August 12, 2025 • 17 mins
Do you feel like you're failing at life? You're not alone. Modern life can feel so challenging for men today.
We discuss the pressures from social media, societal expectations, and the lies that make us feel inadequate. Learn how to recalibrate your focus, establish meaningful male friendships, and tackle the important priorities in life.
00:00 The Struggles of Modern Manhood
02:30 Personal Stories and Common Challenges
03:32 Middle Age and Its Unique Challenges
05:47 Later Years: Navigating Retirement and Loneliness
08:29 Recalibrating Your Life
08:52 Addressing the Lies and Celebrating Small Victories
10:37 Building Strong Male Friendships
11:53 Refocusing on What Matters
14:33 Rebuilding and Moving Forward
16:29 Conclusion and Community Invitation
💪 Want to know how you measure up as a man? Take our free quiz, called How Manly Are You? and learn how you can get better at being a man. Download for free at manhoodtribes.com/manly. 💪
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Guys, let me ask you an honestquestion.
Do you feel like you're failing,like maybe at anything or just
at life in general?
Do you feel like you got more onyour plate than you can manage
and too many things that justaren't going the way that you
(00:21):
would like them to?
I think I can relate.
I think a lot of guys canhonestly, here at the Manhood
Tribes Channel, we've beenspending a lot of time recently
talking about why does it feelso hard to be a man in our
culture right now?
And I think this is one of thethings that many guys are kind
of resonating with at themoment, is that life just kind
(00:42):
of feels like it's throwing moreat us than we possibly could
succeed at.
And yet.
When we look around us, or welook at social media, or we look
at the expectations, you know,in the world of the media around
us, it kind of feels like asguys, like everyone else seems
to be doing okay, so why aren'twe like, shouldn't we be doing
(01:03):
better at these things?
We need to talk about thisfeeling of being a failure or at
just being unable to succeed atthe things that matter, because
I think this is something that alot of guys are dealing with at
the moment.
My name's Don Ross.
I'm the host here at the ManhoodTribes Channel, and I like to
say that my job is to try to dothree things for you.
(01:25):
I want to give you a clearvision of what it looks like to
be a man.
I want to give you a clearchallenge to build strong male
friendships, and I want to giveyou a clear path for how you can
do both things now.
When we're dealing with thisfeeling of being a failure, I
think this speaks to that kindof core idea of what it means to
(01:46):
be a man.
What is our vision of manhood?
Because if our vision of manhoodis based off of social media and
what we think we're supposed tobe succeeding at, then gosh,
guys, yeah.
Every one of us is gonna feellike we're failing.
Social media is notorious forjust being everyone else's
highlight reel, and yet we, weknow that our lives don't look.
(02:07):
Anything like what those liveson social media look like, but
if that's what our standard ofcomparison is, or even if we're
looking at like latest Hollywoodaction movie or superhero movie
and just feeling like, do Imeasure up as the kind of man
that I'm supposed to be?
You're probably gonna beconfronted with a no answer.
You're gonna feel like, no youdon't.
Maybe it's not even those thingsat all.
(02:30):
Maybe you're a guy who's in histwenties and thirties and you're
just looking at life going, Ican't seem to be able to get my
hands around any of the thingsthat I think I'm supposed to be
able to do.
I can't afford to buy a house.
I can't seem to nail down thejob or the position that I
really want to be able to have.
I.
I don't have the confidence tostart or to cement the long-term
(02:53):
relationship that I want tohave.
I, I'm not really, like, Iprobably want to get married at
some point in time, but I haveno idea how to be able to move
towards a woman in a way that isgonna yield that kind of
relationship.
Maybe you've already gotten intoa family and you're just in over
your head going, I have no ideahow to relate to this woman.
She seems so different than me.
(03:14):
Or you've got young kids andyou're just constantly
exhausted.
Yeah, I get it.
All of those things are hard,difficult, and it can just kind
of feel like compoundedtogether.
You're just sort of failing,like, can you actually
accomplish any of the thingsthat you're supposed to
accomplish?
