August 4, 2025 • 53 mins
*** Warning: This episode mentions su!cide, addiction, & mental illness ***
What happens when a man faces his demons head-on after three decades of alcoholism? Kenneth "Sober Scooter" Reddick II, reveals his extraordinary journey from the depths of addiction to becoming a beacon of hope for Black men struggling with mental health challenges.
Scooter's story begins with raw vulnerability as he recounts surviving three suicide attempts while under the influence. "I was in a situation where I just felt nobody cared and I just didn't want to be here," he shares. The turning point came on February 2, 2022—a date with angelic significance (2-2-22)—when Scooter embraced sobriety and discovered his true purpose in helping others heal.
Through his Brothers Brunch Foundation, Scooter champions a revolutionary approach to mental wellness. "Every time we say mental health in the Black community, everybody wants to say nothing's wrong with me," he explains. That's why he focuses on "mental health fitness"—teaching men to strengthen their minds like muscles to better handle life's challenges. His five principles—sleep, breathing, meditation, exercise, and therapy—form the backbone of this proactive approach.
Most powerfully, Scooter addresses the unique burdens Black men carry: "It's five to six generations of unhealed birth trauma." This generational weight requires intentional healing, which begins with self-care. "Put your oxygen mask on first," he advises, challenging the notion that seeking help shows weakness. Through his work with fathers and sons, he's "bridging the generational gap of mental health awareness," teaching that "you can't cuss, fuss, or beat you out of your child."
Scooter's wisdom culminates in a profound truth: "Triggering is lessened when healing is increased." His transformation from seeking everyone's approval to finding peace within himself offers hope to anyone struggling with addiction or mental health challenges. As he puts it, "When we find our purpose, we find our peace."
Ready to prioritize your mental fitness? Visit brothersbrunchfoundation.com to learn how you can support this vital work or find resources for your own healing journey.
Please follow on IG: @brothersbrunchfoundationinc @soberscooter
Email us at manhoodmatterspodcast@gmail.com
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Host: StéphaneAlexandre
IG: @stephanealexandreofficial
Music by Liam Weisner
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So every time I tried to unalive myself, I was under
the influence.
I was in a situation where Ijust felt nobody cared and I
just didn't want to be here.
Alcohol is a depressant.
A lot of people don't realizethat it actually impacts the
neurotransmitters of your brain.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
So you're never able to as an alcoholic for 30 years,
and so every time you woulddrink.
And I tell people, when youdrink, it's not just that your
body is dehydrated, You've putyour body in a state of
depression.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Kenneth Reddick Jr, better known as Sober Scooter
these days.
He is now three and a halfyears sober, which is an
incredible feat considering whathe's gone through.
He has survived several suicideattempts and is entirely driven
by his mission to serve andhelp others.
I am joined with my brother,jabari Pride, and I will ask
(00:54):
that if you know anyone who isstruggling with any kind of
addiction, be it alcohol, drugs,sin in this episode, share it
with them.
Out to the brothers brunchfoundation.
What I love about scooter he isa very humble person and his
approach is I've been where youare and I can tell you my story
(01:15):
and we can rely on my pain as abeacon to guide you out of your
tunnel in your darkness.
Welcome to manhood.
Let's get to it.
Entrepreneurs climb real tallechoes of fine time, expressions
(01:44):
, friends, powerful blend,tackling issues that never end.
From our perspective, we areback in the building.
What's going on, fellas?
What's good?
What's good?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Jabari.
Hello sir, returning champ.
What's up, bro?
Man, it feels so good to beback.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yeah, it's been too long.
Every once in a while, yougrace us with your presence.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
I appreciate it, bro.
I mean, I can't come all thetime, then it just wouldn't mean
anything.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yeah, well, that sounded weird.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
All right.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Scooter's been on the show before at the barbershop
special that we did, yes, butnow he's in the studio with us.
Because I really want to focuson your story, brother, so why
don't we start with youintroducing yourself and tell us
about where you are today, whythis moment is special and what
this current foundation that youhave going on?
Tell us what that's about.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
All right, all right.
Well, hey everybody, I amKenneth Sober Scooter, reddick
II.
The Sober Scooter came aboutthree and a half years ago,
yesterday, on 2-2-22, when Ientered my sobriety journey.
But my passion and my purposeis not just around addiction,
(02:51):
but it's also around mentalhealth, which brings about my
foundation, which is BrothersBrunch Foundation not a time to
eat but be fed mental health andself-care awareness.
So I focus on black men in thecommunity, breaking the stigma,
having us not just focus on themental challenges but focusing
on our mental health fitness, sothat when those challenges do
(03:15):
come to us which we all know, alot of black men, we have a lot
of challenges.
That could be internal, thatcould be external with our
families, or it can be in thecommunities.
So part of it is building us tobe better mentors for, first of
all, ourselves, but then forour families, and ultimately
(03:35):
being able to do more work outhere in the community to help
others and be the mentors andmen that we should be.
And one of the things I saythat's gotten me here today,
even as a guy I met about acouple of years ago and we've
stayed connected and one of thethings he told me was you got to
put your oxygen mask on first.
So I've learned to put myoxygen mask on by first of all
(03:58):
taking care of myself.
So that's where we are.
We're doing a lot in thecommunity.
We also now at my son's school,got a dad's opening doors.
So even the first day of schoolyou have dads out there opening
the doors for the kids, becauseI truly believe that you can
have other organizations come inand do different things in
(04:19):
different settings throughoutthe community.
But if you truly get the dadsinvolved as my principals for
Brothers Branch Foundation, aPCP positive, consistent and
present we can do some positivethings.
But if there's no consistency,there's no presence.
And that presence starts withself.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
So what you're doing with the community is super
amazing, thank you.
I know I've talked to you inthe past.
I know about your involvement,sacrificing a lot of your
personal time, and I know, evenwith a conversation that I had
with you, the first time we eventalked, he went right into
counselor mode because, you know, he was asking.
It was just like, how are youdoing as a person?
And I told him I was like well,not great today and he went
(04:59):
right into it.
You know just again beingtotally, totally selfless.
You know just again beingtotally, totally selfless.
But I want to go back a littlebit.
I want to go back to the story.
You know how did you becomeSuperman?
Speaker 3 (05:08):
I want to know how you got your superpowers.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
What were you addicted to?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Alcohol.
I was an alcoholic for 30 yearsand I want to just say real
quick you know it's interestingthat you mentioned my
superpowers, because I literallyyesterday was working on a
presentation about black manwhat is your superpower?
So this is right on time.
(05:33):
There you go.
You know, my addiction startedwhen I hit college, which I
believe happens with a lot ofyoung folks.
You know, we get to college, wetry different things, sometimes
it's earlier, but if we look atthe mental health challenges,
but if we look at the mentalhealth challenges, because the
(05:54):
other thing that I didn'tmention earlier is I did attempt
to unalive myself three times.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
So why did you?
What do you think we all drankin college.
So, what was it that in yourpast kind of brought you to that
point where you felt you neededto cope that way?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Well, and that was the thing I mentioned, those
three attempts because I wastouching on the mental health
challenges that were there, thatwere undiagnosed, unrecognized,
which a lot of times happen inour community, most of the time
it happens in our community.
So as a child just growing up,you know I was very privileged
(06:33):
but I was very smart.
So when I got put up inkindergarten to first grade,
even though I was smarter, I wassmaller and also that means
that my mind technically, mm,hmm.
And also that means that mymind technically, even though I
could read and do everythingvery well, my emotional mindset
was not ready.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Your EQ was much lower than your IQ.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
And so, being that little guy that didn't get
picked by the best friends orwhomever on the team, you know,
I remember, even as a child,getting upset about certain
things, running and hidingbehind the bleachers and crying
and all kinds of stuff.
I never recognized that until Igot sober I never realized that
these were things, as much as Ihad a privileged life.
(07:16):
And when I was in middle schooland somebody called me out of
my name, said, does somebodywant to dance with this
N-wordword, I never realized howthat shaped my mindset.
And so when we talk aboutadverse childhood experiences,
everything doesn't have to be sodramatic okay and so I coped
with alcohol because once I gotto college, I thought that was a
(07:37):
way to fit in.
I thought that that was a wayfor me to deal with my problems,
and that's why I was saying theattempts on the live, because
that was the first time thathappened, where there should
have been some type of arecognition or diagnosis then
but it wasn't so.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
the first time was in college.
The first time was in college.
Yes, can you tell us?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
about that a little bit.
Well, it was a situation whereI felt everybody was upset with
me.
You know, I truly realized thatand this can kind of tie into
it too of something that Ididn't realize.
My accountability partner,about a year or so ago, sent me
something about approvaladdiction.
So I was addicted to gettingeveryone's approval because I
was thinking I was still thatlittle man and so anytime I
(08:22):
would get upset or something,then I would feel as though the
world didn't like me.
And so this was one of thosetimes where it was a situation
where I did something wrong,Everybody was kind of upset with
me and I just thought that Ihad lost everybody.
My accountability partner too.
That learned me very well afterI did a presentation last.
But she said, you know, sheused to tell me that it seemed
(08:44):
like I was that child, that whenI would get upset I'd pick my
toys up and leave.
But that was that approvaladdiction, Because anytime
little Scooter would get hurt, Iwould drink more, I would do
whatever you know.
And then, like I say, therewere just several times where I
just felt that nobody cared.
You know, I didn't pleaseeverybody.
(09:05):
People pleaser, yeah, yeah.
So when people weren't pleasedwith what I did.
It would just take me intothese slumps and depths of
depression that I neveridentified them as depression.
But then it was also becauseI'm technically diagnosed
bipolar depressed.
Some of that drinking was partof that hypomania because,
especially when I went to thestrip club, spent plenty of
(09:27):
money.
You know so that hyperspending,hypersexuality are those sorts
of things that are undiagnosed,that are also addictions.
And then you know, we have to behonest, you know addiction is a
trait as well.
So we have to look at familyhistory and it may skip a
generation.
Or you know drinking stuff.
In college I didn't see my daddrink, but I learned more about
(09:48):
his drinking patterns.
We have to look at ourgrandparents and one thing I say
with that is when we, when wehave, when we have certain
things that happen with us oreven our kids, we have to
understand that we're all seedsand seeds are planted in us.
So a lot of times it's not theexternals that we have to figure
out, it's that internal seed.
(10:09):
And I literally just had aconversation with my son, my
eight year old, about this,literally exactly about drinking
and seeds that.
He looks like me, so he's goingto act like me me okay.
(10:29):
So I've learned more through mywork with my nonprofit and my
dad being my COO things that hewould share, that I realize now
that there were certain traitsabout things.
I just didn't see it because hehealed sooner than I did on my
life's journey.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Hey, you brought up mental fitness earlier.
What do you mean by that?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Well, every time we say mental health in the black
community, everybody want to saynothing wrong with me.
But the reality is it's justlike going to the gym.
If you go to the gym and you'reworking out and your homeboy
come up and grab you and be likecome on man, come on man.
You might be able to shake himoff because you've been working
out, but if you haven't beenworking out you can't shake them
(11:10):
off as quick.
It's just like your mind.
If we don't take care of ourmental health and continue to
remain mentally fit, when thesechallenges come, I tell people I
may get down, but I don't getstuck, because we all suffer
different times from differentlevels of depression or anxiety
or those sorts of things.
But some of us have tougherchallenges.
But we all have to do the workso that when situations come
grief, depression, all of thosethings we have to keep our minds
(11:35):
fit so we can shake thosethings off easier.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
That makes sense.
So when you're posting yourbrunches, is that a time where
you're really looking tostrengthen that mental fitness
as a group?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Exactly, and just so you know, everybody says because
I do the brother's brunch, it'snot too many actual brunches,
it's just called a brunchbecause it's time to get fed,
got it?
