May 5, 2025 • 52 mins
Have you ever considered what a relationship truly means, beyond the obvious trappings of romance and attraction? The answer might surprise you, challenge you, and ultimately transform how you approach your partnerships.
In this eye-opening conversation, we dive deep with an author who's about to release his provocative book, "Who Took My Manhood and Left Me All Alone With Her." Drawing from his extensive background in holistic psychology and behavioral science, he breaks down what's happening in Black relationships today and why so many partnerships fail despite good intentions.
The distinction between a relationship and companionship forms the heart of this discussion. A true relationship, our guest explains, requires mutual commitment to MENTAL, PHYSICAL, SPIRITUAL, SEXUAL, and FINANCIAL growth – not just someone to spend time with or enjoy experiences alongside. This ***FIVE-POINT PRINCIPLE*** creates the foundation for meaningful partnerships that transcend superficial connections.
Most thought-provoking is his perspective on wants versus needs. This insight invites listeners to reconsider their own criteria for selecting partners.
We also explore why America stands as one of the few countries without a universal understanding of marriage, how historical trauma continues to affect Black relationships, and what it means to operate from a place of knowledge rather than uncertainty and fear.
Whether you're struggling in your current relationship, questioning your approach to dating, or simply curious about deeper human connections, this conversation offers wisdom that cuts through cultural noise to reveal timeless principles that might just save your next – or current – relationship.
Contact David at the3zupan@proton.me for more information about his upcoming book, with a tentative release in September 2025.
Email us at manhoodmatterspodcast@gmail.com
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Host: StéphaneAlexandre
IG: @stephanealexandreofficial
Music by Liam Weisner
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I said because with you, every time I talk to you,
you're always pursuing some cat,based on what it is about, the
things about him that make youwant him.
And within 90 days to sixmonths nine months tops you all
disgruntled and you alldiscombobulated.
Why?
Because nine months into therelationship, your needs have
not been met.
And the reason why your needsare not being met is because
(00:21):
becoming a union with him wasnot predicated on your needs.
It was predicated on everythingabout him that you wanted.
I said women use their needs asa measuring stick.
It doesn't matter how tall,dark or handsome he is, how big
his penis is, how much money hegot or nothing.
If you got a list of needs andif you take out a certain amount
of time to acquireunderstanding, this man can
(00:43):
supply those needs.
When you discover that hecannot it doesn't matter what he
looks like or what he got goingon you vacate that situation.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Have you ever considered what it means to be
in a relationship Other than thevery obvious?
I mean, really considered whatit means, what the expectations
are, what roles each person issupposed to embody?
My friend, david, is writing abook where he dives into just
(01:17):
that.
What exactly is a relationshipas opposed to a companionship?
Now, that's a term I never evenheard or considered.
Which one are you in,relationship or companionship?
Which one are you searching for?
Now, the author's views areentirely his own.
Some I agree with and some Idon't, but regardless of my
personal opinion, thisconversation is educational,
(01:38):
thought-provoking and very muchneeded.
Be sure to hit that followbutton and share this episode
with a friend.
That's how we grow.
We really appreciate it, asalways.
Thank you for joining us today.
Welcome to Manhood Matters.
(02:16):
Let's get to it.
Welcome back to the pod.
Yes, sir, yeah, yes sir, yeah.
So in conversations with you inthe past, you mentioned a book
that you're either are in theprocess of writing or it's done.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yeah, I'm 68% in.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Okay, cool, tell us about the book man.
What's it called, and tell usabout it.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Well, the name of the book is called.
Who Took my Manhood and Left MeAll Alone With Her.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
It's a mouthful man.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah, it's definitely a mouthful.
I can't wait to hear this.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Yeah, break down the title for me.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
man, Tell me what's going on and it's one type of
situation where you know peoplealways go straight in for the
kill on the title, but it'sabout the systematic destruction
of the black family, how thegovernment manipulated our
African-American sisters intogetting the man, the black man,
out of the house.
One thing about me I have avery extensive background in
holistic psychology, behavioralscience, social science and
(03:10):
mental illness.
So, growing up in a spiritual,metaphysical, holistic, organic
centered home and familylifestyle, I was always raised
to not look at the symptom butthe cause.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Meaning like if I ever met a man or a woman, a
child, that acted a certain kindof way, I didn't write them off
on the symptom, the reaction,you went back to find out what
the reason is.
I wanted to find out why thischild wasn't born like this, why
this child was acting like this, even when it comes down to
relationships.
I spent nine months in theCongo, three months with the
pygmy tribe, and one of thethings that blew me away being
(03:48):
around this pygmy tribe is, youknow, when you go out to these
countries, especially like yousmack dead in the middle of one
of the most dangerousgeographical jungles in the
world all the bullshit fadesaway.
Everything that is in oursociety is now gone.
It's not in this society.
I'm like, literally like.
(04:11):
For instance, right now, as wespeak, there's over 7,000
actively spoken languages on theplanet.
Now, the overwhelming majorityof those 7,000 languages spoken
don't have the words belief,love or faith.
What was the word?
Before it became a word, it wasa thought and then it came to
action.
When I came to the realizationthat words were thoughts and
they became materialized asactions, then I start learning
and understanding that everyreal word solidifies itself.
(04:32):
And how does that real wordsolidify itself?
Through action.
If I say to you sit.
In order for you to execute theword sit, you have to take the
action of sitting down.
All real words are solidifiedby action.
If I say to my woman or to awoman or to you that I care for
you.
In order for me to care for you, I got to provide, I got to.
(04:52):
It has to be reinforced withaction.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
That's what you're talking about when you said the
word love itself doesn't haveaction behind it.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Exactly Because it's a four-letter word, a cliche in
a holiday, it actuallymaterialized around the time of
St Valentine's Day.
You know, Cupid, the heart,everything.
People don't do no research.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
So when did it get infused into the Bible then?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
The word love itself has no indigenous or ancient
origin.
So when you sit back and lookat the concept of the Bible not
take it away from anything butwhen you sit back and look at
the whole concept of writing40,000 years ago, putting stuff
in the book form, that's anotherevolution.
We're less than 500 yearsremoved from the continent, so
nothing has been lost.
(05:34):
Even when you go to Africa,african elders call America an
infant child still suckling athis mother's breast.
We are already a derailedsociety.
248 years in, we already are ina free fall of demoralization.
Facts don't even rule no more.
And even looking at therelationships between the men
(05:55):
and the women let's go back toslavery.
There have been scenarios thathave been playing out on this
planet due to colonization,putting our people in positions
that they was never, eversupposed to be put in.
A black woman was neversupposed to be put in the
position to be shown and provenand reinforced the understanding
(06:15):
that her man can't protect her.
Well, we don't take intoconsideration.
We're dealing with about 400and some change years of
resentment, right, and then, ontop of that, we find ourselves
making a transition into asociety that, as that society,
grows and evolves while at thesame time simultaneously still
(06:35):
reinforcing the notion in blackwomen's minds that your man
cannot protect you.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
At the same time, they're glorifying another man,
that was the whole purpose ofthem raping the woman in front
of you exactly so that your mancannot.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Exactly.
Right now, as we speak, wedealing with three decades.
We're dealing with thecollateral damage and fallout of
over three decades of massincarceration and single black
women parented homes.
That in itself is a pandemic.
That's a societal disruptionwithin a culture.
That's almost genocide in acertain sense.
Now, as things continue, it'snot almost genocide, it is
(07:12):
exactly exactly, and as thingsstill continue to progress.
Look at the fact like, forinstance, it's 2025, america
just so happens to be one of thefew countries that does not
possess a universalunderstanding of what a
relationship or marriage is.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
All right, stop, hang on a second, I agree.
So I want to start from whatyou just said and then just go
from there for me, okay.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
People don't take into consideration that America
just so happens to be one of thefew countries in the world that
does not possess a universalunderstanding of what a
relationship or a marriage isand what do you mean by that?
Speaker 2 (07:48):
for instance, or describe it the way the rest of
the world sees it, in the wayyou see it okay.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Well, like, for instance this is the best way I
can explain it.
I'll use the slavery situation.
Only a fraction of people wereenslaved.
You got a lot of people outhere think all of the continent
was hit by slavery.
It wasn't now.
Prior to slavery, 355,000 yearsof mental, physical, spiritual,
economical growth and evolutionon that continent.
(08:16):
First, colleges anduniversities in Africa that's
prior to slavery.
Then our ancestors getillegally abducted, shackledled,
enslaved and falsely brought tothe shores of this country,
america.
Now, when they get here, thewhole entire paradigm now has
now changed, because thesepeople are being stripped.
They've been stripped of land,language, culture, tradition.
They've been stripped.
(08:36):
Now you have them over here inthis foreign territory and you
now start the whole process ofreconditioning the mind.
If we go to Korea, korean menand women know what to expect
from one another.
Chinese men and women know whatto expect from one another,
because these cultures aroundthe world are hundreds of
thousands of years old in theirgrowth and evolution.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Would you describe for us what the universal
understanding of marriage is?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Okay, us what?
The universal understanding ofmarriage is okay.
In a nutshell, no matter whereI've ever gone in the world, the
inhabitants of that land knowwhat to expect from their men.
They know what to expect fromtheir women.
Okay, so much so to the pointthat even here in america, what
they call us the great meltingpot, this, this country, is not
integrated.
No, it's integrated in the factthat in this geographical
(09:24):
region of the world, we have alot of different, diverse
cultures living here.
Right, but still theoverwhelming majority of
cultures.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
They don't mix, you know um, we went from a society
that was communal, like you grewup, exactly, to everybody got
to get their own, you know, andso that was the start of that
fracturing that you talk about.
I mean, I still look at theAsian culture, the Hispanic
culture.
One of the reasons, in myopinion, that they do thrive is
(09:53):
that they are still communal.
Right, they come over here andthey bring the communal aspect
and instead of just being inthose little small house, they
come over here, pool their moneytogether and get a big house,
and then it's comfortable foreverybody.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Same playbook divide and conquer.
You turn around and you find away to get the black woman to
put the black man out of thehouse.
I hate it when black men andwomen in fight try to compare
their plights, because thereain't supposed to be any plights
to compare.
It's supposed to be the blackplight.
It's supposed to be the blackplight.
People don't take intoconsideration that, even without
women and I try to explain thisto black women you still cannot
(10:35):
compare not downplayinganything that has happened to
black women historically andstill continues to happen to
this day.
You still can't compare it towhat black men go through.
It pissed me off to the highestof positivity when I went to the
World Medical Conference inMoscow, russia, in 2018.
Festivity when I went to theWorld Medical Conference in
Moscow, russia, in 2018.
Some of the greatest minds onthe planet coming out, even
though they was dropping facts.
It just wrecked me to my coreto hear that African-American
women in America have hadaborted more babies than the
(10:57):
whole entire internationalabortion community.
I sit back today, in 2025, andsay one of the reasons why
African-icans got the highestrate of divorce, separation and
domestic violence is because thefact of this, when there is no
universal understanding.
You don't.
Your average black woman don'tknow what to expect from a black
(11:18):
man unless she goes towardssomething negative.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Okay, question what is it that they should expect?
Speaker 3 (11:23):
certain principles that you think should be okay,
or what, or what do you feellike it was so, so you didn't
define our race.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Okay, there has to be a universal understanding of
certain things.
What I mean by universalunderstanding?
No one would ever dispute thatwater's wet right, that fire is
hot, that we need to drink waterfor hydration, that we need to
eat to live.
These are all universal factors.
When you have cultures that arehundreds of thousands of years
old, they were able to give theroom and space to grow and
(11:53):
understand, grow and evolve intothese universal understandings,
right down to how all thesedifferent cultures deal and
interact between the sexes, thegenders.
Now, here in America, youraverage black man, your average
black woman, they're not evenrelationship or marriage
orientated individuals.
You may possess the desire tobe in a relationship.
(12:13):
You may possess the desire tobe married.
America is the most mentally,physically, spiritually,
sexually and financiallydysfunctional society on the
planet by grand design, andafrican americans, unfortunately
, are the greatest inheritors ofamerica's dysfunction.
