September 3, 2023 • 23 mins
Ready to unravel the profound concept of purpose? Brace yourself for an enlightening journey as we navigate the nebulous realm of life's higher calling. Get set to redefine success, move beyond ego-driven ambitions, and embrace a meaningful purpose that aligns with your deeper self.
As we let go of ego and 'arrive home' to ourselves, we begin to truly understand our unique offerings to the world. It's time to redefine success, uncover your purpose, and live a fulfilling life. Let's get started!
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Sending you love and goddess vibes.
Cheers,
Nicole & Sophia
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Thank you for coming back Always.
We're glad you came back.
Every time it means you knowsomething was worthwhile and
what we did last episode, whichI love, and this is another we
chose some really powerfultopics last.
I love it.
I love it, but there seemedlike themes from last year.
We talked about your limitingbeliefs.
We talked about all that stuff.
Now we're talking about yourpurpose again.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Well, and I think that it's in the first season we
talked about, we brought it up.
Yeah, this is something that weshould probably learn about and
know about, and know aboutyourself, and this season we're
going OK.
Here are the actionable steps.
Here is how you make adifference.
It's not the same thing.
It's not the same episode.
It's the actionable stepstowards creating this pillar in
your life.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yes, so purpose is one of my favorite things.
Like, as I was re-listening tothe episodes and you can go back
to episode five.
Stop holding yourself back,babe.
Babe, that's the title of it,and that one was where I talked
about purpose and the retreat Iwent to Shout out to Kristen
Fritz and Andrea Alida.
But purpose to me is likeeverything yeah, you've got to
(01:02):
have a purpose, you've got tohave meaning in your life.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yeah, right, yeah, it's what helps you shine and
sizzle.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yes, and I think in our initial intros to the show
we talked about, if you'refeeling that calling, and that
calling is your purpose, it'ssomething greater than you, yeah
Right, it's your higherself-calling.
So the intentions of thisepisode is to make your purpose
less scary.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
And remove shame around the perceived impact of
your purpose.
And I say perceived impact isthe important part, because you
might think it's small and itmight really have a bigger
impact than you know in theworld.
Yeah, and this episode isdedicated and inspired by my
mother-in-law, jill.
So we had actually we talkedabout it in a happy hour, but I
(01:46):
ended up cutting it because Iwas like this is the whole
episode, so I'm going to sharethe little story.
We were in Arizona and she saidI could share this and talk
about it, but she was talkingabout hey, when I listen to your
podcast, sometimes I feel likeI'm not doing enough.
My purpose should be bigger,like I should be wanting more
for my life, like I should bedoing something else, like it's
(02:07):
not like me doing what I know asme is not enough.
And I'm like that is not theintention at all, no, so I was
like we need to emergency do aepisode to help women understand
that it's not about the size ofyour purpose.
The perceived size, yeah.
It's about how it feels to youand how aligned you are to it,
nothing else.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Well, and it's not about what we want for you
Exactly, it's about what youwant for you, because I want a
lot for you.
But yes, but you could want allof those things from me and I
could pluck out what I want andleave behind the rest and be
like I don't really, it's justnot important to me, this thing
is just not.
Yeah, it's important to knowExactly To be, clear about what
(02:47):
it is that you want for yourlife.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
What do you want?
Damn it.
So it's going to be a quickepisode, but also super powerful
.
Maybe some new technique.
You haven't tried in findingyour purpose.
There's books, there's retreats, podcasts I mean all of it, yes
.
But first, what is your purpose?
And you probably heard this somany times.
It's referred to as your dharma, it's a more spiritual term.
(03:11):
You're calling Yep your soul'smission yeah, I like that one.
Your reason for being?
Yeah, your destiny, your NorthStar and the essence of your
life, which also I love.
Yes, I do.
Because the essence of your lifeis really symbolic of purpose,
because it's not about an action, it's about the essence of the
actions.
It's how you are expressingyour purpose that matters the
(03:32):
most in the world.
It's the underlying everything.
Yes, and you will see that fromyour patterns.
