March 11, 2024 • 57 mins
Ever wondered why some people seem to attract success while others stay mired in setbacks? Together with the brilliant Dr. Ryan Wakim, we tackle the hidden forces of your brain that shape your reality.
In our mind-expanding discussion, we uncover the subconscious patterns laid down in childhood and how they script your adult pursuits of love, success, and self-worth. From the depths of the limbic system to the heights of the cortex, learn how your brain can become your ally in consciously crafting the life you're yearning for.
Peel back the veil on the silent saboteurs in your mind—those limiting beliefs that whisper you're not enough or that safety must trump satisfaction. As we journey through the maze of the subconscious with Dr. Wakim, discover how to use emotional feedback to reveal and rewrite these internal narratives. By cultivating mindfulness and self-reflection, you'll find strategies to transform your inner dialogue, empowering you to break free from the chains of past programming and step into a realm of limitless potential.
Join us as we wrap up with a powerful testament to mentorship and the importance of mindset in entrepreneurial success. Sharing insights from the trenches of business growth and mentorship, Dr. Wakim and I emphasize the significance of facing the unknown with courage and the transformative questions that can pivot your path towards prosperity.
So, get ready to shift gears and manifest the big stuff—because with the right tools and insights, your ultimate end game is closer than you think.
Connect with Dr. Ryan Wakim, The End Game Coach
Website: https://endgame.coach/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Greg Kuhn (00:12):
Hello everybody, so glad that you are here with us
again at Manifested Big Stufffor another life-changing
conversation, this time with asuper special guest that I am so
excited to share with you.
I've really been lookingforward to this conversation.
(00:32):
We are welcoming Dr Ryan Wakimto the podcast to have a
paradigm-shattering discussionabout manifesting better
versions of life.
Dr Wakeham, please say hello tofolks who are joining in.
Dr. Ryan Wakim (00:52):
Hey, greg, thanks a lot.
Yeah, I'm Dr Ryan Wakeham.
I really appreciate you makingthe time to have this
conversation.
We had an incredible one on mypodcast and I've also really
been looking forward to thefollow-on to that and digging
deeper into manifestation andall the things that will come
with that.
So thanks for having me.
Greg Kuhn (01:14):
Wonderful.
I, of course, am Greg Kuhn.
I'm a manifesting coach, whichmeans that I help people turn up
their manifesting power.
It's one of my very favoritethings to do in life, and one of
the ways that I do that is bybringing you life-changing
(01:35):
podcasts.
Today's guest, I want to tellyou a little bit about Dr
Wakeham, and I think you'll geta sense of why I'm so excited to
continue the conversation thathe and I started on his podcast
last month.
Dr Ryan Wakeham is a boardcertified psychiatrist and he is
(01:56):
an entrepreneur.
He was driven early in hiscareer to expand access to
life-changing behavioral healthcare, and he has a passion for,
and an expertise in, thesubspecialty of, interventional
psychiatry.
Here are some examples ofinterventional psychiatry the
(02:20):
use of ketamine and otherpsychedelics, transcranial
magnetic stimulation andEEG-driven treatment planning.
Now Dr Wakeham got his MD fromWest Virginia University.
He also completed his residencytraining there, where he
finished as the chief residentin 2014.
(02:42):
Dr Wakeham co-founded and servedas the CEO of a
wellness-informed multi-statehealthcare system called
Transformations.
In 2021, transformationssuccessfully merged with Shore
Capital's outpatient mentalhealth platform, and now Dr
(03:03):
Wakeham sits as the acting chiefmedical officer of the
Transformations Care Network,where he develops strategic
clinical and growth-orientedinitiatives, all infused with a
purpose of changing the standardand stigma of behavioral health
(03:25):
care.
And, of course, as mentioned,Dr Wakeham hosts the Endgame
podcast where, as your endgamecoach, he teaches us how to
exist today, expand intotomorrow and create our ultimate
endgame.
And the Endgame podcast iswhere Dr Wakeham and I had that
(03:49):
powerful conversation aboutmanifesting that we've both
referred to that.
We're going to continue today,Dr Wakeham.
Is that a fair introduction?
Is there anything else that youneed to add?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (04:04):
I think that's incredibly fair, Greg.
It's certainly better than Idid for you, so I really
appreciate all the time and theeffort there, but no awesome
introduction.
Exciting for the conversation.
Greg Kuhn (04:14):
Well, as am I.
I got to tell you.
I wrote down a few notesbecause I was getting pretty
excited preparing for our talkto continue, if you will, our
conversation previously.
I want us to take a deep diveinto the biology, the
(04:36):
neurobiology of manifesting and,of course, manifesting better
versions of ourselves and life,which is something of interest
to every viewer and listener whotunes in to manifest the big
stuff.
I will say just to lead into myfirst question with you, Dr
(05:01):
Wakeham, the biology ofmanifesting, I believe, is a
major contributor to the I don'twant to put this in air quotes,
to the Wu status of the subjectmatter, because the biology of
manifesting is really predicatedon our limbic system and, as
(05:26):
every student of neurobiologyknows, our limbic system
comprises what we call oursubconscious.
We call it subconscious for areason it's sub, it is below our
conscious awareness.
And to really set the stage forus, I just want to, at the risk
(05:47):
of oversimplifying it, ourbrain.
We're used to learning about thebrain having three evolutionary
components, if you will thecortex, which is the more modern
, the most modern part of ourbrain.
Our cortex is our thinker andour decider and that when we're,
(06:11):
when we are, havingconversations with ourselves
inside our head when we'retalking to ourselves.
That's our cortex, right, thatis who we most commonly think of
as us.
However, we have other parts ofour brain, the limbic system,
and I primarily focus in on theamygdala, which is a major
(06:34):
component of manifesting ourlife.
Our limbic system, whichcomprises our subconscious, is
actually the part of our brainthat is manifesting our life and
predicated on beliefs that wehave inherited, ways that our
(06:56):
amygdala has learned to look forchange in its effort to keep us
safe and alive.
And as we so, in my view, ourlimbic system manifests our
version of life, manifests ourreality, and then our cortex
makes the best of it.
(07:16):
I say makes the best of itbecause, right, wrong or
indifferent, we all inheritedbeliefs that, as we move into
adulthood, proved to be toolimiting in their ability to
manifest versions of life for us, and that can get pretty
frustrating, to say the least.
(07:37):
We manifest life by defaultbefore we start to go in and
coach and work with oursubconscious, with our amygdala,
but we do not have to manifestlife by default, not anymore
(07:59):
anyway, as more and more peoplelearn and study how we manifest
our life.
So, Dr Waco, my first questionto you is at what point did you
realize that manifestingyourself and your life didn't
(08:21):
have to be done by default, andhow did that work for you?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (08:25):
Yeah, so.
So, first of all, to touch onwhat you've just been speaking
about, there's, there's that isscience, right the science
behind the cortical brain, whichis thought to be our conscious
level, and then the structuresunderneath the cortical brain,
which is the subcortesis, andthat includes the limbic system,
which includes the amygdala andhippocampus, and amygdala is
(08:48):
where we really it really drivesour emotional states and our
memories as it relates toemotions.
And one of the things we knowscientifically is, for instance,
someone who's experienced a bigT or little T trauma, the one
of the areas of the brain, if wewere to image it, that we see
(09:09):
disruption and function is theamygdala.
And so if you think of someonewho has that chronic fight or
flight adrenaline, someone withyour diagnosed potentially PTSD,
that is their subconscious,that is their amygdala, that is
their limbic structures actingagainst them, right, and so they
(09:29):
live their life in thishypervigilant state and they
live their life at the effect ofthat which is around them,
right?
I think, when you boil it downto, both scientifically and
otherwise, how you manifest, howyou, how did I determine that I
wasn't going to be determinedby things in my life or affected
(09:52):
by that around me or, for thatmatter, simply beholden to my
own BS.
You talk about beliefs.
I talk about BS as beliefsystems that I had learned
through, consciously andotherwise, my childhood, my
upbringing, my surroundings, myenvironment, all of my
(10:13):
experiences.
And so the way in which,scientifically, you change, that
is, you work on changing yourmindset, and that involves
separating yourself from theanimal brain, which is the
limbic system, and being able tobring that to your cortex and
understanding that you're notbeholden to things around you.
(10:36):
Right, that no one can make youfeel a certain way.
You choose to feel a certainway about a given stimulus or
event or experience and you cancontrol that.
Right.
And the sooner you realize youcan control your own emotions,
you can control your reaction tothat which is external to you,
(10:58):
and that you don't have to becontrolled by the things outside
of your control, the soonerthat you will get to a mindset
closer to the point ofmanifestation.
Now, that is not that isnecessary.
In my experience, that's notsufficient Meaning understanding
the locus of control is anecessary aspect to shifting
(11:19):
mindset and getting to a pointof manifestation, but those two
things are not directlycorrelative Meaning.
You have to be able to do that.
However, you also have to beable to click down one more
level.
You also have to be able totrain your mind in a different
way.
You have to be able to thinkoutside the box and stretch
(11:40):
beyond, with even traditionalscience would tell you, in order
to get to the point ofmanifestation.
Greg Kuhn (11:49):
Interesting.
When we're talking about thecomponents of the limbic system.
I have come more and more tounderstand that changing the
life, the reality that I'mmanifesting, really comes down
to being able to coach myamygdala and not to get too deep
(12:13):
into the weeds of the biologyhere.
But my understanding is thatthe amygdala has an outer
section, an outer layer calledthe basolateral amygdala, which
is an active learner.
But talk to us.
I mean, you mentioned beliefsand I like how you're
differentiating, while alsospeaking to the connection of
(12:37):
therapeutic processes, ourbeliefs.
I am adamant, when I speakbefore groups of people to let
them know that they are not.
We are not responsible, if youwill, for the bad versions of
life that our beliefs aremanifesting for us, In the sense
(13:01):
that we didn't select thosebeliefs, did we?
