July 1, 2025 • 17 mins
Men face a wealth of struggles today. Many men feel overwhelmed by the pressures to be financial providers, emotional supports, and leaders in all areas of life, often leading to exhaustion and isolation.
We discuss the importance of redefining manhood, fostering strong male friendships, and incorporating vulnerability as a masculine trait.
We also explore practical steps to relieve these burdens, such as engaging in honest self-reflection, seeking professional help, strengthening male relationships, and investing in one’s faith.
00:00 The Weight Men Carry: An Introduction
02:22 The Modern Provider: More Than Just Finances
03:51 The Emotional Toll of Being the Rock
05:53 The Isolation of Responsibility
10:37 Finding Freedom: Redefining Manhood
14:23 Building Strong Male Relationships
15:33 Faith as a Foundation
16:35 Join the Manhood Tribes Community
17:21 Engage and Share Your Burdens
💪 Want to know how you measure up as a man? Take our free quiz, called How Manly Are You? and learn how you can get better at being a man. Download for free at manhoodtribes.com/manly. 💪
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I talk to a lot of men aboutwhat's going on in their lives,
and one of the things that Ihear most frequently is not only
how tired and exhausted men feellike they are, but also that
they feel like they have to justkeep going.
There's this feeling of, if Iwere to fall apart.
Everything and everyone aroundme would fall apart as well.
(00:24):
And so for the sake of keepingeverything together, I've got to
figure out how to press on howto just keep going just a little
bit further, how to make it tothe next hurdle or the next
step, or the next milestone.
How to just hold my shittogether for long enough so that
(00:44):
everything doesn't come crashingdown.
Are you wrestling with that?
I think it's a pretty commonfeeling from men these days.
The load that we have to carryfrom not only being the
financial provider forourselves, our families, and
sometimes even more than that,but also being a provider in a
whole lot of other ways, whetherthat's leadership, stability,
(01:08):
emotional support, relationalavailability, you name it.
We have to be a provider in allkinds of ways, and the load is
just becoming more than we canbear.
But what were to happen if itwere to fall off of our
shoulders, would the worldreally fall apart?
It can kind of feel like it.
(01:29):
Here at the Manhood TribesChannel, my job is to try to do
a few things for us as men.
I want to give us a clear visionof what it means to be a man.
I want to give us a clearchallenge to build strong male
friendships, and I want to giveus a clear path for how to do
both things.
Now, you might be wondering, asI say that, what does that have
(01:49):
to do with this topic of feelinglike I can't let things fall
apart?
Well, one of the reasons that westart to feel that way is we're
not really sure what it means tobe a man, and so we're taking on
all of the things, but.
One of the other big reasons isthat we don't really have strong
male friendships around us, andso we're trying to carry all of
(02:11):
this load by ourselves.
Okay.
I think both of these things area reality, and I want to talk
about a lot of that and justunpack this idea a little bit
more.
But let's, let's dig in a littlebit more to this problem of
being a provider who has tocarry the load for everyone.
Are you feeling like this?
Are you feeling like all of thatresponsibility weighs on your
(02:33):
shoulders?
In previous generations, theidea of being a provider was
really simply just about being afinancial provider.
Men worked, women raised thekids and managed the home, and
these kind of spheres ofinfluence were largely separate
from one another.
Now, I'm not saying that wasnecessarily a good model.
There's all kinds of problemsfrom that that my generation and
(02:55):
younger generations of men havedealt with because it
disconnected us from ourfathers.
But what we've replaced thatwith is this sense that both men
and women have to do.
Everything.
We've gotta carry all of theload on our shoulders.
And as men, the leadership ofthat still primarily falls to
(03:15):
us.
And this is true, especially infamily settings, but it's, it's
not just for guys who arehusbands and dads.
This is true maybe in whateversettings you're dealing with,
whether that's just your ownpersonal finances, career goals,
future retirement plans, uh, youknow, life's ambitions,
friendships, relationships, youname it like.