And I'll tell you why americais so dysfunctional because
(12:35):
american culture has very tolittle to no oversight,
intervention nor accountabilityover a period of time that it
becomes internalized andnormalized.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
So part of what you're saying, I think and you
can correct me if I'm wrong isthat you can get married and
there's no penalty for notstaying married.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
No, even before that it don't even get that close.
What has escaped us asindividuals is, if I'm
interacting with a woman to saythat I'm ready to be in a
relationship, to say I want tobe married, I'm saying I have
succumbed to a place in my lifewhere I am ready to positively
impact and motivate anotherhuman being on a mental,
(13:17):
physical, spiritual, sexual andfinancial level.
Those are the five principlesin which men and women deal and
interact.
Now guess what Does everybodymake?
The football team.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
No.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Everybody make the basketball team?
No.
Does everybody get to graduatefrom MIT?
No, everybody get to work forNASA.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
No.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
But when you sit up here talking about what a
relationship is, that's harderthan any of those assignments.
What exactly is a realrelationship?
A real relationship is when aman and woman of mutual
attraction and of like mindscomes together and formulates a
committable bond, a union inwhich the man and the woman
(13:57):
makes a mental, physical,spiritual, sexual and financial
contribution to that union andgrowing it into a power couple
that hopefully leads to marriage.
When I sit back and look atinto a power couple that
hopefully leads to marriage,when I sit back and look at all
these indigenous societies thatI've studied and visited over
the years.
When those kids grow up,they're raised through rites of
passage.
The boys come to a place wherethey're no longer being boys and
(14:17):
they're acknowledged as men inthe eyes of their whole society,
family and village.
Same thing with the girls.
And then, after they come,become adults, young adults,
they go out into a society.
They have a uniformed mental,physical and spiritual society
that holds those childrenaccountable to the teachings of
the parent or parents.
When here in America we raiseour children to the very best of
(14:40):
our ability, which I did, mykids was on the straight and
narrow the whole time.
They was under my roof.
But guess what?
I underestimated the power ofthe internet.
I underestimated the power ofsociety.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yeah, and its influence.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
That's a huge influence I'm saying it is
because you got a man and awoman over here.
They're coming together withthe intent of wanting to be in a
relationship.
They try to predicate thisrelationship on sex and money
too.
Too many negative influences.
All these influences pertain torelationships as things that
people are trying to emulatethrough music, movies, reality
(15:13):
shows.
There's nothing of substancethere that has laid a
foundational and structuralunderstanding of what a man's
role is as a man in relation tohimself, who he is to be for the
woman and, if children comeinto place as the man, how he is
to evolve into a father and theposition he wants to play.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
So, having heard that you're right right Because I
look at society, I look atcertain influences and all these
different things and even asadults, we are being coached,
trained and subjugated to allthese different things that
we're seeing.
So what principles are youbringing in your teachings to
remediate that particularsituation, since men don't
(15:52):
exactly know what they'resupposed to be bringing?
Speaker 1 (15:54):
We as a culture, we're left to have to fend for
ourselves across the board.
When you listen to usarticulate, every other word out
of our mouths is what we think,feel, believe or have faith in.
Now, what do all those wordshave in common?
They're all predicated on afoundation of uncertainty.
Explain that, I think.
(16:14):
Yeah, that's a good point Ifeel, I believe, I have faith in
it's from your perspective.
All four of them are predicatedon.
No, I'm not giving aperspective, that's a fact.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Well, you don't know Right.
No, no, no.
What I'm saying is that they'recoming from your perspective of
truly not knowing Right, so youdon't know for certain.
So then, this is how you feelabout it versus.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
No, I'm actually talking about in the word.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
I feel that I have faith in this.
That's what their lead is.
See, when I go outside theUnited States, life is not
predicated on what you think,feel, believe or have faith in.
Life out there is predicated onwhat you know, what you don't
know, what you can do and whatyou can manifest, because at the
end of the day, you can't dowhat you don't know.
(17:06):
Say, is IJ home, and I say Ibelieve he's down at the
playground.
That means I am uncertain tohis whereabouts.
The word believe is rumors,hearsay, conjecture, not facts.
If you look at the wordknowledge, the first word in
knowledge is no, not n-o, butk-n-o-w, a literary marker, an
indication that those who haveacquired knowledge know.
So when you sit back and lookat people who articulate on a
consistent and constant basisthe whole lifespan and I think I
(17:28):
feel I believe I have faith inwhen you sit down and have a
conversation with them and youask them what it is that they
actually and factually know, cando and manifest, you get
crickets.
And one of the things that Inotice is this what reinforces
is one thing that reinforcesuncertainty and that's fear.
So when you sit back and lookat our people over the past 248
(17:53):
years, and you see this lack ofunity.
You see this lack of mental,physical, spiritual, sexual and
financial growth and evolution.
How are we supposed to grow andevolve like everybody else when
you occupy in a consistent andconstant state of uncertainty
and fear?
But it's very easy to putinstill fear in a person that
doesn't know.
If you know something, check itout, like check out this.
(18:15):
You say he had a big dog.
You walk in here.
You know that dog don't bite,right, you don't fear it.
I walk in behind you.
I see the dog.
I have no knowledge that thatdog don't bark but don't don't
bite it.
I walk in behind you.
I see the dog.
I have no knowledge that thatdog don't bark but don't bite.
Now I got fear.
You don't have it because youhave the knowledge of knowing
the dog don't bite.
And it's the same thing outwithin our society.
The more a person learns, oneof the things that has empowered
(18:37):
me, and as a, as a man of color, is my ability to learn, grow
and evolve, and it's the samething.
What's going on with theserelationships?
I'm sitting up here askingcouples that are trying to come
together questions that nobodyhas ever even asked them before.
I sit there and I interview thewoman by herself, man by
herself, both together, and Iask the woman let me ask you a
(18:58):
question how were you raised?
Have you actually and factuallybeen raised, to be anybody's
husband?
Have you been raised?
Speaker 3 (19:07):
to be anybody's mother.
So I got a theory on that Right.
So this is my second marriage,right.
Me and my wife have beentogether total 20 years.
We celebrate our 18th year ofmarriage next month.
So intentionally Right, Istarted to after my first
marriage.
Just going back through myhistory, my dad's been married
(19:27):
five times.
My mom's been married three.
You said five times.
My dad was married five times.
My dad passed at 97.
During my bachelor party at myfirst marriage, my brother was
like dad, why don't you tell himyou know what it's like to be
successful or have a successfulmarriage?
And my dad looked at my brotherlike he was crazy.
He was like I can't tell himhow to be successful.
He's like I was married fivetimes.
(19:48):
I can't tell him how to be.
I can't tell him how to keepher.
I can tell him how to get ridof her.
And everybody in the car juststarted laughing, right, and so
you know I broke the ice.
He was like why?
Why, you say that?
I said because you were marriedfive times.
He said well, why would thatmake me lucky?
He was perplexed.
I said because you found fivewomen that you actually loved
(20:10):
enough to marry.
I can't even find five I like.
And the look on his face, Imean I'm telling you and he
laughed at it but I was deadserious.
I mean, still to this day Ican't tell you of five women
that I will have loved orthought enough of to marry,
besides the two that I marriedand the first one.
(20:30):
I wouldn't call it quoteunquote a mistake, but it just
didn't work out.
You know it wasn't like themost amicable.
I mean, what I'm saying is notlike most situations where it
was a disharmonious breakup,right, it just circumstances
just took us apart.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
And that's why I'm hoping that this book you know
who Took my Manhood and Left MeAll Alone With Her Tell us about
the book.
Well, like I said, the bookbasically gets some.
It puts things in perspectiveand give people something to sit
with.
Okay, when you're in survivalmode 24, 7, 365, it's just
reactionary, reactionary,reactionary.
(21:14):
Then, on top of it, you live ina villageless society.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
There's no more speaking strength to power.
So I want to go back to mypoint in telling y'all that
story.
The point is my second marriagewith my second wife.
Her parents were married 30years.
My first wife, her parents werelike mine, so we were both from
homes where we never saw asuccessful marriage and I think
and I don't even think I feellike the reason why me and my
wife are successful is becauseshe came from a household where
(21:36):
her parents were married for along time.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
The book to me is so important because it gives
generations time to sit with it,all this whole work.
Who took my manhood and left meall alone with her?
That's exactly where we are.
You got a lot of broken men nowthat are in relationships.
He's now left alone with thewoman the woman People don't
take.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
So who's left alone?
With the woman, the man?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Like right now.
Look at how many, as timeprogressed to our culture, this
is what I've seen.
I see sisters that got thedegrees.
The sister's pretty, she got anice body, she's gainfully
employed, she's got a house orapartment, a car, some material
treatments.
She's got a bank account,savings account, 401k.
She had all that my wholeentire life.
I've seen good girls with badboys.
(22:22):
Yeah, she had all that my wholeentire life.
I've seen good girls with badboys.
Yeah, the girl is out theregoing to Spelman College, this,
this, this, that and third buther boyfriend, he in them
streets.
He's a dope boy.
It coupled up Right, but hedon't.
He, but his car is in her nameGoing through that mass
incarceration, coming out ofthat mass incarceration.
If you needed to find a blackman, he was always entrenched
underneath a black woman.
And even now, in 2025, look howthey didn't broke that up.
(22:51):
I see brothers now coming homefrom jail.
They don't have no woman to goslide up on the.
Now the drugs is pharmaceutical.
Now the cars you can't stealthem hard to get your hands on
the gun.
Some people's families havepassed away.
You got men out here on thesestreets.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
They out here fending for themselves well, we don't
even have the number of childrenthat we used to have no so that
kind of forced the familydynamic together because you had
to have some help in raisingyour kids right.
Also, you had the one parenthousehold.
One parent would work and oneparent would be at home raising
kids.
Now, the way the economicsystem is, it forces both
(23:22):
parents to work but now 43percent of black women don't
even want kids right, becausethey don't have time, they're
working they want a career in abody right.
It ain't even the music videos,no more.
It's just the fact that I cango on instagram and this person
is is uh, got you know abrazilian butt lift, or she's
got breast, or everything isabout looks, but look at how our
(23:45):
women have become totally andvirtually disconnect from the.
The reason it's but it's.
It goes back to even when yeah,but when I'm saying it's 40s
and 50s where they were seeingthese white women and they went
from a natural hair to-.
No, but I'm not even talkingabout that I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
how can, in only 248 years, how can any black woman
mentally detached from theunderstanding of why black men
are in the mental, physical,spiritual and financial
situation they're in?
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Question.
So one of the principles thatyou touched on in the book is
taking the men and their poweraway.
What's another principle andwhat's a positive outlook that
you touched on in the book istaking the men and their power
away.
What's another principle andwhat's a positive outlook that
you have on the book?
Speaker 1 (24:27):
The economic side of it.
No one has gone above andbeyond the call of duty to make
sure that black men wereproperly educated.
No one has gone above andbeyond to make sure that there
was a transition from a boy to aman and what it means to be a
man and how you will be heldaccountable as a man.
See, what makes a teacher ateacher is that a teacher can
(24:49):
assess a student and be clear inthat teacher's mind of what
that student knows, what thatstudent does not know, what that
student needs to know in realtime.
You know I'm saying and how toprioritize what that student
needs to know in real time.
You know what I'm saying andhow to prioritize what that
student needs to know.
I investigated 217 grassrootsorganizations when I came to
(25:09):
Georgia in 2016, and I wasdisappointed when only seven of
them was really doing the work.
You have a lot of individualsout here cloud chasing.
You have a lot of individualsout here putting themselves in
positions.
But see, the thing about it isI sit back and I look at the
fundamentals.
As soon as I encounter a man, ayoung man or a young woman, the
(25:30):
three phases of life pop up inmy head.
The three phases of life isself-identity, self-empowerment
and the longest running phase ofa being's life, self-mastery.
We have so many good kids outhere, girls and boys, but they
don't have no foundation, nostructure, no agenda.
See what?
What I've learned?
What breaks a person out ofsurvival mode?
Speaker 3 (25:52):
survival mode goes bye-bye once they acquire an
agenda when I started to have apurpose, right when I started
teaching men and women about thefive point principle lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
I live a five point principle lifestyle.
