June 24, 2025 • 17 mins
Men in today’s society are bombarded with conflicting messages about masculinity. From cultural and political pressures to personal expectations, men often feel under attack and confused about how to navigate their identities.
We discuss the extremes of toxic masculinity and overly-aggressive alpha ideals, advocating instead for a balanced approach centered around the 5 Marks of Manhood: strength, courage, skill, honor, and allegiance.
Join us as we explore how to build strong male friendships, adopt healthy masculine traits, and move forward with confidence.
00:00 The Modern Man's Dilemma
02:12 The Cultural and Political Attack on Masculinity
03:55 Extremes of Masculinity: Toxic vs. Alpha Male
09:18 The Middle Ground: Finding a Balanced Masculinity
11:59 The 5 Marks of Manhood
15:28 Conclusion: Embracing a New Vision of Manhood
💪 Want to know how you measure up as a man? Take our free quiz, called How Manly Are You? and learn how you can get better at being a man. Download for free at manhoodtribes.com/manly. 💪
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Everywhere we turn these days,men, it can feel like we are
being told what not to be.
Every part of our culture seemsto have some idea of how we as
men are doing it wrong and whatwe ought to be doing to be
getting it right.
So.
In the cultural and politicalspheres, we're getting it from
(00:21):
the right and the left aboutwhat it means to be a man and
how should we be doing itdifferently and in the family.
Sphere.
We're being told that being aman means we should be doing
these things or not be doingthese things In the work arena,
we're being told how much weshould make and how many hours
we should work, and whether ornot we should work from home or
(00:43):
work in an office.
We're being told how fit weshould be, how we should perform
in the bedroom, what our hormonelevels should be.
There's all kinds of stuff beingthrown at us as men to tell us
what we should and should notbe.
Most of us, I think are justfeeling a little bit under
attack.
Like there's no clear way to beable to figure out a way through
(01:06):
all of this nonsense.
And that's what a lot of it justfeels like is nonsense.
I think a lot of us guys, ifwe're honest, would just kind of
like to get on with our livesand leave all of these debates
behind us.
But the truth of the matter is.
We don't really know how to dothat in spite of all the vitriol
and in spite of all the attackand the aggression that's going
(01:27):
on from one side to the next formen, I think it really kind of
feels like I don't wanna have todeal with all that, but I don't
know what the path forwardactually is.
Maybe I don't want to beinvolved in all of the combat
and the aggression that's goingon and the debate around
masculinity.
But when it comes to just havingto show up as a man.
(01:48):
What does that actually looklike?
How do I do it in a way that I'mdoing it well?
Here at the Manhood TribesChannel, my name is Don, and I'm
trying to help us be able tonavigate those things.
My job at this channel is to tryto give you a clear vision of
what it means to be a man, aclear challenge to build strong
male friendships, and a clearpath on how to do both of those
(02:11):
things.
So today I want to really talkto us about what it feels like
as men who are under attack whenmasculinity as a concept is kind
of under attack in our world, weas men can sort of feel like
that we are under attack.
It starts to feel reallypersonal because it's not just
about the concept ofmasculinity, it's about how men
(02:33):
show up in the world and when itbleeds down from just that level
of ideas.
To actually how we function on aday-to-day basis.
It does start to get personal.
How should we be acting?
How should we be thinking?
How should we be relating toothers?
All of those things are a partof our day-to-day world.
And when masculinity comes underattack, it's not that long
(02:56):
before all of those things comeunder attack as well.
And we as men start to feel thepressure of.
Should we be acting that way?
Should we be handling ourselvesdifferently?
Is the way that I'm functioningas a man, not okay anymore?
That's what it feels like to beunder attack.
I.
And so today I want to try tojust acknowledge what the attack
(03:17):
is, where it's coming from, whatwe as men are dealing with, and
maybe even just a little bit ofhow do we find a way forward?
How do we get through all of thenonsense and all of the
aggression and figure out whatdoes it look like to actually
just show up as a man whodoesn't have to deal with all of
that aggressive.
Vitriolic dialogue from one sideto the next that maybe none of
(03:41):
us really want to be a part ofin the first place, but we're
living in a culture that justcan't help itself.
So let's talk about the debate.
Let's talk about the war.
Let's talk about the fact thatmasculinity is under attack and
from all sides.
On one side of the culturaldebate, you've got this issue of
masculinity is something that istoxic.