Like we talked about patternslast time, and maybe they're
more negative patterns, reflecton the positive patterns.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yes, please do Give yourself a little bit of credit,
god damn.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Like what are the things that I did this in
finding my purpose and creatingtransformations in the world?
I was like, wow, all of thesepowerful moments in my life
where I was loving life andhappy and fulfilled, I was
transforming something.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
So that's how I ended up finding mine.
So reflect on the good patterns.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Not just the shitty ones, yeah, but I wanted to
remind people in this episode,as we talked about, it's not
about the size, it shouldn't bescary A person shouldn't be
scary.
Just a few things to remindpeople, right, yeah.
And one is the purpose is theessence of your life.
We just talked about it.
It's not a specific job or taskor action.
(04:23):
So when you are like, what am Imeant to do?
Or you're trying to think aboutyour purpose, it's not.
Your purpose is to be a gasstation attendant.
That is not it at all.
Right, and we talked in our oneepisode about how we saw that
sign twirler guy.
Yeah, and he was twirling hissign and like oh my god, he
nailed it, he was following hisposes and his purpose is not to
be a sign twirler but, Iprobably guarantee you it's
(04:46):
something about bringing joy tothe world.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Entertainment Entertainment.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, entertaining people Because he was like in
his vibe.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah, just because you're doing it now and enjoying
it doesn't mean that you're not.
There's not a bigger purposething Exactly.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
So don't let, don't attach your purpose to a
specific job, task or action.
Number one yeah, how youexpress your purpose can evolve
with your life circumstances andthe times in the world.
So this is important too.
That's why it's the essence.
How I bring transformation inthis season of my life may be
different than I did in my 20sand may be different than I will
(05:23):
in my 60s, like, depending onwhere I am.
What I'm bringingtransformation to will be
different how I'm expressing it,and that is okay.
It will not always look thesame.
I think people get stuck likewell, you figure out your
purpose and that's it forever.
No, it's not.
It should evolve Right, and thenthe times of the world around
you will also reflect what isneeded and you will just
naturally, inherently changelike evolve your purpose into
(05:46):
that.
Yeah, of course, right.
Yeah, definitely.
Every purpose has impact.
It's in service of the worldand the greater good.
So even if you can't see it andthis is maybe where you need to
reflect in your journaling evenif you can't see the impact, it
has impact Absolutely.
You know that sign twirler.
He made us laugh.
I videotaped it and we'retalking about it now on a
podcast like he probably has nofreaking idea and it impacted us
(06:09):
.
We were like, wow, yes, it wasentertaining.
And it was like wow, look atthis person.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Just like yeah bringing joy to your day.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
In 110 degrees in freaking Arizona, just loving
his life man.
So every purpose has impact?
Do not think there is no.
This is where size doesn'tmatter, ladies.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, there is no purpose to it.
The only place the size doesn'tmatter.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
We're gonna break that myth right here.
So also, it's a connectingthread in your life.
So purpose is something.
As you look back at yourchildhood, you're gonna see how
it showed up.
You really again consciousawareness here, when I was a kid
and I was pretending that I wasteaching classes, or I was
doing that girl's makeup,transforming her, or I was
(06:58):
creating clubs and being thepresident of them and coming up
with these new ideas, or I wascreating innovations, like all
of those reforms oftransformation me as a kid,
right.
So how can you look back atyour childhood and see those
threads that are connecting tothose things that bring you joy?
Now, that's the purpose connectthe threads.
We need an activity on that,but it's complicated.
Yeah, maybe one day season, whoknows?
(07:21):
Your purpose also makes youfeel expansive, so it doesn't
require effort.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
I love.
That Makes you feel expansive.
It makes you feel like it'sgrowing just by you living in it
.
It's getting bigger just byyour joy and your sheer ability
to celebrate it.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Yeah, and a lot of times people will ask you what
do you get lost in when you'redoing something and it just like
the time it goes by.
That's something to be aware ofthere, because it's not work
right.
It's like, and it might be yourjob, you might be living your
purpose and your job, who knows?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
God, I hope so.
I hope there's someone outthere listening and that's like
ah, that's exactly right.
There are people I know I'm sojealous.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
That's where when you look at people I do this all
the time I'm like why can't I beLady Gaga, or why can't I be
Oprah, or why can't I be whoever?
