.99,$40,you can go to a seminar,
(27:42):
whatever you want to do, it'sout there.
You just have to do what youneed to do and apply how you
need to apply to become one.
And the 1% or less than does it.
So it's the same thing with us,I think.
It's the good advice is there.
The shows are there, theseminars are there, the people
are there.
If it's a couple you, you know,want to start getting mentorship
from, or if it's someone in yourprofession, or if it's anything
(28:06):
like that, it's out there.
It's just going out there,finding it, doing the research,
being disciplined, changing yourlifestyle.
And I think that's the hardestthing for us because we again,
not to blame social media, buteverybody's falling into this
fake reality where you can justchange your mind every 15
seconds and be-I mean, you canbe who you want to be, but
there's always going to be workbehind everything.
(28:28):
But I think everybody just showsthe beautiful side of everything
and not the work that goesbehind it.
They don't show the hours thatyou're grinding, the
frustrations, the one ideafailing, and the next one
starting back up.
Like nobody's really pushing outthe real anymore.
So you don't really know whatadvice to take because you don't
know how much of it is genuine.
(28:49):
So I think staying away fromadvice, but more so sticking
towards research and plans andshort-term goals and long-term
goals and business plans andaccountability partners, and
that's more so where your mindshould be and not just listening
to advice.
SPEAKER_03 (29:05):
Yeah.
Do you think that also everyonejust wants the rewards a whole
lot quicker?
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Everyone's looking for like whatdo you call it?
It's um dopamine.
Yeah, no, they when they'relooking for that hack.
Everyone needs a hack, right?
Like the shortcut, you know,yeah, exactly.
Like get rich quick.
Give me this play so I can gorun it real quick, and then
boom, I can make a ton of money.
(29:27):
To your point, what they'reseeing is the guy who's already
done this, he's only showing youthe success.
Right.
He's not showing you when you gopick up a book, for example, and
you decide to read someone, youknow, like a book by any one of
the greats, and you watch andyou go 10, 15 years of failure,
and they explain all this to youand they break it all down.
(29:48):
These guys are not about theinternet.
They are not like, oh, look atme, look at my lifestyle, look
at my private jet.
Now they'll tell you this iswhat happened.
They tell you, like, look, wewere doing this and we were
failing.
And we win again and again andagain and again.
Number one, know what you wantto do, know what you want you
want to accomplish.
And then, but you also have tounderstand that most people they
(30:09):
overestimate what they can do inone year, but they all
underestimate what they can doin 10.
You know, again, you have tohave the right vehicle.
You don't want to get intosomething where you're just
like, I don't know, I'm gonnasell pet rocks and give it 10
years and see if it works.
SPEAKER_10 (30:23):
I'm really into it.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (30:25):
You still have to pick the right vehicle.
It has to make sense, it has tobe your need, you have to be
solving a problem, etc.
But at the end of the day, ifyou're not gonna stick to it and
you're not gonna work hard at itfor most of a decade, if it's
your own dream, your ownpassion, I think that's what's
missing.
So if I were to say, hey, whatare you gonna do in the next 10
years?
It's 2025, you've got your 2035,what does your life look like
(30:49):
and how you're gonna get there?
SPEAKER_07 (30:50):
Dirty is not that far away, guys, just to let you
know.
You blink and then you're almostthere.
SPEAKER_04 (30:55):
Yep.
SPEAKER_07 (30:56):
Very close.
SPEAKER_04 (30:58):
I mean, me and him, we just got here.
It's our first day.
I don't know.
First day of 2020.
SPEAKER_02 (31:03):
Just turn 20.
SPEAKER_04 (31:05):
The image has changed due to certain things
over the years, but I mean thethe bigger picture's always kind
of been the same.
You know, like I said, it'salways just been one thing and
one thing only.
It's still gonna be a part of mylife, then even if I'm not
playing, it's still gonna be apart of my life.
