December 15, 2025 • 64 mins
What if your biggest career win turns your home into a battlefield? That’s the question we wrestle with as Jenny, a former stay-at-home mom, walks us through her leap into insurance sales, the rapid rise that followed, and the marriage that couldn’t carry the weight of her success. It’s a raw, intelligent look at support, ego, and the invisible rules we bring into love and work.
We start with the spark: why she left the safety of a schedule, how she picked insurance using pure research and clear goals, and what those first months really felt like—training in cars, chasing late calls, and learning to sell with warmth instead of force. Her wins came fast. The celebration did not. Jenny breaks down how pride and provision got tangled at home, the quiet ways she protected her partner’s dignity, and the not-so-quiet ways resentment surfaced: nitpicking, jealousy, and even attempts to derail her momentum.
Alongside Jenny’s story, Willie and I map the real cost of entrepreneurship for couples. We contrast a nine-to-five mindset with the grind of sales, where weekends blur and there’s no off switch. We highlight what genuine support looks like—logistics handled, praise given, fewer distractions when the work is heavy. Jenny then offers a clear, modern framework for dating after divorce: choose men with vision, leadership, and either financial stability or hands-on competence. Money isn’t the only currency; reliability, routines, and rising habits matter. She’s honest about what many women feel and rarely say: it’s okay to want your bills paid, and it’s smart to value a partner who reduces your load.
We close with balance. Success can push women to live in constant “go” mode. Jenny shares how she protects her femininity—yoga, walks, art, prayer—so she stays grounded, relational, and effective. The takeaway is simple and hard: when women win, the household gets tested. The couples who thrive name their roles, honor each other’s strengths, and celebrate progress without fear. Listen, then tell us your take: does success reveal a partner—or replace them?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
I was supportive of him when no one else was.
So I felt when I started mybusiness, he was going to be the
same way.
And he was absolutely terrible.
Right.
And I didn't realize aboutmyself, I require a lot of
support.
Because the way I was raised, Ididn't get it.
So it was a reminder of what youknow of what I was lacking I'm
(00:22):
like, here it shows up again.
SPEAKER_08 (00:24):
We don't know what you mean.
So in what sense should thathave shown up for you for it to
be something that's eithertangible that you could not help
but notice?
Support in the sense of We knowthat over 50% of marriages end
in divorce.
We know that people have two,three, or even four so-called
(00:44):
committed relationships beforechoosing the one.
We also know that other than thenon-negotiables, you know,
infidelity, abuse, etc.,sometimes relationships just end
because you don't have ablueprint and we don't know what
we don't know.
Most successful men will tellyou that they owe their success
(01:06):
to their wives, someone who wasjust there to support them and
have their back.
Can women say the same?
I don't have stats.
I'm merely observing that whenwomen start their journey as an
entrepreneur, it's often seen asa side project.
Do we as men, do we as theirpartner step in to be their
(01:27):
backbone?
Today I am joined by my boyWillie Nash of the Nash
Insurance Group, and we'rehaving a conversation with a
woman who has lived the veryexperience I was just
describing.
Jenny started her business tenyears ago and her marriage
ended.
Is it just correlation or isthere causation there?
(01:48):
Pay close attention to thisconversation, then email us your
thoughts atmanhoodmatterspodcast at
gmail.com.
We'd love to hear from you.
Welcome to Manhood Matters.
Let's get to it.
(02:22):
You work with a lot of men, anda lot of them are very
successful men.
And you're an attractive woman,I would imagine that would
create a problem.
Are you married?
SPEAKER_00 (02:32):
Not anymore, no.
SPEAKER_08 (02:33):
Okay.
So why don't we start there?
Because you almost it almoststarts like that.
Might have been the you know thestraw that broke the camel's
back.
SPEAKER_00 (02:41):
So Oh wow, that's so deep.
Yeah, I don't know.
But it is.
SPEAKER_08 (02:45):
Is it it really is so tell us about that.
I mean, uh a lot of men I theystruggle with having a
successful woman.
Um we are possessive creaturesin a sense, and um we'll need
our egos stroked and made tofeel better.
So I imagine you had a lot ofchallenges.
So it's start from wherever.
SPEAKER_00 (03:04):
Okay, I gotta give you a backdrop too, because when
I came in, I was a stay-at-homemom for a decade.
SPEAKER_08 (03:10):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (03:10):
So you go from being at home, being under your
husband, your children for 10years to now you're around men
and very successful men.
So it did, you know, of coursewe had issues before me getting
into the business, but it itreally escalated really fast
because I went from staying athome, you know, in my
whereabouts, to in the insurancebusiness.
(03:32):
Like Willie knows we could beanywhere.
You know, I'm not going into anoffice.
I'm going outside in my car allday.
All day.
You know, so when we I'mserious, when we first started,
when you want to be successful,you know, and in sales, you
gotta work all day long.
Because you don't know when yoursell is coming.
SPEAKER_03 (03:47):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (03:47):
And then you gotta work all day long too, because
even if the day is good,tomorrow may not be good.
Correct.
So you don't just come in ifyou're a good, you know,
salesperson.
So no, it was a lot of issues.
It was a lot of who is thisperson calling?
Why are they calling you solate?
Where you gotta go again.
And then you're training.
So I had to train with people intheir car.
(04:08):
I hope, I hope my ex is notlistening to that.
Then you have to train with men,because the male dominated
field.
That's who's good.
SPEAKER_03 (04:16):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (04:17):
So you're in a very controlled space.
And we don't talk about thatenough.
That car, you're in a car withsomeone, that is a very intimate
space.
It's a very intimate space.
It's enclosed.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (04:28):
And you get to talk about it's not all about work.
You talk about other things.
SPEAKER_00 (04:32):
You talk about everything.
Your complaints, everything.
And when people you saidintimate, it's not like you got
RB playing and you're trying toset a move.
SPEAKER_08 (04:40):
There ain't no end of the road playing.
And a red light special goingon.
SPEAKER_00 (04:44):
But it is still a very closed-in, intimate space,
like you said.
SPEAKER_02 (04:49):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:49):
So then God forbid, if you are working with someone
that's attractive, you know, andhe's about his business, that's
an issue.
And a lot of times for me, youknow, we're talkative with
women, we're not trying to doanything or say anything out of
the way, but who do you talkabout?
I went from talking about mychildren and him all day to now
I'm talking about business.
And the business is not just theclients, the business is also
(05:12):
too now your quote unquotebusiness partner or, you know,
and they go Google them, youknow, on social media, and
they're like, who's this guy?
Gotta look like me.
SPEAKER_08 (05:22):
You gotta type.
SPEAKER_00 (05:24):
I'm like, I didn't pick him, they told me to go in
the car with the guy, you know,trading.
You know, he's gotta look likeme.
He's from Florida.
Oh my God.
You know, like, yeah, it's okay,you know, nothing's going on,
but it's rough.
SPEAKER_08 (05:37):
Why did you decide to go into business in the first
place?
You're a stay-at-home mum.
Sometimes that's a decision, andsometimes there's no choice.
You have to go back in the fieldbecause you need two incomes
now.
What was your main reason?
SPEAKER_00 (05:50):
It was we needed two incomes.
He was in sales as well.
Okay.
So we've been doing good.
You know, sales, you high.
SPEAKER_07 (05:55):
You're a little high.
You're low, you're middle.
It's good when it's good.
It's amazing.
And it's bad when it's bad.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (06:00):
And and I my stomach didn't like the falls.
SPEAKER_07 (06:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (06:04):
I said, you know what?
You know, I have a degree, I cando this.
And I really hated working forpeople.
Like I've had jobs, but I feltlike something wrong with me.
I don't like working for people.
And on my dad's side, they'reall entrepreneurs.
So it made sense, like, okay,now I don't like people telling
me when to go to work, when tobe there, and when to take a
lunch a break.
(06:24):
That was not my style.
I hated it.
Absolutely hated it.
And I was like, ah, thiscubicle, you know, why are you
not in your seat?
Why everybody at your cubicle?
And you asked them what it is.
I'm just sitting down.
So I've always talked a lot, youknow, very personable.
But the reason why, I knew I didnot want to be confined to a
schedule.
(06:45):
And I wanted my life to havepurpose.
I wanted to help people, and Iwanted to make a lot of money.
Before I was a personal trainer,I prayed to God, let me help
people, but I made a little bitof money.
So I said, I gotta be verydetailed with God.
Okay.
I said, God, okay, for real.
This time, I want to help peopleand I want to make some money
doing it.
(07:05):
And I know I need to do itquickly.
So I'm you used to call meGoogle Queen.
I Googled insurance business.
I Googled how much commission,how they get paid in advance.
I said I can help people to killtwo birds with one stone.
I'm gonna do this business.
And then, you know, my daughterswere still young.
I think one at the time was um,you know, I'm breastfed my
(07:25):
children kind of late.
So she was still kind ofbreastfeeding a little bit when
I was taking the tests and doingall that.
So I said, allow me to still behome with the kids and not
confined to a schedule.
So that's why I chose theindustry.
SPEAKER_02 (07:37):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:38):
I didn't know about, I wasn't thinking about I'm
gonna be around men with money,with cars, with influence.
My brain was like, let me signy'all up and get, you know, some
policies off you.
And as a matter of fact, thefirst year I got in, it was I
was only signing up familymembers and friends.
I was just aggressive about it.
I mean, I probably did about55,000 in my first year
(08:01):
part-time, just calling people.
If you say you knew somebody, Ididn't say, hey y'all, I just
got a policy.
I mean insurance.
Let me know.
No, I was like, let me talk tothem now.
Put them on three-way, let meget a number.
You know, I was aggressive inthat approach.
SPEAKER_02 (08:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (08:15):
And then I ran out of people.
I found a gentleman online.
He was very successful, and Iinstantly messaged him, hey, can
you help me?
And the rest was history.
He gave me a number to ourleader, called him, and I went
to work.
SPEAKER_02 (08:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (08:29):
And I went to work and I just married.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (08:33):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (08:33):
But it was still it was it was rough.
SPEAKER_02 (08:35):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (08:36):
And it was rough.
You know, he was, God, I'm nottrying to talk about this man
and the you know, because weactually we just talked
yesterday and I got some of hisrecipes for these.
We're friends now.
Yeah, too.
I went through a very roughdash.
unknown (08:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (08:51):
Even anybody.
Yeah, but he was like, You'renot doing them talking about.
SPEAKER_07 (08:56):
Yeah, we don't know who you're talking about.
Yeah.
We don't know him.
We'll call him Fred.
SPEAKER_00 (09:00):
Yes.
So, you know, I supported him somuch in his business, and you
know, I know everybody thinksthey're a good wife, but I I'm
I'm being for real.
I'm a phenomenal wife.
SPEAKER_08 (09:10):
Toot your own home.
So give me, give me two or threethings that qualified you as a
phenomenal wife.
SPEAKER_00 (09:16):
Very supportive.
SPEAKER_08 (09:17):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (09:18):
Very loving.
I kept myself together, kept thechildren together, educated.
You know, I cooked, cleaned,didn't nag him about what's
going on with your business,what's up with this money?
You need to get a job.
Like most women do.
I let him do his career and Ididn't nag him.
Prayed for him.
You know, he required a lot ofprayer.
I'm just being real.
(09:38):
Some people come from certainparts, you know, they're dealing
with a lot of struggle.
SPEAKER_02 (09:41):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (09:42):
So even when women say, I want to get married, I
want to get married, I'm like,you have no idea.
It's not what you see online.
You're not a prayer warrior,don't think about marriage.
SPEAKER_02 (09:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (09:52):
Just don't do it.
But he he will tell you to thisday, he's he, of course, you
know, hey, I screwed that thingall the way up, but I was
supportive of him when no oneelse was.
So I felt when I started mylittle business, he was gonna be
the same way.
And he was absolutely terrible.
SPEAKER_02 (10:13):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (10:14):
And I didn't realize about myself, I require a lot of
support.
Because the way I was raised, Ididn't get it.
So it was a reminder of what youknow of what I was lacking I'm
like, here it shows up again.
You know, I felt I should havehad more support.
SPEAKER_08 (10:31):
In what way should that support have because I will
tell you that men are dense inthe sense that we don't know
what you mean.
So in what sense should thathave shown up for you for it to
be something that's eithertangible that you could not help
but notice?
SPEAKER_00 (10:46):
Um, one don't aggravate me.
If I'm working, don't what Imean is, and I'm I'm gonna go
back to that, but for one,support in the sense of happy
for me that I got a sale today.
You know, happy for me that Iclosed that deal.
(11:07):
Um happy for me that you see megrowing and I'm you know, I was
always a reader, but I'm readingmore, I'm listening to, you
know, more audible and I'mtaking something on as a sales.
Because he's always telling me,Jenny, please just let me take
care of you and you you spend mymoney, but you salesperson, give
me a break.
You just you're not cut fromthat cloth.
(11:29):
You're not you don't have thatdog in you.
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_08 (11:31):
And I have to jump in because salespeople are not
born, they're made.
SPEAKER_06 (11:35):
That's right.
SPEAKER_08 (11:35):
And I can tell you with absolute certainty as
someone who's been successful insales and continue to I I brag
about this, I can take anylittle shithead and make them
into a sales monster.
So that's not something you sayto people.
SPEAKER_07 (11:49):
No lie.
SPEAKER_08 (11:49):
That's not still time to make it.
SPEAKER_00 (11:56):
So he said that, but I didn't come when I say I was
aggressive, I couldn't sell thebusiness like a man.
I mean, I get used my smile, myfemininity, you know, and I'm
more of a consultant here, but Idon't stop.
So I wasn't doing sales the wayhe thought it should have been
done.
But I was still very successful.
(12:17):
So he wasn't supportive in thefact of you can do it, and he
was sabotaging things.
He was make making me moremiserable, arguing about things
that he would normally never notargue about.
SPEAKER_07 (12:31):
You need to pick the kids up.
SPEAKER_00 (12:33):
He was doing all that.
He had he had the girls one timeand he left his expensive
glasses somewhere in the mall.
And he just hit the roof.
And I was like, listen, you leftthe glasses at perimeter, come
on.
I guarantee you somebody putthem up.
No, no, he just went off.
Show up, they have the glasses.
You know, but it was littlethings.
I was like, I can't work likethis.
(12:55):
I'm already dealing withsomething new.
It's a shift for me because Ilove being at home with my
children.
But it was a direct correlationfrom him that I can't provide
for her anymore.
SPEAKER_08 (13:05):
What do you think was the bigger threat?
Well, you think that itself wasthe bigger threat, or do you
think that it was a bit ofjealousy in terms of who you're
going to be around?
SPEAKER_00 (13:14):
Both.
SPEAKER_08 (13:15):
Okay.
So equally.
SPEAKER_07 (13:16):
A man wanna feel needed.
So when you're taking that fromhim, so that was some of his
resistance too.
SPEAKER_00 (13:23):
But what are we supposed to do?
Starve to death?
I was going to see thateverything.
unknown (13:27):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (13:27):
Like if you don't have anything.
Because some women will sitthere.
I have seen women sit there andlet the ship sink.
SPEAKER_08 (13:33):
I have had women sit there and let the shit sink.
SPEAKER_00 (13:36):
You know, and I'm like, do something already.
He he's just going through alittle thing, and I promise you
guys when I say he he wentthrough certain things, but he
will tell you I never was like,oh my God, give me a break.
You the one supposed to beproviding.
I'm the one this, I'm doing myjob.
Staying home with the kids,cooking, cleaning, keeping
myself together, right?
(13:56):
Being who I am.
And I think that even made himmore upset because it was like,
I don't have anything on her.
You know, like she's doingeverything she's supposed to do.
SPEAKER_08 (14:08):
And the reality is we do know that.
SPEAKER_00 (14:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (14:11):
We do know that.
We look at our wives and we'rejust like, God damn, I just wish
you'd mess up here and there.
Because when we're not doinggreat, you know, and and our job
is not super complicated.
You know, either one of us,really, you know, neither gender
is really super complicated.
I mean, there is someintricacies, obviously, but we
(14:31):
have to think about protection,we think about, you know,
provision, you know, we thinkabout certain things.
A lot of it we have to be taughtbecause every person's
different, right?
So what you require is going tobe different than what another
woman requires, right?
Based on the relationship andbased on your background.
But the basics, we should knowwhat they are.
And if we're missing any one ofthose three, you know, I would
like to think every man canprotect.
(14:53):
Not always, but I'd like tothink I'd like to think we think
that.
Without, you know, even thoughI've seen some some dudes be
ready to run.
But I'd like to think we'reready to step up, right?
An average decent person.
But the providing part, you cantry as hard as you want.
Sometimes it's not on youbecause life is life.
(15:14):
Yeah.
And things are happening.
And when that happens, your egotakes a punch to the gut.
And I don't understand men whohave a problem with their wives
stepping up to say, I got ustoo.
SPEAKER_00 (15:27):
This is what it is.
It's not that I think if I hadgot a job, it would have been
okay.
But you gotta realize, like inthe year that I first was doing
it, I made about fifty-somethingthousand.
He was still bringing money in.
You know, it wasn't a lot, butit was still like, okay, she's
doing better than me.
Right?
I think what happened for us isthat when I started really doing
(15:49):
it.
SPEAKER_08 (15:50):
You started making more fast.
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (15:52):
Like he'll deal, I was one of the fastest in the
company.
Yeah.
My third month in, I was thenumber two in that entire
company.
We got eight states.
So here in his mind, like, areyou kidding me?
This girl going fromstay-at-home mom to the third
month.
It was the amount of money forhim.
And let me tell you what I usedto do.
And that's why I had the toothmy own horn.
(16:14):
He didn't have any money.
I would send money to hisaccount, right?
So when he has the daughters, mygirls, they wouldn't have to
hear him asking me for anything.
SPEAKER_08 (16:27):
Man.
You get what I mean?
That's that's that's beautifulof you.
Yeah.
You know, that's wonderful ofyou because it's it's something
that a man would really, reallyappreciate because our pride is
so, so fragile.