And then I realize that's notmy gifts, those are not my
talents, they're not my gifts.
That's not my purpose.
My purpose is not to come hereand share stories through music.
(08:29):
That's not my purpose.
It's something else.
It doesn't mean my purpose isany less than no, absolutely.
Yeah, I might not be amillionaire yet, ladies, yeah,
but that's not how I'm going toexpress my purpose and I'm okay
with that.
So are you okay with that?
Are you okay that you're notgoing to be Matthew McConaughey
or whoever?
Yeah, get right with it.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Yeah, well, don't be her, be you, be you.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
I like that.
I reposted that one.
You liked it, didn't you.
Yes, ha ha ha.
And the last one is yourpurpose is the need in the world
that breaks your heart.
It's the change you want tomake in the world.
So again, as my mother-in-law,jill, was talking to me about
her purpose in being, aboutfamily and nurturing and very
(09:12):
maternal, which is for a lot ofwomen, so again I want you to
reflect on is that coming fromyour own purpose or is that
coming from conditioning first,to figure out Right?
Is that your true purpose?
Yeah, and I believe for her itprobably is.
Sorry, I can't be in her head,but she is all about family and
all of that.
But women, a lot of women areraised to like that's your
number one you're the caretaker.
(09:33):
It's what you're supposed towant to do so make sure it's
what, but if it bringing you joyand she volunteered for at
schools, volunteered for a longtime, and so it's like, yeah,
she was expressing it like itwasn't about the money and this
and that she was there caringfor children and making sure
they were safe, and so, yeah,she expressed it in that way.
(09:53):
So what is that need, thatchange?
You want to be in the world.
You want to be there for thechildren.
You want to.
For me it's.
I want to help women understandand realize their purpose and
their shine and, like, fullyexpress it Right, like that's
that's mine.
That's why I want to shakewomen when they're not there,
because I know it's the thing inthe world that drives me crazy.
Yeah, what do you know, yours?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Well, I mean, I I feel the most fulfilled when I
am nurturing my children, when Isee them being successful and I
know that I helped them getthere, that that, for me, is the
ultimate.
Yeah, and it's funny because Ifeel like you may want more for
my purpose.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I want more for your purpose.
Yeah, I think that sometimesthat's at a detriment to your
self.
Yeah, only caring for what yourchildren need and not for you.
I think it puts yourself in thebackseat.
Yeah, want more for yourself.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
That's where I feel like it's hard.
That's where the work is.
Yeah, it's to go.
How do I do this withoutchopping my own self at the
knees?
Yes.
How do I do this while I'mcelebrating myself?
How do I take credit for someof the nurturing that I'm giving
?
Yes, so that's the work that Iam doing.
But, at the end of the day, Ihave never felt more fulfilled,
yeah, than seeing my childrensucceed in this like co-creative
(11:10):
way.
Yes, if I have helped them getsomewhere and I can see that
success, it's just done.
Yeah, I am, I feel, totallyfulfilled, yeah, and yeah, so
it's a lot of plus.
My kids are older, yeah, soit's like that's always changing
and evolving.
Exactly, that's always like howam I helping them and how am I
leading type of example Am Igiving them?
(11:31):
And that's, I think, where alot of my work is right now yes.
It's going.
Remember that you are theexample you are showing them
what a healthy woman, what ahealthy mom, what a healthy
person looks like and acts likeyeah, so you cannot inspire them
by giving too much of yourself.
Exactly Because then that'sjust teaching them to take
(11:52):
Exactly, it's not teaching themto collaborate, yeah.
It's not teaching them to saylike I know obviously there's
sacrifice in it, but I know thatmy mom was fulfilled in herself
in doing these things for us.
It's not just a constant givingof giving, of giving, of giving
.
I'm not just an empty vesselnow, because I've given all of
(12:13):
myself.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Yeah, so it's the balance, yeah.
And how it will evolve whenyour children move out and have
their own families, it's goingto look different.
How you express that, hopefully, yeah, yeah, yeah, because then
you'll be that mother-in-law,so how you express your maternal
and nurturing is going to bedifferent.