But no, I don't have the fullpicture yet.
But I have an idea of who I wantto be, and I think right now
(31:26):
that's more important to me.
I like it.
I think I'll figure outeventually where I want to be.
But for now, I think theidentity is is real important.
I think I must obtain thatfirst.
Yeah.
My strong willpower would be thecore that kind of pushes me to
continue being a good man, agood soul.
I think I would say because ofmy father, I'm very spiritual,
(31:49):
so I want my soul to be clean.
I want to be a good person onthis earth.
So I guess everything that I dokind of goes towards that.
That aligns my decisions, thataligns the path that I go on in
my life.
So wherever I end up, I justwant to make sure that my soul
feels right.
Dang.
SPEAKER_09 (32:10):
What's yours?
Yeah, like but it's not aboutyour soul being good.
SPEAKER_13 (32:16):
That's a part of it, maybe.
No one knows where they're gonnabe in ten years, but I would
like to help people not only ason a personal level, but as a
um, you know, as a career.
As I said before, what I reallywant to accomplish is being a
nurse, and that's been a thingsince I was a kid.
I've always wanted to helppeople in any way, shape, or
(32:38):
form.
So just to have that opportunityand be able to share that with a
lot of people in that fieldspecifically.
That's cool, man.
SPEAKER_10 (32:46):
I'm gonna cry.
One wants a good soul and theother one wants to help people.
SPEAKER_04 (32:50):
Yeah.
I think also what's pushing metoo is just this this
generation.
I feel like a lot of us are notgonna be good souls.
We need help.
unknown (33:04):
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (33:04):
We're losing.
I agree.
SPEAKER_03 (33:06):
All right, let's talk about finance for a little
bit.
SPEAKER_07 (33:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (33:08):
Moving out at 20, having your own, buying a car,
doing all these things.
Is there pressure to do that?
Or how realistic is that todayin your world?
SPEAKER_13 (33:16):
Well, I mean, it's realistic if you want to do it.
You can get a job, save up, andget a car, save up and move out.
It's not easy, but it'spossible.
And it's when you see thatexpense list that it gives you a
really big reality check.
That's when you're like, oh myGod, yeah, maybe I don't want
all that.
SPEAKER_03 (33:35):
So are people your age staying at home a little
longer now, as opposed tobecause I couldn't wait to move
out?
SPEAKER_04 (33:42):
I think I'm a special case because for me,
I've this sounds bad, but I'vebeen looking to move out since I
was like 15.
Who doesn't?
But that was just because I hadto grow up really early.
You know, I I went to Portugalby myself for three months.
I lived there alone, and I hadto grow up and live like an
adult for three months.
Three months sounds short, butfor a 14-year-old who was you
(34:04):
know basically pampered hiswhole life, that felt like an
eternity.
But it changed me.
And then after that, likethrough the out the years, 15,
16, 17, I was I was used to it.
I was used to being alone.
I was used to living alone.
SPEAKER_03 (34:17):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (34:17):
So I would just go out to wherever I was and
especially since then since I'vebeen playing in academies, I've
just been away from home.
So being at home actually feelsuncomfortable to me.
I'm already past that point.
SPEAKER_03 (34:30):
What about yourself, Julian?
Would you prefer to live on yourown, or do you feel that it's
more economical and makes moresense to stay where you are
while you build, considering howexpensive life is?
SPEAKER_10 (34:42):
Julian can't cook.
SPEAKER_03 (34:43):
And I can learn.
SPEAKER_13 (34:45):
Internet.
SPEAKER_10 (34:46):
He needs people.
SPEAKER_13 (34:47):
Anyways.
SPEAKER_10 (34:48):
Huh?
SPEAKER_13 (34:49):
Rice cookers and air price, that's all you need.
SPEAKER_10 (34:51):
Oh.
SPEAKER_13 (34:51):
That's all you need.
Period.
SPEAKER_08 (34:52):
He'll survive.