The five point principlelifestyle is daily, cognizant
mental, physical, spiritual,sexual and financial growth and
evolution.
Because I have that agenda,that's my routine every day.
I have patterns what my mentalis.
I got certain books that I read.
I got certain books that I read, certain audible books that I
(26:24):
read, state of meditation andproper prayer, me myself.
One of the reasons why I'msingle right now is because,
again, everything is so twisted.
A lot of women say they want tobe in a relationship, but how
it figuratively plays out it'sreally you're looking for
companionship because arelationship is too much work.
When I say, when I say topeople that a real relationship
(26:45):
is when a man and woman ofmutual attraction and of like
minds comes together andformulates a committable bond, a
union in which the man and thewoman makes a mental, physical,
spiritual, sexual and financialcontribution to that union and
growing it into a power couplethat leads to marriage, they sit
there looking at me like myhead just split open.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
That's a great description, thank you, that's
really good, but that's part ofthe 50%.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Why 50% of them need to divorce?
Because they only might get tothe physical.
They hardly ever get to themental.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Well, not just that, but I think that what he's-.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
They got physical and financial.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
I think what he's hit on that, I think, is impactful.
Is you want something right?
Right is impactful.
Is you want something?
right right, cool, what is itexactly like?
You know the name of it youheard about.
What is it?
Because if you can't describeit, then are you sure you want
it now if I prescribe it to you,which is what you're doing?
It's like well, look, you don'thave your own description and
maybe they do.
Right, not everyone has thesame description.
(27:36):
You do, but some people might,and it could be a profound, a
very powerful one, but mostpeople don't because they never
think about it so do me a favor.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
I want you to break down the difference between
companionship and a relationshipright, to give people a
foundation on the differencebetween the two right now how
I've seen companionship play outin the united states.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Here you got a brother and sister, maybe they
in their late 40s.
She didn't work hard,sacrificed and invested wisely.
Now they you know they changinggears.
She's got her 401k, you know,he got his, and they're seeking
exactly that companionshipSomeone to spend some quality
time, get some quality attention, to get out here and travel.
You know what I'm saying.
Their money situation is set.
(28:21):
They got their.
You know saying their moneysituation is set, they got they.
You know their retirements andall that kind of stuff.
That's all set.
The only thing that's missing isa companion.
So a companion for what purpose?
Not do this shit alone?
Exactly a companion to spendtime with, to travel.
You know saying to you know,have someone to be with.
Now, when you talk about arelationship that's still work,
(28:42):
we're still.
Now you might have a man or awoman who just ain't where they
want to be.
They still got student loans onthe table.
Now we got to come together andlay the foundation and
structure that's going to helpus to grow and evolve in our
time together, as well as takethese student loans down,
improve our mental health,maintain our physical health,
(29:02):
work out exercise.
See, that goes back to thatuniversal understanding.
If everybody knew that arelationship was all about
mental, physical, spiritual,sexual and financial growth and
evolution.
If you grew up with thatunderstanding and a woman goes
out and she meets a man, andwhen she meets the man, that's
all he's talking about.
Now she knows, I got the rightman.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
So I got a theory on some of what you're saying.
So for me, if I ever had to getmarried again for whatever
reason I know I'm not lookingfor a relationship Right,
Because you're right, it's toomuch work.
The biggest thing that I thinkpeople get into when they're
dating is they always think thatthey have to be in a
relationship and you can be coolwith companionship, and a lot
(29:45):
of people now are developingthat or starting to figure that
out, and that's why I think alot of people aren't getting
married.
And then when they go from,let's say, for example, they
dated somebody for five yearsbut everybody pressures them
into marriage and then themarriage falls apart because
they were fine as companions butthey weren't set up to have a
relationship.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Right, but then again it's also going back to words
and words being energetic.
You saying that brings my uncleto mind.
My uncle was with one younglady for three years.
Everything was fine I meanliterally fine.
He's a cool dude.
They got married.
They couldn't stay married 24months.
He turned around and got withanother young lady.
So what changed?
Check it out around and gotwith another young lady.
So what changed?
Check it out.
He got with another young lady.
They was together for fiveyears.
(30:27):
Only thing that was missing wasa ring on the finger.
It's just something about Acommitment.
That's what it's.
No, but see, the thing about itis it's almost like he's
allergic to metal.
No, but like it happened.
Three times he got with threedifferent women and all three of
those relationships ended uponmarriage.
But now he's in the fourthrelationship.
(30:49):
Ok, now him and his girl beentogether 30 some years because
he didn't get married.
Yeah, if a man and woman committo one another, living under the
same roof, one another, theypaying bills, they procreating,
that's marriage.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Do you feel that, based on what you just said,
that marriage itself happens tobe an external contract, whereas
if you do it without themarriage, it's an internal
contract between me and you?
So we could last 30 years andbe perfectly fine.
But the second someone elseputs the government society puts
a strength on it or puts rulesupon it.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
It falls apart because you're not built to do
that Right, because now, here itcomes, he has his life set up
as a profit, non-profit andprivate family estate trust.
Her name is on the roster.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
any event, something happens so she's taking care of.
She's taking care of, so it'snot.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
It's not a cop out to say well you know like I don't
want her to get exactly whateverit just puts things in natural
order and perspective withoutthe outside interferences.
You got a lot of people outhere.
They have pressure and anxietywhen it comes down to marriage
because if this doesn't work outunder the umbrella of this form
of marriage, this woman cantake me for everything I got.
(31:58):
I at least could have.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Let's see that the thing that people don't
understand about marriage andI've said this before on the
podcast Marriage is apartnership.
And to a certain extent in anypartnership is like a business
relationship.
If you go into business withsomebody, the minute we disagree
and we want to go our separateways.
It's similar to a marriage.
Is we got to figure out whoseassets you know?
(32:21):
What part are you taking, whatpart am I taking before we
dissolve?
And if people looked atmarriage the same way, they
would be more selective on whothey went into a partnership
with.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Well, that's the whole versus.
But that's.
You just hit the situation onthe head.
See, the thing about it ispeople just throwing shit up
against the wall to wait to seewhat sticks because they are
involved with their emotions andlove there's no foundation
structure or agenda connected totheir wants, needs and desires.
Even look at the power of words.
It's a world of differencebetween the mentality of a woman
(32:52):
who sees a man as a want versusa woman who sees a man as a
need.
Yes, Like for instance, I justtold, one of my homegirls that's
powerful.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Say that one again In their needs A woman who sees a
man as a want.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Yeah, it's a world of difference between a woman who
sees a man as a want than a need, correct?
I'm saying like, for instance,one of my homegirls she's
beautiful sister coming apart atthe seams the other night
because she don't understand whythese relationships ain't
working out.
I said the reason why yourrelationships are not working
out is because you pursue a manas a want.
She said, well, yeah, he is awant.
I said no, he's not.
I said God doesn need eachother.
(33:25):
A man and a woman need to be onthe same list with water, air
and food.
I said because with you, everytime I talk to you, you're
always pursuing some cat basedon what it is about, the things
about him that make you want him.
And then you end up getting ina relationship with this dude
and within 90 days to six monthsnine months tops, you all
disgruntled, you all upset andyou're all discombobulated.
(33:46):
Why?
Because nine months into therelationship, your needs have
not been met.
And the reason why your needsare not being met is because
becoming a union with him wasnot predicated on your needs.
It was predicated on everythingabout him that you wanted.
I said if women use their needsas a measuring stick, it doesn't
matter how tall, dark or is howbig his penis is, how much
(34:07):
money he got or nothing.
If you got a list of needs and,after you take out a position,
a certain amount of time toacquire understanding, this man
can supply those needs.
When you discover that hecannot, it doesn't matter what
he looks like or what he gotgoing on.
You vacate that situation.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
David, do you think that, especially in today's norm
climate, et cetera, with womenbeing more self-sufficient, et
cetera, you think that there isa part of them that doesn't
allow them to say I need this orI need this person?
You know what I mean, becausewhat I'm saying is look, I could
(34:45):
want him, but if I need him, itmeans I'm giving up a part of
myself.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
And they're afraid.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Well, yeah, not just that, but they're afraid of
becoming dependent on thisperson, or even vulnerable in
that sense, because if thatperson stops, changes their mind
, because they evolve indifferent ways, right, and they
go their ways, or whatever it isthen they feel that there is a
part of them that is destroyed.
Do you think that's why theyare reluctant to give up that
part of them, to say that theyneed a man rather than they want
a man?
Speaker 1 (35:14):
Well, that's a part of it.
But also you got to understandsomething.
You have black women whoautomatically feel that they are
superior to a black man, thatthey have more education than To
be educated means you went toan institution or a college and
you walk around with half a headof theory and you don't know if
the theories that you havelearned are even real until you
apply them and witness theirresolve.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
And most people won't .
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Exactly Now.
When it comes down to knowledge, that means you have acquired
an understanding, you haveapplied that understanding, you
have witnesses, resolve, overand over enough to know that it
works.
We now live in a time wherewomen see men with a certain
level of disrespect and disdain,so I want to clarify that,
because this is all.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
this has been my point and every time I bring it
up to a black woman it's like alight bulb goes on in their head
.
I said I met white women, asianwomen, hispanic women.
I never hear a Hispanic, whiteor Asian woman say I don't need
a man, exactly.
That is that.
That is that African AmericanAfrican.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
American women are the first race of women on the
planet to ever run that campaignso widespread that it's
globally known Like.
Right now here in the UnitedStates there's over 800 private
colonies.
I know about these coloniesbecause I see these people come
into these different hospitalsand different clinics.
Are they getting medicalattention?
I mean coming in there withthree and four wives and they
(36:34):
got a whole bushel of children.
People have no understandingwhat's going on here.
It's funny to me that even righthere in Georgia there are 16
white men who went down to SouthAfrica and came back with 16
South African girls.
But you know what they did.
They went out and they createdan organization.
They bought a piece of propertyand they built a community like
this on that property.
(36:55):
And those men, you know, late40s, early 50s, got money, been
working hard, sacrificing,wanted to procreate their legacy
and they turned around and wentto South Africa and got
themselves some wives and cameback over here.
See, a lot of women don'tunderstand.
The man is the franchise.
The man has the last name.
He has the Y chromosome, he hasX chromosome.
(37:15):
The woman is supposed to comeinto into this union as being a
helpmate, to lay the foundationand structure of this dynasty
with offspring procreation.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Is that the premise of what you're writing about and
what you're teaching?
Speaker 1 (37:28):
well, it's one of them type of things is I'm
trying to, as most delicately aspossible, try to bring things
back into perspective, intobalance but can you see how the
way that's phrased would not bepotentially well received?
I understand that.
But see, the thing about it iswhat I also understand, though I
don't jump through hoopsanymore.
Yeah, because back in the day,red Fox Dick Gregory was one of
(37:50):
my mentors the people wasunapologetic.
They say what they want to say.
Same thing with Louis Farrakhan.
People say what they say.
You know, no matter who, I canget anything from anybody.
I take the meat and I spit outthe bones.
Right now we live in thissociety because people are not
(38:12):
taken into the position, takeninto the perspective how people
are being cellularly victimized.
You know I'm saying that's whyyou have all this
hypersensitivity.
You know, nobody can't, youcan't have a conversation
without somebody's feelingsgetting hurt.
See this, we are in an agitatedsociety, but it's very hard to
navigate your daily life ifyou're not in the know so let me
ask you a question when did youdevelop your theory for, I
guess, pegging order for men andwomen?
Okay, well, in Africa there's 36African indigenous spiritual
(38:36):
systems that make up the wholeglobal spiritual pantheon, the
whole body.
In Nigeria they have somethingcalled Ifa.
There's something called the256 Odu, ifaah.
We're going to call each one ofthose 256 odoo's an
encyclopedia, okay, okay, eachone of them 256 is a
encyclopedia.
Now, each one of the 256 odoo'sare about 1500 telephone books
(39:01):
thick.
Each one of them, each one, isabout 1500,500 telephone books.
Ifa in its written form is40,000 years old.
So how do you get through thatmuch information?
You can't.
And let me tell you how.
God don't make no mistakes.
The reason why you don't getthrough that much is because
everyone born into Ifa receivesa sign, receives an Odu.