So, as long as you can evolvewith that, then that's your
(12:35):
purpose.
That's your purpose.
Yeah, but it evolves, yeah, youknow Right, so that's the thing
for women to understand.
It's like it doesn't alwayshave to be exactly the way it
looks now.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
No, exactly it can be different.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Yep, and hopefully, yes, you're.
If you're living in fulfillment, if you feel totally fulfilled
doing what you're doing, writeon yeah, then you're on track.
Yes, if you don't, there's asprinkle of I'm not fulfilled
here, something's off.
Yes, that's where people needto ask themselves these
questions.
Right, you know?
Yeah, figure your shit out.
I've been reading this book,the Shift by Wayne Dyer Taking
(13:11):
your life from ambition tomeaning.
It talks about so when we thinkof our purpose, a lot of times
we think about it from anego-tistical place, like it's
from our ego Success.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Material things, what I need All of these things
Really.
So the book is all about takingyou from that driving towards
your purpose in those ego waysto more of a higher self,
universal meaning andfulfillment ways.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Which I think is so beautiful.
So I think everyone should readthe book and there were some
really powerful pieces that Iwanted to capture and then talk
about another framework forpurpose.
But so again, so the book isabout going from ambition to
meaning.
Just even hearing that youunderstand it, right?
Yeah, you think about your lifeand it's like how much I've
strived for the title the money,the career, and you're like, oh
(14:01):
shit.
And he walks you through a lotof how to move out of that.
But we talked about in the lastcouple of episodes the quantum
shift, right?
Yes, so he talks about thisbook called Quantum Change when
epiphanies and sudden insightstransform ordinary lives and
it's written by these two peopleCan't pronounce the names, not
(14:21):
going to try here, I'll link itin the thing.
But a quantum change, it's amajor experience in your life
that causes a shift in awarenessof life.
So you've gone throughsomething and it shifts how you
perceive life.
A death of a loved one yeah.
Losing a career yes.
Having to reinvent yourselfit's almost like the Phoenix
(14:41):
moments when you've had torebuild your life yeah,
something in childhood, but amoment where you became aware of
life in a different way, yes,you could call it an awakening.
That's an easier way to sayquantum moment.
It's an awakening moment andwe've all had them, hopefully.
If you're listening to thispodcast, I know you're in tune
with it, but so it's yourawakening moment.
So this book?
(15:01):
They did a study and they did astudy with a bunch of men and
women and it was about theirvalues before their quantum
shifts, right, the things theyvalued in their life before they
had these major life incidents.
Yeah, their awakening, yeah.
And then what their values wereafterwards.
So, men, their top five valuesin life before having these
(15:22):
awakenings were wealth,adventure, achievement, pleasure
and being respected.
Sounds right, almost everythingfrom an ego place, definitely
Right, yeah, all driven by ego.
After their quantum shifts,after their awakenings, their
five were spirituality, personalpeace, family, god's will, so I
(15:42):
guess you can say surrender, oruniverse.
What a honesty.
So they completely went to ameaningful place, yeah, and it's
such a beautiful thing forwomen.
So the women's this is where itgets interesting and they talk
a lot about women's conditioningto family is number one, yeah.
So for women, their values werebefore their awakenings were
family number one, independence,career, fitting in and
(16:06):
attractiveness.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
And they talked about the contrast between family and
independence.
So it was like I need to be aperfect mother and I need to be
an independent woman.
I need to be a career womanLike it's-.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah, I'm struggling with that, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
And then, after their awakening, their top one was
personal growth, self-esteem,spirituality, happiness and
generosity.
Yeah, I love that Right.
Yeah, so you can get the bookand you can read all about it.
This experiments and studies onpeople and how they evolve and
their values over their life.
But really getting from thatego place we're all.
(16:42):
Your purpose is not ego driven.
You've got to get rid of thatshit.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
It's not.
My purpose is to become afinancial banker and make
millions of dollars.
That's not your purpose.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
No, you know.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Yeah.
So one thing to know also iswhen are these awakening moments
as you're coming into your life?
They're usually surprising.
So they're unexpected,uninvited and unforeseen.
Yeah.