We inherited those beliefs, didwe not?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (13:10):
Absolutely.
When you think about again.
I use I always think about allthis in the setting of trauma,
because that's how I firstlearned about dysregulation of
the limbic system, or maybe whenI first really understood
dysregulation of limbic system.
And what we know is if you wereto look at someone's amygdala
(13:31):
and limbic system and thinkabout when could our brain
actually remember something?
And if you look at the science,it's about three years old,
give or take six months.
However, if you had somethingincredibly traumatic happen to
you at one and a half years old,it can't actually still code
(13:52):
and stay coded into your brainat one and a half, even though
scientifically we say three, andso that's a great example of
you have known as a one and ahalf year old heck.
Even as a three year old, youhave very little control as to
what's being deposited into yourbrain, right, you have very
little control as to how youcould maybe shift that
(14:16):
experience and think about it adifferent way or package it in
your brain in a more positivelight, candlely.
You really can't do that atthree and so, to your exact
point, not until you're seven,eight, 10 years old could you
really begin to even scratch thesurface of that capability and
so, for everything that happensto you, until that time it was
(14:40):
bestowed upon you good, bad orugly and now it's part of your
belief system right it is.
You're viewing your worldthrough that lens because it's
the only lens that you know, anda lot of what you know you
didn't go out and ask for, andso if you truly do inherit, now
we can get into epigenetics andwe could go to the I forget the
(15:03):
Stanford professor talking aboutjust free will and how this is
actually multi-generational.
But the point is you do inherit, even in your own experiences,
belief systems that you did notchoose right or that you did not
comprehend or that you didn'tunderstand at the moment in time
(15:23):
.
That happened to you Again, andthat's without going down the
road of epigenetics andgenerational genetics, which
actually there's a lot ofscience and evidence and power
to as well.
So you absolutely view theworld through a lens, with your
own belief systems, many ofwhich you did not choose to do
(15:45):
or choose to have.
Greg Kuhn (15:48):
And correct me if I'm wrong.
Just I guess, to double down onwhat you're saying prior to age
nine 10, we don't even have theability to discern, correct.
I mean we cannot.
A child does not have thecapacity to say gosh, my mom
(16:14):
sure is being an asshole rightnow.
I bet she's had a really badday.
I shouldn't take thatpersonally.
That's not how it works, is it?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (16:22):
No again.
When going back to just thebrain systems, your limbic
system, the subcortive areasdevelop and really finalize
earlier in your life.
Again, these things are encodedand maintained and housed,
whereas your cortical, yourability to discern, your ability
to execute a function, yourability to truly have a mindset
(16:48):
change doesn't fully developuntil your mid-20s and there's a
reason why car insurancecompanies charge you extra until
you're 25.
That's scientific.
I mean, most brains are notfully baked, so to speak, until
you're 25 years old and it'sthose cortical parts, those
(17:08):
higher-order thinking areas,that need more time to develop.
That makes sense.
The animal brain, thereflexatory brain, is something
that is through evolution.
There from the start you haveto know as a five-year-old to
run away from a predator, butyou don't know as a
(17:28):
five-year-old again, that exactthing which is mom's upset.
This isn't really intended tome, this isn't really toward me.
You're just viewing it throughthe same lens as there's a
predator or there's some fear orsome danger.
So you have to be able to dothat at five.
But your ability to trulydiscern and connect and
(17:52):
disconnect comes much later inlife and even then it's always
changing.
We're always learning more,we're always putting different
lenses, we're always editingthat through our own ability to
be in touch with ourselves.
And candidly, greg, as you know, there are many people that are
(18:12):
far beyond 25 that still don'treally have the ability to
discern in a way that gets themwhere they want to go, and
that's a lot of the work I'msure you do which is, even those
who are highly educated, eventhose who have an otherwise
well-developed corticalframework, may still not be good
(18:33):
at understanding externalversus internal understanding,
discerning and really being ableto frame things in a way that
gets them closer to the level ofmanifestation versus depression
and anxiety Right, what we'retalking about here is I treat
every day and that is, those whodon't, who can't, who haven't
(18:57):
been taught or who haven't beenable to make that discernment
and begin to disconnect andreconnect in the right areas.
Greg Kuhn (19:07):
And, of course, I want to say, just for the record
, that when we're speaking aboutmental illness and maladies
that require a medicalintervention, that's not
necessarily, of course, the paththat I'm speaking to on this
(19:30):
podcast we're talking about.
Well, let me put it this wayoften use this example and I'd
like you to speak to this andthe impact of this.
So I am.
I'm a five-year-old,six-year-old, seven-year-old
child and my mother wants me tobe thin.
(19:53):
I'm chubby, kind of husky, youknow whatever the nomenclature
uses to refer to that in apolite way.
My mom has the best ofintentions for me.
She doesn't want me to getteased at school.
She has her own bias againstextra weight, whatever a
combination of factors, but sheis giving me a lot of messages
(20:15):
about needing to eat better,needing to get more exercise,
needing to lose weight, andshe's doing her best to convey
that in a helpful way.
Sometimes she gets frustratedwith me.
She's got her own hangups.
You know, all humans areimperfect.
I would never want to demonizeparents.
I'm one myself and I'm just asprone to do this throughout my
(20:38):
parenting.
But somewhere along the waybecause my mom resorts sometimes
to tough love she certainlydoesn't back down from her
expectations because they'recoming from the best of
intentions, and somewhere alongthe way I quickly the message I
get as a child is that when I'mdisappointing my mom, that's not
(21:02):
okay and that I need to changemyself.
I'm not okay.
I need to be somethingdifferent to please her.
I need to make sure that I amsuitable enough to please
important people in my life.
Ultimately, that's what I takeaway from those interactions.
(21:26):
And now, as an adult and I'm inthe dating world and I get
married and we do those thingsthat so many of us do, I now
have a far different consciousthoughts about my worthiness,
about my, about my desirabilityand my internal value, and
(21:50):
certainly I consciously leaninto wanting an intimate, open,
sharing, fulfilling relationship.
However, because of that beliefthat I inherited inadvertently
from a well-intentioned mom, I,in my amygdala, in my limbic
(22:14):
system, I have this belief thatis running the show that says
Greg, you're not good enough,just on your own.
You've got to please theimportant people in your life.
So I'm now in my relationshipwith my wife.
I am operating on this systemwhere I've constantly got to
(22:39):
prove myself and I've constantlygot to be validated by external
rewards, recognition from mywife that I'm okay.
Well, anybody who's been throughthat kind of a situation
whether whichever of the seatsyou were sitting in you know
that is a nothing but a setupfor resentments, unspoken
(23:02):
expectations, a lot of pain, alot of heartache and,
furthermore, anytime that I'mdependent upon anything outside
of me to feel okay, I've createda bottomless pit because that
will never be satiated.
So here I am as an adult,functioning very capably, and my
(23:26):
conscious thoughts are notgeared toward I'm not good
enough and must be externallyvalidated.
Yet underneath my consciousawareness, that belief is still
running the show and manifestingmy life, and that is why so
(23:50):
many of us or I really shouldask this as a question does that
speak to why we, as adults, canfind life to be so
disappointing, so dispiriting,so frustrating and ultimately
and unfortunately, usually windup blaming ourselves because we
(24:13):
just don't understand what ishappening beneath the surface?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (24:18):
That's exactly I mean the answer is yes, Greg.
The reality of the situation isin that forever spiral.
As I said, you can be wellbeyond 25 and still not really
maybe be in touch with your ownself in a way that puts you in a
position to be successful.
(24:39):
That you're in thisnever-ending doom loop based on
belief systems you inherited orthat were thrust upon you
consciously or subconsciouslyand you've not taken a step back
and a breath to think throughthat.
So that goes really deep andthere's a lot there, and
(25:00):
obviously, again as apsychiatrist, that's when it
gets to a spectrum level of zeroto 180, and once you cast the
90 degree mark now we're talkingabout maybe you're seeing me in
a different capacity, but thereality is it is a continuum, it
is a spectrum and I thinkthere's a lot.
I mean, even just that kind ofline of thinking can cause a lot
(25:23):
of anxiety and angst, and so Ithink the most important thing
someone can do and what, as partof my tagline to exist today.
I do firmly believe in the ideaof mindset and in order to get
into the right mindset, you haveto be capable of taking a
breath and you have to becapable of being able to look
(25:45):
within and examine these thingsright, and so the most
intelligent people in the worldmay not have the ability to be
in touch with their own feelings, and that will put them at a
disadvantage.
If you could take a breath andlook within whether that's
meditation, mindfulnessexercises if there's a pattern
you can establish or you cantake a breath and realize, then
(26:08):
you can begin to do somethingabout that right.
And that might be somethingthat has to be practiced and
take time and again.
You're not going to just gofrom someone who's lived their
whole life with thesesubconscious belief systems
who's suddenly not going to dothat right.
It's like you just wave a magicwand or snap a finger and all
(26:28):
that goes away.
But if you can't even take abreath and begin to realize that
those patterns exist or beginto realize that they're
disempowering behaviors orbelief systems, then you'll
never get there right.
So the first step is to, as Isay, exist today and I know you
believe this heavily too whichis you have to be able to
(26:51):
meditate, be mindful and take abreath and begin to analyze your
own life and your own beliefsystems and your own processes,
so you can eventually get to thepoint.
As I said, there are pieces ofthis that are necessary for
manifestation, but many of themare not sufficient in and of
themselves.
(27:11):
Right, and step one is you haveto at least be able to be in
touch with your feelings andunderstand your own patterns and
get out of your own way, and ifyou can't even do that, you'll
never get to the point ofmanifestation.
But yeah, so go back to youroriginal question.
That's 100% true.