So we do have those discussionsand that's one of the things
that I'm big on is even atself-care.
So just to give you an idea ofwhat I'm talking about, I have
(12:07):
five principles for my mentalhealth fitness sleep, breathing,
meditation, exercise andactivity.
And I always joke and say youain't gonna find me in that damn
gym.
I do yoga, I go to chiropractor, physical therapy, all those
different things as maintenanceyeah and then, last but not
least, therapy, because therapyis therapeutic, not problematic.
(12:30):
We all need someone with anon-emotional connection to to
just debrief on life on aregular basis, but the reality
is we think that we don't.
I don't need no therapist, it'snot a need, it's like a life
coach.
That's what my eight-year-oldson has been proactively in
therapy because that actuallyhelps me be less stressful,
because I could help himnavigate based on what the
(12:52):
therapist might recommend,versus me projecting my traumas
on him based on what I think isbest.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
That is so profound and so well thought out.
I mean, I have theseconversations with people all
the time and I'm like damn it ifI can go back 15, 20 years and
just parent my kids better,because this is one example.
Right there I have a 10 yearold and it's interesting because
, you know, I was driving herback home yesterday to her mom
and we're on the road for aboutfive and a half hours.
We just talked.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
And most of what we talked about was just you know,
hey, how are you feeling aboutgoing to school, your new
friends, new teachers?
And she was just like I'm alittle nervous, I'm a little
anxious.
No-transcript.
(13:48):
And they do a much better jobthan we give them credit for at
that young age.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
They do If you allow them to.
Yeah, and allow them to.
We want them to be quiet and wewant them to listen.
Yeah, know what's best for ourchild?
No, we don't.
That's why I have a therapist,because if I think I know to
make a decision, I will ask thetherapist hey, do you think that
his best for his age group?
Do you think that his this isbest for his development so far?
(14:15):
And see, that's mental healthfitness.
Already with my son, when Italk about with the brothers,
like three years in a row I'vedone a black man's holiday
relaxation with salt cave,oxygen Bar and those sorts of
things.
But two weeks ago my son say,hey, daddy, we haven't been to
the Oxygen Bar and the Salt CaveMental health fitness already
(14:36):
there.
You know, at night, daddy, I'mgoing to turn on the music,
meditation music at night.
You know.
Those are the things that, as Isay, and when I, when I work
with the dads and the kidsbecause we did a dads and kids
vision board party as well whatI say is we're bridging the
generational gap of mentalhealth awareness because, just
like stefan just said aboutlistening to his daughter, we
(14:59):
did a black men's wellnessretreat age 59 to 21, and one of
the young men said at theretreat you all put a new
meaning on Ankh because you'relistening.
How many times, if you thinkabout us, did we feel as though
no one was listening?
That's that mental healthfitness, because, even working
with my child, that heals mefrom certain frustrations,
(15:24):
certain traumas or certainthoughts that I may have had,
because I'm learning that youknow what.
Hey, he's right, that's okay Ifeel like that.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
There's definitely a huge difference between the
different generations.
I'm assuming we're all aboutthe same age come on.
I'll say it slow because youguys old, you might not be able
to follow um, but like ourgrandparents, you think about
like, from that generation toour parents' generation to our
generation, just how we talk tokids, how they disciplined us
(15:53):
Like I mean I'm sure we all gotthe belt growing up, right, but
I mean like now, like kids, likeI'm not taking off my belt.
You know like it's moreconversations like taking off my
belt.
You know like it's moreconversations like, right, it's
mental health.
There's a lot more awarenessaround it.
Our generation now and theyounger generation, we're more
quick to have conversations andfigure out like what's going on,
because you just and I don'tknow if it's the awareness like
(16:14):
all the bad stuff that we see,maybe it's always been there but
you don't hear about it becausesocial media is a big thing now
yeah so it's like no one wantstheir kid to be that kid, that
kid that's on the news forsomething crazy because, then
that's reflected on you as well.
So the age groups that you workwith, right, I know that you do
the kids and you do adultsseparately.
Do you do them at the same time?
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Well, and and you know that's always interesting
because I really don't work withkids directly Most of the time
most of the time is with thedads.
Okay, because, just what yousaid, we have to bridge that gap
.
Yeah, and I could work with thekids, but when they go home, if
there's no consistency, thenwhat happens?
And I think that that's what werun into, because you mentioned
(16:56):
about how we've been parentedeverybody's not healed from that
parenting and they're justprojecting that on their kids.
So when I do work with theyouth, and mainly that's at the
school, unless it's somebody inhigh school that somebody
reaches out to me for.
But I'm mainly now certified asa peer specialist for mental
(17:27):
health in general, but alsoparents.
So even when people ask me aboutworking with their child, I
have to take a step back and say, okay, well, we're going to
have to have some conversationstoo, because I need you to
understand that the parentingthat may have been taking place
may not be because take, forinstance, you work with a child,
then they do something a weeklater.
(17:49):
Then it's like they eitherthrowing you up as in well, you
know, mr reddick told you suchand such.
Why are you doing then?
That breaks a.
That breaks a trust boundarythere, that the child looks at
me as not a part of their teambut the parents.
But but then also I need theparent to understand that just
because I talk to your childonce or twice, that doesn't mean
(18:11):
that your child is going to beup and ready and going.
I call it a holistic approachwith a W because there's so much
money and different things thatare even put into programs for
our youth, but there may be an Nof one or two that are kind of
like the poster kids, becausethe parents aren't necessarily
involved.
So the way that we trulyincrease the end for mental
(18:34):
health awareness, mental healthfitness and decrease in mental
health challenges is a holisticapproach and that's where I
focus on.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
And when you're putting together your approaches
, do you ever have to makeadjustments for the range of
people that show up?
Because if you havemulti-generation people there,
like we were talking aboutearlier, you may not be able to
talk to a 60-year-old the sameway you could talk to a
22-year-old right.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
The thing about it is , like I say, because I don't
really have to worry about thekids most of the time time.
You know that's usuallyspecific.
You'd be surprised at theconversations when I have people
that are in the room or on acall of 19 to 79.
But the great thing about it isthe elders love to hear the
younger people and to understand.
(19:16):
But it's the environment thathas been set by Brothers Brunch
Foundation and not that it's forthe younger people to come in
to just get fed by the older,because we learn so much from
the young men but we had tolearn to listen.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yeah, I found that's true.
Even recently I've hadconversations, like I said, with
my own kids, with my son, did apodcast recently here where
myself and my son talked toanother father and his son and
then we heard what they had tosay in terms of what we did
right, what we did wrong, whatwe could have done better, what
they are taking from us to theirfamilies when they have
children of their own, and itwas eye-opening.
(19:51):
Man, it's kind of tough to belike you look at your son and go
, hey, is anything that I didthat you're going to carry with
you?
What are you going to reject?
Speaker 4 (20:02):
And for your son to be super honest and be like well
, I'm not doing that shit, youknow.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
And you're like damn yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I wouldn't do it either right now, Right Back
then I did, but I wouldn't do itnow.
So there's a big difference.
And even to your point too,Jabari, when you said earlier,
like the way we parent now youhad your kids later.
I was a different father at 26.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
I was ready with the belt, you know?
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Yeah, and that's why that's why, when my kids look at
my grown kids now, who look atmy 10 year old, they go she gets
away with murder.
Or they'll see me sit there andtalk to her and reason with her
and they go like are youkidding me?
That's not what you did with me.
Whoop her ass.
I'm like no no, it's different,I'm like no, it's a different
(20:44):
day.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
I would have done the same thing if I had known
better.
You know, and she's not worseoff for it.
She's better off for it.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Yeah, but you were a kid parenting kids exactly you
don't know this when you're inyour 20s you swear, you're grown
, you know, you don't and Igotta say, you know, I think
that women in their 20s are morelike us in our late 30s 100
right.
So it's like, like you said,living for others.
Seeking that approval and I'mchildren and I think I know what
I'm doing, Right?
Yeah, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah, and you know what, and one of the things that
you just mentioned about is thecheck, because I have one
that's 25 as well.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
So you know I mean having one later.
I stopped drinking when my sonwell, I had my last binge the
day after my son's fifthbirthday my son's fifth birthday
.
So it's one of those things toothat, through healing and
that's what I want to say to you, steph, is there's probably
some healing that's taken placeas well that has allowed your
mind to be more refreshed whenmaking decisions.
(21:35):
I tell people you can't cuss,fuss or beat you out your child.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
I love that line.
That's a good one, and then youtrademarked that.
Yet hey, I haven't, I haven'tyou need to, but I'm going to
say officially here on the manwho Matters podcast that is
Cooter's line yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
And the thing about it is when those we're going to
go old school, when thosewhoopings do take place, is that
truly frustration with them orfrustration with self?
Because if we are in a bettermindset and able to be refreshed
already in our mind when thatchild has something, that
(22:14):
happens, it frees us up to beable to talk to them rather than
react out of frustration tothem.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
So what about the argument that his badass just
needed a whooping because?
Speaker 4 (22:24):
he did X, y and Z.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Is there any validity to that whatsoever or do you
think that, at no point in timeshould that be is your
philosophy?
We should never put hands onthem, no matter what happens,
because it's a reflection of howwe see ourselves within that
kid Exactly.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
I have not put hands on my son.
A matter of fact, I can't evenremember my daughter putting
hands on her, Not to say that Ihadn't.
I just can't remember right now.
But I can even tell now how Ireact to him.
Now, if he's doing something, Ineed to grab him or something.
I have to do that personalcheck too, to say, OK, do I
(23:01):
really need to do this or do Ireally need to do that?
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
But it goes back to and I keep defaulting back to
this mental health fitness.
If we're involved, if we'represent, if we truly understand
our child, then maybe we won'thave those frustrations because
we're already identifying thingsthat we might need to help
navigate.
And, like you said, steph, alot of times that is us seeing
(23:25):
us.
And that goes back to what Isaid.
We can't take that frustrationout on them.
We have to make sure that theyhave the tools, you know,
because we think that since werun into practice, since we do
this or that or whatever, thatwe're there for them.
I put a roof over your head, Iput food on your table.
That's great, that's what we'resupposed to do.
(23:47):
But do we go in and sit downand play the game to see what
they're playing?
Do we ask them when certainthings happen, where did you get
it from to understand, to maybehelp them navigate through the
situation better?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
well, you know you have a lot of parents that are
absolutely trying and tryingright.
Think about the mom and dad,and I don't even want to go into
a single parent household I'mjust thinking the mom and dad
are both working yeah they'recoming home, they're they're
gone for 12 hours, you know,work for eight and a half, nine
hours, right, and then there'scommute.
They get home and they're doingall of these things.
(24:19):
They're doing homework andthey're trying to pour into that
kid.
You see the challenge.
I guess what I'm getting at isit's easier said than done.
They are doing all of thosethings and they are pouring into
their kids the best they knowhow, but there's only so many
hours in a day for you to figureout how to also be some type of
mental health coach to your kidor be more therapeutic, where
it's a lot easier to justcorrect and reprimand rather
(24:41):
than spending an hour in acoaching session with them.
Am I making sense?
I see where it could be achallenge.
Okay, and what do you recommendfor that?
Because that's reality for mostpeople?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
I think Well, first of all, are you taking care of
yourself to make sure that youare fit enough to give the
energy that is needed?
And we have to be intentionalabout taking care of ourselves.
We have to be intentional onusing the resources for our kids
.
When we talk about time, we cantalk about money.
Let's look at what else we'redoing with our time.
(25:11):
Do you not have that hourbecause you got to catch your
show?
Do you have that hour becauseyou're ready to have that drink
before you go to bed or gooutside and have your smoke?
Do you not have the resourcesto pay for their therapy
sessions or something that mightbe needed?
