November 19, 2024 • 25 mins
It is time to shine some light on one of the biggest barriers holding women back from manifesting their true desires: perfectionism. This isn't about the simple need to tidy up or get things right; this episode explores the deeply ingrained societal programming that tells women they must be flawless to be worthy of what they want.
Join me as we uncover:
- Why Perfectionism is Rooted in Fear: Discover how perfectionism creates resistance to manifesting and how it keeps you stuck in a cycle of waiting for the perfect moment that never comes.
- The Patriarchal Programming Behind Perfectionism: Understand how societal expectations have taught women to follow rules and be “perfect” while men are praised for confidence and potential.
- How to Manifest Without Perfection: Learn practical, tangible ways to let go of the need for perfection and step into your power, manifesting from a place of worthiness and self-love.
This episode offers actionable steps to recognize and challenge the perfectionism programming in your life and invites you to embrace imperfection as a way to open up to abundance and alignment. If you’ve been waiting to feel “ready” or “perfect” before asking the universe for what you want, this episode will empower you to take small, messy, but meaningful steps forward.
Want to break free from the societal expectations and start manifesting with ease? Join Shannon’s Manifest SHE Coaching for an intensive, transformative experience to reconnect with your true identity and manifest without resistance. Spots are limited, so grab yours today.
Remember, the universe doesn’t reward perfection; it rewards aligned action. Let’s get imperfect and manifest unapologetically!
The article mentioned in today's episode: Why Women Don’t Apply for Jobs Unless They’re 100% Qualified
Ready to level up your manifesting game for real? Grab my top freebies loved by Manifest SHE insiders:
What's Blocking Your Manifestation? — Take the quiz to finally uncover why it’s not flowing (and what to do instead). Take it HERE
The Manifest SHE Affirmation Builder — Create affirmations that actually work, based on YOUR real blocks & desires. No more empty chanting. Start GENERATING.
7 Days to Stress Less & Manifest More — Calm your mind, open your energy, and start magnetizing your desires without the mental chaos. Check out the No-Cost eBook
Pick one (or binge them all) & watch the shifts start today.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey there and welcome back to the Live Life
Unapologetically podcast.
I'm Shannon Kaye and in today'sepisode we're going to dive
into something that holds a lotof women back from manifesting
their true desires, and that'sperfectionism.
And I'm not just talking aboutperfectionism on a surface level
.
We're exploring today thesocietal programming that leads
(00:21):
to perfectionism, that's beeningrained into women so that
women feel like that they haveto be perfect before feeling
worthy of asking for orreceiving what they truly want
to manifest.
In the past couple weeks, we'velooked at things that truly
block women's manifestationsgoing through identity and all
other kind of societalprogramming, and today we're
(00:43):
going to talk aboutperfectionism.
A lot of times we look at ourlimiting beliefs and we're
looking at oh you know, I justdon't believe that money grows
on trees and things like that wedo need to address those
limiting beliefs.
But as we move forward inmanifestation and I believe now
more than ever, women should bemanifesting a life that looks
and feels good to them,unapologetically as fuck period,
(01:07):
this is the time to do it.
When it seems like it's not thetime, that's when we have to
rise up into our power andthat's when we need to do it.
I want to encourage you, I wantto really show you how society
gets in the way of womenmanifesting, so that we can just
address those things head on,so we can stop skirting things
head on, so we can stop skirtingpast it, so we can stop saying,
oh well, you know, that's justhow our world works.
(01:29):
That's the problem with blocksand manifestation is that we're
like oh, that's just how our 3Dworld works and we can never get
past that 3D world.
We live in a patriarchalsociety, so for women to
manifest their desires it's moredifficult because we have the
programming of the patriarchy.
But I want us to recognize itfor what it is.
(01:50):
What has it relates tomanifestation, so we can move on
, move past it, be moreempowered and manifest a life
that we truly love.
If we have the power tomanifest the reality that we
desire through our beliefs, andthat power is in us, then it
doesn't matter what's happeningoutside of us.
We have to get to a place wherewe understand that we have more
(02:14):
power than what is outside ofus.
We have power that has beenpushed down through so many
centuries by patriarchal system.
We have to tap back into ourfeminine power to manifest
outside of the construct ofthose systems outside of the
construct of those programming.
(02:34):
I wanna talk about perfectionismand that programming and how
that programming directlyaffects women, so that we can
then see it, empower ourselvespast it and manifest what you
deserve in this life.
You deserve all the good things.
So if you ever felt like youhad to have everything just
(02:55):
right before taking a stepforward, before asking for your
desires, before dreaming thatbig, beautiful desire, before
you ask for more, then I wantyou to listen up.
We're going to break down thisunconscious conditioning that
shows up in our manifestingpractices.
More importantly, we're goingto talk about how to move past
it.
I want you to get comfy, getcozy as can be, grab your
(03:18):
favorite drink and let's diveinto this.
First I want to start whyperfectionism is such a major
block to manifestation.
Because, at the core,perfectionism is rooted in fear
Fear of failing, fear of notbeing enough, fear of not
getting the results you want.
That fear, energy, iscompletely out of alignment with
(03:41):
the energy of manifesting,which is all about ease and flow
and trust.
When you're caught up inperfectionism, you're in a state
of tension, anxiety and control.
You think, if I don't do thisperfectly, it's not going to
work and that energy keeps youstuck.
You procrastinate, waiting forthe perfect moment, the perfect
(04:01):
conditions, the perfect plan.
And the truth is thatmanifesting doesn't require
perfection.
It does not.
It requires progress,consistency and showing up for
yourself.
Manifesting just requires youto believe in the possibility.
Let's dig into why so many of uswomen struggle with this.
(04:24):
Because perfectionism isn'tjust a personal trait.
You know how some people arelike oh, I'm just a
perfectionist.
It's not a personal trait, itis something that society has
programmed into you as a woman.