Maybe you are like me and you'rein more of a middle age stage of
(03:36):
life, and at this stage it justkind of feels like the problems
are never ending.
Like the pile just keeps gettingbigger.
Yeah.
You're, you're probably marriedwith a family or maybe you're
divorced with kids and you aretrying to figure out like how to
navigate.
All of those complexrelationships, your partner or
(03:58):
your ex-partner is like in aplace where you don't understand
what's going on with them.
Their world feels totallydifferent than it once did when
you got married and you don'tquite know how to relate
anymore.
How do I connect with thisperson?
All of this feels new in someways that shouldn't feel new.
And at the same time, you've gotkids, likely teenagers who are
(04:18):
going through.
All kinds of changes that don'tmake any sense.
They don't process the world inany way that feels logical or
that you can relate to oractually talk to them about.
And when you try to, they justthrow it back in your face and
so it feels like yet one moreplace where you just can't seem
to get it right.
Maybe your career isn't goingwhere you want it to go.
You've not reached or attainedthe status that you hope to be
(04:40):
able to do.
Maybe at the same time that allof that ha is happening.
You've got aging parents andyou're trying to deal with the
health issues that they'redealing with and navigate all of
the.
Change in life that is facingthem and therefore it's facing
you as well.
You're trying to maintain somekind of faith and just feel
like, uh, this just feels likeone extra thing on the pile.
(05:02):
You're trying to maintain somelevel of health and fitness,
right?
You don't want to just give up.
To the dad bod, but at the sametime, like finding time for not
just going to the gym butactually being healthy enough to
not have to go to the doctor allthe time.
Like you feel like you'restarting to have to take all
these medications and you don'twant to have to do that.
Okay, look, I get it.
I can keep going, but I thinkyou get it too, like.
(05:24):
All of this feels hard, and itjust feels like, how can I get
ahead?
How can I actually feel like I'msucceeding and thriving in life
when all of this is happening tome?
I just feel like it's too muchto have to hang onto.
I'm failing all the time, evenif I'm not failing at everything
all at once.
I'm failing at some things allthe time, and it just feels like
(05:45):
it's more than you can handle.
Maybe you're a guy who's in yourlater years in life.
You're either approaching oryou're at retirement age, or
you've maybe been in that stagefor a while, and you might be
just kind of feeling like, Idon't know what to do with
myself at this stage in my life.
I'm lonely.
I'm bored.
(06:06):
I'm kind of frustrated becauseI, I just feel.
Angsty and angry all the time.
I'm not sure who I am and whatI'm meant to be doing, and maybe
this whole retirement thingisn't really all it's cracked up
to be.
If you found your identity in alot of what you did with your
work, that could be a feelingthat you're having at the
(06:26):
moment.
You don't have your workanymore, and so you don't really
know what to do to fill yourdays and how to compensate for
your time.
If you're still married, at thispoint in your life, you're not
really sure how to relate toyour wife at this stage, you've
spent most of your life working,and so a lot of your waking
hours were spent away from yourspouse and now you're spending
(06:48):
all this time together andyou're not really sure, like,
how do you make that work?
How do you not drive each othercrazy?
You maybe wanna reach out toyour kids, but you know your
kids are grown and you don'twant to just be a burden to
them.
You want to be involved in yourgrand grandkids lives, but
you're not really sure what roleyou're supposed to play as
granddad, how do you like bepresent in their life, but not
(07:11):
overstep your boundaries?
There's just some kind of likefine line there that you never
seem like you can feel like youcan master.
You're kind of always steppingin the wrong direction as it
relates to the importantrelationships in your life.
You might even be at the agewhere a lot of those important
relationships in your life arefading.
The friends and the connectionsthat you've had in your life are
(07:33):
all disappearing for one reasonor another.
People maybe are moving away tobe closer to kids and grandkids.
Maybe you've moved away to becloser to kids and grandkids.
You might even have friends thatare passing away from health
issues or just getting to theage where that happens.
All of these things can make youfeel like, am I.
Doing anything right at life.
(07:55):
Is my retirement gonna hold onlong enough for me to be able to
actually pay my bills, let aloneto be able to pass something
down to my kids?