SPEAKER_13 (34:53):
Life is good, so there you go.
Right.
So um in the in the currentstate that I'm in, I think it
would be roughly the same if Ijust get my own place.
So I would I would like to getmy own place because I'm already
paying rent.
And then on top of that, I'mpaying for insurance and other
bills.
And groceries and phone bill andall that I'm already
contributing to the house, so Ifeel like if I got my own place,
(35:15):
I already know how to do certainthings.
Now, I'm terrible at budgeting.
Once I take care of thenecessities, I'm like Well, the
first time you get kicked out ofa of an apartment, that'll solve
that problem.
I really hope I don't have toget to that point, you know.
You learn to budget real quick.
Um, but yeah, uh, I would Iwould like that sense of freedom
(35:38):
because that's what I got.
I think um when I first went touniversity, just being alone was
like, this is great.
I don't need anyone to wake meup.
No, I did have to wake up, butit was like I don't have anyone
telling me what to do.
I can just be my own person.
And you also said, do you see alot more people staying with in
(36:01):
their houses, like with theirfamilies?
Was that part of the question?
SPEAKER_03 (36:04):
Yeah.
Is that something you guys areseeing now with your generation,
with your friends?
Are they are they celebrated?
Yeah, or is moving out like athing.
Because in some cultures, youdon't leave until you're
married.
They stay in the house, youknow, they participate, they
contribute, they help, and theydo all that stuff, and you know,
hell in the Haitian culture,it's like that, you know, in
(36:24):
Haiti, not here.
It was a normal thing for a34-35-year-old man who was
unmarried to still live at home,but he was working, he was
paying the bills.
He basically became the man ofthe house.
Sometimes that would, you know,dad was retired or whatever, but
that's the guy, that's the man,right?
But he was still living at home,and they were bills that he did
just didn't have because hestayed there until he got a
(36:46):
wife, and then she moved out, hemoved out, then he went and got
their own place.
SPEAKER_07 (36:50):
That's what I'm saying.
Like, our generation celebratesweird things.
Like you have to have increaseddebt.
Like you're made fun of if youdon't.
Like, if you can live home withyour family, you have your own
space, you're not botheringanybody, you're not having to
pay certain bills, you can save,you can invest, you can do all
these different things.
Usually, if you live home,that's the setup.
(37:12):
And you're able to do that, andyou can stay there until you
graduate or you're in yourcareer, you're married, or
whatever it is, then that makessense.
But now it's like he don't havehis own car, or he does have a
car, but it ain't no note, youknow.
He it's one of those cash cars.
Like, what since when was owningyour car like a vet?
Are y'all okay?
And then it's the same thingwith living at home.
(37:32):
Like he doesn't have his ownspot.
Why why does he need to bepaying rent somewhere if he has
his own space?
You know, as long as he's notsharing a room with his mom.
Like, who who cares?
It's it everything pushing themout.
SPEAKER_03 (37:44):
Not sure if you guys would know this, but is this
more of a black thing?
Because I gotta tell you, like,the average millionaire wears
regular clothes.
You've seen the way Bill Gateslooks when he goes out, right?
And he's not a millionaire, he'sa multi-billionaire.
They're not showing up foranybody.
SPEAKER_05 (37:59):
Right.
SPEAKER_03 (37:59):
And I'm not saying that the black ones are, but I'm
wondering with that younggeneration, if they're looking
at social media and they'refeeling that that's the way it
should be.
Man, black people got a lot tocorrect culturally.
SPEAKER_04 (38:14):
We got a lot, yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (38:15):
Too impersonable.
It's just not knowing better.
It's I think it's justeverything is very surface level
and you have to look the part.
And it's because that confidenceis not there, that maturity is
not there.
I'm not gonna say it's lack ofintelligence.
I think ignorance is just it'ssuch a bad word that it's okay
to be ignorant in a certainsubject and then want to learn
(38:35):
and want to progress.