(03:35):
Anything and everything thatyou're responsible for, it's
feeling like more than youreally have the capacity to be
able to manage.
The idea of being a provider isno longer just about finances.
It's about every aspect of life.
And as the man, one of the chiefways that we are looked to for
being the providers is to kindof be this like sense of
(03:59):
stability.
We're meant to kind of be therock that everyone else can sort
of lean on.
Sometimes I talk about it inthe, in the sense of feeling
like.
I'm the son and my family arethe planets that just get to
kind of orbit around me.
Like their worlds keep going andthey can kind of spin outta
control if they need to, butI've gotta be stable.
(04:20):
I've gotta be centered andgrounded so that they have the
freedom to kind of wobble intheir orbits around me.
I'll tell you what, that feelsexhausting at times.
It feels like, okay, I'mproviding for everybody else,
but who's providing for me?
What happens when I'm having arough day or a rough week or a
rough year, and I feel like Ineed to just kind of like
(04:44):
emotionally wobble for a littlewhile to just express the fact
that, gosh, my life is hard too.
There are things that are reallydifficult and out of my control
in my world as well.
Sometimes my emotions are morethan I know how to manage.
Sometimes things aren't going myway and I just wanna lose it.
What happens when that's thecase when everyone else is
trying to orbit around me andthey need me to be stable and
(05:08):
grounded?
What happens when I need to kindof fall apart for a little bit?
There's, no provision for that.
There's no place in our worldright now for men to be able to
lose it.
For men to be able to have a, acrack in the wall, there's no
place for us to be able to beunguarded and to just kind of
like.
You know, rest for a little bitand let the responsibilities lie
(05:31):
with someone else.
Now, this is part of what itmeans to be a man.
Carrying some of that load is anecessary part of being leaders
in our homes and families andcommunities.
But the way that we haveinterpreted that as if we have
to do it all by ourselves isn'thealthy and isn't the way that
men are meant to function.
(05:53):
If you're feeling like you neverhave time to take a break, if
you feel like you're never offthe clock, that sense of if I
were to fall apart everythingand everyone else is gonna fall
apart, if you're feeling theweight of that, then you're
likely doing that out of a placeof isolation.
You're feeling the weight ofthat because you're trying to
carry all of it by yourself.
(06:13):
You don't have anyone else inyour life who is helping you
trying to manage that load oreven just be empathetic with you
over the fact that the load thatyou're trying to carry is too
much.
It's more than one person ismeant to bear.
And what that does to you is itcauses you to emotionally and
relationally disconnect from thepeople who are in your world.
(06:34):
All those people who areorbiting around you and who are
leaning on you for stability andcomfort and support, you begin
to emotionally isolate.
From them even.
And so the whole point of youlike being able to be a provider
in terms of yourself beingrelationally available, being
emotionally supportive, thewhole point of being able to do
(06:54):
all of that, you start to doreally, really poorly at you
start pulling away because it'sjust too much to try to manage
everybody else while you're alsohaving to try to manage
yourself.
You disconnect.
And in that disconnect we getfurther and further away from
the things that actually willhelp us be able to navigate the
(07:16):
stress and this burden thatwe're trying to carry.
So what does it look like?
I was talking to a guy just theother day who was describing
this situation in terms of whatit felt like to be available to
his wife and the fact that whenhe got home from work, it was no
longer kind of this Americanstory of the wife who wants to
(07:40):
ask.
Her husband about what his dayat work was like.
Now for him it was when he getshome from work, he needs to ask
his wife how her day at workwas.
He needs to ask his kids howtheir day at school was.
He needs to be able to check inon where everything is going on
in the house.
What kids' activities he's gonnaneed to be available and show up
(08:01):
for what homework he needs to beable to help out with what
events are coming up, that heneeds to be available for what
bills he needs to make sure theyhave enough money to pay and are
actually getting paid.
What is going on on the familycalendar that he needs to make
sure that he blocks out so thathe can be available.