All of these things can leave usas men at this place in our
world, in our culture, feelinglike we just don't measure up.
We don't have what it takes.
We feel like we are failing atthe things that are supposed to
(08:17):
actually matter in this life.
And I get it guys.
All of that is a lot.
In fact, it's probably too much,and that's really what I want to
be able to say to you.
It's time for us as men to justkind of recalibrate a little bit
to figure out what are thethings that I'm actually
supposed to be succeeding at?
(08:38):
How do I know if I'm doing wellas a man to be able to evaluate
what makes me feel like I'mwinning or succeeding?
When I get up every day, how canI know if I'm doing the things
that I need to do?
All right.
Number one, you need to actuallyaddress the lies that are going
on in your life.
We talk about lies on thischannel a lot because they're
(08:58):
one of the easiest ways for mento buy into things or make
agreements with things that areactually gonna point us in the
wrong direction.
So you need to examine the liesin your life.
Those lies might be coming, likeI said earlier, from social
media, from comparing your lifeto every other man's highlight
reel and trying to realize thatyou don't have it all together,
(09:18):
there's no way that you're gonnalive up to all of those
standards because they aren'tactually standards.
They're just the things thatoccasionally another man feels
like he's doing well at, and heneeds to let everybody know
about it.
You don't have to be doing wellat the same things that every
other man is doing well at.
In fact, that's impossible.
That's a lie.
Don't buy into that.
(09:39):
Second.
When you do get into thoseplaces where you just feel like
you're failing, you need toactually kind of readjust that,
recognize that, okay, that is alie.
I'm not failing at everything.
I might be struggling at thisthing, but there are other
things that you might be doingwell at.
Celebrate some small victoriesand help yourself be able to
(10:01):
see.
Just because you're failing orstruggling in one or even a few
areas doesn't mean you'refailing at everything.
It just means that life is hard.
You're facing more challengesthan you possibly could, like
knock out of the park all at onetime, and that's.
Okay, so figure out the thingsthat you are succeeding at and
remind yourself of those things.
(10:22):
Let that be the truth that helpsyou confront the lie that you're
failing at everything becauseyou're not, you're just
struggling.
Life is a challenge, and that'sokay in this moment.
Third, you might be tempted withthe lie of nobody else is
struggling.
The way that I'm strugglingwith, and look, that's why we
have this channel, right?
That's why Manhood Tribes exist,is so that we as guys can come
(10:45):
out of the woods, get out of thedark, and start being honest
about what's really going on inour lives.
All of us are struggling, all ofus are feeling like this.
All of us are dealing with thisin some capacity, and so it's
time to reject the lie that noone else is dealing with these
kinds of struggles.
And in fact, you need to havesome friends that you're opening
up your struggles with.
(11:06):
That you're talking about thereality of what your life feels
like and how hard things are atthe moment, you need to be able
to deal with them, and you'renot gonna be able to deal with
those struggles alone.
You need some other guys aroundyou to help confront those lies
and move you back towards thetruth.
Okay, so how do you begin torecalibrate to help yourself be
(11:27):
able to get back to doing wellat some of the things that
really do matter?
First, you need to reach out,like I talked about.
You need to connect with othermen who can help you focus on
the things that are really gonnamatter and just let you know and
reassure you that it's okay thatyou're struggling.
We're all struggling.
Figuring out how to strugglewell is what's important, and
(11:49):
reaching out to other guys aregonna help you be able to do
that.
Next.
You do need to refocus.
You need to focus on the thingsthat actually matter the most.
Not every struggle is equalbecause not every problem
carries the highest weight orpriority in your life.
Like I talked about, maybe yourhealth and fitness.
(12:09):
Isn't the biggest thing that youneed to be focusing on if you're
reasonably healthy.
You know, measuring yourselfagainst the latest Hollywood
physique might not be the rightthing for you to do, but if
that's where you feel likeyou're failing and it's causing
you to neglect other areas inyour life that are actually more
important than your physique,then it's probably time to
refocus a little bit, refocusonto those things that actually
(12:31):
matter.