And I think that you just wantto look the part, right?
You want to drive a nice car,you want to have your own place
that has all the lightseverywhere, you wanna have a
great job, you wanna have allthis money that you can flash
around.
It's like it's just looking thepart.
Nobody cares if you'reemotionally mature, if you're
healed, if you're spiritual atall, if you're a good person in
(38:56):
any capacity, if your familyeven likes you, like those are
not the things that arecelebrated at all.
But if let you be a 24,25-year-old man and you're still
living at home and you drive acar that you might have to roll
the window down, but can'tnobody can take it from you.
It's your car.
And I think that the details arewhat everybody's focused on.
It's not the big picture, it'sthe details.
Like, how can we make thisperson more insecure?
(39:19):
How can we make this person wantsomething else?
SPEAKER_05 (39:21):
Damn.
SPEAKER_07 (39:21):
Want more.
And I'm not saying becomfortable, you should always
want more, but stay where you'reat.
Don't put yourself into a badsituation to please the mass.
Because I promise you, once youstart to struggle, the masses
will not help you.
100%.
Once they come and get all yourstuff and all you got is your
mom's bedroom.
That's why a lot of people aregoing back to living at home, by
the way.
SPEAKER_03 (39:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (39:38):
It's because they've lost everything trying to save
face.
SPEAKER_03 (39:41):
Well, so good thing they lost it early, right?
Because they 18, 19, they moveout, they go do all this other
stuff, and by 21, they lose itall and they go back home.
Which is fine, because you'restill just 21.
Exactly.
Right?
At that point, it's like, oh,you maybe you've maybe you've
learned, yeah.
And then you could do somethinga little bit differently.
SPEAKER_08 (39:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (39:56):
We're just pushed to want more of the wrong things.
SPEAKER_08 (40:00):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (40:01):
How about your mental health and just your
mental stability, masculinity?
I guess one of the firstquestions that I have is do you
feel safe talking about yourstruggles, whatever those
struggles may be?
Depends on the person.
SPEAKER_13 (40:15):
Like I can talk to immediate family easily.
She's waiting for a shout-up.
SPEAKER_09 (40:20):
Your two besties are sitting right next to you.
So I'm trying to figure out doyou not feel safe?
SPEAKER_13 (40:24):
No, definitely around family for sure.
But once it gets to friends, Iwouldn't even talk about stuff
going on at home, stuff going onwith me if there is anything
going on.
Because depends on yoursurroundings.
SPEAKER_08 (40:38):
You don't have good friends.
SPEAKER_13 (40:40):
I agree.
SPEAKER_08 (40:41):
Okay.
That's why.
SPEAKER_13 (40:43):
But I don't need them to talk about what I go
through.
I have family, and to me that'senough because I feel like they
can understand what I'm goingthrough than anyone else.
Like this circle right now, Ican talk to all of you about
what I'm going through, andthat's enough.
That's all I need.
How about you guys?
SPEAKER_07 (41:00):
Mental health is a little bit different for me.
I've been on like a fast trackto just getting better every
day, being better every day.
Part of it is mainly because Ihad kids young.
So I just don't want to createany more damage than I'm already
destined to.
You just can't ever be theperfect parent, but at least I
want them to know like momtried.
(41:21):
Mom was able to haveconversations through a
difficult season.
Mom can take constructivecriticism.
Mom can have hard conversations.
Mom can express when she'shaving big feelings.
And so I'm I work through mymental health by parenting,
which is insane.
I'm also in therapy.
I'm a part of as many groups asI can be a part of with
different age groups.
So I have one group of womenthat I deal with that are peers,
(41:42):
we're all the same age.
And then I have a differentgroup where I'm the youngest.
And I think the oldest issomewhere in her 50s.
So I try to surround myself withpeople that I can learn from.
And so when I struggle mentally,which I do, I definitely do
therapy is not going to fix itall.