Well, it's covered underinsurance, but you don't want to
pay the co-pay because you'regoing on a vacation.
(25:32):
Uh, you got to go out with thefellas or you got to have this
drink.
I think that challengessometimes are made up by our own
actions Sometimes.
Sometimes.
To be fair To be fair.
Yeah, you know, but it goesback to that old saying we make
time for what we want.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Like even for myself, insurance wise, like I told you
about physical therapy andchiropractic and all that stuff,
that's a doctor's appointmentbut it's truly self-care.
That therapy appointment it's adoctor's appointment but it's
truly self-care.
That therapy appointment is adoctor's appointment, but it's
truly self-care.
So I say it's a challenge whenyou haven't utilized the
resources that are at hand forus and our families to be well.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
And what you're speaking on right now is just
having your regular medicalbenefits and using those to the
fullest.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Yes, because see, we use health insurance like car
insurance.
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (26:26):
If something go wrong , you pay it every month, I see,
and if something go wrong withyour car then you go and check
it out.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Then you go and check it out.
Health insurance are benefitsto benefit us and our family
Benefits get us ahead.
So when we talk aboutchallenges, we got a lot of
benefits to help us preventcertain challenges in life that
we don't utilize.
So that's why I say, yeah, some.
Some may have some true, truechallenges, but this challenge
(26:55):
might be the challenge that youdidn't use the resources for
everybody to be well.
Yeah, so that's why I try toremove some of the things to be
well.
So that's why I try to removesome of the things and I always
speak from a peer as of what hasworked for me and how I'm
better, and I know differentpeople do have different
challenges, but at the end ofthe day, if we don't utilize our
(27:15):
resources, everything can be achallenge.
Yeah, Scooter.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
I want to take it back a little bit to the making
of the superhero.
I want to go back to that and Iknow it could be challenging.
And if it is, just let me know.
You talked about three attempts.
You talked about the first onein college.
What led to the other two?
How did you survive the othertwo?
What got you out of that rutthat you were in and what got
you through the time period fromthe last attempt all the way to
(27:40):
three and a half years ago towhen you became sober?
Speaker 1 (27:44):
The sense of hopelessness.
I talked about the approvaladdiction, the sense of
addiction.
Alcohol is a depressant.
A lot of people don't realizethat it actually impacts the
neurotransmitters of your brain.
Okay, so you're never able to.
As an alcoholic for 30 years,my mood was never regulated, and
so every time you would drinkand I tell people when you drink
(28:07):
, it's not just that your bodyis dehydrated, you've put your
body in a state of depression,and that's what I never was able
to push through yeah wascontinually putting my body in a
state where my mind, my mood,was never regulated.
I could easily slip intodepression.
I mean, I used to go down forlike a week at sometimes, and
(28:29):
depending on what it was thathad triggered me fear of being
in trouble because of alcoholand a situation I might've
gotten in, and I just thought Iwouldn't get out of it.
And it was the only way.
As my dad said one time, everytime I drank I didn't get in
trouble, but every time I got introuble I was drinking.
So every time I tried tounalive myself, I was under the
(28:52):
influence.
I was in a situation where Ijust felt nobody cared and I
just didn't want to be here.
And so three and a half yearsago, when I went on my last
binge and I ended up at theinpatient unit, my dad had
always told me son, pray thatthe taste be removed from your
tongue.
So mine was that true spiritualawakening that a power greater
(29:16):
than myself restored me tosanity.
Now I'm not an AA-er.
I haven't been in about 15years.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
I was going to say so .
What happened three and a halfyears ago?
Is that what you're about to gointo?
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, so I went out on my last binge for three days,
ended up going to see an oldfriend after I came off the
binge.
I don't know why God, but Iknow why.
But God led me there.
You know I was sitting next toa homeless guy at my old liquor
store, you know, drinking,getting cussed out.
And then I just went by the oldapartment and then I got a call
(29:49):
from my psychiatrist that Ididn't realize I was supposed to
have an appointment that day.
I'm thinking somebody had beencalled her, tracked her down and
she said what's going on?
I said I've been out on thebench for the past three days.
I said I think I need some help.
She said and so we called mydaughter on the phone on
three-way, and my daughter cameand took me to the detox center
(30:13):
inpatient.
And one of the things too wasthat first day that I woke up
there and I saw the doctor, myblood pressure was 163 over 103.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
Is that good or bad?
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Man, that sounds horrible.
That stroke People in therelike man, how you even walk
around with this oh wow Peoplein there, like man, how you even
walk around with this.
You know, and I truly believethat my journey and my testimony
at that point I needed to seewhat the inside was like so that
I can be able to relate topeople, like now when I go and I
speak at the inpatient unitsevery Tuesday.
(30:45):
That's what God had destinedfor me, for that to be the end
of my journey, and that date was2-2-22.
The four twos represent thesign of the angels peace and
adversity change in your life.
So a lot of times it's kind oftough for me to explain exactly
what or how I got through,because God brought me through
(31:09):
at that particular date.
But I realized that I had to bepresent for myself.
I never did that.
I was always trying to savepeople, always trying to please
people.
So what really got me to thepoint to make that difference
was number one I stoppeddrinking.
I started to learn who Scooterwas.
I was very successful.
I was a 25-year pharmaceuticalrep, executive sales rep,
(31:31):
platinum performer, as a blackman built two brand new houses
in his lifetime.
But I wasn't happy.
I didn't know that becauseeverybody loves Scooter,
everybody wanted Scooter to behere, there, but it was almost
like I was being a monkey ineverybody's circus and I never
even said that before.
But as I think more about it,that's pretty much how it was,
because now I don't go out, Idon't do things like I used to,
(31:53):
because I'm happy and I'mpleased with me and I'm at peace
with myself because I found mytrue purpose.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Were you spiritual prior to that moment, three
years ago?
Speaker 1 (32:03):
I'm more spiritual now.
Right, I was more religiousthen.
Okay, I mean, I grew up in thechurch.
Now I may sit and look at threedifferent services and receive
what I need to for my spirit,right.
So I didn't worry aboutspending the time now, even
though I am a member of a church.
(32:24):
But it's not like I feel asthough I got to find the right
church because I am morespiritual now.
Do I love to go in forfellowship?
Yeah, like I said, I went today.
Yeah, but I watched twoservices before that.
So that's why I say it's adifference between spirituality
and religion, because religioncan be a divide which brings
(32:46):
about a whole nother mentallevel of stress.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Yeah, that's a whole other podcast, yeah I was asking
because you have people that,when they're at that point where
they need to make that leap,right from you know addiction to
sobriety.
Sometimes they need that extrayeah thing, that thing that you
can place your finger on.
It's the divine, it's somethingelse, and I guess I'm asking if
(33:11):
they don't have that, what doyou recommend?
Because not everybody is fromthat place.
Some people are atheists andthey're struggling with that,
and it's all good people.
You mentioned that you felt acalling pull you through, you
know.
So how does someone else whodoesn't have that cope in that
situation?
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Well, you know, it's always a tough question because
everybody's healing journey isdifferent, and that's one thing
is, you know, if you talk to aclinician, they might give you
advice.
If you talk to a peer, I'm moreof a person that helps navigate
through my lived experiences.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
And so what I'd say to that is we've been programmed
anyway mind, body, spirit.
In that hierarchy, the spiritis last.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Well, that's upside down.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Thank you, that's what I was going to say.
It should be spirit, mind, body.
Speaker 4 (34:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
I know I was doing.
I think on the previous podcastwe were on, we had somebody
even say well, why is the spiritand mind separate?
Because I mentioned this before.
But you know, once we get outour minds and stop trying to
figure everything out, then thatlowers the stress level some
and therefore it I don't havethat impulse to drink.
So I would say that for anyone,and I don't.
(34:22):
I don't get into debating whoyour higher power is when it
comes to addiction and sobrietyright just as long as you're
listening to the spirit and notthe spirits, then I think that
there can be some forwardprogress.
Yeah, but we have to trulyremove those things that are
(34:42):
hindering us from having a clearmind so that we can truly
listen to the spirit.
Now, what I do recommend topeople is to, because number one
is that sleep most.
Most of the times when you'regoing through these things, the
main thing you say I'm justtired, I'm just tired and we
really are tired.
So once we start to sleep andget that rest, that's one angle.
(35:04):
But then also, when I talkedabout that meditation, you know
what are we doing to soothe ourminds, to not be as stressed, so
that we don't drink, so that wedon't use drugs, so that we
don't go to porn.
I mean, that's a whole another.
That could be a whole anotherconversation.
But we're talking aboutaddiction and how do we move
past addiction?
Right, and then it's alwaysbeing around those people that
(35:27):
have made it through.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
And be careful of who you speak with, because those
that haven't gone through itprobably don't have the answers
sure would it be safe to say, Iguess, to kind of answer your
question if they don't have thatuh spirit or being that's
greater than themselves to findeither a loved one?
Speaker 1 (35:43):
yeah, this conversation right here is power
greater than ourselves.
Yeah, it could be a peer groupaccountability.
Accountability.
Yeah, I mean it, could you know?
Hey, whatever, two or more jointogether.
I mean, it doesn't just justfind something that is greater
than you trying to go through itby yourself.
Correct, that is going to feedyour mind appropriately.
(36:06):
So one big thing for me is peergroups as a higher power.
So, if you want to add directlya suggestion, I'm in two to
three peer groups a week, nomatter if I'm leading them or
not.
Mental health recovery orwhatever.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
That goes back to the maintenance and fitness.
What I'd work with folks on ismaking sure that we're putting
the right tools and the rightagendas and just making sure
that we're consistent.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
Are you typically seeking out people or people
finding you?
How does one get into thefoundation?
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Well, I mean, some people get referred but, like I
said, it's not too many peoplethat I don't meet.
Sometimes I meet people two orthree times and they say,
remember I met you at?
I say look, I just don't want abrother to be left.
I'm a boots on the groundstreet ministry.
I'd rather be going out tobarbershops than to be planning
an event, because the reality ishow many people actually come
(36:59):
to events?
A lot of times, yeah, you getthe people that are there doing
the event, you get the peoplethat are supporting the people
at the event, but the peoplethat I want to seek are in the
barhops, maybe even in church,at the gas station.
So I'm always seeking peoplebecause I never know I mean,
I've got homeless guys off thestreets to go to recovery, at
(37:21):
least assist them with something.
We are truly a street ministry.
Thanks, that's really powerful.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
Do you have a limited amount of spots?
Do you ever fill up or is itsomething that, where you can,
you can handle as many people asneed help?
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Well, and then the thing about it is that when we
talk about the kickstart, ofcourse it takes funding, because
we've actually paid for men todo therapy, recovery sessions.
Just if people, if they say,hey, school, I'm just going
through something, I might say,hey, just meet me at the spa,
let's get some oxygen, let's getsome oxygen, let's get some
salt k.
So a lot of that work dependson the funding.
But I do work with otherorganizations, like black man
(37:55):
hill, where, if I need to linkthem up there or something so,
but as of events, um, I'm notone that tries to fill the
auditorium.
I'm big on the intimacy becauseI don't like to leave where
somebody's feelings, thoughtheir question was an answer.
The most I've had, probably, atany event, is maybe 40, but
(38:17):
that was a mixed crowd.
But most of my men I try tokeep them maybe around 30 at the
most, just because I want tomake sure that we're able to sit
and talk together.
In the three years I've beendoing this two years of official
non-profit I haven't had aspeaker.
Everything is aboutconversations.
People say, hey, you want to, Icould come in and do a pre-test
(38:39):
.
I say you come in and be a partof the conversation.
If you look at my business card, it says I'm a motivational
conversationalist.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
Yeah, yeah, because I don't have the answers for you.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
That's why I don't use the word help I I don't.
I don't have the answers foryou.
That's why I don't use the wordhelp.