From a young age, you weretaught to work hard to prove
yourself, to strive forperfection, to be taken
(04:45):
seriously or feel worthy.
You were told that you need tolook perfect, act perfect and
have perfect achievements.
To be accepted and valued, youhad to have a certain kind of
body, a certain kind of look.
That's what's acceptable,that's what's valuable.
You have to be seen and notheard when we talk about acting
perfect.
You know give your ideas andgive your input, but don't be
(05:06):
too aggressive, don't be tooloud, don't push too much.
Be humble, be meek.
That's a good woman.
You'll have perfectachievements because you know
you have to be a high achieverto deserve to continue to go up.
And even if you have highachievements, you know, if you
become a mom, please put thoseon hold, oh wait.
(05:29):
But still have a career andhave all the balance.
Do all of these things andthat's how you can be acceptable
and valued.
But it's kind of like in theBarbie movie, where she was
talking about all the thingsthat society puts on women.
I want you to think about that,the things that you have to do
and you're striving for thisperfect idea of a woman that
just does not exist, but societytells you it does and you keep
striving.
And that's why we're stuck, notmanifesting, not manifesting
the business that we want withthe business success that we
(05:50):
want, because we don't want toanswer to anybody else.
We're going to create our ownwealth, not having the
relationships and alwayscompromising ourselves and
friendships and romanticrelationships and work
relationships, because we haveto be perfect to be valued and
accepted.
Meanwhile, men are oftenpraised for their competence,
even when they're less competent, they go for what they want to
(06:15):
go for, even if they're notfully prepared.
But as women, we toil with thisidea that we have to be
perfectly qualified, perfectlyput together and perfectly
competent experts before we'reallowed to ask for what we want.
I looked up an article because Iremember seeing this a couple
of years ago and I've told youguys before, I worked in a
(06:35):
woman-dominated field.
I was an educator.
But the patriarchy was so realin that space that, even though
it was women who kept the system, who keep the system going,
when it came to positions ofpower and leadership, better
leave it to a man than a woman.
And for a woman to get it, shehad to work so hard to become
(06:56):
the principal or theinstructional coach or working
curriculum or be thesuperintendent.
She was more scrutinized than aman.
You would have women who wouldapply for these jobs, who had
been in education for so long,and they were like no, not her,
let's pick the man who hasn'tbeen in education as long, who
(07:16):
hasn't done as much as thiswoman.
I saw at firsthand.
Why is that?
I'm telling you this about jobsbecause this is really how we
approach manifesting, especiallymanifesting wealth.
When you think about promotions, you think, great, I'm going to
get a promotion.
With that promotion comes moremoney and a six-figure earner, a
seven-figure earner, and bringthat money to me with ease.
(07:52):
I've checked all the boxes.
I deserve it.
Pick me, pick me.
So I looked up an article by theHarvard Business Review and
I'll link it in the description,and it talks about different
things, but it talks about thesocietal things.
I want to talk about thesocietal things, and why so?
The first societal thing wasthat there is a bias in some
work environments where womenneed to be more qualified to be
(08:15):
hired than their malecounterparts.
So the report found that menare often hired or promoted
based on their potential andwomen for their experience and
track record.
So coming up in our society,that's not something just as a
few businesses made up, it's asocietal program.
Oh my gosh, look at this man'spotential, but woman.
(08:40):
I need you to tell me aboutyour experience and I need you
to give a detailed list of yourtrack record.
So we go to the universe likethat and we're like okay,
universe, I want to manifestmoney once again.
And here's all of my experienceso far with manifestation.
And here is my track record,here is my worth, based on what
I think it's based on, based onmy perfectionism ideals, because
(09:00):
we carry that intomanifestation, because that has
been put onto us as a programwhere, when men are manifesting.
They're just thinking about thepotential, because that's how
society sees the difference.
And the second thing and Ithought this was very
interesting as well Anybody cantell you that I always was like
no, no, no, I follow the rules,I don't break the rules.
(09:21):
One of my friends was like girl,you better ask for forgiveness
instead of permission.
Stop asking for permission, askfor forgiveness, Because I'm
like no, I follow the rules andI drive the speed limit and I do
what I'm told verbatim and itdrives me crazy to break the
rules and I'm a rebelliousperson.
I always thought I wasrebellious, so it's kind of a
paradox I will follow the rules,but I'm rebellious.
If it's something that peoplethink is popular, then I'm not
(09:42):
going to do that.
But when it comes torelationships, when it comes to
just rules in general Like I'msuch a rule follower, I'm like
where did that come from Society?
This article really touched onit.
It says girls are stronglysocialized to follow rules in
school and they get rewarded forfollowing the rules, and it
talks about how that theirsuccess is attributed to how
(10:07):
good they follow the rules.
So rule following becomes ahabit at a cost.
At a cost for should I apply.
We're talking about jobs.
Well, honey, if you're tooscared to apply for a job,
you're gonna be too scared toapply to the universe and say I
want this.
As a matter of fact, when we'retalking about following rules
(10:28):
and asking for permission, youdon't have to ask the universe
for permission.
I don't know why we think that.
I don't know why we think wehave to go to the universe just
down on our knees and humbledand like we're unworthy, like
it's gifting something to usthat we're not deserving because
we're not perfect.
No, you go boldly and say I'mco-creating with you, I believe
(10:52):
this and that is what willhappen.
You show up in your authoritybecause you have authority, but
because we focus so much onperfectionism, we don't walk in
that authority and then we don'tmanifest what we want fully,
because perfectionism keeps youfrom walking in your power and
your authority to create yourreality.
You get to create your reality.
(11:15):
You're the creator.
How many times have you thoughtof a desire that you wanted to
ask the universe for, but youthought no, I probably need to
do X, y and Z first, then I cancome and ask the universe?
I had somebody that I wasspeaking with the other day and
she was telling me about she'sstarting a business.
(11:35):
We were talking about differentthings and she said she really
comes back to comparison andcomparison often leads you to
try to be more perfect.
