July 8, 2025 • 13 mins
In this episode, we’re uncovering one of the sneakiest blocks to your manifestations: control addiction. If you’ve been visualizing, scripting, and hustling to "make it happen" but still feel stuck, this episode is your invitation to soften and receive.
You’ll learn why your obsession with timelines and micromanaging outcomes is sabotaging your desires (without you even realizing it), and how surrendering isn’t about giving up — it’s about stepping into your true magnetic power.
I’m sharing practical rituals, daily mindset shifts, and real-life examples to help you move from force to flow. Plus, you’ll discover how to calm your nervous system so you can finally trust the Universe and watch your biggest dreams land with ease.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- What “control addiction” really is and how it blocks manifestation
- The difference between surrender and passivity (and why it matters)
- Rituals and mindset tools to start letting go without spiraling
- How to feel safe while releasing control and inviting in more abundance
- My favorite affirmation to anchor you back into trust
Ready to level up your manifesting game for real? Grab my top freebies loved by Manifest SHE insiders:
What's Blocking Your Manifestation? — Take the quiz to finally uncover why it’s not flowing (and what to do instead). Take it HERE
The Manifest SHE Affirmation Builder — Create affirmations that actually work, based on YOUR real blocks & desires. No more empty chanting. Start GENERATING.
7 Days to Stress Less & Manifest More — Calm your mind, open your energy, and start magnetizing your desires without the mental chaos. Check out the No-Cost eBook
Pick one (or binge them all) & watch the shifts start today.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Let's talk about the addiction.
We don't even realize that weare hooked on and it can torpedo
our manifestations.
And that's control.
I know, a lot of times when wethink about addictions, we think
about bad habits or substances,but control can actually be an
addiction.
You know that feeling wheneverything needs to go your way,
(00:20):
in your timing, according toyour plan, and if it doesn't,
your nervous systemshort-circuits and your inner
manifesting magic just fizzlesright on out.
Yeah, that is a controladdiction.
It can be sneaky because it candisguise itself as
responsibility, ambition,organization.
(00:41):
It tells you, if you don'thandle it, who's gonna?
You know, if I don't do it, whowill?
It whispers that you can'ttrust anyone else, that you have
to make sure it's done theright way, and when you have
that feeling, that translates tonot even trusting the universe.
The fact of the matter is isthat control and manifestation
(01:02):
do not mix.
The more tightly you grip theoutcome, the more the energy of
receiving slips through yourfingers.
If you've ever felt like you'redoing everything you're
supposed to to manifest, butnothing is happening, if you
have been scripting andvisualizing vision, boarding
your heart out, and you stillfeel stuck like nothing is
(01:22):
coming to fruition, then thisepisode is your soul's gentle
wake-up call, because we'regoing to unpack why control is
actually blocking your biggestmanifestation, how to start
releasing it without yournervous system freaking out, and
what surrender really lookslike in practice.
So grab your favorite drink,cozy up and let's get started.
(01:44):
First we have to talk about theroot of the issue.
Why do we want to try tocontrol everything?
It could be because we learnedthrough trauma, conditioning or
just life being life, thatcontrol feels safer than trust.
Maybe you had to grow up toofast.
Maybe plans falling apart meantpain or chaos or instability.
(02:05):
So that brilliant, beautifulbrain of yours learned that
managing every detail was howyou stayed safe.
So control became a survivalstrategy, and that doesn't mean
it's a flaw or a failure.
It just means that your innersystem was doing its best to
feel safe.
The problem is manifestation isabout energy, and the energy of
(02:28):
control is constriction.
It says I don't trust, I don'tbelieve I need to force this.
Where manifestation requiresexpansion, I trust, I'm opened,
I'm aligned with receiving.
Control is like clenching yourfist around sand, and the
tighter you hold, the more it'sgoing to slip through your
(02:49):
fingers.
But when you open your hands,the sand settles, it stays, you
receive.