I don't help men, I supportthem, you know, because I don't
have the answers.
You know the answer lies withinyou most of the time.
So once we get in thoseconversations, I want to make
sure that anybody can speak.
So is there a limit?
No, but am I worried about howmany people show up?
I've had one person show up twodifferent times and it was one
(39:13):
of the most impactful.
One of the times we did get aman off the street that night.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Oftentimes, when we hear about addiction and someone
goes sober, there's a relapse.
What has helped you to keep youon the straight and narrow, so
you never relapsed?
Speaker 1 (39:30):
It's funny.
Something just came to my headas I like what I see in this new
world, because I always saycoming into sobriety.
It's like dorothy and toto.
We're not even canvassing nomore but I've truly appreciated
this peace that I have now.
I literally said yesterday I'mlike I was talking to shoot.
That might be when you calledme yesterday and I was like man,
(39:51):
I said't never made it to threeand a half years before I said
it's his feeling, you know, Imean it feels good and now that
I can truly see my purpose ahead.
But just take a glimpse at mypast and not be stuck there.
It gives me just enough glimpseto know, Scooter, you don't
want to go back there, you.
It gives me just enough glimpseto know, Scooter, you don't
(40:12):
want to go back there.
You feeling too good.
Now Scooter Trey is seeing you.
Scooter Trey says my daddy'sthree years alcoholic free, my
daddy stopped drinking when Iwas five.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Yeah, Sorry brother.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
No, don't be sorry, man, this is what we have to do.
Man, it's all right, this iswhat we have to do.
My son can save.
My daddy stopped drinking whenI was five years old.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Yeah, it's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
I don't want to.
I took my oldest through enoughthat now we can sit down on
Tuesdays and she just takes meearly.
Are we still on for Tuesday?
I can meet her for lunch and wetalk about me and her yeah,
Things that haven't.
I was there but I wasn'tpresent yeah I don't want to
(40:53):
lose that presence.
I don't want to lose thatpresence to myself, I don't want
to lose that presence to myfamily.
But I had to surrender.
Like I said, we were justtalking about christian religion
.
You know I don't want to saygod, but I always say when
people say school, are you doingthis?
I say god did because Irealized that this thing is
greater than me and when we findour purpose, we find our peace.
And I stopped chasingeverything else in the world.
(41:15):
You know that external wouldkill us man, and I did it for a
long time, trying to get to acertain status, trying to do
certain things, but now I don'thave all that anymore, but I'm
at peace.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
So, someone going through what you went through
all these years, I think whatI'm hearing you say is the way
they find their strength and theway they find a way to stay on
the path is to look at whatthey're becoming and their
purpose and who they are in thatmoment and not be stuck and be
triggered by things of the past.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Yeah, and just like you mentioned that triggering,
triggering is lessened whenhealing is increased.
Say that again Triggering islessened when healing is
increased.
We become triggered becausethere's something inside that's
still there that causes us toreact that way.
So that's another part of howI'm able to stay where I am,
(42:12):
because I realize that healingis not a destination.
Healing is a continuous journeyof life and I have to continue
to do the work so that I cancontinue on this healing journey
, so I won't be triggered, so Iwon't drink.
So that triggering is veryimportant because most of the
time is when we trigger it, itgives us those setbacks that
ends us back up in the trap oflife.
(42:34):
It's in us, okay.
So the work has to be donewithin.
You can't fix that, you can'tdo this.
You got to have that healingthat comes within.
That's what's going to cause alot of pain to at least be
lessened.
You know, and you say I'mcareful with the words.
I didn't say diminished, Idon't say stop, I say lesson,
(42:55):
because there's still going tobe things that may be there yeah
but, like I said, it's themagnitude.
So let's magnify the healing andstop magnifying the issues.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
Right, you mentioned a few times already everybody
else is welcome, but you focuson black men now what when we
talk about the challenges thatblack men face as far as mental
health?
How is that different thananyone else?
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Well, the seeds that we have in us, the seeds that go
back to slavery, that areunhealed, that have been birthed
and birthed and birthed andbirthed for generations, yeah,
we like the caged eggs in thegrocery store okay everybody
want the uncaged eggs becauseyou don't have the stress and
(43:39):
hormones of being in that cage.
we, the caged eggs, we got thosestresses and hormones that just
keep being birthed and passedalong.
Yeah, so until we heal andthat's why I have my son
proactively in therapy, yeah,and, like I told him, I don't
want you to have certain thingsthat daddy may not have done
(44:00):
right, that are birthed into you.
It's five to six generations ofunhealed birth trauma.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
At least At least.
Yeah, that's what we face andthat's the thing At least, at
least yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Plus what we face.
And that's the thing.
And when you think about theexternals that we have to deal
with, we can't deal with theexternals that's going on until
we get some healing on theinside.
We just talked about thattriggering, right?
So we keep getting triggered asblack men because we have the
seed that's in us.
We're faced on what's going onwith the externals, so when we
(44:31):
react to it based on theunhealing, then we end up in
those situations.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
what do you have to say to the black women who,
listening to this right now, arethinking well, obviously we
need healing too, but what I'mwhat I'm thinking is they're
hearing some of what we'rethinking and how to cope with
the black men in their lives, ifthat makes sense.
So what do you have to say?
To them for the black men intheir lives, if that makes sense
.
So what do you have to say tothem?
Speaker 1 (44:52):
For the black women even to deal with a black man.
Let's make sure that we are allhealing, because there's so
much projection on the black manand what they're doing.
But I believe that it's aculture that needs to heal, but
I believe that it's a culturethat needs to heal.
So a black woman can't evenassist a black man in healing,
(45:14):
or even giving grace orunderstanding, if they haven't
given themselves grace and donetheir own healing Right, because
they have their own set ofissues Exactly.
(45:35):
So you know, that's kind of adifficult question because it
depends on where they are in thejourney, where the black woman
is in their journey, because ablack man could be on a healing
journey, but then the blackwoman doesn't want to give grace
because she's still hurting.
Yeah, and I think that's whatwe face too.
There's a certain time whenblack men being black men and
going through and start ahealing process, and then the
woman may not want to give gracebecause they haven't healed.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
But if you are healed , or healing or healing yeah,
because I did say we're notjourney, yeah, yeah thank you,
thank you, thank you forcorrecting me on that.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Well, that's swift right now.
I like that, you know.
So I mean, if, if, if you arehealing with grace of
understanding what you have hadto go through along your journey
to get where you are, give thatman that same level of grace.
But also and this question cameup about even the approaching
(46:25):
people and saying certain things.
Saying certain things, let'smake sure that we're not only
prepared to assist them alongtheir journey, but be prepared
to receive whatever response youmay get along that journey as
well, because when we help,we're looking for an answer or a
solution for them, but when wesupport them, for them, but when
(46:54):
we support them, we're trulytrying to understand how they
are feeling and what may be thebest situation for them also,
you need to be prepared towelcome who they are becoming.
There's going to be sometransformation yeah, I mean, and
that's, and honestly, thatcomes in relationships in
general and I can speak verycandidly about that because a
lot of people when I say I docertain things, sometimes
(47:14):
they're responding or theirfeelings are about scooter not
sober scooter OK, and that'swhere I have to coach a lot of
people too in understanding thateverybody is not on the same
healing journey.
And sometimes even on ourhealing journeys, through things
that may have happened, wemight have peeled a scar off, a
(47:36):
wound to somebody and throughthat part we have to understand
that.
And this goes for the black mentoo that are healing, because
we were talking about it, blackwomen understanding.
But we have to understand thatwhen we start healing,
everybody's not going tounderstand where you are on your
healing and that could be verytriggering too.
So the black man has tounderstand that she may not be
(47:59):
where I am and I can't let thathold me back from my progress
because I have to put my oxygenmask on first yeah but the woman
or whoever is dealing with thatperson in that relationship,
has to understand that I'mseeing a brand new person evolve
scooter, sober, scooter.
(48:20):
I am a brand new person.
I've totally been reinvented,yeah, and everybody has to
understand and some, as oneperson told me, everybody has to
understand that when it comesto that fork in the road with
somebody's making that change,everybody can't go.
That could be a spouse, thatcould be a child, that could be
a community, it could be anyone.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
But that's a part of that healing journey and you
have to not just give the gracein the wrong, but you got to
give that grace in the progress.
Nice.
Speaker 3 (48:53):
You mentioned earlier that your foundation is a
nonprofit right.
So anyone listening, if theywanted to donate, that'd be a
tax write-off, correct?
Speaker 1 (49:01):
Oh, yes, it would be, it would be.
Speaker 3 (49:03):
Let's throw that out there.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Hey, a matter of fact , on my soberversary yesterday,
I said, hey, it's 42 months.
If anybody wants to donate, $42, it was 1,227 days.
I said, if anybody wants to,hey, you know, hey, be
definitely.
You know, hey, appreciative andgrateful, they can do that, you
know.
So, yes, it is a nonprofit andso we do operate on, you know,
(49:29):
grants, donors, sponsors youknow we're always looking for.
You know, monthly donors, as wehave.
You know, men that need therapy.
You know men that may needself-care at different times, me
also being a mental health peercoach, I also do individual
coaching sessions with some ofthem.
Speaker 3 (49:47):
So and how would they reach out to you, to or the
foundation to make sure that youreceived?
Speaker 1 (49:52):
First of all, we are on Givelify.
That's our main, but a lot ofpeople don't know about Givelify
, but the link is on my website.
But Givelify is a nonprofitdonation site where if there's a
nonprofit that you'reinterested that is registered.
You just go in a lot ofchurches on it different
nonprofits.
But on the websitewwwbrothersbrunchfoundationcom,
(50:16):
you just go to the website,click on the link to donate and
it would be graciouslyappreciated.
Yes, where else can we find youBrothers Brunch Foundation Inc.
On Instagram as well asFacebook.
We are on YouTube building upthat site as well and, like I
said, the website, instagram,facebook.
Hey, you can find me If youneed to look up Sober Scooter.
(50:39):
Sober Scooter pops up too.
Speaker 3 (50:41):
Hey kids, like and subscribe Yep.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Hey.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Any final words from you, brother?
Speaker 1 (50:46):
I just want to say, first of all, thank you all for
having me here.
I'm truly grateful.
I'm always willing to share mytestimony, because I never know
who's listening and it mighthelp.
This can be done.
Addiction can be overcome,mental health challenges can be
lessened.
But don't forget, you got totake care of yourself first.
Self-care is not selfish,sobriety is not selfish, and
(51:10):
always remember to put youroxygen mask on first.
That's what's up, man.
Speaker 3 (51:14):
I want to say thank you for sharing.
I can tell a big part of yourmessage was to take care of
yourself first, but obviouslywhen you're talking about your
son and your children, I couldtell that that's another big
reason why you did what you didor had to do yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
I mean that is my family's, my wife.
You know I can that and that's,and that's what keeps me going.
A lot of reels.
I do this song Keep going, keepgoing.
And that's all I think about isjust hey, keep going, because
there's many times when I didn'twant to keep going.
So, yeah, I talk about myself,because if I don't take care of
myself, I can't take care ofthem.
Speaker 2 (51:46):
Yeah, all yeah, all right, traditionally when we end
the show.
You know this, you've heard theshow and I flipped the coin
earlier when you weren't here,and you lost Scooter.
Speaker 1 (51:57):
See, that's how that went, of course.
Speaker 4 (52:00):
Went no coin.
Speaker 2 (52:03):
So I got the outro notes.
You just got to read the outronotes and do an impression of
whoever you want.
Who are you going to be Scooter?
Speaker 1 (52:12):
I guess I'm going to go ahead and do the Bill Cosby
All right.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
Cosby show All right, you ready, yeah, we ready.
Speaker 4 (52:20):
Please support us by following the show.
