December 17, 2024 • 24 mins
In this episode of the Manhood Tribes show, we dive deep into what it means to be a good Christian.
Host Don explores the criteria for living a meaningful Christian life that aligns with masculine values—epic, purposeful, and resilient.
We discuss the importance of forming strong, loving relationships with other followers of Jesus, treating them like family, and how forgiveness, repentance, and seeing others through the lens of Jesus' sacrifice can transform our spiritual maturity.
Join us in this series as we seek to redefine masculine faith and invite others into a family that embodies true Christian values.
00:00 Introduction: What Defines a Good Christian?
00:52 Manhood Quiz: How Manly Are You?
01:27 Series Overview: The Way of the King
02:14 Challenges of Modern Faith for Men
03:17 Three Pillars of Masculine Faith
05:13 Measuring Spiritual Maturity
07:40 Treating Fellow Christians as Family
12:05 Sacrificial Love in Action
19:28 Forgiveness and Repentance
22:20 Conclusion: Living as a Family in Faith
💪 Want to know how you measure up as a man? Take our free quiz, called How Manly Are You? and learn how you can get better at being a man. Download for free at manhoodtribes.com/manly. 💪
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Don Ross (00:00):
How would, you know, if someone is a good Christian.
We hear that phrase kind ofthrown around a lot in the sense
that like, everybody just knowswhat a good Christian looks
like, but what's the criteriathat you would use to actually
determine if someone is livingthe kind of life that you could
call the good Christian life.
(00:21):
I think there's probably quite afew ways that we try to define
that.
And I think most of the waysthat we use these days.
Or actually not the right waysat all.
Let's talk about how we shoulddo that today on the manhood
tribe show.
(00:53):
Guys want to know how youmeasure up as a man?
I've got a great resource foryou.
It's called how manly are you?
And it's a free quiz that youcan take to figure out how you
stack up against what it meansto be a man.
And when you take the quiz,you'll also get some free
resources to help you figure outhow you can get better as a man
in the areas where you wouldlike to grow.
(01:14):
So go to manhoodtribes.com/manlyto download your free.
How manly are you quiz today?
That's manhoodtribes.com/manly.
Okay, men.
Welcome to the manhood tribesshow.
I'm your host, Don.
It's good to be with you as weare continuing the series.
(01:34):
And guys, I gotta be honest.
I really am loving this series.
I know that many of you haveasked for more content that will
help you be able to figure outwhat it means to be a man of
faith, a Christian man, and howto do those things well.
And so I'm really enjoying beingable to offer this to you and.
I hope it's a help, if it is ahelp, or if there's questions
(01:55):
that I'm not addressing, thatyou would like me to, that could
be helpful.
Feel free to shoot me anemail@infoatmanhoodtribes.com.
And I would love to know what Icould address that would be of
more help to you.
But here in this series, which Iam calling the way of the king,
I'm trying to talk about what itlooks like to develop a
masculine faith.
Because I think that for most ofus, men who have been around the
(02:17):
American church in any way,shape or form over the past, you
know, 20 to 50 years haveprobably come in contact with a
faith that just doesn't feelvery relevant to us.
We go to church and it feelslike they're not really talking
to us in a way that matters toour day-to-day lives.
It kind of just feels like anobligation that we're supposed
to do.
Or maybe even you don't want togo to church because you don't
(02:39):
like the people there, you don'tlike the things that they stand
for.
You've seen Christians out inpublic and kind of been offended
or just disturbed by them.
And so you've just kind of liketurned off to this whole idea of
faith because you think.
That's just not who I am and ifthat's what it means to be a
follower of Jesus, I'm not surethat I'm interested in any of
that either because it bores meto tears or because I find it
(03:01):
mildly or maybe significantlyoffensive.
All of those are valid reasonsfor men these days.
I think, to kind of reject whatthey see in terms of what it
means to be a Christian.
We are trying to kind ofre-establish that, especially
for men and say there's a betterway.
I've said that there's inparticular three things that I
think help establish what amasculine faith looks like the
(03:23):
first is that it needs to beepic.
It.
It needs to be part of a bigstory and a grand adventure.
Men love these kinds of stories.
And if our faith is going toentice us, we need to know that
it's bigger than just our ownindividual lives.
Second.
It needs to be purposeful.
We as men need to have a part toplay in the story of our faith
(03:44):
and it needs to feel like amanly part.
It needs to be something wherewe can offer strength and
courage and skill and feel likewe are needed as men.
Not just simply as nice guys whodo the right thing, but as men
who's to have something powerfuland significant to contribute.
And then thirdly, our faithneeds to feel like it is
resilient.
(04:05):
If it's going to be a masculinefaith, it needs to stand up to
the hard things in life.
It needs to not just fall downat the simple questions in the
simple objections, and it needsto not be conquered by the
latest suffering that we'reencountering in our day-to-day
lives.
It needs to have answers for allof those things and hold up
under the weight of the hardrealities of our lives.