They're going to hit you like aton of bricks if you're trying
to think back to when you hadthese.
Yeah, they're also vivid,they're intense and memorable.
Yeah so they're vivid memories.
(17:14):
You will likely remember thesemoments like they, like you were
there in the room still.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
They're benevolent, which is, you know, coming from
a higher source.
So you might also, in thosemoments, be like wow, like it's
a sign, it's something.
This is happening for a reasonright, and they're enduring,
they're long lasting.
These things will change yourlife forever.
You're not, it's not like amomentary.
We're like well, and thenyou're back to the same old you.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Right, they shifted you.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Yeah, they lasted forever.
Yeah, so you can really reallythink about those things.
I think they're just importantin sharing your purpose, because
it's what are your values andit's almost like do the values
exercise?
And if your success, and likeall of the ego driven ones, it
might be time for you to make ashift.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yeah, and I feel like the masculine ones were like
take, yes.
The feminine ones were likegive, and at the end of the day
they both came back to sense ofself.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Yes, like it.
Internal, yeah yeah, peace,harmony.
Exactly yeah, less about whatyou have, exactly so Wayne Dyer
was actually known in his life.
As he started to move into thisshift in his life, he started
giving away all his possessions.
Yeah, like, what do you thinkof monks?
And I'm not saying give awayyour shit, but he talks about
how, giving one thing a day thatyou have that you don't use,
(18:30):
you haven't used in the last 12months, yeah, give it away.
Yeah, give it away.
Just let it go, man, make space, don't sell it.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Don't benefit off of the gift Just give it away.
Give it away, use it.
You don't need it.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Just let it go.
Yes, I wanted to read thisquote from his book because I
think it's really beautiful andit talks about like arriving
home to yourself and yourpurpose.
But so it says having arrivedhome, each breath we take is an
expression of our life purpose.
We no longer struggle to win,gain the approval of others,
meet expectations others had forus, fulfill someone else's idea
(19:05):
of our Dharma, or acquire,achieve or hoard.
We let go of conflict,certainty, being right, fighting
, dominating, vanquishing andfeeling superior.
All of this ego stuff loses itspower and attraction when we
arrive home, where meaningwelcomes us.
So all those things.
Every time you're in anargument and you're trying to be
(19:26):
right, you're in ego.
It's hard.
It's hard to realize that it'shard to realize that that's the
truth.
Yes, do you want to be right ordo you want to be happy?
Yeah, do you want to bepeaceful?
You want to be peaceful or doyou want to be right?
You want to be right.
You can't have both.
I want both.
That's not going to happen, butit doesn't work that way, I
know.
Anyways, that's a deeperfunction.
(19:47):
So there are so many differentways you can find your purpose.
There's all kinds of tools.
The retreat that I did lastyear was inspired by this book
that Stephen Cope wrote.
It's called the Great Work ofyour Life and it's about the
intersection of what the worldneeds and your gifts.
So, really, if you journal onthat, like, what does the world
(20:07):
need?
What does the world need most?
And for me it's like they needpowerful women, women in power,
women who not just women inpower, but women who are fully
aligned to themselves and theirauthenticity and to their divine
feminine, and those type ofwomen.
And then what are my gifts?
My gifts are speaking.
It's inspiring people, it'screating workbooks so you can
(20:32):
kind of like and then you canpinpoint those.
It's not that simple.
There's a whole book on it, butright, right, right, right.
So that's that theoryintersection of your gifts and
the needs of the time.
I also read this other book intwo days, which was amazing.
Dr McCall recommended it,called the Alchemist.
I think I have it.
Do you have it?
I think I do.
Okay, it's really good.
I read it in two days because Iwas just like I got this.
(20:53):
Like it's about this shepherdboy in his journey and they call
your purpose your personallegend, and it's about you know
what is that dream?
You have right, and his wholething is about following, first
of all, the omens of theuniverse, so listening to the
signs, synchronicities.
You called it a wink and a smilefrom the universe in our
(21:14):
episode and it's following yourdreams and following all of that
and along the way you willshift and evolve, and following
your heart, and you willdiscover where you're meant to
be if you just let go and justfollow what feels good.