I'm able to either get myselftogether quickly or just take a
mental rest, or I can reach outto someone and just say, hey,
(42:06):
I'm feeling wacky.
What's going on?
But I don't, I definitely feellike I've created that safe
space.
And I think that feelings arenot something that should be
avoided.
Like if you're feeling somethingcrazy, somebody else somewhere
has felt that one thing.
Just don't suffer in silence.
Say something to somebody.
But good counsel.
Don't just start talking topeople because there's someone
standing in front of you.
It needs to be someone that canteach you something.
(42:28):
Someone that's not going torepeat that information back to
you when it's, you know, totheir benefit.
Someone that will actuallyretain the information and give
you good counsel back, and ifnothing else, at least just hold
you when you need to be helped.
SPEAKER_04 (42:40):
So that's that's good stuff.
Yeah.
What about you, Kiki?
I feel bad in saying this nowafter both of their takes.
But absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
That has been one of my uh mostdifficult things to conquer.
Um, it ties in with how I wasraised, but for me, I feel like
(43:01):
my safe place has becomeknowledge.
Like I don't I don't do therapy,I don't really talk to anybody.
I feel like to figure out myproblems and to feel okay, I
seek knowledge.
I just read.
I read, I go watch videos, I golearn about something that seems
similar to my problem, but Istruggle really bad with talking
(43:22):
to people about it because Ithink it's a number of reasons,
but I think one of the big onesis because in my mind I've
already deemed people incapableof helping me with this problem.
And that kind of ties into whatyou were saying earlier, and
what you were saying as well islike not taking advice from
people you don't feel are suitedfor, they're not in a position
you want to be in.
And I already done my wholeevaluation of this person.
(43:45):
I know this person.
SPEAKER_10 (43:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (43:47):
So I put two and two together, and I'm like, this
problem doesn't really seemsuited for this person, so I'm
just gonna go figure it out theway I know best.
I would say that's probably myproblem.
Another one would be more oflike uh I'd say probably just
this this happens to more thanjust me.
I know this is like agenerational thing, but the way
I was raised, I was basicallyraised like an only child.
(44:07):
Okay.
I had two older brothers, butthey are my half-brothers, they
weren't always around.
They were nine and eight yearsolder than me, so the
relationship wasn't reallythere.
Right.
So I was basically an only childbecause they left really early
too.
And my parents were not people Icould communicate with.
And a fun fact about me is I'vebeen homeschooled since third
grade.
SPEAKER_08 (44:26):
That's kind of dope.
SPEAKER_04 (44:27):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (44:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (44:28):
I've experienced the world a lot differently from
people very, very differently.
Very differently.
Very differently.
I've experienced differentcultures and different
countries.
Like I've been around the world,I've seen a lot.
Yeah.
Still so much more to see, stillso much more to learn and
experience, I know.
But yeah, for where I'm at rightnow, the safe space,
communication, I've deemed itjust to be my temple.
(44:52):
Me.
I am my safe space.
SPEAKER_03 (44:54):
That's interesting.
What are some of the books thatyou read, or that you've read
rather, that help you realizethat this path you're on is the
correct path for yourself?
The Alchemist.
I've read it too.
Love that book.
My favorite.
I've read it f six times.
Pablo Coelho.
Yes, sir.
SPEAKER_07 (45:11):
Do you have it here or is it on Audible?
SPEAKER_03 (45:14):
Everything that I have is on Audible.
I might have the actual physicalbook.
I'll see if I have it.
I'll have it.
SPEAKER_04 (45:18):
Another one by him that I love, though, is The
Pilgrimage.
It's a great one.
Not yet.
I'll check that out.
You should read that one.
It's a great one.
Similar to The Alchemist.
This book called Ikigai, Iactually got it tattooed.
This is what this means on myarm.
It's like uh it's a Japanesephilosophy, which means your
reason for being.