Like I said, she's starting abusiness, she's doing something
new in her life.
She needs to walk in that power.
She doesn't have to have allthe expertise, she doesn't have
to have any of that, she justneeds to know.
This is what I'm asking for.
She doesn't need to baby stepit right.
We baby step stuff because ofthis perfectionism idea.
(11:58):
So her baby step might be likeoh, I just want a few clients
this year and we do this inbusiness all the time because we
hear this as another societalprogram.
The first five years of yourbusiness are years that you're
not going to make a profit.
Nobody turns a profit inbusiness until after five years.
Well, if she has on her heart tostart a business, that's her
passion and purpose and shewants to manifest a business,
(12:18):
screw timelines that areman-made.
Walk in her power.
She can walk up in her power tothe universe and say my desire
is to have this business andthen she just needs to align to
it and let it happen, with theuniverse being in alignment Not
an alignment of the timelinethat society says, not in
alignment with the perfectionthat society programs into her.
(12:39):
She can walk into her businessand say I'm aligned because the
universe says I can havewhatever I believe, period.
There's no qualifications.
You want to be an expert whocares.
The universe will give you whatyou ask for if you believe.
But you have to let go of theperfectionism.
Who cares if it's sloppy?
Who cares if it's messy?
The universe is going to workall of that out.
(12:59):
Tap into the power regardless.
So many of the ideas of what isperfect are man-made.
They're man-made and they'reone-sided because men can go
based on potential, but women,we get stuck based on a list of
did I mark everything off?
Does this track?
No, go based on your potential.
(13:20):
So to the woman that I knowwho's starting her business and
I know she listens to thepodcast go to your potential,
screw everything else.
Tap into knowing I have all thepotential in the world.
If this was placed on yourheart as a desire and it's
authentic to you, then you havethe potential for it.
That's all you need, becausethis programming of
perfectionism, especially forwomen, is just harmful.
It blocks manifestation.
(13:41):
This constantly waiting to beperfect before asking for what
you want, or thinking youdeserve what you want, or
shrinking your requests becauseyou don't feel like you've
earned more yet is keeping youout of alignment with your true,
honest desires.
How else does this show up?
You know we're talking aboutwealth and money and this shows
(14:05):
up in just going to show up inthe world confident and I'm
going to go to my manifestationsand I'm going to go to the
universe confidently yourconfidence is automatically shot
.
Like dads can have dad bods andthat's so cute, but as a mom,
you're not supposed to look likeyou had a baby at all, right.
So this kind of programming inour society and the difference
between men and women and that'swhy I'm really harping on
(14:26):
societal programming for women,because I truly need you to
understand how this affects yougoing through the world in a way
you may not even think aboutwhen you're trying to manifest
how are you showing up?
Just looking, how you lookafter, like I birthed four
babies out of my body.
It looks the way it looks.
Get over it.
That's just my thoughts on it.
But how you feel about yourselfand your appearance directly
(14:49):
impacts how you show up in theconfidence you show up in.
Well, if you don't haveconfidence and you're trying to
be perfect and work all that out, how are you manifesting what
you want?
How are you getting that?
How are you getting there?
So perfectionism is going tokill it every single time.
There's a lot of pressure onwomen to be perfect in so many
areas of their life.
Many times we don't evenrealize that this societal
(15:13):
pressure is influencing ourmanifesting practices.
We think we're just beingresponsible or realistic, but in
fact we're just holdingourselves back.
We lessen our hopes, believingthat the universe is going to
disappoint us if we ask forsomething too great because we
just aren't there yet, we'rejust not good enough yet.
This mindset creates resistance, a layer of resistance that,
(15:37):
until we really look at it, wecan't move past it, because
manifesting is about asking,believing and receiving.
If you're doubting your worth,if you're doubting if you're
good enough, or if you'refeeling like, well, I have to be
perfect first before you canreceive, then that's blocking
you.
The universe responds to yourenergy and if your energy is
(15:57):
wrapped up in doubt and fear,you're never going to be in a
position to receive.
So how do we move past this ifit is so ingrained in our
societal structures and in oursystems?
And we're women and we'resitting here trying to manifest
that.
We're a time when people aresaying, well, women are too much
and doing too much.
Let's put women back in theirplace, because really that is an
(16:20):
underlying sentiment that'sgoing across the country
politically and some people saydon't bring politics into
manifestation, why not?
We have to understand theprograms and systems that we're
a part of, to break out of them.
How can I empower myself andget over something that limits
me?
If I don't understand what'slimiting me Doesn't mean that I
am going to fall into it and say, well, that's just how it is.
(16:41):
The point here is to say screwthe system.
The point here is to say I'mmore powerful than a system and
you are.
You have to manifest from thatplace.
When you want to startmanifesting from that place of
power, it has to be from a placeof worthiness and self-love
rather than perfectionism,rather than trying to check off
what you think is acceptable,rather than trying to check off
(17:04):
what society tells you isacceptable, screw that.
Like I said, I used to be arule follower.
I don't care anymore.
I'm here to break the rules, tomanifest the life that I want.
What rules has society put onyou that you need to break so
that you can manifest what youwant unapologetically?
You can start by practicingself-awareness and becoming
(17:26):
aware of when you're shrinkingyour desires.
Or when you're shrinking yourdesires or when you're telling
yourself you need to be perfector you need to be better or you
need to improve more before youask for it.
Are you lowering yourexpectations because you don't
feel worthy?
Are you lowering yourexpectations because you feel
like you need to achieve morebefore you can ask for it?
Recognize that pattern first,so that you can take the step in
(17:49):
breaking it.
How does this play out in yourlife?
How does perfectionism throughsocietal standards play a role
and be aware of how it plays arole in how you show up?
Now I need you to believe inyour worthiness.
That's the second thing I'mgoing to need you to do is
believe in your worthiness,because a huge part of
manifesting is believing thatyou're worthy of your desires.