And after all of that is done,no one has really checked in
with him.
(08:22):
How was his day?
What's going on in his world?
Because there's so much to haveto check in on.
There's so much to have to doand be available for.
He was just describing the factthat home feels like one of the
most isolating places that he'sbeen in.
It feels like the very lastplace that he wants to go when
he's not at his best because heknows that when he shows up at
(08:44):
home, he's expected to be at hisbest.
He's got to be on.
He's got to be able to beinvolved in all the
conversations.
He's got to be able to ask allthe right questions.
He's got to check in in all theright ways, and he's got to be
at the top of his game.
Guys, no man can survive in thatfor forever.
A home is meant to be a placewhere we can let our guards
(09:08):
down.
It's supposed to be the placewhere we can rest and relax.
But B, the fact that you tryingto shoulder all of that load by
yourself has kind ofunintentionally created a home
environment where you aren'treally safe is a problem.
It's a problem, and men, we needto kind of own a little bit of
the fact that we havecontributed to that problem.
(09:32):
We have wanted to take on theload.
We have wanted to be responsiblemen.
We have wanted to try to showour families and our communities
that we can be the kind of menwho can manage all of that
stuff, that we can show up inall those places.
A lot of us grew up in familieswhere our dads didn't do any of
that kind of stuff, and a lot ofus are trying to make up ground
for that by showing up in theways and in the places that our
(09:53):
dads didn't.
That's a really noble thing totry to do, but we're trying to
do it by ourselves.
We're trying to carry all thatload on our own, and we just
aren't meant to do that.
No man is meant to be able tocarry all of that by himself, so
it's no wonder that you'reexhausted, that you feel like
you're falling apart, and everyday you feel like you've just
(10:16):
got to push just a little bitfurther.
Eventually, guys, you're gonnacrack.
You are going to fall apart.
Some ball is going to getdropped, and something
detrimental is going to happenbecause you just can't sustain
the pace and the way that youare living right now.
So what do we need to doinstead?
(10:37):
What does freedom in one ofthese ways begin to look like?
What does it start to look liketo be a man who lives
differently than that and yetstill does make himself
available and supportive to thepeople in his life that he cares
about the most?
First things first, we need torevisit the five marks of
manhood and talk about somethings that are really
(10:59):
important.
The first two of those fivemarks of manhood are strength
and courage.
When you combine those twothings, you can get something
that we at Manhood Tribes talkabout in terms of being
vulnerable with our stories andwith what's going on in our
lives.
We talk about getting naked.
I.
This is really just our way ofbeing able to say, we've got to
(11:20):
have places and people in ourlives where we're being honest
about what our reality actuallylooks like.
We've got to talk about it.
Vulnerability can be a masculinething.
It is something that you'regoing to need to be able to
enter into in order to be ableto continue to do all these
other five marks of manhoodwealth.
(11:41):
If you want to stay strong, ifyou want to be able to be
courageous, it takes gettingnaked.
You've got to open up and behonest about what you're dealing
with.
What does your reality looklike?
Who are you able to talk toabout the fact that you feel
like you're on the verge offalling apart?
Who can you tell that you thinkthat if, if things fall apart
for you, they're gonna fallapart for everybody?
(12:02):
What does that look and feellike for you, and where are you
able to talk about it?
Maybe at the moment you don'tfeel like you have anyone to be
able to talk to about thosekinds of things, and I can
understand that that becomes aproblem.
So you need to start withyourself.
You need to start by just beinghonest and raw with yourself,
(12:22):
giving yourself permission toactually talk about what's going
on with you internally.
Let it all out.
Even whether that takes the formof writing it down in a journal
or screaming it in yourbackyard, you know, whatever
that looks like.
You've got to create some spaceto be honest with yourself and
to let yourself have thepermission to say, yeah, this
(12:43):
really sucks.
I.
I, I don't feel like I can keepgoing like this.
I'm not gonna make it.
You need to be able to say thosethings out loud so that you know
that is your actual reality andyou're not trying to live in a
fake world where you're justassuming, ah, I got this.
