November 11, 2025 • 12 mins
Let’s be honest: a lot of men secretly wonder if following Jesus means becoming weak, soft, or less manly. Some even think being a Christian man makes you a pushover. But is that really the truth? In this episode of The Manhood Tribes Show, Don tackles the controversial question head-on: does following Jesus make you a “p*ssy”… or does it actually call you into a stronger, more courageous version of manhood?
We break down why modern culture — and even many churches — often portray Jesus as soft, meek, and fragile. But the real Jesus of the Gospels was anything but weak. He confronted corrupt authorities, spoke truth that sparked riots, endured brutal suffering with unshakable resolve, and sacrificed His life for the sake of others. That’s not weakness. That’s strength, courage, and manhood at its highest level.
If you’ve ever struggled with the idea that Christianity makes men passive, or wondered how following Jesus fits with being strong, bold, and respected, this conversation will give you a whole new vision of biblical masculinity. You’ll discover that Jesus was not only holy and humble — He was also fearless, powerful, and fiercely manly. Following Him doesn’t diminish your masculinity; it refines and elevates it.
Timestamps:
00:00 Does Following Jesus Make You Weak?
04:12 The Problem with the “Soft Jesus” Image
12:47 Confrontational, Bold, and Respected
21:05 Jesus’ Strength and Sacrifice
31:18 What True Christian Masculinity Looks Like
💪 Want to know how you measure up as a man? Take our free quiz, called How Manly Are You? and learn how you can get better at being a man. Download for free at manhoodtribes.com/manly. 💪
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Don Ross (00:00):
Okay, let's just come out and say it.
Some men think that followingJesus makes you into a p*ssy I
know it's crass language.
It feels more than a little bitirreverent to say it, but.
It's an idea that's out there,and so we need to talk about it
as men.
There's a lot of us who carrythat idea in the back of our
(00:22):
heads, and so we need toactually address the fact that
does being a follower of Jesusmake me weak?
Does it somehow make me soft oris what I'm supposed to be as a
follower of Jesus?
A man who is weak and soft andnot thought of well by other
(00:43):
men?
Because honestly, I think a lotof men fear that that's what
we're being asked to do if we'regoing to follow Jesus.
My name's Don.
I'm here with you on the ManhoodTribe Show, and we have been
talking for the past severalweeks now about this idea that
Jesus is the man most worthfollowing, but we're running
(01:05):
into this problem.
Which is that most of us, whenwe think about Jesus, don't
really think of a man that wewant to follow.
We might think of a holy figurethat we want to follow, a
religious teacher that we wantto follow, but we don't think of
Jesus as a man that we want tofollow.
(01:27):
And for a lot of us, that stopsus in our tracks.
If we're gonna be honest, wewant to be men.
We want to be thought of asmanly men, and if following
Jesus causes us to have tocompromise on that, for some of
us, that's too much of asacrifice.
That's too much to ask.
We're not willing to give thatup.
(01:48):
That might come in the form of.
Uh, some things that our cultureconsiders to be toxic, like
wanting to chase around women,or wanting to be the guy who,
you know, thinks a lot about hisphysique and how intimidating
and aggressive he can be.
Some of those things aren'tnecessarily good as men anyway,
(02:09):
so it might be right for us togive those up.
But in giving those things up,does it mean that like we can't
be a man who wants to love awoman and be thought of as manly
by women?
Can it mean that we have to giveup?
Like pursuing having a reallygood physique and being strong
and muscular, or even imposing alittle bit with our physique?
(02:32):
Does it mean that we have togive up some of those manly
kinds of things that our cultureconsiders to be manly and order
to be a follower of Jesus?
I don't think that it reallydoes, but if you hang around
churches, the picture thatyou're gonna get of Jesus is not
of any of those things.
So what do we do about that?
(02:54):
Well, let's start by just beinghonest about where this idea of
a weak soft Jesus came from.
Where did we get that picture ofhim?
We do see in the stories ofJesus that he is referred to at
times as meek, as gentle, asmild, as lowly as a man
(03:15):
acquainted with grief andsuffering.
So there, there is some of thispicture of Jesus that is kind of
down and out, um, a little biton the like.
Uh, softer side of the way thathe dealt with relationships.