(39:23):
Just like you got a birthmark,you're born under a certain Odu.
One of those 256 Odu's waspulled on your birth and then
you are signed certain aspectsof your own Odu to use that
information to lay thefoundation and structure of your
life, mentally, physically andspiritually.
And to be clear, these Odu'sare books, they're writings.
(39:44):
The first Odu is Ejiope.
Ok, so Ejiope.
They expounded on Ejiope.
They said you can live athousand lifetimes and still
can't read all the Ejiope.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
Yeah, I mean not if it's 1,500 phone books.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
No yeah, but it's 40,000 years of writing.
The crazy thing is you got 4million human existing years on
the planet.
Right Before the 40,000 years,we lived in an oral society
where individuals were sobrilliant they used to work
around with this information intheir head.
We live in a society thatbenefits off of the good, the
(40:19):
bad, the right, the wrong, theugly and the different.
They got a way that they'regoing to profit from any
situation or circumstance.
When it comes down to theserelationships, it's the same
thing.
These women are out hererunning recluse as well as the
men are out here running recluse, operating at their lowest
vibration.
Because who's teaching them?
Nothing from nothing leavesnothing.
I see her, I want to be withher.
(40:39):
The only thing he knows is OK,she likes sex and money.
I like sex and money.
Outside of sex and money, I'mgoing to try to inflict my will
on her and she's gonna try toflick her will on me, and then
it turns into this wholeinfighting type situation versus
right now, here in, even righthere in America.
You ain't got to go outside thecountry.
(41:00):
I got people telling me thatthe reason why I'm still single
is because I'm waiting on ablack woman.
That's why you told me thatrecently.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
What is the reason you are still single?
Speaker 1 (41:09):
Well.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
I think that's a stupid question.
By the way, I'm asking itknowing full well.
It's a stupid question becauseI hate when I hear that, because
I've heard women say this guyis this, this and that, still
single.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
You know, knowing all this full well, I'm just going
to ask you, if I may why are yousingle?
It's very sad and dishearteningthat if I right now, in this
moment, decided to date outsidemy race, I can get in a
relationship like that.
Problem is, I know I'm a goodjudge of character because from
2016 to present, anytime I'mmoved to actually approach a
woman in public, they alwaysmarry.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
So you approach the one that obviously but it
doesn't happen.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
A lot value in.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Basically she's a prize, right it doesn't happen a
lot, but it has more thanhappened enough to substantiate
that I am clear in myunderstanding of what a black
woman is, of quality andsubstance, caliber, good
character, family and career,because every time I approach
one, oh thank you they allflattered.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
I'm married she wasn't wearing the ring, or you
didn't look at her.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
A lot of times I wasn't looking.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
I just wasn't looking .
Yeah, but would you dateoutside of your race?
Speaker 1 (42:15):
I'm tangling with that now.
But now what's going on, whichis really ironic that y'all
brought this up.
I got a little tour coming upsoon, so I'm going to go down.
One of my professors, one of mymentors this guy's like a
father to me he told me straightup and down recently.
He said look man.
He said do like you wasn'tmeant to be by yourself.
He said I'm supposed to begoing to South Africa in July.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
You're going to get yourself 16 wives.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
No, no, no.
So are you at that stage inyour life where you cool with
companionship or are youlegitimately looking to be
married?
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Well, no, I'm actually looking to be in a
relationship.
But see, the thing about it isyou got to understand where
you're at.
If I'm going to stay here inAmerica, it's going to be
companionship.
I meet more women here inAmerica that are companionship
oriented than relationshiporiented, and abroad I meet more
women who are relationshiporiented than companionship
(43:07):
oriented.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
I get the difference.
We all agree I think all threeof us especially when Leon a
little earlier said no, like ifyou were to get to do it all
over again he'd look forcompanionship.
I would actually look for arelationship, because I get both
, because in the relationshipyou also have companionship?
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
You do get both, and I feel like the companionship
itself is very volatile, in thesense that they're there for a
reason and I better not get sickthat one's not gonna wipe your
ass it's a companionship.
So you know what I just wentthrough yeah, yeah, yeah of
course, that's what I'm sayinglike, so you have that
relationship you're talkingabout in the future.
But I'm saying like, for me, ifI'm gonna, just like you know,
(43:44):
lock it down with someone, itneeds to be a relationship every
single time.
Oh, I don't need it.
I'm cool with the casualencounters and just moving on
with my world and not have thefalse sense of security with you
when you're not really here.
There's always this naggingthing where I feel like at the
first sign of trouble you'regone.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Let me give you an example.
One of my best friends was inlove with his children's mother.
Remember when I told you, whenyou care more about somebody
than they care about you, itequals resentment.
Well, she resented him for nomatter, you know, no matter how
disrespectful she was, no matterwhat she did.
She resented him for alwaysseeing the better side of her
and still wanting to pursue thatright.
(44:22):
Yeah, that's crazy.
So she got to a point that sheliterally tried to destroy him.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
She's like what else do I have to do?
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Exactly, she literally tried to destroy him.
So he got to a place with me.
I was like bro, come on now,fat lady and son, bro, it's
getting violent, it's gettingreally toxic.
So he came out right.
So I needed to change, came outof the relationship.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Yeah, yeah, he came out of the relationship.
Yeah, he came out of therelationship.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
And he's a brilliant brother.
You know what I'm saying.
So this is what I did.
I said I got to go travel.
I want you to come with me Tookthat brother to Uganda and he
met a Ugandan sister bro.
And it was this beautifulsister bro.
I even saw her.
She was just out there, bro,the sun was shining and all the
colors and pretty white teeth,and he just kept looking at her.
She kept blushing and smiling,blushing and smiling, and it
(45:08):
happened.
Just that simple, yeah, thatbrother.
They got together.
He was going back and forthover there spending time with
her.
He put her through nursingschool.
They I just came out of nursingschool, they turned around and
started some kind of nursinghome type situation, some kind
of business with nursing.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
You know saying yeah they've been together now like
18 years that's beautiful, thatis awesome and no hiccups.
So I got to go back on onething that I kind of want to
challenge you a little bit,david, because there was a lot
to pull from.
I'm going to say 80% of it feltnot preachy, not in a bad sense
, but whether it's educationalon a soapbox or whatever, it is
(45:47):
educational on a soapbox orwhatever it is where there was a
whole lot of love for the blackcommunity being talked about.
You want to grab everyone bythe collar, it feels like, and
wake everybody up and shake themup and go wake up right.
You talked about the, thecommunity.
You talked about the village,you talked about our
relationships and all thesedifferent things.
But when I asked you a secondago, would you date outside your
race, I expected a resoundinghell.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
No, it seems like you're open to it.
Explain that one.
Well, it depends.
Let me expound on it.
Could I see myself when you saydating outside your race?
Let's put it into perspective.
I can go out there and dateother melanated races.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
Okay.
When I say outside your race, Idon't mean outside of the
nationality, when I think ofblack, I think of black.
I think of black everywhere onthe whole, okay, well, no right,
no.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Jamaican, haitian, ethiopian no you know I can't do
yasamaris.
That's why I haven't.
Okay, that's why I'm 57 andsingle.
Okay, because I can't.
And the reason why I can't istoo many things play back.
I used to be involved insporting programs where I see
the overwhelming majority ofthese sporting prospects coming
up and get completely burned tothe ground and destroyed before
they can even clear collegedealing with them.
You know what I'm saying.
And then, on top of that, Icome from a.
(46:52):
I come from a very enrichedculture family.
The matriarchs of my family man.
They poured into me.
You know what I'm saying.
They really dotted, I's crossedT's connected dots and really
gave my life foundation,structure and purpose gave my
life foundation, structure andpurpose.
Speaker 3 (47:11):
My last question for you is so we're doing a podcast
on relationships and you gavethem five principles that they
can follow in determiningwhether they're looking for a
relationship versuscompanionship.
What other suggestion or toolwould you give generations that
are coming behind and are juststarting to date, that are just
starting to look atcompanionship versus
relationship?
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Well, I would tell any person to first self-reflect
.
If you don't possess theability or the drive or the
desire to possibly impact yoursignificant other in a committed
, a constant and committedeffort to see them to be, help
them to become a better personmentally, physically,
spiritually, sexually andfinancially you're a companion,
you're not a relationship person.
Speaker 2 (47:53):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Any individual who has succumbed to that deep,
intimate, mental, physical,spiritual, sexual and financial
side of themselves, to the pointthat they have put in the work
and they see that their life isnot perfect but their life is
functional and it's progressivein those five areas and now
you're ready to commit tosomeone.
(48:15):
You are definitely arelationship-orientated
individual.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
So what's the makeup of your children?
You got five, you said.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
Yeah, three boys two girls.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
What do you tell your daughters?
Speaker 1 (48:25):
Well, my daughters, I'm hard on the girls.
It's very easy to throw adefense to a society, the
society's offense.
I told him, any man who comesyour way, that's, you know,
saying just structured and sex,money and trying to control you
or inflict his will or ideologyway of thinking on you, that's
not the man for you.
(48:45):
Men and women deal and interacton five principles on a
consistent and constant basis,consciously or subconsciously.
Any individual who does notoperate with a life's agenda
that operates within the growthand progression of those five
things are operating in a mentalstate of survival.
You don't want to deal withpeople who are surviving, you
want to deal with individualswho are living.
(49:06):
And in order to live, one mustgrow and one must be progressive
.
And in the five areas in whichwe, as individuals deal and
interact, is that mental,physical, spiritual, sexual and
financial.
And I told him straight up anddown it doesn't start when you
get into a relationship.
You have to start dot nines,cross and T's on doing the work
for yourself.
Are you rational or irrational?
(49:28):
Irrational, are you strong orweak?
Ask yourself do you have commonsense or do you not have common
sense?
See, one of the biggest issuesI've seen in america is the
whole concept of fake it tillyou make it and people not being
able to be honest withthemselves.
Look, you know enough to thinkthat you're right, but you just
don't know enough to know thatyou're right, but you just don't
know enough to know that you'rewrong.
(49:49):
You know what I'm saying wedon't live in that realm, no
more that lane of critical andconstructive thinking, that lane
of constructive criticism.
It's not like that, no more.
So many people, when you speakagainst anything, they think
it's like a personal attack.
They don't see it as a growingmoment.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
When's the book coming out?
Speaker 1 (50:08):
Hopefully September.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
Okay, September this year, 2025.
Speaker 1 (50:12):
Yeah, I really need to.
I don't maybe I don't know ifyou could help or not, but you
know I need to really tap into,like the graphic artist
community.
I did a lot of researchrecently because I'm I'm at the
place, I'm working on the coverof the book and I noticed by
looking at a lot of the New YorkTimes bestsellers, statement
books got words, not pictures.
(50:32):
So that whole who took mymanhood and left me all along
with her, that's like astatement.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
You know what?
I'm saying it's a question buta hell of a statement.
Speaker 1 (50:40):
Yeah, well, you know what I'm saying, but it would be
on a book in written form.
That would not be somethingthat you put a graphic.
So 27 different publishingcompanies came my way and they
really didn't do anything butupset me for people to sit there
very cool, calm andcollectively and tell you they
want 78% of your royalties Forthe book.
I mean, yeah, I mean, thelowest amount of royalties
somebody asked for was 40%.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
Why don't you self-publish?
Speaker 1 (51:03):
That's exactly where I'm at now.
Speaker 2 (51:04):
Okay, For people who want to reach out and work with
you.
How will they find you?
Speaker 1 (51:10):
Well, the best way to find me right now will be by
way of email.
My email address is the3zupanat protonme.
That's protonme, that's thebest way to get-N?
Dot me.
That's Proton.
Okay, dot me.
That's the best way to get incontact with me.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
Gotcha.
Well, I have that.
I'll make sure it's added tothe show notes, yeah.
I appreciate it.
So anybody listening can justgo ahead and check it out.
So if someone maybe like agraphic designer or someone else
wants to reach out or someonewho just wants to challenge you,
earlier today you volunteeredto finish out the show and do
the outro.
Yeah, I did, and because yousound just a little bit to me
(51:52):
like denzel, you can just goahead and read that.