(18:10):
I know that society may havetaught you otherwise, as a woman
, that you can't desire certainthings, you shouldn't desire
certain things, or that you haveto be perfect, to be able to
desire those things.
But I need you to rewrite thatnarrative by practicing
self-love and affirming yourworthiness daily, daily,
(18:30):
multiple times a day.
Remind yourself I am enoughright now as I am and I am
worthy of all of the good thingsI desire.
The third thing is to empoweryourself with new beliefs.
Once you've identified whereperfectionism has taken root in
your life, now I need you toreplace it with some new beliefs
.
Replace the limiting beliefsthat society has instilled with
you with empowering ones.
(18:50):
Instead of saying I need to beperfect before I can get what I
want, start saying consistentaction is enough.
The universe rewards my effortand my belief, not my perfection
.
Take small, imperfect actions.
You know we've been toutingthis phrase all over the
internet for quite some timeprogress over perfection.
(19:11):
But I still believe women flipit Perfection over progress.
So many of us and I'm talking toyou today, to that woman I'm
not talking about perfectionismwhen it comes to keeping your
house tidy even though, well,that's another thing, too tidy,
even though, well, that'sanother thing too but I'm really
talking about thatperfectionism of worthiness,
(19:31):
feeling that I'm not perfect yet, so I'm not worthy.
There's no such thing asperfection.
So I'm going to need you tojust take imperfect action,
sloppy action, any small stepyou take to bring you closer to
your desire.
The key is to move forward,even if it's messy, even if it's
imperfect.
Beseech the universe to replaceyour beliefs, to know that the
universe is not looking forflawless action, it's just
(19:52):
looking for aligned action.
It's looking for that alignmentof your thoughts, your emotions
, your beliefs.
Do you believe you're worthy?
Do you want this desire?
And how are you going to alignto this desire, regardless of
societal expectations orlimitations?
Align to it regardless.
Break the rules that say I haveto be a perfect woman to get
(20:16):
what I want, because societyteaches us that when you reach
perfection, sometimes as a woman, you don't get what you want
anyway.
So what is the point of tryingto play by those rules?
Play by your own rule.
There's something that I like todo when it comes to
perfectionism that couldprobably help you when it talks
about small, imperfect actions,when you're trying to change
your belief.
I did it with baking Christmascookies last year and that's
where I started, and I juststarted doing a whole bunch of
(20:38):
other things.
I purposely did stuffimperfectly, like I decorated
the cookies without trying tomake them pretty.
I was just throwing frosting onthere and guess what?
They tasted the same, didn'tmatter what the frosting looked
like on top of the cookie.
It still tasted good.
Who cares?
Do things imperfectly?
Do your hair imperfect one day?
You know different things likethat.
(20:59):
Whatever it is, make your bedimperfectly, did you still get
in and it felt all cozy at theend of the day?
Yeah, things don't have to beperfect, and neither do you.
Okay, so that's just somethingthat I do and that I did to help
with this perfectionismlimiting belief, because
perfectionism is just a limitingbelief, as I just started doing
stuff imperfectly on purpose,like purposely, just fucking it
(21:23):
up To teach myself it didn'thave to be perfect to be
beautiful.
Your challenge this week is tojust let go of the need of being
perfect, focus on taking onesmall imperfect action towards
your desire and celebrate it.
I sure as hell celebrated thoseimperfect cookies.
You know the Thanksgivingbreak's coming up, we're all
cooking and doing all that otherstuff.
What if?
What if your pie crust isn'tperfectly shaped?
(21:47):
What if you didn't make thehomemade pie but you bought one
from the store?
What if you didn't seteverything out on beautiful
dishes and make it aPinterest-worthy meal, but you
just put everything in a foilpan and told everybody to go to
town.
What can you do to teachyourself that stuff doesn't have
to be perfect?
And the reason I say those typeof things is because you teach
yourself with those type ofactions.
(22:07):
I say those type of things isbecause you teach yourself with
those type of actions.
So then you can then transferthat to the more abstract idea
of I don't have to be perfect tomanifest wealth.
I don't have to be perfect toask the universe to deliver me
my desires.
I'm a very tangible to abstractperson in my teaching.
This podcast is me teaching you.
What I know is when we'relearning things, we have to have
a tangible action first thatthen go into abstract.
(22:29):
You can't start with theabstract.
So some of these tips I giveyou may not seem very
manifesting, but you have totrain your brain that
imperfection is okay throughsomething tangible before you
can transfer it over to theabstract world of manifestation,
because abstract is just inyour mind, right, it's just not
physical.
So doing those physical actionsis gonna open your brain up to
(22:51):
learning and being able to applyit in an abstract way.
So find something crazy weirdthat you can be imperfect with
this week.
Just do it imperfectly andreflect on that.
Reflect on not fluffing thecouch pillows perfectly.
Reflect on not ironingperfectly.
I never iron perfectly, I don'tcare.
That's iron perfectly, I don'tcare.
That's one thing I don't strivefor.
Iron your pants by just goingover them, but they don't have
(23:12):
to be perfectly pressed,whatever it is.
Find something to start teachingyourself that it's okay to be
imperfect.
And then you celebrate it like,yeah, I put my clothes on, it
doesn't really matter, becausewhen I sit in the car they get
wrinkled anyway.
Huh, look at that.
You know who cares.
Who cares if isn't perfect?
What can you do?
That's not perfect?
Find something and then you'regoing to see through that
(23:37):
tangible aspect that it isn'teven an issue.
And then you can be like, ifit's not an issue, then I can
manifest what I want, eventhough I'm not perfect.
The more you show up foryourself, the more you believe
in your worth, the more you letgo of perfection, the more that
you can co-create and tap intothe power of the universe within
you to have your desires comeinto your reality.
(23:57):
If you're ready to go deeper,to discover your core identity,
to build a strong self-conceptso the manifestation can happen.
Naturally, join my Manifest shecoaching.