Float, that's his version,right?
It's also about pinpointingthis and that.
Yeah yeah.
Float.
Listen to your heart, listen toyour soul.
(21:35):
Yeah, be aware of the ship, yep.
But then I found one last onethat I wanted to share, and I
think other people have heard ofthis one.
It's called Ikigai.
Have you heard of it?
Oh, this is exciting.
Ikigai it's Japanese, it's fromOkinawa, japan, and this,
apparently, is a place wherethey have the most centarians
(21:56):
people over 100.
Wow Living longest, and they'reall in these studies and
conversations, fulfilled andhappy.
And so they have this thingcalled Ikigai, and you can look
it up on YouTube.
A lot of people do videos on it, there's lots of TED Talks on
it, but it's how to find yourpurpose, and I thought it was
really fascinating.
So I want to share on thisepisode.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yeah, okay, sound good.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Yeah, so there's four things.
It's like a Venn diagram wherethere's circles interconnect
right, oh yeah, so there's fourcircles and then, in that very
center thing, that's your Ikigai, that's your life's purpose,
right?
And so the circle number one iswhat do you love to do?
Passions?
And so you can list I love tospeak, I love to podcast, I love
(22:38):
to lead, I love to teach,whatever those things are.
Don't go crazy, keep it a nice,tight list.
Second circle what are you goodat?
These are your gifts.
What are your gifts, ma'am?
So what are your talent, skills, your expertise?
What are the things you'rebringing to the table?
Yeah, third circle what doesthe world need?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
So, we kind of talked about that what does the world
need?
Speaker 1 (23:01):
And this can be from your vision.
What you think the world needsis probably different than what
I think the world needs.
So it's your lens what does theworld need?
Yeah, what do the communityneed?
What are the positivecontributions you can make?
And then the last one is whatcan you be rewarded for?
And so in one version it saidwhat can you be paid for?
Because a lot of this is likehow do you basically do what you
(23:24):
love for a living?
Everybody would like that.
Not everybody does that.
So the goal is do what you lovenine to five as well as after
work.
But it's kind of some otherversions I've changed it to
rewarded for.
Because what you do, dima,reward it might be money, it
might be praise, it might be.
Whatever your reward is Right,it's a little ego to me, but
(23:46):
it's your vocation really.
So this involves findingopportunities that align with
your passion, skills and theneeds in the world so you can
sustain yourself financially.
So for me, I can be rewardedfor my ability to lead teams,
for maybe my creative abilitiesto create things.
So you can kind of narrow inand so, where all these circles
(24:06):
converge, you create this littlemap of your purpose.
And I think it's a beautifullittle exercise so you can
Google it.
Look it up.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Love that, iki guy Love that, yeah, yeah.
So I want to say I think, justbecause, like, how we started
right was about Jill saying youknow, it makes me feel like I
should want more for my lifethan what I do, and it's
important to remember that yourlife is a miracle all by itself.
It doesn't have to be huge, itdoesn't have to be world
(24:37):
changing, it just needs to feelfulfilling to you, because the
fact that you are here at all isa goddamn miracle.
Yeah, you know what I'm sayingExactly.
Every life lived has purpose,every life lived has meaning.
There is such a joy to bringingthat spark of who you are to
(25:01):
others, whether it be yourfamily, your friends or your
coworkers or whatever the casemay be.
It's just a miracle that you'rehere, like, appreciate the fact
that you have the chance to dosomething that brings you joy,
yeah, possibly brings joy toothers.
Yeah, like, live in the miracleof that.
Yeah, you know, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
It is a miracle.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
You don't have to be a celebrity.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
No, you don't have to .
Your impact could be big,whether or not you realize it.
You may not realize the impactof your life until you're gone.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Well, seriously, I mean in death goes one on one
with us all and is undefeated.
So yeah, now's the time.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Yeah, so the important part is enjoy what
you're doing on your journey.
Yes, exactly, if you followyour passions, your joy, you
know, utilize your gifts thatyou were given.
There's a reason you have gifts.
There's a reason Lady Gaga cansing and I can't.
There's just a reason for it,right?