Speaker 1 (51:53):
I texted it to you already okay, everybody out
there, please support us byfollowing the show.
Leave us a five-star review onapple podcast.
Thank you so much for listening.
We'll catch you next week whenwe share conversations
surrounding real issues we dealwith every day Manhood matters.
(52:15):
We're out.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
I'll take your band on that, though you even drive.
You're just ready A podcast forall but a point of view.
I said because with you, every time I talk to you,
you're always pursuing some cat,based on what it is about, the
things about him that make youwant him.
And within 90 days to sixmonths nine months tops you all
disgruntled and you alldiscombobulated.
Why?
Because nine months into therelationship, your needs have
not been met.
And the reason why your needsare not being met is because
(00:21):
becoming a union with him wasnot predicated on your needs.
It was predicated on everythingabout him that you wanted.
I said women use their needs asa measuring stick.
It doesn't matter how tall,dark or handsome he is, how big
his penis is, how much money hegot or nothing.
If you got a list of needs andif you take out a certain amount
of time to acquireunderstanding, this man can
(00:43):
supply those needs.
When you discover that hecannot it doesn't matter what he
looks like or what he got goingon you vacate that situation.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Have you ever considered what it means to be
in a relationship Other than thevery obvious?
I mean, really considered whatit means, what the expectations
are, what roles each person issupposed to embody?
My friend, david, is writing abook where he dives into just
(01:17):
that.
What exactly is a relationshipas opposed to a companionship?
Now, that's a term I never evenheard or considered.
Which one are you in,relationship or companionship?
Which one are you searching for?
Now, the author's views areentirely his own.
Some I agree with and some Idon't, but regardless of my
personal opinion, thisconversation is educational,
(01:38):
thought-provoking and very muchneeded.
Be sure to hit that followbutton and share this episode
with a friend.
That's how we grow.
We really appreciate it, asalways.
Thank you for joining us today.
Welcome to Manhood Matters.
(02:16):
Let's get to it.
Welcome back to the pod.
Yes, sir, yeah, yes sir, yeah.
So in conversations with you inthe past, you mentioned a book
that you're either are in theprocess of writing or it's done.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yeah, I'm 68% in.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Okay, cool, tell us about the book man.
What's it called, and tell usabout it.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Well, the name of the book is called.
Who Took my Manhood and Left MeAll Alone With Her.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
It's a mouthful man.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
Yeah, it's definitely a mouthful.
I can't wait to hear this.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Yeah, break down the title for me.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
man, Tell me what's going on and it's one type of
situation where you know peoplealways go straight in for the
kill on the title, but it'sabout the systematic destruction
of the black family, how thegovernment manipulated our
African-American sisters intogetting the man, the black man,
out of the house.
One thing about me I have avery extensive background in
holistic psychology, behavioralscience, social science and
(03:10):
mental illness.
So, growing up in a spiritual,metaphysical, holistic, organic
centered home and familylifestyle, I was always raised
to not look at the symptom butthe cause.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Meaning like if I ever met a man or a woman, a
child, that acted a certain kindof way, I didn't write them off
on the symptom, the reaction,you went back to find out what
the reason is.
I wanted to find out why thischild wasn't born like this, why
this child was acting like this, even when it comes down to
relationships.
I spent nine months in theCongo, three months with the
pygmy tribe, and one of thethings that blew me away being
(03:48):
around this pygmy tribe is, youknow, when you go out to these
countries, especially like yousmack dead in the middle of one
of the most dangerousgeographical jungles in the
world all the bullshit fadesaway.
Everything that is in oursociety is now gone.
It's not in this society.
I'm like, literally like.
(04:11):
For instance, right now, as wespeak, there's over 7,000
actively spoken languages on theplanet.
Now, the overwhelming majorityof those 7,000 languages spoken
don't have the words belief,love or faith.
What was the word?
Before it became a word, it wasa thought and then it came to
action.
When I came to the realizationthat words were thoughts and
they became materialized asactions, then I start learning
and understanding that everyreal word solidifies itself.
(04:32):
And how does that real wordsolidify itself?
Through action.
If I say to you sit.
In order for you to execute theword sit, you have to take the
action of sitting down.
All real words are solidifiedby action.
If I say to my woman or to awoman or to you that I care for
you.
In order for me to care for you, I got to provide, I got to.
(04:52):
It has to be reinforced withaction.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
That's what you're talking about when you said the
word love itself doesn't haveaction behind it.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
Exactly Because it's a four-letter word, a cliche in
a holiday, it actuallymaterialized around the time of
St Valentine's Day.
You know, Cupid, the heart,everything.
People don't do no research.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
So when did it get infused into the Bible then?
Speaker 1 (05:13):
The word love itself has no indigenous or ancient
origin.
So when you sit back and lookat the concept of the Bible not
take it away from anything butwhen you sit back and look at
the whole concept of writing40,000 years ago, putting stuff
in the book form, that's anotherevolution.
We're less than 500 yearsremoved from the continent, so
nothing has been lost.
(05:34):
Even when you go to Africa,african elders call America an
infant child still suckling athis mother's breast.
We are already a derailedsociety.
248 years in, we already are ina free fall of demoralization.
Facts don't even rule no more.
And even looking at therelationships between the men
(05:55):
and the women let's go back toslavery.
There have been scenarios thathave been playing out on this
planet due to colonization,putting our people in positions
that they was never, eversupposed to be put in.
A black woman was neversupposed to be put in the
position to be shown and provenand reinforced the understanding
(06:15):
that her man can't protect her.
Well, we don't take intoconsideration.
We're dealing with about 400and some change years of
resentment, right, and then, ontop of that, we find ourselves
making a transition into asociety that, as that society,
grows and evolves while at thesame time simultaneously still
(06:35):
reinforcing the notion in blackwomen's minds that your man
cannot protect you.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
At the same time, they're glorifying another man,
that was the whole purpose ofthem raping the woman in front
of you exactly so that your mancannot.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Exactly.
Right now, as we speak, wedealing with three decades.
We're dealing with thecollateral damage and fallout of
over three decades of massincarceration and single black
women parented homes.
That in itself is a pandemic.
That's a societal disruptionwithin a culture.
That's almost genocide in acertain sense.
Now, as things continue, it'snot almost genocide, it is
(07:12):
exactly exactly, and as thingsstill continue to progress.
Look at the fact like, forinstance, it's 2025, america
just so happens to be one of thefew countries that does not
possess a universalunderstanding of what a
relationship or marriage is.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
All right, stop, hang on a second, I agree.
So I want to start from whatyou just said and then just go
from there for me, okay.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
People don't take into consideration that America
just so happens to be one of thefew countries in the world that
does not possess a universalunderstanding of what a
relationship or a marriage isand what do you mean by that?
Speaker 2 (07:48):
for instance, or describe it the way the rest of
the world sees it, in the wayyou see it okay.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Well, like, for instance this is the best way I
can explain it.
I'll use the slavery situation.
Only a fraction of people wereenslaved.
You got a lot of people outhere think all of the continent
was hit by slavery.
It wasn't now.
Prior to slavery, 355,000 yearsof mental, physical, spiritual,
economical growth and evolutionon that continent.
(08:16):
First, colleges anduniversities in Africa that's
prior to slavery.
Then our ancestors getillegally abducted, shackledled,
enslaved and falsely brought tothe shores of this country,
america.
Now, when they get here, thewhole entire paradigm now has
now changed, because thesepeople are being stripped.
They've been stripped of land,language, culture, tradition.
They've been stripped.
(08:36):
Now you have them over here inthis foreign territory and you
now start the whole process ofreconditioning the mind.
If we go to Korea, korean menand women know what to expect
from one another.
Chinese men and women know whatto expect from one another,
because these cultures aroundthe world are hundreds of
thousands of years old in theirgrowth and evolution.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Would you describe for us what the universal
understanding of marriage is?
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Okay, us what?
The universal understanding ofmarriage is okay.
In a nutshell, no matter whereI've ever gone in the world, the
inhabitants of that land knowwhat to expect from their men.
They know what to expect fromtheir women.
Okay, so much so to the pointthat even here in america, what
they call us the great meltingpot, this, this country, is not
integrated.
No, it's integrated in the factthat in this geographical
(09:24):
region of the world, we have alot of different, diverse
cultures living here.
Right, but still theoverwhelming majority of
cultures.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
They don't mix, you know um, we went from a society
that was communal, like you grewup, exactly, to everybody got
to get their own, you know, andso that was the start of that
fracturing that you talk about.
I mean, I still look at theAsian culture, the Hispanic
culture.
One of the reasons, in myopinion, that they do thrive is
(09:53):
that they are still communal.
Right, they come over here andthey bring the communal aspect
and instead of just being inthose little small house, they
come over here, pool their moneytogether and get a big house,
and then it's comfortable foreverybody.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Same playbook divide and conquer.
You turn around and you find away to get the black woman to
put the black man out of thehouse.
I hate it when black men andwomen in fight try to compare
their plights, because thereain't supposed to be any plights
to compare.
It's supposed to be the blackplight.
It's supposed to be the blackplight.
People don't take intoconsideration that, even without
women and I try to explain thisto black women you still cannot
(10:35):
compare not downplayinganything that has happened to
black women historically andstill continues to happen to
this day.
You still can't compare it towhat black men go through.
It pissed me off to the highestof positivity when I went to the
World Medical Conference inMoscow, russia, in 2018.
Festivity when I went to theWorld Medical Conference in
Moscow, russia, in 2018.
Some of the greatest minds onthe planet coming out, even
though they was dropping facts.
It just wrecked me to my coreto hear that African-American
women in America have hadaborted more babies than the
(10:57):
whole entire internationalabortion community.
I sit back today, in 2025, andsay one of the reasons why
African-icans got the highestrate of divorce, separation and
domestic violence is because thefact of this, when there is no
universal understanding.
You don't.
Your average black woman don'tknow what to expect from a black
(11:18):
man unless she goes towardssomething negative.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Okay, question what is it that they should expect?
Speaker 3 (11:23):
certain principles that you think should be okay,
or what, or what do you feellike it was so, so you didn't
define our race.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
Okay, there has to be a universal understanding of
certain things.
What I mean by universalunderstanding?
No one would ever dispute thatwater's wet right, that fire is
hot, that we need to drink waterfor hydration, that we need to
eat to live.
These are all universal factors.
When you have cultures that arehundreds of thousands of years
old, they were able to give theroom and space to grow and
(11:53):
understand, grow and evolve intothese universal understandings,
right down to how all thesedifferent cultures deal and
interact between the sexes, thegenders.
Now, here in America, youraverage black man, your average
black woman, they're not evenrelationship or marriage
orientated individuals.
You may possess the desire tobe in a relationship.
(12:13):
You may possess the desire tobe married.
America is the most mentally,physically, spiritually,
sexually and financiallydysfunctional society on the
planet by grand design, andafrican americans, unfortunately
, are the greatest inheritors ofamerica's dysfunction.
And I'll tell you why americais so dysfunctional because
(12:35):
american culture has very tolittle to no oversight,
intervention nor accountabilityover a period of time that it
becomes internalized andnormalized.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
So part of what you're saying, I think and you
can correct me if I'm wrong isthat you can get married and
there's no penalty for notstaying married.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
No, even before that it don't even get that close.
What has escaped us asindividuals is, if I'm
interacting with a woman to saythat I'm ready to be in a
relationship, to say I want tobe married, I'm saying I have
succumbed to a place in my lifewhere I am ready to positively
impact and motivate anotherhuman being on a mental,
(13:17):
physical, spiritual, sexual andfinancial level.
Those are the five principlesin which men and women deal and
interact.
Now guess what Does everybodymake?
The football team.
Speaker 3 (13:27):
No.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Everybody make the basketball team?
No.
Does everybody get to graduatefrom MIT?
No, everybody get to work forNASA.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
No.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
But when you sit up here talking about what a
relationship is, that's harderthan any of those assignments.
What exactly is a realrelationship?
A real relationship is when aman and woman of mutual
attraction and of like mindscomes together and formulates a
committable bond, a union inwhich the man and the woman
(13:57):
makes a mental, physical,spiritual, sexual and financial
contribution to that union andgrowing it into a power couple
that hopefully leads to marriage.