Leave us a five-star review onApple Podcasts.
Thank you so much for listening.
Star review on Apple Podcast.
Thank you so much for listening.
We'll catch you next week whenwe share conversations
(52:40):
surrounding real issues we dealwith every day manhood matters.
Don't forget your pudding pops.
We're out.
There you go.
Speaker 3 (52:51):
That was good, you had it, though, with the pudding
pop.
You had it though, with thepudding pop.
Speaker 2 (53:15):
A quick message, as always.
The reason we do this show isfor educational and
entertainment purposes only.
We are not therapists and wedon't claim to be.
If you are struggling withanything, especially given the
nature of this particularepisode, the nature of this
particular episode, please reachout to a licensed therapist,
doctor or any other organizationthat is qualified to help you
(53:40):
deal with your issues.
But we do send you our love andour strength.
Talk to you guys next week.
So every time I tried to unalive myself, I was under
the influence.
I was in a situation where Ijust felt nobody cared and I
just didn't want to be here.
Alcohol is a depressant.
A lot of people don't realizethat it actually impacts the
neurotransmitters of your brain.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
So you're never able to as an alcoholic for 30 years,
and so every time you woulddrink.
And I tell people, when youdrink, it's not just that your
body is dehydrated, You've putyour body in a state of
depression.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Kenneth Reddick Jr, better known as Sober Scooter
these days.
He is now three and a halfyears sober, which is an
incredible feat considering whathe's gone through.
He has survived several suicideattempts and is entirely driven
by his mission to serve andhelp others.
I am joined with my brother,jabari Pride, and I will ask
(00:54):
that if you know anyone who isstruggling with any kind of
addiction, be it alcohol, drugs,sin in this episode, share it
with them.
Out to the brothers brunchfoundation.
What I love about scooter he isa very humble person and his
approach is I've been where youare and I can tell you my story
(01:15):
and we can rely on my pain as abeacon to guide you out of your
tunnel in your darkness.
Welcome to manhood.
Let's get to it.
Entrepreneurs climb real tallechoes of fine time, expressions
(01:44):
, friends, powerful blend,tackling issues that never end.
From our perspective, we areback in the building.
What's going on, fellas?
What's good?
What's good?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Jabari.
Hello sir, returning champ.
What's up, bro?
Man, it feels so good to beback.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yeah, it's been too long.
Every once in a while, yougrace us with your presence.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
I appreciate it, bro.
I mean, I can't come all thetime, then it just wouldn't mean
anything.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yeah, well, that sounded weird.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
All right.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Scooter's been on the show before at the barbershop
special that we did, yes, butnow he's in the studio with us.
Because I really want to focuson your story, brother, so why
don't we start with youintroducing yourself and tell us
about where you are today, whythis moment is special and what
this current foundation that youhave going on?
Tell us what that's about.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
All right, all right.
Well, hey everybody, I amKenneth Sober Scooter, reddick
II.
The Sober Scooter came aboutthree and a half years ago,
yesterday, on 2-2-22, when Ientered my sobriety journey.
But my passion and my purposeis not just around addiction,
(02:51):
but it's also around mentalhealth, which brings about my
foundation, which is BrothersBrunch Foundation not a time to
eat but be fed mental health andself-care awareness.
So I focus on black men in thecommunity, breaking the stigma,
having us not just focus on themental challenges but focusing
on our mental health fitness, sothat when those challenges do
(03:15):
come to us which we all know, alot of black men, we have a lot
of challenges.
That could be internal, thatcould be external with our
families, or it can be in thecommunities.
So part of it is building us tobe better mentors for, first of
all, ourselves, but then forour families, and ultimately
(03:35):
being able to do more work outhere in the community to help
others and be the mentors andmen that we should be.
And one of the things I saythat's gotten me here today,
even as a guy I met about acouple of years ago and we've
stayed connected and one of thethings he told me was you got to
put your oxygen mask on first.
So I've learned to put myoxygen mask on by first of all
(03:58):
taking care of myself.
So that's where we are.
We're doing a lot in thecommunity.
We also now at my son's school,got a dad's opening doors.
So even the first day of schoolyou have dads out there opening
the doors for the kids, becauseI truly believe that you can
have other organizations come inand do different things in
(04:19):
different settings throughoutthe community.
But if you truly get the dadsinvolved as my principals for
Brothers Branch Foundation, aPCP positive, consistent and
present we can do some positivethings.
But if there's no consistency,there's no presence.
And that presence starts withself.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
So what you're doing with the community is super
amazing, thank you.
I know I've talked to you inthe past.
I know about your involvement,sacrificing a lot of your
personal time, and I know, evenwith a conversation that I had
with you, the first time we eventalked, he went right into
counselor mode because, you know, he was asking.
It was just like, how are youdoing as a person?
And I told him I was like well,not great today and he went
(04:59):
right into it.
You know just again beingtotally, totally selfless.
You know just again beingtotally, totally selfless.
But I want to go back a littlebit.
I want to go back to the story.
You know how did you becomeSuperman?
Speaker 3 (05:08):
I want to know how you got your superpowers.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
What were you addicted to?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
Alcohol.
I was an alcoholic for 30 yearsand I want to just say real
quick you know it's interestingthat you mentioned my
superpowers, because I literallyyesterday was working on a
presentation about black manwhat is your superpower?
So this is right on time.
(05:33):
There you go.
You know, my addiction startedwhen I hit college, which I
believe happens with a lot ofyoung folks.
You know, we get to college, wetry different things, sometimes
it's earlier, but if we look atthe mental health challenges,
but if we look at the mentalhealth challenges, because the
(05:54):
other thing that I didn'tmention earlier is I did attempt
to unalive myself three times.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
So why did you?
What do you think we all drankin college.
So, what was it that in yourpast kind of brought you to that
point where you felt you neededto cope that way?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Well, and that was the thing I mentioned, those
three attempts because I wastouching on the mental health
challenges that were there, thatwere undiagnosed, unrecognized,
which a lot of times happen inour community, most of the time
it happens in our community.
So as a child just growing up,you know I was very privileged
(06:33):
but I was very smart.
So when I got put up inkindergarten to first grade,
even though I was smarter, I wassmaller and also that means
that my mind technically, mm,hmm.
And also that means that mymind technically, even though I
could read and do everythingvery well, my emotional mindset
was not ready.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Your EQ was much lower than your IQ.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
And so, being that little guy that didn't get
picked by the best friends orwhomever on the team, you know,
I remember, even as a child,getting upset about certain
things, running and hidingbehind the bleachers and crying
and all kinds of stuff.
I never recognized that until Igot sober I never realized that
these were things, as much as Ihad a privileged life.
(07:16):
And when I was in middle schooland somebody called me out of
my name, said, does somebodywant to dance with this
N-wordword, I never realized howthat shaped my mindset.
And so when we talk aboutadverse childhood experiences,
everything doesn't have to be sodramatic okay and so I coped
with alcohol because once I gotto college, I thought that was a
(07:37):
way to fit in.
I thought that that was a wayfor me to deal with my problems,
and that's why I was saying theattempts on the live, because
that was the first time thathappened, where there should
have been some type of arecognition or diagnosis then
but it wasn't so.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
the first time was in college.
The first time was in college.
Yes, can you tell us?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
about that a little bit.
Well, it was a situation whereI felt everybody was upset with
me.
You know, I truly realized thatand this can kind of tie into
it too of something that Ididn't realize.
My accountability partner,about a year or so ago, sent me
something about approvaladdiction.
So I was addicted to gettingeveryone's approval because I
was thinking I was still thatlittle man and so anytime I
(08:22):
would get upset or something,then I would feel as though the
world didn't like me.
And so this was one of thosetimes where it was a situation
where I did something wrong,Everybody was kind of upset with
me and I just thought that Ihad lost everybody.
My accountability partner too.
That learned me very well afterI did a presentation last.
But she said, you know, sheused to tell me that it seemed
(08:44):
like I was that child, that whenI would get upset I'd pick my
toys up and leave.
But that was that approvaladdiction, Because anytime
little Scooter would get hurt, Iwould drink more, I would do
whatever you know.
And then, like I say, therewere just several times where I
just felt that nobody cared.
You know, I didn't pleaseeverybody.
(09:05):
People pleaser, yeah, yeah.
So when people weren't pleasedwith what I did.
It would just take me intothese slumps and depths of
depression that I neveridentified them as depression.
But then it was also becauseI'm technically diagnosed
bipolar depressed.
Some of that drinking was partof that hypomania because,
especially when I went to thestrip club, spent plenty of
(09:27):
money.
You know so that hyperspending,hypersexuality are those sorts
of things that are undiagnosed,that are also addictions.
And then you know, we have to behonest, you know addiction is a
trait as well.
So we have to look at familyhistory and it may skip a
generation.
Or you know drinking stuff.
In college I didn't see my daddrink, but I learned more about
(09:48):
his drinking patterns.
We have to look at ourgrandparents and one thing I say
with that is when we, when wehave, when we have certain
things that happen with us oreven our kids, we have to
understand that we're all seedsand seeds are planted in us.
So a lot of times it's not theexternals that we have to figure
out, it's that internal seed.
(10:09):
And I literally just had aconversation with my son, my
eight year old, about this,literally exactly about drinking
and seeds that.
He looks like me, so he's goingto act like me me okay.
(10:29):
So I've learned more through mywork with my nonprofit and my
dad being my COO things that hewould share, that I realize now
that there were certain traitsabout things.
I just didn't see it because hehealed sooner than I did on my
life's journey.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Hey, you brought up mental fitness earlier.
What do you mean by that?
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Well, every time we say mental health in the black
community, everybody want to saynothing wrong with me.
But the reality is it's justlike going to the gym.
If you go to the gym and you'reworking out and your homeboy
come up and grab you and be likecome on man, come on man.
You might be able to shake himoff because you've been working
out, but if you haven't beenworking out you can't shake them
(11:10):
off as quick.
It's just like your mind.
If we don't take care of ourmental health and continue to
remain mentally fit, when thesechallenges come, I tell people I
may get down, but I don't getstuck, because we all suffer
different times from differentlevels of depression or anxiety
or those sorts of things.
But some of us have tougherchallenges.
But we all have to do the workso that when situations come
grief, depression, all of thosethings we have to keep our minds
(11:35):
fit so we can shake thosethings off easier.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
That makes sense.
So when you're posting yourbrunches, is that a time where
you're really looking tostrengthen that mental fitness
as a group?
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Exactly, and just so you know, everybody says because
I do the brother's brunch, it'snot too many actual brunches,
it's just called a brunchbecause it's time to get fed,
got it?
So we do have those discussionsand that's one of the things
that I'm big on is even atself-care.
So just to give you an idea ofwhat I'm talking about, I have
(12:07):
five principles for my mentalhealth fitness sleep, breathing,
meditation, exercise andactivity.
And I always joke and say youain't gonna find me in that damn
gym.
I do yoga, I go to chiropractor, physical therapy, all those
different things as maintenanceyeah and then, last but not
least, therapy, because therapyis therapeutic, not problematic.
(12:30):
We all need someone with anon-emotional connection to to
just debrief on life on aregular basis, but the reality
is we think that we don't.
I don't need no therapist, it'snot a need, it's like a life
coach.
That's what my eight-year-oldson has been proactively in
therapy because that actuallyhelps me be less stressful,
because I could help himnavigate based on what the
(12:52):
therapist might recommend,versus me projecting my traumas
on him based on what I think isbest.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
That is so profound and so well thought out.
I mean, I have theseconversations with people all
the time and I'm like damn it ifI can go back 15, 20 years and
just parent my kids better,because this is one example.
Right there I have a 10 yearold and it's interesting because
, you know, I was driving herback home yesterday to her mom
and we're on the road for aboutfive and a half hours.
We just talked.