(04:02):
Now, to be honest, there's notactually a whole lot of people
who are saying this.
It's kind of become a buzzwordand it gets thrown around a
whole lot these days.
But there is an element to ourculture that considers.
Everything about traditionalmanhood to be bad.
It's not just something thatmaybe needs to be tweaked a
little bit.
It's actually something thatneeds to be completely thrown
(04:24):
out the window and, and maybe weshould throw men out the window
with it.
Like maybe we don't need men asa part of our society at all.
We're.
Perfectly okay to just havewomen ruling things or honestly,
wouldn't it be better if wedidn't really have ideas of
women and men in general, and wejust had people, or we just had
humans.
(04:44):
This is kind of the idea thatthis one side of our culture
really wants to buy into is thatthese traditional ideas of
masculinity are actuallycounterproductive to society as
a whole.
They're toxic, and so we shouldjust cast them aside and men
should think less about beingmen and more about simply being
humans.
That means that we should let goof some of the things from past
(05:08):
versions of masculinity, likephysical strength or physical
aggression, or standing forthings like.
Honor and courage and we, wecertainly should no longer look
towards combat or standing upfor things with force as a way
to be able to handle the worldaround us.
Those are relics from a pastsociety and those things are
(05:30):
considered toxic.
Certainly any kind of sense ofprivilege or leadership that
once belonged to manhood is notsomething that men should aspire
to.
Instead, that should just besomething that is generally
available to all humans, and weas humans should pursue it no
differently than any otherhumans do.
(05:50):
It's not something that menshould pursue or think of being
done better because they aremen.
These things are unhealthy formen and unhealthy for society,
and we should let those thingsgo.
Now, all of that is, well, it'sa theory, but I don't find it to
be a particularly helpfultheory, and I don't think most
men, and frankly, I don't thinkmost women do either.
(06:14):
It's just.
One idea about how to be able tohandle some of the difficulties
that have been true in oursociety.
Look, let's be honest, men indifferent stages and at
different places in our culturalhistory have abused their power.
I.
Men have taken advantage ofwomen.
Men have taken advantage of theworkplace.
Men have taken advantage ofother cultures.
(06:37):
Men have done all kinds ofthings that aren't necessarily
good, but just because men havedone some things wrong doesn't
mean that we need to throw outthe entire idea of masculinity.
But this is what some peoplewould want us to do.
And because of that, some menhave reacted very strongly and
have presented a version ofmasculinity on the other side of
(07:00):
this conversation that's gettingincreasingly difficult for the
culture to tolerate.
It's a version of masculinitythat's entirely focused on power
and subjugating others.
It's about winning the daythrough force.
It's about treating.
Other people, and especiallywomen as objects, it's about
accumulating as much materialwealth and possession as a man
(07:23):
can for himself.
It's about experiencing as muchpleasure and as much personal
satisfaction as a man can.
It's about a man who.
Optimizes himself, he biohackshis way to the best physique he
can possibly have, and to thebest ultimate athletic
performance that he couldpossibly achieve because
somewhere down the line, someonetold him that that's what it
(07:46):
looks like to be a man, to be athis peak self and to show
everyone else around him howmuch better he is than they are.
This is a version of masculinitythat is essentially just about
building this alpha male, aboutbuilding the man who exists.
At the top of whatever pyramidhe thinks he's supposed to be at
the top of, and letting everyoneelse know that they are at the
(08:08):
bottom now.
I don't think this version ofmasculinity is any better than
the what The people on the otherside of the conversation are
trying to suggest that menshould be.
It's a complete pendulum swingin the other direction.
It's not helpful and in a lot ofways it is exactly the toxic
kind of man that the other sideof the conversation is accusing
us of.
(08:28):
It's the kind of man who onlyseeks gain for himself.
Sees himself at the center ofthe world and of the universe
and wants everything to come hisdirection and work in his favor,
and that everyone else should,if not completely bow before
him, at least get out of his wayso that he can accomplish what
he wants to accomplish for hislife.
It's a total 180 from.
(08:50):
Other versions of masculinityfrom our past that have seen
manhood really be aboutsacrificing for others around
us, about seeing men give ofthemselves so that the world
around us as men can actuallybecome better.
This version of men isn'tinterested in others at all.
It's completely interested inhimself and making the best
(09:11):
version of himself that hepossibly can be, even to the
exclusion and to the detrimentof others.