This is how this controladdiction can show up in your
life, so you can bring awarenessto it and then move past it.
If you micromanage yourmanifestations like did I
visualize long enough?
Should I script again?
(03:10):
Maybe I should change thescript.
Maybe you're obsessing overtimelines, saying things like it
has to happen by next month, orelse I need it right now.
Why isn't it here yet?
It should be here by now.
You could possibly rewrite yourgoals every week, trying to
make the universe move faster.
(03:33):
Or you say you're surrendering,but secretly you're checking the
tracking number of yourmanifestation every five minutes
.
And when I say like thetracking number, you're looking
at your bank account.
You're looking at you knowwhere is this abundance going to
come from?
Like you're constantly checkingit out.
This is exhausting, becauseyour nervous system really is
stuck in this hypervigilance andyour energy, which really
(03:57):
should be flowing freely towardsyour desire, is tangled up in
fear.
Now there's a lot of commonmisconceptions around letting go
, and that's what makes it hardto surrender, because a lot of
times you think letting go meansgiving up, that if you release
control, you're just sittingaround waiting for magic to drop
(04:18):
in your lap, and that's not it.
Letting go isn't passive.
It's one of the mostenergetically active things you
can do.
It means you have done yourpart and now you're going to
align your energy, you're goingto open your heart and you're
going to trust that your desiresare in motion, even if you
can't see them yet.
Them yet.
(04:47):
Surrender isn't weakness.
It is part of your power.
It is your power to say I knowthat I am creating my 3D.
I know I'm creating my reality.
I believe in my power.
So here are some ways to startletting go without spiraling,
because I talked about how yournervous system gets all shaky
when you start to let go,because it wants to keep you
safe.
(05:08):
Your brain, your subconscious,has programs and those programs
want to keep you safe.
But you want to rewire thatbecause you want something new,
and so it's always going to feeluncertain because that
subconscious of yours does notlike new stuff.
Even if the stuff that is goingon in your life right now in
your 3D reality isn't servingyou and doesn't have the desires
that you want, it still feelssafe to your brain.
(05:31):
So your brain's going to stickwith the safety over the wanting
.
You have to make your way out.
You're going to get out of thatcomfort zone.
Here are some ways that you cando it so you can ease that
subconscious mind into it.
It's still going to feeluncomfortable but it's not going
to make you get paralyzed orshut down.
The first one is to create an Itrust ritual.
(05:51):
Every morning say out loud Itrust what I desire is on the
way in divine timing in thehighest form.
But don't just say it.
You need to feel it in yourbody, really feel it.
See if you have some resistancecoming up.
If you have that resistance,then gently tell yourself it is
okay, it is safe to trust.
(06:12):
The second one you can do isjust limit the obsessing.
Maybe you just pick one time aday to check in on your desire,
to journal it, to visualize it,to feel into it, and then you
let it go.
But you don't babysit yourmanifestation all day.
You're not hyper-focused orhyper-obsessing over it not
being here.
But if just doing it andletting it go feels like too
(06:36):
much, you can pick that one timea day check-in.
Another thing you can do iscelebrate delays.
When something doesn't happenin your timing, say thank you.
The delay is divine redirection.
I'm going to tell you how thisreally works out here in a
second, how it worked out justabout two weeks ago in my life.
But, thank you, you can reframethat pause as a protection.
(07:01):
Another thing that you can do isfind your anchors.
What makes you feel safewithout control?
Is that meditation?
Is it movement?
Is it music?
Is it nature?
Using these things to anchoryour nervous system when
surrender feels scary.
Finding those things that bringin safety while allowing you to
(07:22):
let go of control.
And you can use thisaffirmation or you can go create
your own affirmation.
I have a free affirmationgenerator.
I do believe that having aunique affirmation that speaks
to your needs is far morepowerful than generic
affirmations.
I'll link it in the show notesso you can go get that today.