Yeah.
Right?
And and then just you doing thatis really, really strong.
But at the same token, we are inour own heads.
(16:49):
And like, God damn, like this ishorrible.
SPEAKER_07 (16:53):
And then if we don't know a man, some men would uh
that would allow that to happen.
But a man But a real man isgonna struggle with it, right?
SPEAKER_08 (17:00):
And when we struggle with it, then sometimes if we're
not careful, we don't know whatto take that anger out on, and
then it comes back out on you.
SPEAKER_00 (17:08):
Yeah.
And I was like, Are you kiddingme?
I'm making this so easy.
You know, not easy.
I know it's rough for himbecause he's been a provid used
to being a provider and takingcare of everyone.
Well, then my daughterssometimes they would say, Why is
daddy not working?
What is that?
You know, they're young, theydon't know.
And I'm lying.
I say, you know what, daddy'smade so much money where he's
looking at a new project and hehas money saved, so that they're
(17:30):
like, Oh, okay.
You know, and they're back totheir little pigtails and run
around the house.
And because they're used to himmoving.
SPEAKER_08 (17:38):
So at that point, you're killing it, and what
happened?
SPEAKER_00 (17:40):
He's not working at that point, or he wasn't working
and he was being he was alreadya pain in the I'm just gonna
keep it real with you.
Now he he was a lot to dealwith.
Yeah.
And I told him from the jump inthe beginning, he's he asked me
a question.
If I was a garbage man, wouldyou deal with me?
I said absolutely not.
So you're too much work.
SPEAKER_08 (17:57):
Not because he's a garbage man, because he's too
much work or he's too much workto be a garbage man.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (18:02):
You're gonna be a garbage man, you gotta be nice.
You gotta be a layback, Bpersonality.
You're A-plus personality kindof dude.
You like things very particular.
You require a lot, so you'regonna have to give a lot.
I'm not dealing with you, agarbage man.
SPEAKER_07 (18:17):
Like you And I I'm sitting here thinking about how
she was when I got into thisbusiness, you know.
Your wife.
Yeah.
And in all transparency, when wefirst moved to Georgia,
transferred with ADT, wasn'tdoing as great out as I was
doing in Memphis.
You know, ADT here was a lotdifferent, you know.
So I'm like, I heard about thiscompany, so I got in touch with
(18:39):
the with uh my now currentdirector and we got into
insurance.
But during the building phase, Iwasn't making any money.
Right.
You know, my wife paid a lot,but she was accustomed to having
a lot, you know, because of ourlifestyle prior to this
business.
She had a lot of Louis Vuittonand Gucci bags.
(19:02):
That saved us because we wasable to consign some of that
stuff.
You know, so we got real storiesof how we did it together.
Yeah.
Like when I didn't have it, shepaid.
I I was paying the look beanother paying the cable bee.
unknown (19:17):
Exactly.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_07 (19:18):
I was paying the cable bee.
You know, I was but I was a man,I always had to do something,
you know, putting money in myaccount uh or giving me the card
up under the table when we'reout with friends and stuff.
You know, she did that.
SPEAKER_08 (19:30):
Yeah, you know, I've done that too.
It's like slip me the card, andI'm just like, it means the
world of you having to shit.
That was one time I had my card.
Yeah.
And like I'm I'm still good.
And but she was she was like,I'm gonna pay for it, but still
wouldn't hand me the card or letlet it be known that she was the
one paying for it.
SPEAKER_07 (19:47):
So right like to this day, like nothing that she
can act for, she won't get.
I'm serious.
Yeah, you know, get she can getit all.
SPEAKER_08 (19:54):
Yeah.
So continue with the story.
So you're doing well.
SPEAKER_00 (19:58):
Yeah, he's acting out.
He's acting out.
He was already acting out priorto this.
And to be honest with you guys,because I don't want anybody
thinking like, I don't do thatinsurance, I'll lose my husband.
SPEAKER_08 (20:11):
It's not insurance.
It's sales or sales.
Really, I should say it's notjust sales.
It's sales or anything thatwhere you're where you're kind
of self-employed.
Yeah.
Because then you have to wearmany hats.
You have to deal with all sortsof people.
SPEAKER_00 (20:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (20:24):
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (20:25):
So yeah, he was being difficult, and prior to
that, I I kind of felt like thisis going to end.
And my girlfriend's tease, theysay, oh, he knew, you know, baby
shot breastfeeding and genny,stay at home.
We knew the real genny.
We knew the genny he ain't gonnaput up with all of that stuff.
You know, so he didn't know thatpart of me, or I think he felt
(20:46):
like I was a person like, oh,she just wants she doesn't care
what's going on in the inside.
She cares how it looks on theoutside.
He was a handsome guy, goodlooking guy.
You know, we look good together,good looking family.
Um, but I like peace.
And I'm like, you're gonnaeither get it together, you're
gonna get out of here.
Cause I I don't do well withdrama, the turmoil and chaos and
(21:10):
coming home to you're gonna getchaos in the world.
I need to if I'm gonna be inhere acting right, you need to
be in here acting right.
Now everybody can have theirlittle moments, but you're
turning this into a war zone.
SPEAKER_02 (21:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (21:21):
And I'm not, I'm not this is not War of the Roses.
I don't know if y'all rememberthat movie.
SPEAKER_03 (21:25):
Yeah, yeah.
As a whole, Micah Douglas.
SPEAKER_00 (21:29):
Yes, exactly.
So I'm like, uh no, this is not,I need peace.
So, you know, you ask people togo to therapy, do different
things, and they won't do it.
And this is another comment Imade, and I'm and I tell people
this comment, I don't think thisis a big deal.
Did I say this?
But to everybody else, you know,I mean, from upper crust to
(21:51):
little hood girls uh in themiddle, they're like, oh,
they're like cluster of pearls.
SPEAKER_08 (21:56):
I can't wait to hear that.
What did you say?
SPEAKER_00 (21:58):
I told him, I said, this is me being nice.
I said, listen, this is what I'mgonna do.
Because I think he started, hestarted back working.
But it was just so much torment.
I said, listen, this is what Iwant you to do.
This is what we're gonna do.
You work, don't pay no bills,don't pay anything.
I said, save your money, and youtake that money and you leave.
SPEAKER_07 (22:20):
Oh, god damn.
SPEAKER_00 (22:24):
Because he was doing too much.
Oh my god damn.
I thought that was thatjennifer.
SPEAKER_02 (22:30):
I thought that was nice.
SPEAKER_08 (22:33):
I said, don't pay.
I thought it was be nice.
What's the problem?
Kick him in the nuts why down.
SPEAKER_00 (22:38):
I said don't pay any bills.
SPEAKER_08 (22:40):
Take your little money so you can have somewhere
to go.
So excuse is no longer I havenowhere to go, or we're gonna
split this house.
No, no.
Now that you have money, take itand go to this little, you know,
this little apartment orwhatever.
SPEAKER_00 (22:51):
No, he was making good money now.
SPEAKER_08 (22:53):
Yeah, but you wanted to save all of it so he could
leave.
SPEAKER_00 (22:56):
Because he was doing too much.
SPEAKER_08 (22:58):
Yeah.
Well, you know what?
I don't even think there'sanything wrong with the
statement because it's context.
It's context.
SPEAKER_00 (23:05):
Well, why did y'all do that?
Why did you respond?
SPEAKER_08 (23:07):
Because of the pride thing.
Okay.
Because of how how it comesacross to to me.
I'm still here.
I'm responsible for bills here.
I still live here.
I still contribute to myself andmy health.
Yeah, my wife.
Until that happens, you don'ttell me to take my little money
and save it.
SPEAKER_00 (23:24):
I didn't say little money.
SPEAKER_08 (23:25):
But that's not true.
SPEAKER_00 (23:26):
That's not hearing it.
SPEAKER_08 (23:29):
I heard that.
You heard it.
She didn't say it, but I heardit.
SPEAKER_00 (23:36):
But I was trying to make his life easier because I
didn't want him to feel like Igotta pay here and then I gotta
pay there.
SPEAKER_07 (23:44):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (23:44):
We're living in Johns Creek.
SPEAKER_07 (23:45):
You want to make it easy.
SPEAKER_00 (23:46):
I wasn't trying to make it easy.
So at this point, I wanted himreally to be real with you if I
can make it.
I wanted him gone.
SPEAKER_07 (23:52):
Yeah, that's what it was.
He was doing too much.
SPEAKER_00 (23:54):
He's ready to end, yeah.
Like, I'm stressed with you, I'mstressed with the kids, I'm
stressed with this new business.
Yeah.
People telling me no, beat it,kick rocks.
SPEAKER_02 (24:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (24:02):
They don't know that, you know, my background
and we used to a huge home andwe're, you know, how I live, and
I got somebody that I feel like,are you kidding me?
Don't only get me started.
And you telling me to kickrocks.
Yeah.
Like, I'm here to help you, andthis house is a mess.
And you know what I mean?
That's so I gotta deal with allthis newness of the business,
him not believing in me.
(24:23):
So I'm like, I need to eliminatestress.
And you are the cause of thisstress, and you are not trying
to fix it.
Right?
SPEAKER_02 (24:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (24:32):
So I'm just supposed to sit here and you're not
gonna, you know, so and in thebeginning I was like, okay,
let's just separate.
His family was talking to him,like, look, look, man, just give
Jenny some space and y'all willfix things.
But he knew me.
So deep down inside, he knew myface.
(24:53):
It's like, y'all not losingy'all wife.
I don't want to hear this shit.
You know, he was gone.
He was mad at the pastor, youknow, he was mad at everybody,
you know.
Oh, that pastor, and he'stelling me this.
Yeah, he got his wife.
I don't want to hear it.
I was like, oh my God.
SPEAKER_08 (25:09):
Yeah, you were done.
SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
I was done.
SPEAKER_08 (25:11):
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (25:13):
I was done.
SPEAKER_08 (25:14):
So other than the support that you weren't
getting, what's another exampleof because I know based on your
personality and everythingyou've said so far, it wasn't
money.
SPEAKER_00 (25:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (25:26):
You know, you could have survived that.
Yeah.
You know, you were willing tojust roll up your sleeves and go
to work and support the familyjust as well.
So it wasn't that.
Based on the fact that you woulddo things to make sure that he
didn't his pride wasn't hurtwhen you'd give him money.
What's another glaring thingthat he did where you were kind
of like, yeah, this is the day Iknew I was done?
SPEAKER_00 (25:46):
Yeah, so man.
You know, he I I felt he was Ithought he I felt and I knew he
would sabotage my business.
And what I mean by that, let'ssay we were all in a meeting, he
got so ridiculous to where Ifelt like he would come in and
just kill the whole thing.
(26:08):
Just erratic, just with hisvibe.
Not just no, his words.
SPEAKER_02 (26:13):
His words.
SPEAKER_00 (26:14):
Like if he could, he would just blow the whole thing
up because it wasn't his.
But it was my fault because Isaw the signs in the beginning.
We've been going through a lotof things in the beginning that
I noticed, like, why are wegetting an argument?
He breaking my stuff.
You don't break his stuff.
It'd be little stuff like that,you know, that we don't pay
attention to.
SPEAKER_08 (26:34):
Yeah, little signs.
SPEAKER_00 (26:35):
You breaking my stuff, but your stuff intact.
SPEAKER_08 (26:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (26:38):
You broke my little cup on my first trip with St.
Thomas Cup meant to me.
I like, why he broke my littlevacation, little island trip,
you know.
He broke it.
And I just remember that.
I was like, man, this guy's, youknow, he's a sabotager.
(27:00):
And then too, you gotta realizenow it's not just me.
You you would sabotage somethingdealing with my children.
And for me, the reason I alsowent in sales, especially when I
knew I wasn't going to be withhim.
And I said to myself, I will notstruggle.
I never struggle.
I don't care if I work two orthree jobs.
I never had a money problem inmy life.
(27:20):
Because I wouldn't allow myselfto have a money problem.
I would figure it out.
That's why I went so hard inthis business.
SPEAKER_07 (27:27):
She killed it.
SPEAKER_00 (27:28):
I was like, no, I like having stuff.
I like eating a steak dinner.
I like to travel.
I don't like not having.
SPEAKER_07 (27:35):
And the other thing that he's probably thinking
about today is that, I mean, hedidn't think you can do it for
one.
Yes.
And the fact that you did it,and not only did you do it, you
killed that shit.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Pushed him on.
Go on get you, go on put you,say your money.
Say your money so you can getthe fuck on.
And let me go ahead and build mycareer and build my build my
(27:55):
empire.
And he's probably thinking aboutthat too.
Oh, he talks about it a lot.
SPEAKER_00 (28:00):
He'll say, like, I knew money, I ain't know it was
money in that.
And yeah, he'll he willapologize.
I would give him that.
He's apologized several times.
I screwed it up.
I'm dealing with regret, guilt,all of that.
Like, I ruined the literally,like, I ruined the best thing
that happened to me.
Like, we could have beenphenomenal.
And I wasn't trying to push himout.
I invited him into business.
And he was like, Ike, you know,Tina Turner.
(28:23):
You know, he was on something, Iain't working for you.
You work for me.
You know, like, huh?
I ain't doing your damn man.
Yeah.
I was like, we're doing ittogether.
He was like, man, doing that.
And he's like, explain it to me.
SPEAKER_08 (28:37):
What type of sales was he in?
SPEAKER_00 (28:39):
He was, um, he had his own company, but he was
dealing with high state, likegetting people loans and to
where he would have investorscome in.
They were trying to sell aproduct, like somebody had a
patent and they were trying tosell it to the open market.
I see.
So he used to deal withattorneys and This was too
little for him.
SPEAKER_07 (28:56):
Yeah, this was way too little, three, four, five,
six thousand dollar polishes.
SPEAKER_00 (29:01):
Yeah, he wanted he wanted something big and he's
just too bougie.
I will he ghetto bougie.
Yeah.
Just being honest with you.
He's from New York.
He's by way of New York.
SPEAKER_07 (29:10):
So we're talking about uh what part?
What part?
SPEAKER_00 (29:14):
Um Brooklyn and somewhere else.
It was a bunch of places.
I can't because my dad's fromNew York, flatbush.
He just felt like, give me abreak.
Sometimes when people think sobig, it's just like, Jen, I'm
not dealing with that.
But then he seemed the money init, but he didn't want to do it.
So he wasn't supportive.
SPEAKER_08 (29:31):
You know, um one thing that comes to mind, and
I'll speak for myself.
You know, when you're reallygood at something, you have this
one thing, right?
So for example, I look at mywife, she's really good at a lot
of things, and I admire her forso many things.
But I'm like, you know what I'mreally good at where I can kick
your ass in all day long?
Sales.
What if she got in salestomorrow?
(29:53):
I'd be like, I got nothing left.
I know it wouldn't take it tothe extreme of making her life
miserable and sabotaging herbusiness at support.
But I think there's like alittle egotistical thing to
where you're still competingwith the person you're supposed
to be supporting and backing upto be like, well, this is the
one thing that I know how to dobetter than you, right?
To the point where if you wereto give him advice, let's say
(30:14):
you weren't in sales yet and youtry to give him, well, why don't
you try saying this?
Because you know, he would maybeventing and complaining about
something, like, well, maybe youshould try saying that.
Back of his head, he'd be like,that's that's really good.
But I'm not gonna admit that toher because all of a sudden
she's giving me advice about myjob, how to do my job, and she's
got better skill sets.
Um I think that played a role aswell where he felt like there
(30:34):
was something that he had thathe was great at, and then not
that you took it away, becauseyou didn't do anything wrong in
that sense, but it's like, man,even that.
SPEAKER_00 (30:43):
I think so, because that was the one thing that he
was he still I still think tothis day he's a I know he's a
better salesperson than me.
It's just an opportunity.
And if you're willing to humbleyourself and do it.
And there's a lot of people thatare better than us doing it, but
they want to be so high leveland I want to do that.
I don't sell annuities and yeah,it's only you African Americans,
(31:05):
so it's only three percent of usthat's earning six figures and
more, right?
So now you done brought yourselfdown to a smaller pocket, so
it's harder to close thosedeals.
But you know what it is like fora woman?
Probably for a man too.
When you start something, youknow what it why it hurts so bad
when you don't get support?
It's like your best friendhating on you.
SPEAKER_08 (31:26):
I think it affects women more than it affects men.
Yeah, it's like a I care less.
SPEAKER_00 (31:30):
It's a hater.
It's like you turn you a haternow?
You hating?
unknown (31:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (31:34):
You know, you're worse than somebody in the
street.
SPEAKER_07 (31:36):
It's definitely a w uh a woman deal.
SPEAKER_08 (31:37):
And yeah, does it make sense?
I mean, I don't need you tosabotage my situation, but if
you don't support in that sense,m we as men need support, but I
think it means a lot more to youthat we step into that role to
say we got your back, or how canwe help?
How can we make this easier?
I don't know if you're if I'mjust speaking for myself here,
Willie, but I don't expect thehelp, I guess, in a sense.
(31:58):
I don't expect the support.
This is my job, that's what Igotta go do, so I go do it.
When you jump into something,it's not just work, but you're
jumping into something whereyou're self-employed.
I need to be there for youbecause you're gonna have a lot
of shitty days.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (32:11):
It changes the dynamics in a lot of things for
me.
So I just wasn't expecting it.
So it was blindsided.
I was like, man, I supported himfor years, ups and downs, and
never got upset there for him.
So I thought he would have thesame trait.
Yeah.
But it was never tested.
SPEAKER_04 (32:27):
It now gets tested.
SPEAKER_00 (32:30):
And then it w it triggers something like I said
in me.
You don't realize that's a bigdeal for you until it shows up.
And then when it shows up,you're like, man, if you don't
fix this, you may not know thisis a big deal for me, but you
gotta fix this because I can'toperate like this.
I can't live like this.
SPEAKER_08 (32:47):
So when the seas are smooth, everybody's a great
captain.
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (32:52):
I like that.