Speaker 4 (13:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
And most of what we talked about was just you know,
hey, how are you feeling aboutgoing to school, your new
friends, new teachers?
And she was just like I'm alittle nervous, I'm a little
anxious.
No-transcript.
(13:48):
And they do a much better jobthan we give them credit for at
that young age.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
They do If you allow them to.
Yeah, and allow them to.
We want them to be quiet and wewant them to listen.
Yeah, know what's best for ourchild?
No, we don't.
That's why I have a therapist,because if I think I know to
make a decision, I will ask thetherapist hey, do you think that
his best for his age group?
Do you think that his this isbest for his development so far?
(14:15):
And see, that's mental healthfitness.
Already with my son, when Italk about with the brothers,
like three years in a row I'vedone a black man's holiday
relaxation with salt cave,oxygen Bar and those sorts of
things.
But two weeks ago my son say,hey, daddy, we haven't been to
the Oxygen Bar and the Salt CaveMental health fitness already
(14:36):
there.
You know, at night, daddy, I'mgoing to turn on the music,
meditation music at night.
You know.
Those are the things that, as Isay, and when I, when I work
with the dads and the kidsbecause we did a dads and kids
vision board party as well whatI say is we're bridging the
generational gap of mentalhealth awareness because, just
like stefan just said aboutlistening to his daughter, we
(14:59):
did a black men's wellnessretreat age 59 to 21, and one of
the young men said at theretreat you all put a new
meaning on Ankh because you'relistening.
How many times, if you thinkabout us, did we feel as though
no one was listening?
That's that mental healthfitness, because, even working
with my child, that heals mefrom certain frustrations,
(15:24):
certain traumas or certainthoughts that I may have had,
because I'm learning that youknow what.
Hey, he's right, that's okay Ifeel like that.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
There's definitely a huge difference between the
different generations.
I'm assuming we're all aboutthe same age come on.
I'll say it slow because youguys old, you might not be able
to follow um, but like ourgrandparents, you think about
like, from that generation toour parents' generation to our
generation, just how we talk tokids, how they disciplined us
(15:53):
Like I mean I'm sure we all gotthe belt growing up, right, but
I mean like now, like kids, likeI'm not taking off my belt.
You know like it's moreconversations like taking off my
belt.
You know like it's moreconversations like, right, it's
mental health.
There's a lot more awarenessaround it.
Our generation now and theyounger generation, we're more
quick to have conversations andfigure out like what's going on,
because you just and I don'tknow if it's the awareness like
(16:14):
all the bad stuff that we see,maybe it's always been there but
you don't hear about it becausesocial media is a big thing now
yeah so it's like no one wantstheir kid to be that kid, that
kid that's on the news forsomething crazy because, then
that's reflected on you as well.
So the age groups that you workwith, right, I know that you do
the kids and you do adultsseparately.
Do you do them at the same time?
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Well, and and you know that's always interesting
because I really don't work withkids directly Most of the time
most of the time is with thedads.
Okay, because, just what yousaid, we have to bridge that gap
.
Yeah, and I could work with thekids, but when they go home, if
there's no consistency, thenwhat happens?
And I think that that's what werun into, because you mentioned
(16:56):
about how we've been parentedeverybody's not healed from that
parenting and they're justprojecting that on their kids.
So when I do work with theyouth, and mainly that's at the
school, unless it's somebody inhigh school that somebody
reaches out to me for.
But I'm mainly now certified asa peer specialist for mental
(17:27):
health in general, but alsoparents.
So even when people ask me aboutworking with their child, I
have to take a step back and say, okay, well, we're going to
have to have some conversationstoo, because I need you to
understand that the parentingthat may have been taking place
may not be because take, forinstance, you work with a child,
then they do something a weeklater.
(17:49):
Then it's like they eitherthrowing you up as in well, you
know, mr reddick told you suchand such.
Why are you doing then?
That breaks a.
That breaks a trust boundarythere, that the child looks at
me as not a part of their teambut the parents.
But but then also I need theparent to understand that just
because I talk to your childonce or twice, that doesn't mean
(18:11):
that your child is going to beup and ready and going.
I call it a holistic approachwith a W because there's so much
money and different things thatare even put into programs for
our youth, but there may be an Nof one or two that are kind of
like the poster kids, becausethe parents aren't necessarily
involved.
So the way that we trulyincrease the end for mental
(18:34):
health awareness, mental healthfitness and decrease in mental
health challenges is a holisticapproach and that's where I
focus on.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
And when you're putting together your approaches
, do you ever have to makeadjustments for the range of
people that show up?
Because if you havemulti-generation people there,
like we were talking aboutearlier, you may not be able to
talk to a 60-year-old the sameway you could talk to a
22-year-old right.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
The thing about it is , like I say, because I don't
really have to worry about thekids most of the time time.
You know that's usuallyspecific.
You'd be surprised at theconversations when I have people
that are in the room or on acall of 19 to 79.
But the great thing about it isthe elders love to hear the
younger people and to understand.
(19:16):
But it's the environment thathas been set by Brothers Brunch
Foundation and not that it's forthe younger people to come in
to just get fed by the older,because we learn so much from
the young men but we had tolearn to listen.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yeah, I found that's true.
Even recently I've hadconversations, like I said, with
my own kids, with my son, did apodcast recently here where
myself and my son talked toanother father and his son and
then we heard what they had tosay in terms of what we did
right, what we did wrong, whatwe could have done better, what
they are taking from us to theirfamilies when they have
children of their own, and itwas eye-opening.
(19:51):
Man, it's kind of tough to belike you look at your son and go
, hey, is anything that I didthat you're going to carry with
you?
What are you going to reject?
Speaker 4 (20:02):
And for your son to be super honest and be like well
, I'm not doing that shit, youknow.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
And you're like damn yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I wouldn't do it either right now, Right Back
then I did, but I wouldn't do itnow.
So there's a big difference.
And even to your point too,Jabari, when you said earlier,
like the way we parent now youhad your kids later.
I was a different father at 26.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
I was ready with the belt, you know?
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Yeah, and that's why that's why, when my kids look at
my grown kids now, who look atmy 10 year old, they go she gets
away with murder.
Or they'll see me sit there andtalk to her and reason with her
and they go like are youkidding me?
That's not what you did with me.
Whoop her ass.
I'm like no no, it's different,I'm like no, it's a different
(20:44):
day.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
I would have done the same thing if I had known
better.
You know, and she's not worseoff for it.
She's better off for it.
Speaker 2 (20:47):
Yeah, but you were a kid parenting kids exactly you
don't know this when you're inyour 20s you swear, you're grown
, you know, you don't and Igotta say, you know, I think
that women in their 20s are morelike us in our late 30s 100
right.
So it's like, like you said,living for others.
Seeking that approval and I'mchildren and I think I know what
I'm doing, Right?
Yeah, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Yeah, and you know what, and one of the things that
you just mentioned about is thecheck, because I have one
that's 25 as well.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
So you know I mean having one later.
I stopped drinking when my sonwell, I had my last binge the
day after my son's fifthbirthday my son's fifth birthday
.
So it's one of those things toothat, through healing and
that's what I want to say to you, steph, is there's probably
some healing that's taken placeas well that has allowed your
mind to be more refreshed whenmaking decisions.
(21:35):
I tell people you can't cuss,fuss or beat you out your child.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
I love that line.
That's a good one, and then youtrademarked that.
Yet hey, I haven't, I haven'tyou need to, but I'm going to
say officially here on the manwho Matters podcast that is
Cooter's line yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
And the thing about it is when those we're going to
go old school, when thosewhoopings do take place, is that
truly frustration with them orfrustration with self?
Because if we are in a bettermindset and able to be refreshed
already in our mind when thatchild has something, that
(22:14):
happens, it frees us up to beable to talk to them rather than
react out of frustration tothem.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
So what about the argument that his badass just
needed a whooping because?
Speaker 4 (22:24):
he did X, y and Z.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Is there any validity to that whatsoever or do you
think that, at no point in timeshould that be is your
philosophy?
We should never put hands onthem, no matter what happens,
because it's a reflection of howwe see ourselves within that
kid Exactly.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
I have not put hands on my son.
A matter of fact, I can't evenremember my daughter putting
hands on her, Not to say that Ihadn't.
I just can't remember right now.
But I can even tell now how Ireact to him.
Now, if he's doing something, Ineed to grab him or something.
I have to do that personalcheck too, to say, OK, do I
(23:01):
really need to do this or do Ireally need to do that?
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
But it goes back to and I keep defaulting back to
this mental health fitness.
If we're involved, if we'represent, if we truly understand
our child, then maybe we won'thave those frustrations because
we're already identifying thingsthat we might need to help
navigate.
And, like you said, steph, alot of times that is us seeing
(23:25):
us.
And that goes back to what Isaid.
We can't take that frustrationout on them.
We have to make sure that theyhave the tools, you know,
because we think that since werun into practice, since we do
this or that or whatever, thatwe're there for them.
I put a roof over your head, Iput food on your table.
That's great, that's what we'resupposed to do.
(23:47):
But do we go in and sit downand play the game to see what
they're playing?
Do we ask them when certainthings happen, where did you get
it from to understand, to maybehelp them navigate through the
situation better?
Speaker 2 (23:58):
well, you know you have a lot of parents that are
absolutely trying and tryingright.
Think about the mom and dad,and I don't even want to go into
a single parent household I'mjust thinking the mom and dad
are both working yeah they'recoming home, they're they're
gone for 12 hours, you know,work for eight and a half, nine
hours, right, and then there'scommute.
They get home and they're doingall of these things.
(24:19):
They're doing homework andthey're trying to pour into that
kid.
You see the challenge.
I guess what I'm getting at isit's easier said than done.
They are doing all of thosethings and they are pouring into
their kids the best they knowhow, but there's only so many
hours in a day for you to figureout how to also be some type of
mental health coach to your kidor be more therapeutic, where
it's a lot easier to justcorrect and reprimand rather
(24:41):
than spending an hour in acoaching session with them.
Am I making sense?
I see where it could be achallenge.
Okay, and what do you recommendfor that?
Because that's reality for mostpeople?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
I think Well, first of all, are you taking care of
yourself to make sure that youare fit enough to give the
energy that is needed?
And we have to be intentionalabout taking care of ourselves.
We have to be intentional onusing the resources for our kids
.
When we talk about time, we cantalk about money.
Let's look at what else we'redoing with our time.
(25:11):
Do you not have that hourbecause you got to catch your
show?
Do you have that hour becauseyou're ready to have that drink
before you go to bed or gooutside and have your smoke?
Do you not have the resourcesto pay for their therapy
sessions or something that mightbe needed?
Well, it's covered underinsurance, but you don't want to
pay the co-pay because you'regoing on a vacation.
(25:32):
Uh, you got to go out with thefellas or you got to have this
drink.
I think that challengessometimes are made up by our own
actions Sometimes.
Sometimes.
To be fair To be fair.
Yeah, you know, but it goesback to that old saying we make
time for what we want.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Like even for myself, insurance wise, like I told you
about physical therapy andchiropractic and all that stuff,
that's a doctor's appointmentbut it's truly self-care.
That therapy appointment it's adoctor's appointment but it's
truly self-care.
That therapy appointment is adoctor's appointment, but it's
truly self-care.
So I say it's a challenge whenyou haven't utilized the
resources that are at hand forus and our families to be well.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
And what you're speaking on right now is just
having your regular medicalbenefits and using those to the
fullest.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Yes, because see, we use health insurance like car
insurance.
What do you mean?
Speaker 2 (26:26):
If something go wrong , you pay it every month, I see,
and if something go wrong withyour car then you go and check
it out.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Then you go and check it out.
Health insurance are benefitsto benefit us and our family
Benefits get us ahead.