(07:43):
It's going to walk you throughthe whole process and it's going
to generate a customaffirmation for you, but one
that you could use is control isnot safety.
Trust is my power.
So you can start there, or youcan go get your custom one to
use, using that affirmationthrough the day to realign your
(08:04):
nervous system.
So I want to go back tocelebrating delays, because this
two weeks ago I went weddingdress shopping with my daughter
and I promised her I was goingto buy her wedding dress.
I am the kind of person that Ilike to pay things outright.
I don't like to put things oncredit.
When you go buy a wedding dress, usually they want like 60%
down and then you pay the restwhen the dress comes in.
(08:26):
I'm the kind of person I liketo pay it all at once.
Well, I was waiting for a banktransfer because I wanted to
make this purchase out of aspecific account.
So I was waiting for a banktransfer and the day came to go
shopping for wedding dresses andthe bank transfer hadn't gone
through.
I told my daughter okay, let'sgo find your dress and then, as
soon as the bank transfer goesthrough, I'll just go back to
the shop buy the dress.
(08:47):
It's not a big deal, just acouple of days of a delay.
Well, we went to the firstbridal boutique.
She found a dress that shethought was her dress.
She said yes to the dress there, but we had another appointment
set up that we couldn't cancel.
So we were like we're going togo to the other appointment.
We're going to try on dressesnow that we know the style she
wants.
All the things.
(09:08):
Had I had the money, had thetransfer went through, I would
have automatically purchasedthat first dress at the first
shop, because that's just how Iam.
They'd have been like, hey, howdo you want to pay for it?
I want to pay for it all atonce.
Here you go, swipe the card,bam done.
Well, it's a good thing.
There was a delay and the moneywasn't there, because she
really found the dress shereally really wanted at the
(09:28):
second bridal boutique, the onethat made her shake, that made
the tears come, like she justknew this was the dress.
And so, had I had the banktransfer and had it been
successfully done in the timeframe that I wanted it done in
bank transfer, and had it beensuccessfully done in the time
frame that I wanted it done in,we would have bought the wrong
(09:51):
dress or we would have had to gothrough a whole lot to maybe
refund the first dress so shecould get the second dress I
don't know, who knows.
Glad I didn't have to deal withit because there was a delay,
and that is okay.
It was a blessing in disguise,as they like to say.
So sometimes, when things don'thappen, that is okay.
It was a blessing in disguise,as they like to say.
So sometimes, when things don'thappen, that's okay, it's
divine redirection, because shereally did think at that first
(10:14):
store that was going to be herdress and then she completely
forgot about the first dressthat she thought she was going
to say yes to when she put onthe other dress.
Letting go of control, I wantyou to really think of
manifestation like ordering atyour favorite restaurant.
I think about it like this allthe time when I'm trying to let
go of control.
So you place your order,whatever that order is your
(10:37):
desire, you trust the chef inthe back knows how to cook it.
You're not running in thekitchen every five minutes to
see how they're chopping theonions.
You know how much olive oilthey're using.
You don't do that.
You don't doubt that whateveryou place your order for is
going to come to you.
You just wait.
You trust you enjoy yourappetizer, which is your current
(11:01):
reality, knowing that the maincourse is coming.
But if you storm in the kitchen, if you demand to cook it
yourself, if you're yelling atthe chef, you're not going to
get what you really wanted.
You're not going to enjoy thatmeal.
So really, I just need you tolet the chef cook.
Okay, just let the chef cook.
Your order is coming.
(11:23):
I want to remind you thatletting go is a practice, as is
everything else.
You have to practice it.
If control is an addiction,you're not going to make a
one-time decision and all isgoing to be well.
You're going to have topractice.
You're going to have tosurrender.
Sometimes maybe you're going tohave to surrender the same
desire 50 times, and that isokay.
(11:45):
Each time it gets easier.