SPEAKER_08 (32:54):
You find out who someone really is when she
holds.
SPEAKER_00 (33:02):
I'ma use that.
SPEAKER_08 (33:05):
Consider that stolen.
unknown (33:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (33:08):
So, you know, now you figure who someone really is
because there's there's dermaland there's issues.
Yeah.
He wasn't involved in business.
SPEAKER_00 (33:16):
He wasn't.
I felt he could have been anasset because in my brain, I was
gonna put him to work.
I was gonna make him go in thatfield.
Handle them.
I was gonna handle the books.
I know to this day he's a bettersalesperson than me.
SPEAKER_08 (33:29):
Yeah, you've said that twice.
So as a salesperson, I have toask, why do you say that?
SPEAKER_00 (33:33):
He's assertive.
He's a thinker.
SPEAKER_07 (33:36):
Most aquariuses that there are.
Sure, really.
Sure, really throw that in.
Most aquarius, man, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (33:44):
But and then he, you know, from New York, he can read
the room quicker than me.
He's been through a lot morelife situations.
So well, it took me time like tofigure out that this person's a
joke.
SPEAKER_07 (33:55):
Yeah, I already know.
SPEAKER_00 (33:56):
Dealing with that, you know, we're on to the next.
SPEAKER_07 (33:57):
But do you go into the means and he's quiet and he
sits back and he watches andobserves?
Yeah.
You know.
Yeah.
Not very upfront and friendlyand everything.
SPEAKER_00 (34:05):
Oh, and he said on me about that too, being so
friendly.
SPEAKER_07 (34:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (34:08):
You know, I was like, what are you smiling for?
He's smiling.
My dad told me he trusts peopleto smile all the time.
And I'm like, why can't I smile?
He's from New York too.
So I'm like, why can't I smile?
He's like, all that skinning andgrinning, I ain't got time for
all of that.
Just let like how Willie came inthe meeting.
SPEAKER_02 (34:20):
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (34:21):
I mean, you would have to get up close up on him
to like him.
SPEAKER_02 (34:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (34:25):
But if he came into a meeting, you'd think, oh,
who's this arrogant jerk?
You know?
You were right to think that.
SPEAKER_07 (34:31):
It is all the time.
It's crazy.
And you're everything but.
SPEAKER_04 (34:35):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (34:35):
Everything but.
And I always say when peoplereally get to know me, the the
people who really know me, theyreally, really like me.
Right.
You know, but I'm like an onion.
You got to peel me down.
You know?
And it takes a it takes a minutefor you to get there.
But once you in, yeah, I'mlocked, I'm loyal, I'm gonna
fight, we go do whatever we gotto do together to get to what
we're trying to get to.
(34:56):
Yeah.
But it takes a lot to get tothat point.
You got layers.
I got layers.
Like Shrek.
unknown (35:00):
Right.
SPEAKER_08 (35:01):
Yeah.
You could have picked a parfait,you know.
They have layers too.
SPEAKER_00 (35:06):
Exactly.
But I w I want to say somethingtoo, and I don't know if I don't
I'm gonna say it before I missit.
Now, what I do understand aboutmen, as women in in sales, you
learn more how men feel, though.
And what I mean by that is, youknow, when I was younger, he go
to meetings, and I couldprobably be a pain in the butt.
(35:28):
When are you coming home?
What you doing?
Why'd a meeting taking so long?
But when you're on the receivingend of that, nobody wants to
deal with that.
SPEAKER_07 (35:37):
Nobody wants to deal with that.
SPEAKER_00 (35:38):
And if women understood how aggravating that
was, I cannot.
The worst thing don't date meand ask me what I'm doing and
what I'm coming.
I just it's just so annoying.
SPEAKER_03 (35:49):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (35:49):
It's like, let me just work and and do what I need
to do and and come home.
SPEAKER_07 (35:54):
So I got look, I got you when I get there.
SPEAKER_00 (35:56):
I see you when I get there.
Yeah.
But when you get the calls oryou get the annoyance or someone
aggravating you are you in b orasking a lot of questions,
sometimes you get a littlemasculine in this business if
you don't watch it.
So when your mind is thinkingand doing, you're like, what?
What do you need?
You know, you d I wasn't as softas I as I was like, stay at home
(36:20):
mother, breastfeeding andcooking dinner.
SPEAKER_08 (36:23):
And that was your life for a little bit.
SPEAKER_00 (36:24):
That was my life, so now I gotta get it get in you.
Now I gotta start thinking.
I'm not him, but I still have tostart thinking so I can't be
aggravated.
Trevor Burrus, Jr.
SPEAKER_08 (36:34):
It's definitely one of those where to date someone
who's in that field, sales orbeing an entrepreneur, because
people quit their regular nineto five so they can go work for
themselves because they thinkthey're gonna work less
sometimes.
But it's the opposite, right?
You're gonna double the amountof hours you work because you're
never off.
But having someone in your lifewho doesn't understand that can
(36:56):
be a pain, mostly for them,because then they are gonna
struggle with figuring out whyyou can't make time for me or
why you can't be more, I guess,more regular, right?
It's that's just being regular.
You get off at this at thistime, you don't work the
weekends, you know.
And that's the that's not whathappens.
SPEAKER_07 (37:12):
And I'm gonna tell you something in my
relationship, it was kind oftotal the opposite.
My wife is really into the kidsand her job and you know,
providing, doing whatever shehad to do for the house.
Whole day I go by and she hadn'tcalled that.
You ain't worried about me.
SPEAKER_05 (37:30):
I know.
Like, hello, I'm here.
SPEAKER_07 (37:33):
I've been working all day.
I mean, I could have literallybeen anywhere.
But that so it worked for me.
Yeah.
Because once I got accustomed tookay, how she thinks, and you
know, because I I know that ifshe would have been calling me
throughout the day while I'mworking, I would have been
miserable.
SPEAKER_03 (37:47):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (37:47):
So after a while, I'm like, because I'm I was used
to women doing that.
So when she didn't do it, shewas like, hey, oh, I'm fine.
I'm I'm sitting here working.
Me and the kids, we're doingthis, we're doing that, and
we're doing that.
Okay, let me go, let me, let mego keep doing what I'm doing.
Well, shit, just check on thenigga.
unknown (38:04):
I know.
SPEAKER_07 (38:05):
We laugh about that all the time.
She allowed me to grow.
Uh, she never tried to changeanything that I did, never tried
to change who I was.
She just kind of embraced it andadded her value in wherever it
can it can fit.
So I know that I can call if Iwas having a bad day, we'll sit
there, we'll talk about it.
Hey, come back with three.
(38:26):
That's what she would say to me.
Hey, come back with three.
Don't come home unless you gotthree.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (38:30):
You know, but that's why you can survive in the
business.
It's a key thing with your wife.
SPEAKER_07 (38:34):
That's your family.
SPEAKER_00 (38:36):
A lot of men don't want to give credit to that
wife.
SPEAKER_07 (38:38):
Man, I give it to her now.
I didn't give it to her before.
I'm gonna be honest with you.
I didn't I didn't give it toher.
SPEAKER_00 (38:44):
You know, we hire people in, and I can tell
immediately if this guy'sprobably gonna make it or not.
If you meet the wife, either oneof two things.
If she don't want anything to dowith it, I'm like, mm-hmm, it's
probably not gonna work.
Or she wants to be too involvedand she's a negative influence.
Or she doesn't have some womencan't have their husbands do
(39:09):
this business and they don'thave a business state of mind.
I see it a lot.
It's like some, you know, youryour wife is, you know, good in
that area, but sometimes if aman is an entrepreneur and that
wife is too nine to five-ish,it's not gonna work.
It's gonna be just turmoilbecause she is like, like you
said, I don't understand why youcan't be here at five and why
(39:29):
you gotta work on the weekendand why you gotta have these
conference calls and I have toagree with the men in this area,
but you want all this stuff.
SPEAKER_02 (39:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (39:36):
You want a vacation all the time, you want nice
stuff, you want, you know, youlike clothes, you know, nice
restaurants, you like this home,or you want a bigger home.
He has to work.
He has to probably nine timesout of ten be out of this house.
So, but when they come in andthey're like, Oh, my wife
doesn't really want me to do it,and then they're a little weak.
(39:56):
I'm just being real.
Yeah, a lot of these men arenot.
That's the worst thing.
A lot of they weak.
And I'm like, so she's tellingyou what to do.
SPEAKER_02 (40:03):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (40:04):
And I can't get too involved because I'm like,
that's your wife.
I don't want to tell you whatyou but I already know, like,
you're not that tough.
unknown (40:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (40:11):
Or you don't really believe in it.
And she's dragging her feet.
And I'm like, this is gonna be amess.
But a lot of times the wealthierthe guy is, I already know he
had a good wife at home.
SPEAKER_07 (40:21):
It goes together.
One of the most importantdecisions that you can make is
who you marry.
Mm-hmm.
It can it can make you or it canit can break you.
And like I said, with mine, sheshe allowed me to grow and do
what I needed to do.
Like I said, when I came toinsurance, she didn't
necessarily really believe ininsurance or really knew
anything about it.
(40:42):
But she knew me.
She knew the grind.
She knew the hustle.
She knew that I was gonna makesomething happen.
In the morning, getting up, Ihad a uh mobile detailing
business.
That's actually how I missed thephone.
unknown (40:52):
Okay.
SPEAKER_08 (40:53):
Yeah, you pull up to the corporate office.
SPEAKER_07 (40:55):
Corporate office, I'm washing cars out there in
the parking lot.
You know, I was the kid that wasgoing through the neighborhood
with my dad's lawnmower, tryingto make my own money.
That has been me.
And we got history.
We've been knowing each otherfor a long time, me and my wife.
So she knew my family again, sheknew my pedigree.
So she didn't really have toworry about a whole lot of
stuff.
(41:15):
Because I'm gonna get out thereand I'm gonna work my ass off.
I'm gonna make some shit happen,but I'm also gonna have fun.
So she also knew that about me.
I work hard, but then I alsoplay hard.
So when I was playing hard andshe hadn't called me all day,
I'm like, man, this is I ain'tworking no more right now, but
you still ain't gonna call me.
SPEAKER_05 (41:35):
Okay.
All right, I'm coming.
All right, I see you by four inthe morning.
SPEAKER_07 (41:40):
You know, and then she got tired of that.
So a man would change for theright person.
SPEAKER_03 (41:46):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_07 (41:46):
I change, so now I'm a good boy.
I'm at home by 6:30, 7 o'clock,in bed by nine.
Unless you got a meeting at 10p.m.
SPEAKER_03 (41:54):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_07 (41:54):
But if she knows if I have to go out of town for a
week or two or three or fourdays, that's just what it is.
Yeah.
And then she was an entrepreneurtoo.
She had an event planningbusiness and stuff like that.
So she understood the grind workthat you have to have to go
through that.
That helped out a lot.
She's nine to five, and then shehad a successful business on the
side.
She understood it all.
SPEAKER_00 (42:13):
She understood that work ethic and what it took and
to not get you out the wrongheadspace.
Yeah.
So that's part why she didn'tcall either.
She's like, I know what ittakes.
Yeah.
But when you're dealing withpeople, you get a nine to five
and an entrepreneur to get it'sjust like they don't have any
even desire to be anentrepreneur or do anything
outside of the nine to five.
Right.
You gotta struggle.
SPEAKER_07 (42:32):
Yeah.
Big time.
SPEAKER_00 (42:32):
And we see it a lot.
You know, we see it a lot ofstruggles.
SPEAKER_07 (42:35):
I don't want you going out at night.
It's getting dark.
SPEAKER_00 (42:38):
Who is that?
Who's that?
Why are you calling so late?
SPEAKER_07 (42:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (42:44):
The person's on speaker phone.
For goodness sake.
You know, you have to deal dealwith a lot of that.
That's why I knew I can't Ican't deal with this.
SPEAKER_07 (42:51):
And making them feel secure in the business, you
know, like I like my wife seesJennifer.
She knows she's an attractivelady.
And so when she when Jennifercalled her, we're talking, I'm
on speaker.
SPEAKER_00 (43:01):
And then if his wife is they I talk to his wife.
Yeah.
Like Willie can leave the room.
We have a whole conversation.
Just talking about still thebusiness.
Yeah.
Because she also understands thebusiness.
Right.
You get what I mean?
She's heard him, and now she's abusinesswoman.
So a lot of things he's like,well, my wife can help with
this, she can help with that.
SPEAKER_08 (43:18):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (43:19):
But that's a good support system that allows him
to be able to do what he needsto do.
SPEAKER_08 (43:23):
So now that you're in the business, and I know
there's been an entire paradigmshift with you.
So now that you're here, what isyour view of men?
What is your view on men,rather?
And when you decide to date,you're going to funnel people
into certain places, intocertain spots.
You have a different outlooknow.
So who are you dating?
Who are you picking?
How do you assess the type ofmen you want to date?
(43:45):
And what will you stay awayfrom?
SPEAKER_00 (43:47):
Oh, that's tough.
Let me start.
Stay away from Aquarius.
Yes, let me say that again.
SPEAKER_03 (43:55):
So for me, I don't believe in that.
SPEAKER_00 (43:56):
End of January, February.
No.
Yeah, anywhere.
SPEAKER_07 (44:00):
This ain't gonna work.
We are not that bad.
SPEAKER_00 (44:04):
They start off good.
SPEAKER_08 (44:08):
No Aquarius man, got it.
SPEAKER_00 (44:10):
No, seriously, how are you men?
I've always, you know what, mybrothers told me this years ago.
They said, Jenny, you wantMartin Luther King, Malcolm X,
and somebody else all mixed inone.
It's like you're too picky.
So when I started dating my ex,he he had a lot of qualities.
He still does have a, you know,he had a lot of quality.
(44:31):
Good looking, know how to dress,making money, a giver.
So I'm like, this is gonna work.
My view of men, I think I'veprobably always been a little
tough on men, if I could just bequite honest.
Okay.
I want you to be tougher thanme.
So if I'm thinking a certainway, I think you should already
have that thought.
I should already have beenthere.
Do you know what I mean?
Like if I'm thinking aboutbusiness.
(44:52):
Okay, let me give you anexample.
SPEAKER_08 (44:54):
I should have already been thinking what
you're thinking.
SPEAKER_00 (44:56):
What I mean by that is if I'm thinking about the
future, my future, right?
Savings, retirement, how we'regonna live, your brain needs to
be already on that.
SPEAKER_08 (45:04):
Sure.
That I get.
SPEAKER_00 (45:05):
So if your brain is not there, no.
SPEAKER_08 (45:07):
So big picture things.
SPEAKER_00 (45:09):
Big picture things.
Are you a leader?
You know, can you lead me in anycapacity?
And I, you know, women have tobe honest with themselves.
And I'm very honest with myself.
Right, right.
I I'm gonna be real.
I like money.
SPEAKER_02 (45:21):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (45:22):
I like a provider.
That's what I like.
And some people want to, youknow, women want to skate around
that and make themselves feelbad and say, no, okay, well,
that's you.
SPEAKER_08 (45:31):
That's a hundred percent okay with me if that's
what you say up front, andthat's what it is.
Yeah.
And that's what I'm okay with.
Like that's what it is.
And and not in the sense towhere just like, well, I guess I
won't put words in your mouth.
So to what extent when you sayyou like money, you want to
provide her?
Because you're working, you'reproviding for yourself.
SPEAKER_00 (45:47):
But what I mean by that is I don't want to have a
money problem.
I don't need money to buy a lotof clothes.
And if I get used to, yeah, Idon't have to have fancy
restaurants, all that all thetime.
I like to cook.
SPEAKER_02 (45:58):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (45:58):
You know, but I do want the home provided for, and
then when I say I want totravel, I want to be able to go.
It's two two or three times ayear.
That's not a lot to me.
SPEAKER_02 (46:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (46:08):
But somebody who's tight, less an issue for them.
You get what I mean?
I want a man who's alwaysprogressing, who's always
growing, and who wants more inlife.
So that is more difficult forme.
If you're not gonna have that,I'm gonna be honest with you,
you're gonna be real nice.
When I say real nice, I mean youdarn the angel on earth.
SPEAKER_08 (46:28):
You won't you won't date that man, I tell you.
It doesn't matter how nice thatman is.
At this point in your life,you're not dating that man.
SPEAKER_00 (46:33):
I probably would.
Nah.
Or let me say this.
SPEAKER_08 (46:35):
Let's let's let's let's imagine whatever you be
real sweet.
Like be real nice.
Sorry.
I gotta call you on that one.
SPEAKER_00 (46:44):
You know, super sweet.
I know wow.
SPEAKER_08 (46:49):
Because you'll see him for what he is, and that's a
wonderful person, but I can't bethat person's partner, and that
can be my partner because we'reon two different paths.
The financial side of it, he'snot there, and you're not
willing to go struggle.
SPEAKER_00 (47:00):
I need the bills pay.
SPEAKER_08 (47:01):
Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (47:02):
You know, and a lot of women don't like to say, I
need the bills pay.
SPEAKER_08 (47:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (47:05):
These bills have got to get paid.
And by me being a stay-at-homemom for so many years, I don't
like paying my bills.
Even when I have it.
I'm gonna just be real with you.
I got it, but I don't likepaying them.
It's not fun.
SPEAKER_08 (47:17):
I'm gonna like them dude.
She's like, I I I I named everydollar and every time I parked
ways with a woman.
SPEAKER_00 (47:25):
And I'm like, let me tell you something like ex told
me.
You know what he told me?
He said, I ain't got no problemwith you.
I said, What do you mean?
He was like, You want too much.
He said, Jim, you don't likespending your own money.
And I thought about it.
I was like, Oh, God, I don't.
I am a giver, don't get mewrong.
And he would tell you this: like, I'm a giver. (47:41):
undefined
I buy you stuff, I want todating you, you're gonna get the
best of the best, because I likethe best of the best, right?
But I do not like thinking andpaying bills, even though I do
it and I do it well, I don'tlike spending my money on bills.