Now, whatever side of thatequation you might be drawn to
or interested in, I'll justsimply say on this channel,
neither of those versions ofmasculinity is helpful.
Neither of them are things thatwe need to head towards, and I'm
(09:32):
not gonna promote either versionof those types of masculinity.
But just because neither ofthose things is right doesn't
mean that every version ofmasculinity is wrong.
Both of those versions ofmasculinity are what I would
call extremes.
They are things that are pushedto the far sides of the
conversation, and it's likethere's nothing that's left in
(09:52):
the middle that's worth talkingabout.
I don't think that's helpful.
I don't think most men thinkthat's realistic, and I don't
think most men live at either ofthose extremes.
Most of us are just trying toget along.
We're trying to figure out howto exist in a world that wants
to push us to extremes when wejust don't see a need for that.
And in the meantime, we'refeeling bombarded by these
(10:14):
messages coming from theextremes and wondering why it's
so hard to live somewhere in themiddle and just move forward
with life.
But because of that, it hascreated this kind of internal
war for most of us as men.
It's left us feeling like, am Ienough?
Am I too much?
Am I doing this right?
Am I just completely failing?
(10:35):
We as men are second guessingourselves.
All the time because we're justnot sure.
There's nobody standing up andsaying, this is what it does
look like to be a man who isgood and healthy, and here's how
to move forward through life.
As that kind of man, all of theloud voices about masculinity
are coming from the extremes,which most men.
Aren't drawn to, but we don'thave some kind of other model to
(10:58):
move towards.
And so we're left just feelingconfused.
How do we actually do this?
How do we navigate through lifein a way that actually feels
good and feels effective as men,but we feel guilty?
At times for kind of wanting tobe men, because to want to be a
man according to one side of theextreme is a bad thing.
(11:19):
Uh, it's, it's something that istoxic or detrimental to society,
but to want to be a man on theother side of the equation is
seen as somehow weak becausewe're not just shoving our way
into manhood.
We're left wanting and confused,and somehow that means that
we're less of a man than weshould be.
Neither of those things ishelpful.
But it does leave us all withfeelings of guilt, of feelings,
(11:40):
of insecurity, of feelings of,gosh, I just don't know.
Am I getting this right?
I'm not sure how I would know ifI was getting it right.
And so we need to try to figureout a way through all of this
mess, a way through all of thenonsense towards something that
is actually helpful.
So what I want us to do is towhat I talked about at the
(12:02):
beginning, one of my purposeswith this channel is to try to
provide you with a clear visionof what it means to be a man.
I've talked about that in someof my previous videos.
As I've discussed the five marksof manhood, those are the things
that I believe all men shouldpossess in order to demonstrate
to the world what it means to bea man.
They are things that have beentrue of men across time, periods
(12:26):
and cultures.
Wherever you have found men,those five marks of manhood are
what I would call strength.
Courage, skill, honor andallegiance.
Again, those are things that allmen can exhibit, and they are
things that men can grow in.
Wherever you're starting from,in any one of those five things,
(12:46):
you can get better at themsimply through challenging
yourself.
Those areas.
So we don't need to abandonmasculinity just because we're
confused about it or because wefeel guilty about whatever
version of masculinity we'retrying to practice.
We don't need to abandon tryingto be men.
We just need a path towardsbeing a man that's worth being.
(13:07):
And that's what I think the fivemarks of manhood actually do for
us.
They give us a vision of what itmeans to be a man.
That's not only attainable forevery man.
But it's something that we canget better at.
We can actually grow in all ofthose areas and demonstrate to
the world how to be better atbeing men.
So we need to embrace some ofthose traditional things like
(13:29):
strength, like courage, and likehonor.
But we need to figure out theways of practicing those things
that actually do encompass someof what the modern world is.
Asking from us things likegentleness and empathy and
vulnerability and wisdom.
All of those things go intopainting a better vision of
masculinity.
Even our, even if they aren'tnecessarily at the core of what
(13:52):
it means to be a man, they arethings that we can learn to
incorporate into our version ofmanhood.
So we do need this kind of newvision, this new code.
We need something that is gonnahelp us be able to stay
grounded.
We need something that is gonnahelp us be able to push forward.
We need something that's gonnachallenge us.
(14:12):
These things are hard to attainin and of themselves.