Your trust, muscles grow, yourenergy is going to become more
magnetic and you're going tofind that the less you try to
control, the more naturallythings flow.
So I just want to remind youthat you're not failing.
You're simply being invited totrust deeper.
(12:06):
Remember this control addictionis something that we've gotten
from our programming in our life, from some sort of experience.
And remember that restaurant,that your desires are on your
way, not because you force them,but because you're aligned with
them.
You placed your order.
It's coming.
Start with one thing today oneplace that you can breathe, that
(12:27):
you can soften, that you cansay I let go to receive, because
the universe is alreadyconspiring in your favor.
So keep your heart open andyour energy clean and remember
that it is okay to practicedoesn't mean you're a failure.
The biggest part is thatawareness piece.
Now you're aware and now youcan move forward.
I'll chat with you next week.
Let's talk about the addiction.
We don't even realize that weare hooked on and it can torpedo
our manifestations.
And that's control.
I know, a lot of times when wethink about addictions, we think
about bad habits or substances,but control can actually be an
addiction.
You know that feeling wheneverything needs to go your way,
(00:20):
in your timing, according toyour plan, and if it doesn't,
your nervous systemshort-circuits and your inner
manifesting magic just fizzlesright on out.
Yeah, that is a controladdiction.
It can be sneaky because it candisguise itself as
responsibility, ambition,organization.
(00:41):
It tells you, if you don'thandle it, who's gonna?
You know, if I don't do it, whowill?
It whispers that you can'ttrust anyone else, that you have
to make sure it's done theright way, and when you have
that feeling, that translates tonot even trusting the universe.
The fact of the matter is isthat control and manifestation
(01:02):
do not mix.
The more tightly you grip theoutcome, the more the energy of
receiving slips through yourfingers.
If you've ever felt like you'redoing everything you're
supposed to to manifest, butnothing is happening, if you
have been scripting andvisualizing vision, boarding
your heart out, and you stillfeel stuck like nothing is
(01:22):
coming to fruition, then thisepisode is your soul's gentle
wake-up call, because we'regoing to unpack why control is
actually blocking your biggestmanifestation, how to start
releasing it without yournervous system freaking out, and
what surrender really lookslike in practice.
So grab your favorite drink,cozy up and let's get started.
(01:44):
First we have to talk about theroot of the issue.
Why do we want to try tocontrol everything?
It could be because we learnedthrough trauma, conditioning or
just life being life, thatcontrol feels safer than trust.
Maybe you had to grow up toofast.
Maybe plans falling apart meantpain or chaos or instability.
(02:05):
So that brilliant, beautifulbrain of yours learned that
managing every detail was howyou stayed safe.
So control became a survivalstrategy, and that doesn't mean
it's a flaw or a failure.
It just means that your innersystem was doing its best to
feel safe.
The problem is manifestation isabout energy, and the energy of
(02:28):
control is constriction.
It says I don't trust, I don'tbelieve I need to force this.
Where manifestation requiresexpansion, I trust, I'm opened,
I'm aligned with receiving.
Control is like clenching yourfist around sand, and the
tighter you hold, the more it'sgoing to slip through your
(02:49):
fingers.
But when you open your hands,the sand settles, it stays, you
receive.
This is how this controladdiction can show up in your
life, so you can bring awarenessto it and then move past it.
If you micromanage yourmanifestations like did I
visualize long enough?
Should I script again?
(03:10):
Maybe I should change thescript.
Maybe you're obsessing overtimelines, saying things like it
has to happen by next month, orelse I need it right now.
Why isn't it here yet?
It should be here by now.
You could possibly rewrite yourgoals every week, trying to
make the universe move faster.
(03:33):
Or you say you're surrendering,but secretly you're checking the
tracking number of yourmanifestation every five minutes
.
And when I say like thetracking number, you're looking
at your bank account.
You're looking at you knowwhere is this abundance going to
come from?
Like you're constantly checkingit out.