I don't like it.
I feel like a man.
Yeah.
And if women were being honest,that ain't fun.
(48:03):
Me taking my hard-earned moneyand nothing.
SPEAKER_05 (48:06):
And paying for these lights.
SPEAKER_00 (48:07):
And paying this bills, and paying as high as
cardinals.
Excuse my French, but you knowhow about the card and the tires
$1,800.
And I was like, somebody else isabout to pay this.
I'm not gonna do it.
Somebody else needs to pay thesebills.
SPEAKER_02 (48:21):
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_00 (48:22):
And then when a man is paying bills, you do shut up.
You let a lot of stuff slide.
When a man is paying bills, youyou kind of like, okay.
SPEAKER_02 (48:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (48:32):
I'm gonna be quiet.
And I'm not an in-your-face typeof woman anyway.
I'm just, you know, I'm nottrying, like, oh, she's so
perfect.
But I'm really not.
I like peace.
I'm not getting in you, right?
I'm not going toe to toe.
And because two, I raised withbrothers and they always tell
me, don't go toe to toe, no man.
I ain't saying I never did it.
It's a part of me just that'sjust who I am.
I'd rather ignore you.
SPEAKER_02 (48:53):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (48:53):
I'd rather just get quiet and let you cool off, and
you know what, just leave thehouse if you're gonna act up,
right?
But back to this money.
I do not like paying my ownbills.
SPEAKER_08 (49:04):
I don't like it.
Let's say you meet someone andyou talked about a man always
looking towards the future, aperson who wants to scale, a
person who wants to elevatethemselves, et cetera, right?
But what you're seeing iscurrently they are not there,
but they have all of the otherelements.
Super nice, super sweet, giving,caring.
They have the provider mindset.
(49:25):
They may not be able to yet, andthey're on their way to all
these different things.
They can definitely protect you,but that person financially is
not there, but you know thatkind of.
I would still date them.
You would.
SPEAKER_00 (49:35):
And you know what?
SPEAKER_08 (49:36):
They can't pay bills today.
SPEAKER_00 (49:37):
He can't.
But let me tell you why.
Let me tell you the biggestthing of everything that you
named is he wants to.
He has a desire to.
SPEAKER_08 (49:46):
Okay, so the reason I asked you that question that
way is because I think that'swhat a lot of women are missing.
Women want the man uh like themeal is already prepped.
It's 100% made.
And I'm not saying you need togo and complete that man, that's
not what anybody's looking for.
But if you can look past certainthings, not that you're lowing
your standards, but if you cansee everything for what it
(50:06):
really is, and you can kind ofsee what this person is working
towards, a lot of m women missout.
How many stories have we heardof people in general that were
passed up and someone's lookingat them like, oh man, I didn't
know they're gonna get on thisrise and just keep climbing.
I mean, think about it, bro.
Someone dumped Beyoncé one day.
SPEAKER_06 (50:25):
Yeah.
unknown (50:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (50:26):
There's an ex-boyfriend out there who
dumped her.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, and I'm not to say she'san L and all be all, but you
know what I mean.
As far as the world's looking,you know, this is a billionaire.
This is someone who's doinggreat for himself.
And there is someone who dumpedRobert Smith, CEO and one of the
richest billionaires in America,right?
SPEAKER_00 (50:45):
That's the fun for me, though.
Believe it or not, sincerely, Ilove my bills pay.
But let me say this I think itwould be more exciting for me
when someone is doing somethingand going for something.
Yeah.
Because it's like we in thistogether.
SPEAKER_05 (50:58):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (50:59):
That's the fun part.
SPEAKER_05 (51:00):
The building of it.
SPEAKER_00 (51:01):
The building of it.
And believing in a man and wegot this, and this is another
strategy.
SPEAKER_07 (51:07):
And honestly, that's what brought me and my wife
closer together.
Going through that together.
Yeah.
We didn't get to that pointuntil we actually got to Georgia
because we were forced toelevate ourselves.
Together.
And we elevated together.
So that made us more of apowerful couple.
Yeah.
You know, because we even speakthat to each other now.
Hey, hey, go get it, go kill it.
(51:28):
I know you go kill it.
No, this morning, hey, go killit.
It's beautiful.
Oh, I love that.
SPEAKER_00 (51:33):
That's fun.
I want that.
If he doesn't already have ittogether, that's what I like.
You know, like, okay, what doyou plan on doing?
Let's talk about that.
I'm a good, what do you need meto do?
You know, okay, this is this isa play.
What do I what do I need to run?
What do you what do you need meto be?
Do you need me to be in thisspace?
But I have to be used.
And that's what I think a lot ofmen don't understand.
(51:54):
When they find women or theyfeel like, well, she already got
this together and she alreadymaking so much money over here
and she's doing this and she'salready driving this and she
lives this kind of life.
And I still don't feel like, youknow, to us, we're living it.
We're like, oh, we need more, alot more.
Give me about that times four,right?
Right.
So they miss out the fact that agood quality woman wants to be
(52:16):
used in a good way.
You know, we want to be, youknow, put us to use.
What do you need me to prayabout?
What do you need to be having beon my face about doing
secretarial work?
We want to be used and be valuedin that way.
Right.
But a lot of men are like, shealready got together, she ain't
gonna listen, you know, shegonna do her own thing.
And it's like, no, you're justnot really used to good women.
SPEAKER_07 (52:37):
Right.
I mean like my wife, she's notvery visible with the business.
She doesn't come to anymeetings, she really don't come
to any events or anything likethat, but she is the backbone of
Nash Group Insurance Services.
So she makes the calls, she setsthe appointment sometimes, um,
she booked my flights, she setthe hotel arrangements up.
I don't have to do anything butjust show up.
(52:59):
So those type of things is kindof important to me.
I do like her, I want her tocome to certain things, but if
she can't make it, that ain'tthe end all be all.
Hey, if you make sure that I'muh laying down in a safe space,
you know, that works for me.
Yeah.
You know, don't put me on alittle track, you know, the
hotel on a little track.
You know what I like, put methere.
You know how where I like tosit.
(53:20):
When you uh book my flight, youknow I got to have this
particular seat.
Yeah.
You know, that means a lot moreto me.
You know, and she and she doesthat.
That's wonderful.
SPEAKER_00 (53:28):
It's needed.
We we want that role.
We sincerely as women, we wantto fill that space of a feminine
role for men.
You run into some bad apples.
I I run into the business.
Um even in my business, I'mlike, I can look at certain
women, I'm like, man, she is madaggressive.
She's mad masculine.
She doesn't realize it.
She's totally operating in hermasculinity, you know, and I can
(53:49):
see it because you have to selfyou can self-diagnose your own
self.
I can tell when I'm doing it orI've done it.
So it's a lot of work to be backto your natural state.
SPEAKER_04 (53:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (54:00):
But I can tell you that I I would love that.
I would love for a man to say,This is my idea, I want to work
towards this.
That's fun for me.
Even if he doesn't have it rightnow.
SPEAKER_08 (54:08):
Yeah.
So what is your advice then fora woman who is looking to date?
God knows, when I talk to a lotof women, they will tell you,
man, that pool out there is justfilthy.
There's just nothing in there.
Right?
I hear it all the time.
And maybe, again, I don't know.
Where are you looking to, right?
Because maybe you're behind acertain paywall.
Maybe there's other reasons whyyou're not talking to the right
(54:29):
people.
Maybe there's an education gap.
There's so many differentreasons that you are looking at
certain men.
Maybe you're attracting what youare.
We'll leave all that alone.
But when you but when you'retalking to when you're thinking
about dating a man, what is youradvice for them to not fall for
the yokey doke?
Well, girl, I got some plans.
Well, everything's broken, but Igot some plans.
(54:51):
I promise you get with me.
We'll we'll be straight in a fewyears.
Because you don't want the, youknow, I got daughters.
I don't want them to fall forthat nonsense either.
But social media has made it towhere the man's not making
forget six figures.
They don't even know what thatmeans after that time because
they've never made more than 30grand.
They don't even know what sixfigures is.
So, but they'll tell you, now Ihear uh specific numbers.
I've heard a woman say, someoneasked her, What's the least
(55:13):
amount of money a man needs tomake for you to date him?
She said 250.
Like, you need to make 250 todate you?
Like 175 or 185, 250, 300K.
You know, they just threw outsome crazy numbers because they
want to be in that space towhere they're being provided
for.
But uh a woman who's dating,who's looking to be with someone
It's hard for me to give youadvice.
SPEAKER_00 (55:33):
I don't have a man.
I'm not, you know, I wasmarried, but I'm not married
now.
SPEAKER_02 (55:37):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (55:37):
So and then too, I have to be honest with myself.
And women have to be honest withthemselves.
Are you really dating?
Are you sitting at home andyou're going to, you know,
you're doing your business andyou're coming home.
So I can't say these men arethat bad.
Because I'm not dating a lot.
I can't do a census and like,oh, girl, it's bad out there.
Oh, these men, it's crap.
I don't go on dates like that.
(55:58):
So I'm not in people's face.
I mean, sometimes I say, youknow, you should be dating, but
sometimes I get a little lazy inthat.
You get used to your rhythm, youknow, as women too.
And if I can be quite honestwith you, when you're in
business, I get a lot of myneeds filled from other men.
And I don't mean not as a sexualway.
SPEAKER_05 (56:23):
My mind went so far left.
SPEAKER_00 (56:27):
I I listen, I don't mean it not in a sexual way, but
in think about it.
This kind of mess you up too.
You get to deal with so manyprofessional men that I can get
my talk time in.
You get what I mean?
If I go to lunch or dinner, andthen I go to lunch and dinner,
and I laugh kiki, talk aboutbusiness, I go home.
SPEAKER_02 (56:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (56:46):
And I'll have to answer to anybody, you know what
I mean?
So that can get you caught uptoo, because you're getting that
particular need met.
SPEAKER_02 (56:54):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (56:55):
You get what I mean?
Because it's like, okay, I cantalk to this person, I can talk
to that man, and I can, oh, he'spowerful, and he's powerful in
this way, and then I do my thingwith the children, I hang out
with my girlfriends, and prettymuch fulfilled.
You're fulfilled.
SPEAKER_07 (57:09):
So you basically got a a man for everything.
That's what I'm hearing.
I got a man, you got a man forthis.
He I can talk to him about this.
Everything except then the otherman after 10 30 at 11 o'clock.
SPEAKER_08 (57:22):
That's one that's more of a mentor.
SPEAKER_00 (57:24):
Yeah.
Right.
You you get what I mean.
So we don't talk about thatenough until but I'm not really
out there.
So when I hear people like, oh,they're terrible, I'm like,
these men are not that bad.
I'm I'm gonna be honest with youtoo.
We're really, we're reallypicky.
And you gotta say to yourself,like you said, and women are
saying, I'm not, he's not, I'mnot gonna work with him.
How can you tell?
(57:44):
How can you tell if a man isreally about his business?
Watch his habits.
A man that is an early riser,what is he talking about?
You know, we trying to make thisall difficult to figure out if
he's full of crap or not.
He's gonna talk about what he'sdoing, right?
He's gonna move a certain way.
SPEAKER_03 (58:03):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (58:03):
He's not gonna be too available.
You can see that rather quickly.
It's like, okay, what are youdoing?
If he doesn't like to talk aboutit or he's not doing it.
If he's not an early riser andhe's getting up and he's pumped
and he's excited about talking,you you already know what you're
dealing with.
But for the most part, you know,with women, we do have to meet
men where they are, but yougotta, you know, detect what is
(58:24):
he about.
At the end of the day, when Isay, do I want my bills paid?
Do I like paying bills?
No, I I'm being honest.
I don't.
I don't like it.
SPEAKER_02 (58:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (58:32):
I mean, I like that I had the money to pay it, but I
don't like to be the one payingit.
SPEAKER_02 (58:36):
I'm just being, I'm just being serious.
SPEAKER_00 (58:39):
I don't like writing a check.
I like when he was writing thechecks.
SPEAKER_02 (58:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (58:41):
I like when uh I gotta go to Home Depot.
Just certain loops.
SPEAKER_08 (58:46):
That's when they know you're single.
When you pop over to Home Depotand you sing.
SPEAKER_00 (58:49):
I gotta be honest with you, when I go to Home
Depot, I'm in a bad mood.
I'm like, first of all, I didn'teven be in here.
I'm gonna tell the girls, callyour daddy and tell him.
I don't like being and I don'teven go in there that much, but
I don't like doing it.
I don't like paying for serviceguys in the house.
I don't like them flirting withme and charging me.
(59:10):
It's a lot of things in thisworld that you have to be
honest.
Some women don't care.
They're like, man, I get upthere and not paint it.
I you know, fix it.
I'm not that kind of woman.
SPEAKER_02 (59:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (59:19):
I'm just not her.
But even like I said, let's sayhe doesn't have a lot of money.
But he's doing all of that.
He knows how to paint.
He knows how to fix stuff.
SPEAKER_08 (59:27):
Yeah, I gotta work.
I gotta go to work.
You paint, you fix stuff.
I mean, yeah, even if it's notwhat you want, because I gotta
tell you, it feels so gratifyingto actually build something and
create something and do it withyour own hands.
I was never that guy.
I would rather go knock on amillion doors and sell all day
long and then pay someone tocome to the show.
SPEAKER_00 (59:46):
Well, I'm gonna be real with let me tell you the
cheat code.
If you don't make if guys, ifyou're not making a lot of
money, fix some shit.
Man, if you it is nothing like awoman seeing a man fix like he
doing that, he getting at that.
SPEAKER_08 (59:57):
I'm gonna go to Home Depot right after this guy.
SPEAKER_00 (01:00:01):
You take out one of the machines and like, man, I
don't know how you do it.
But but that is like such amasculine thing.
I don't even like for the men totell me you don't know.
How you don't know about thiscar?
You know, I grew up.
Like, you don't either you haveto be either or.
You're either gonna be a moneyman or you need to be a fix-it
(01:00:22):
man.
SPEAKER_07 (01:00:22):
Yeah.
But you can't.
You need to bring something tothe table.
You can't fail.
SPEAKER_00 (01:00:27):
You can't fail both.
Take my car, get a service.
I don't even want to hear aboutwhat's wrong with it.
I don't care.
Just drive.
SPEAKER_08 (01:00:33):
Get the details, get oil change.
You know.
SPEAKER_00 (01:00:36):
Whatever you need to do with this car.
SPEAKER_08 (01:00:37):
Put some oil in the tires.
SPEAKER_00 (01:00:39):
You already know all in the tires.
Let me tell you.
It's like that was the thingwith the separation.
I was like, I gotta do all thiscrap.
And I used to fill up the car,the gas.
I was like, oh, now I gotta goput gas in the car.
I mean little things that youdon't, you know, when people
women like, I can do this bymyself.
I'm like, you don't want to dothat, mess.
Now you do it and you adapt.
But as far as looking for menout here, you have to have money
(01:01:04):
or be able to pay bills.
When I say have money, that'srelative.
Because a man could make lessthan me.
But if he knows how to manage mmoney better than I do, and he's
an asset.
SPEAKER_02 (01:01:14):
Correct.
SPEAKER_00 (01:01:15):
Because to be honest with you, how can I say this
without sounding malechauvinistic and a woman liking
this?
SPEAKER_08 (01:01:22):
That's right.
SPEAKER_00 (01:01:23):
You need covering from a man.
You're gonna spend all thatmoney.
I really need somebody to comein and be like, nope.
You're not doing that.
We pulling back.
SPEAKER_02 (01:01:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (01:01:34):
And we this what we're doing with this money.
I may not like it, but I needit.
And I was raised with a father.
So I can lean into that.
You get what I mean?
Okay, this is what you say,dude.
We're gonna have to listen todaddy.
He's a man in the house.
If we listen to you, what do youneed me to do?
Okay, I'll do it.
Okay, okay, you the boss, right?
We need that cover.
SPEAKER_06 (01:01:55):
He's living with some regret, right?
Yeah, he's living with someregret.
I I can see it.
SPEAKER_00 (01:02:01):
You have to let a man lead.
unknown (01:02:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (01:02:02):
And we really want y'all to lead.
But even with earning money, westill know, like, I need some
covering.
I'm not dumb.
So I notice when the cover'staking off of you.
It's like see you laying in bedand you're cold and somebody
like, eh.
Wake up.
Like, I'm still chilly.
I got my sheet, but it ain'tnothing like that blanket.
(01:02:24):
The man is a blanket.
SPEAKER_08 (01:02:26):
That's a good way of putting it.
SPEAKER_00 (01:02:27):
He's a blanket.
SPEAKER_08 (01:02:28):
That's a good way.
Weighted blanket, too.
Yes.
Yeah.
I think that's a good spot toend it.
Any woman who goes out and theyhave to do something that's a
bit non-traditional when itcomes to work is going to be met
with some kind of obstacle.
And most often, unfortunately,that obstacle comes from their
own household.
And it's something that youshouldn't have to deal with, but
(01:02:48):
unfortunately you do.
SPEAKER_00 (01:02:51):
What can I leave with?
For one, the unexpected inbusiness.
And like you said, a lot of theturmoil is going to be inner,
it's not the outer world.
And also too, for women, get ina habit or just be self-aware of
your femininity during thisprocess.
To hold on to it, to lean intoit and to do your best to
(01:03:12):
monitor yourself, be veryprayerful in this process and do
things that are going to balanceyou in this business.
And the balancing is doingPilates, doing yoga, going for a
walk, taking art classes, notreading everything about
business, really relaxing.
So you can bring that balance tonot only your business and
yourself, but also to yourrelationship.
(01:03:36):
You know, just not knowing.
SPEAKER_08 (01:03:38):
Well said.
So earlier in the show, weflipped a coin.
No, we didn't.
But we're gonna ask you to readthe outro doing an impression.
Oh god.
Right?
And that impression was some oldschool.
SPEAKER_00 (01:03:51):
Some old man acting up.
SPEAKER_08 (01:03:52):
Go for it whenever you're ready.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (01:03:54):
Oh, this is harder because you put me on the spot.