And it's also why I said I wantto go live with the
hundred-year-olds in uh Okinawain Japan, because they talk
(45:39):
about a village where that'slike literally their philosophy,
that's their belief.
They talk about the importanceof community in your life and
how that expands your life andjust your well-being, your
health, your overall physicaland mental health.
I talk about finding a purposein your life, whatever it may
be, just something that givesyou a reason to live, that
(46:00):
guides you so you don't feellost.
It just it's it's a beautifulbook.
It teaches you a lot.
And I read that when I was 16 or17, because at 15 I was still a
little problem child.
And what's it called?
Ikigai.
SPEAKER_03 (46:13):
Ikigai.
SPEAKER_04 (46:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (46:14):
All right.
Send me that so I can just addit to the show notes.
SPEAKER_04 (46:17):
We'll do.
SPEAKER_03 (46:17):
It's interesting because there's you know, three
different takes here.
There's the I've got people totalk to and I trust and I share
my struggles with them.
Then there's the I definitelyhave peer groups and other
groups and there's therapy, andthen there's the I'll solve it
myself because I'll findknowledge because I don't trust
that the people that I would goto have the resources to help
(46:40):
me.
Yes.
I think all three are valid.
SPEAKER_07 (46:42):
I'll extend an olive branch.
I might not have any advice, butif you just need to call and
curse, you can call.
I'll mute myself and mind mybusiness, and then you can just
hang up right in my face.
SPEAKER_04 (46:51):
Okay.
Okay.
Don't worry.
SPEAKER_07 (46:53):
There's that.
SPEAKER_03 (46:53):
We'll hang out.
SPEAKER_07 (46:54):
Okay, perfect.
SPEAKER_03 (46:55):
All right.
As we wrap it up, what are yourgreatest fears for the next five
to ten years?
SPEAKER_07 (47:00):
That I'll waste another five to ten years.
Ooh.
That's it.
I just want to keep going.
I want the train to go and Idon't want it to stop.
Like, I it's okay.
I don't mind the trials.
I don't mind struggling.
I don't even mind starting over.
But I just don't want to belike, damn.
SPEAKER_03 (47:14):
Ten years went by.
SPEAKER_07 (47:16):
And I'm not doing nothing but getting older.
SPEAKER_03 (47:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (47:19):
And my back is getting wider.
I'm starting to get closer tomenopause.
Like, think I'm I mean, it's notfunny, Julian.
SPEAKER_02 (47:25):
You get like 20s, man.
You're just talking aboutmenopause.
You need to chill.
I think you got a little whileto go.
SPEAKER_07 (47:31):
You know what I mean?
You start thinking aboutdifferent things in different
decades, but I just I don'tknow.
I just don't want I want to beproud of me then.
I don't want to look back and belike, okay, I still have more
life, God willing.
Like, I'm gonna keep going.
I want to be proud of where I'mat.
Proud of my progress, I'll say.
SPEAKER_13 (47:46):
Very nice.
Uh pretty much on the same boat.
I don't want to wait.
Stop copying people's shit.
You're gonna depend on it.
SPEAKER_10 (47:53):
Wait a minute.
SPEAKER_13 (47:54):
Don't even let me finish.
What I was going to say.
I'll say this.
Basically piggybacking off ofthat, but I don't my biggest
thing, and I said this on thelast podcast I was on, I don't
like disappointing people.
You know, that kind of thatbrings me down once I know.
Only to immediate family though.
I don't really care about whatother people say, but just
(48:16):
hearing like you not to sayyou're disappointed, but just
kind of getting around that areathat kind of brings me low.
So doing something or getting tothe end of that five to ten year
run and then just not beingwhere you know the expectation
was, I guess, except for myself.
I'll set my own expectations,not get there, and then not only
am I not happy with where I am,but other people share the same
(48:40):
feelings.
SPEAKER_04 (48:40):
So you want your family just to be proud and
happy of where you are.
SPEAKER_13 (48:43):
Yeah.