When I sit back and look atinto a power couple that
hopefully leads to marriage,when I sit back and look at all
these indigenous societies thatI've studied and visited over
the years.
When those kids grow up,they're raised through rites of
passage.
The boys come to a place wherethey're no longer being boys and
(14:17):
they're acknowledged as men inthe eyes of their whole society,
family and village.
Same thing with the girls.
And then, after they come,become adults, young adults,
they go out into a society.
They have a uniformed mental,physical and spiritual society
that holds those childrenaccountable to the teachings of
the parent or parents.
When here in America we raiseour children to the very best of
(14:40):
our ability, which I did, mykids was on the straight and
narrow the whole time.
They was under my roof.
But guess what?
I underestimated the power ofthe internet.
I underestimated the power ofsociety.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Yeah, and its influence.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
That's a huge influence I'm saying it is
because you got a man and awoman over here.
They're coming together withthe intent of wanting to be in a
relationship.
They try to predicate thisrelationship on sex and money
too.
Too many negative influences.
All these influences pertain torelationships as things that
people are trying to emulatethrough music, movies, reality
(15:13):
shows.
There's nothing of substancethere that has laid a
foundational and structuralunderstanding of what a man's
role is as a man in relation tohimself, who he is to be for the
woman and, if children comeinto place as the man, how he is
to evolve into a father and theposition he wants to play.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
So, having heard that you're right right Because I
look at society, I look atcertain influences and all these
different things and even asadults, we are being coached,
trained and subjugated to allthese different things that
we're seeing.
So what principles are youbringing in your teachings to
remediate that particularsituation, since men don't
(15:52):
exactly know what they'resupposed to be bringing?
Speaker 1 (15:54):
We as a culture, we're left to have to fend for
ourselves across the board.
When you listen to usarticulate, every other word out
of our mouths is what we think,feel, believe or have faith in.
Now, what do all those wordshave in common?
They're all predicated on afoundation of uncertainty.
Explain that, I think.
(16:14):
Yeah, that's a good point Ifeel, I believe, I have faith in
it's from your perspective.
All four of them are predicatedon.
No, I'm not giving aperspective, that's a fact.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
Well, you don't know Right.
No, no, no.
What I'm saying is that they'recoming from your perspective of
truly not knowing Right, so youdon't know for certain.
So then, this is how you feelabout it versus.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
No, I'm actually talking about in the word.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
I feel that I have faith in this.
That's what their lead is.
See, when I go outside theUnited States, life is not
predicated on what you think,feel, believe or have faith in.
Life out there is predicated onwhat you know, what you don't
know, what you can do and whatyou can manifest, because at the
end of the day, you can't dowhat you don't know.
(17:06):
Say, is IJ home, and I say Ibelieve he's down at the
playground.
That means I am uncertain tohis whereabouts.
The word believe is rumors,hearsay, conjecture, not facts.
If you look at the wordknowledge, the first word in
knowledge is no, not n-o, butk-n-o-w, a literary marker, an
indication that those who haveacquired knowledge know.
So when you sit back and lookat people who articulate on a
consistent and constant basisthe whole lifespan and I think I
(17:28):
feel I believe I have faith inwhen you sit down and have a
conversation with them and youask them what it is that they
actually and factually know, cando and manifest, you get
crickets.
And one of the things that Inotice is this what reinforces
is one thing that reinforcesuncertainty and that's fear.
So when you sit back and lookat our people over the past 248
(17:53):
years, and you see this lack ofunity.
You see this lack of mental,physical, spiritual, sexual and
financial growth and evolution.
How are we supposed to grow andevolve like everybody else when
you occupy in a consistent andconstant state of uncertainty
and fear?
But it's very easy to putinstill fear in a person that
doesn't know.
If you know something, check itout, like check out this.
(18:15):
You say he had a big dog.
You walk in here.
You know that dog don't bite,right, you don't fear it.
I walk in behind you.
I see the dog.
I have no knowledge that thatdog don't bark but don't don't
bite it.
I walk in behind you.
I see the dog.
I have no knowledge that thatdog don't bark but don't bite.
Now I got fear.
You don't have it because youhave the knowledge of knowing
the dog don't bite.
And it's the same thing outwithin our society.
The more a person learns, oneof the things that has empowered
(18:37):
me, and as a, as a man of color, is my ability to learn, grow
and evolve, and it's the samething.
What's going on with theserelationships?
I'm sitting up here askingcouples that are trying to come
together questions that nobodyhas ever even asked them before.
I sit there and I interview thewoman by herself, man by
herself, both together, and Iask the woman let me ask you a
(18:58):
question how were you raised?
Have you actually and factuallybeen raised, to be anybody's
husband?
Have you been raised?
Speaker 3 (19:07):
to be anybody's mother.
So I got a theory on that Right.
So this is my second marriage,right.
Me and my wife have beentogether total 20 years.
We celebrate our 18th year ofmarriage next month.
So intentionally Right, Istarted to after my first
marriage.
Just going back through myhistory, my dad's been married
(19:27):
five times.
My mom's been married three.
You said five times.
My dad was married five times.
My dad passed at 97.
During my bachelor party at myfirst marriage, my brother was
like dad, why don't you tell himyou know what it's like to be
successful or have a successfulmarriage?
And my dad looked at my brotherlike he was crazy.
He was like I can't tell himhow to be successful.
He's like I was married fivetimes.
(19:48):
I can't tell him how to be.
I can't tell him how to keepher.
I can tell him how to get ridof her.
And everybody in the car juststarted laughing, right, and so
you know I broke the ice.
He was like why?
Why, you say that?
I said because you were marriedfive times.
He said well, why would thatmake me lucky?
He was perplexed.
I said because you found fivewomen that you actually loved
(20:10):
enough to marry.
I can't even find five I like.
And the look on his face, Imean I'm telling you and he
laughed at it but I was deadserious.
I mean, still to this day Ican't tell you of five women
that I will have loved orthought enough of to marry,
besides the two that I marriedand the first one.
(20:30):
I wouldn't call it quoteunquote a mistake, but it just
didn't work out.
You know it wasn't like themost amicable.
I mean, what I'm saying is notlike most situations where it
was a disharmonious breakup,right, it just circumstances
just took us apart.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
And that's why I'm hoping that this book you know
who Took my Manhood and Left MeAll Alone With Her Tell us about
the book.
Well, like I said, the bookbasically gets some.
It puts things in perspectiveand give people something to sit
with.
Okay, when you're in survivalmode 24, 7, 365, it's just
reactionary, reactionary,reactionary.
(21:14):
Then, on top of it, you live ina villageless society.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
There's no more speaking strength to power.
So I want to go back to mypoint in telling y'all that
story.
The point is my second marriagewith my second wife.
Her parents were married 30years.
My first wife, her parents werelike mine, so we were both from
homes where we never saw asuccessful marriage and I think
and I don't even think I feellike the reason why me and my
wife are successful is becauseshe came from a household where
(21:36):
her parents were married for along time.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
The book to me is so important because it gives
generations time to sit with it,all this whole work.
Who took my manhood and left meall alone with her?
That's exactly where we are.
You got a lot of broken men nowthat are in relationships.
He's now left alone with thewoman the woman People don't
take.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
So who's left alone?
With the woman, the man?
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Like right now.
Look at how many, as timeprogressed to our culture, this
is what I've seen.
I see sisters that got thedegrees.
The sister's pretty, she got anice body, she's gainfully
employed, she's got a house orapartment, a car, some material
treatments.
She's got a bank account,savings account, 401k.
She had all that my wholeentire life.
I've seen good girls with badboys.
(22:22):
Yeah, she had all that my wholeentire life.
I've seen good girls with badboys.
Yeah, the girl is out theregoing to Spelman College, this,
this, this, that and third buther boyfriend, he in them
streets.
He's a dope boy.
It coupled up Right, but hedon't.
He, but his car is in her nameGoing through that mass
incarceration, coming out ofthat mass incarceration.
If you needed to find a blackman, he was always entrenched
underneath a black woman.
And even now, in 2025, look howthey didn't broke that up.
(22:51):
I see brothers now coming homefrom jail.
They don't have no woman to goslide up on the.
Now the drugs is pharmaceutical.
Now the cars you can't stealthem hard to get your hands on
the gun.
Some people's families havepassed away.
You got men out here on thesestreets.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
They out here fending for themselves well, we don't
even have the number of childrenthat we used to have no so that
kind of forced the familydynamic together because you had
to have some help in raisingyour kids right.
Also, you had the one parenthousehold.
One parent would work and oneparent would be at home raising
kids.
Now, the way the economicsystem is, it forces both
(23:22):
parents to work but now 43percent of black women don't
even want kids right, becausethey don't have time, they're
working they want a career in abody right.
It ain't even the music videos,no more.
It's just the fact that I cango on instagram and this person
is is uh, got you know abrazilian butt lift, or she's
got breast, or everything isabout looks, but look at how our
(23:45):
women have become totally andvirtually disconnect from the.
The reason it's but it's.
It goes back to even when yeah,but when I'm saying it's 40s
and 50s where they were seeingthese white women and they went
from a natural hair to-.
No, but I'm not even talkingabout that I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
how can, in only 248 years, how can any black woman
mentally detached from theunderstanding of why black men
are in the mental, physical,spiritual and financial
situation they're in?
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Question.
So one of the principles thatyou touched on in the book is
taking the men and their poweraway.
What's another principle andwhat's a positive outlook that
you touched on in the book istaking the men and their power
away.
What's another principle andwhat's a positive outlook that
you have on the book?
Speaker 1 (24:27):
The economic side of it.
No one has gone above andbeyond the call of duty to make
sure that black men wereproperly educated.
No one has gone above andbeyond to make sure that there
was a transition from a boy to aman and what it means to be a
man and how you will be heldaccountable as a man.
See, what makes a teacher ateacher is that a teacher can
(24:49):
assess a student and be clear inthat teacher's mind of what
that student knows, what thatstudent does not know, what that
student needs to know in realtime.
You know I'm saying and how toprioritize what that student
needs to know in real time.
You know what I'm saying andhow to prioritize what that
student needs to know.
I investigated 217 grassrootsorganizations when I came to
(25:09):
Georgia in 2016, and I wasdisappointed when only seven of
them was really doing the work.
You have a lot of individualsout here cloud chasing.
You have a lot of individualsout here putting themselves in
positions.
But see, the thing about it isI sit back and I look at the
fundamentals.
As soon as I encounter a man, ayoung man or a young woman, the
(25:30):
three phases of life pop up inmy head.
The three phases of life isself-identity, self-empowerment
and the longest running phase ofa being's life, self-mastery.
We have so many good kids outhere, girls and boys, but they
don't have no foundation, nostructure, no agenda.
See what?
What I've learned?
What breaks a person out ofsurvival mode?
Speaker 3 (25:52):
survival mode goes bye-bye once they acquire an
agenda when I started to have apurpose, right when I started
teaching men and women about thefive point principle lifestyle.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
I live a five point principle lifestyle.
The five point principlelifestyle is daily, cognizant
mental, physical, spiritual,sexual and financial growth and
evolution.
Because I have that agenda,that's my routine every day.
I have patterns what my mentalis.
I got certain books that I read.
I got certain books that I read, certain audible books that I
(26:24):
read, state of meditation andproper prayer, me myself.
One of the reasons why I'msingle right now is because,
again, everything is so twisted.
A lot of women say they want tobe in a relationship, but how
it figuratively plays out it'sreally you're looking for
companionship because arelationship is too much work.
When I say, when I say topeople that a real relationship
(26:45):
is when a man and woman ofmutual attraction and of like
minds comes together andformulates a committable bond, a
union in which the man and thewoman makes a mental, physical,
spiritual, sexual and financialcontribution to that union and
growing it into a power couplethat leads to marriage, they sit
there looking at me like myhead just split open.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
That's a great description, thank you, that's
really good, but that's part ofthe 50%.
Speaker 3 (27:06):
Why 50% of them need to divorce?
Because they only might get tothe physical.
They hardly ever get to themental.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Well, not just that, but I think that what he's-.
Speaker 3 (27:15):
They got physical and financial.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
I think what he's hit on that, I think, is impactful.