It's a never-ending do-loop andfor me and those I mentor or
(27:33):
coach, that is where you have toget into some sort of
mindfulness practice ormeditation, or you have to be
able to calm the mind so you cansee deeper within yourself and
begin the process of a mindshift in an eventual
manifestation.
Greg Kuhn (27:50):
I love that, Dr Wakeham.
So I let's take this streetlevel for our viewers.
I am walking through life.
I inherited limiting beliefslimiting, but let's define this.
I say limiting beliefs, meaningthe beliefs that are currently
(28:15):
reside in my subconscious areproving themselves incapable of
manifesting a version of lifethat is aligned enough with my
desires for it.
So I'm cruising through lifeand I have these limiting
beliefs and they are manifestingdissatisfying, frustrating,
(28:35):
unfulfilling versions of life.
I tend to notice theseunfulfilling versions of life in
the most important parts of mylife, the parts of my life that
are just laden with opportunityfor fulfillment, like
relationships and career andcommunity engagement,
spirituality, parenting, thosesorts of things.
(28:56):
It can almost seem like mysubconscious is working against
me, it's my enemy, because itdoesn't care about my happiness,
it cares about my safety, itcares about keeping me alive,
and so its job is to monitor forany sort of change, any sort of
(29:17):
deviation from what it knows,and it doesn't matter whether
that change is of a positivenature or a negative nature.
Any change sounds the alarm.
Well, so am I imprisoned by mysubconscious.
Well, what I have found and I'dlove you to speak to this, I
(29:40):
may not have a intercom.
That's a pipeline, directconnection with my subconscious,
hence it's called subconscious.
However, I can see shadows ofwhat's in there in every moment
(30:01):
of my life.
And to take a step back to whatyou were talking about a moment
ago so powerfully, my feelings,the feelings that my life, my
reality elicit, are breadcrumbtrails back to my belief systems
(30:23):
, and painful feelings arebreadcrumb trails back to
limiting beliefs.
My feelings are a feedback loop.
Is that?
How have you come to viewfeelings and how do you utilize
feelings?
Of course, and I will say thisbefore I turn it back over my
(30:47):
work has often drawn praise fromtherapists.
I've heard from therapiststhrough the years because I am
so adamant about feeling andprocessing our emotions.
For one thing, we can't followthat breadcrumb trail without
processing them.
We need that information, don'twe?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (31:10):
Yes.
So feelings are your feedbackloop and that's where, as I said
earlier, there's actuallysomething called alexithymia,
and alexithymia, by definition,is this inability to be in touch
with your feelings.
So if I were to ask you howyou're feeling today, you would
say I'm feeling just fine.
Meanwhile, you have this frownon your face and you have a tear
(31:33):
rolling down your eye.
So this emotional disconnectand actually this can go down a
whole other rabbit hole of EQand emotional intelligence, and
that's both internal andexternal too, how you perceive
others and yourself.
But the way in which you feelabout a situation can absolutely
be the breadcrumb back to alimiting belief, and so when I
(31:56):
talk about taking a breath or amoment or meditating or being
mindful, it is around the ideaof examining or processing why
did that thing cause thisreaction?
Why did that situation or thatcomment or that TV show,
whatever it is, point to anexternal something?
(32:17):
Why did this external somethingmake me feel this way?
Because that feeling is afeedback loop, it is a clue back
down the road of maybe alimiting belief that exists and,
by the way, it's also okay tohave a fear.
I mean, if there is somethinghappening around you that brings
(32:37):
you fear, that emotion may bethe right emotion.
But if it's disempowering you,if it's not serving you, if it's
coming up and other peopledon't see it or other people
aren't feeling that, that's anopportunity for you to take a
step, take a breath and examinewhy did this cause that?
(32:58):
And the sooner you can connectto your emotions, the sooner you
can understand the way thingsare making you feel, the more
likely you are to go down theright path of positive mindset
shifting and again, ultimatelymanifestation.
But it is a feedback loop.
It does point us in thedirection of some clues and if
you never follow the clues oryou're never doing anything
(33:21):
about that, you will continue tohave this never ending new loop
.
You will continue to feel thatway when you shouldn't, and
you'll continue, which willdisempower you and not serve you
, which will lead to voids andinfelings and voids and purpose
and voids and happiness, whichagain just becomes an ever
(33:42):
ending loop.
So that just enhances yoursubconscious, that just enhances
the next continues to feed intothat.
And so the sooner you canidentify it and try to break
that cycle and then do somethingdifferent about it, the more
likely you'll be successful.
Greg Kuhn (33:59):
Yes, absolutely.
I listening to you speak.
You reminded me Dr Wakeham of.
I understand I haven't been tomedical school, but my
understanding is it's an oldjoke that the amygdala controls
the four F's fight, flight,freeze and sex.
(34:23):
So, and when we let's talk aboutwhat, in terms of manifesting
our version of reality, ouramygdala senses things that are
below our conscious awareness.
Our amygdala, for example, cansmell the difference between
(34:43):
sweat that a human makes byexerting themselves and sweat
that a human makes becausethey're scared.
And the amygdala smells that,that hormonal difference, in
four milliseconds, so way fasterthan our conscious mind, is
(35:08):
sensing and interpreting.
And the amygdala is also usingthat information, using its own
sensory information, primarilyabove, if you will, taking
precedence over the conscioussensory awareness that we are
sharing with the amygdala.
So my understanding is in thisand I want to use this as a
(35:34):
transition into now how do webegin to coach and I know you've
been talking, you've beenspeaking to that throughout the
conversation.
My understanding is that myamygdala it's not usually wrong
in what it senses.
It definitely identifies change.
(35:55):
It changes appropriately andaccurately.
What it's often wrong about,however, is the degree of the
threat, and I heard you speakingto that just a moment ago,
because when we don't have arapport, what I find, that most
(36:23):
often and unfortunately thisgets taught a lot in law of
attraction circles and anotherself-help circles A pretty
common reaction, consciouslyusually for humans, when they
are receiving that realitymanifestation of an overreactive
(36:47):
amygdala, is to shout theamygdala down, to try to shut it
up.
Shut it down and right wrong orindifferent.
One of the most common ways todo that is utilizing positive
thinking as a way to cram a newunderstanding into the limbic
(37:11):
system, and that simply doesn'twork as a change agent in those
kinds of situations.
It's rather limited, is it not?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (37:23):
It is.
I think, when we talk aboutyour ability to manage your
limiting beliefs and youramygdala as I said earlier, the
amygdala we're spending a littlebit of time bashing it, but the
reality is it's a critical andsurvival mechanism and, to your
point, it can sense and processthings.
Your whole limbic system willsense things in milliseconds and
(37:47):
your it goes.
A good example is you can think.
I think it's four times fasterthan you can talk.
So and your talking is actuallypart of your cortical functions
.
So as you just get deeper intothe brain, deeper into under the
layers, the speed at whichthings can be sensed and spoken
and thought all change and theyare dramatically different.
(38:10):
However, in my experience andwhat I believe is, the more you
train your cortical brain, themore that.
Just like if you're going to godo some sort of Ironman contest
, if you just walk out on thecourse and you've never lifted a
weight or done any swimtraining or your chances of
(38:34):
finishing in A or slim the none,your chances of doing anything
successfully with it arecertainly zero.
And so it's all about thattraining.
And so if you prepare yourcortical brain, if you prepare
your executive function, yourdiscernment, if you can train
that over time with meditationand mindfulness and self
(38:54):
reflection and internal reportbuilding, then even when the
amygdala senses something thatmight be a threat, your brain,
your cortical brain, can atleast filter it a bit, not
necessarily tamp it down.
Again, the amygdala is not a badthing.
Your limbic system is not bad.
Your limbic system just needsthe filter, it needs the
(39:15):
filtration.
And so the more you can trainyour cortical brain to be both
aware of but also respond tostimuli and a more positive
light, the less likely somethingthat wasn't negative doesn't
get into your amygdala and startcausing that fear reaction.
(39:36):
Right, you should still jam onthe break.
We need to jam on a break.
That's your limbic systemworking.
But you might not need to jamon it as hard if you had trained
your brain around the idea ofwhat is stopping an appropriate
amount of time being, and that'sall around your cortical brain.
So, being prepared, training itup, investing in your cortical
(40:00):
brain, in your higher thoughtorder brain, to be that filter
for your limbic system, becauseit will sense quicker and react
quicker if you don't do somework in advance.
Greg Kuhn (40:15):
I'd like to share with you my number one way of
doing what you're describing asa manifestor when I notice that
I am manifesting a version ofreality that is either very
frustrating or very unfulfillingpainful for me, and I'll give
(40:39):
an example of this.
I was getting ready to go for arun.
I'm a pretty avid runner andthis was a couple months ago.
I was out in the garage gettingready and I noticed that I was
feeling just terrible about mybusiness.
Manifest the Big Stuff based onsome feedback that I had gotten
recently, the kind ofdispiriting affect where I felt
(41:06):
like I was a failure, I wantedto quit, I wanted to chuck it
and run away, I wanted to hidewhatnot.
Well, I have taught myself andI talk about this often to tell.
In situations like that, whereI'm manifesting that kind of a
reality, I tell myself the bestfeeling, believable story
(41:31):
possible For it to be bestfeeling.
I start by acknowledging thefeelings that I'm getting.
I start by and in thatsituation.
So I started by saying, yeah, Ihave gotten some really
disappointing news.
I absolutely wanted to getdifferent feedback.
(41:52):
I'm very disappointed by that.
I'm unhappy about it.
It's scary to me.
All those things are true.
You are absolutely right,amigdala.
All that stuff has occurred andI don't feel good about it.
And then, to make the storybelievable, I softly, if you
will, without trying to shoutthe fear down and the painful
(42:15):
feelings down I begin to soothemyself by bringing up authentic
engagement and experiences thatI've had.
For example, in my garage, Isaid while all that is true and
there's no denying it it's alsotrue that Rome wasn't built
(42:35):
overnight.