We're going to start bystripping away expectations,
perfectionism, all of thesesocietal programs that have been
holding you back, and thenreconnect you with who you
really are, because it's aboutmanifesting a life that feels
(24:21):
deeply aligned and true to you,without resistance.
So you can find moreinformation in the show notes,
in the show description.
You can click there's a linkthere or you can go to
coachingwithshannonkcom.
It'll take you right there toget more information on Manifest
she.
I am going to let you know thatI only have two spots for the
(24:42):
remainder of the year.
I'm only taking two more afterthe remainder of the year.
So if you sign up one, twothey're done.
That's all I'm working with.
From now until the rest of theyear is.
I'm taking on two.
If you want to get one of thosetwo spots, you need to go and
sign up for them today, beforethey are gone, because I am
going to limit them.
I want you to know that youdon't have to be perfect.
As a matter of fact, better tonot be perfect to manifest what
(25:05):
you want than to be perfect thisweek.
I want you to purposefully beimperfect and show the universe
that you are ready to drop thatprogramming.
I'll chat with you next week.
Hey there and welcome back to the Live Life
Unapologetically podcast.
I'm Shannon Kaye and in today'sepisode we're going to dive
into something that holds a lotof women back from manifesting
their true desires, and that'sperfectionism.
And I'm not just talking aboutperfectionism on a surface level
.
We're exploring today thesocietal programming that leads
(00:21):
to perfectionism, that's beeningrained into women so that
women feel like that they haveto be perfect before feeling
worthy of asking for orreceiving what they truly want
to manifest.
In the past couple weeks, we'velooked at things that truly
block women's manifestationsgoing through identity and all
other kind of societalprogramming, and today we're
(00:43):
going to talk aboutperfectionism.
A lot of times we look at ourlimiting beliefs and we're
looking at oh you know, I justdon't believe that money grows
on trees and things like that wedo need to address those
limiting beliefs.
But as we move forward inmanifestation and I believe now
more than ever, women should bemanifesting a life that looks
and feels good to them,unapologetically as fuck period,
(01:07):
this is the time to do it.
When it seems like it's not thetime, that's when we have to
rise up into our power andthat's when we need to do it.
I want to encourage you, I wantto really show you how society
gets in the way of womenmanifesting, so that we can just
address those things head on,so we can stop skirting things
head on, so we can stop skirtingpast it, so we can stop saying,
oh well, you know, that's justhow our world works.
(01:29):
That's the problem with blocksand manifestation is that we're
like oh, that's just how our 3Dworld works and we can never get
past that 3D world.
We live in a patriarchalsociety, so for women to
manifest their desires it's moredifficult because we have the
programming of the patriarchy.
But I want us to recognize itfor what it is.
(01:50):
What has it relates tomanifestation, so we can move on
, move past it, be moreempowered and manifest a life
that we truly love.
If we have the power tomanifest the reality that we
desire through our beliefs, andthat power is in us, then it
doesn't matter what's happeningoutside of us.
We have to get to a place wherewe understand that we have more
(02:14):
power than what is outside ofus.
We have power that has beenpushed down through so many
centuries by patriarchal system.
We have to tap back into ourfeminine power to manifest
outside of the construct ofthose systems outside of the
construct of those programming.
(02:34):
I wanna talk about perfectionismand that programming and how
that programming directlyaffects women, so that we can
then see it, empower ourselvespast it and manifest what you
deserve in this life.
You deserve all the good things.
So if you ever felt like youhad to have everything just
(02:55):
right before taking a stepforward, before asking for your
desires, before dreaming thatbig, beautiful desire, before
you ask for more, then I wantyou to listen up.
We're going to break down thisunconscious conditioning that
shows up in our manifestingpractices.
More importantly, we're goingto talk about how to move past
it.
I want you to get comfy, getcozy as can be, grab your
(03:18):
favorite drink and let's diveinto this.
First I want to start whyperfectionism is such a major
block to manifestation.
Because, at the core,perfectionism is rooted in fear
Fear of failing, fear of notbeing enough, fear of not
getting the results you want.
That fear, energy, iscompletely out of alignment with
(03:41):
the energy of manifesting,which is all about ease and flow
and trust.
When you're caught up inperfectionism, you're in a state
of tension, anxiety and control.
You think, if I don't do thisperfectly, it's not going to
work and that energy keeps youstuck.
You procrastinate, waiting forthe perfect moment, the perfect
(04:01):
conditions, the perfect plan.
And the truth is thatmanifesting doesn't require
perfection.
It does not.
It requires progress,consistency and showing up for
yourself.
Manifesting just requires youto believe in the possibility.
Let's dig into why so many of uswomen struggle with this.
(04:24):
Because perfectionism isn'tjust a personal trait.
You know how some people arelike oh, I'm just a
perfectionist.
It's not a personal trait, itis something that society has
programmed into you as a woman.
From a young age, you weretaught to work hard to prove
yourself, to strive forperfection, to be taken
(04:45):
seriously or feel worthy.
You were told that you need tolook perfect, act perfect and
have perfect achievements.
To be accepted and valued, youhad to have a certain kind of
body, a certain kind of look.
That's what's acceptable,that's what's valuable.
You have to be seen and notheard when we talk about acting
perfect.
You know give your ideas andgive your input, but don't be
(05:06):
too aggressive, don't be tooloud, don't push too much.
Be humble, be meek.
That's a good woman.
You'll have perfectachievements because you know
you have to be a high achieverto deserve to continue to go up.
And even if you have highachievements, you know, if you
become a mom, please put thoseon hold, oh wait.
(05:29):
But still have a career andhave all the balance.
Do all of these things andthat's how you can be acceptable
and valued.
But it's kind of like in theBarbie movie, where she was
talking about all the thingsthat society puts on women.
I want you to think about that,the things that you have to do
and you're striving for thisperfect idea of a woman that
just does not exist, but societytells you it does and you keep
striving.