That's that's the ultimate goal.
I would like my family to beproud of where I am.
SPEAKER_04 (48:49):
Well, you're also happy where you are.
100%.
Yeah.
Same thing, man.
SPEAKER_03 (48:54):
Other than the little island moving and you
don't know where to find thoseguys.
SPEAKER_02 (48:57):
Like, where'd they go?
SPEAKER_04 (49:01):
I just I just don't want to lose myself within these
next five, ten years, I guess.
I just want to make sure I stayon my path.
Mm-hmm.
Stay me.
Yeah.
Because I know it's very easyfor man to lose his way.
SPEAKER_03 (49:13):
Very easy.
Or to go off track, and by thetime you come back to the track
you're supposed to be on, 10, 15years have gone by.
Well, yeah.
Or you come back and it's allovergrown and you can't see the
path anymore.
What are you most hopeful about?
SPEAKER_08 (49:27):
Most hopeful.
SPEAKER_03 (49:28):
No, Julian gotta go first or you're gonna copy
somebody's shit.
SPEAKER_08 (49:31):
You're right, Julian go.
SPEAKER_03 (49:32):
Wow.
SPEAKER_08 (49:33):
Tell us I'm gonna piggyback.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_13 (49:37):
See that?
Wow.
As a man and as a as anindividual, continue to learn,
continue to find knowledge.
As you always tell me a milliontimes, knowledge isn't power.
The application of knowledge ispower.
So not just finding knowledge,but applying that knowledge to
myself and to continue to growas a person and as a man.
SPEAKER_04 (49:59):
That's what's up.
Yeah, I'm gonna pick you backup.
I think I'll say within the nextfive to ten years, the thing I'm
most hopeful for is makingeverything that my parents gave
to me worth it.
They've both given me a lot indifferent ways.
So it's gonna be pretty hard tomake that happen, but I think
that's what I'm looking forwardto the most.
(50:22):
Nice.
SPEAKER_06 (50:24):
I want to be stable in my nannying nest.
SPEAKER_03 (50:27):
In your what?
SPEAKER_06 (50:28):
Nannying nest.
That's what the nest is my myjam.
SPEAKER_08 (50:33):
Guys, my dad doesn't know about my businesses.
I bet he's gonna cut this outtoo.
SPEAKER_07 (50:37):
So I want there to be something stable.
I want to have an actual centerby then.
I want to be able to homeschoolas well.
I want to teach my children.
I want to teach a lot ofchildren.
So I'm more hopeful in finallychoosing me this year and
choosing to start over andstruggle and thrive and it just
(51:00):
be for me.
My ideas, I don't want to do itfor anybody else anymore.
I don't want to be underanybody's team.
So I am hopeful of just beingsuccessful alone with my team.
SPEAKER_03 (51:11):
I've given you guys a lot of shit about, you know,
how our generation sees you, butfor the most part, that's not.
That's just me teasing.
The reality is if anyone has ableak outlook on things, it's
probably people my age.
But listening to you guys andtalking to you, every generation
faces their own battles.
Yeah.
But listening to you, seeingyour outlook on life, seeing how
(51:34):
you guys are, tells us where theworld is going and it's going to
a good place.
So I thank you for being on theshow.
I love you guys.
SPEAKER_06 (51:41):
Love you.
SPEAKER_03 (51:43):
So as we wrap up, someone has to do the outro.
SPEAKER_08 (51:48):
I don't have it.
I don't.
SPEAKER_03 (51:50):
And uh we have to pick someone that you're going
to be.
Are you ready?
You're mini mouse.
Go.
SPEAKER_01 (51:56):
Hey friend.
Please support us by followingthe show.
Leave us a five-star review onApple Podcasts.
Thank you so much for listening.
We'll catch you next week whenwe share conversations
surrounding real issues we dealwith every day.
Manhood Matters, we're out.
SPEAKER_02 (52:11):
A little voice.
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