They are.
Things that we will work at forthe rest of our lives.
Being strong as a man isn'tsomething that you just
accomplish once and you neverhave to worry about again.
Any man who's ever been to thegym knows that if you go and you
get strong, but then you stopgoing, you lose your strength
over time.
As men, we need to continue todevelop these things in our
(14:34):
lives.
We need to work at being strong,at being courageous, at being
skilled.
We need to develop what it meansto have honor and to show
allegiance to authorities in ourlives.
These are things that all mencan do and should do, and need
other men around us to help usget better at those things.
And that's one of the thingsthat I think is most important
(14:55):
about a vision of manhood thatis good for us in the modern
era, is that it has to requireus to be around other men who
are living that same way.
We need other men who are a partof a community who are calling
us up into these five marks ofmanhood.
We need other men who aresaying, yeah, I want to live
that way, and I want to getbetter at being a man, and I
(15:16):
want to demonstrate to other menhow to be able to do that.
We need to call men into thiskind of community, and the five
marks of manhood provides uswith a vision of how to be able
to do that.
So I want to leave you with asense of, it's okay that you
might feel under attack.
It's okay that it might feellike the world is stacked
(15:37):
against you right now, becausefrankly, our culture kind of is,
it's throwing all kinds ofmessages at us that really
aren't helpful.
I.
But that doesn't mean that youneed to buy into any of those
messages.
It just simply means that youneed a vision of something that
threads the needle through thosecompeting versions of
masculinity and helps you see away forward to something that is
(15:59):
good, healthy, attainable, andstrong.
The five marks of manhood can dothat for you, and you need to
begin practicing them not onlyfor yourself, but with other men
as well.
You don't have to fight againstthe culture.
I.
But you do need to be a man whofights for something, and this
vision of manhood is worthfighting for.
(16:22):
All right.
If you like this kind ofcontent, I would love for you to
like this video and to subscribeto this channel.
We will continue to talk moreabout it.
If you would like to figure outhow you can get better at those
five marks of manhood, I've gota free quiz for you that will
help you evaluate where are youin each of those areas.
It's called How Manly are you?
And you can download it for freeand help evaluate where you are
(16:45):
in the five marks of manhood.
Just go to manhoodtribes.com/manly and you can
download your free quiz rightthere.
Now to leave you, I want toencourage you to comment on this
video below and just say, whatis an aspect of manhood that you
know you would like to getbetter at?
Maybe it's one of those fivemarks of manhood.
Maybe it's something else thatyou heard me mention in this
(17:05):
video, but what is somethingabout manhood that you would
like to get better at?
That comment that down below,and I look forward to engaging
with your comments, and I lookforward to talking to you again
soon.
Everywhere we turn these days,men, it can feel like we are
being told what not to be.
Every part of our culture seemsto have some idea of how we as
men are doing it wrong and whatwe ought to be doing to be
getting it right.
So.
In the cultural and politicalspheres, we're getting it from
(00:21):
the right and the left aboutwhat it means to be a man and
how should we be doing itdifferently and in the family.
Sphere.
We're being told that being aman means we should be doing
these things or not be doingthese things In the work arena,
we're being told how much weshould make and how many hours
we should work, and whether ornot we should work from home or
(00:43):
work in an office.
We're being told how fit weshould be, how we should perform
in the bedroom, what our hormonelevels should be.
There's all kinds of stuff beingthrown at us as men to tell us
what we should and should notbe.
Most of us, I think are justfeeling a little bit under
attack.
Like there's no clear way to beable to figure out a way through
(01:06):
all of this nonsense.
And that's what a lot of it justfeels like is nonsense.
I think a lot of us guys, ifwe're honest, would just kind of
like to get on with our livesand leave all of these debates
behind us.
But the truth of the matter is.
We don't really know how to dothat in spite of all the vitriol
and in spite of all the attackand the aggression that's going
(01:27):
on from one side to the next formen, I think it really kind of
feels like I don't wanna have todeal with all that, but I don't
know what the path forwardactually is.
Maybe I don't want to beinvolved in all of the combat
and the aggression that's goingon and the debate around
masculinity.
But when it comes to just havingto show up as a man.
(01:48):
What does that actually looklike?
How do I do it in a way that I'mdoing it well?
Here at the Manhood TribesChannel, my name is Don, and I'm
trying to help us be able tonavigate those things.