(04:26):
And if it can do all of that, ifit can be epic and purposeful
and resilient, then I think asmen we can feel like, yeah, this
is something that I want to be apart of.
And as a man, this feels prettymanly to be doing this.
So that's what we're after.
That's the kind of faith thatwe're trying to pursue.
And it's my point that I thinkthe Christian faith.
Actually is that we just needhow we need to learn how to
(04:49):
recover it.
So that it actually does feelthat way in our lives where we
live it out.
It's my point that the Christianfaith actually is all of that.
It's just that we haven't beenliving it that way for a long
time.
And so we need to try to recoversome of those aspects that can
help us as men recognize thatour faith is actually masculine.
(05:12):
Now.
I spent the last episode, kindof talking about the idea of
what is being a Christian meantto do to a person.
And I kind of said that thewhole point is not just about
going to heaven when you die,but that it's really about being
in union with God.
That we, as mankind are becomingone with God through Jesus.
And in doing that, we are meantto become ever more like him and
(05:35):
I, I gave you a whole host ofdifferent practices and things
that you can do as a way to beable to connect your heart to
the heart of God.
And hopes of becoming more likeJesus.
But the question that I want toask today is how do you know if
it's working?
Right.
I kind of pose the question atthe top of the episode to say,
What does it mean to be a goodChristian?
(05:56):
I think if we say that a goodChristian as someone who is
becoming more and more likeJesus, Then we have to ask,
like, how do we know if that'strue?
Like, how do we know if thethings that we're doing are
actually helping us become morelike Jesus.
If we look at the scriptures, wewill pretty often see that there
is no better indicator of ourspiritual maturity in Christ.
(06:19):
Then how we relate to others.
Okay, let me say that again,because that's a really big,
important statement.
There is no better indicator ofour spiritual maturity than how
we relate to others.
Throughout all of thescriptures, but especially in
the new Testament and the waythat Jesus teaches us, what it
means to be a follower of his,it is about loving God and
(06:42):
loving others.
He says that others will know usby our love for one another.
And in other words, they willknow that we are Jesus followers
because of how we treat eachother.
This is super important.
Jesus is attaching our spiritualmaturity.
Right.
Our measurement of how much weare becoming like him.
(07:04):
To the way that we treat otherpeople to our love for one
another.
So, if we want to know if allthe practices that we're doing
are helping us become more likeChrist, the way that we can
figure that out is by lookingat.
How are we doing in ourrelationships with other people
and in particular and ourrelationships with other Jesus
followers, the scriptures arepretty clear in the new
(07:26):
Testament, especially that thereare ways that we are meant to
treat people who are alsofollowers of Jesus and ways that
we are meant to treat people whoare not, and there are some
differences there there's a lotof overlap, but there are some
specific differences there.
And so in this episode, I wantto speak specifically to how we
treat other people who.
(07:46):
Who are also followers of Jesus.
So, how do we treat thosepeople?
In a word like family.
There is no bigger metaphor usedin the Bible to talk about the
people of God who followedJesus.
Then the idea of a family.
(08:07):
I love the story in the gospelswhere Jesus, his biological
family, his mother, and hisbrothers.
Come to a house where he is atand somebody comes and lets
Jesus know, Hey, you're your momand your siblings are here to
see you.
And he looks at the crowd and hesays, here is my mother.
Here are my brothers.
In other words, to be able tosay those who are following him
(08:31):
are now his family.
Now.
Uh, in that Jewish world inparticular, that was maybe quite
a bit offensive to his mom andto his siblings, to be able to
say that he had a new family,right.
That.
Th these people who arefollowing him were now more
family to him than his actualbiological relatives were.
But this is the vision of whatit means to be part of what
(08:53):
Jesus calls the church.
The church is a word and thescriptures that just means
called out once.
You'll remember from our episodewhere I talked about the story,
that when, uh, God abandoned thenations of the world to rogue
spiritual powers, he thendecided that he was going to
(09:14):
make his own nation.
And he did that by calling outone man.
A man named Abraham, who welater call Abraham.
Too big to begin this new nationthat belonged to Yahweh.
Ya'll way was going to have hisown people that he had called
out from the nations.
And it was from Abraham that hewas making this new nation.
(09:37):
And now with the story of Jesus,we see that through Jesus.
He is doing the same thing.
But he is calling out peoplefrom all nations, not just from
this one nation Israel, that wasYahweh's nation.
But now he is calling out peoplefrom all the nations to be able
to say, come and be part of mykingdom.
(09:58):
And for those of us who do wefind out that we're not just
subjects in his kingdom, butthat we have actually been
adopted into his family.
We find out that we are nowsons.
Of God, we have a new identity.
And it is not just as a loyalsubject.
But it is actually as a son.
(10:19):
We have been grafted into thevery family of God.
And because I have been graftedas a son.
And you have been grafted as ason.
That means that we are brothers.
We are now brothers in Christ inthe family of God.
And we are to treat one anotheras if our closest and most
(10:41):
important relationships are thatfamily.
Now.
This has big implications.
And so I want to talk aboutthat.