He was humble and typically notconfrontational.
(03:38):
And so we just kind of see thislike, you know, man who doesn't
appear in any way to be like thebull in the China shop.
Uh, he doesn't seem to be a ma,a man who pushes his weight
around to get his way.
He doesn't seem to be a manthat, you know, tries to be
intimidating.
And yet at the same time.
(03:59):
We do see a man who is fiercelyrespected, a man whose followers
very desperately wanted to belike him and hung on every word
that he had to say.
We also see a man who regularlygot himself into trouble, who
wasn't afraid to use words thathe knew were either going to.
(04:20):
Pick a fight with theauthorities around him or really
anger the people around him in away that they not only like were
upset with him, but even attimes tried to kill him.
This was a guy who seems like hedidn't always choose his words
wisely, although of course weknow he was choosing his words
wisely.
It just meant that for him,choosing his words wisely was
(04:43):
also a very aggressive thing todo.
He would pick a fight and do iton purpose.
This was a guy who wasn't reallylike.
Just meek and mild and soft andweak.
This was a guy who was sort oflike aggressive and
confrontational and probablycame across as a little bit
arrogant or self diluted, or,you know, even at times, like he
(05:07):
knew better than everybody elsedid, or somehow that he was
right and everybody else waswrong.
These are pictures that werarely, if ever hear about
Jesus.
But the people in Jesus' day,maybe, and especially the ones
who weren't his followers, thiswas very definitely the
impression that they had of him.
Jesus was their antagonist.
(05:28):
He was the guy that was kind ofseen as the enemy.
He was the one they were tryingto put down.
He was seen as starting arebellion.
He was seen as a rioter and as aleader of rebels.
This is not the kind of guy thatsounds like soft and weak and
meek and mild like.
That leads a rebellion.
(05:48):
Nah, not the same kind of guy,and yet that's exactly who Jesus
was.
He was contrary to a lot ofthese ideas that we have of him.
But those ideas, even thoughthat they are in the scriptures,
they're probably even morecommonly in our pictures and in
our images and our artwork andour film, all of our depictions
(06:10):
of Jesus, especially in themodern West, in the English
speaking world in particular.
Tend to be pictures of Jesusthat paint him with very soft
lighting and flowing hair, andhe's often holding sheep or
walking through some countrysidewith sweet, innocent children.
(06:30):
He, you know, very delicatelyputs his hand or his arm on
women.
He tilts his head in a way thatmakes him look soft.
All of these things are the.
Images that we have of Jesus.
And so it's no wonder that ourjust kind of like common
perception of Jesus is of a manwho is uh, just sort of soft and
(06:53):
sweet.
But again, the pictures of Jesusthat actually come from the
stories about him are anythingbut that.
It's our art and our.
Imagery that have depicted himin that way and have failed to
depict him in all the other waysthat he shows up in those same
stories that can make him seemas a more well-rounded man as a
(07:15):
fully fledged person whoactually lived and had a real
life and wasn't just this likeidealized, almost cartoonish
religious leader figure.
Jesus was a man and he lived asa man and like a man.
He did manly things and heinteracted with people in ways
that really only men would do.
(07:38):
So when we think about the kindof life that Jesus lived and
therefore the kind of life thatwe not only need to live but can
live, it is a life that is verymanly.
It's okay to be a follower ofJesus who picks a fight every
once in a while, especially ifit's a fight for the right
reasons.
If you're standing up for thethings that Jesus would stand up
(07:58):
for, then maybe a fight iswhat's necessary.
It's okay to be a man whorepresents manly qualities like
strength, and courage and honorbecause Jesus represented all of
those things.
Jesus was a strong man.
We've talked about that on thischannel a lot before.
How he had the physicality toendure not only miles and miles
(08:20):
of walking and lots and lots offasting or limited food, but he
had the physicality to endurehis own death to carry the
cross.
To his own death and then toproceed with it in a way that he
didn't cry out.
He didn't seem weak in the waythat he suffered, but he went
through it in a way that wasprobably more manly and more
(08:43):
strong than most of us would beable to do.
He showed tremendous courage inthe face of not only the
religious oppression of his dayand the political occupation and
oppression of his day, but inthe spiritual realm as well,
where he dealt regularly withspiritual powers who were
(09:03):
against him, and he stood toe totoe with them and defeated them.