That's absolutely true.
It's also true that I'm workingvery hard and that the missteps
I've taken weren't doneintentionally, nor were they
done out of lack of attention todetails.
And it's also true that I'vehad successful experiences and
(42:56):
plenty of them in the past.
It's also true that I'mcontinuing to work hard and that
I'm learning and growing andchanging.
It's also true that the realityI manifest, the best use of it
isn't to define me but to informme.
Now, none of this stuff changesthe disappointing nature of what
(43:17):
has occurred.
However, it is reasonable forme to say that, while
disappointed, this may not bethe end of the world, and
ultimately, I might even lookback on this and be grateful for
the pathways it opened and thewillingness that it brought to
(43:39):
me and things of this naturethat I know.
I've often experienced whatthat does for me and what that
did for me in the garage.
It doesn't instantly change myreality, like a genie granting a
wish and suddenly there's atreasure chest in front of me
full of gold, but it completelychanges me and since I am the
(44:02):
source of what I manifest, I'msure it wouldn't surprise you to
have me share that.
As I left the garage and went onthe run, I hadn't changed the
base reality of the news thatI'd received and that material
feedback, but I was alreadybeginning to see and understand
(44:26):
opportunities right in front ofmy nose that were there all
along, but I could not see andunderstand them from my previous
perspective.
And that works very well for me.
What are some of your top toolsthat you yourself use in
addition to teach?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (44:48):
Yeah, so I love that.
I love what you just said.
It's the reframing and therestructuring and again, both
things can be true to your point.
You can have this feedback andthis situation and this history
of success and so on, so forth.
I've always learned and mymentor always taught me, and
(45:11):
what I teach others is Is thepower of your life really comes
down to the power of thequestions that you ask, and
whether that's to yourself or toothers.
And so, in that same you knowmindset or environment or
situation, one of the things Iwould ask myself or I would
coach someone else to ask is andbasically, what you did, but
(45:34):
this idea of what's great aboutit, right?
So, yes, there's this thing andit's not so great and I'm
feeling this certain way, butjust the question of what's
great about it, right?
So, like a good example couldbe, I Wrecked my car right, and
so that's obviously negative,that's bad, that's all, all
(45:55):
insurance and all the money andall my car is going to devalue
and but just take again goingback to take a breath, take a
step and what's great about this?
Well, I'm not life-threatening,you know, my life wasn't
threatened.
I'm was able to walk away fromthe situation or, hey, I really
wanted a new car anyway.
This is an opportunity to go getthat or just that one simple
(46:16):
question, to break the negativeFeedback loop and that limbic
system taking control.
That one question could go sofar and shifting your mindset
towards a positive and to yourpoint.
Think about how the rest of theday, you know, would go if you
were able to just take thatbreath and ask that question and
answer it Truthfully, right.
(46:37):
I mean, you can't ask yourselfthe question and then say a bum
bug like, and you know, keepgoing down the negative, truly
trying to find the positive ornot.
Try, you know, do or do not.
There is no try right.
Find the positive in thatsituation and it'll serve you so
well in your future, regardlessof what it is you're going to
(46:57):
take on or what it is you findpurpose or derive fulfillment
from.
Ask yourself powerful questionsand you'll get powerful results
.
Greg Kuhn (47:06):
That's a great seque, Dr.
Wakim.
I'm keeping my eye on the timehere.
I've got a really importantquestion that I want you to
answer momentarily.
But first, something just asimportant Talk to us about the
ways that you work with people,the ways that you help people.
(47:27):
What are some of the servicesthat you provide and what are
the best ways for people toengage with you and get in touch
with you?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (47:37):
Yeah well, great Thanks for that setup there.
So, as you alluded to at thetop of the hour here I go by the
end game coach.
Really, that was born out ofwhen you're going through my bio
, when I merged in with shortcapital, I had at the time six
outpatient group practices Ideveloped, and when I did that
(47:58):
in going through the diligenceprocess I had a hundred plus
employees.
I had built this from theground up and I lived my life by
the idea if you don't know whatyou don't know.
And I was so shocked at what Ididn't know going into the
diligence I knew my business somuch as I understood kind of
what I was getting myselfinvolved in.
And I found myself in thatprocess really being really
(48:23):
asking myself like where can Ifind more help?
Why is there not someone I canturn to?
I don't have a mentor forsomething like this.
And that's really where the endgame coach bore out of.
It's this idea of Kind oftactically, the idea of how you
might develop your own end game,both through setting up a
business, developing thatbusiness, growing that business
(48:46):
and then maybe eventuallyselling that business.
So this idea of an end gamebeing some sort of sale or
transition of your business.
But, as you've heard me saybefore, I'm also a firm believer
that there's the professionalbut also the personal side, and
so, as a psychiatrist, assomeone who believes heavily in
mindset, I do work withindividuals or groups around
(49:08):
Culture and communication andmindset shifting and just really
setting up a successfulecosystem of the mind so you can
even be a successfulentrepreneur, so you can even
get to a possible end game, andso that's my backstory for the
end game coach.
You can go to endgamecoach.
As an example, I have aFacebook group that we've
(49:30):
recently started, called the endgame club.
That really brings like mindedindividuals together, spirited
business entrepreneurs who mightneed help with how do you set
up this thing, or what is duediligence look like, or what's
the best business type orstructure for my new venture.
So it is, you know, focuses alot on business, but it also
(49:53):
focuses on mindset, focuses onhow you put yourself in a
position to be successful.
So, whether it's through theYouTube channel, my podcast and
game coach podcast, or theFacebook group, would be really
great ways to engage and we'llput those obviously in the show
notes here too, but that's howyou would engage and I do again
(50:15):
offer group coaching, individualcoaching, mentorship, whether
it's on the business side or theperson side.
Greg Kuhn (50:23):
Wonderful, and that is also a great segue, because I
can't end our conversationwithout asking you to speak
directly to the audience.
Imagine that I am a client ofyours and although, of course,
people aren't coming to yousaying,.
(50:43):
r Dundefined D S S Wakeham,teach me how to manifest my life
better that may not be thenomenclature that they're
bringing to you.
What do you say to me?
I'm coming to you and I needyour coaching.
Obviously, there are parts ofmy life, whether it's my
business or things related to it, that aren't going the way that
(51:06):
I want them to, and I'veprobably gotten myself into a
pretty dispirited place,frustrated place.
Undoubtedly, I've been trying alot of different things.
I've been trying my best.
I've probably sought out experthelp.
I've read books, watchedYouTube videos, talked to
(51:27):
friends whatnot?
Done my best to manifest thispart of my life the way I truly
want.
I've reached a point where I'mready and willing to be coached,
which we both know.
I make sure that I'm activelycoached all the time.
It's such an importantcomponent to a successful life.
This person is not in a goodplace and they're coming to you.
(51:52):
Where do you start them?
What are the most importantthings to set somebody onto a
better path to help them get andstay on that better path.
Dr. Ryan Wakim (52:09):
Yeah, really the crux of this whole conversation
, which is we have to first diginto almost a bit of a discovery
as to why, maybe why they don'tthink they're successful or why
they haven't yet beensuccessful, and where they want
to go.
So, again, asking powerfulquestions, getting to the pain
(52:31):
points, getting to the pleasurepoints and understanding what
drives you.
Why do you want to do this?
What results are you lookingfor?
Why are you looking for thoseresults and what's not serving
you?
So I do, although, again, a lotof what I put out there has
more to do with just thetactical business side.
You can't be a successfulentrepreneur if you haven't
(52:55):
built from a strong foundation,and to me as a psychiatrist,
that has to be a foundation ofan inappropriate and positive
mindset.
And what I often see inindividuals who are not as
successful as they want to be orwho really want to do more but
they just can't get out of theirown way to do it, is that they
(53:16):
haven't yet done the existingtoday part right.
And that's actually why I sayexist today so you can expand
tomorrow and then create theultimate end game, because if
you don't, if you build upon acracked foundation, the chances
that you're not going to turnout being the leaning tower of
Pisa are pretty small.
So you have to start with thebasics, you have to get your
(53:37):
mindset in the right spot andfrom there good things will come
.
And that goes to themanifestation piece.
Yes, there's mentorshipinvolved with just changing your
inflection point and yourgrowth strategy, and I've been
there.
I've done that, so I'm able tohelp you on truly the business
aspects as well.
But again, you often have tostart with that positive
(54:01):
foundation and ecosystem so thatyou can eventually get there.
And I don't take that lightly,nor do I think you can go where
you want to go or be the bestversion of yourself, unless you
put that work in on the frontend.
Greg Kuhn (54:15):
So having a target, meeting yourself where you are
and building a foundation to gofrom there and making sure that
all of those things areauthentic, Based on our own
internal litmus test.
We don't want to go through themotions.
We don't want to slap smileyface stickers on top of empty
(54:39):
gas gauges, do we?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (54:41):
Correct.
Yeah, I'm a big Simon Sinek.
Find your why.
Like, if you want to go, do X,if you want to have this goal,
let's explore why and let's makesure that's aligned with
yourself and your family and allthe things you value, like what
are your core mission, visionand values, so that we can shoot
for the stars, but do it in away that aligns with who you
(55:03):
want to be as a person.
Greg Kuhn (55:06):
And that brings us to a wonderful conclusion.
I really want to thank you, DrWakeham, for your time and for
popping the hood for us andlaying it all out there.
I know we made good on ourintention to create something of
tremendous value and I reallyappreciate you being willing to
(55:27):
do that with us and for us today.
Dr. Ryan Wakim (55:31):
Yeah, great, it was a pleasure.
Both these conversations havebeen truly amazing and look
forward to a continuedrelationship with you.
We'll have to work together onwhat manifesting that will look
like, but very excited tocontinue the conversation over
time and super appreciative foryou having me on your podcast.
Greg Kuhn (55:49):
Well, very much reciprocated.