What does it look like to beable to treat other followers of
Christ as if we are family andmaybe even to the point that we
see them more as family thaneven our own biological
(11:01):
relatives.
There's lots of ways to be ableto talk about that.
And I don't have time to covereverything that the scriptures
say about what it means to treatother followers of God, his
family.
So I want to just kind of narrowit down to about three things
today, and we're going to lookat those real briefly.
But the overarching idea of allof these things that we're going
(11:22):
to talk about is really whatJesus says over and over and
over again.
Love one another.
As I have as I have loved you.
So you should love one another.
And we are to do it in the waythat he modeled love.
In the book of Philippians, weget this idea that we are to
have the same mindset as Jesuswho considered himself nothing
(11:46):
and emptied of himself,everything so that he could
sacrifice himself in death, evendeath on a cross for our sakes.
We are meant to look to others'needs as more important than our
own.
That is the kind of sacrificiallove that Jesus is calling us
to.
So let's look at three specificways that we are meant to live
(12:09):
out that kind of sacrificiallove with other followers of
Jesus.
The first is that we want to seeother Jesus followers according
to their identity in Christ andnot according to their identity
in the world.
When someone is in Christ, theyare a new creation.
They have been given a newidentity in him.
(12:32):
And what that means for us isjust, like I said, we are now
brothers and sisters in Christ.
We are meant to see themaccording to that identity.
We are meant to see them asJesus sees them.
So when we look at anotherperson, we don't see him or her
just as what race or whatgender, or what ethnicity, or
what sexual orientation or whatsocioeconomic status or what,
(12:56):
you know, any other label thatyou want to come up with.
We're not meant to see thosethings first.
We are meant to first, see, thisis a child of God.
This is someone who is made asGod's image.
This is my brother.
And what that means.
Even more specifically can getreally, really difficult because
(13:18):
it could mean that like, Foryou, who is someone who is
following Jesus?
Let's say you're a white male inyour forties who leans towards
being a Republican.
Well, if that's true of you,then you actually have more in
common with your black femalecoworker.
(13:41):
Who's a single mom and aDemocrat, but who is also a
follower of Jesus.
You have more in common with herand are meant to relate more
closely to her than you do withyour other male white colleagues
who are also Republicans andseem to share all the same
values and interests that youshare.
From a worldly standpoint, itcan be really easy to relate to
(14:05):
those other people around you,who you feel like you have the
most in common with.
But what the scriptures arecalling us to is to be able to
say, actually, what's true.
Is I have most in common.
With other people who arefollowing Jesus, regardless of
what all kinds of other markersof who they are, are like.
Those are the people that I ammost in common with.
(14:26):
They are my family.
And I need to learn to lovethem.
To know them.
To share with them and tosacrifice for them because
that's the kind of love thatChrist has called me to.
Now, if that isn't alreadymaking you squeamish.
Then you need to go back andlisten to the last couple
minutes.
Because, let me tell you guysthat is hard.
(14:48):
That is hard to do.
And you won't see it done veryoften anywhere in the world.
And not all that often, evenamong churchgoers, among people
who do say they are Christfollowers, because honestly,
most men who are following Jesustend to take our cues from the
world.
About how we relate to othersinstead of taking our cues from
(15:11):
Jesus.
Jesus.
Didn't look to all thoseexternal markers.
When he was picking disciples,he didn't look to those external
markers when he decided who hewas going to do miracles for.
He didn't look to externalmarkers when he decided who he
was going to feed 5,000, youknow, like it had nothing to do
with that.
It's simply had to do with thefact that he loved them.
(15:33):
And he wanted to extend thatlove to anyone who is willing to
receive it.
And that's what we are to do aswell.
If Jesus has invited them intohis family, then who are we to
say?
We don't want to treat them assuch.
We have been invited into thatsame family through no merit of
our own.
And so it's out of that placethat we learned to show love and
(15:55):
kindness to those who also callthemselves followers of Jesus.
Okay.
So we want to see their identityas Jesus sees them.
That's the first thing, thesecond thing is that we want to
see their needs, according tothe provision of Jesus.
The second thing is that we wantto see their needs according to
(16:19):
Jesus's provision.
So when we're talking aboutneeds, what we should think
about is the way that we imagineneeds within our family,
especially for those of you guyswho are watching right now, who
are husbands and fathers.
You probably feel thesignificant weight of wanting to
be able to provide for yourfamily.
Of making sure that no real needgoes unmet in your family.
(16:42):
Jesus is inviting us to be ableto say it should be the same way
among us with those who callthemselves followers of Jesus.
No need.
Uh, within the family of Godshould go unmet.
We should look to be able tosacrifice for one another so
that everyone can be fed,clothed, secure, taken care of,
(17:05):
have their basic needs met, beable to use their abilities to
contribute to some good insociety.
All of these things are thingsthat we should take care of for
the body of Christ.
Anyone who calls themselves afollower of Jesus.
I should be able to have theirneeds met.
Within the family of God.
Now everyone is expected towork.