And that's why we're stuck, notmanifesting, not manifesting
the business that we want withthe business success that we
(05:50):
want, because we don't want toanswer to anybody else.
We're going to create our ownwealth, not having the
relationships and alwayscompromising ourselves and
friendships and romanticrelationships and work
relationships, because we haveto be perfect to be valued and
accepted.
Meanwhile, men are oftenpraised for their competence,
even when they're less competent, they go for what they want to
(06:15):
go for, even if they're notfully prepared.
But as women, we toil with thisidea that we have to be
perfectly qualified, perfectlyput together and perfectly
competent experts before we'reallowed to ask for what we want.
I looked up an article because Iremember seeing this a couple
of years ago and I've told youguys before, I worked in a
(06:35):
woman-dominated field.
I was an educator.
But the patriarchy was so realin that space that, even though
it was women who kept the system, who keep the system going,
when it came to positions ofpower and leadership, better
leave it to a man than a woman.
And for a woman to get it, shehad to work so hard to become
(06:56):
the principal or theinstructional coach or working
curriculum or be thesuperintendent.
She was more scrutinized than aman.
You would have women who wouldapply for these jobs, who had
been in education for so long,and they were like no, not her,
let's pick the man who hasn'tbeen in education as long, who
(07:16):
hasn't done as much as thiswoman.
I saw at firsthand.
Why is that?
I'm telling you this about jobsbecause this is really how we
approach manifesting, especiallymanifesting wealth.
When you think about promotions, you think, great, I'm going to
get a promotion.
With that promotion comes moremoney and a six-figure earner, a
seven-figure earner, and bringthat money to me with ease.
(07:52):
I've checked all the boxes.
I deserve it.
Pick me, pick me.
So I looked up an article by theHarvard Business Review and
I'll link it in the description,and it talks about different
things, but it talks about thesocietal things.
I want to talk about thesocietal things, and why so?
The first societal thing wasthat there is a bias in some
work environments where womenneed to be more qualified to be
(08:15):
hired than their malecounterparts.
So the report found that menare often hired or promoted
based on their potential andwomen for their experience and
track record.
So coming up in our society,that's not something just as a
few businesses made up, it's asocietal program.
Oh my gosh, look at this man'spotential, but woman.
(08:40):
I need you to tell me aboutyour experience and I need you
to give a detailed list of yourtrack record.
So we go to the universe likethat and we're like okay,
universe, I want to manifestmoney once again.
And here's all of my experienceso far with manifestation.
And here is my track record,here is my worth, based on what
I think it's based on, based onmy perfectionism ideals, because
(09:00):
we carry that intomanifestation, because that has
been put onto us as a programwhere, when men are manifesting.
They're just thinking about thepotential, because that's how
society sees the difference.
And the second thing and Ithought this was very
interesting as well Anybody cantell you that I always was like
no, no, no, I follow the rules,I don't break the rules.
(09:21):
One of my friends was like girl,you better ask for forgiveness
instead of permission.
Stop asking for permission, askfor forgiveness, Because I'm
like no, I follow the rules andI drive the speed limit and I do
what I'm told verbatim and itdrives me crazy to break the
rules and I'm a rebelliousperson.
I always thought I wasrebellious, so it's kind of a
paradox I will follow the rules,but I'm rebellious.
If it's something that peoplethink is popular, then I'm not
(09:42):
going to do that.
But when it comes torelationships, when it comes to
just rules in general Like I'msuch a rule follower, I'm like
where did that come from Society?
This article really touched onit.
It says girls are stronglysocialized to follow rules in
school and they get rewarded forfollowing the rules, and it
talks about how that theirsuccess is attributed to how
(10:07):
good they follow the rules.
So rule following becomes ahabit at a cost.
At a cost for should I apply.
We're talking about jobs.
Well, honey, if you're tooscared to apply for a job,
you're gonna be too scared toapply to the universe and say I
want this.
As a matter of fact, when we'retalking about following rules
(10:28):
and asking for permission, youdon't have to ask the universe
for permission.
I don't know why we think that.
I don't know why we think wehave to go to the universe just
down on our knees and humbledand like we're unworthy, like
it's gifting something to usthat we're not deserving because
we're not perfect.
No, you go boldly and say I'mco-creating with you, I believe
(10:52):
this and that is what willhappen.
You show up in your authoritybecause you have authority, but
because we focus so much onperfectionism, we don't walk in
that authority and then we don'tmanifest what we want fully,
because perfectionism keeps youfrom walking in your power and
your authority to create yourreality.
You get to create your reality.
(11:15):
You're the creator.
How many times have you thoughtof a desire that you wanted to
ask the universe for, but youthought no, I probably need to
do X, y and Z first, then I cancome and ask the universe?
I had somebody that I wasspeaking with the other day and
she was telling me about she'sstarting a business.
(11:35):
We were talking about differentthings and she said she really
comes back to comparison andcomparison often leads you to
try to be more perfect.
Like I said, she's starting abusiness, she's doing something
new in her life.
She needs to walk in that power.
She doesn't have to have allthe expertise, she doesn't have
to have any of that, she justneeds to know.
This is what I'm asking for.
She doesn't need to baby stepit right.
We baby step stuff because ofthis perfectionism idea.
(11:58):
So her baby step might be likeoh, I just want a few clients
this year and we do this inbusiness all the time because we
hear this as another societalprogram.
The first five years of yourbusiness are years that you're
not going to make a profit.
Nobody turns a profit inbusiness until after five years.
Well, if she has on her heart tostart a business, that's her
passion and purpose and shewants to manifest a business,
(12:18):
screw timelines that areman-made.
Walk in her power.
She can walk up in her power tothe universe and say my desire
is to have this business andthen she just needs to align to
it and let it happen, with theuniverse being in alignment Not
an alignment of the timelinethat society says, not in
alignment with the perfectionthat society programs into her.
(12:39):
She can walk into her businessand say I'm aligned because the
universe says I can havewhatever I believe, period.