SPEAKER_07 (01:03:57):
Uh-huh.
You fell like I fell.
SPEAKER_00 (01:04:01):
Look now.
Go ahead and leave it, you know,please support us now.
Follow the show.
Now you need to go on and leavea dang on five-star review on
this Apple Podcast.
Nah, I ain't playing with younow.
Just go on and do it.
I ain't got time for this.
I thank y'all for listening.
We're gonna catch you, uh, we'regonna catch you next week.
We just have some conversations,some real issues every single
day.
(01:04:21):
That's what we're gonna do everysingle day.
Manhill matters, man.
Manhood matters.
We out, we out.
SPEAKER_01 (01:04:27):
Yeah.
I was supportive of him when no one else was.
So I felt when I started mybusiness, he was going to be the
same way.
And he was absolutely terrible.
Right.
And I didn't realize aboutmyself, I require a lot of
support.
Because the way I was raised, Ididn't get it.
So it was a reminder of what youknow of what I was lacking I'm
(00:22):
like, here it shows up again.
SPEAKER_08 (00:24):
We don't know what you mean.
So in what sense should thathave shown up for you for it to
be something that's eithertangible that you could not help
but notice?
Support in the sense of We knowthat over 50% of marriages end
in divorce.
We know that people have two,three, or even four so-called
(00:44):
committed relationships beforechoosing the one.
We also know that other than thenon-negotiables, you know,
infidelity, abuse, etc.,sometimes relationships just end
because you don't have ablueprint and we don't know what
we don't know.
Most successful men will tellyou that they owe their success
(01:06):
to their wives, someone who wasjust there to support them and
have their back.
Can women say the same?
I don't have stats.
I'm merely observing that whenwomen start their journey as an
entrepreneur, it's often seen asa side project.
Do we as men, do we as theirpartner step in to be their
(01:27):
backbone?
Today I am joined by my boyWillie Nash of the Nash
Insurance Group, and we'rehaving a conversation with a
woman who has lived the veryexperience I was just
describing.
Jenny started her business tenyears ago and her marriage
ended.
Is it just correlation or isthere causation there?
(01:48):
Pay close attention to thisconversation, then email us your
thoughts atmanhoodmatterspodcast at
gmail.com.
We'd love to hear from you.
Welcome to Manhood Matters.
Let's get to it.
(02:22):
You work with a lot of men, anda lot of them are very
successful men.
And you're an attractive woman,I would imagine that would
create a problem.
Are you married?
SPEAKER_00 (02:32):
Not anymore, no.
SPEAKER_08 (02:33):
Okay.
So why don't we start there?
Because you almost it almoststarts like that.
Might have been the you know thestraw that broke the camel's
back.
SPEAKER_00 (02:41):
So Oh wow, that's so deep.
Yeah, I don't know.
But it is.
SPEAKER_08 (02:45):
Is it it really is so tell us about that.
I mean, uh a lot of men I theystruggle with having a
successful woman.
Um we are possessive creaturesin a sense, and um we'll need
our egos stroked and made tofeel better.
So I imagine you had a lot ofchallenges.
So it's start from wherever.
SPEAKER_00 (03:04):
Okay, I gotta give you a backdrop too, because when
I came in, I was a stay-at-homemom for a decade.
SPEAKER_08 (03:10):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (03:10):
So you go from being at home, being under your
husband, your children for 10years to now you're around men
and very successful men.
So it did, you know, of coursewe had issues before me getting
into the business, but it itreally escalated really fast
because I went from staying athome, you know, in my
whereabouts, to in the insurancebusiness.
(03:32):
Like Willie knows we could beanywhere.
You know, I'm not going into anoffice.
I'm going outside in my car allday.
All day.
You know, so when we I'mserious, when we first started,
when you want to be successful,you know, and in sales, you
gotta work all day long.
Because you don't know when yoursell is coming.
SPEAKER_03 (03:47):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (03:47):
And then you gotta work all day long too, because
even if the day is good,tomorrow may not be good.
Correct.
So you don't just come in ifyou're a good, you know,
salesperson.
So no, it was a lot of issues.
It was a lot of who is thisperson calling?
Why are they calling you solate?
Where you gotta go again.
And then you're training.
So I had to train with people intheir car.
(04:08):
I hope, I hope my ex is notlistening to that.
Then you have to train with men,because the male dominated
field.
That's who's good.
SPEAKER_03 (04:16):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (04:17):
So you're in a very controlled space.
And we don't talk about thatenough.
That car, you're in a car withsomeone, that is a very intimate
space.
It's a very intimate space.
It's enclosed.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (04:28):
And you get to talk about it's not all about work.
You talk about other things.
SPEAKER_00 (04:32):
You talk about everything.
Your complaints, everything.
And when people you saidintimate, it's not like you got
RB playing and you're trying toset a move.
SPEAKER_08 (04:40):
There ain't no end of the road playing.
And a red light special goingon.
SPEAKER_00 (04:44):
But it is still a very closed-in, intimate space,
like you said.
SPEAKER_02 (04:49):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (04:49):
So then God forbid, if you are working with someone
that's attractive, you know, andhe's about his business, that's
an issue.
And a lot of times for me, youknow, we're talkative with
women, we're not trying to doanything or say anything out of
the way, but who do you talkabout?
I went from talking about mychildren and him all day to now
I'm talking about business.
And the business is not just theclients, the business is also
(05:12):
too now your quote unquotebusiness partner or, you know,
and they go Google them, youknow, on social media, and
they're like, who's this guy?
Gotta look like me.
SPEAKER_08 (05:22):
You gotta type.
SPEAKER_00 (05:24):
I'm like, I didn't pick him, they told me to go in
the car with the guy, you know,trading.
You know, he's gotta look likeme.
He's from Florida.
Oh my God.
You know, like, yeah, it's okay,you know, nothing's going on,
but it's rough.
SPEAKER_08 (05:37):
Why did you decide to go into business in the first
place?
You're a stay-at-home mum.
Sometimes that's a decision, andsometimes there's no choice.
You have to go back in the fieldbecause you need two incomes
now.
What was your main reason?
SPEAKER_00 (05:50):
It was we needed two incomes.
He was in sales as well.
Okay.
So we've been doing good.
You know, sales, you high.
SPEAKER_07 (05:55):
You're a little high.
You're low, you're middle.
It's good when it's good.
It's amazing.
And it's bad when it's bad.
Exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (06:00):
And and I my stomach didn't like the falls.
SPEAKER_07 (06:03):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (06:04):
I said, you know what?
You know, I have a degree, I cando this.
And I really hated working forpeople.
Like I've had jobs, but I feltlike something wrong with me.
I don't like working for people.
And on my dad's side, they'reall entrepreneurs.
So it made sense, like, okay,now I don't like people telling
me when to go to work, when tobe there, and when to take a
lunch a break.
(06:24):
That was not my style.
I hated it.
Absolutely hated it.
And I was like, ah, thiscubicle, you know, why are you
not in your seat?
Why everybody at your cubicle?
And you asked them what it is.
I'm just sitting down.
So I've always talked a lot, youknow, very personable.
But the reason why, I knew I didnot want to be confined to a
schedule.
(06:45):
And I wanted my life to havepurpose.
I wanted to help people, and Iwanted to make a lot of money.
Before I was a personal trainer,I prayed to God, let me help
people, but I made a little bitof money.
So I said, I gotta be verydetailed with God.
Okay.
I said, God, okay, for real.
This time, I want to help peopleand I want to make some money
doing it.
(07:05):
And I know I need to do itquickly.
So I'm you used to call meGoogle Queen.
I Googled insurance business.
I Googled how much commission,how they get paid in advance.
I said I can help people to killtwo birds with one stone.
I'm gonna do this business.
And then, you know, my daughterswere still young.
I think one at the time was um,you know, I'm breastfed my
(07:25):
children kind of late.
So she was still kind ofbreastfeeding a little bit when
I was taking the tests and doingall that.
So I said, allow me to still behome with the kids and not
confined to a schedule.
So that's why I chose theindustry.
SPEAKER_02 (07:37):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:38):
I didn't know about, I wasn't thinking about I'm
gonna be around men with money,with cars, with influence.
My brain was like, let me signy'all up and get, you know, some
policies off you.
And as a matter of fact, thefirst year I got in, it was I
was only signing up familymembers and friends.
I was just aggressive about it.
I mean, I probably did about55,000 in my first year
(08:01):
part-time, just calling people.
If you say you knew somebody, Ididn't say, hey y'all, I just
got a policy.
I mean insurance.
Let me know.
No, I was like, let me talk tothem now.
Put them on three-way, let meget a number.
You know, I was aggressive inthat approach.
SPEAKER_02 (08:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (08:15):
And then I ran out of people.
I found a gentleman online.
He was very successful, and Iinstantly messaged him, hey, can
you help me?
And the rest was history.
He gave me a number to ourleader, called him, and I went
to work.
SPEAKER_02 (08:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (08:29):
And I went to work and I just married.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02 (08:33):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (08:33):
But it was still it was it was rough.
SPEAKER_02 (08:35):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (08:36):
And it was rough.
You know, he was, God, I'm nottrying to talk about this man
and the you know, because weactually we just talked
yesterday and I got some of hisrecipes for these.
We're friends now.
Yeah, too.
I went through a very roughdash.
unknown (08:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (08:51):
Even anybody.
Yeah, but he was like, You'renot doing them talking about.
SPEAKER_07 (08:56):
Yeah, we don't know who you're talking about.
Yeah.
We don't know him.
We'll call him Fred.
SPEAKER_00 (09:00):
Yes.
So, you know, I supported him somuch in his business, and you
know, I know everybody thinksthey're a good wife, but I I'm
I'm being for real.
I'm a phenomenal wife.
SPEAKER_08 (09:10):
Toot your own home.
So give me, give me two or threethings that qualified you as a
phenomenal wife.
SPEAKER_00 (09:16):
Very supportive.
SPEAKER_08 (09:17):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (09:18):
Very loving.
I kept myself together, kept thechildren together, educated.
You know, I cooked, cleaned,didn't nag him about what's
going on with your business,what's up with this money?
You need to get a job.
Like most women do.
I let him do his career and Ididn't nag him.
Prayed for him.
You know, he required a lot ofprayer.
I'm just being real.
(09:38):
Some people come from certainparts, you know, they're dealing
with a lot of struggle.
SPEAKER_02 (09:41):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (09:42):
So even when women say, I want to get married, I
want to get married, I'm like,you have no idea.
It's not what you see online.
You're not a prayer warrior,don't think about marriage.
SPEAKER_02 (09:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (09:52):
Just don't do it.
But he he will tell you to thisday, he's he, of course, you
know, hey, I screwed that thingall the way up, but I was
supportive of him when no oneelse was.
So I felt when I started mylittle business, he was gonna be
the same way.
And he was absolutely terrible.
SPEAKER_02 (10:13):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (10:14):
And I didn't realize about myself, I require a lot of
support.
Because the way I was raised, Ididn't get it.
So it was a reminder of what youknow of what I was lacking I'm
like, here it shows up again.
You know, I felt I should havehad more support.
SPEAKER_08 (10:31):
In what way should that support have because I will
tell you that men are dense inthe sense that we don't know
what you mean.
So in what sense should thathave shown up for you for it to
be something that's eithertangible that you could not help
but notice?
SPEAKER_00 (10:46):
Um, one don't aggravate me.
If I'm working, don't what Imean is, and I'm I'm gonna go
back to that, but for one,support in the sense of happy
for me that I got a sale today.
You know, happy for me that Iclosed that deal.
(11:07):
Um happy for me that you see megrowing and I'm you know, I was
always a reader, but I'm readingmore, I'm listening to, you
know, more audible and I'mtaking something on as a sales.
Because he's always telling me,Jenny, please just let me take
care of you and you you spend mymoney, but you salesperson, give
me a break.
You just you're not cut fromthat cloth.
(11:29):
You're not you don't have thatdog in you.
You know what I mean?
SPEAKER_08 (11:31):
And I have to jump in because salespeople are not
born, they're made.
SPEAKER_06 (11:35):
That's right.
SPEAKER_08 (11:35):
And I can tell you with absolute certainty as
someone who's been successful insales and continue to I I brag
about this, I can take anylittle shithead and make them
into a sales monster.
So that's not something you sayto people.
SPEAKER_07 (11:49):
No lie.
SPEAKER_08 (11:49):
That's not still time to make it.
SPEAKER_00 (11:56):
So he said that, but I didn't come when I say I was
aggressive, I couldn't sell thebusiness like a man.
I mean, I get used my smile, myfemininity, you know, and I'm
more of a consultant here, but Idon't stop.
So I wasn't doing sales the wayhe thought it should have been
done.
But I was still very successful.
(12:17):
So he wasn't supportive in thefact of you can do it, and he
was sabotaging things.
He was make making me moremiserable, arguing about things
that he would normally never notargue about.
SPEAKER_07 (12:31):
You need to pick the kids up.
SPEAKER_00 (12:33):
He was doing all that.
He had he had the girls one timeand he left his expensive
glasses somewhere in the mall.
And he just hit the roof.
And I was like, listen, you leftthe glasses at perimeter, come
on.
I guarantee you somebody putthem up.
No, no, he just went off.
Show up, they have the glasses.
You know, but it was littlethings.
I was like, I can't work likethis.
(12:55):
I'm already dealing withsomething new.
It's a shift for me because Ilove being at home with my
children.
But it was a direct correlationfrom him that I can't provide
for her anymore.
SPEAKER_08 (13:05):
What do you think was the bigger threat?
Well, you think that itself wasthe bigger threat, or do you
think that it was a bit ofjealousy in terms of who you're
going to be around?
SPEAKER_00 (13:14):
Both.
SPEAKER_08 (13:15):
Okay.
So equally.
SPEAKER_07 (13:16):
A man wanna feel needed.
So when you're taking that fromhim, so that was some of his
resistance too.
SPEAKER_00 (13:23):
But what are we supposed to do?
Starve to death?
I was going to see thateverything.
unknown (13:27):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (13:27):
Like if you don't have anything.
Because some women will sitthere.
I have seen women sit there andlet the ship sink.
SPEAKER_08 (13:33):
I have had women sit there and let the shit sink.
SPEAKER_00 (13:36):
You know, and I'm like, do something already.
He he's just going through alittle thing, and I promise you
guys when I say he he wentthrough certain things, but he
will tell you I never was like,oh my God, give me a break.
You the one supposed to beproviding.
I'm the one this, I'm doing myjob.
Staying home with the kids,cooking, cleaning, keeping
myself together, right?
(13:56):
Being who I am.
And I think that even made himmore upset because it was like,
I don't have anything on her.
You know, like she's doingeverything she's supposed to do.
SPEAKER_08 (14:08):
And the reality is we do know that.
SPEAKER_00 (14:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (14:11):
We do know that.
We look at our wives and we'rejust like, God damn, I just wish
you'd mess up here and there.
Because when we're not doinggreat, you know, and and our job
is not super complicated.
You know, either one of us,really, you know, neither gender
is really super complicated.
I mean, there is someintricacies, obviously, but we
(14:31):
have to think about protection,we think about, you know,
provision, you know, we thinkabout certain things.
A lot of it we have to be taughtbecause every person's
different, right?
So what you require is going tobe different than what another
woman requires, right?
Based on the relationship andbased on your background.
But the basics, we should knowwhat they are.
And if we're missing any one ofthose three, you know, I would
like to think every man canprotect.
(14:53):
Not always, but I'd like tothink I'd like to think we think
that.
Without, you know, even thoughI've seen some some dudes be
ready to run.
But I'd like to think we'reready to step up, right?
An average decent person.
But the providing part, you cantry as hard as you want.
Sometimes it's not on youbecause life is life.
(15:14):
Yeah.
And things are happening.
And when that happens, your egotakes a punch to the gut.
And I don't understand men whohave a problem with their wives
stepping up to say, I got ustoo.
SPEAKER_00 (15:27):
This is what it is.
It's not that I think if I hadgot a job, it would have been
okay.
But you gotta realize, like inthe year that I first was doing
it, I made about fifty-somethingthousand.
He was still bringing money in.
You know, it wasn't a lot, butit was still like, okay, she's
doing better than me.
Right?
I think what happened for us isthat when I started really doing
(15:49):
it.
SPEAKER_08 (15:50):
You started making more fast.
Wow.
SPEAKER_00 (15:52):
Like he'll deal, I was one of the fastest in the
company.
Yeah.
My third month in, I was thenumber two in that entire
company.
We got eight states.
So here in his mind, like, areyou kidding me?
This girl going fromstay-at-home mom to the third
month.
It was the amount of money forhim.
And let me tell you what I usedto do.
And that's why I had the toothmy own horn.
(16:14):
He didn't have any money.
I would send money to hisaccount, right?
So when he has the daughters, mygirls, they wouldn't have to
hear him asking me for anything.
SPEAKER_08 (16:27):
Man.
You get what I mean?
That's that's that's beautifulof you.
Yeah.
You know, that's wonderful ofyou because it's it's something
that a man would really, reallyappreciate because our pride is
so, so fragile.
Yeah.
Right?
And and then just you doing thatis really, really strong.
But at the same token, we are inour own heads.
(16:49):
And like, God damn, like this ishorrible.
SPEAKER_07 (16:53):
And then if we don't know a man, some men would uh
that would allow that to happen.
But a man But a real man isgonna struggle with it, right?
SPEAKER_08 (17:00):
And when we struggle with it, then sometimes if we're
not careful, we don't know whatto take that anger out on, and
then it comes back out on you.
SPEAKER_00 (17:08):
Yeah.
And I was like, Are you kiddingme?
I'm making this so easy.
You know, not easy.
I know it's rough for himbecause he's been a provid used
to being a provider and takingcare of everyone.
Well, then my daughterssometimes they would say, Why is
daddy not working?
What is that?
You know, they're young, theydon't know.
And I'm lying.