(17:26):
Everyone is expected tocontribute.
But no one should go without.
And when it comes to thinkingabout how to address the needs
of others in the family of God,you should look to sacrificing
for others the way that youwould sacrifice for your
biological family.
Now that is going to feel sobackwards and so different to
(17:48):
what most of us men feel likewe're supposed to do, especially
here in America, where we havebeen so conditioned to thinking
of our resources as our own.
And to treating our nuclearfamily as if they are the
absolute and utmost priority inour lives.
But Jesus doesn't play by theworld's games.
He plays by the rules of thekingdom of God.
(18:10):
And in the kingdom of God, noone who's a part of that family
should have their needs gounmet.
So I'm supposed to use all thathe has given me.
We frequently talk about thiswithin church circles in terms
of time, talent and treasure.
Right.
Cause it's got three tees andit's easy to repeat, but it just
means the time that I haveavailable to do for others.
(18:32):
The talents, the skills, theabilities that he has given me.
And the treasure, the resourcesfinancially that he has given to
me, I am meant to use those, tobe able to meet the needs of
others around me and inparticular, Those of the family
of God.
And I am to meet those needs asif I am meeting them out of
(18:52):
Jesus's provision, not my own.
And Jesus has provision isunlimited.
He has no lack of resources.
And so if I am doing what heasked me to do, I am willing to
be radically generous for thesake of others, because I know
he is going to do the same forme.
He is going to take care of myneeds.
(19:13):
He wants me to focus on takingcare of the needs of others and
especially the needs of those inhis family.
So that's.
So that's the second thing,seeing the needs of others
through the lens of Jesus'sprovision.
The last thing is that we wantto see their sins according to
Jesus, his sacrifice.
(19:34):
All of us have flaws andmistakes and ways that we have
messed up our lives.
And the family of God, we arenot meant to see each other,
according to those things.
We are to see each other,according to the way that Jesus
has forgiven us.
And to extend that same kind offorgiveness to one another.
(19:57):
And a very poignant moment.
One of Jesus's followers namedPeter asked Jesus how many times
he's meant to forgive someoneseven times.
Which seemed like a whole lotfor the same thing.
Right.
And most of us would probablyfeel the same way if I forgive
somebody one time and they do itagain.
Maybe I can forgive them asecond time, but if they keep
doing it a third time or more,am I even going to want to keep
(20:17):
hanging out with that person?
And Jesus says, no, not justseven times, but 70 times seven.
In other words, he was saying,you don't stop.
You just keep forgiving.
Now there's probably ways to beable to be wise in that
forgiveness.
We don't necessarily have to putall our resources at that
person's feet.
If they're doing things to abuseour trust.
(20:40):
But we can forgive them for theways that they might be miss
handling things.
We don't necessarily want toopen our heart up to someone who
is emotionally or verballyabusive.
But we can forgive them forbeing that way.
And ask God to give us thestrength to continue forgiving
them for doing that.
(21:00):
To help them become more likeJesus.
We have to offer forgiveness tothem.
And we have to see their sins.
The same way that Jesus sees oursense.
In the sense that he forgivesthem.
If we want forgiveness, heoffers it freely.
And we are meant to offer itfreely as well to others.
(21:21):
Along with forgiveness.
We have a couple of other toolsin our tool belt that help us to
be able to relate to oneanother.
Especially with regards to oursins.
With forgiveness.
We also have repentance, whichis where we turn away from our
own sins and turn back towardsJesus to follow a different
path.
And with confession, we bringour sins out into the light and
(21:44):
ask for forgiveness and repentfrom what we've done.
If we can focus on those threetools, forgiveness, repentance,
and confession, we can helpbring restoration and healing to
all of our relationships becausewe're choosing to see each other
the way that Jesus sees us.
And we're choosing to see oursins, the way that he sees them,
(22:05):
not the way that the world tendsto see them, which is where we
hold our sins against one.
One another.
Jesus says, forgive, repent,confess.
These are the ways to love oneanother to bring healing and
restoration into relationships.
If we can live like that.
We will create a family thateveryone would want to be a part
(22:26):
of, but that's hard work.
And it's radically differentthan the way that most of us
learn to relate to people justbased on what we see from the
world around us.
But that's the point.
We don't take our cues from theworld.
We take our cues from Jesus andhe invites us to live in a
family.
And to treat his followers as ifthey are our own family.
(22:51):
So that's what I want tochallenge you with today.
I want you to, as a follower ofJesus to think about who are a
few followers of Jesus aroundyou, that you could treat more
like family.
What are some ways that you cando that?
Maybe there's some specificthings that you need to
sacrifice for someone else tohelp meet needs.
Maybe there was some specificsins that you need to forgive.
(23:14):
Or invite someone to repent of.
Maybe you need to be the oneasking for forgiveness.
Maybe there are just some wayswhere you need to adjust your
perspective about someone who,you know, who is a follower of
Jesus, but who doesn't feel verylike you.
And so you don't feel veryloving towards them.
You need to learn how to seethem, the way that Jesus sees
(23:36):
them.