This was a man who was notafraid of standing for the right
things and exercising power whenit was the right thing to do, to
be able to set other peoplefree.
He didn't exercise power in away to be able to put others
down.
He exercised power in a way tolift them up, to liberate them
(09:27):
from things that were evil sothat they could live the kind of
life that they were always meantto live.
These are the kinds of thingsthat as a man you are called to
do.
If you follow Jesus, you have astrength to be able to offer.
Jesus gives you gifts that hewants you to use, not simply to
(09:47):
serve others, but to make theworld better through the gifts
that you have been given.
To bring about creativity andingenuity and imagination and
making the world a better placefor others.
These are the ways that he givesyou gifts and expects you to use
them.
Following Jesus doesn't make youa pussy, following Jesus asks
(10:12):
you to be a man, and especiallyin the way that Jesus most
modeled it, which is that hegave up his life for the sake of
others.
In our culture today, the waythat we talk about men is often
those who try to use theirstrength and their power to be
able to benefit themselves.
(10:32):
They build up their biceps andwork on their six pack abs so
that they can increase theirbody count or they work on their
career so that they can justmake more money to be able to
buy more flashy cars and biggerhouses.
Right.
These are the kinds of thingsthat we promote within our
society for what it means to bea man.
But Jesus modeled a reallydifferent idea about
(10:54):
masculinity, that having thosethings wasn't bad.
Being strong and beingcourageous was actually a good
thing.
Using those things to be able tocontinue to gain was a totally
fine thing to do.
But you gained for the sake ofbeing able to help others and to
sacrifice for them so that theycould be lifted up as well.
(11:17):
Jesus sacrificed his own life,and that's what he calls us as
men to as well.
He calls us to die.
Sometimes, literally, probablymore often metaphorically, but
he's calling us to sacrificeourselves for the sake of
others.
Real men give themselves up sothat others might benefit, and
(11:40):
that's what following Jesus as aman actually looks like.
Now if you've enjoyed thisepisode, and I know it was meant
to be a little controversial,but I hope it sparked some
things for you.
I hope that you will like thisepisode and subscribe to the
channel to be able to get morecontent like this and to help us
get this kind of content infront of other men who, other
(12:00):
men who need to hear it as well.
I also hope that you will go andcheck out a free resource that I
have for you called How Manlyare You?
It's a great way to just assesshow you're doing as a man and
what are some of the ways thatyou can continue to grow and
improve.
So go check itout@manhoodtribes.com slash
manly and you can download thatquiz for free today.
(12:24):
Now, if you liked this episode,I would love to hear what you
think of it.
What is one way that you thinkJesus is a man that you would
like to imitate?
Put that down in the commentsbelow and I will look forward to
engaging with what you have tosay.
And then I will see you againhere next time on the Manhood
Tribe Show.
(12:45):
I'll talk to you then.
Okay, let's just come out and say it.
Some men think that followingJesus makes you into a p*ssy I
know it's crass language.
It feels more than a little bitirreverent to say it, but.
It's an idea that's out there,and so we need to talk about it
as men.
There's a lot of us who carrythat idea in the back of our
(00:22):
heads, and so we need toactually address the fact that
does being a follower of Jesusmake me weak?
Does it somehow make me soft oris what I'm supposed to be as a
follower of Jesus?
A man who is weak and soft andnot thought of well by other
(00:43):
men?
Because honestly, I think a lotof men fear that that's what
we're being asked to do if we'regoing to follow Jesus.
My name's Don.
I'm here with you on the ManhoodTribe Show, and we have been
talking for the past severalweeks now about this idea that
Jesus is the man most worthfollowing, but we're running
(01:05):
into this problem.
Which is that most of us, whenwe think about Jesus, don't
really think of a man that wewant to follow.
We might think of a holy figurethat we want to follow, a
religious teacher that we wantto follow, but we don't think of
Jesus as a man that we want tofollow.
(01:27):
And for a lot of us, that stopsus in our tracks.
If we're gonna be honest, wewant to be men.
We want to be thought of asmanly men, and if following
Jesus causes us to have tocompromise on that, for some of
us, that's too much of asacrifice.
That's too much to ask.