This is exhausting, becauseyour nervous system really is
stuck in this hypervigilance andyour energy, which really
(03:57):
should be flowing freely towardsyour desire, is tangled up in
fear.
Now there's a lot of commonmisconceptions around letting go
, and that's what makes it hardto surrender, because a lot of
times you think letting go meansgiving up, that if you release
control, you're just sittingaround waiting for magic to drop
(04:18):
in your lap, and that's not it.
Letting go isn't passive.
It's one of the mostenergetically active things you
can do.
It means you have done yourpart and now you're going to
align your energy, you're goingto open your heart and you're
going to trust that your desiresare in motion, even if you
can't see them yet.
Them yet.
(04:47):
Surrender isn't weakness.
It is part of your power.
It is your power to say I knowthat I am creating my 3D.
I know I'm creating my reality.
I believe in my power.
So here are some ways to startletting go without spiraling,
because I talked about how yournervous system gets all shaky
when you start to let go,because it wants to keep you
safe.
(05:08):
Your brain, your subconscious,has programs and those programs
want to keep you safe.
But you want to rewire thatbecause you want something new,
and so it's always going to feeluncertain because that
subconscious of yours does notlike new stuff.
Even if the stuff that is goingon in your life right now in
your 3D reality isn't servingyou and doesn't have the desires
that you want, it still feelssafe to your brain.
(05:31):
So your brain's going to stickwith the safety over the wanting
.
You have to make your way out.
You're going to get out of thatcomfort zone.
Here are some ways that you cando it so you can ease that
subconscious mind into it.
It's still going to feeluncomfortable but it's not going
to make you get paralyzed orshut down.
The first one is to create an Itrust ritual.
(05:51):
Every morning say out loud Itrust what I desire is on the
way in divine timing in thehighest form.
But don't just say it.
You need to feel it in yourbody, really feel it.
See if you have some resistancecoming up.
If you have that resistance,then gently tell yourself it is
okay, it is safe to trust.
(06:12):
The second one you can do isjust limit the obsessing.
Maybe you just pick one time aday to check in on your desire,
to journal it, to visualize it,to feel into it, and then you
let it go.
But you don't babysit yourmanifestation all day.
You're not hyper-focused orhyper-obsessing over it not
being here.
But if just doing it andletting it go feels like too
(06:36):
much, you can pick that one timea day check-in.
Another thing you can do iscelebrate delays.
When something doesn't happenin your timing, say thank you.
The delay is divine redirection.
I'm going to tell you how thisreally works out here in a
second, how it worked out justabout two weeks ago in my life.
But, thank you, you can reframethat pause as a protection.
(07:01):
Another thing that you can do isfind your anchors.
What makes you feel safewithout control?
Is that meditation?
Is it movement?
Is it music?
Is it nature?
Using these things to anchoryour nervous system when
surrender feels scary.
Finding those things that bringin safety while allowing you to
(07:22):
let go of control.
And you can use thisaffirmation or you can go create
your own affirmation.
I have a free affirmationgenerator.
I do believe that having aunique affirmation that speaks
to your needs is far morepowerful than generic
affirmations.
I'll link it in the show notesso you can go get that today.
(07:43):
It's going to walk you throughthe whole process and it's going
to generate a customaffirmation for you, but one
that you could use is control isnot safety.
Trust is my power.
So you can start there, or youcan go get your custom one to
use, using that affirmationthrough the day to realign your
(08:04):
nervous system.
So I want to go back tocelebrating delays, because this
two weeks ago I went weddingdress shopping with my daughter
and I promised her I was goingto buy her wedding dress.
I am the kind of person that Ilike to pay things outright.
I don't like to put things oncredit.
When you go buy a wedding dress, usually they want like 60%
down and then you pay the restwhen the dress comes in.
(08:26):
I'm the kind of person I liketo pay it all at once.
Well, I was waiting for a banktransfer because I wanted to
make this purchase out of aspecific account.