And in closing, I want toremind folks, if you haven't
joined my Facebook manifestinggroup, that's a great place to
start, and why haven't you Goahead and rectify that?
Today it is called manifest thebig stuff, with Greg Kuhn
creating our realities together.
(56:09):
That's a great place to be sothat you can stay abreast and
stay in touch and hear all thelatest.
I can't think of anything morevaluable for you to share with
me and with Dr Wakeham then yourtime.
You're spending that with usright now and that is not
something we take for granted.
(56:30):
I always want to honor that andI definitely want to thank you
for sharing your time with us.
So until we get a chance tomeet up again and hopefully that
will be very soon Keepbelieving and keep manifesting.
Hello everybody, so glad that you are here with us
again at Manifested Big Stufffor another life-changing
conversation, this time with asuper special guest that I am so
excited to share with you.
I've really been lookingforward to this conversation.
(00:32):
We are welcoming Dr Ryan Wakimto the podcast to have a
paradigm-shattering discussionabout manifesting better
versions of life.
Dr Wakeham, please say hello tofolks who are joining in.
Dr. Ryan Wakim (00:52):
Hey, greg, thanks a lot.
Yeah, I'm Dr Ryan Wakeham.
I really appreciate you makingthe time to have this
conversation.
We had an incredible one on mypodcast and I've also really
been looking forward to thefollow-on to that and digging
deeper into manifestation andall the things that will come
with that.
So thanks for having me.
Greg Kuhn (01:14):
Wonderful.
I, of course, am Greg Kuhn.
I'm a manifesting coach, whichmeans that I help people turn up
their manifesting power.
It's one of my very favoritethings to do in life, and one of
the ways that I do that is bybringing you life-changing
(01:35):
podcasts.
Today's guest, I want to tellyou a little bit about Dr
Wakeham, and I think you'll geta sense of why I'm so excited to
continue the conversation thathe and I started on his podcast
last month.
Dr Ryan Wakeham is a boardcertified psychiatrist and he is
(01:56):
an entrepreneur.
He was driven early in hiscareer to expand access to
life-changing behavioral healthcare, and he has a passion for,
and an expertise in, thesubspecialty of, interventional
psychiatry.
Here are some examples ofinterventional psychiatry the
(02:20):
use of ketamine and otherpsychedelics, transcranial
magnetic stimulation andEEG-driven treatment planning.
Now Dr Wakeham got his MD fromWest Virginia University.
He also completed his residencytraining there, where he
finished as the chief residentin 2014.
(02:42):
Dr Wakeham co-founded and servedas the CEO of a
wellness-informed multi-statehealthcare system called
Transformations.
In 2021, transformationssuccessfully merged with Shore
Capital's outpatient mentalhealth platform, and now Dr
(03:03):
Wakeham sits as the acting chiefmedical officer of the
Transformations Care Network,where he develops strategic
clinical and growth-orientedinitiatives, all infused with a
purpose of changing the standardand stigma of behavioral health
(03:25):
care.
And, of course, as mentioned,Dr Wakeham hosts the Endgame
podcast where, as your endgamecoach, he teaches us how to
exist today, expand intotomorrow and create our ultimate
endgame.
And the Endgame podcast iswhere Dr Wakeham and I had that
(03:49):
powerful conversation aboutmanifesting that we've both
referred to that.
We're going to continue today,Dr Wakeham.
Is that a fair introduction?
Is there anything else that youneed to add?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (04:04):
I think that's incredibly fair, Greg.
It's certainly better than Idid for you, so I really
appreciate all the time and theeffort there, but no awesome
introduction.
Exciting for the conversation.
Greg Kuhn (04:14):
Well, as am I.
I got to tell you.
I wrote down a few notesbecause I was getting pretty
excited preparing for our talkto continue, if you will, our
conversation previously.
I want us to take a deep diveinto the biology, the
(04:36):
neurobiology of manifesting and,of course, manifesting better
versions of ourselves and life,which is something of interest
to every viewer and listener whotunes in to manifest the big
stuff.
I will say just to lead into myfirst question with you, Dr
(05:01):
Wakeham, the biology ofmanifesting, I believe, is a
major contributor to the I don'twant to put this in air quotes,
to the Wu status of the subjectmatter, because the biology of
manifesting is really predicatedon our limbic system and, as
(05:26):
every student of neurobiologyknows, our limbic system
comprises what we call oursubconscious.
We call it subconscious for areason it's sub, it is below our
conscious awareness.
And to really set the stage forus, I just want to, at the risk
(05:47):
of oversimplifying it, ourbrain.
We're used to learning about thebrain having three evolutionary
components, if you will thecortex, which is the more modern
, the most modern part of ourbrain.
Our cortex is our thinker andour decider and that when we're,
(06:11):
when we are, havingconversations with ourselves
inside our head when we'retalking to ourselves.
That's our cortex, right, thatis who we most commonly think of
as us.
However, we have other parts ofour brain, the limbic system,
and I primarily focus in on theamygdala, which is a major
(06:34):
component of manifesting ourlife.
Our limbic system, whichcomprises our subconscious, is
actually the part of our brainthat is manifesting our life and
predicated on beliefs that wehave inherited, ways that our
(06:56):
amygdala has learned to look forchange in its effort to keep us
safe and alive.
And as we so, in my view, ourlimbic system manifests our
version of life, manifests ourreality, and then our cortex
makes the best of it.
(07:16):
I say makes the best of itbecause, right, wrong or
indifferent, we all inheritedbeliefs that, as we move into
adulthood, proved to be toolimiting in their ability to
manifest versions of life for us, and that can get pretty
frustrating, to say the least.
(07:37):
We manifest life by defaultbefore we start to go in and
coach and work with oursubconscious, with our amygdala,
but we do not have to manifestlife by default, not anymore
(07:59):
anyway, as more and more peoplelearn and study how we manifest
our life.
So, Dr Waco, my first questionto you is at what point did you
realize that manifestingyourself and your life didn't
(08:21):
have to be done by default, andhow did that work for you?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (08:25):
Yeah, so.
So, first of all, to touch onwhat you've just been speaking
about, there's, there's that isscience, right the science
behind the cortical brain, whichis thought to be our conscious
level, and then the structuresunderneath the cortical brain,
which is the subcortesis, andthat includes the limbic system,
which includes the amygdala andhippocampus, and amygdala is
(08:48):
where we really it really drivesour emotional states and our
memories as it relates toemotions.
And one of the things we knowscientifically is, for instance,
someone who's experienced a bigT or little T trauma, the one
of the areas of the brain, if wewere to image it, that we see
(09:09):
disruption and function is theamygdala.
And so if you think of someonewho has that chronic fight or
flight adrenaline, someone withyour diagnosed potentially PTSD,
that is their subconscious,that is their amygdala, that is
their limbic structures actingagainst them, right, and so they
(09:29):
live their life in thishypervigilant state and they
live their life at the effect ofthat which is around them,
right?
I think, when you boil it downto, both scientifically and
otherwise, how you manifest, howyou, how did I determine that I
wasn't going to be determinedby things in my life or affected
(09:52):
by that around me or, for thatmatter, simply beholden to my
own BS.
You talk about beliefs.
I talk about BS as beliefsystems that I had learned
through, consciously andotherwise, my childhood, my
upbringing, my surroundings, myenvironment, all of my
(10:13):
experiences.
And so the way in which,scientifically, you change, that
is, you work on changing yourmindset, and that involves
separating yourself from theanimal brain, which is the
limbic system, and being able tobring that to your cortex and
understanding that you're notbeholden to things around you.
(10:36):
Right, that no one can make youfeel a certain way.
You choose to feel a certainway about a given stimulus or
event or experience and you cancontrol that.
Right.
And the sooner you realize youcan control your own emotions,
you can control your reaction tothat which is external to you,
(10:58):
and that you don't have to becontrolled by the things outside
of your control, the soonerthat you will get to a mindset
closer to the point ofmanifestation.
Now, that is not that isnecessary.
In my experience, that's notsufficient Meaning understanding
the locus of control is anecessary aspect to shifting
(11:19):
mindset and getting to a pointof manifestation, but those two
things are not directlycorrelative Meaning.
You have to be able to do that.
However, you also have to beable to click down one more
level.
You also have to be able totrain your mind in a different
way.
You have to be able to thinkoutside the box and stretch
(11:40):
beyond, with even traditionalscience would tell you, in order
to get to the point ofmanifestation.
Greg Kuhn (11:49):
Interesting.
When we're talking about thecomponents of the limbic system.
I have come more and more tounderstand that changing the
life, the reality that I'mmanifesting, really comes down
to being able to coach myamygdala and not to get too deep
(12:13):
into the weeds of the biologyhere.
But my understanding is thatthe amygdala has an outer
section, an outer layer calledthe basolateral amygdala, which
is an active learner.
But talk to us.
I mean, you mentioned beliefsand I like how you're
differentiating, while alsospeaking to the connection of
(12:37):
therapeutic processes, ourbeliefs.
I am adamant, when I speakbefore groups of people to let
them know that they are not.
We are not responsible, if youwill, for the bad versions of
life that our beliefs aremanifesting for us, In the sense
(13:01):
that we didn't select thosebeliefs, did we?
We inherited those beliefs, didwe not?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (13:10):
Absolutely.
When you think about again.
I use I always think about allthis in the setting of trauma,
because that's how I firstlearned about dysregulation of
the limbic system, or maybe whenI first really understood
dysregulation of limbic system.
And what we know is if you wereto look at someone's amygdala
(13:31):
and limbic system and thinkabout when could our brain
actually remember something?
And if you look at the science,it's about three years old,
give or take six months.
However, if you had somethingincredibly traumatic happen to
you at one and a half years old,it can't actually still code
(13:52):
and stay coded into your brainat one and a half, even though
scientifically we say three, andso that's a great example of
you have known as a one and ahalf year old heck.