So when we talk aboutchallenges, we got a lot of
benefits to help us preventcertain challenges in life that
we don't utilize.
So that's why I say, yeah, some.
Some may have some true, truechallenges, but this challenge
(26:55):
might be the challenge that youdidn't use the resources for
everybody to be well.
Yeah, so that's why I try toremove some of the things to be
well.
So that's why I try to removesome of the things and I always
speak from a peer as of what hasworked for me and how I'm
better, and I know differentpeople do have different
challenges, but at the end ofthe day, if we don't utilize our
(27:15):
resources, everything can be achallenge.
Yeah, Scooter.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
I want to take it back a little bit to the making
of the superhero.
I want to go back to that and Iknow it could be challenging.
And if it is, just let me know.
You talked about three attempts.
You talked about the first onein college.
What led to the other two?
How did you survive the othertwo?
What got you out of that rutthat you were in and what got
you through the time period fromthe last attempt all the way to
(27:40):
three and a half years ago towhen you became sober?
Speaker 1 (27:44):
The sense of hopelessness.
I talked about the approvaladdiction, the sense of
addiction.
Alcohol is a depressant.
A lot of people don't realizethat it actually impacts the
neurotransmitters of your brain.
Okay, so you're never able to.
As an alcoholic for 30 years,my mood was never regulated, and
so every time you would drinkand I tell people when you drink
(28:07):
, it's not just that your bodyis dehydrated, you've put your
body in a state of depression,and that's what I never was able
to push through yeah wascontinually putting my body in a
state where my mind, my mood,was never regulated.
I could easily slip intodepression.
I mean, I used to go down forlike a week at sometimes, and
(28:29):
depending on what it was thathad triggered me fear of being
in trouble because of alcoholand a situation I might've
gotten in, and I just thought Iwouldn't get out of it.
And it was the only way.
As my dad said one time, everytime I drank I didn't get in
trouble, but every time I got introuble I was drinking.
So every time I tried tounalive myself, I was under the
(28:52):
influence.
I was in a situation where Ijust felt nobody cared and I
just didn't want to be here.
And so three and a half yearsago, when I went on my last
binge and I ended up at theinpatient unit, my dad had
always told me son, pray thatthe taste be removed from your
tongue.
So mine was that true spiritualawakening that a power greater
(29:16):
than myself restored me tosanity.
Now I'm not an AA-er.
I haven't been in about 15years.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
I was going to say so .
What happened three and a halfyears ago?
Is that what you're about to gointo?
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yeah, so I went out on my last binge for three days,
ended up going to see an oldfriend after I came off the
binge.
I don't know why God, but Iknow why.
But God led me there.
You know I was sitting next toa homeless guy at my old liquor
store, you know, drinking,getting cussed out.
And then I just went by the oldapartment and then I got a call
(29:49):
from my psychiatrist that Ididn't realize I was supposed to
have an appointment that day.
I'm thinking somebody had beencalled her, tracked her down and
she said what's going on?
I said I've been out on thebench for the past three days.
I said I think I need some help.
She said and so we called mydaughter on the phone on
three-way, and my daughter cameand took me to the detox center
(30:13):
inpatient.
And one of the things too wasthat first day that I woke up
there and I saw the doctor, myblood pressure was 163 over 103.
Speaker 4 (30:22):
Is that good or bad?
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Man, that sounds horrible.
That stroke People in therelike man, how you even walk
around with this oh wow Peoplein there, like man, how you even
walk around with this.
You know, and I truly believethat my journey and my testimony
at that point I needed to seewhat the inside was like so that
I can be able to relate topeople, like now when I go and I
speak at the inpatient unitsevery Tuesday.
(30:45):
That's what God had destinedfor me, for that to be the end
of my journey, and that date was2-2-22.
The four twos represent thesign of the angels peace and
adversity change in your life.
So a lot of times it's kind oftough for me to explain exactly
what or how I got through,because God brought me through
(31:09):
at that particular date.
But I realized that I had to bepresent for myself.
I never did that.
I was always trying to savepeople, always trying to please
people.
So what really got me to thepoint to make that difference
was number one I stoppeddrinking.
I started to learn who Scooterwas.
I was very successful.
I was a 25-year pharmaceuticalrep, executive sales rep,
(31:31):
platinum performer, as a blackman built two brand new houses
in his lifetime.
But I wasn't happy.
I didn't know that becauseeverybody loves Scooter,
everybody wanted Scooter to behere, there, but it was almost
like I was being a monkey ineverybody's circus and I never
even said that before.
But as I think more about it,that's pretty much how it was,
because now I don't go out, Idon't do things like I used to,
(31:53):
because I'm happy and I'mpleased with me and I'm at peace
with myself because I found mytrue purpose.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Were you spiritual prior to that moment, three
years ago?
Speaker 1 (32:03):
I'm more spiritual now.
Right, I was more religiousthen.
Okay, I mean, I grew up in thechurch.
Now I may sit and look at threedifferent services and receive
what I need to for my spirit,right.
So I didn't worry aboutspending the time now, even
though I am a member of a church.
(32:24):
But it's not like I feel asthough I got to find the right
church because I am morespiritual now.
Do I love to go in forfellowship?
Yeah, like I said, I went today.
Yeah, but I watched twoservices before that.
So that's why I say it's adifference between spirituality
and religion, because religioncan be a divide which brings
(32:46):
about a whole nother mentallevel of stress.
Speaker 2 (32:49):
Yeah, that's a whole other podcast, yeah I was asking
because you have people that,when they're at that point where
they need to make that leap,right from you know addiction to
sobriety.
Sometimes they need that extrayeah thing, that thing that you
can place your finger on.
It's the divine, it's somethingelse, and I guess I'm asking if
(33:11):
they don't have that, what doyou recommend?
Because not everybody is fromthat place.
Some people are atheists andthey're struggling with that,
and it's all good people.
You mentioned that you felt acalling pull you through, you
know.
So how does someone else whodoesn't have that cope in that
situation?
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Well, you know, it's always a tough question because
everybody's healing journey isdifferent, and that's one thing
is, you know, if you talk to aclinician, they might give you
advice.
If you talk to a peer, I'm moreof a person that helps navigate
through my lived experiences.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
And so what I'd say to that is we've been programmed
anyway mind, body, spirit.
In that hierarchy, the spiritis last.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Well, that's upside down.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Thank you, that's what I was going to say.
It should be spirit, mind, body.
Speaker 4 (34:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
I know I was doing.
I think on the previous podcastwe were on, we had somebody
even say well, why is the spiritand mind separate?
Because I mentioned this before.
But you know, once we get outour minds and stop trying to
figure everything out, then thatlowers the stress level some
and therefore it I don't havethat impulse to drink.
So I would say that for anyone,and I don't.
(34:22):
I don't get into debating whoyour higher power is when it
comes to addiction and sobrietyright just as long as you're
listening to the spirit and notthe spirits, then I think that
there can be some forwardprogress.
Yeah, but we have to trulyremove those things that are
(34:42):
hindering us from having a clearmind so that we can truly
listen to the spirit.
Now, what I do recommend topeople is to, because number one
is that sleep most.
Most of the times when you'regoing through these things, the
main thing you say I'm justtired, I'm just tired and we
really are tired.
So once we start to sleep andget that rest, that's one angle.
(35:04):
But then also, when I talkedabout that meditation, you know
what are we doing to soothe ourminds, to not be as stressed, so
that we don't drink, so that wedon't use drugs, so that we
don't go to porn.
I mean, that's a whole another.
That could be a whole anotherconversation.
But we're talking aboutaddiction and how do we move
past addiction?
Right, and then it's alwaysbeing around those people that
(35:27):
have made it through.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
And be careful of who you speak with, because those
that haven't gone through itprobably don't have the answers
sure would it be safe to say, Iguess, to kind of answer your
question if they don't have thatuh spirit or being that's
greater than themselves to findeither a loved one?
Speaker 1 (35:43):
yeah, this conversation right here is power
greater than ourselves.
Yeah, it could be a peer groupaccountability.
Accountability.
Yeah, I mean it, could you know?
Hey, whatever, two or more jointogether.
I mean, it doesn't just justfind something that is greater
than you trying to go through itby yourself.
Correct, that is going to feedyour mind appropriately.
(36:06):
So one big thing for me is peergroups as a higher power.
So, if you want to add directlya suggestion, I'm in two to
three peer groups a week, nomatter if I'm leading them or
not.
Mental health recovery orwhatever.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
That goes back to the maintenance and fitness.
What I'd work with folks on ismaking sure that we're putting
the right tools and the rightagendas and just making sure
that we're consistent.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
Are you typically seeking out people or people
finding you?
How does one get into thefoundation?
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Well, I mean, some people get referred but, like I
said, it's not too many peoplethat I don't meet.
Sometimes I meet people two orthree times and they say,
remember I met you at?
I say look, I just don't want abrother to be left.
I'm a boots on the groundstreet ministry.
I'd rather be going out tobarbershops than to be planning
an event, because the reality ishow many people actually come
(36:59):
to events?
A lot of times, yeah, you getthe people that are there doing
the event, you get the peoplethat are supporting the people
at the event, but the peoplethat I want to seek are in the
barhops, maybe even in church,at the gas station.
So I'm always seeking peoplebecause I never know I mean,
I've got homeless guys off thestreets to go to recovery, at
(37:21):
least assist them with something.
We are truly a street ministry.
Thanks, that's really powerful.
Speaker 3 (37:27):
Do you have a limited amount of spots?
Do you ever fill up or is itsomething that, where you can,
you can handle as many people asneed help?
Speaker 1 (37:33):
Well, and then the thing about it is that when we
talk about the kickstart, ofcourse it takes funding, because
we've actually paid for men todo therapy, recovery sessions.
Just if people, if they say,hey, school, I'm just going
through something, I might say,hey, just meet me at the spa,
let's get some oxygen, let's getsome oxygen, let's get some
salt k.
So a lot of that work dependson the funding.
But I do work with otherorganizations, like black man
(37:55):
hill, where, if I need to linkthem up there or something so,
but as of events, um, I'm notone that tries to fill the
auditorium.
I'm big on the intimacy becauseI don't like to leave where
somebody's feelings, thoughtheir question was an answer.
The most I've had, probably, atany event, is maybe 40, but
(38:17):
that was a mixed crowd.
But most of my men I try tokeep them maybe around 30 at the
most, just because I want tomake sure that we're able to sit
and talk together.
In the three years I've beendoing this two years of official
non-profit I haven't had aspeaker.
Everything is aboutconversations.
People say, hey, you want to, Icould come in and do a pre-test
(38:39):
.
I say you come in and be a partof the conversation.
If you look at my business card, it says I'm a motivational
conversationalist.
Speaker 4 (38:48):
Yeah, yeah, because I don't have the answers for you.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
That's why I don't use the word help I I don't.
I don't have the answers foryou.
That's why I don't use the wordhelp.
I don't help men, I supportthem, you know, because I don't
have the answers.
You know the answer lies withinyou most of the time.
So once we get in thoseconversations, I want to make
sure that anybody can speak.
So is there a limit?
No, but am I worried about howmany people show up?
I've had one person show up twodifferent times and it was one
(39:13):
of the most impactful.
One of the times we did get aman off the street that night.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
Oftentimes, when we hear about addiction and someone
goes sober, there's a relapse.
What has helped you to keep youon the straight and narrow, so
you never relapsed?
Speaker 1 (39:30):
It's funny.
Something just came to my headas I like what I see in this new
world, because I always saycoming into sobriety.
It's like dorothy and toto.
We're not even canvassing nomore but I've truly appreciated
this peace that I have now.
I literally said yesterday I'mlike I was talking to shoot.
That might be when you calledme yesterday and I was like man,
(39:51):
I said't never made it to threeand a half years before I said
it's his feeling, you know, Imean it feels good and now that
I can truly see my purpose ahead.