Try to identify three or fourother followers of Jesus that
you could treat them more likethey are your family.
Okay.
I hope this helps you get abetter picture of what it looks
like to be the kind of man whocan step up to a high calling, a
pretty big challenge that Jesusis inviting us into.
(23:57):
But that if we will do that, wecan literally change the world
because everyone would long tobe part of a family.
That looks like that.
Let's create it and invite theminto it.
I hope this helps you men.
I look forward to talking to yousome more about this as we
continue this series, the way ofthe king.
(24:17):
Next time here on the manhoodtribe show.
I'll see you then.
How would, you know, if someone is a good Christian.
We hear that phrase kind ofthrown around a lot in the sense
that like, everybody just knowswhat a good Christian looks
like, but what's the criteriathat you would use to actually
determine if someone is livingthe kind of life that you could
call the good Christian life.
(00:21):
I think there's probably quite afew ways that we try to define
that.
And I think most of the waysthat we use these days.
Or actually not the right waysat all.
Let's talk about how we shoulddo that today on the manhood
tribe show.
(00:53):
Guys want to know how youmeasure up as a man?
I've got a great resource foryou.
It's called how manly are you?
And it's a free quiz that youcan take to figure out how you
stack up against what it meansto be a man.
And when you take the quiz,you'll also get some free
resources to help you figure outhow you can get better as a man
in the areas where you wouldlike to grow.
(01:14):
So go to manhoodtribes.com/manlyto download your free.
How manly are you quiz today?
That's manhoodtribes.com/manly.
Okay, men.
Welcome to the manhood tribesshow.
I'm your host, Don.
It's good to be with you as weare continuing the series.
(01:34):
And guys, I gotta be honest.
I really am loving this series.
I know that many of you haveasked for more content that will
help you be able to figure outwhat it means to be a man of
faith, a Christian man, and howto do those things well.
And so I'm really enjoying beingable to offer this to you and.
I hope it's a help, if it is ahelp, or if there's questions
(01:55):
that I'm not addressing, thatyou would like me to, that could
be helpful.
Feel free to shoot me anemail@infoatmanhoodtribes.com.
And I would love to know what Icould address that would be of
more help to you.
But here in this series, which Iam calling the way of the king,
I'm trying to talk about what itlooks like to develop a
masculine faith.
Because I think that for most ofus, men who have been around the
(02:17):
American church in any way,shape or form over the past, you
know, 20 to 50 years haveprobably come in contact with a
faith that just doesn't feelvery relevant to us.
We go to church and it feelslike they're not really talking
to us in a way that matters toour day-to-day lives.
It kind of just feels like anobligation that we're supposed
to do.
Or maybe even you don't want togo to church because you don't
(02:39):
like the people there, you don'tlike the things that they stand
for.
You've seen Christians out inpublic and kind of been offended
or just disturbed by them.
And so you've just kind of liketurned off to this whole idea of
faith because you think.
That's just not who I am and ifthat's what it means to be a
follower of Jesus, I'm not surethat I'm interested in any of
that either because it bores meto tears or because I find it
(03:01):
mildly or maybe significantlyoffensive.
All of those are valid reasonsfor men these days.
I think, to kind of reject whatthey see in terms of what it
means to be a Christian.
We are trying to kind ofre-establish that, especially
for men and say there's a betterway.
I've said that there's inparticular three things that I
think help establish what amasculine faith looks like the
(03:23):
first is that it needs to beepic.
It.
It needs to be part of a bigstory and a grand adventure.
Men love these kinds of stories.
And if our faith is going toentice us, we need to know that
it's bigger than just our ownindividual lives.
Second.
It needs to be purposeful.
We as men need to have a part toplay in the story of our faith
(03:44):
and it needs to feel like amanly part.
It needs to be something wherewe can offer strength and
courage and skill and feel likewe are needed as men.
Not just simply as nice guys whodo the right thing, but as men
who's to have something powerfuland significant to contribute.
And then thirdly, our faithneeds to feel like it is
resilient.
(04:05):
If it's going to be a masculinefaith, it needs to stand up to
the hard things in life.
It needs to not just fall downat the simple questions in the
simple objections, and it needsto not be conquered by the
latest suffering that we'reencountering in our day-to-day
lives.
It needs to have answers for allof those things and hold up
under the weight of the hardrealities of our lives.
(04:26):
And if it can do all of that, ifit can be epic and purposeful
and resilient, then I think asmen we can feel like, yeah, this
is something that I want to be apart of.
And as a man, this feels prettymanly to be doing this.
So that's what we're after.
That's the kind of faith thatwe're trying to pursue.
And it's my point that I thinkthe Christian faith.
Actually is that we just needhow we need to learn how to
(04:49):
recover it.
So that it actually does feelthat way in our lives where we
live it out.
It's my point that the Christianfaith actually is all of that.
It's just that we haven't beenliving it that way for a long
time.
And so we need to try to recoversome of those aspects that can
help us as men recognize thatour faith is actually masculine.