My job at this channel is to tryto give you a clear vision of
what it means to be a man, aclear challenge to build strong
male friendships, and a clearpath on how to do both of those
(02:11):
things.
So today I want to really talkto us about what it feels like
as men who are under attack whenmasculinity as a concept is kind
of under attack in our world, weas men can sort of feel like
that we are under attack.
It starts to feel reallypersonal because it's not just
about the concept ofmasculinity, it's about how men
(02:33):
show up in the world and when itbleeds down from just that level
of ideas.
To actually how we function on aday-to-day basis.
It does start to get personal.
How should we be acting?
How should we be thinking?
How should we be relating toothers?
All of those things are a partof our day-to-day world.
And when masculinity comes underattack, it's not that long
(02:56):
before all of those things comeunder attack as well.
And we as men start to feel thepressure of.
Should we be acting that way?
Should we be handling ourselvesdifferently?
Is the way that I'm functioningas a man, not okay anymore?
That's what it feels like to beunder attack.
I.
And so today I want to try tojust acknowledge what the attack
(03:17):
is, where it's coming from, whatwe as men are dealing with, and
maybe even just a little bit ofhow do we find a way forward?
How do we get through all of thenonsense and all of the
aggression and figure out whatdoes it look like to actually
just show up as a man whodoesn't have to deal with all of
that aggressive.
Vitriolic dialogue from one sideto the next that maybe none of
(03:41):
us really want to be a part ofin the first place, but we're
living in a culture that justcan't help itself.
So let's talk about the debate.
Let's talk about the war.
Let's talk about the fact thatmasculinity is under attack and
from all sides.
On one side of the culturaldebate, you've got this issue of
masculinity is something that istoxic.
(04:02):
Now, to be honest, there's notactually a whole lot of people
who are saying this.
It's kind of become a buzzwordand it gets thrown around a
whole lot these days.
But there is an element to ourculture that considers.
Everything about traditionalmanhood to be bad.
It's not just something thatmaybe needs to be tweaked a
little bit.
It's actually something thatneeds to be completely thrown
(04:24):
out the window and, and maybe weshould throw men out the window
with it.
Like maybe we don't need men asa part of our society at all.
We're.
Perfectly okay to just havewomen ruling things or honestly,
wouldn't it be better if wedidn't really have ideas of
women and men in general, and wejust had people, or we just had
humans.
(04:44):
This is kind of the idea thatthis one side of our culture
really wants to buy into is thatthese traditional ideas of
masculinity are actuallycounterproductive to society as
a whole.
They're toxic, and so we shouldjust cast them aside and men
should think less about beingmen and more about simply being
humans.
That means that we should let goof some of the things from past
(05:08):
versions of masculinity, likephysical strength or physical
aggression, or standing forthings like.
Honor and courage and we, wecertainly should no longer look
towards combat or standing upfor things with force as a way
to be able to handle the worldaround us.
Those are relics from a pastsociety and those things are
(05:30):
considered toxic.
Certainly any kind of sense ofprivilege or leadership that
once belonged to manhood is notsomething that men should aspire
to.
Instead, that should just besomething that is generally
available to all humans, and weas humans should pursue it no
differently than any otherhumans do.
(05:50):
It's not something that menshould pursue or think of being
done better because they aremen.
These things are unhealthy formen and unhealthy for society,
and we should let those thingsgo.
Now, all of that is, well, it'sa theory, but I don't find it to
be a particularly helpfultheory, and I don't think most
men, and frankly, I don't thinkmost women do either.
(06:14):
It's just.
One idea about how to be able tohandle some of the difficulties
that have been true in oursociety.
Look, let's be honest, men indifferent stages and at
different places in our culturalhistory have abused their power.
I.
Men have taken advantage ofwomen.
Men have taken advantage of theworkplace.
Men have taken advantage ofother cultures.
(06:37):
Men have done all kinds ofthings that aren't necessarily
good, but just because men havedone some things wrong doesn't
mean that we need to throw outthe entire idea of masculinity.
But this is what some peoplewould want us to do.
And because of that, some menhave reacted very strongly and
have presented a version ofmasculinity on the other side of
(07:00):
this conversation that's gettingincreasingly difficult for the
culture to tolerate.
It's a version of masculinitythat's entirely focused on power
and subjugating others.
It's about winning the daythrough force.
It's about treating.