How do you know what actuallymatters?
Well, I would say start with thefive marks of manhood.
Those are the things that wetalk about on this channel that
are traits that all men shouldexhibit as a way to demonstrate
what it means to being a man.
Those five things are strength,courage, skill, honor, and
allegiance.
(12:52):
You can go back and watch someof the other videos in this
channel to help you get a betteridea of what all of those things
are.
But if you're not clear on howyou're doing those things well
in your life, then it's time toget clear on those, focus on
those things and how you canprioritize them.
They're going to lead youprobably to focusing on things
like the most importantrelationships in your life.
(13:13):
Right.
Your wife, your kids, maybe yourparents, depending on what stage
of life you're in, you need tobe able to focus on those things
and making sure that thosethings are healthy and doing
well if they're not, everythingelse in your life is gonna feel
out of kilter, and so figuringout how you can shore up those
relationships is gonna be reallyimportant.
Important.
(13:34):
Those five marks of manhood arealso going to try to encourage
you to focus on building strongmale friendships in your life.
That's a big part of what honoris all about.
You can't have honor if youdon't have a close group of
peers around you.
You need that tribe of men who'sgoing to help encourage you to
uphold those values and to bethe kind of man that you were
meant to be, but without a groupof men around you, you actually
(13:57):
can't live that way.
And so you need some other men.
I know it can feel like.
Gosh, that's a chore.
That's just one more thing onthe list.
But the truth of the matter is,guys, is that you're not going
to get to all the other thingson your list unless you have a
tribe of men around you who aresupporting you and challenging
you and encouraging you to beable to do those things.
You've got to have thosefriendships in place.
(14:20):
Okay, so remember I talked aboutthat One of my jobs is to give
you a challenge to build strongmale friendships.
There it is.
You need those male friendshipsin your life in order to be able
to refocus on the things thatare actually most important.
Lastly.
From there, once you've got yourfocus clear, then it's time to
start rebuilding.
It's time to just try to figureout, okay, of the things that
(14:41):
are the highest priorities ofthe things that matter the most,
what of those things am Iactually failing at?
And having some guys around youwho can help you evaluate that
is gonna be really important.
Maybe you're giving everythingyou can to those primary
relationships in your life, andthey're still just not going the
way that they need to go.
Maybe some guys around you wouldbe able to help say to you, Hey,
(15:03):
dude, you're doing everythingright.
This isn't on you.
You don't need to keep bustingyour balls, trying to make all
of this work, because there'smore people than you involved in
these relationships and youcan't control their choices, but
you are making all the rightchoices, and it's time to give
yourself some grace.
It's time to be able to say toyourself, you're not actually
(15:24):
failing.
You're fighting well.
The battle just isn't going yetthe way that you want it to go,
and you need some men toencourage you to be able to hang
in there and keep doing theright things.
But there might be some placesin your life where you really
are failing and you do need torefocus and rebuild and start
taking some steps in thosedirections.
(15:45):
A good tribe of men around youwill help you craft some manhood
challenges, some things to focuson, to make some appropriate
next steps to be able to move inthe directions that you want to
move in.
So again.
Use those relationships aroundyou to help you make the next
steps.
Guys, you're not failing.
You're fighting.
(16:06):
You might not be fighting wellin every area, and maybe you
need to figure out some ways todo that better.
But you are fighting andfiguring out that you need to
fight for the right things andto stay in the battle is what
it's really all about.
You're not failing.
Life is just hard, and you needto fight and fight well.
And here at the Manhood TribesChannel, I wanna encourage you
(16:26):
to do just that.
Okay.
If you're enjoying this kind ofcontent, guys, I would love it
if you would like this video andsubscribe to the channel, and I
would also encourage you toconsider checking out our
Manhood Tribe's community.
If you are looking for somelike-minded men to be around,
this is the place to be able todo it.
If you're wanting to get betterat being a man, if you're
(16:48):
wanting to get better as afollower of Jesus and you wanna
find some other like-minded mento connect with and encourage
you along the way.
The Manhood Tribes community isgonna be the place to do that.