(05:12):
Now.
I spent the last episode, kindof talking about the idea of
what is being a Christian meantto do to a person.
And I kind of said that thewhole point is not just about
going to heaven when you die,but that it's really about being
in union with God.
That we, as mankind are becomingone with God through Jesus.
And in doing that, we are meantto become ever more like him and
(05:35):
I, I gave you a whole host ofdifferent practices and things
that you can do as a way to beable to connect your heart to
the heart of God.
And hopes of becoming more likeJesus.
But the question that I want toask today is how do you know if
it's working?
Right.
I kind of pose the question atthe top of the episode to say,
What does it mean to be a goodChristian?
(05:56):
I think if we say that a goodChristian as someone who is
becoming more and more likeJesus, Then we have to ask,
like, how do we know if that'strue?
Like, how do we know if thethings that we're doing are
actually helping us become morelike Jesus.
If we look at the scriptures, wewill pretty often see that there
is no better indicator of ourspiritual maturity in Christ.
(06:19):
Then how we relate to others.
Okay, let me say that again,because that's a really big,
important statement.
There is no better indicator ofour spiritual maturity than how
we relate to others.
Throughout all of thescriptures, but especially in
the new Testament and the waythat Jesus teaches us, what it
means to be a follower of his,it is about loving God and
(06:42):
loving others.
He says that others will know usby our love for one another.
And in other words, they willknow that we are Jesus followers
because of how we treat eachother.
This is super important.
Jesus is attaching our spiritualmaturity.
Right.
Our measurement of how much weare becoming like him.
(07:04):
To the way that we treat otherpeople to our love for one
another.
So, if we want to know if allthe practices that we're doing
are helping us become more likeChrist, the way that we can
figure that out is by lookingat.
How are we doing in ourrelationships with other people
and in particular and ourrelationships with other Jesus
followers, the scriptures arepretty clear in the new
(07:26):
Testament, especially that thereare ways that we are meant to
treat people who are alsofollowers of Jesus and ways that
we are meant to treat people whoare not, and there are some
differences there there's a lotof overlap, but there are some
specific differences there.
And so in this episode, I wantto speak specifically to how we
treat other people who.
(07:46):
Who are also followers of Jesus.
So, how do we treat thosepeople?
In a word like family.
There is no bigger metaphor usedin the Bible to talk about the
people of God who followedJesus.
Then the idea of a family.
(08:07):
I love the story in the gospelswhere Jesus, his biological
family, his mother, and hisbrothers.
Come to a house where he is atand somebody comes and lets
Jesus know, Hey, you're your momand your siblings are here to
see you.
And he looks at the crowd and hesays, here is my mother.
Here are my brothers.
In other words, to be able tosay those who are following him
(08:31):
are now his family.
Now.
Uh, in that Jewish world inparticular, that was maybe quite
a bit offensive to his mom andto his siblings, to be able to
say that he had a new family,right.
That.
Th these people who arefollowing him were now more
family to him than his actualbiological relatives were.
But this is the vision of whatit means to be part of what
(08:53):
Jesus calls the church.
The church is a word and thescriptures that just means
called out once.
You'll remember from our episodewhere I talked about the story,
that when, uh, God abandoned thenations of the world to rogue
spiritual powers, he thendecided that he was going to
(09:14):
make his own nation.
And he did that by calling outone man.
A man named Abraham, who welater call Abraham.
Too big to begin this new nationthat belonged to Yahweh.
Ya'll way was going to have hisown people that he had called
out from the nations.
And it was from Abraham that hewas making this new nation.
(09:37):
And now with the story of Jesus,we see that through Jesus.
He is doing the same thing.
But he is calling out peoplefrom all nations, not just from
this one nation Israel, that wasYahweh's nation.
But now he is calling out peoplefrom all the nations to be able
to say, come and be part of mykingdom.
(09:58):
And for those of us who do wefind out that we're not just
subjects in his kingdom, butthat we have actually been
adopted into his family.
We find out that we are nowsons.
Of God, we have a new identity.
And it is not just as a loyalsubject.
But it is actually as a son.
(10:19):
We have been grafted into thevery family of God.
And because I have been graftedas a son.
And you have been grafted as ason.
That means that we are brothers.
We are now brothers in Christ inthe family of God.
And we are to treat one anotheras if our closest and most
(10:41):
important relationships are thatfamily.
Now.
This has big implications.
And so I want to talk aboutthat.
What does it look like to beable to treat other followers of
Christ as if we are family andmaybe even to the point that we
see them more as family thaneven our own biological
(11:01):
relatives.
There's lots of ways to be ableto talk about that.
And I don't have time to covereverything that the scriptures
say about what it means to treatother followers of God, his
family.
So I want to just kind of narrowit down to about three things
today, and we're going to lookat those real briefly.
But the overarching idea of allof these things that we're going
(11:22):
to talk about is really whatJesus says over and over and
over again.
Love one another.
As I have as I have loved you.
So you should love one another.
And we are to do it in the waythat he modeled love.