Other people, and especiallywomen as objects, it's about
accumulating as much materialwealth and possession as a man
(07:23):
can for himself.
It's about experiencing as muchpleasure and as much personal
satisfaction as a man can.
It's about a man who.
Optimizes himself, he biohackshis way to the best physique he
can possibly have, and to thebest ultimate athletic
performance that he couldpossibly achieve because
somewhere down the line, someonetold him that that's what it
(07:46):
looks like to be a man, to be athis peak self and to show
everyone else around him howmuch better he is than they are.
This is a version of masculinitythat is essentially just about
building this alpha male, aboutbuilding the man who exists.
At the top of whatever pyramidhe thinks he's supposed to be at
the top of, and letting everyoneelse know that they are at the
(08:08):
bottom now.
I don't think this version ofmasculinity is any better than
the what The people on the otherside of the conversation are
trying to suggest that menshould be.
It's a complete pendulum swingin the other direction.
It's not helpful and in a lot ofways it is exactly the toxic
kind of man that the other sideof the conversation is accusing
us of.
(08:28):
It's the kind of man who onlyseeks gain for himself.
Sees himself at the center ofthe world and of the universe
and wants everything to come hisdirection and work in his favor,
and that everyone else should,if not completely bow before
him, at least get out of his wayso that he can accomplish what
he wants to accomplish for hislife.
It's a total 180 from.
(08:50):
Other versions of masculinityfrom our past that have seen
manhood really be aboutsacrificing for others around
us, about seeing men give ofthemselves so that the world
around us as men can actuallybecome better.
This version of men isn'tinterested in others at all.
It's completely interested inhimself and making the best
(09:11):
version of himself that hepossibly can be, even to the
exclusion and to the detrimentof others.
Now, whatever side of thatequation you might be drawn to
or interested in, I'll justsimply say on this channel,
neither of those versions ofmasculinity is helpful.
Neither of them are things thatwe need to head towards, and I'm
(09:32):
not gonna promote either versionof those types of masculinity.
But just because neither ofthose things is right doesn't
mean that every version ofmasculinity is wrong.
Both of those versions ofmasculinity are what I would
call extremes.
They are things that are pushedto the far sides of the
conversation, and it's likethere's nothing that's left in
(09:52):
the middle that's worth talkingabout.
I don't think that's helpful.
I don't think most men thinkthat's realistic, and I don't
think most men live at either ofthose extremes.
Most of us are just trying toget along.
We're trying to figure out howto exist in a world that wants
to push us to extremes when wejust don't see a need for that.
And in the meantime, we'refeeling bombarded by these
(10:14):
messages coming from theextremes and wondering why it's
so hard to live somewhere in themiddle and just move forward
with life.
But because of that, it hascreated this kind of internal
war for most of us as men.
It's left us feeling like, am Ienough?
Am I too much?
Am I doing this right?
Am I just completely failing?
(10:35):
We as men are second guessingourselves.
All the time because we're justnot sure.
There's nobody standing up andsaying, this is what it does
look like to be a man who isgood and healthy, and here's how
to move forward through life.
As that kind of man, all of theloud voices about masculinity
are coming from the extremes,which most men.
Aren't drawn to, but we don'thave some kind of other model to
(10:58):
move towards.
And so we're left just feelingconfused.
How do we actually do this?
How do we navigate through lifein a way that actually feels
good and feels effective as men,but we feel guilty?
At times for kind of wanting tobe men, because to want to be a
man according to one side of theextreme is a bad thing.
(11:19):
Uh, it's, it's something that istoxic or detrimental to society,
but to want to be a man on theother side of the equation is
seen as somehow weak becausewe're not just shoving our way
into manhood.
We're left wanting and confused,and somehow that means that
we're less of a man than weshould be.
Neither of those things ishelpful.
But it does leave us all withfeelings of guilt, of feelings,
(11:40):
of insecurity, of feelings of,gosh, I just don't know.
Am I getting this right?
I'm not sure how I would know ifI was getting it right.
And so we need to try to figureout a way through all of this
mess, a way through all of thenonsense towards something that
is actually helpful.
So what I want us to do is towhat I talked about at the
(12:02):
beginning, one of my purposeswith this channel is to try to
provide you with a clear visionof what it means to be a man.
I've talked about that in someof my previous videos.