I say, you know what, daddy'smade so much money where he's
looking at a new project and hehas money saved, so that they're
(17:30):
like, Oh, okay.
You know, and they're back totheir little pigtails and run
around the house.
And because they're used to himmoving.
SPEAKER_08 (17:38):
So at that point, you're killing it, and what
happened?
SPEAKER_00 (17:40):
He's not working at that point, or he wasn't working
and he was being he was alreadya pain in the I'm just gonna
keep it real with you.
Now he he was a lot to dealwith.
Yeah.
And I told him from the jump inthe beginning, he's he asked me
a question.
If I was a garbage man, wouldyou deal with me?
I said absolutely not.
So you're too much work.
SPEAKER_08 (17:57):
Not because he's a garbage man, because he's too
much work or he's too much workto be a garbage man.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (18:02):
You're gonna be a garbage man, you gotta be nice.
You gotta be a layback, Bpersonality.
You're A-plus personality kindof dude.
You like things very particular.
You require a lot, so you'regonna have to give a lot.
I'm not dealing with you, agarbage man.
SPEAKER_07 (18:17):
Like you And I I'm sitting here thinking about how
she was when I got into thisbusiness, you know.
Your wife.
Yeah.
And in all transparency, when wefirst moved to Georgia,
transferred with ADT, wasn'tdoing as great out as I was
doing in Memphis.
You know, ADT here was a lotdifferent, you know.
So I'm like, I heard about thiscompany, so I got in touch with
(18:39):
the with uh my now currentdirector and we got into
insurance.
But during the building phase, Iwasn't making any money.
Right.
You know, my wife paid a lot,but she was accustomed to having
a lot, you know, because of ourlifestyle prior to this
business.
She had a lot of Louis Vuittonand Gucci bags.
(19:02):
That saved us because we wasable to consign some of that
stuff.
You know, so we got real storiesof how we did it together.
Yeah.
Like when I didn't have it, shepaid.
I I was paying the look beanother paying the cable bee.
unknown (19:17):
Exactly.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_07 (19:18):
I was paying the cable bee.
You know, I was but I was a man,I always had to do something,
you know, putting money in myaccount uh or giving me the card
up under the table when we'reout with friends and stuff.
You know, she did that.
SPEAKER_08 (19:30):
Yeah, you know, I've done that too.
It's like slip me the card, andI'm just like, it means the
world of you having to shit.
That was one time I had my card.
Yeah.
And like I'm I'm still good.
And but she was she was like,I'm gonna pay for it, but still
wouldn't hand me the card or letlet it be known that she was the
one paying for it.
SPEAKER_07 (19:47):
So right like to this day, like nothing that she
can act for, she won't get.
I'm serious.
Yeah, you know, get she can getit all.
SPEAKER_08 (19:54):
Yeah.
So continue with the story.
So you're doing well.
SPEAKER_00 (19:58):
Yeah, he's acting out.
He's acting out.
He was already acting out priorto this.
And to be honest with you guys,because I don't want anybody
thinking like, I don't do thatinsurance, I'll lose my husband.
SPEAKER_08 (20:11):
It's not insurance.
It's sales or sales.
Really, I should say it's notjust sales.
It's sales or anything thatwhere you're where you're kind
of self-employed.
Yeah.
Because then you have to wearmany hats.
You have to deal with all sortsof people.
SPEAKER_00 (20:24):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (20:24):
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (20:25):
So yeah, he was being difficult, and prior to
that, I I kind of felt like thisis going to end.
And my girlfriend's tease, theysay, oh, he knew, you know, baby
shot breastfeeding and genny,stay at home.
We knew the real genny.
We knew the genny he ain't gonnaput up with all of that stuff.
You know, so he didn't know thatpart of me, or I think he felt
(20:46):
like I was a person like, oh,she just wants she doesn't care
what's going on in the inside.
She cares how it looks on theoutside.
He was a handsome guy, goodlooking guy.
You know, we look good together,good looking family.
Um, but I like peace.
And I'm like, you're gonnaeither get it together, you're
gonna get out of here.
Cause I I don't do well withdrama, the turmoil and chaos and
(21:10):
coming home to you're gonna getchaos in the world.
I need to if I'm gonna be inhere acting right, you need to
be in here acting right.
Now everybody can have theirlittle moments, but you're
turning this into a war zone.
SPEAKER_02 (21:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (21:21):
And I'm not, I'm not this is not War of the Roses.
I don't know if y'all rememberthat movie.
SPEAKER_03 (21:25):
Yeah, yeah.
As a whole, Micah Douglas.
SPEAKER_00 (21:29):
Yes, exactly.
So I'm like, uh no, this is not,I need peace.
So, you know, you ask people togo to therapy, do different
things, and they won't do it.
And this is another comment Imade, and I'm and I tell people
this comment, I don't think thisis a big deal.
Did I say this?
But to everybody else, you know,I mean, from upper crust to
(21:51):
little hood girls uh in themiddle, they're like, oh,
they're like cluster of pearls.
SPEAKER_08 (21:56):
I can't wait to hear that.
What did you say?
SPEAKER_00 (21:58):
I told him, I said, this is me being nice.
I said, listen, this is what I'mgonna do.
Because I think he started, hestarted back working.
But it was just so much torment.
I said, listen, this is what Iwant you to do.
This is what we're gonna do.
You work, don't pay no bills,don't pay anything.
I said, save your money, and youtake that money and you leave.
SPEAKER_07 (22:20):
Oh, god damn.
SPEAKER_00 (22:24):
Because he was doing too much.
Oh my god damn.
I thought that was thatjennifer.
SPEAKER_02 (22:30):
I thought that was nice.
SPEAKER_08 (22:33):
I said, don't pay.
I thought it was be nice.
What's the problem?
Kick him in the nuts why down.
SPEAKER_00 (22:38):
I said don't pay any bills.
SPEAKER_08 (22:40):
Take your little money so you can have somewhere
to go.
So excuse is no longer I havenowhere to go, or we're gonna
split this house.
No, no.
Now that you have money, take itand go to this little, you know,
this little apartment orwhatever.
SPEAKER_00 (22:51):
No, he was making good money now.
SPEAKER_08 (22:53):
Yeah, but you wanted to save all of it so he could
leave.
SPEAKER_00 (22:56):
Because he was doing too much.
SPEAKER_08 (22:58):
Yeah.
Well, you know what?
I don't even think there'sanything wrong with the
statement because it's context.
It's context.
SPEAKER_00 (23:05):
Well, why did y'all do that?
Why did you respond?
SPEAKER_08 (23:07):
Because of the pride thing.
Okay.
Because of how how it comesacross to to me.
I'm still here.
I'm responsible for bills here.
I still live here.
I still contribute to myself andmy health.
Yeah, my wife.
Until that happens, you don'ttell me to take my little money
and save it.
SPEAKER_00 (23:24):
I didn't say little money.
SPEAKER_08 (23:25):
But that's not true.
SPEAKER_00 (23:26):
That's not hearing it.
SPEAKER_08 (23:29):
I heard that.
You heard it.
She didn't say it, but I heardit.
SPEAKER_00 (23:36):
But I was trying to make his life easier because I
didn't want him to feel like Igotta pay here and then I gotta
pay there.
SPEAKER_07 (23:44):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (23:44):
We're living in Johns Creek.
SPEAKER_07 (23:45):
You want to make it easy.
SPEAKER_00 (23:46):
I wasn't trying to make it easy.
So at this point, I wanted himreally to be real with you if I
can make it.
I wanted him gone.
SPEAKER_07 (23:52):
Yeah, that's what it was.
He was doing too much.
SPEAKER_00 (23:54):
He's ready to end, yeah.
Like, I'm stressed with you, I'mstressed with the kids, I'm
stressed with this new business.
Yeah.
People telling me no, beat it,kick rocks.
SPEAKER_02 (24:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (24:02):
They don't know that, you know, my background
and we used to a huge home andwe're, you know, how I live, and
I got somebody that I feel like,are you kidding me?
Don't only get me started.
And you telling me to kickrocks.
Yeah.
Like, I'm here to help you, andthis house is a mess.
And you know what I mean?
That's so I gotta deal with allthis newness of the business,
him not believing in me.
(24:23):
So I'm like, I need to eliminatestress.
And you are the cause of thisstress, and you are not trying
to fix it.
Right?
SPEAKER_02 (24:31):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (24:32):
So I'm just supposed to sit here and you're not
gonna, you know, so and in thebeginning I was like, okay,
let's just separate.
His family was talking to him,like, look, look, man, just give
Jenny some space and y'all willfix things.
But he knew me.
So deep down inside, he knew myface.
(24:53):
It's like, y'all not losingy'all wife.
I don't want to hear this shit.
You know, he was gone.
He was mad at the pastor, youknow, he was mad at everybody,
you know.
Oh, that pastor, and he'stelling me this.
Yeah, he got his wife.
I don't want to hear it.
I was like, oh my God.
SPEAKER_08 (25:09):
Yeah, you were done.
SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
I was done.
SPEAKER_08 (25:11):
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (25:13):
I was done.
SPEAKER_08 (25:14):
So other than the support that you weren't
getting, what's another exampleof because I know based on your
personality and everythingyou've said so far, it wasn't
money.
SPEAKER_00 (25:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (25:26):
You know, you could have survived that.
Yeah.
You know, you were willing tojust roll up your sleeves and go
to work and support the familyjust as well.
So it wasn't that.
Based on the fact that you woulddo things to make sure that he
didn't his pride wasn't hurtwhen you'd give him money.
What's another glaring thingthat he did where you were kind
of like, yeah, this is the day Iknew I was done?
SPEAKER_00 (25:46):
Yeah, so man.
You know, he I I felt he was Ithought he I felt and I knew he
would sabotage my business.
And what I mean by that, let'ssay we were all in a meeting, he
got so ridiculous to where Ifelt like he would come in and
just kill the whole thing.
(26:08):
Just erratic, just with hisvibe.
Not just no, his words.
SPEAKER_02 (26:13):
His words.
SPEAKER_00 (26:14):
Like if he could, he would just blow the whole thing
up because it wasn't his.
But it was my fault because Isaw the signs in the beginning.
We've been going through a lotof things in the beginning that
I noticed, like, why are wegetting an argument?
He breaking my stuff.
You don't break his stuff.
It'd be little stuff like that,you know, that we don't pay
attention to.
SPEAKER_08 (26:34):
Yeah, little signs.
SPEAKER_00 (26:35):
You breaking my stuff, but your stuff intact.
SPEAKER_08 (26:38):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (26:38):
You broke my little cup on my first trip with St.
Thomas Cup meant to me.
I like, why he broke my littlevacation, little island trip,
you know.
He broke it.
And I just remember that.
I was like, man, this guy's, youknow, he's a sabotager.
(27:00):
And then too, you gotta realizenow it's not just me.
You you would sabotage somethingdealing with my children.
And for me, the reason I alsowent in sales, especially when I
knew I wasn't going to be withhim.
And I said to myself, I will notstruggle.
I never struggle.
I don't care if I work two orthree jobs.
I never had a money problem inmy life.
(27:20):
Because I wouldn't allow myselfto have a money problem.
I would figure it out.
That's why I went so hard inthis business.
SPEAKER_07 (27:27):
She killed it.
SPEAKER_00 (27:28):
I was like, no, I like having stuff.
I like eating a steak dinner.
I like to travel.
I don't like not having.
SPEAKER_07 (27:35):
And the other thing that he's probably thinking
about today is that, I mean, hedidn't think you can do it for
one.
Yes.
And the fact that you did it,and not only did you do it, you
killed that shit.
Yeah.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Pushed him on.
Go on get you, go on put you,say your money.
Say your money so you can getthe fuck on.
And let me go ahead and build mycareer and build my build my
(27:55):
empire.
And he's probably thinking aboutthat too.
Oh, he talks about it a lot.
SPEAKER_00 (28:00):
He'll say, like, I knew money, I ain't know it was
money in that.
And yeah, he'll he willapologize.
I would give him that.
He's apologized several times.
I screwed it up.
I'm dealing with regret, guilt,all of that.
Like, I ruined the literally,like, I ruined the best thing
that happened to me.
Like, we could have beenphenomenal.
And I wasn't trying to push himout.
I invited him into business.
And he was like, Ike, you know,Tina Turner.
(28:23):
You know, he was on something, Iain't working for you.
You work for me.
You know, like, huh?
I ain't doing your damn man.
Yeah.
I was like, we're doing ittogether.
He was like, man, doing that.
And he's like, explain it to me.
SPEAKER_08 (28:37):
What type of sales was he in?
SPEAKER_00 (28:39):
He was, um, he had his own company, but he was
dealing with high state, likegetting people loans and to
where he would have investorscome in.
They were trying to sell aproduct, like somebody had a
patent and they were trying tosell it to the open market.
I see.
So he used to deal withattorneys and This was too
little for him.
SPEAKER_07 (28:56):
Yeah, this was way too little, three, four, five,
six thousand dollar polishes.
SPEAKER_00 (29:01):
Yeah, he wanted he wanted something big and he's
just too bougie.
I will he ghetto bougie.
Yeah.
Just being honest with you.
He's from New York.
He's by way of New York.
SPEAKER_07 (29:10):
So we're talking about uh what part?
What part?
SPEAKER_00 (29:14):
Um Brooklyn and somewhere else.
It was a bunch of places.
I can't because my dad's fromNew York, flatbush.
He just felt like, give me abreak.
Sometimes when people think sobig, it's just like, Jen, I'm
not dealing with that.
But then he seemed the money init, but he didn't want to do it.
So he wasn't supportive.
SPEAKER_08 (29:31):
You know, um one thing that comes to mind, and
I'll speak for myself.
You know, when you're reallygood at something, you have this
one thing, right?
So for example, I look at mywife, she's really good at a lot
of things, and I admire her forso many things.
But I'm like, you know what I'mreally good at where I can kick
your ass in all day long?
Sales.
What if she got in salestomorrow?
(29:53):
I'd be like, I got nothing left.
I know it wouldn't take it tothe extreme of making her life
miserable and sabotaging herbusiness at support.
But I think there's like alittle egotistical thing to
where you're still competingwith the person you're supposed
to be supporting and backing upto be like, well, this is the
one thing that I know how to dobetter than you, right?
To the point where if you wereto give him advice, let's say
(30:14):
you weren't in sales yet and youtry to give him, well, why don't
you try saying this?
Because you know, he would maybeventing and complaining about
something, like, well, maybe youshould try saying that.
Back of his head, he'd be like,that's that's really good.
But I'm not gonna admit that toher because all of a sudden
she's giving me advice about myjob, how to do my job, and she's
got better skill sets.
Um I think that played a role aswell where he felt like there
(30:34):
was something that he had thathe was great at, and then not
that you took it away, becauseyou didn't do anything wrong in
that sense, but it's like, man,even that.
SPEAKER_00 (30:43):
I think so, because that was the one thing that he
was he still I still think tothis day he's a I know he's a
better salesperson than me.
It's just an opportunity.
And if you're willing to humbleyourself and do it.
And there's a lot of people thatare better than us doing it, but
they want to be so high leveland I want to do that.
I don't sell annuities and yeah,it's only you African Americans,
(31:05):
so it's only three percent of usthat's earning six figures and
more, right?
So now you done brought yourselfdown to a smaller pocket, so
it's harder to close thosedeals.
But you know what it is like fora woman?
Probably for a man too.
When you start something, youknow what it why it hurts so bad
when you don't get support?
It's like your best friendhating on you.
SPEAKER_08 (31:26):
I think it affects women more than it affects men.
Yeah, it's like a I care less.
SPEAKER_00 (31:30):
It's a hater.
It's like you turn you a haternow?
You hating?
unknown (31:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (31:34):
You know, you're worse than somebody in the
street.
SPEAKER_07 (31:36):
It's definitely a w uh a woman deal.
SPEAKER_08 (31:37):
And yeah, does it make sense?
I mean, I don't need you tosabotage my situation, but if
you don't support in that sense,m we as men need support, but I
think it means a lot more to youthat we step into that role to
say we got your back, or how canwe help?
How can we make this easier?
I don't know if you're if I'mjust speaking for myself here,
Willie, but I don't expect thehelp, I guess, in a sense.
(31:58):
I don't expect the support.
This is my job, that's what Igotta go do, so I go do it.
When you jump into something,it's not just work, but you're
jumping into something whereyou're self-employed.
I need to be there for youbecause you're gonna have a lot
of shitty days.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (32:11):
It changes the dynamics in a lot of things for
me.
So I just wasn't expecting it.
So it was blindsided.
I was like, man, I supported himfor years, ups and downs, and
never got upset there for him.
So I thought he would have thesame trait.
Yeah.
But it was never tested.
SPEAKER_04 (32:27):
It now gets tested.
SPEAKER_00 (32:30):
And then it w it triggers something like I said
in me.
You don't realize that's a bigdeal for you until it shows up.
And then when it shows up,you're like, man, if you don't
fix this, you may not know thisis a big deal for me, but you
gotta fix this because I can'toperate like this.
I can't live like this.
SPEAKER_08 (32:47):
So when the seas are smooth, everybody's a great
captain.
Right?
SPEAKER_00 (32:52):
I like that.
SPEAKER_08 (32:54):
You find out who someone really is when she
holds.
SPEAKER_00 (33:02):
I'ma use that.
SPEAKER_08 (33:05):
Consider that stolen.
unknown (33:06):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (33:08):
So, you know, now you figure who someone really is
because there's there's dermaland there's issues.
Yeah.
He wasn't involved in business.
SPEAKER_00 (33:16):
He wasn't.
I felt he could have been anasset because in my brain, I was
gonna put him to work.
I was gonna make him go in thatfield.
Handle them.
I was gonna handle the books.
I know to this day he's a bettersalesperson than me.
SPEAKER_08 (33:29):
Yeah, you've said that twice.
So as a salesperson, I have toask, why do you say that?
SPEAKER_00 (33:33):
He's assertive.
He's a thinker.
SPEAKER_07 (33:36):
Most aquariuses that there are.