Even as a three year old, youhave very little control as to
what's being deposited into yourbrain, right, you have very
little control as to how youcould maybe shift that
(14:16):
experience and think about it adifferent way or package it in
your brain in a more positivelight, candlely.
You really can't do that atthree and so, to your exact
point, not until you're seven,eight, 10 years old could you
really begin to even scratch thesurface of that capability and
so, for everything that happensto you, until that time it was
(14:40):
bestowed upon you good, bad orugly and now it's part of your
belief system right it is.
You're viewing your worldthrough that lens because it's
the only lens that you know, anda lot of what you know you
didn't go out and ask for, andso if you truly do inherit, now
we can get into epigenetics andwe could go to the I forget the
(15:03):
Stanford professor talking aboutjust free will and how this is
actually multi-generational.
But the point is you do inherit, even in your own experiences,
belief systems that you did notchoose right or that you did not
comprehend or that you didn'tunderstand at the moment in time
(15:23):
.
That happened to you Again, andthat's without going down the
road of epigenetics andgenerational genetics, which
actually there's a lot ofscience and evidence and power
to as well.
So you absolutely view theworld through a lens, with your
own belief systems, many ofwhich you did not choose to do
(15:45):
or choose to have.
Greg Kuhn (15:48):
And correct me if I'm wrong.
Just I guess, to double down onwhat you're saying prior to age
nine 10, we don't even have theability to discern, correct.
I mean we cannot.
A child does not have thecapacity to say gosh, my mom
(16:14):
sure is being an asshole rightnow.
I bet she's had a really badday.
I shouldn't take thatpersonally.
That's not how it works, is it?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (16:22):
No again.
When going back to just thebrain systems, your limbic
system, the subcortive areasdevelop and really finalize
earlier in your life.
Again, these things are encodedand maintained and housed,
whereas your cortical, yourability to discern, your ability
to execute a function, yourability to truly have a mindset
(16:48):
change doesn't fully developuntil your mid-20s and there's a
reason why car insurancecompanies charge you extra until
you're 25.
That's scientific.
I mean, most brains are notfully baked, so to speak, until
you're 25 years old and it'sthose cortical parts, those
(17:08):
higher-order thinking areas,that need more time to develop.
That makes sense.
The animal brain, thereflexatory brain, is something
that is through evolution.
There from the start you haveto know as a five-year-old to
run away from a predator, butyou don't know as a
(17:28):
five-year-old again, that exactthing which is mom's upset.
This isn't really intended tome, this isn't really toward me.
You're just viewing it throughthe same lens as there's a
predator or there's some fear orsome danger.
So you have to be able to dothat at five.
But your ability to trulydiscern and connect and
(17:52):
disconnect comes much later inlife and even then it's always
changing.
We're always learning more,we're always putting different
lenses, we're always editingthat through our own ability to
be in touch with ourselves.
And candidly, greg, as you know, there are many people that are
(18:12):
far beyond 25 that still don'treally have the ability to
discern in a way that gets themwhere they want to go, and
that's a lot of the work I'msure you do which is, even those
who are highly educated, eventhose who have an otherwise
well-developed corticalframework, may still not be good
(18:33):
at understanding externalversus internal understanding,
discerning and really being ableto frame things in a way that
gets them closer to the level ofmanifestation versus depression
and anxiety Right, what we'retalking about here is I treat
every day and that is, those whodon't, who can't, who haven't
(18:57):
been taught or who haven't beenable to make that discernment
and begin to disconnect andreconnect in the right areas.
Greg Kuhn (19:07):
And, of course, I want to say, just for the record
, that when we're speaking aboutmental illness and maladies
that require a medicalintervention, that's not
necessarily, of course, the paththat I'm speaking to on this
(19:30):
podcast we're talking about.
Well, let me put it this wayoften use this example and I'd
like you to speak to this andthe impact of this.
So I am.
I'm a five-year-old,six-year-old, seven-year-old
child and my mother wants me tobe thin.
(19:53):
I'm chubby, kind of husky, youknow whatever the nomenclature
uses to refer to that in apolite way.
My mom has the best ofintentions for me.
She doesn't want me to getteased at school.
She has her own bias againstextra weight, whatever a
combination of factors, but sheis giving me a lot of messages
(20:15):
about needing to eat better,needing to get more exercise,
needing to lose weight, andshe's doing her best to convey
that in a helpful way.
Sometimes she gets frustratedwith me.
She's got her own hangups.
You know, all humans areimperfect.
I would never want to demonizeparents.
I'm one myself and I'm just asprone to do this throughout my
(20:38):
parenting.
But somewhere along the waybecause my mom resorts sometimes
to tough love she certainlydoesn't back down from her
expectations because they'recoming from the best of
intentions, and somewhere alongthe way I quickly the message I
get as a child is that when I'mdisappointing my mom, that's not
(21:02):
okay and that I need to changemyself.
I'm not okay.
I need to be somethingdifferent to please her.
I need to make sure that I amsuitable enough to please
important people in my life.
Ultimately, that's what I takeaway from those interactions.
(21:26):
And now, as an adult and I'm inthe dating world and I get
married and we do those thingsthat so many of us do, I now
have a far different consciousthoughts about my worthiness,
about my, about my desirabilityand my internal value, and
(21:50):
certainly I consciously leaninto wanting an intimate, open,
sharing, fulfilling relationship.
However, because of that beliefthat I inherited inadvertently
from a well-intentioned mom, I,in my amygdala, in my limbic
(22:14):
system, I have this belief thatis running the show that says
Greg, you're not good enough,just on your own.
You've got to please theimportant people in your life.
So I'm now in my relationshipwith my wife.
I am operating on this systemwhere I've constantly got to
(22:39):
prove myself and I've constantlygot to be validated by external
rewards, recognition from mywife that I'm okay.
Well, anybody who's been throughthat kind of a situation
whether whichever of the seatsyou were sitting in you know
that is a nothing but a setupfor resentments, unspoken
(23:02):
expectations, a lot of pain, alot of heartache and,
furthermore, anytime that I'mdependent upon anything outside
of me to feel okay, I've createda bottomless pit because that
will never be satiated.
So here I am as an adult,functioning very capably, and my
(23:26):
conscious thoughts are notgeared toward I'm not good
enough and must be externallyvalidated.
Yet underneath my consciousawareness, that belief is still
running the show and manifestingmy life, and that is why so
(23:50):
many of us or I really shouldask this as a question does that
speak to why we, as adults, canfind life to be so
disappointing, so dispiriting,so frustrating and ultimately
and unfortunately, usually windup blaming ourselves because we
(24:13):
just don't understand what ishappening beneath the surface?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (24:18):
That's exactly I mean the answer is yes, Greg.
The reality of the situation isin that forever spiral.
As I said, you can be wellbeyond 25 and still not really
maybe be in touch with your ownself in a way that puts you in a
position to be successful.
(24:39):
That you're in thisnever-ending doom loop based on
belief systems you inherited orthat were thrust upon you
consciously or subconsciouslyand you've not taken a step back
and a breath to think throughthat.
So that goes really deep andthere's a lot there, and
(25:00):
obviously, again as apsychiatrist, that's when it
gets to a spectrum level of zeroto 180, and once you cast the
90 degree mark now we're talkingabout maybe you're seeing me in
a different capacity, but thereality is it is a continuum, it
is a spectrum and I thinkthere's a lot.
I mean, even just that kind ofline of thinking can cause a lot
(25:23):
of anxiety and angst, and so Ithink the most important thing
someone can do and what, as partof my tagline to exist today.
I do firmly believe in the ideaof mindset and in order to get
into the right mindset, you haveto be capable of taking a
breath and you have to becapable of being able to look
(25:45):
within and examine these thingsright, and so the most
intelligent people in the worldmay not have the ability to be
in touch with their own feelings, and that will put them at a
disadvantage.
If you could take a breath andlook within whether that's
meditation, mindfulnessexercises if there's a pattern
you can establish or you cantake a breath and realize, then
(26:08):
you can begin to do somethingabout that right.
And that might be somethingthat has to be practiced and
take time and again.
You're not going to just gofrom someone who's lived their
whole life with thesesubconscious belief systems
who's suddenly not going to dothat right.
It's like you just wave a magicwand or snap a finger and all
(26:28):
that goes away.
But if you can't even take abreath and begin to realize that
those patterns exist or beginto realize that they're
disempowering behaviors orbelief systems, then you'll
never get there right.
So the first step is to, as Isay, exist today and I know you
believe this heavily too whichis you have to be able to
(26:51):
meditate, be mindful and take abreath and begin to analyze your
own life and your own beliefsystems and your own processes,
so you can eventually get to thepoint.
As I said, there are pieces ofthis that are necessary for
manifestation, but many of themare not sufficient in and of
themselves.
(27:11):
Right, and step one is you haveto at least be able to be in
touch with your feelings andunderstand your own patterns and
get out of your own way, and ifyou can't even do that, you'll
never get to the point ofmanifestation.
But yeah, so go back to youroriginal question.
That's 100% true.
It's a never-ending do-loop andfor me and those I mentor or
(27:33):
coach, that is where you have toget into some sort of
mindfulness practice ormeditation, or you have to be
able to calm the mind so you cansee deeper within yourself and
begin the process of a mindshift in an eventual
manifestation.
Greg Kuhn (27:50):
I love that, Dr Wakeham.
So I let's take this streetlevel for our viewers.
I am walking through life.
I inherited limiting beliefslimiting, but let's define this.
I say limiting beliefs, meaningthe beliefs that are currently
(28:15):
reside in my subconscious areproving themselves incapable of
manifesting a version of lifethat is aligned enough with my
desires for it.
So I'm cruising through lifeand I have these limiting
beliefs and they are manifestingdissatisfying, frustrating,
(28:35):
unfulfilling versions of life.