In the book of Philippians, weget this idea that we are to
have the same mindset as Jesuswho considered himself nothing
(11:46):
and emptied of himself,everything so that he could
sacrifice himself in death, evendeath on a cross for our sakes.
We are meant to look to others'needs as more important than our
own.
That is the kind of sacrificiallove that Jesus is calling us
to.
So let's look at three specificways that we are meant to live
(12:09):
out that kind of sacrificiallove with other followers of
Jesus.
The first is that we want to seeother Jesus followers according
to their identity in Christ andnot according to their identity
in the world.
When someone is in Christ, theyare a new creation.
They have been given a newidentity in him.
(12:32):
And what that means for us isjust, like I said, we are now
brothers and sisters in Christ.
We are meant to see themaccording to that identity.
We are meant to see them asJesus sees them.
So when we look at anotherperson, we don't see him or her
just as what race or whatgender, or what ethnicity, or
what sexual orientation or whatsocioeconomic status or what,
(12:56):
you know, any other label thatyou want to come up with.
We're not meant to see thosethings first.
We are meant to first, see, thisis a child of God.
This is someone who is made asGod's image.
This is my brother.
And what that means.
Even more specifically can getreally, really difficult because
(13:18):
it could mean that like, Foryou, who is someone who is
following Jesus?
Let's say you're a white male inyour forties who leans towards
being a Republican.
Well, if that's true of you,then you actually have more in
common with your black femalecoworker.
(13:41):
Who's a single mom and aDemocrat, but who is also a
follower of Jesus.
You have more in common with herand are meant to relate more
closely to her than you do withyour other male white colleagues
who are also Republicans andseem to share all the same
values and interests that youshare.
From a worldly standpoint, itcan be really easy to relate to
(14:05):
those other people around you,who you feel like you have the
most in common with.
But what the scriptures arecalling us to is to be able to
say, actually, what's true.
Is I have most in common.
With other people who arefollowing Jesus, regardless of
what all kinds of other markersof who they are, are like.
Those are the people that I ammost in common with.
(14:26):
They are my family.
And I need to learn to lovethem.
To know them.
To share with them and tosacrifice for them because
that's the kind of love thatChrist has called me to.
Now, if that isn't alreadymaking you squeamish.
Then you need to go back andlisten to the last couple
minutes.
Because, let me tell you guysthat is hard.
(14:48):
That is hard to do.
And you won't see it done veryoften anywhere in the world.
And not all that often, evenamong churchgoers, among people
who do say they are Christfollowers, because honestly,
most men who are following Jesustend to take our cues from the
world.
About how we relate to othersinstead of taking our cues from
(15:11):
Jesus.
Jesus.
Didn't look to all thoseexternal markers.
When he was picking disciples,he didn't look to those external
markers when he decided who hewas going to do miracles for.
He didn't look to externalmarkers when he decided who he
was going to feed 5,000, youknow, like it had nothing to do
with that.
It's simply had to do with thefact that he loved them.
(15:33):
And he wanted to extend thatlove to anyone who is willing to
receive it.
And that's what we are to do aswell.
If Jesus has invited them intohis family, then who are we to
say?
We don't want to treat them assuch.
We have been invited into thatsame family through no merit of
our own.
And so it's out of that placethat we learned to show love and
(15:55):
kindness to those who also callthemselves followers of Jesus.
Okay.
So we want to see their identityas Jesus sees them.
That's the first thing, thesecond thing is that we want to
see their needs, according tothe provision of Jesus.
The second thing is that we wantto see their needs according to
(16:19):
Jesus's provision.
So when we're talking aboutneeds, what we should think
about is the way that we imagineneeds within our family,
especially for those of you guyswho are watching right now, who
are husbands and fathers.
You probably feel thesignificant weight of wanting to
be able to provide for yourfamily.
Of making sure that no real needgoes unmet in your family.
(16:42):
Jesus is inviting us to be ableto say it should be the same way
among us with those who callthemselves followers of Jesus.
No need.
Uh, within the family of Godshould go unmet.
We should look to be able tosacrifice for one another so
that everyone can be fed,clothed, secure, taken care of,
(17:05):
have their basic needs met, beable to use their abilities to
contribute to some good insociety.
All of these things are thingsthat we should take care of for
the body of Christ.
Anyone who calls themselves afollower of Jesus.
I should be able to have theirneeds met.
Within the family of God.
Now everyone is expected towork.
(17:26):
Everyone is expected tocontribute.
But no one should go without.
And when it comes to thinkingabout how to address the needs
of others in the family of God,you should look to sacrificing
for others the way that youwould sacrifice for your
biological family.
Now that is going to feel sobackwards and so different to
(17:48):
what most of us men feel likewe're supposed to do, especially
here in America, where we havebeen so conditioned to thinking
of our resources as our own.
And to treating our nuclearfamily as if they are the
absolute and utmost priority inour lives.
But Jesus doesn't play by theworld's games.
He plays by the rules of thekingdom of God.
(18:10):
And in the kingdom of God, noone who's a part of that family
should have their needs gounmet.