As I've discussed the five marksof manhood, those are the things
that I believe all men shouldpossess in order to demonstrate
to the world what it means to bea man.
They are things that have beentrue of men across time, periods
(12:26):
and cultures.
Wherever you have found men,those five marks of manhood are
what I would call strength.
Courage, skill, honor andallegiance.
Again, those are things that allmen can exhibit, and they are
things that men can grow in.
Wherever you're starting from,in any one of those five things,
(12:46):
you can get better at themsimply through challenging
yourself.
Those areas.
So we don't need to abandonmasculinity just because we're
confused about it or because wefeel guilty about whatever
version of masculinity we'retrying to practice.
We don't need to abandon tryingto be men.
We just need a path towardsbeing a man that's worth being.
(13:07):
And that's what I think the fivemarks of manhood actually do for
us.
They give us a vision of what itmeans to be a man.
That's not only attainable forevery man.
But it's something that we canget better at.
We can actually grow in all ofthose areas and demonstrate to
the world how to be better atbeing men.
So we need to embrace some ofthose traditional things like
(13:29):
strength, like courage, and likehonor.
But we need to figure out theways of practicing those things
that actually do encompass someof what the modern world is.
Asking from us things likegentleness and empathy and
vulnerability and wisdom.
All of those things go intopainting a better vision of
masculinity.
Even our, even if they aren'tnecessarily at the core of what
(13:52):
it means to be a man, they arethings that we can learn to
incorporate into our version ofmanhood.
So we do need this kind of newvision, this new code.
We need something that is gonnahelp us be able to stay
grounded.
We need something that is gonnahelp us be able to push forward.
We need something that's gonnachallenge us.
(14:12):
These things are hard to attainin and of themselves.
They are.
Things that we will work at forthe rest of our lives.
Being strong as a man isn'tsomething that you just
accomplish once and you neverhave to worry about again.
Any man who's ever been to thegym knows that if you go and you
get strong, but then you stopgoing, you lose your strength
over time.
As men, we need to continue todevelop these things in our
(14:34):
lives.
We need to work at being strong,at being courageous, at being
skilled.
We need to develop what it meansto have honor and to show
allegiance to authorities in ourlives.
These are things that all mencan do and should do, and need
other men around us to help usget better at those things.
And that's one of the thingsthat I think is most important
(14:55):
about a vision of manhood thatis good for us in the modern
era, is that it has to requireus to be around other men who
are living that same way.
We need other men who are a partof a community who are calling
us up into these five marks ofmanhood.
We need other men who aresaying, yeah, I want to live
that way, and I want to getbetter at being a man, and I
(15:16):
want to demonstrate to other menhow to be able to do that.
We need to call men into thiskind of community, and the five
marks of manhood provides uswith a vision of how to be able
to do that.
So I want to leave you with asense of, it's okay that you
might feel under attack.
It's okay that it might feellike the world is stacked
(15:37):
against you right now, becausefrankly, our culture kind of is,
it's throwing all kinds ofmessages at us that really
aren't helpful.
I.
But that doesn't mean that youneed to buy into any of those
messages.
It just simply means that youneed a vision of something that
threads the needle through thosecompeting versions of
masculinity and helps you see away forward to something that is
(15:59):
good, healthy, attainable, andstrong.
The five marks of manhood can dothat for you, and you need to
begin practicing them not onlyfor yourself, but with other men
as well.
You don't have to fight againstthe culture.
I.
But you do need to be a man whofights for something, and this
vision of manhood is worthfighting for.
(16:22):
All right.
If you like this kind ofcontent, I would love for you to
like this video and to subscribeto this channel.
We will continue to talk moreabout it.
If you would like to figure outhow you can get better at those
five marks of manhood, I've gota free quiz for you that will
help you evaluate where are youin each of those areas.
It's called How Manly are you?
And you can download it for freeand help evaluate where you are
(16:45):
in the five marks of manhood.
Just go to manhoodtribes.com/manly and you can
download your free quiz rightthere.
Now to leave you, I want toencourage you to comment on this
video below and just say, whatis an aspect of manhood that you
know you would like to getbetter at?
Maybe it's one of those fivemarks of manhood.
Maybe it's something else thatyou heard me mention in this
(17:05):
video, but what is somethingabout manhood that you would
like to get better at?
That comment that down below,and I look forward to engaging
with your comments, and I lookforward to talking to you again
soon.
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