Is you want something right?
Right is impactful.
Is you want something?
right right, cool, what is itexactly like?
You know the name of it youheard about.
What is it?
Because if you can't describeit, then are you sure you want
it now if I prescribe it to you,which is what you're doing?
It's like well, look, you don'thave your own description and
maybe they do.
Right, not everyone has thesame description.
(27:36):
You do, but some people might,and it could be a profound, a
very powerful one, but mostpeople don't because they never
think about it so do me a favor.
Speaker 3 (27:45):
I want you to break down the difference between
companionship and a relationshipright, to give people a
foundation on the differencebetween the two right now how
I've seen companionship play outin the united states.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Here you got a brother and sister, maybe they
in their late 40s.
She didn't work hard,sacrificed and invested wisely.
Now they you know they changinggears.
She's got her 401k, you know,he got his, and they're seeking
exactly that companionshipSomeone to spend some quality
time, get some quality attention, to get out here and travel.
You know what I'm saying.
Their money situation is set.
(28:21):
They got their.
You know saying their moneysituation is set, they got they.
You know their retirements andall that kind of stuff.
That's all set.
The only thing that's missing isa companion.
So a companion for what purpose?
Not do this shit alone?
Exactly a companion to spendtime with, to travel.
You know saying to you know,have someone to be with.
Now, when you talk about arelationship that's still work,
(28:42):
we're still.
Now you might have a man or awoman who just ain't where they
want to be.
They still got student loans onthe table.
Now we got to come together andlay the foundation and
structure that's going to helpus to grow and evolve in our
time together, as well as takethese student loans down,
improve our mental health,maintain our physical health,
(29:02):
work out exercise.
See, that goes back to thatuniversal understanding.
If everybody knew that arelationship was all about
mental, physical, spiritual,sexual and financial growth and
evolution.
If you grew up with thatunderstanding and a woman goes
out and she meets a man, andwhen she meets the man, that's
all he's talking about.
Now she knows, I got the rightman.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
So I got a theory on some of what you're saying.
So for me, if I ever had to getmarried again for whatever
reason I know I'm not lookingfor a relationship Right,
Because you're right, it's toomuch work.
The biggest thing that I thinkpeople get into when they're
dating is they always think thatthey have to be in a
relationship and you can be coolwith companionship, and a lot
(29:45):
of people now are developingthat or starting to figure that
out, and that's why I think alot of people aren't getting
married.
And then when they go from,let's say, for example, they
dated somebody for five yearsbut everybody pressures them
into marriage and then themarriage falls apart because
they were fine as companions butthey weren't set up to have a
relationship.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Right, but then again it's also going back to words
and words being energetic.
You saying that brings my uncleto mind.
My uncle was with one younglady for three years.
Everything was fine I meanliterally fine.
He's a cool dude.
They got married.
They couldn't stay married 24months.
He turned around and got withanother young lady.
So what changed?
Check it out around and gotwith another young lady.
So what changed?
Check it out.
He got with another young lady.
They was together for fiveyears.
(30:27):
Only thing that was missing wasa ring on the finger.
It's just something about Acommitment.
That's what it's.
No, but see, the thing about itis it's almost like he's
allergic to metal.
No, but like it happened.
Three times he got with threedifferent women and all three of
those relationships ended uponmarriage.
But now he's in the fourthrelationship.
(30:49):
Ok, now him and his girl beentogether 30 some years because
he didn't get married.
Yeah, if a man and woman committo one another, living under the
same roof, one another, theypaying bills, they procreating,
that's marriage.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
Do you feel that, based on what you just said,
that marriage itself happens tobe an external contract, whereas
if you do it without themarriage, it's an internal
contract between me and you?
So we could last 30 years andbe perfectly fine.
But the second someone elseputs the government society puts
a strength on it or puts rulesupon it.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
It falls apart because you're not built to do
that Right, because now, here itcomes, he has his life set up
as a profit, non-profit andprivate family estate trust.
Her name is on the roster.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
any event, something happens so she's taking care of.
She's taking care of, so it'snot.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
It's not a cop out to say well you know like I don't
want her to get exactly whateverit just puts things in natural
order and perspective withoutthe outside interferences.
You got a lot of people outhere.
They have pressure and anxietywhen it comes down to marriage
because if this doesn't work outunder the umbrella of this form
of marriage, this woman cantake me for everything I got.
(31:58):
I at least could have.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
Let's see that the thing that people don't
understand about marriage andI've said this before on the
podcast Marriage is apartnership.
And to a certain extent in anypartnership is like a business
relationship.
If you go into business withsomebody, the minute we disagree
and we want to go our separateways.
It's similar to a marriage.
Is we got to figure out whoseassets you know?
(32:21):
What part are you taking, whatpart am I taking before we
dissolve?
And if people looked atmarriage the same way, they
would be more selective on whothey went into a partnership
with.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Well, that's the whole versus.
But that's.
You just hit the situation onthe head.
See, the thing about it ispeople just throwing shit up
against the wall to wait to seewhat sticks because they are
involved with their emotions andlove there's no foundation
structure or agenda connected totheir wants, needs and desires.
Even look at the power of words.
It's a world of differencebetween the mentality of a woman
(32:52):
who sees a man as a want versusa woman who sees a man as a
need.
Yes, Like for instance, I justtold, one of my homegirls that's
powerful.
Speaker 3 (32:57):
Say that one again In their needs A woman who sees a
man as a want.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Yeah, it's a world of difference between a woman who
sees a man as a want than a need, correct?
I'm saying like, for instance,one of my homegirls she's
beautiful sister coming apart atthe seams the other night
because she don't understand whythese relationships ain't
working out.
I said the reason why yourrelationships are not working
out is because you pursue a manas a want.
She said, well, yeah, he is awant.
I said no, he's not.
I said God doesn need eachother.
(33:25):
A man and a woman need to be onthe same list with water, air
and food.
I said because with you, everytime I talk to you, you're
always pursuing some cat basedon what it is about, the things
about him that make you want him.
And then you end up getting ina relationship with this dude
and within 90 days to six monthsnine months tops, you all
disgruntled, you all upset andyou're all discombobulated.
(33:46):
Why?
Because nine months into therelationship, your needs have
not been met.
And the reason why your needsare not being met is because
becoming a union with him wasnot predicated on your needs.
It was predicated on everythingabout him that you wanted.
I said if women use their needsas a measuring stick, it doesn't
matter how tall, dark or is howbig his penis is, how much
(34:07):
money he got or nothing.
If you got a list of needs and,after you take out a position,
a certain amount of time toacquire understanding, this man
can supply those needs.
When you discover that hecannot, it doesn't matter what
he looks like or what he gotgoing on.
You vacate that situation.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
David, do you think that, especially in today's norm
climate, et cetera, with womenbeing more self-sufficient, et
cetera, you think that there isa part of them that doesn't
allow them to say I need this orI need this person?
You know what I mean, becausewhat I'm saying is look, I could
(34:45):
want him, but if I need him, itmeans I'm giving up a part of
myself.
Speaker 3 (34:50):
And they're afraid.
Speaker 2 (34:51):
Well, yeah, not just that, but they're afraid of
becoming dependent on thisperson, or even vulnerable in
that sense, because if thatperson stops, changes their mind
, because they evolve indifferent ways, right, and they
go their ways, or whatever it isthen they feel that there is a
part of them that is destroyed.
Do you think that's why theyare reluctant to give up that
part of them, to say that theyneed a man rather than they want
a man?
Speaker 1 (35:14):
Well, that's a part of it.
But also you got to understandsomething.
You have black women whoautomatically feel that they are
superior to a black man, thatthey have more education than To
be educated means you went toan institution or a college and
you walk around with half a headof theory and you don't know if
the theories that you havelearned are even real until you
apply them and witness theirresolve.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
And most people won't .
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Exactly Now.
When it comes down to knowledge, that means you have acquired
an understanding, you haveapplied that understanding, you
have witnesses, resolve, overand over enough to know that it
works.
We now live in a time wherewomen see men with a certain
level of disrespect and disdain,so I want to clarify that,
because this is all.
Speaker 3 (35:55):
this has been my point and every time I bring it
up to a black woman it's like alight bulb goes on in their head
.
I said I met white women, asianwomen, hispanic women.
I never hear a Hispanic, whiteor Asian woman say I don't need
a man, exactly.
That is that.
That is that African AmericanAfrican.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
American women are the first race of women on the
planet to ever run that campaignso widespread that it's
globally known Like.
Right now here in the UnitedStates there's over 800 private
colonies.
I know about these coloniesbecause I see these people come
into these different hospitalsand different clinics.
Are they getting medicalattention?
I mean coming in there withthree and four wives and they
(36:34):
got a whole bushel of children.
People have no understandingwhat's going on here.
It's funny to me that even righthere in Georgia there are 16
white men who went down to SouthAfrica and came back with 16
South African girls.
But you know what they did.
They went out and they createdan organization.
They bought a piece of propertyand they built a community like
this on that property.
(36:55):
And those men, you know, late40s, early 50s, got money, been
working hard, sacrificing,wanted to procreate their legacy
and they turned around and wentto South Africa and got
themselves some wives and cameback over here.
See, a lot of women don'tunderstand.
The man is the franchise.
The man has the last name.
He has the Y chromosome, he hasX chromosome.
(37:15):
The woman is supposed to comeinto into this union as being a
helpmate, to lay the foundationand structure of this dynasty
with offspring procreation.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
Is that the premise of what you're writing about and
what you're teaching?
Speaker 1 (37:28):
well, it's one of them type of things is I'm
trying to, as most delicately aspossible, try to bring things
back into perspective, intobalance but can you see how the
way that's phrased would not bepotentially well received?
I understand that.
But see, the thing about it iswhat I also understand, though I
don't jump through hoopsanymore.
Yeah, because back in the day,red Fox Dick Gregory was one of
(37:50):
my mentors the people wasunapologetic.
They say what they want to say.
Same thing with Louis Farrakhan.
People say what they say.
You know, no matter who, I canget anything from anybody.
I take the meat and I spit outthe bones.
Right now we live in thissociety because people are not
(38:12):
taken into the position, takeninto the perspective how people
are being cellularly victimized.
You know I'm saying that's whyyou have all this
hypersensitivity.
You know, nobody can't, youcan't have a conversation
without somebody's feelingsgetting hurt.
See this, we are in an agitatedsociety, but it's very hard to
navigate your daily life ifyou're not in the know so let me
ask you a question when did youdevelop your theory for, I
guess, pegging order for men andwomen?
Okay, well, in Africa there's 36African indigenous spiritual
(38:36):
systems that make up the wholeglobal spiritual pantheon, the
whole body.
In Nigeria they have somethingcalled Ifa.
There's something called the256 Odu, ifaah.
We're going to call each one ofthose 256 odoo's an
encyclopedia, okay, okay, eachone of them 256 is a
encyclopedia.
Now, each one of the 256 odoo'sare about 1500 telephone books
(39:01):
thick.
Each one of them, each one, isabout 1500,500 telephone books.
Ifa in its written form is40,000 years old.
So how do you get through thatmuch information?
You can't.
And let me tell you how.
God don't make no mistakes.
The reason why you don't getthrough that much is because
everyone born into Ifa receivesa sign, receives an Odu.
(39:23):
Just like you got a birthmark,you're born under a certain Odu.
One of those 256 Odu's waspulled on your birth and then
you are signed certain aspectsof your own Odu to use that
information to lay thefoundation and structure of your
life, mentally, physically andspiritually.
And to be clear, these Odu'sare books, they're writings.
(39:44):
The first Odu is Ejiope.
Ok, so Ejiope.
They expounded on Ejiope.
They said you can live athousand lifetimes and still
can't read all the Ejiope.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
Yeah, I mean not if it's 1,500 phone books.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
No yeah, but it's 40,000 years of writing.
The crazy thing is you got 4million human existing years on
the planet.
Right Before the 40,000 years,we lived in an oral society
where individuals were sobrilliant they used to work
around with this information intheir head.
We live in a society thatbenefits off of the good, the
(40:19):
bad, the right, the wrong, theugly and the different.
They got a way that they'regoing to profit from any
situation or circumstance.