Sure, really.
Sure, really throw that in.
Most aquarius, man, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (33:44):
But and then he, you know, from New York, he can read
the room quicker than me.
He's been through a lot morelife situations.
So well, it took me time like tofigure out that this person's a
joke.
SPEAKER_07 (33:55):
Yeah, I already know.
SPEAKER_00 (33:56):
Dealing with that, you know, we're on to the next.
SPEAKER_07 (33:57):
But do you go into the means and he's quiet and he
sits back and he watches andobserves?
Yeah.
You know.
Yeah.
Not very upfront and friendlyand everything.
SPEAKER_00 (34:05):
Oh, and he said on me about that too, being so
friendly.
SPEAKER_07 (34:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (34:08):
You know, I was like, what are you smiling for?
He's smiling.
My dad told me he trusts peopleto smile all the time.
And I'm like, why can't I smile?
He's from New York too.
So I'm like, why can't I smile?
He's like, all that skinning andgrinning, I ain't got time for
all of that.
Just let like how Willie came inthe meeting.
SPEAKER_02 (34:20):
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (34:21):
I mean, you would have to get up close up on him
to like him.
SPEAKER_02 (34:25):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (34:25):
But if he came into a meeting, you'd think, oh,
who's this arrogant jerk?
You know?
You were right to think that.
SPEAKER_07 (34:31):
It is all the time.
It's crazy.
And you're everything but.
SPEAKER_04 (34:35):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (34:35):
Everything but.
And I always say when peoplereally get to know me, the the
people who really know me, theyreally, really like me.
Right.
You know, but I'm like an onion.
You got to peel me down.
You know?
And it takes a it takes a minutefor you to get there.
But once you in, yeah, I'mlocked, I'm loyal, I'm gonna
fight, we go do whatever we gotto do together to get to what
we're trying to get to.
(34:56):
Yeah.
But it takes a lot to get tothat point.
You got layers.
I got layers.
Like Shrek.
unknown (35:00):
Right.
SPEAKER_08 (35:01):
Yeah.
You could have picked a parfait,you know.
They have layers too.
SPEAKER_00 (35:06):
Exactly.
But I w I want to say somethingtoo, and I don't know if I don't
I'm gonna say it before I missit.
Now, what I do understand aboutmen, as women in in sales, you
learn more how men feel, though.
And what I mean by that is, youknow, when I was younger, he go
to meetings, and I couldprobably be a pain in the butt.
(35:28):
When are you coming home?
What you doing?
Why'd a meeting taking so long?
But when you're on the receivingend of that, nobody wants to
deal with that.
SPEAKER_07 (35:37):
Nobody wants to deal with that.
SPEAKER_00 (35:38):
And if women understood how aggravating that
was, I cannot.
The worst thing don't date meand ask me what I'm doing and
what I'm coming.
I just it's just so annoying.
SPEAKER_03 (35:49):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (35:49):
It's like, let me just work and and do what I need
to do and and come home.
SPEAKER_07 (35:54):
So I got look, I got you when I get there.
SPEAKER_00 (35:56):
I see you when I get there.
Yeah.
But when you get the calls oryou get the annoyance or someone
aggravating you are you in b orasking a lot of questions,
sometimes you get a littlemasculine in this business if
you don't watch it.
So when your mind is thinkingand doing, you're like, what?
What do you need?
You know, you d I wasn't as softas I as I was like, stay at home
(36:20):
mother, breastfeeding andcooking dinner.
SPEAKER_08 (36:23):
And that was your life for a little bit.
SPEAKER_00 (36:24):
That was my life, so now I gotta get it get in you.
Now I gotta start thinking.
I'm not him, but I still have tostart thinking so I can't be
aggravated.
Trevor Burrus, Jr.
SPEAKER_08 (36:34):
It's definitely one of those where to date someone
who's in that field, sales orbeing an entrepreneur, because
people quit their regular nineto five so they can go work for
themselves because they thinkthey're gonna work less
sometimes.
But it's the opposite, right?
You're gonna double the amountof hours you work because you're
never off.
But having someone in your lifewho doesn't understand that can
(36:56):
be a pain, mostly for them,because then they are gonna
struggle with figuring out whyyou can't make time for me or
why you can't be more, I guess,more regular, right?
It's that's just being regular.
You get off at this at thistime, you don't work the
weekends, you know.
And that's the that's not whathappens.
SPEAKER_07 (37:12):
And I'm gonna tell you something in my
relationship, it was kind oftotal the opposite.
My wife is really into the kidsand her job and you know,
providing, doing whatever shehad to do for the house.
Whole day I go by and she hadn'tcalled that.
You ain't worried about me.
SPEAKER_05 (37:30):
I know.
Like, hello, I'm here.
SPEAKER_07 (37:33):
I've been working all day.
I mean, I could have literallybeen anywhere.
But that so it worked for me.
Yeah.
Because once I got accustomed tookay, how she thinks, and you
know, because I I know that ifshe would have been calling me
throughout the day while I'mworking, I would have been
miserable.
SPEAKER_03 (37:47):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (37:47):
So after a while, I'm like, because I'm I was used
to women doing that.
So when she didn't do it, shewas like, hey, oh, I'm fine.
I'm I'm sitting here working.
Me and the kids, we're doingthis, we're doing that, and
we're doing that.
Okay, let me go, let me, let mego keep doing what I'm doing.
Well, shit, just check on thenigga.
unknown (38:04):
I know.
SPEAKER_07 (38:05):
We laugh about that all the time.
She allowed me to grow.
Uh, she never tried to changeanything that I did, never tried
to change who I was.
She just kind of embraced it andadded her value in wherever it
can it can fit.
So I know that I can call if Iwas having a bad day, we'll sit
there, we'll talk about it.
Hey, come back with three.
(38:26):
That's what she would say to me.
Hey, come back with three.
Don't come home unless you gotthree.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (38:30):
You know, but that's why you can survive in the
business.
It's a key thing with your wife.
SPEAKER_07 (38:34):
That's your family.
SPEAKER_00 (38:36):
A lot of men don't want to give credit to that
wife.
SPEAKER_07 (38:38):
Man, I give it to her now.
I didn't give it to her before.
I'm gonna be honest with you.
I didn't I didn't give it toher.
SPEAKER_00 (38:44):
You know, we hire people in, and I can tell
immediately if this guy'sprobably gonna make it or not.
If you meet the wife, either oneof two things.
If she don't want anything to dowith it, I'm like, mm-hmm, it's
probably not gonna work.
Or she wants to be too involvedand she's a negative influence.
Or she doesn't have some womencan't have their husbands do
(39:09):
this business and they don'thave a business state of mind.
I see it a lot.
It's like some, you know, youryour wife is, you know, good in
that area, but sometimes if aman is an entrepreneur and that
wife is too nine to five-ish,it's not gonna work.
It's gonna be just turmoilbecause she is like, like you
said, I don't understand why youcan't be here at five and why
(39:29):
you gotta work on the weekendand why you gotta have these
conference calls and I have toagree with the men in this area,
but you want all this stuff.
SPEAKER_02 (39:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (39:36):
You want a vacation all the time, you want nice
stuff, you want, you know, youlike clothes, you know, nice
restaurants, you like this home,or you want a bigger home.
He has to work.
He has to probably nine timesout of ten be out of this house.
So, but when they come in andthey're like, Oh, my wife
doesn't really want me to do it,and then they're a little weak.
(39:56):
I'm just being real.
Yeah, a lot of these men arenot.
That's the worst thing.
A lot of they weak.
And I'm like, so she's tellingyou what to do.
SPEAKER_02 (40:03):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (40:04):
And I can't get too involved because I'm like,
that's your wife.
I don't want to tell you whatyou but I already know, like,
you're not that tough.
unknown (40:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (40:11):
Or you don't really believe in it.
And she's dragging her feet.
And I'm like, this is gonna be amess.
But a lot of times the wealthierthe guy is, I already know he
had a good wife at home.
SPEAKER_07 (40:21):
It goes together.
One of the most importantdecisions that you can make is
who you marry.
Mm-hmm.
It can it can make you or it canit can break you.
And like I said, with mine, sheshe allowed me to grow and do
what I needed to do.
Like I said, when I came toinsurance, she didn't
necessarily really believe ininsurance or really knew
anything about it.
(40:42):
But she knew me.
She knew the grind.
She knew the hustle.
She knew that I was gonna makesomething happen.
In the morning, getting up, Ihad a uh mobile detailing
business.
That's actually how I missed thephone.
unknown (40:52):
Okay.
SPEAKER_08 (40:53):
Yeah, you pull up to the corporate office.
SPEAKER_07 (40:55):
Corporate office, I'm washing cars out there in
the parking lot.
You know, I was the kid that wasgoing through the neighborhood
with my dad's lawnmower, tryingto make my own money.
That has been me.
And we got history.
We've been knowing each otherfor a long time, me and my wife.
So she knew my family again, sheknew my pedigree.
So she didn't really have toworry about a whole lot of
stuff.
(41:15):
Because I'm gonna get out thereand I'm gonna work my ass off.
I'm gonna make some shit happen,but I'm also gonna have fun.
So she also knew that about me.
I work hard, but then I alsoplay hard.
So when I was playing hard andshe hadn't called me all day,
I'm like, man, this is I ain'tworking no more right now, but
you still ain't gonna call me.
SPEAKER_05 (41:35):
Okay.
All right, I'm coming.
All right, I see you by four inthe morning.
SPEAKER_07 (41:40):
You know, and then she got tired of that.
So a man would change for theright person.
SPEAKER_03 (41:46):
Absolutely.
SPEAKER_07 (41:46):
I change, so now I'm a good boy.
I'm at home by 6:30, 7 o'clock,in bed by nine.
Unless you got a meeting at 10p.m.
SPEAKER_03 (41:54):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_07 (41:54):
But if she knows if I have to go out of town for a
week or two or three or fourdays, that's just what it is.
Yeah.
And then she was an entrepreneurtoo.
She had an event planningbusiness and stuff like that.
So she understood the grind workthat you have to have to go
through that.
That helped out a lot.
She's nine to five, and then shehad a successful business on the
side.
She understood it all.
SPEAKER_00 (42:13):
She understood that work ethic and what it took and
to not get you out the wrongheadspace.
Yeah.
So that's part why she didn'tcall either.
She's like, I know what ittakes.
Yeah.
But when you're dealing withpeople, you get a nine to five
and an entrepreneur to get it'sjust like they don't have any
even desire to be anentrepreneur or do anything
outside of the nine to five.
Right.
You gotta struggle.
SPEAKER_07 (42:32):
Yeah.
Big time.
SPEAKER_00 (42:32):
And we see it a lot.
You know, we see it a lot ofstruggles.
SPEAKER_07 (42:35):
I don't want you going out at night.
It's getting dark.
SPEAKER_00 (42:38):
Who is that?
Who's that?
Why are you calling so late?
SPEAKER_07 (42:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (42:44):
The person's on speaker phone.
For goodness sake.
You know, you have to deal dealwith a lot of that.
That's why I knew I can't Ican't deal with this.
SPEAKER_07 (42:51):
And making them feel secure in the business, you
know, like I like my wife seesJennifer.
She knows she's an attractivelady.
And so when she when Jennifercalled her, we're talking, I'm
on speaker.
SPEAKER_00 (43:01):
And then if his wife is they I talk to his wife.
Yeah.
Like Willie can leave the room.
We have a whole conversation.
Just talking about still thebusiness.
Yeah.
Because she also understands thebusiness.
Right.
You get what I mean?
She's heard him, and now she's abusinesswoman.
So a lot of things he's like,well, my wife can help with
this, she can help with that.
SPEAKER_08 (43:18):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (43:19):
But that's a good support system that allows him
to be able to do what he needsto do.
SPEAKER_08 (43:23):
So now that you're in the business, and I know
there's been an entire paradigmshift with you.
So now that you're here, what isyour view of men?
What is your view on men,rather?
And when you decide to date,you're going to funnel people
into certain places, intocertain spots.
You have a different outlooknow.
So who are you dating?
Who are you picking?
How do you assess the type ofmen you want to date?
(43:45):
And what will you stay awayfrom?
SPEAKER_00 (43:47):
Oh, that's tough.
Let me start.
Stay away from Aquarius.
Yes, let me say that again.
SPEAKER_03 (43:55):
So for me, I don't believe in that.
SPEAKER_00 (43:56):
End of January, February.
No.
Yeah, anywhere.
SPEAKER_07 (44:00):
This ain't gonna work.
We are not that bad.
SPEAKER_00 (44:04):
They start off good.
SPEAKER_08 (44:08):
No Aquarius man, got it.
SPEAKER_00 (44:10):
No, seriously, how are you men?
I've always, you know what, mybrothers told me this years ago.
They said, Jenny, you wantMartin Luther King, Malcolm X,
and somebody else all mixed inone.
It's like you're too picky.
So when I started dating my ex,he he had a lot of qualities.
He still does have a, you know,he had a lot of quality.
(44:31):
Good looking, know how to dress,making money, a giver.
So I'm like, this is gonna work.
My view of men, I think I'veprobably always been a little
tough on men, if I could just bequite honest.
Okay.
I want you to be tougher thanme.
So if I'm thinking a certainway, I think you should already
have that thought.
I should already have beenthere.
Do you know what I mean?
Like if I'm thinking aboutbusiness.
(44:52):
Okay, let me give you anexample.
SPEAKER_08 (44:54):
I should have already been thinking what
you're thinking.
SPEAKER_00 (44:56):
What I mean by that is if I'm thinking about the
future, my future, right?
Savings, retirement, how we'regonna live, your brain needs to
be already on that.
SPEAKER_08 (45:04):
Sure.
That I get.
SPEAKER_00 (45:05):
So if your brain is not there, no.
SPEAKER_08 (45:07):
So big picture things.
SPEAKER_00 (45:09):
Big picture things.
Are you a leader?
You know, can you lead me in anycapacity?
And I, you know, women have tobe honest with themselves.
And I'm very honest with myself.
Right, right.
I I'm gonna be real.
I like money.
SPEAKER_02 (45:21):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (45:22):
I like a provider.
That's what I like.
And some people want to, youknow, women want to skate around
that and make themselves feelbad and say, no, okay, well,
that's you.
SPEAKER_08 (45:31):
That's a hundred percent okay with me if that's
what you say up front, andthat's what it is.
Yeah.
And that's what I'm okay with.
Like that's what it is.
And and not in the sense towhere just like, well, I guess I
won't put words in your mouth.
So to what extent when you sayyou like money, you want to
provide her?
Because you're working, you'reproviding for yourself.
SPEAKER_00 (45:47):
But what I mean by that is I don't want to have a
money problem.
I don't need money to buy a lotof clothes.
And if I get used to, yeah, Idon't have to have fancy
restaurants, all that all thetime.
I like to cook.
SPEAKER_02 (45:58):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (45:58):
You know, but I do want the home provided for, and
then when I say I want totravel, I want to be able to go.
It's two two or three times ayear.
That's not a lot to me.
SPEAKER_02 (46:07):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (46:08):
But somebody who's tight, less an issue for them.
You get what I mean?
I want a man who's alwaysprogressing, who's always
growing, and who wants more inlife.
So that is more difficult forme.
If you're not gonna have that,I'm gonna be honest with you,
you're gonna be real nice.
When I say real nice, I mean youdarn the angel on earth.
SPEAKER_08 (46:28):
You won't you won't date that man, I tell you.
It doesn't matter how nice thatman is.
At this point in your life,you're not dating that man.
SPEAKER_00 (46:33):
I probably would.
Nah.
Or let me say this.
SPEAKER_08 (46:35):
Let's let's let's let's imagine whatever you be
real sweet.
Like be real nice.
Sorry.
I gotta call you on that one.
SPEAKER_00 (46:44):
You know, super sweet.
I know wow.
SPEAKER_08 (46:49):
Because you'll see him for what he is, and that's a
wonderful person, but I can't bethat person's partner, and that
can be my partner because we'reon two different paths.
The financial side of it, he'snot there, and you're not
willing to go struggle.
SPEAKER_00 (47:00):
I need the bills pay.
SPEAKER_08 (47:01):
Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (47:02):
You know, and a lot of women don't like to say, I
need the bills pay.
SPEAKER_08 (47:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (47:05):
These bills have got to get paid.
And by me being a stay-at-homemom for so many years, I don't
like paying my bills.
Even when I have it.
I'm gonna just be real with you.
I got it, but I don't likepaying them.
It's not fun.
SPEAKER_08 (47:17):
I'm gonna like them dude.
She's like, I I I I named everydollar and every time I parked
ways with a woman.
SPEAKER_00 (47:25):
And I'm like, let me tell you something like ex told
me.
You know what he told me?
He said, I ain't got no problemwith you.
I said, What do you mean?
He was like, You want too much.
He said, Jim, you don't likespending your own money.
And I thought about it.
I was like, Oh, God, I don't.
I am a giver, don't get mewrong.
And he would tell you this: like, I'm a giver. (47:41):
undefined
I buy you stuff, I want todating you, you're gonna get the
best of the best, because I likethe best of the best, right?
But I do not like thinking andpaying bills, even though I do
it and I do it well, I don'tlike spending my money on bills.
I don't like it.
I feel like a man.
Yeah.
And if women were being honest,that ain't fun.
(48:03):
Me taking my hard-earned moneyand nothing.
SPEAKER_05 (48:06):
And paying for these lights.
SPEAKER_00 (48:07):
And paying this bills, and paying as high as
cardinals.
Excuse my French, but you knowhow about the card and the tires
$1,800.
And I was like, somebody else isabout to pay this.
I'm not gonna do it.
Somebody else needs to pay thesebills.
SPEAKER_02 (48:21):
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_00 (48:22):
And then when a man is paying bills, you do shut up.
You let a lot of stuff slide.
When a man is paying bills, youyou kind of like, okay.
SPEAKER_02 (48:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (48:32):
I'm gonna be quiet.
And I'm not an in-your-face typeof woman anyway.