So go to manhoodtribes.com/community and you can
figure out how to sign up forthat community when it's open,
and when you can join and be apart of the things that we are
(17:08):
doing there here at ManhoodTribes.
Alright, I would love to end byencouraging you to comment on
this video.
Just put down below in thecomments, what's the place in
life where you most feel likeyou're failing?
I look forward to reading yourcomments and to connecting with
you, and I look forward toseeing you again here on the
Manhood Tribes channel.
Next time we'll see you then
Guys, let me ask you an honestquestion.
Do you feel like you're failing,like maybe at anything or just
at life in general?
Do you feel like you got more onyour plate than you can manage
and too many things that justaren't going the way that you
(00:21):
would like them to?
I think I can relate.
I think a lot of guys canhonestly, here at the Manhood
Tribes Channel, we've beenspending a lot of time recently
talking about why does it feelso hard to be a man in our
culture right now?
And I think this is one of thethings that many guys are kind
of resonating with at themoment, is that life just kind
(00:42):
of feels like it's throwing moreat us than we possibly could
succeed at.
And yet.
When we look around us, or welook at social media, or we look
at the expectations, you know,in the world of the media around
us, it kind of feels like asguys, like everyone else seems
to be doing okay, so why aren'twe like, shouldn't we be doing
(01:03):
better at these things?
We need to talk about thisfeeling of being a failure or at
just being unable to succeed atthe things that matter, because
I think this is something that alot of guys are dealing with at
the moment.
My name's Don Ross.
I'm the host here at the ManhoodTribes Channel, and I like to
say that my job is to try to dothree things for you.
(01:25):
I want to give you a clearvision of what it looks like to
be a man.
I want to give you a clearchallenge to build strong male
friendships, and I want to giveyou a clear path for how you can
do both things now.
When we're dealing with thisfeeling of being a failure, I
think this speaks to that kindof core idea of what it means to
(01:46):
be a man.
What is our vision of manhood?
Because if our vision of manhoodis based off of social media and
what we think we're supposed tobe succeeding at, then gosh,
guys, yeah.
Every one of us is gonna feellike we're failing.
Social media is notorious forjust being everyone else's
highlight reel, and yet we, weknow that our lives don't look.
(02:07):
Anything like what those liveson social media look like, but
if that's what our standard ofcomparison is, or even if we're
looking at like latest Hollywoodaction movie or superhero movie
and just feeling like, do Imeasure up as the kind of man
that I'm supposed to be?
You're probably gonna beconfronted with a no answer.
You're gonna feel like, no youdon't.
Maybe it's not even those thingsat all.
(02:30):
Maybe you're a guy who's in histwenties and thirties and you're
just looking at life going, Ican't seem to be able to get my
hands around any of the thingsthat I think I'm supposed to be
able to do.
I can't afford to buy a house.
I can't seem to nail down thejob or the position that I
really want to be able to have.
I.
I don't have the confidence tostart or to cement the long-term
(02:53):
relationship that I want tohave.
I, I'm not really, like, Iprobably want to get married at
some point in time, but I haveno idea how to be able to move
towards a woman in a way that isgonna yield that kind of
relationship.
Maybe you've already gotten intoa family and you're just in over
your head going, I have no ideahow to relate to this woman.
She seems so different than me.
(03:14):
Or you've got young kids andyou're just constantly
exhausted.
Yeah, I get it.
All of those things are hard,difficult, and it can just kind
of feel like compoundedtogether.
You're just sort of failing,like, can you actually
accomplish any of the thingsthat you're supposed to
accomplish?
Maybe you are like me and you'rein more of a middle age stage of
(03:36):
life, and at this stage it justkind of feels like the problems
are never ending.
Like the pile just keeps gettingbigger.
Yeah.
You're, you're probably marriedwith a family or maybe you're
divorced with kids and you aretrying to figure out like how to
navigate.
All of those complexrelationships, your partner or
(03:58):
your ex-partner is like in aplace where you don't understand
what's going on with them.
Their world feels totallydifferent than it once did when
you got married and you don'tquite know how to relate
anymore.