So don't force it, right, likeI'm not going to try to be a
(26:03):
singer.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Not my gift.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
My gift is something else.
Your gift has impact.
I guarantee you that.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Yeah Well, and a life squandered is just so
depressing.
Like you know, do what youenjoy, even if it's not for me,
even if it's not professionally.
Wouldn't it be lovely if wewere all doing what we loved
professionally?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
But even if that's not it, find the joy in your
life and celebrate that, yes,exactly, and the thing is is
like that's my passion spot is Ibelieve you can find joy in
your job even if you don't, evenif you don't like your job
today.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
If you can figure out your purpose, you can apply it
to what you're doing.
Yeah, the guy's spinning thefucking sign.
I'm telling you that's probably.
I'm sorry.
Thank you for what you do, butthat probably is a pretty
terrible job.
You're not making a lot ofmoney.
You're out in the sun and theheat, yeah, like I don't you
know.
So I think you can bring yourpurpose to what you do.
You just got to.
(26:57):
You've got to intentionally doit.
Hardness, you know you're goingthrough every day and go I can
hate my job.
I hate my job.
It's horrible.
You need this.
You need to discover yourpurpose and apply it to what you
do, because if you're not,you're missing out on the
opportunities to impact lives.
Andrea said this to me theother day.
She was like if you don'tfulfill your purpose, think of
all of the women out there whoare going to miss out on what
(27:20):
you have to say.
Your purpose is impactingsomebody else's life.
They need you, yes, so show up,yep, you know.
Show up at home, figure out theessence of your life and bring
it Yep, and you'll be happy.
Yeah, you can find happiness.
Yeah, you can find it.
I believe that.
I think you just got to connectto the purpose.
Yeah, you may not love your job, but you can bring your purpose
(27:43):
to your job.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Bring it.
Yeah, it's my hope for theworld.
It's very smart, yeah, allright.
Well, that's it.
Thank you everyone, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
That wraps it.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Wraps it up.
All right, cheers.
Thank you for coming back Always.
We're glad you came back.
Every time it means you knowsomething was worthwhile and
what we did last episode, whichI love, and this is another we
chose some really powerfultopics last.
I love it.
I love it, but there seemedlike themes from last year.
We talked about your limitingbeliefs.
We talked about all that stuff.
Now we're talking about yourpurpose again.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Well, and I think that it's in the first season we
talked about, we brought it up.
Yeah, this is something that weshould probably learn about and
know about, and know aboutyourself, and this season we're
going OK.
Here are the actionable steps.
Here is how you make adifference.
It's not the same thing.
It's not the same episode.
It's the actionable stepstowards creating this pillar in
your life.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yes, so purpose is one of my favorite things.
Like, as I was re-listening tothe episodes and you can go back
to episode five.
Stop holding yourself back,babe.
Babe, that's the title of it,and that one was where I talked
about purpose and the retreat Iwent to Shout out to Kristen
Fritz and Andrea Alida.
But purpose to me is likeeverything yeah, you've got to
(01:02):
have a purpose, you've got tohave meaning in your life.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
Yeah, right, yeah, it's what helps you shine and
sizzle.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yes, and I think in our initial intros to the show
we talked about, if you'refeeling that calling, and that
calling is your purpose, it'ssomething greater than you, yeah
Right, it's your higherself-calling.
So the intentions of thisepisode is to make your purpose
less scary.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
And remove shame around the perceived impact of
your purpose.
And I say perceived impact isthe important part, because you
might think it's small and itmight really have a bigger
impact than you know in theworld.
Yeah, and this episode isdedicated and inspired by my
mother-in-law, jill.
So we had actually we talkedabout it in a happy hour, but I
(01:46):
ended up cutting it because Iwas like this is the whole
episode, so I'm going to sharethe little story.
We were in Arizona and she saidI could share this and talk
about it, but she was talkingabout hey, when I listen to your
podcast, sometimes I feel likeI'm not doing enough.
My purpose should be bigger,like I should be wanting more
for my life, like I should bedoing something else, like it's
(02:07):
not like me doing what I know asme is not enough.
And I'm like that is not theintention at all, no, so I was
like we need to emergency do aepisode to help women understand
that it's not about the size ofyour purpose.