But just take a glimpse at mypast and not be stuck there.
It gives me just enough glimpseto know, Scooter, you don't
want to go back there, you.
It gives me just enough glimpseto know, Scooter, you don't
(40:12):
want to go back there.
You feeling too good.
Now Scooter Trey is seeing you.
Scooter Trey says my daddy'sthree years alcoholic free, my
daddy stopped drinking when Iwas five.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Yeah, Sorry brother.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
No, don't be sorry, man, this is what we have to do.
Man, it's all right, this iswhat we have to do.
My son can save.
My daddy stopped drinking whenI was five years old.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Yeah, it's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
I don't want to.
I took my oldest through enoughthat now we can sit down on
Tuesdays and she just takes meearly.
Are we still on for Tuesday?
I can meet her for lunch and wetalk about me and her yeah,
Things that haven't.
I was there but I wasn'tpresent yeah I don't want to
(40:53):
lose that presence.
I don't want to lose thatpresence to myself, I don't want
to lose that presence to myfamily.
But I had to surrender.
Like I said, we were justtalking about christian religion
.
You know I don't want to saygod, but I always say when
people say school, are you doingthis?
I say god did because Irealized that this thing is
greater than me and when we findour purpose, we find our peace.
And I stopped chasingeverything else in the world.
(41:15):
You know that external wouldkill us man, and I did it for a
long time, trying to get to acertain status, trying to do
certain things, but now I don'thave all that anymore, but I'm
at peace.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
So, someone going through what you went through
all these years, I think whatI'm hearing you say is the way
they find their strength and theway they find a way to stay on
the path is to look at whatthey're becoming and their
purpose and who they are in thatmoment and not be stuck and be
triggered by things of the past.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Yeah, and just like you mentioned that triggering,
triggering is lessened whenhealing is increased.
Say that again Triggering islessened when healing is
increased.
We become triggered becausethere's something inside that's
still there that causes us toreact that way.
So that's another part of howI'm able to stay where I am,
(42:12):
because I realize that healingis not a destination.
Healing is a continuous journeyof life and I have to continue
to do the work so that I cancontinue on this healing journey
, so I won't be triggered, so Iwon't drink.
So that triggering is veryimportant because most of the
time is when we trigger it, itgives us those setbacks that
ends us back up in the trap oflife.
(42:34):
It's in us, okay.
So the work has to be donewithin.
You can't fix that, you can'tdo this.
You got to have that healingthat comes within.
That's what's going to cause alot of pain to at least be
lessened.
You know, and you say I'mcareful with the words.
I didn't say diminished, Idon't say stop, I say lesson,
(42:55):
because there's still going tobe things that may be there yeah
but, like I said, it's themagnitude.
So let's magnify the healing andstop magnifying the issues.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
Right, you mentioned a few times already everybody
else is welcome, but you focuson black men now what when we
talk about the challenges thatblack men face as far as mental
health?
How is that different thananyone else?
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Well, the seeds that we have in us, the seeds that go
back to slavery, that areunhealed, that have been birthed
and birthed and birthed andbirthed for generations, yeah,
we like the caged eggs in thegrocery store okay everybody
want the uncaged eggs becauseyou don't have the stress and
(43:39):
hormones of being in that cage.
we, the caged eggs, we got thosestresses and hormones that just
keep being birthed and passedalong.
Yeah, so until we heal andthat's why I have my son
proactively in therapy, yeah,and, like I told him, I don't
want you to have certain thingsthat daddy may not have done
(44:00):
right, that are birthed into you.
It's five to six generations ofunhealed birth trauma.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
At least At least.
Yeah, that's what we face andthat's the thing At least, at
least yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Plus what we face.
And that's the thing.
And when you think about theexternals that we have to deal
with, we can't deal with theexternals that's going on until
we get some healing on theinside.
We just talked about thattriggering, right?
So we keep getting triggered asblack men because we have the
seed that's in us.
We're faced on what's going onwith the externals, so when we
(44:31):
react to it based on theunhealing, then we end up in
those situations.
Speaker 2 (44:35):
what do you have to say to the black women who,
listening to this right now, arethinking well, obviously we
need healing too, but what I'mwhat I'm thinking is they're
hearing some of what we'rethinking and how to cope with
the black men in their lives, ifthat makes sense.
So what do you have to say?
To them for the black men intheir lives, if that makes sense
.
So what do you have to say tothem?
Speaker 1 (44:52):
For the black women even to deal with a black man.
Let's make sure that we are allhealing, because there's so
much projection on the black manand what they're doing.
But I believe that it's aculture that needs to heal, but
I believe that it's a culturethat needs to heal.
So a black woman can't evenassist a black man in healing,
(45:14):
or even giving grace orunderstanding, if they haven't
given themselves grace and donetheir own healing Right, because
they have their own set ofissues Exactly.
(45:35):
So you know, that's kind of adifficult question because it
depends on where they are in thejourney, where the black woman
is in their journey, because ablack man could be on a healing
journey, but then the blackwoman doesn't want to give grace
because she's still hurting.
Yeah, and I think that's whatwe face too.
There's a certain time whenblack men being black men and
going through and start ahealing process, and then the
woman may not want to give gracebecause they haven't healed.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
But if you are healed , or healing or healing yeah,
because I did say we're notjourney, yeah, yeah thank you,
thank you, thank you forcorrecting me on that.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
Well, that's swift right now.
I like that, you know.
So I mean, if, if, if you arehealing with grace of
understanding what you have hadto go through along your journey
to get where you are, give thatman that same level of grace.
But also and this question cameup about even the approaching
(46:25):
people and saying certain things.
Saying certain things, let'smake sure that we're not only
prepared to assist them alongtheir journey, but be prepared
to receive whatever response youmay get along that journey as
well, because when we help,we're looking for an answer or a
solution for them, but when wesupport them, for them, but when
(46:54):
we support them, we're trulytrying to understand how they
are feeling and what may be thebest situation for them also,
you need to be prepared towelcome who they are becoming.
There's going to be sometransformation yeah, I mean, and
that's, and honestly, thatcomes in relationships in
general and I can speak verycandidly about that because a
lot of people when I say I docertain things, sometimes
(47:14):
they're responding or theirfeelings are about scooter not
sober scooter OK, and that'swhere I have to coach a lot of
people too in understanding thateverybody is not on the same
healing journey.
And sometimes even on ourhealing journeys, through things
that may have happened, wemight have peeled a scar off, a
(47:36):
wound to somebody and throughthat part we have to understand
that.
And this goes for the black mentoo that are healing, because
we were talking about it, blackwomen understanding.
But we have to understand thatwhen we start healing,
everybody's not going tounderstand where you are on your
healing and that could be verytriggering too.
So the black man has tounderstand that she may not be
(47:59):
where I am and I can't let thathold me back from my progress
because I have to put my oxygenmask on first yeah but the woman
or whoever is dealing with thatperson in that relationship,
has to understand that I'mseeing a brand new person evolve
scooter, sober, scooter.
(48:20):
I am a brand new person.
I've totally been reinvented,yeah, and everybody has to
understand and some, as oneperson told me, everybody has to
understand that when it comesto that fork in the road with
somebody's making that change,everybody can't go.
That could be a spouse, thatcould be a child, that could be
a community, it could be anyone.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (48:41):
But that's a part of that healing journey and you
have to not just give the gracein the wrong, but you got to
give that grace in the progress.
Nice.
Speaker 3 (48:53):
You mentioned earlier that your foundation is a
nonprofit right.
So anyone listening, if theywanted to donate, that'd be a
tax write-off, correct?
Speaker 1 (49:01):
Oh, yes, it would be, it would be.
Speaker 3 (49:03):
Let's throw that out there.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
Hey, a matter of fact , on my soberversary yesterday,
I said, hey, it's 42 months.
If anybody wants to donate, $42, it was 1,227 days.
I said, if anybody wants to,hey, you know, hey, be
definitely.
You know, hey, appreciative andgrateful, they can do that, you
know.
So, yes, it is a nonprofit andso we do operate on, you know,
(49:29):
grants, donors, sponsors youknow we're always looking for.
You know, monthly donors, as wehave.
You know, men that need therapy.
You know men that may needself-care at different times, me
also being a mental health peercoach, I also do individual
coaching sessions with some ofthem.
Speaker 3 (49:47):
So and how would they reach out to you, to or the
foundation to make sure that youreceived?
Speaker 1 (49:52):
First of all, we are on Givelify.
That's our main, but a lot ofpeople don't know about Givelify
, but the link is on my website.
But Givelify is a nonprofitdonation site where if there's a
nonprofit that you'reinterested that is registered.
You just go in a lot ofchurches on it different
nonprofits.
But on the websitewwwbrothersbrunchfoundationcom,
(50:16):
you just go to the website,click on the link to donate and
it would be graciouslyappreciated.
Yes, where else can we find youBrothers Brunch Foundation Inc.
On Instagram as well asFacebook.
We are on YouTube building upthat site as well and, like I
said, the website, instagram,facebook.
Hey, you can find me If youneed to look up Sober Scooter.
(50:39):
Sober Scooter pops up too.
Speaker 3 (50:41):
Hey kids, like and subscribe Yep.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Hey.
Speaker 2 (50:44):
Any final words from you, brother?
Speaker 1 (50:46):
I just want to say, first of all, thank you all for
having me here.
I'm truly grateful.
I'm always willing to share mytestimony, because I never know
who's listening and it mighthelp.
This can be done.
Addiction can be overcome,mental health challenges can be
lessened.
But don't forget, you got totake care of yourself first.
Self-care is not selfish,sobriety is not selfish, and
(51:10):
always remember to put youroxygen mask on first.
That's what's up, man.
Speaker 3 (51:14):
I want to say thank you for sharing.
I can tell a big part of yourmessage was to take care of
yourself first, but obviouslywhen you're talking about your
son and your children, I couldtell that that's another big
reason why you did what you didor had to do yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (51:26):
I mean that is my family's, my wife.
You know I can that and that's,and that's what keeps me going.
A lot of reels.
I do this song Keep going, keepgoing.
And that's all I think about isjust hey, keep going, because
there's many times when I didn'twant to keep going.
So, yeah, I talk about myself,because if I don't take care of
myself, I can't take care ofthem.
Speaker 2 (51:46):
Yeah, all yeah, all right, traditionally when we end
the show.
You know this, you've heard theshow and I flipped the coin
earlier when you weren't here,and you lost Scooter.
Speaker 1 (51:57):
See, that's how that went, of course.
Speaker 4 (52:00):
Went no coin.
Speaker 2 (52:03):
So I got the outro notes.
You just got to read the outronotes and do an impression of
whoever you want.
Who are you going to be Scooter?
Speaker 1 (52:12):
I guess I'm going to go ahead and do the Bill Cosby
All right.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
Cosby show All right, you ready, yeah, we ready.
Speaker 4 (52:20):
Please support us by following the show.
Leave us a five-star review onApple Podcasts.
Thank you so much for listening.
Star review on Apple Podcast.
Thank you so much for listening.
We'll catch you next week whenwe share conversations
(52:40):
surrounding real issues we dealwith every day manhood matters.
Don't forget your pudding pops.
We're out.
There you go.
Speaker 3 (52:51):
That was good, you had it, though, with the pudding
pop.
You had it though, with thepudding pop.
Speaker 2 (53:15):
A quick message, as always.
The reason we do this show isfor educational and
entertainment purposes only.
We are not therapists and wedon't claim to be.
If you are struggling withanything, especially given the
nature of this particularepisode, the nature of this
particular episode, please reachout to a licensed therapist,
doctor or any other organizationthat is qualified to help you
(53:40):
deal with your issues.
But we do send you our love andour strength.
Talk to you guys next week.
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