So I was waiting for a banktransfer and the day came to go
shopping for wedding dresses andthe bank transfer hadn't gone
through.
I told my daughter okay, let'sgo find your dress and then, as
soon as the bank transfer goesthrough, I'll just go back to
the shop buy the dress.
(08:47):
It's not a big deal, just acouple of days of a delay.
Well, we went to the firstbridal boutique.
She found a dress that shethought was her dress.
She said yes to the dress there, but we had another appointment
set up that we couldn't cancel.
So we were like we're going togo to the other appointment.
We're going to try on dressesnow that we know the style she
wants.
All the things.
(09:08):
Had I had the money, had thetransfer went through, I would
have automatically purchasedthat first dress at the first
shop, because that's just how Iam.
They'd have been like, hey, howdo you want to pay for it?
I want to pay for it all atonce.
Here you go, swipe the card,bam done.
Well, it's a good thing.
There was a delay and the moneywasn't there, because she
really found the dress shereally really wanted at the
(09:28):
second bridal boutique, the onethat made her shake, that made
the tears come, like she justknew this was the dress.
And so, had I had the banktransfer and had it been
successfully done in the timeframe that I wanted it done in
bank transfer, and had it beensuccessfully done in the time
frame that I wanted it done in,we would have bought the wrong
(09:51):
dress or we would have had to gothrough a whole lot to maybe
refund the first dress so shecould get the second dress I
don't know, who knows.
Glad I didn't have to deal withit because there was a delay,
and that is okay.
It was a blessing in disguise,as they like to say.
So sometimes, when things don'thappen, that is okay.
It was a blessing in disguise,as they like to say.
So sometimes, when things don'thappen, that's okay, it's
divine redirection, because shereally did think at that first
(10:14):
store that was going to be herdress and then she completely
forgot about the first dressthat she thought she was going
to say yes to when she put onthe other dress.
Letting go of control, I wantyou to really think of
manifestation like ordering atyour favorite restaurant.
I think about it like this allthe time when I'm trying to let
go of control.
So you place your order,whatever that order is your
(10:37):
desire, you trust the chef inthe back knows how to cook it.
You're not running in thekitchen every five minutes to
see how they're chopping theonions.
You know how much olive oilthey're using.
You don't do that.
You don't doubt that whateveryou place your order for is
going to come to you.
You just wait.
You trust you enjoy yourappetizer, which is your current
(11:01):
reality, knowing that the maincourse is coming.
But if you storm in the kitchen, if you demand to cook it
yourself, if you're yelling atthe chef, you're not going to
get what you really wanted.
You're not going to enjoy thatmeal.
So really, I just need you tolet the chef cook.
Okay, just let the chef cook.
Your order is coming.
(11:23):
I want to remind you thatletting go is a practice, as is
everything else.
You have to practice it.
If control is an addiction,you're not going to make a
one-time decision and all isgoing to be well.
You're going to have topractice.
You're going to have tosurrender.
Sometimes maybe you're going tohave to surrender the same
desire 50 times, and that isokay.
(11:45):
Each time it gets easier.
Your trust, muscles grow, yourenergy is going to become more
magnetic and you're going tofind that the less you try to
control, the more naturallythings flow.
So I just want to remind youthat you're not failing.
You're simply being invited totrust deeper.
(12:06):
Remember this control addictionis something that we've gotten
from our programming in our life, from some sort of experience.
And remember that restaurant,that your desires are on your
way, not because you force them,but because you're aligned with
them.
You placed your order.
It's coming.
Start with one thing today oneplace that you can breathe, that
(12:27):
you can soften, that you cansay I let go to receive, because
the universe is alreadyconspiring in your favor.
So keep your heart open andyour energy clean and remember
that it is okay to practicedoesn't mean you're a failure.
The biggest part is thatawareness piece.
Now you're aware and now youcan move forward.
I'll chat with you next week.
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