How do I connect with thisperson?
All of this feels new in someways that shouldn't feel new.
And at the same time, you've gotkids, likely teenagers who are
(04:18):
going through.
All kinds of changes that don'tmake any sense.
They don't process the world inany way that feels logical or
that you can relate to oractually talk to them about.
And when you try to, they justthrow it back in your face and
so it feels like yet one moreplace where you just can't seem
to get it right.
Maybe your career isn't goingwhere you want it to go.
You've not reached or attainedthe status that you hope to be
(04:40):
able to do.
Maybe at the same time that allof that ha is happening.
You've got aging parents andyou're trying to deal with the
health issues that they'redealing with and navigate all of
the.
Change in life that is facingthem and therefore it's facing
you as well.
You're trying to maintain somekind of faith and just feel
like, uh, this just feels likeone extra thing on the pile.
(05:02):
You're trying to maintain somelevel of health and fitness,
right?
You don't want to just give up.
To the dad bod, but at the sametime, like finding time for not
just going to the gym butactually being healthy enough to
not have to go to the doctor allthe time.
Like you feel like you'restarting to have to take all
these medications and you don'twant to have to do that.
Okay, look, I get it.
I can keep going, but I thinkyou get it too, like.
(05:24):
All of this feels hard, and itjust feels like, how can I get
ahead?
How can I actually feel like I'msucceeding and thriving in life
when all of this is happening tome?
I just feel like it's too muchto have to hang onto.
I'm failing all the time, evenif I'm not failing at everything
all at once.
I'm failing at some things allthe time, and it just feels like
(05:45):
it's more than you can handle.
Maybe you're a guy who's in yourlater years in life.
You're either approaching oryou're at retirement age, or
you've maybe been in that stagefor a while, and you might be
just kind of feeling like, Idon't know what to do with
myself at this stage in my life.
I'm lonely.
I'm bored.
(06:06):
I'm kind of frustrated becauseI, I just feel.
Angsty and angry all the time.
I'm not sure who I am and whatI'm meant to be doing, and maybe
this whole retirement thingisn't really all it's cracked up
to be.
If you found your identity in alot of what you did with your
work, that could be a feelingthat you're having at the
(06:26):
moment.
You don't have your workanymore, and so you don't really
know what to do to fill yourdays and how to compensate for
your time.
If you're still married, at thispoint in your life, you're not
really sure how to relate toyour wife at this stage, you've
spent most of your life working,and so a lot of your waking
hours were spent away from yourspouse and now you're spending
(06:48):
all this time together andyou're not really sure, like,
how do you make that work?
How do you not drive each othercrazy?
You maybe wanna reach out toyour kids, but you know your
kids are grown and you don'twant to just be a burden to
them.
You want to be involved in yourgrand grandkids lives, but
you're not really sure what roleyou're supposed to play as
granddad, how do you like bepresent in their life, but not
(07:11):
overstep your boundaries?
There's just some kind of likefine line there that you never
seem like you can feel like youcan master.
You're kind of always steppingin the wrong direction as it
relates to the importantrelationships in your life.
You might even be at the agewhere a lot of those important
relationships in your life arefading.
The friends and the connectionsthat you've had in your life are
(07:33):
all disappearing for one reasonor another.
People maybe are moving away tobe closer to kids and grandkids.
Maybe you've moved away to becloser to kids and grandkids.
You might even have friends thatare passing away from health
issues or just getting to theage where that happens.
All of these things can make youfeel like, am I.
Doing anything right at life.
(07:55):
Is my retirement gonna hold onlong enough for me to be able to
actually pay my bills, let aloneto be able to pass something
down to my kids?
All of these things can leave usas men at this place in our
world, in our culture, feelinglike we just don't measure up.
We don't have what it takes.
We feel like we are failing atthe things that are supposed to
(08:17):
actually matter in this life.
And I get it guys.
All of that is a lot.
In fact, it's probably too much,and that's really what I want to
be able to say to you.
It's time for us as men to justkind of recalibrate a little bit
to figure out what are thethings that I'm actually
supposed to be succeeding at?