I'm just, you know, I'm nottrying, like, oh, she's so
perfect.
But I'm really not.
I like peace.
I'm not getting in you, right?
I'm not going toe to toe.
And because two, I raised withbrothers and they always tell
me, don't go toe to toe, no man.
I ain't saying I never did it.
It's a part of me just that'sjust who I am.
I'd rather ignore you.
SPEAKER_02 (48:53):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (48:53):
I'd rather just get quiet and let you cool off, and
you know what, just leave thehouse if you're gonna act up,
right?
But back to this money.
I do not like paying my ownbills.
SPEAKER_08 (49:04):
I don't like it.
Let's say you meet someone andyou talked about a man always
looking towards the future, aperson who wants to scale, a
person who wants to elevatethemselves, et cetera, right?
But what you're seeing iscurrently they are not there,
but they have all of the otherelements.
Super nice, super sweet, giving,caring.
They have the provider mindset.
(49:25):
They may not be able to yet, andthey're on their way to all
these different things.
They can definitely protect you,but that person financially is
not there, but you know thatkind of.
I would still date them.
You would.
SPEAKER_00 (49:35):
And you know what?
SPEAKER_08 (49:36):
They can't pay bills today.
SPEAKER_00 (49:37):
He can't.
But let me tell you why.
Let me tell you the biggestthing of everything that you
named is he wants to.
He has a desire to.
SPEAKER_08 (49:46):
Okay, so the reason I asked you that question that
way is because I think that'swhat a lot of women are missing.
Women want the man uh like themeal is already prepped.
It's 100% made.
And I'm not saying you need togo and complete that man, that's
not what anybody's looking for.
But if you can look past certainthings, not that you're lowing
your standards, but if you cansee everything for what it
(50:06):
really is, and you can kind ofsee what this person is working
towards, a lot of m women missout.
How many stories have we heardof people in general that were
passed up and someone's lookingat them like, oh man, I didn't
know they're gonna get on thisrise and just keep climbing.
I mean, think about it, bro.
Someone dumped Beyoncé one day.
SPEAKER_06 (50:25):
Yeah.
unknown (50:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_08 (50:26):
There's an ex-boyfriend out there who
dumped her.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, and I'm not to say she'san L and all be all, but you
know what I mean.
As far as the world's looking,you know, this is a billionaire.
This is someone who's doinggreat for himself.
And there is someone who dumpedRobert Smith, CEO and one of the
richest billionaires in America,right?
SPEAKER_00 (50:45):
That's the fun for me, though.
Believe it or not, sincerely, Ilove my bills pay.
But let me say this I think itwould be more exciting for me
when someone is doing somethingand going for something.
Yeah.
Because it's like we in thistogether.
SPEAKER_05 (50:58):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (50:59):
That's the fun part.
SPEAKER_05 (51:00):
The building of it.
SPEAKER_00 (51:01):
The building of it.
And believing in a man and wegot this, and this is another
strategy.
SPEAKER_07 (51:07):
And honestly, that's what brought me and my wife
closer together.
Going through that together.
Yeah.
We didn't get to that pointuntil we actually got to Georgia
because we were forced toelevate ourselves.
Together.
And we elevated together.
So that made us more of apowerful couple.
Yeah.
You know, because we even speakthat to each other now.
Hey, hey, go get it, go kill it.
(51:28):
I know you go kill it.
No, this morning, hey, go killit.
It's beautiful.
Oh, I love that.
SPEAKER_00 (51:33):
That's fun.
I want that.
If he doesn't already have ittogether, that's what I like.
You know, like, okay, what doyou plan on doing?
Let's talk about that.
I'm a good, what do you need meto do?
You know, okay, this is this isa play.
What do I what do I need to run?
What do you what do you need meto be?
Do you need me to be in thisspace?
But I have to be used.
And that's what I think a lot ofmen don't understand.
(51:54):
When they find women or theyfeel like, well, she already got
this together and she alreadymaking so much money over here
and she's doing this and she'salready driving this and she
lives this kind of life.
And I still don't feel like, youknow, to us, we're living it.
We're like, oh, we need more, alot more.
Give me about that times four,right?
Right.
So they miss out the fact that agood quality woman wants to be
(52:16):
used in a good way.
You know, we want to be, youknow, put us to use.
What do you need me to prayabout?
What do you need to be having beon my face about doing
secretarial work?
We want to be used and be valuedin that way.
Right.
But a lot of men are like, shealready got together, she ain't
gonna listen, you know, shegonna do her own thing.
And it's like, no, you're justnot really used to good women.
SPEAKER_07 (52:37):
Right.
I mean like my wife, she's notvery visible with the business.
She doesn't come to anymeetings, she really don't come
to any events or anything likethat, but she is the backbone of
Nash Group Insurance Services.
So she makes the calls, she setsthe appointment sometimes, um,
she booked my flights, she setthe hotel arrangements up.
I don't have to do anything butjust show up.
(52:59):
So those type of things is kindof important to me.
I do like her, I want her tocome to certain things, but if
she can't make it, that ain'tthe end all be all.
Hey, if you make sure that I'muh laying down in a safe space,
you know, that works for me.
Yeah.
You know, don't put me on alittle track, you know, the
hotel on a little track.
You know what I like, put methere.
You know how where I like tosit.
(53:20):
When you uh book my flight, youknow I got to have this
particular seat.
Yeah.
You know, that means a lot moreto me.
You know, and she and she doesthat.
That's wonderful.
SPEAKER_00 (53:28):
It's needed.
We we want that role.
We sincerely as women, we wantto fill that space of a feminine
role for men.
You run into some bad apples.
I I run into the business.
Um even in my business, I'mlike, I can look at certain
women, I'm like, man, she is madaggressive.
She's mad masculine.
She doesn't realize it.
She's totally operating in hermasculinity, you know, and I can
(53:49):
see it because you have to selfyou can self-diagnose your own
self.
I can tell when I'm doing it orI've done it.
So it's a lot of work to be backto your natural state.
SPEAKER_04 (53:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (54:00):
But I can tell you that I I would love that.
I would love for a man to say,This is my idea, I want to work
towards this.
That's fun for me.
Even if he doesn't have it rightnow.
SPEAKER_08 (54:08):
Yeah.
So what is your advice then fora woman who is looking to date?
God knows, when I talk to a lotof women, they will tell you,
man, that pool out there is justfilthy.
There's just nothing in there.
Right?
I hear it all the time.
And maybe, again, I don't know.
Where are you looking to, right?
Because maybe you're behind acertain paywall.
Maybe there's other reasons whyyou're not talking to the right
(54:29):
people.
Maybe there's an education gap.
There's so many differentreasons that you are looking at
certain men.
Maybe you're attracting what youare.
We'll leave all that alone.
But when you but when you'retalking to when you're thinking
about dating a man, what is youradvice for them to not fall for
the yokey doke?
Well, girl, I got some plans.
Well, everything's broken, but Igot some plans.
(54:51):
I promise you get with me.
We'll we'll be straight in a fewyears.
Because you don't want the, youknow, I got daughters.
I don't want them to fall forthat nonsense either.
But social media has made it towhere the man's not making
forget six figures.
They don't even know what thatmeans after that time because
they've never made more than 30grand.
They don't even know what sixfigures is.
So, but they'll tell you, now Ihear uh specific numbers.
I've heard a woman say, someoneasked her, What's the least
(55:13):
amount of money a man needs tomake for you to date him?
She said 250.
Like, you need to make 250 todate you?
Like 175 or 185, 250, 300K.
You know, they just threw outsome crazy numbers because they
want to be in that space towhere they're being provided
for.
But uh a woman who's dating,who's looking to be with someone
It's hard for me to give youadvice.
SPEAKER_00 (55:33):
I don't have a man.
I'm not, you know, I wasmarried, but I'm not married
now.
SPEAKER_02 (55:37):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (55:37):
So and then too, I have to be honest with myself.
And women have to be honest withthemselves.
Are you really dating?
Are you sitting at home andyou're going to, you know,
you're doing your business andyou're coming home.
So I can't say these men arethat bad.
Because I'm not dating a lot.
I can't do a census and like,oh, girl, it's bad out there.
Oh, these men, it's crap.
I don't go on dates like that.
(55:58):
So I'm not in people's face.
I mean, sometimes I say, youknow, you should be dating, but
sometimes I get a little lazy inthat.
You get used to your rhythm, youknow, as women too.
And if I can be quite honestwith you, when you're in
business, I get a lot of myneeds filled from other men.
And I don't mean not as a sexualway.
SPEAKER_05 (56:23):
My mind went so far left.
SPEAKER_00 (56:27):
I I listen, I don't mean it not in a sexual way, but
in think about it.
This kind of mess you up too.
You get to deal with so manyprofessional men that I can get
my talk time in.
You get what I mean?
If I go to lunch or dinner, andthen I go to lunch and dinner,
and I laugh kiki, talk aboutbusiness, I go home.
SPEAKER_02 (56:46):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (56:46):
And I'll have to answer to anybody, you know what
I mean?
So that can get you caught uptoo, because you're getting that
particular need met.
SPEAKER_02 (56:54):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (56:55):
You get what I mean?
Because it's like, okay, I cantalk to this person, I can talk
to that man, and I can, oh, he'spowerful, and he's powerful in
this way, and then I do my thingwith the children, I hang out
with my girlfriends, and prettymuch fulfilled.
You're fulfilled.
SPEAKER_07 (57:09):
So you basically got a a man for everything.
That's what I'm hearing.
I got a man, you got a man forthis.
He I can talk to him about this.
Everything except then the otherman after 10 30 at 11 o'clock.
SPEAKER_08 (57:22):
That's one that's more of a mentor.
SPEAKER_00 (57:24):
Yeah.
Right.
You you get what I mean.
So we don't talk about thatenough until but I'm not really
out there.
So when I hear people like, oh,they're terrible, I'm like,
these men are not that bad.
I'm I'm gonna be honest with youtoo.
We're really, we're reallypicky.
And you gotta say to yourself,like you said, and women are
saying, I'm not, he's not, I'mnot gonna work with him.
How can you tell?
(57:44):
How can you tell if a man isreally about his business?
Watch his habits.
A man that is an early riser,what is he talking about?
You know, we trying to make thisall difficult to figure out if
he's full of crap or not.
He's gonna talk about what he'sdoing, right?
He's gonna move a certain way.
SPEAKER_03 (58:03):
Right.
SPEAKER_00 (58:03):
He's not gonna be too available.
You can see that rather quickly.
It's like, okay, what are youdoing?
If he doesn't like to talk aboutit or he's not doing it.
If he's not an early riser andhe's getting up and he's pumped
and he's excited about talking,you you already know what you're
dealing with.
But for the most part, you know,with women, we do have to meet
men where they are, but yougotta, you know, detect what is
(58:24):
he about.
At the end of the day, when Isay, do I want my bills paid?
Do I like paying bills?
No, I I'm being honest.
I don't.
I don't like it.
SPEAKER_02 (58:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (58:32):
I mean, I like that I had the money to pay it, but I
don't like to be the one payingit.
SPEAKER_02 (58:36):
I'm just being, I'm just being serious.
SPEAKER_00 (58:39):
I don't like writing a check.
I like when he was writing thechecks.
SPEAKER_02 (58:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (58:41):
I like when uh I gotta go to Home Depot.
Just certain loops.
SPEAKER_08 (58:46):
That's when they know you're single.
When you pop over to Home Depotand you sing.
SPEAKER_00 (58:49):
I gotta be honest with you, when I go to Home
Depot, I'm in a bad mood.
I'm like, first of all, I didn'teven be in here.
I'm gonna tell the girls, callyour daddy and tell him.
I don't like being and I don'teven go in there that much, but
I don't like doing it.
I don't like paying for serviceguys in the house.
I don't like them flirting withme and charging me.
(59:10):
It's a lot of things in thisworld that you have to be
honest.
Some women don't care.
They're like, man, I get upthere and not paint it.
I you know, fix it.
I'm not that kind of woman.
SPEAKER_02 (59:19):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (59:19):
I'm just not her.
But even like I said, let's sayhe doesn't have a lot of money.
But he's doing all of that.
He knows how to paint.
He knows how to fix stuff.
SPEAKER_08 (59:27):
Yeah, I gotta work.
I gotta go to work.
You paint, you fix stuff.
I mean, yeah, even if it's notwhat you want, because I gotta
tell you, it feels so gratifyingto actually build something and
create something and do it withyour own hands.
I was never that guy.
I would rather go knock on amillion doors and sell all day
long and then pay someone tocome to the show.
SPEAKER_00 (59:46):
Well, I'm gonna be real with let me tell you the
cheat code.
If you don't make if guys, ifyou're not making a lot of
money, fix some shit.
Man, if you it is nothing like awoman seeing a man fix like he
doing that, he getting at that.
SPEAKER_08 (59:57):
I'm gonna go to Home Depot right after this guy.
SPEAKER_00 (01:00:01):
You take out one of the machines and like, man, I
don't know how you do it.
But but that is like such amasculine thing.
I don't even like for the men totell me you don't know.
How you don't know about thiscar?
You know, I grew up.
Like, you don't either you haveto be either or.
You're either gonna be a moneyman or you need to be a fix-it
(01:00:22):
man.
SPEAKER_07 (01:00:22):
Yeah.
But you can't.
You need to bring something tothe table.
You can't fail.
SPEAKER_00 (01:00:27):
You can't fail both.
Take my car, get a service.
I don't even want to hear aboutwhat's wrong with it.
I don't care.
Just drive.
SPEAKER_08 (01:00:33):
Get the details, get oil change.
You know.
SPEAKER_00 (01:00:36):
Whatever you need to do with this car.
SPEAKER_08 (01:00:37):
Put some oil in the tires.
SPEAKER_00 (01:00:39):
You already know all in the tires.
Let me tell you.
It's like that was the thingwith the separation.
I was like, I gotta do all thiscrap.
And I used to fill up the car,the gas.
I was like, oh, now I gotta goput gas in the car.
I mean little things that youdon't, you know, when people
women like, I can do this bymyself.
I'm like, you don't want to dothat, mess.
Now you do it and you adapt.
But as far as looking for menout here, you have to have money
(01:01:04):
or be able to pay bills.
When I say have money, that'srelative.
Because a man could make lessthan me.
But if he knows how to manage mmoney better than I do, and he's
an asset.
SPEAKER_02 (01:01:14):
Correct.
SPEAKER_00 (01:01:15):
Because to be honest with you, how can I say this
without sounding malechauvinistic and a woman liking
this?
SPEAKER_08 (01:01:22):
That's right.
SPEAKER_00 (01:01:23):
You need covering from a man.
You're gonna spend all thatmoney.
I really need somebody to comein and be like, nope.
You're not doing that.
We pulling back.
SPEAKER_02 (01:01:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (01:01:34):
And we this what we're doing with this money.
I may not like it, but I needit.
And I was raised with a father.
So I can lean into that.
You get what I mean?
Okay, this is what you say,dude.
We're gonna have to listen todaddy.
He's a man in the house.
If we listen to you, what do youneed me to do?
Okay, I'll do it.
Okay, okay, you the boss, right?
We need that cover.
SPEAKER_06 (01:01:55):
He's living with some regret, right?
Yeah, he's living with someregret.
I I can see it.
SPEAKER_00 (01:02:01):
You have to let a man lead.
unknown (01:02:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (01:02:02):
And we really want y'all to lead.
But even with earning money, westill know, like, I need some
covering.
I'm not dumb.
So I notice when the cover'staking off of you.
It's like see you laying in bedand you're cold and somebody
like, eh.
Wake up.
Like, I'm still chilly.
I got my sheet, but it ain'tnothing like that blanket.
(01:02:24):
The man is a blanket.
SPEAKER_08 (01:02:26):
That's a good way of putting it.
SPEAKER_00 (01:02:27):
He's a blanket.
SPEAKER_08 (01:02:28):
That's a good way.
Weighted blanket, too.
Yes.
Yeah.
I think that's a good spot toend it.
Any woman who goes out and theyhave to do something that's a
bit non-traditional when itcomes to work is going to be met
with some kind of obstacle.
And most often, unfortunately,that obstacle comes from their
own household.
And it's something that youshouldn't have to deal with, but
(01:02:48):
unfortunately you do.
SPEAKER_00 (01:02:51):
What can I leave with?
For one, the unexpected inbusiness.
And like you said, a lot of theturmoil is going to be inner,
it's not the outer world.
And also too, for women, get ina habit or just be self-aware of
your femininity during thisprocess.
To hold on to it, to lean intoit and to do your best to
(01:03:12):
monitor yourself, be veryprayerful in this process and do
things that are going to balanceyou in this business.
And the balancing is doingPilates, doing yoga, going for a
walk, taking art classes, notreading everything about
business, really relaxing.
So you can bring that balance tonot only your business and
yourself, but also to yourrelationship.
(01:03:36):
You know, just not knowing.
SPEAKER_08 (01:03:38):
Well said.
So earlier in the show, weflipped a coin.
No, we didn't.
But we're gonna ask you to readthe outro doing an impression.
Oh god.
Right?
And that impression was some oldschool.
SPEAKER_00 (01:03:51):
Some old man acting up.
SPEAKER_08 (01:03:52):
Go for it whenever you're ready.
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (01:03:54):
Oh, this is harder because you put me on the spot.
SPEAKER_07 (01:03:57):
Uh-huh.
You fell like I fell.
SPEAKER_00 (01:04:01):
Look now.
Go ahead and leave it, you know,please support us now.
Follow the show.
Now you need to go on and leavea dang on five-star review on
this Apple Podcast.
Nah, I ain't playing with younow.
Just go on and do it.
I ain't got time for this.
I thank y'all for listening.
We're gonna catch you, uh, we'regonna catch you next week.
We just have some conversations,some real issues every single
day.
(01:04:21):
That's what we're gonna do everysingle day.
Manhill matters, man.
Manhood matters.
We out, we out.
SPEAKER_01 (01:04:27):
Yeah.
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