Like, yeah, this is hard, butI'm just gonna keep pressing
through.
And it's, you know, maybe it's aproblem for all these other
guys, but it's not gonna be aproblem for me.
(13:04):
I can make it, I can be theexception to the rule.
Don't keep pretending you're notgonna be the exception to the
rule because no man is meant tobe the exception to this rule.
That's not how we're designed.
You aren't meant to do all ofthis alone.
But if all that you have tostart with is yourself, then
it's time to start figuring outsome other ways and places to be
able to do that.
(13:25):
Maybe you need to see aprofessional counselor or a
therapist, someone who you canset up a, a formal and
professional relationship withwhere you can talk about those
kinds of things.
If that's the best option thatyou have for being able to find
a place to talk about somethings and to do it quickly,
then that probably is a greatoption.
You need to pursue it.
Counseling and therapy is not asign of weakness.
(13:46):
It's a sign of courage.
It's a sign of saying, Hey, as aman, I know that these things
are going on with me and I'vegot to face them.
I've got to address them.
Guys who don't go to counselingand therapy because they think
it's a sign of weakness areactually avoiding what's going
on in their lives, and that'swhat true weakness looks like.
It's un courageous to not facethe things in your life.
(14:08):
So summing up that manly courageand just have some humility to
go along with it and say, I needthis.
I need a place to be able totalk about these things, and
it's gonna take some courage tobe able to do so.
But if I need to start with atherapist, that's where I need
to start.
In the meantime, you need to bedeveloping strong male
relationships.
You need to be connected withother men in your life.
(14:30):
So wherever you can find ways todo that, whether that's by
building some friendships withguys that you work out with at
the gym, or guys that you go tochurch with, or guys who are.
Dads of your, your kids' friendsor something like that.
Uh, guys who are involved in ahobby that you are involved in.
Maybe you're not involved in anyhobbies and you need to get one
(14:51):
so you can get around some otherguys.
Just pick something, pick a wayto begin getting.
Other male friendships in yourlife and start finding even just
one or two of those guys thatyou can have real and honest
conversations with.
We're gonna talk more about howto do those kinds of
relationships on this channelquite a bit.
In fact, we've got some contenton that already.
(15:12):
So if you want to go back andlook at one of our previous
series on building strong malefriendships, you can go and look
at some of that content, butjust know that's a big part of
what we do here at ManhoodTribes.
And last but not least, I wantto really encourage you as well
that this might be the time andthe opportunity for you to
really examine, do I need tobuild up my faith?
(15:33):
Is my faith something that couldhelp me be able to shoulder the
load of what I'm dealing with?
As a man who's a Christian and afollower of Jesus, I want to
encourage you that faith can bea rock for you when you feel
like you're having to be a rockfor everyone else, you aren't
meant to do this alone andfollowing Jesus gives you a way
(15:55):
to be able to walk with someone,to walk with Jesus himself, who
is capable of carrying yourburden and all of those other
burdens around you so that youdon't have to try to do it on
your own.
Join a church, get involved in amen's group.
Find a way to be able to connectwith other men who are trying to
do the same, and use thatresource of your faith, your
(16:15):
relationship with God as a wayto be able to navigate the
incredible burden that you'redealing with.
Okay.
Those are some basic ways tostart to be able to deal with
the load that we as men aretrying to carry.
If you're enjoying this kind ofcontent, I want to encourage you
to like and subscribe, to followalong with what we're doing.
But I also want to encourage youto consider joining our Manhood
(16:39):
Tribes community.
Right now we are getting readyto launch our tribe community,
and so you can go to manhoodtribes.com/community and find
out what that is going to looklike and how you can be a part
of it.
It is gonna help you be able tolevel up your game as a man so
that you can connect with otherlike-minded men.
Grow in your faith in Jesus andbecome the kind of man that you
(17:01):
truly want to be.