We're not willing to give thatup.
(01:48):
That might come in the form of.
Uh, some things that our cultureconsiders to be toxic, like
wanting to chase around women,or wanting to be the guy who,
you know, thinks a lot about hisphysique and how intimidating
and aggressive he can be.
Some of those things aren'tnecessarily good as men anyway,
(02:09):
so it might be right for us togive those up.
But in giving those things up,does it mean that like we can't
be a man who wants to love awoman and be thought of as manly
by women?
Can it mean that we have to giveup?
Like pursuing having a reallygood physique and being strong
and muscular, or even imposing alittle bit with our physique?
(02:32):
Does it mean that we have togive up some of those manly
kinds of things that our cultureconsiders to be manly and order
to be a follower of Jesus?
I don't think that it reallydoes, but if you hang around
churches, the picture thatyou're gonna get of Jesus is not
of any of those things.
So what do we do about that?
(02:54):
Well, let's start by just beinghonest about where this idea of
a weak soft Jesus came from.
Where did we get that picture ofhim?
We do see in the stories ofJesus that he is referred to at
times as meek, as gentle, asmild, as lowly as a man
(03:15):
acquainted with grief andsuffering.
So there, there is some of thispicture of Jesus that is kind of
down and out, um, a little biton the like.
Uh, softer side of the way thathe dealt with relationships.
He was humble and typically notconfrontational.
(03:38):
And so we just kind of see thislike, you know, man who doesn't
appear in any way to be like thebull in the China shop.
Uh, he doesn't seem to be a ma,a man who pushes his weight
around to get his way.
He doesn't seem to be a manthat, you know, tries to be
intimidating.
And yet at the same time.
(03:59):
We do see a man who is fiercelyrespected, a man whose followers
very desperately wanted to belike him and hung on every word
that he had to say.
We also see a man who regularlygot himself into trouble, who
wasn't afraid to use words thathe knew were either going to.
(04:20):
Pick a fight with theauthorities around him or really
anger the people around him in away that they not only like were
upset with him, but even attimes tried to kill him.
This was a guy who seems like hedidn't always choose his words
wisely, although of course weknow he was choosing his words
wisely.
It just meant that for him,choosing his words wisely was
(04:43):
also a very aggressive thing todo.
He would pick a fight and do iton purpose.
This was a guy who wasn't reallylike.
Just meek and mild and soft andweak.
This was a guy who was sort oflike aggressive and
confrontational and probablycame across as a little bit
arrogant or self diluted, or,you know, even at times, like he
(05:07):
knew better than everybody elsedid, or somehow that he was
right and everybody else waswrong.
These are pictures that werarely, if ever hear about
Jesus.
But the people in Jesus' day,maybe, and especially the ones
who weren't his followers, thiswas very definitely the
impression that they had of him.
Jesus was their antagonist.
(05:28):
He was the guy that was kind ofseen as the enemy.
He was the one they were tryingto put down.
He was seen as starting arebellion.
He was seen as a rioter and as aleader of rebels.
This is not the kind of guy thatsounds like soft and weak and
meek and mild like.
That leads a rebellion.
(05:48):
Nah, not the same kind of guy,and yet that's exactly who Jesus
was.
He was contrary to a lot ofthese ideas that we have of him.
But those ideas, even thoughthat they are in the scriptures,
they're probably even morecommonly in our pictures and in
our images and our artwork andour film, all of our depictions
(06:10):
of Jesus, especially in themodern West, in the English
speaking world in particular.
Tend to be pictures of Jesusthat paint him with very soft
lighting and flowing hair, andhe's often holding sheep or
walking through some countrysidewith sweet, innocent children.
(06:30):
He, you know, very delicatelyputs his hand or his arm on
women.
He tilts his head in a way thatmakes him look soft.
All of these things are the.
Images that we have of Jesus.
And so it's no wonder that ourjust kind of like common
perception of Jesus is of a manwho is uh, just sort of soft and
(06:53):
sweet.
But again, the pictures of Jesusthat actually come from the
stories about him are anythingbut that.
It's our art and our.
Imagery that have depicted himin that way and have failed to
depict him in all the other waysthat he shows up in those same
stories that can make him seemas a more well-rounded man as a
(07:15):
fully fledged person whoactually lived and had a real
life and wasn't just this likeidealized, almost cartoonish
religious leader figure.