(08:38):
How do I know if I'm doing wellas a man to be able to evaluate
what makes me feel like I'mwinning or succeeding?
When I get up every day, how canI know if I'm doing the things
that I need to do?
All right.
Number one, you need to actuallyaddress the lies that are going
on in your life.
We talk about lies on thischannel a lot because they're
(08:58):
one of the easiest ways for mento buy into things or make
agreements with things that areactually gonna point us in the
wrong direction.
So you need to examine the liesin your life.
Those lies might be coming, likeI said earlier, from social
media, from comparing your lifeto every other man's highlight
reel and trying to realize thatyou don't have it all together,
(09:18):
there's no way that you're gonnalive up to all of those
standards because they aren'tactually standards.
They're just the things thatoccasionally another man feels
like he's doing well at, and heneeds to let everybody know
about it.
You don't have to be doing wellat the same things that every
other man is doing well at.
In fact, that's impossible.
That's a lie.
Don't buy into that.
(09:39):
Second.
When you do get into thoseplaces where you just feel like
you're failing, you need toactually kind of readjust that,
recognize that, okay, that is alie.
I'm not failing at everything.
I might be struggling at thisthing, but there are other
things that you might be doingwell at.
Celebrate some small victoriesand help yourself be able to
(10:01):
see.
Just because you're failing orstruggling in one or even a few
areas doesn't mean you'refailing at everything.
It just means that life is hard.
You're facing more challengesthan you possibly could, like
knock out of the park all at onetime, and that's.
Okay, so figure out the thingsthat you are succeeding at and
remind yourself of those things.
(10:22):
Let that be the truth that helpsyou confront the lie that you're
failing at everything becauseyou're not, you're just
struggling.
Life is a challenge, and that'sokay in this moment.
Third, you might be tempted withthe lie of nobody else is
struggling.
The way that I'm strugglingwith, and look, that's why we
have this channel, right?
That's why Manhood Tribes exist,is so that we as guys can come
(10:45):
out of the woods, get out of thedark, and start being honest
about what's really going on inour lives.
All of us are struggling, all ofus are feeling like this.
All of us are dealing with thisin some capacity, and so it's
time to reject the lie that noone else is dealing with these
kinds of struggles.
And in fact, you need to havesome friends that you're opening
up your struggles with.
(11:06):
That you're talking about thereality of what your life feels
like and how hard things are atthe moment, you need to be able
to deal with them, and you'renot gonna be able to deal with
those struggles alone.
You need some other guys aroundyou to help confront those lies
and move you back towards thetruth.
Okay, so how do you begin torecalibrate to help yourself be
(11:27):
able to get back to doing wellat some of the things that
really do matter?
First, you need to reach out,like I talked about.
You need to connect with othermen who can help you focus on
the things that are really gonnamatter and just let you know and
reassure you that it's okay thatyou're struggling.
We're all struggling.
Figuring out how to strugglewell is what's important, and
(11:49):
reaching out to other guys aregonna help you be able to do
that.
Next.
You do need to refocus.
You need to focus on the thingsthat actually matter the most.
Not every struggle is equalbecause not every problem
carries the highest weight orpriority in your life.
Like I talked about, maybe yourhealth and fitness.
(12:09):
Isn't the biggest thing that youneed to be focusing on if you're
reasonably healthy.
You know, measuring yourselfagainst the latest Hollywood
physique might not be the rightthing for you to do, but if
that's where you feel likeyou're failing and it's causing
you to neglect other areas inyour life that are actually more
important than your physique,then it's probably time to
refocus a little bit, refocusonto those things that actually
(12:31):
matter.
How do you know what actuallymatters?
Well, I would say start with thefive marks of manhood.
Those are the things that wetalk about on this channel that
are traits that all men shouldexhibit as a way to demonstrate
what it means to being a man.
Those five things are strength,courage, skill, honor, and
allegiance.
(12:52):
You can go back and watch someof the other videos in this
channel to help you get a betteridea of what all of those things
are.
But if you're not clear on howyou're doing those things well
in your life, then it's time toget clear on those, focus on
those things and how you canprioritize them.