It's gonna be an incrediblespace to connect with other guys
who are resonating with thiskind of content and begin to
develop some of thoserelationships that you really
need to succeed and thrive as aman.
So again, check that out atmanhood tribes.com/community and
put your name on the list tojoin us when we're ready to get
started.
(17:21):
Now I wanna leave you byencouraging you to comment
below.
And to just answer the question,what is one burden that you are
carrying as a man that you feellike no one sees?
Put that down below in thecomments and I look forward to
engaging with you there, andwe'll talk again next time here
at Manhood Tribes.
See you then.
I.
I talk to a lot of men aboutwhat's going on in their lives,
and one of the things that Ihear most frequently is not only
how tired and exhausted men feellike they are, but also that
they feel like they have to justkeep going.
There's this feeling of, if Iwere to fall apart.
Everything and everyone aroundme would fall apart as well.
(00:24):
And so for the sake of keepingeverything together, I've got to
figure out how to press on howto just keep going just a little
bit further, how to make it tothe next hurdle or the next
step, or the next milestone.
How to just hold my shittogether for long enough so that
(00:44):
everything doesn't come crashingdown.
Are you wrestling with that?
I think it's a pretty commonfeeling from men these days.
The load that we have to carryfrom not only being the
financial provider forourselves, our families, and
sometimes even more than that,but also being a provider in a
whole lot of other ways, whetherthat's leadership, stability,
(01:08):
emotional support, relationalavailability, you name it.
We have to be a provider in allkinds of ways, and the load is
just becoming more than we canbear.
But what were to happen if itwere to fall off of our
shoulders, would the worldreally fall apart?
It can kind of feel like it.
(01:29):
Here at the Manhood TribesChannel, my job is to try to do
a few things for us as men.
I want to give us a clear visionof what it means to be a man.
I want to give us a clearchallenge to build strong male
friendships, and I want to giveus a clear path for how to do
both things.
Now, you might be wondering, asI say that, what does that have
(01:49):
to do with this topic of feelinglike I can't let things fall
apart?
Well, one of the reasons that westart to feel that way is we're
not really sure what it means tobe a man, and so we're taking on
all of the things, but.
One of the other big reasons isthat we don't really have strong
male friendships around us, andso we're trying to carry all of
(02:11):
this load by ourselves.
Okay.
I think both of these things area reality, and I want to talk
about a lot of that and justunpack this idea a little bit
more.
But let's, let's dig in a littlebit more to this problem of
being a provider who has tocarry the load for everyone.
Are you feeling like this?
Are you feeling like all of thatresponsibility weighs on your
(02:33):
shoulders?
In previous generations, theidea of being a provider was
really simply just about being afinancial provider.
Men worked, women raised thekids and managed the home, and
these kind of spheres ofinfluence were largely separate
from one another.
Now, I'm not saying that wasnecessarily a good model.
There's all kinds of problemsfrom that that my generation and
(02:55):
younger generations of men havedealt with because it
disconnected us from ourfathers.
But what we've replaced thatwith is this sense that both men
and women have to do.
Everything.
We've gotta carry all of theload on our shoulders.
And as men, the leadership ofthat still primarily falls to
(03:15):
us.
And this is true, especially infamily settings, but it's, it's
not just for guys who arehusbands and dads.
This is true maybe in whateversettings you're dealing with,
whether that's just your ownpersonal finances, career goals,
future retirement plans, uh, youknow, life's ambitions,
friendships, relationships, youname it like.
(03:35):
Anything and everything thatyou're responsible for, it's
feeling like more than youreally have the capacity to be
able to manage.
The idea of being a provider isno longer just about finances.
It's about every aspect of life.
And as the man, one of the chiefways that we are looked to for
being the providers is to kindof be this like sense of
(03:59):
stability.
We're meant to kind of be therock that everyone else can sort
of lean on.
Sometimes I talk about it inthe, in the sense of feeling
like.
I'm the son and my family arethe planets that just get to
kind of orbit around me.