There's no qualifications.
You want to be an expert whocares.
The universe will give you whatyou ask for if you believe.
But you have to let go of theperfectionism.
Who cares if it's sloppy?
Who cares if it's messy?
The universe is going to workall of that out.
(12:59):
Tap into the power regardless.
So many of the ideas of what isperfect are man-made.
They're man-made and they'reone-sided because men can go
based on potential, but women,we get stuck based on a list of
did I mark everything off?
Does this track?
No, go based on your potential.
(13:20):
So to the woman that I knowwho's starting her business and
I know she listens to thepodcast go to your potential,
screw everything else.
Tap into knowing I have all thepotential in the world.
If this was placed on yourheart as a desire and it's
authentic to you, then you havethe potential for it.
That's all you need, becausethis programming of
perfectionism, especially forwomen, is just harmful.
It blocks manifestation.
(13:41):
This constantly waiting to beperfect before asking for what
you want, or thinking youdeserve what you want, or
shrinking your requests becauseyou don't feel like you've
earned more yet is keeping youout of alignment with your true,
honest desires.
How else does this show up?
You know we're talking aboutwealth and money and this shows
(14:05):
up in just going to show up inthe world confident and I'm
going to go to my manifestationsand I'm going to go to the
universe confidently yourconfidence is automatically shot
.
Like dads can have dad bods andthat's so cute, but as a mom,
you're not supposed to look likeyou had a baby at all, right.
So this kind of programming inour society and the difference
between men and women and that'swhy I'm really harping on
(14:26):
societal programming for women,because I truly need you to
understand how this affects yougoing through the world in a way
you may not even think aboutwhen you're trying to manifest
how are you showing up?
Just looking, how you lookafter, like I birthed four
babies out of my body.
It looks the way it looks.
Get over it.
That's just my thoughts on it.
But how you feel about yourselfand your appearance directly
(14:49):
impacts how you show up in theconfidence you show up in.
Well, if you don't haveconfidence and you're trying to
be perfect and work all that out, how are you manifesting what
you want?
How are you getting that?
How are you getting there?
So perfectionism is going tokill it every single time.
There's a lot of pressure onwomen to be perfect in so many
areas of their life.
Many times we don't evenrealize that this societal
(15:13):
pressure is influencing ourmanifesting practices.
We think we're just beingresponsible or realistic, but in
fact we're just holdingourselves back.
We lessen our hopes, believingthat the universe is going to
disappoint us if we ask forsomething too great because we
just aren't there yet, we'rejust not good enough yet.
This mindset creates resistance, a layer of resistance that,
(15:37):
until we really look at it, wecan't move past it, because
manifesting is about asking,believing and receiving.
If you're doubting your worth,if you're doubting if you're
good enough, or if you'refeeling like, well, I have to be
perfect first before you canreceive, then that's blocking
you.
The universe responds to yourenergy and if your energy is
(15:57):
wrapped up in doubt and fear,you're never going to be in a
position to receive.
So how do we move past this ifit is so ingrained in our
societal structures and in oursystems?
And we're women and we'resitting here trying to manifest
that.
We're a time when people aresaying, well, women are too much
and doing too much.
Let's put women back in theirplace, because really that is an
(16:20):
underlying sentiment that'sgoing across the country
politically and some people saydon't bring politics into
manifestation, why not?
We have to understand theprograms and systems that we're
a part of, to break out of them.
How can I empower myself andget over something that limits
me?
If I don't understand what'slimiting me Doesn't mean that I
am going to fall into it and say, well, that's just how it is.
(16:41):
The point here is to say screwthe system.
The point here is to say I'mmore powerful than a system and
you are.
You have to manifest from thatplace.
When you want to startmanifesting from that place of
power, it has to be from a placeof worthiness and self-love
rather than perfectionism,rather than trying to check off
what you think is acceptable,rather than trying to check off
(17:04):
what society tells you isacceptable, screw that.
Like I said, I used to be arule follower.
I don't care anymore.
I'm here to break the rules, tomanifest the life that I want.
What rules has society put onyou that you need to break so
that you can manifest what youwant unapologetically?
You can start by practicingself-awareness and becoming
(17:26):
aware of when you're shrinkingyour desires.
Or when you're shrinking yourdesires or when you're telling
yourself you need to be perfector you need to be better or you
need to improve more before youask for it.
Are you lowering yourexpectations because you don't
feel worthy?
Are you lowering yourexpectations because you feel
like you need to achieve morebefore you can ask for it?
Recognize that pattern first,so that you can take the step in
(17:49):
breaking it.
How does this play out in yourlife?
How does perfectionism throughsocietal standards play a role
and be aware of how it plays arole in how you show up?
Now I need you to believe inyour worthiness.
That's the second thing I'mgoing to need you to do is
believe in your worthiness,because a huge part of
manifesting is believing thatyou're worthy of your desires.
(18:10):
I know that society may havetaught you otherwise, as a woman
, that you can't desire certainthings, you shouldn't desire
certain things, or that you haveto be perfect, to be able to
desire those things.
But I need you to rewrite thatnarrative by practicing
self-love and affirming yourworthiness daily, daily,
(18:30):
multiple times a day.
Remind yourself I am enoughright now as I am and I am
worthy of all of the good thingsI desire.
The third thing is to empoweryourself with new beliefs.
Once you've identified whereperfectionism has taken root in
your life, now I need you toreplace it with some new beliefs
.
Replace the limiting beliefsthat society has instilled with
you with empowering ones.
(18:50):
Instead of saying I need to beperfect before I can get what I
want, start saying consistentaction is enough.
The universe rewards my effortand my belief, not my perfection
.
Take small, imperfect actions.
You know we've been toutingthis phrase all over the
internet for quite some timeprogress over perfection.
(19:11):
But I still believe women flipit Perfection over progress.