I tend to notice theseunfulfilling versions of life in
the most important parts of mylife, the parts of my life that
are just laden with opportunityfor fulfillment, like
relationships and career andcommunity engagement,
spirituality, parenting, thosesorts of things.
(28:56):
It can almost seem like mysubconscious is working against
me, it's my enemy, because itdoesn't care about my happiness,
it cares about my safety, itcares about keeping me alive,
and so its job is to monitor forany sort of change, any sort of
(29:17):
deviation from what it knows,and it doesn't matter whether
that change is of a positivenature or a negative nature.
Any change sounds the alarm.
Well, so am I imprisoned by mysubconscious.
Well, what I have found and I'dlove you to speak to this, I
(29:40):
may not have a intercom.
That's a pipeline, directconnection with my subconscious,
hence it's called subconscious.
However, I can see shadows ofwhat's in there in every moment
(30:01):
of my life.
And to take a step back to whatyou were talking about a moment
ago so powerfully, my feelings,the feelings that my life, my
reality elicit, are breadcrumbtrails back to my belief systems
(30:23):
, and painful feelings arebreadcrumb trails back to
limiting beliefs.
My feelings are a feedback loop.
Is that?
How have you come to viewfeelings and how do you utilize
feelings?
Of course, and I will say thisbefore I turn it back over my
(30:47):
work has often drawn praise fromtherapists.
I've heard from therapiststhrough the years because I am
so adamant about feeling andprocessing our emotions.
For one thing, we can't followthat breadcrumb trail without
processing them.
We need that information, don'twe?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (31:10):
Yes.
So feelings are your feedbackloop and that's where, as I said
earlier, there's actuallysomething called alexithymia,
and alexithymia, by definition,is this inability to be in touch
with your feelings.
So if I were to ask you howyou're feeling today, you would
say I'm feeling just fine.
Meanwhile, you have this frownon your face and you have a tear
(31:33):
rolling down your eye.
So this emotional disconnectand actually this can go down a
whole other rabbit hole of EQand emotional intelligence, and
that's both internal andexternal too, how you perceive
others and yourself.
But the way in which you feelabout a situation can absolutely
be the breadcrumb back to alimiting belief, and so when I
(31:56):
talk about taking a breath or amoment or meditating or being
mindful, it is around the ideaof examining or processing why
did that thing cause thisreaction?
Why did that situation or thatcomment or that TV show,
whatever it is, point to anexternal something?
(32:17):
Why did this external somethingmake me feel this way?
Because that feeling is afeedback loop, it is a clue back
down the road of maybe alimiting belief that exists and,
by the way, it's also okay tohave a fear.
I mean, if there is somethinghappening around you that brings
(32:37):
you fear, that emotion may bethe right emotion.
But if it's disempowering you,if it's not serving you, if it's
coming up and other peopledon't see it or other people
aren't feeling that, that's anopportunity for you to take a
step, take a breath and examinewhy did this cause that?
(32:58):
And the sooner you can connectto your emotions, the sooner you
can understand the way thingsare making you feel, the more
likely you are to go down theright path of positive mindset
shifting and again, ultimatelymanifestation.
But it is a feedback loop.
It does point us in thedirection of some clues and if
you never follow the clues oryou're never doing anything
(33:21):
about that, you will continue tohave this never ending new loop
.
You will continue to feel thatway when you shouldn't, and
you'll continue, which willdisempower you and not serve you
, which will lead to voids andinfelings and voids and purpose
and voids and happiness, whichagain just becomes an ever
(33:42):
ending loop.
So that just enhances yoursubconscious, that just enhances
the next continues to feed intothat.
And so the sooner you canidentify it and try to break
that cycle and then do somethingdifferent about it, the more
likely you'll be successful.
Greg Kuhn (33:59):
Yes, absolutely.
I listening to you speak.
You reminded me Dr Wakeham of.
I understand I haven't been tomedical school, but my
understanding is it's an oldjoke that the amygdala controls
the four F's fight, flight,freeze and sex.
(34:23):
So, and when we let's talk aboutwhat, in terms of manifesting
our version of reality, ouramygdala senses things that are
below our conscious awareness.
Our amygdala, for example, cansmell the difference between
(34:43):
sweat that a human makes byexerting themselves and sweat
that a human makes becausethey're scared.
And the amygdala smells that,that hormonal difference, in
four milliseconds, so way fasterthan our conscious mind, is
(35:08):
sensing and interpreting.
And the amygdala is also usingthat information, using its own
sensory information, primarilyabove, if you will, taking
precedence over the conscioussensory awareness that we are
sharing with the amygdala.
So my understanding is in thisand I want to use this as a
(35:34):
transition into now how do webegin to coach and I know you've
been talking, you've beenspeaking to that throughout the
conversation.
My understanding is that myamygdala it's not usually wrong
in what it senses.
It definitely identifies change.
(35:55):
It changes appropriately andaccurately.
What it's often wrong about,however, is the degree of the
threat, and I heard you speakingto that just a moment ago,
because when we don't have arapport, what I find, that most
(36:23):
often and unfortunately thisgets taught a lot in law of
attraction circles and anotherself-help circles A pretty
common reaction, consciouslyusually for humans, when they
are receiving that realitymanifestation of an overreactive
(36:47):
amygdala, is to shout theamygdala down, to try to shut it
up.
Shut it down and right wrong orindifferent.
One of the most common ways todo that is utilizing positive
thinking as a way to cram a newunderstanding into the limbic
(37:11):
system, and that simply doesn'twork as a change agent in those
kinds of situations.
It's rather limited, is it not?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (37:23):
It is.
I think, when we talk aboutyour ability to manage your
limiting beliefs and youramygdala as I said earlier, the
amygdala we're spending a littlebit of time bashing it, but the
reality is it's a critical andsurvival mechanism and, to your
point, it can sense and processthings.
Your whole limbic system willsense things in milliseconds and
(37:47):
your it goes.
A good example is you can think.
I think it's four times fasterthan you can talk.
So and your talking is actuallypart of your cortical functions
.
So as you just get deeper intothe brain, deeper into under the
layers, the speed at whichthings can be sensed and spoken
and thought all change and theyare dramatically different.
(38:10):
However, in my experience andwhat I believe is, the more you
train your cortical brain, themore that.
Just like if you're going to godo some sort of Ironman contest
, if you just walk out on thecourse and you've never lifted a
weight or done any swimtraining or your chances of
(38:34):
finishing in A or slim the none,your chances of doing anything
successfully with it arecertainly zero.
And so it's all about thattraining.
And so if you prepare yourcortical brain, if you prepare
your executive function, yourdiscernment, if you can train
that over time with meditationand mindfulness and self
(38:54):
reflection and internal reportbuilding, then even when the
amygdala senses something thatmight be a threat, your brain,
your cortical brain, can atleast filter it a bit, not
necessarily tamp it down.
Again, the amygdala is not a badthing.
Your limbic system is not bad.
Your limbic system just needsthe filter, it needs the
(39:15):
filtration.
And so the more you can trainyour cortical brain to be both
aware of but also respond tostimuli and a more positive
light, the less likely somethingthat wasn't negative doesn't
get into your amygdala and startcausing that fear reaction.
(39:36):
Right, you should still jam onthe break.
We need to jam on a break.
That's your limbic systemworking.
But you might not need to jamon it as hard if you had trained
your brain around the idea ofwhat is stopping an appropriate
amount of time being, and that'sall around your cortical brain.
So, being prepared, training itup, investing in your cortical
(40:00):
brain, in your higher thoughtorder brain, to be that filter
for your limbic system, becauseit will sense quicker and react
quicker if you don't do somework in advance.
Greg Kuhn (40:15):
I'd like to share with you my number one way of
doing what you're describing asa manifestor when I notice that
I am manifesting a version ofreality that is either very
frustrating or very unfulfillingpainful for me, and I'll give
(40:39):
an example of this.
I was getting ready to go for arun.
I'm a pretty avid runner andthis was a couple months ago.
I was out in the garage gettingready and I noticed that I was
feeling just terrible about mybusiness.
Manifest the Big Stuff based onsome feedback that I had gotten
recently, the kind ofdispiriting affect where I felt
(41:06):
like I was a failure, I wantedto quit, I wanted to chuck it
and run away, I wanted to hidewhatnot.
Well, I have taught myself andI talk about this often to tell.
In situations like that, whereI'm manifesting that kind of a
reality, I tell myself the bestfeeling, believable story
(41:31):
possible For it to be bestfeeling.
I start by acknowledging thefeelings that I'm getting.
I start by and in thatsituation.
So I started by saying, yeah, Ihave gotten some really
disappointing news.
I absolutely wanted to getdifferent feedback.
(41:52):
I'm very disappointed by that.
I'm unhappy about it.
It's scary to me.
All those things are true.
You are absolutely right,amigdala.
All that stuff has occurred andI don't feel good about it.
And then, to make the storybelievable, I softly, if you
will, without trying to shoutthe fear down and the painful
(42:15):
feelings down I begin to soothemyself by bringing up authentic
engagement and experiences thatI've had.
For example, in my garage, Isaid while all that is true and
there's no denying it it's alsotrue that Rome wasn't built
(42:35):
overnight.
That's absolutely true.
It's also true that I'm workingvery hard and that the missteps
I've taken weren't doneintentionally, nor were they
done out of lack of attention todetails.
And it's also true that I'vehad successful experiences and
(42:56):
plenty of them in the past.
It's also true that I'mcontinuing to work hard and that
I'm learning and growing andchanging.
It's also true that the realityI manifest, the best use of it
isn't to define me but to informme.
Now, none of this stuff changesthe disappointing nature of what
(43:17):
has occurred.
However, it is reasonable forme to say that, while
disappointed, this may not bethe end of the world, and
ultimately, I might even lookback on this and be grateful for
the pathways it opened and thewillingness that it brought to
(43:39):
me and things of this naturethat I know.