Like their worlds keep going andthey can kind of spin outta
control if they need to, butI've gotta be stable.
(04:20):
I've gotta be centered andgrounded so that they have the
freedom to kind of wobble intheir orbits around me.
I'll tell you what, that feelsexhausting at times.
It feels like, okay, I'mproviding for everybody else,
but who's providing for me?
What happens when I'm having arough day or a rough week or a
rough year, and I feel like Ineed to just kind of like
(04:44):
emotionally wobble for a littlewhile to just express the fact
that, gosh, my life is hard too.
There are things that are reallydifficult and out of my control
in my world as well.
Sometimes my emotions are morethan I know how to manage.
Sometimes things aren't going myway and I just wanna lose it.
What happens when that's thecase when everyone else is
trying to orbit around me andthey need me to be stable and
(05:08):
grounded?
What happens when I need to kindof fall apart for a little bit?
There's, no provision for that.
There's no place in our worldright now for men to be able to
lose it.
For men to be able to have a, acrack in the wall, there's no
place for us to be able to beunguarded and to just kind of
like.
You know, rest for a little bitand let the responsibilities lie
(05:31):
with someone else.
Now, this is part of what itmeans to be a man.
Carrying some of that load is anecessary part of being leaders
in our homes and families andcommunities.
But the way that we haveinterpreted that as if we have
to do it all by ourselves isn'thealthy and isn't the way that
men are meant to function.
(05:53):
If you're feeling like you neverhave time to take a break, if
you feel like you're never offthe clock, that sense of if I
were to fall apart everythingand everyone else is gonna fall
apart, if you're feeling theweight of that, then you're
likely doing that out of a placeof isolation.
You're feeling the weight ofthat because you're trying to
carry all of it by yourself.
(06:13):
You don't have anyone else inyour life who is helping you
trying to manage that load oreven just be empathetic with you
over the fact that the load thatyou're trying to carry is too
much.
It's more than one person ismeant to bear.
And what that does to you is itcauses you to emotionally and
relationally disconnect from thepeople who are in your world.
(06:34):
All those people who areorbiting around you and who are
leaning on you for stability andcomfort and support, you begin
to emotionally isolate.
From them even.
And so the whole point of youlike being able to be a provider
in terms of yourself beingrelationally available, being
emotionally supportive, thewhole point of being able to do
(06:54):
all of that, you start to doreally, really poorly at you
start pulling away because it'sjust too much to try to manage
everybody else while you're alsohaving to try to manage
yourself.
You disconnect.
And in that disconnect we getfurther and further away from
the things that actually willhelp us be able to navigate the
(07:16):
stress and this burden thatwe're trying to carry.
So what does it look like?
I was talking to a guy just theother day who was describing
this situation in terms of whatit felt like to be available to
his wife and the fact that whenhe got home from work, it was no
longer kind of this Americanstory of the wife who wants to
(07:40):
ask.
Her husband about what his dayat work was like.
Now for him it was when he getshome from work, he needs to ask
his wife how her day at workwas.
He needs to ask his kids howtheir day at school was.
He needs to be able to check inon where everything is going on
in the house.
What kids' activities he's gonnaneed to be available and show up
(08:01):
for what homework he needs to beable to help out with what
events are coming up, that heneeds to be available for what
bills he needs to make sure theyhave enough money to pay and are
actually getting paid.
What is going on on the familycalendar that he needs to make
sure that he blocks out so thathe can be available.
And after all of that is done,no one has really checked in
with him.
(08:22):
How was his day?
What's going on in his world?
Because there's so much to haveto check in on.
There's so much to have to doand be available for.
He was just describing the factthat home feels like one of the
most isolating places that he'sbeen in.
It feels like the very lastplace that he wants to go when
he's not at his best because heknows that when he shows up at
(08:44):
home, he's expected to be at hisbest.
He's got to be on.
He's got to be able to beinvolved in all the
conversations.
He's got to be able to ask allthe right questions.