When it comes down to theserelationships, it's the same
thing.
These women are out hererunning recluse as well as the
men are out here running recluse, operating at their lowest
vibration.
Because who's teaching them?
Nothing from nothing leavesnothing.
I see her, I want to be withher.
(40:39):
The only thing he knows is OK,she likes sex and money.
I like sex and money.
Outside of sex and money, I'mgoing to try to inflict my will
on her and she's gonna try toflick her will on me, and then
it turns into this wholeinfighting type situation versus
right now, here in, even righthere in America.
You ain't got to go outside thecountry.
(41:00):
I got people telling me thatthe reason why I'm still single
is because I'm waiting on ablack woman.
That's why you told me thatrecently.
Speaker 2 (41:08):
What is the reason you are still single?
Speaker 1 (41:09):
Well.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
I think that's a stupid question.
By the way, I'm asking itknowing full well.
It's a stupid question becauseI hate when I hear that, because
I've heard women say this guyis this, this and that, still
single.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
You know, knowing all this full well, I'm just going
to ask you, if I may why are yousingle?
It's very sad and dishearteningthat if I right now, in this
moment, decided to date outsidemy race, I can get in a
relationship like that.
Problem is, I know I'm a goodjudge of character because from
2016 to present, anytime I'mmoved to actually approach a
woman in public, they alwaysmarry.
Speaker 2 (41:45):
So you approach the one that obviously but it
doesn't happen.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
A lot value in.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Basically she's a prize, right it doesn't happen a
lot, but it has more thanhappened enough to substantiate
that I am clear in myunderstanding of what a black
woman is, of quality andsubstance, caliber, good
character, family and career,because every time I approach
one, oh thank you they allflattered.
Speaker 2 (42:06):
I'm married she wasn't wearing the ring, or you
didn't look at her.
Speaker 1 (42:10):
A lot of times I wasn't looking.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
I just wasn't looking .
Yeah, but would you dateoutside of your race?
Speaker 1 (42:15):
I'm tangling with that now.
But now what's going on, whichis really ironic that y'all
brought this up.
I got a little tour coming upsoon, so I'm going to go down.
One of my professors, one of mymentors this guy's like a
father to me he told me straightup and down recently.
He said look man.
He said do like you wasn'tmeant to be by yourself.
He said I'm supposed to begoing to South Africa in July.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
You're going to get yourself 16 wives.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
No, no, no.
So are you at that stage inyour life where you cool with
companionship or are youlegitimately looking to be
married?
Speaker 1 (42:46):
Well, no, I'm actually looking to be in a
relationship.
But see, the thing about it isyou got to understand where
you're at.
If I'm going to stay here inAmerica, it's going to be
companionship.
I meet more women here inAmerica that are companionship
oriented than relationshiporiented, and abroad I meet more
women who are relationshiporiented than companionship
(43:07):
oriented.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
I get the difference.
We all agree I think all threeof us especially when Leon a
little earlier said no, like ifyou were to get to do it all
over again he'd look forcompanionship.
I would actually look for arelationship, because I get both
, because in the relationshipyou also have companionship?
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (43:23):
You do get both, and I feel like the companionship
itself is very volatile, in thesense that they're there for a
reason and I better not get sickthat one's not gonna wipe your
ass it's a companionship.
So you know what I just wentthrough yeah, yeah, yeah of
course, that's what I'm sayinglike, so you have that
relationship you're talkingabout in the future.
But I'm saying like, for me, ifI'm gonna, just like you know,
(43:44):
lock it down with someone, itneeds to be a relationship every
single time.
Oh, I don't need it.
I'm cool with the casualencounters and just moving on
with my world and not have thefalse sense of security with you
when you're not really here.
There's always this naggingthing where I feel like at the
first sign of trouble you'regone.
Speaker 1 (44:02):
Let me give you an example.
One of my best friends was inlove with his children's mother.
Remember when I told you, whenyou care more about somebody
than they care about you, itequals resentment.
Well, she resented him for nomatter, you know, no matter how
disrespectful she was, no matterwhat she did.
She resented him for alwaysseeing the better side of her
and still wanting to pursue thatright.
(44:22):
Yeah, that's crazy.
So she got to a point that sheliterally tried to destroy him.
Speaker 2 (44:26):
She's like what else do I have to do?
Speaker 1 (44:28):
Exactly, she literally tried to destroy him.
So he got to a place with me.
I was like bro, come on now,fat lady and son, bro, it's
getting violent, it's gettingreally toxic.
So he came out right.
So I needed to change, came outof the relationship.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Yeah, yeah, he came out of the relationship.
Yeah, he came out of therelationship.
Speaker 1 (44:48):
And he's a brilliant brother.
You know what I'm saying.
So this is what I did.
I said I got to go travel.
I want you to come with me Tookthat brother to Uganda and he
met a Ugandan sister bro.
And it was this beautifulsister bro.
I even saw her.
She was just out there, bro,the sun was shining and all the
colors and pretty white teeth,and he just kept looking at her.
She kept blushing and smiling,blushing and smiling, and it
(45:08):
happened.
Just that simple, yeah, thatbrother.
They got together.
He was going back and forthover there spending time with
her.
He put her through nursingschool.
They I just came out of nursingschool, they turned around and
started some kind of nursinghome type situation, some kind
of business with nursing.
Speaker 2 (45:24):
You know saying yeah they've been together now like
18 years that's beautiful, thatis awesome and no hiccups.
So I got to go back on onething that I kind of want to
challenge you a little bit,david, because there was a lot
to pull from.
I'm going to say 80% of it feltnot preachy, not in a bad sense
, but whether it's educationalon a soapbox or whatever, it is
(45:47):
educational on a soapbox orwhatever it is where there was a
whole lot of love for the blackcommunity being talked about.
You want to grab everyone bythe collar, it feels like, and
wake everybody up and shake themup and go wake up right.
You talked about the, thecommunity.
You talked about the village,you talked about our
relationships and all thesedifferent things.
But when I asked you a secondago, would you date outside your
race, I expected a resoundinghell.
Speaker 1 (46:06):
No, it seems like you're open to it.
Explain that one.
Well, it depends.
Let me expound on it.
Could I see myself when you saydating outside your race?
Let's put it into perspective.
I can go out there and dateother melanated races.
Speaker 2 (46:20):
Okay.
When I say outside your race, Idon't mean outside of the
nationality, when I think ofblack, I think of black.
I think of black everywhere onthe whole, okay, well, no right,
no.
Speaker 1 (46:31):
Jamaican, haitian, ethiopian no you know I can't do
yasamaris.
That's why I haven't.
Okay, that's why I'm 57 andsingle.
Okay, because I can't.
And the reason why I can't istoo many things play back.
I used to be involved insporting programs where I see
the overwhelming majority ofthese sporting prospects coming
up and get completely burned tothe ground and destroyed before
they can even clear collegedealing with them.
You know what I'm saying.
And then, on top of that, Icome from a.
(46:52):
I come from a very enrichedculture family.
The matriarchs of my family man.
They poured into me.
You know what I'm saying.
They really dotted, I's crossedT's connected dots and really
gave my life foundation,structure and purpose gave my
life foundation, structure andpurpose.
Speaker 3 (47:11):
My last question for you is so we're doing a podcast
on relationships and you gavethem five principles that they
can follow in determiningwhether they're looking for a
relationship versuscompanionship.
What other suggestion or toolwould you give generations that
are coming behind and are juststarting to date, that are just
starting to look atcompanionship versus
relationship?
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Well, I would tell any person to first self-reflect
.
If you don't possess theability or the drive or the
desire to possibly impact yoursignificant other in a committed
, a constant and committedeffort to see them to be, help
them to become a better personmentally, physically,
spiritually, sexually andfinancially you're a companion,
you're not a relationship person.
Speaker 2 (47:53):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Any individual who has succumbed to that deep,
intimate, mental, physical,spiritual, sexual and financial
side of themselves, to the pointthat they have put in the work
and they see that their life isnot perfect but their life is
functional and it's progressivein those five areas and now
you're ready to commit tosomeone.
(48:15):
You are definitely arelationship-orientated
individual.
Speaker 3 (48:19):
So what's the makeup of your children?
You got five, you said.
Speaker 1 (48:21):
Yeah, three boys two girls.
Speaker 3 (48:23):
What do you tell your daughters?
Speaker 1 (48:25):
Well, my daughters, I'm hard on the girls.
It's very easy to throw adefense to a society, the
society's offense.
I told him, any man who comesyour way, that's, you know,
saying just structured and sex,money and trying to control you
or inflict his will or ideologyway of thinking on you, that's
not the man for you.
(48:45):
Men and women deal and interacton five principles on a
consistent and constant basis,consciously or subconsciously.
Any individual who does notoperate with a life's agenda
that operates within the growthand progression of those five
things are operating in a mentalstate of survival.
You don't want to deal withpeople who are surviving, you
want to deal with individualswho are living.
(49:06):
And in order to live, one mustgrow and one must be progressive
.
And in the five areas in whichwe, as individuals deal and
interact, is that mental,physical, spiritual, sexual and
financial.
And I told him straight up anddown it doesn't start when you
get into a relationship.
You have to start dot nines,cross and T's on doing the work
for yourself.
Are you rational or irrational?
(49:28):
Irrational, are you strong orweak?
Ask yourself do you have commonsense or do you not have common
sense?
See, one of the biggest issuesI've seen in america is the
whole concept of fake it tillyou make it and people not being
able to be honest withthemselves.
Look, you know enough to thinkthat you're right, but you just
don't know enough to know thatyou're right, but you just don't
know enough to know that you'rewrong.
(49:49):
You know what I'm saying wedon't live in that realm, no
more that lane of critical andconstructive thinking, that lane
of constructive criticism.
It's not like that, no more.
So many people, when you speakagainst anything, they think
it's like a personal attack.
They don't see it as a growingmoment.
Speaker 2 (50:06):
When's the book coming out?
Speaker 1 (50:08):
Hopefully September.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
Okay, September this year, 2025.
Speaker 1 (50:12):
Yeah, I really need to.
I don't maybe I don't know ifyou could help or not, but you
know I need to really tap into,like the graphic artist
community.
I did a lot of researchrecently because I'm I'm at the
place, I'm working on the coverof the book and I noticed by
looking at a lot of the New YorkTimes bestsellers, statement
books got words, not pictures.
(50:32):
So that whole who took mymanhood and left me all along
with her, that's like astatement.
Speaker 2 (50:37):
You know what?
I'm saying it's a question buta hell of a statement.
Speaker 1 (50:40):
Yeah, well, you know what I'm saying, but it would be
on a book in written form.
That would not be somethingthat you put a graphic.
So 27 different publishingcompanies came my way and they
really didn't do anything butupset me for people to sit there
very cool, calm andcollectively and tell you they
want 78% of your royalties Forthe book.
I mean, yeah, I mean, thelowest amount of royalties
somebody asked for was 40%.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
Why don't you self-publish?
Speaker 1 (51:03):
That's exactly where I'm at now.
Speaker 2 (51:04):
Okay, For people who want to reach out and work with
you.
How will they find you?
Speaker 1 (51:10):
Well, the best way to find me right now will be by
way of email.
My email address is the3zupanat protonme.
That's protonme, that's thebest way to get-N?
Dot me.
That's Proton.
Okay, dot me.
That's the best way to get incontact with me.
Speaker 2 (51:32):
Gotcha.
Well, I have that.
I'll make sure it's added tothe show notes, yeah.
I appreciate it.
So anybody listening can justgo ahead and check it out.
So if someone maybe like agraphic designer or someone else
wants to reach out or someonewho just wants to challenge you,
earlier today you volunteeredto finish out the show and do
the outro.
Yeah, I did, and because yousound just a little bit to me
(51:52):
like denzel, you can just goahead and read that.
Speaker 1 (51:53):
I texted it to you already okay, everybody out
there, please support us byfollowing the show.
Leave us a five-star review onapple podcast.
Thank you so much for listening.
We'll catch you next week whenwe share conversations
surrounding real issues we dealwith every day Manhood matters.
(52:15):
We're out.
Speaker 2 (52:18):
I'll take your band on that, though you even drive.
You're just ready A podcast forall but a point of view.
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