I've often experienced whatthat does for me and what that
did for me in the garage.
It doesn't instantly change myreality, like a genie granting a
wish and suddenly there's atreasure chest in front of me
full of gold, but it completelychanges me and since I am the
(44:02):
source of what I manifest, I'msure it wouldn't surprise you to
have me share that.
As I left the garage and went onthe run, I hadn't changed the
base reality of the news thatI'd received and that material
feedback, but I was alreadybeginning to see and understand
(44:26):
opportunities right in front ofmy nose that were there all
along, but I could not see andunderstand them from my previous
perspective.
And that works very well for me.
What are some of your top toolsthat you yourself use in
addition to teach?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (44:48):
Yeah, so I love that.
I love what you just said.
It's the reframing and therestructuring and again, both
things can be true to your point.
You can have this feedback andthis situation and this history
of success and so on, so forth.
I've always learned and mymentor always taught me, and
(45:11):
what I teach others is Is thepower of your life really comes
down to the power of thequestions that you ask, and
whether that's to yourself or toothers.
And so, in that same you knowmindset or environment or
situation, one of the things Iwould ask myself or I would
coach someone else to ask is andbasically, what you did, but
(45:34):
this idea of what's great aboutit, right?
So, yes, there's this thing andit's not so great and I'm
feeling this certain way, butjust the question of what's
great about it, right?
So, like a good example couldbe, I Wrecked my car right, and
so that's obviously negative,that's bad, that's all, all
(45:55):
insurance and all the money andall my car is going to devalue
and but just take again goingback to take a breath, take a
step and what's great about this?
Well, I'm not life-threatening,you know, my life wasn't
threatened.
I'm was able to walk away fromthe situation or, hey, I really
wanted a new car anyway.
This is an opportunity to go getthat or just that one simple
(46:16):
question, to break the negativeFeedback loop and that limbic
system taking control.
That one question could go sofar and shifting your mindset
towards a positive and to yourpoint.
Think about how the rest of theday, you know, would go if you
were able to just take thatbreath and ask that question and
answer it Truthfully, right.
(46:37):
I mean, you can't ask yourselfthe question and then say a bum
bug like, and you know, keepgoing down the negative, truly
trying to find the positive ornot.
Try, you know, do or do not.
There is no try right.
Find the positive in thatsituation and it'll serve you so
well in your future, regardlessof what it is you're going to
(46:57):
take on or what it is you findpurpose or derive fulfillment
from.
Ask yourself powerful questionsand you'll get powerful results
.
Greg Kuhn (47:06):
That's a great seque, Dr.
Wakim.
I'm keeping my eye on the timehere.
I've got a really importantquestion that I want you to
answer momentarily.
But first, something just asimportant Talk to us about the
ways that you work with people,the ways that you help people.
(47:27):
What are some of the servicesthat you provide and what are
the best ways for people toengage with you and get in touch
with you?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (47:37):
Yeah well, great Thanks for that setup there.
So, as you alluded to at thetop of the hour here I go by the
end game coach.
Really, that was born out ofwhen you're going through my bio
, when I merged in with shortcapital, I had at the time six
outpatient group practices Ideveloped, and when I did that
(47:58):
in going through the diligenceprocess I had a hundred plus
employees.
I had built this from theground up and I lived my life by
the idea if you don't know whatyou don't know.
And I was so shocked at what Ididn't know going into the
diligence I knew my business somuch as I understood kind of
what I was getting myselfinvolved in.
And I found myself in thatprocess really being really
(48:23):
asking myself like where can Ifind more help?
Why is there not someone I canturn to?
I don't have a mentor forsomething like this.
And that's really where the endgame coach bore out of.
It's this idea of Kind oftactically, the idea of how you
might develop your own end game,both through setting up a
business, developing thatbusiness, growing that business
(48:46):
and then maybe eventuallyselling that business.
So this idea of an end gamebeing some sort of sale or
transition of your business.
But, as you've heard me saybefore, I'm also a firm believer
that there's the professionalbut also the personal side, and
so, as a psychiatrist, assomeone who believes heavily in
mindset, I do work withindividuals or groups around
(49:08):
Culture and communication andmindset shifting and just really
setting up a successfulecosystem of the mind so you can
even be a successfulentrepreneur, so you can even
get to a possible end game, andso that's my backstory for the
end game coach.
You can go to endgamecoach.
As an example, I have aFacebook group that we've
(49:30):
recently started, called the endgame club.
That really brings like mindedindividuals together, spirited
business entrepreneurs who mightneed help with how do you set
up this thing, or what is duediligence look like, or what's
the best business type orstructure for my new venture.
So it is, you know, focuses alot on business, but it also
(49:53):
focuses on mindset, focuses onhow you put yourself in a
position to be successful.
So, whether it's through theYouTube channel, my podcast and
game coach podcast, or theFacebook group, would be really
great ways to engage and we'llput those obviously in the show
notes here too, but that's howyou would engage and I do again
(50:15):
offer group coaching, individualcoaching, mentorship, whether
it's on the business side or theperson side.
Greg Kuhn (50:23):
Wonderful, and that is also a great segue, because I
can't end our conversationwithout asking you to speak
directly to the audience.
Imagine that I am a client ofyours and although, of course,
people aren't coming to yousaying,.
(50:43):
r Dundefined D S S Wakeham,teach me how to manifest my life
better that may not be thenomenclature that they're
bringing to you.
What do you say to me?
I'm coming to you and I needyour coaching.
Obviously, there are parts ofmy life, whether it's my
business or things related to it, that aren't going the way that
(51:06):
I want them to, and I'veprobably gotten myself into a
pretty dispirited place,frustrated place.
Undoubtedly, I've been trying alot of different things.
I've been trying my best.
I've probably sought out experthelp.
I've read books, watchedYouTube videos, talked to
(51:27):
friends whatnot?
Done my best to manifest thispart of my life the way I truly
want.
I've reached a point where I'mready and willing to be coached,
which we both know.
I make sure that I'm activelycoached all the time.
It's such an importantcomponent to a successful life.
This person is not in a goodplace and they're coming to you.
(51:52):
Where do you start them?
What are the most importantthings to set somebody onto a
better path to help them get andstay on that better path.
Dr. Ryan Wakim (52:09):
Yeah, really the crux of this whole conversation
, which is we have to first diginto almost a bit of a discovery
as to why, maybe why they don'tthink they're successful or why
they haven't yet beensuccessful, and where they want
to go.
So, again, asking powerfulquestions, getting to the pain
(52:31):
points, getting to the pleasurepoints and understanding what
drives you.
Why do you want to do this?
What results are you lookingfor?
Why are you looking for thoseresults and what's not serving
you?
So I do, although, again, a lotof what I put out there has
more to do with just thetactical business side.
You can't be a successfulentrepreneur if you haven't
(52:55):
built from a strong foundation,and to me as a psychiatrist,
that has to be a foundation ofan inappropriate and positive
mindset.
And what I often see inindividuals who are not as
successful as they want to be orwho really want to do more but
they just can't get out of theirown way to do it, is that they
(53:16):
haven't yet done the existingtoday part right.
And that's actually why I sayexist today so you can expand
tomorrow and then create theultimate end game, because if
you don't, if you build upon acracked foundation, the chances
that you're not going to turnout being the leaning tower of
Pisa are pretty small.
So you have to start with thebasics, you have to get your
(53:37):
mindset in the right spot andfrom there good things will come
.
And that goes to themanifestation piece.
Yes, there's mentorshipinvolved with just changing your
inflection point and yourgrowth strategy, and I've been
there.
I've done that, so I'm able tohelp you on truly the business
aspects as well.
But again, you often have tostart with that positive
(54:01):
foundation and ecosystem so thatyou can eventually get there.
And I don't take that lightly,nor do I think you can go where
you want to go or be the bestversion of yourself, unless you
put that work in on the frontend.
Greg Kuhn (54:15):
So having a target, meeting yourself where you are
and building a foundation to gofrom there and making sure that
all of those things areauthentic, Based on our own
internal litmus test.
We don't want to go through themotions.
We don't want to slap smileyface stickers on top of empty
(54:39):
gas gauges, do we?
Dr. Ryan Wakim (54:41):
Correct.
Yeah, I'm a big Simon Sinek.
Find your why.
Like, if you want to go, do X,if you want to have this goal,
let's explore why and let's makesure that's aligned with
yourself and your family and allthe things you value, like what
are your core mission, visionand values, so that we can shoot
for the stars, but do it in away that aligns with who you
(55:03):
want to be as a person.
Greg Kuhn (55:06):
And that brings us to a wonderful conclusion.
I really want to thank you, DrWakeham, for your time and for
popping the hood for us andlaying it all out there.
I know we made good on ourintention to create something of
tremendous value and I reallyappreciate you being willing to
(55:27):
do that with us and for us today.
Dr. Ryan Wakim (55:31):
Yeah, great, it was a pleasure.
Both these conversations havebeen truly amazing and look
forward to a continuedrelationship with you.
We'll have to work together onwhat manifesting that will look
like, but very excited tocontinue the conversation over
time and super appreciative foryou having me on your podcast.
Greg Kuhn (55:49):
Well, very much reciprocated.
And in closing, I want toremind folks, if you haven't
joined my Facebook manifestinggroup, that's a great place to
start, and why haven't you Goahead and rectify that?
Today it is called manifest thebig stuff, with Greg Kuhn
creating our realities together.
(56:09):
That's a great place to be sothat you can stay abreast and
stay in touch and hear all thelatest.
I can't think of anything morevaluable for you to share with
me and with Dr Wakeham then yourtime.
You're spending that with usright now and that is not
something we take for granted.
(56:30):
I always want to honor that andI definitely want to thank you
for sharing your time with us.
So until we get a chance tomeet up again and hopefully that
will be very soon Keepbelieving and keep manifesting.
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