He's got to check in in all theright ways, and he's got to be
at the top of his game.
Guys, no man can survive in thatfor forever.
A home is meant to be a placewhere we can let our guards
(09:08):
down.
It's supposed to be the placewhere we can rest and relax.
But B, the fact that you tryingto shoulder all of that load by
yourself has kind ofunintentionally created a home
environment where you aren'treally safe is a problem.
It's a problem, and men, we needto kind of own a little bit of
the fact that we havecontributed to that problem.
(09:32):
We have wanted to take on theload.
We have wanted to be responsiblemen.
We have wanted to try to showour families and our communities
that we can be the kind of menwho can manage all of that
stuff, that we can show up inall those places.
A lot of us grew up in familieswhere our dads didn't do any of
that kind of stuff, and a lot ofus are trying to make up ground
for that by showing up in theways and in the places that our
(09:53):
dads didn't.
That's a really noble thing totry to do, but we're trying to
do it by ourselves.
We're trying to carry all thatload on our own, and we just
aren't meant to do that.
No man is meant to be able tocarry all of that by himself, so
it's no wonder that you'reexhausted, that you feel like
you're falling apart, and everyday you feel like you've just
(10:16):
got to push just a little bitfurther.
Eventually, guys, you're gonnacrack.
You are going to fall apart.
Some ball is going to getdropped, and something
detrimental is going to happenbecause you just can't sustain
the pace and the way that youare living right now.
So what do we need to doinstead?
(10:37):
What does freedom in one ofthese ways begin to look like?
What does it start to look liketo be a man who lives
differently than that and yetstill does make himself
available and supportive to thepeople in his life that he cares
about the most?
First things first, we need torevisit the five marks of
manhood and talk about somethings that are really
(10:59):
important.
The first two of those fivemarks of manhood are strength
and courage.
When you combine those twothings, you can get something
that we at Manhood Tribes talkabout in terms of being
vulnerable with our stories andwith what's going on in our
lives.
We talk about getting naked.
I.
This is really just our way ofbeing able to say, we've got to
(11:20):
have places and people in ourlives where we're being honest
about what our reality actuallylooks like.
We've got to talk about it.
Vulnerability can be a masculinething.
It is something that you'regoing to need to be able to
enter into in order to be ableto continue to do all these
other five marks of manhoodwealth.
(11:41):
If you want to stay strong, ifyou want to be able to be
courageous, it takes gettingnaked.
You've got to open up and behonest about what you're dealing
with.
What does your reality looklike?
Who are you able to talk toabout the fact that you feel
like you're on the verge offalling apart?
Who can you tell that you thinkthat if, if things fall apart
for you, they're gonna fallapart for everybody?
(12:02):
What does that look and feellike for you, and where are you
able to talk about it?
Maybe at the moment you don'tfeel like you have anyone to be
able to talk to about thosekinds of things, and I can
understand that that becomes aproblem.
So you need to start withyourself.
You need to start by just beinghonest and raw with yourself,
(12:22):
giving yourself permission toactually talk about what's going
on with you internally.
Let it all out.
Even whether that takes the formof writing it down in a journal
or screaming it in yourbackyard, you know, whatever
that looks like.
You've got to create some spaceto be honest with yourself and
to let yourself have thepermission to say, yeah, this
(12:43):
really sucks.
I.
I, I don't feel like I can keepgoing like this.
I'm not gonna make it.
You need to be able to say thosethings out loud so that you know
that is your actual reality andyou're not trying to live in a
fake world where you're justassuming, ah, I got this.
Like, yeah, this is hard, butI'm just gonna keep pressing
through.
And it's, you know, maybe it's aproblem for all these other
guys, but it's not gonna be aproblem for me.
(13:04):
I can make it, I can be theexception to the rule.
Don't keep pretending you're notgonna be the exception to the
rule because no man is meant tobe the exception to this rule.
That's not how we're designed.
You aren't meant to do all ofthis alone.
But if all that you have tostart with is yourself, then
it's time to start figuring outsome other ways and places to be
able to do that.