Jesus was a man and he lived asa man and like a man.
He did manly things and heinteracted with people in ways
that really only men would do.
(07:38):
So when we think about the kindof life that Jesus lived and
therefore the kind of life thatwe not only need to live but can
live, it is a life that is verymanly.
It's okay to be a follower ofJesus who picks a fight every
once in a while, especially ifit's a fight for the right
reasons.
If you're standing up for thethings that Jesus would stand up
(07:58):
for, then maybe a fight iswhat's necessary.
It's okay to be a man whorepresents manly qualities like
strength, and courage and honorbecause Jesus represented all of
those things.
Jesus was a strong man.
We've talked about that on thischannel a lot before.
How he had the physicality toendure not only miles and miles
(08:20):
of walking and lots and lots offasting or limited food, but he
had the physicality to endurehis own death to carry the
cross.
To his own death and then toproceed with it in a way that he
didn't cry out.
He didn't seem weak in the waythat he suffered, but he went
through it in a way that wasprobably more manly and more
(08:43):
strong than most of us would beable to do.
He showed tremendous courage inthe face of not only the
religious oppression of his dayand the political occupation and
oppression of his day, but inthe spiritual realm as well,
where he dealt regularly withspiritual powers who were
(09:03):
against him, and he stood toe totoe with them and defeated them.
This was a man who was notafraid of standing for the right
things and exercising power whenit was the right thing to do, to
be able to set other peoplefree.
He didn't exercise power in away to be able to put others
down.
He exercised power in a way tolift them up, to liberate them
(09:27):
from things that were evil sothat they could live the kind of
life that they were always meantto live.
These are the kinds of thingsthat as a man you are called to
do.
If you follow Jesus, you have astrength to be able to offer.
Jesus gives you gifts that hewants you to use, not simply to
(09:47):
serve others, but to make theworld better through the gifts
that you have been given.
To bring about creativity andingenuity and imagination and
making the world a better placefor others.
These are the ways that he givesyou gifts and expects you to use
them.
Following Jesus doesn't make youa pussy, following Jesus asks
(10:12):
you to be a man, and especiallyin the way that Jesus most
modeled it, which is that hegave up his life for the sake of
others.
In our culture today, the waythat we talk about men is often
those who try to use theirstrength and their power to be
able to benefit themselves.
(10:32):
They build up their biceps andwork on their six pack abs so
that they can increase theirbody count or they work on their
career so that they can justmake more money to be able to
buy more flashy cars and biggerhouses.
Right.
These are the kinds of thingsthat we promote within our
society for what it means to bea man.
But Jesus modeled a reallydifferent idea about
(10:54):
masculinity, that having thosethings wasn't bad.
Being strong and beingcourageous was actually a good
thing.
Using those things to be able tocontinue to gain was a totally
fine thing to do.
But you gained for the sake ofbeing able to help others and to
sacrifice for them so that theycould be lifted up as well.
(11:17):
Jesus sacrificed his own life,and that's what he calls us as
men to as well.
He calls us to die.
Sometimes, literally, probablymore often metaphorically, but
he's calling us to sacrificeourselves for the sake of
others.
Real men give themselves up sothat others might benefit, and
(11:40):
that's what following Jesus as aman actually looks like.
Now if you've enjoyed thisepisode, and I know it was meant
to be a little controversial,but I hope it sparked some
things for you.
I hope that you will like thisepisode and subscribe to the
channel to be able to get morecontent like this and to help us
get this kind of content infront of other men who, other
(12:00):
men who need to hear it as well.
I also hope that you will go andcheck out a free resource that I
have for you called How Manlyare You?
It's a great way to just assesshow you're doing as a man and
what are some of the ways thatyou can continue to grow and
improve.
So go check itout@manhoodtribes.com slash
manly and you can download thatquiz for free today.
(12:24):
Now, if you liked this episode,I would love to hear what you
think of it.
What is one way that you thinkJesus is a man that you would
like to imitate?
Put that down in the commentsbelow and I will look forward to
engaging with what you have tosay.
And then I will see you againhere next time on the Manhood
Tribe Show.
(12:45):
I'll talk to you then.
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