So many of us and I'm talking toyou today, to that woman I'm
not talking about perfectionismwhen it comes to keeping your
house tidy even though, well,that's another thing, too tidy,
even though, well, that'sanother thing too but I'm really
talking about thatperfectionism of worthiness,
(19:31):
feeling that I'm not perfect yet, so I'm not worthy.
There's no such thing asperfection.
So I'm going to need you tojust take imperfect action,
sloppy action, any small stepyou take to bring you closer to
your desire.
The key is to move forward,even if it's messy, even if it's
imperfect.
Beseech the universe to replaceyour beliefs, to know that the
universe is not looking forflawless action, it's just
(19:52):
looking for aligned action.
It's looking for that alignmentof your thoughts, your emotions
, your beliefs.
Do you believe you're worthy?
Do you want this desire?
And how are you going to alignto this desire, regardless of
societal expectations orlimitations?
Align to it regardless.
Break the rules that say I haveto be a perfect woman to get
(20:16):
what I want, because societyteaches us that when you reach
perfection, sometimes as a woman, you don't get what you want
anyway.
So what is the point of tryingto play by those rules?
Play by your own rule.
There's something that I like todo when it comes to
perfectionism that couldprobably help you when it talks
about small, imperfect actions,when you're trying to change
your belief.
I did it with baking Christmascookies last year and that's
where I started, and I juststarted doing a whole bunch of
(20:38):
other things.
I purposely did stuffimperfectly, like I decorated
the cookies without trying tomake them pretty.
I was just throwing frosting onthere and guess what?
They tasted the same, didn'tmatter what the frosting looked
like on top of the cookie.
It still tasted good.
Who cares?
Do things imperfectly?
Do your hair imperfect one day?
You know different things likethat.
(20:59):
Whatever it is, make your bedimperfectly, did you still get
in and it felt all cozy at theend of the day?
Yeah, things don't have to beperfect, and neither do you.
Okay, so that's just somethingthat I do and that I did to help
with this perfectionismlimiting belief, because
perfectionism is just a limitingbelief, as I just started doing
stuff imperfectly on purpose,like purposely, just fucking it
(21:23):
up To teach myself it didn'thave to be perfect to be
beautiful.
Your challenge this week is tojust let go of the need of being
perfect, focus on taking onesmall imperfect action towards
your desire and celebrate it.
I sure as hell celebrated thoseimperfect cookies.
You know the Thanksgivingbreak's coming up, we're all
cooking and doing all that otherstuff.
What if?
What if your pie crust isn'tperfectly shaped?
(21:47):
What if you didn't make thehomemade pie but you bought one
from the store?
What if you didn't seteverything out on beautiful
dishes and make it aPinterest-worthy meal, but you
just put everything in a foilpan and told everybody to go to
town.
What can you do to teachyourself that stuff doesn't have
to be perfect?
And the reason I say those typeof things is because you teach
yourself with those type ofactions.
(22:07):
I say those type of things isbecause you teach yourself with
those type of actions.
So then you can then transferthat to the more abstract idea
of I don't have to be perfect tomanifest wealth.
I don't have to be perfect toask the universe to deliver me
my desires.
I'm a very tangible to abstractperson in my teaching.
This podcast is me teaching you.
What I know is when we'relearning things, we have to have
a tangible action first thatthen go into abstract.
(22:29):
You can't start with theabstract.
So some of these tips I giveyou may not seem very
manifesting, but you have totrain your brain that
imperfection is okay throughsomething tangible before you
can transfer it over to theabstract world of manifestation,
because abstract is just inyour mind, right, it's just not
physical.
So doing those physical actionsis gonna open your brain up to
(22:51):
learning and being able to applyit in an abstract way.
So find something crazy weirdthat you can be imperfect with
this week.
Just do it imperfectly andreflect on that.
Reflect on not fluffing thecouch pillows perfectly.
Reflect on not ironingperfectly.
I never iron perfectly, I don'tcare.
That's iron perfectly, I don'tcare.
That's one thing I don't strivefor.
Iron your pants by just goingover them, but they don't have
(23:12):
to be perfectly pressed,whatever it is.
Find something to start teachingyourself that it's okay to be
imperfect.
And then you celebrate it like,yeah, I put my clothes on, it
doesn't really matter, becausewhen I sit in the car they get
wrinkled anyway.
Huh, look at that.
You know who cares.
Who cares if isn't perfect?
What can you do?
That's not perfect?
Find something and then you'regoing to see through that
(23:37):
tangible aspect that it isn'teven an issue.
And then you can be like, ifit's not an issue, then I can
manifest what I want, eventhough I'm not perfect.
The more you show up foryourself, the more you believe
in your worth, the more you letgo of perfection, the more that
you can co-create and tap intothe power of the universe within
you to have your desires comeinto your reality.
(23:57):
If you're ready to go deeper,to discover your core identity,
to build a strong self-conceptso the manifestation can happen.
Naturally, join my Manifest shecoaching.
We're going to start bystripping away expectations,
perfectionism, all of thesesocietal programs that have been
holding you back, and thenreconnect you with who you
really are, because it's aboutmanifesting a life that feels
(24:21):
deeply aligned and true to you,without resistance.
So you can find moreinformation in the show notes,
in the show description.
You can click there's a linkthere or you can go to
coachingwithshannonkcom.
It'll take you right there toget more information on Manifest
she.
I am going to let you know thatI only have two spots for the
(24:42):
remainder of the year.
I'm only taking two more afterthe remainder of the year.
So if you sign up one, twothey're done.
That's all I'm working with.
From now until the rest of theyear is.
I'm taking on two.
If you want to get one of thosetwo spots, you need to go and
sign up for them today, beforethey are gone, because I am
going to limit them.
I want you to know that youdon't have to be perfect.
As a matter of fact, better tonot be perfect to manifest what
(25:05):
you want than to be perfect thisweek.
I want you to purposefully beimperfect and show the universe
that you are ready to drop thatprogramming.
I'll chat with you next week.
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