They're going to lead youprobably to focusing on things
like the most importantrelationships in your life.
(13:13):
Right.
Your wife, your kids, maybe yourparents, depending on what stage
of life you're in, you need tobe able to focus on those things
and making sure that thosethings are healthy and doing
well if they're not, everythingelse in your life is gonna feel
out of kilter, and so figuringout how you can shore up those
relationships is gonna be reallyimportant.
Important.
(13:34):
Those five marks of manhood arealso going to try to encourage
you to focus on building strongmale friendships in your life.
That's a big part of what honoris all about.
You can't have honor if youdon't have a close group of
peers around you.
You need that tribe of men who'sgoing to help encourage you to
uphold those values and to bethe kind of man that you were
meant to be, but without a groupof men around you, you actually
(13:57):
can't live that way.
And so you need some other men.
I know it can feel like.
Gosh, that's a chore.
That's just one more thing onthe list.
But the truth of the matter is,guys, is that you're not going
to get to all the other thingson your list unless you have a
tribe of men around you who aresupporting you and challenging
you and encouraging you to beable to do those things.
You've got to have thosefriendships in place.
(14:20):
Okay, so remember I talked aboutthat One of my jobs is to give
you a challenge to build strongmale friendships.
There it is.
You need those male friendshipsin your life in order to be able
to refocus on the things thatare actually most important.
Lastly.
From there, once you've got yourfocus clear, then it's time to
start rebuilding.
It's time to just try to figureout, okay, of the things that
(14:41):
are the highest priorities ofthe things that matter the most,
what of those things am Iactually failing at?
And having some guys around youwho can help you evaluate that
is gonna be really important.
Maybe you're giving everythingyou can to those primary
relationships in your life, andthey're still just not going the
way that they need to go.
Maybe some guys around you wouldbe able to help say to you, Hey,
(15:03):
dude, you're doing everythingright.
This isn't on you.
You don't need to keep bustingyour balls, trying to make all
of this work, because there'smore people than you involved in
these relationships and youcan't control their choices, but
you are making all the rightchoices, and it's time to give
yourself some grace.
It's time to be able to say toyourself, you're not actually
(15:24):
failing.
You're fighting well.
The battle just isn't going yetthe way that you want it to go,
and you need some men toencourage you to be able to hang
in there and keep doing theright things.
But there might be some placesin your life where you really
are failing and you do need torefocus and rebuild and start
taking some steps in thosedirections.
(15:45):
A good tribe of men around youwill help you craft some manhood
challenges, some things to focuson, to make some appropriate
next steps to be able to move inthe directions that you want to
move in.
So again.
Use those relationships aroundyou to help you make the next
steps.
Guys, you're not failing.
You're fighting.
(16:06):
You might not be fighting wellin every area, and maybe you
need to figure out some ways todo that better.
But you are fighting andfiguring out that you need to
fight for the right things andto stay in the battle is what
it's really all about.
You're not failing.
Life is just hard, and you needto fight and fight well.
And here at the Manhood TribesChannel, I wanna encourage you
(16:26):
to do just that.
Okay.
If you're enjoying this kind ofcontent, guys, I would love it
if you would like this video andsubscribe to the channel, and I
would also encourage you toconsider checking out our
Manhood Tribe's community.
If you are looking for somelike-minded men to be around,
this is the place to be able todo it.
If you're wanting to get betterat being a man, if you're
(16:48):
wanting to get better as afollower of Jesus and you wanna
find some other like-minded mento connect with and encourage
you along the way.
The Manhood Tribes community isgonna be the place to do that.
So go to manhoodtribes.com/community and you can
figure out how to sign up forthat community when it's open,
and when you can join and be apart of the things that we are
(17:08):
doing there here at ManhoodTribes.
Alright, I would love to end byencouraging you to comment on
this video.
Just put down below in thecomments, what's the place in
life where you most feel likeyou're failing?
I look forward to reading yourcomments and to connecting with
you, and I look forward toseeing you again here on the
Manhood Tribes channel.
Next time we'll see you then
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