(13:25):
Maybe you need to see aprofessional counselor or a
therapist, someone who you canset up a, a formal and
professional relationship withwhere you can talk about those
kinds of things.
If that's the best option thatyou have for being able to find
a place to talk about somethings and to do it quickly,
then that probably is a greatoption.
You need to pursue it.
Counseling and therapy is not asign of weakness.
(13:46):
It's a sign of courage.
It's a sign of saying, Hey, as aman, I know that these things
are going on with me and I'vegot to face them.
I've got to address them.
Guys who don't go to counselingand therapy because they think
it's a sign of weakness areactually avoiding what's going
on in their lives, and that'swhat true weakness looks like.
It's un courageous to not facethe things in your life.
(14:08):
So summing up that manly courageand just have some humility to
go along with it and say, I needthis.
I need a place to be able totalk about these things, and
it's gonna take some courage tobe able to do so.
But if I need to start with atherapist, that's where I need
to start.
In the meantime, you need to bedeveloping strong male
relationships.
You need to be connected withother men in your life.
(14:30):
So wherever you can find ways todo that, whether that's by
building some friendships withguys that you work out with at
the gym, or guys that you go tochurch with, or guys who are.
Dads of your, your kids' friendsor something like that.
Uh, guys who are involved in ahobby that you are involved in.
Maybe you're not involved in anyhobbies and you need to get one
(14:51):
so you can get around some otherguys.
Just pick something, pick a wayto begin getting.
Other male friendships in yourlife and start finding even just
one or two of those guys thatyou can have real and honest
conversations with.
We're gonna talk more about howto do those kinds of
relationships on this channelquite a bit.
In fact, we've got some contenton that already.
(15:12):
So if you want to go back andlook at one of our previous
series on building strong malefriendships, you can go and look
at some of that content, butjust know that's a big part of
what we do here at ManhoodTribes.
And last but not least, I wantto really encourage you as well
that this might be the time andthe opportunity for you to
really examine, do I need tobuild up my faith?
(15:33):
Is my faith something that couldhelp me be able to shoulder the
load of what I'm dealing with?
As a man who's a Christian and afollower of Jesus, I want to
encourage you that faith can bea rock for you when you feel
like you're having to be a rockfor everyone else, you aren't
meant to do this alone andfollowing Jesus gives you a way
(15:55):
to be able to walk with someone,to walk with Jesus himself, who
is capable of carrying yourburden and all of those other
burdens around you so that youdon't have to try to do it on
your own.
Join a church, get involved in amen's group.
Find a way to be able to connectwith other men who are trying to
do the same, and use thatresource of your faith, your
(16:15):
relationship with God as a wayto be able to navigate the
incredible burden that you'redealing with.
Okay.
Those are some basic ways tostart to be able to deal with
the load that we as men aretrying to carry.
If you're enjoying this kind ofcontent, I want to encourage you
to like and subscribe, to followalong with what we're doing.
But I also want to encourage youto consider joining our Manhood
(16:39):
Tribes community.
Right now we are getting readyto launch our tribe community,
and so you can go to manhoodtribes.com/community and find
out what that is going to looklike and how you can be a part
of it.
It is gonna help you be able tolevel up your game as a man so
that you can connect with otherlike-minded men.
Grow in your faith in Jesus andbecome the kind of man that you
(17:01):
truly want to be.
It's gonna be an incrediblespace to connect with other guys
who are resonating with thiskind of content and begin to
develop some of thoserelationships that you really
need to succeed and thrive as aman.
So again, check that out atmanhood tribes.com/community and
put your name on the list tojoin us when we're ready to get
started.
(17:21):
Now I wanna leave you byencouraging you to comment
below.
And to just answer the question,what is one burden that you are
carrying as a man that you feellike no one sees?
Put that down below in thecomments and I look forward to
engaging with you there, andwe'll talk again next time here
at Manhood Tribes.
See you then.
I.
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