So I'm supposed to use all thathe has given me.
We frequently talk about thiswithin church circles in terms
of time, talent and treasure.
Right.
Cause it's got three tees andit's easy to repeat, but it just
means the time that I haveavailable to do for others.
(18:32):
The talents, the skills, theabilities that he has given me.
And the treasure, the resourcesfinancially that he has given to
me, I am meant to use those, tobe able to meet the needs of
others around me and inparticular, Those of the family
of God.
And I am to meet those needs asif I am meeting them out of
(18:52):
Jesus's provision, not my own.
And Jesus has provision isunlimited.
He has no lack of resources.
And so if I am doing what heasked me to do, I am willing to
be radically generous for thesake of others, because I know
he is going to do the same forme.
He is going to take care of myneeds.
(19:13):
He wants me to focus on takingcare of the needs of others and
especially the needs of those inhis family.
So that's.
So that's the second thing,seeing the needs of others
through the lens of Jesus'sprovision.
The last thing is that we wantto see their sins according to
Jesus, his sacrifice.
(19:34):
All of us have flaws andmistakes and ways that we have
messed up our lives.
And the family of God, we arenot meant to see each other,
according to those things.
We are to see each other,according to the way that Jesus
has forgiven us.
And to extend that same kind offorgiveness to one another.
(19:57):
And a very poignant moment.
One of Jesus's followers namedPeter asked Jesus how many times
he's meant to forgive someoneseven times.
Which seemed like a whole lotfor the same thing.
Right.
And most of us would probablyfeel the same way if I forgive
somebody one time and they do itagain.
Maybe I can forgive them asecond time, but if they keep
doing it a third time or more,am I even going to want to keep
(20:17):
hanging out with that person?
And Jesus says, no, not justseven times, but 70 times seven.
In other words, he was saying,you don't stop.
You just keep forgiving.
Now there's probably ways to beable to be wise in that
forgiveness.
We don't necessarily have to putall our resources at that
person's feet.
If they're doing things to abuseour trust.
(20:40):
But we can forgive them for theways that they might be miss
handling things.
We don't necessarily want toopen our heart up to someone who
is emotionally or verballyabusive.
But we can forgive them forbeing that way.
And ask God to give us thestrength to continue forgiving
them for doing that.
(21:00):
To help them become more likeJesus.
We have to offer forgiveness tothem.
And we have to see their sins.
The same way that Jesus sees oursense.
In the sense that he forgivesthem.
If we want forgiveness, heoffers it freely.
And we are meant to offer itfreely as well to others.
(21:21):
Along with forgiveness.
We have a couple of other toolsin our tool belt that help us to
be able to relate to oneanother.
Especially with regards to oursins.
With forgiveness.
We also have repentance, whichis where we turn away from our
own sins and turn back towardsJesus to follow a different
path.
And with confession, we bringour sins out into the light and
(21:44):
ask for forgiveness and repentfrom what we've done.
If we can focus on those threetools, forgiveness, repentance,
and confession, we can helpbring restoration and healing to
all of our relationships becausewe're choosing to see each other
the way that Jesus sees us.
And we're choosing to see oursins, the way that he sees them,
(22:05):
not the way that the world tendsto see them, which is where we
hold our sins against one.
One another.
Jesus says, forgive, repent,confess.
These are the ways to love oneanother to bring healing and
restoration into relationships.
If we can live like that.
We will create a family thateveryone would want to be a part
(22:26):
of, but that's hard work.
And it's radically differentthan the way that most of us
learn to relate to people justbased on what we see from the
world around us.
But that's the point.
We don't take our cues from theworld.
We take our cues from Jesus andhe invites us to live in a
family.
And to treat his followers as ifthey are our own family.
(22:51):
So that's what I want tochallenge you with today.
I want you to, as a follower ofJesus to think about who are a
few followers of Jesus aroundyou, that you could treat more
like family.
What are some ways that you cando that?
Maybe there's some specificthings that you need to
sacrifice for someone else tohelp meet needs.
Maybe there was some specificsins that you need to forgive.
(23:14):
Or invite someone to repent of.
Maybe you need to be the oneasking for forgiveness.
Maybe there are just some wayswhere you need to adjust your
perspective about someone who,you know, who is a follower of
Jesus, but who doesn't feel verylike you.
And so you don't feel veryloving towards them.
You need to learn how to seethem, the way that Jesus sees
(23:36):
them.
Try to identify three or fourother followers of Jesus that
you could treat them more likethey are your family.
Okay.
I hope this helps you get abetter picture of what it looks
like to be the kind of man whocan step up to a high calling, a
pretty big challenge that Jesusis inviting us into.
(23:57):
But that if we will do that, wecan literally change the world
because everyone would long tobe part of a family.
That looks like that.
Let's create it and invite theminto it.
I hope this helps you men.
I look forward to talking to yousome more about this as we
continue this series, the way ofthe king.
(24:17):
Next time here on the manhoodtribe show.
I'll see you then.
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