The perceived size, yeah.
It's about how it feels to youand how aligned you are to it,
nothing else.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Well, and it's not about what we want for you
Exactly, it's about what youwant for you, because I want a
lot for you.
But yes, but you could want allof those things from me and I
could pluck out what I want andleave behind the rest and be
like I don't really, it's justnot important to me, this thing
is just not.
Yeah, it's important to knowExactly To be, clear about what
(02:47):
it is that you want for yourlife.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
What do you want?
Damn it.
So it's going to be a quickepisode, but also super powerful
.
Maybe some new technique.
You haven't tried in findingyour purpose.
There's books, there's retreats, podcasts I mean all of it, yes
.
But first, what is your purpose?
And you probably heard this somany times.
It's referred to as your dharma, it's a more spiritual term.
(03:11):
You're calling Yep your soul'smission yeah, I like that one.
Your reason for being?
Yeah, your destiny, your NorthStar and the essence of your
life, which also I love.
Yes, I do.
Because the essence of your lifeis really symbolic of purpose,
because it's not about an action, it's about the essence of the
actions.
It's how you are expressingyour purpose that matters the
(03:32):
most in the world.
It's the underlying everything.
Yes, and you will see that fromyour patterns.
Like we talked about patternslast time, and maybe they're
more negative patterns, reflecton the positive patterns.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yes, please do Give yourself a little bit of credit,
god damn.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Like what are the things that I did this in
finding my purpose and creatingtransformations in the world?
I was like, wow, all of thesepowerful moments in my life
where I was loving life andhappy and fulfilled, I was
transforming something.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
So that's how I ended up finding mine.
So reflect on the good patterns.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Not just the shitty ones, yeah, but I wanted to
remind people in this episode,as we talked about, it's not
about the size, it shouldn't bescary A person shouldn't be
scary.
Just a few things to remindpeople, right, yeah.
And one is the purpose is theessence of your life.
We just talked about it.
It's not a specific job or taskor action.
(04:23):
So when you are like, what am Imeant to do?
Or you're trying to think aboutyour purpose, it's not.
Your purpose is to be a gasstation attendant.
That is not it at all.
Right, and we talked in our oneepisode about how we saw that
sign twirler guy.
Yeah, and he was twirling hissign and like oh my god, he
nailed it, he was following hisposes and his purpose is not to
be a sign twirler but, Iprobably guarantee you it's
(04:46):
something about bringing joy tothe world.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Entertainment Entertainment.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
Yeah, entertaining people Because he was like in
his vibe.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah, just because you're doing it now and enjoying
it doesn't mean that you're not.
There's not a bigger purposething Exactly.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
So don't let, don't attach your purpose to a
specific job, task or action.
Number one yeah, how youexpress your purpose can evolve
with your life circumstances andthe times in the world.
So this is important too.
That's why it's the essence.
How I bring transformation inthis season of my life may be
different than I did in my 20sand may be different than I will
(05:23):
in my 60s, like, depending onwhere I am.
What I'm bringingtransformation to will be
different how I'm expressing it,and that is okay.
It will not always look thesame.
I think people get stuck likewell, you figure out your
purpose and that's it forever.
No, it's not.
It should evolve Right, and thenthe times of the world around
you will also reflect what isneeded and you will just
naturally, inherently changelike evolve your purpose into
(05:46):
that.
Yeah, of course, right.
Yeah, definitely.
Every purpose has impact.
It's in service of the worldand the greater good.
So even if you can't see it andthis is maybe where you need to
reflect in your journaling evenif you can't see the impact, it
has impact Absolutely.
You know that sign twirler.
He made us laugh.
I videotaped it and we'retalking about it now on a
podcast like he probably has nofreaking idea and it impacted us
(06:09):
.
We were like, wow, yes, it wasentertaining.
And it was like wow, look atthis person.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Just like yeah bringing joy to your day.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
In 110 degrees in freaking Arizona, just loving
his life man.
So every purpose has impact?
Do not think there is no.
This is where size doesn'tmatter, ladies.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, there is no purpose to it.
The only place the size doesn'tmatter.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
We're gonna break that myth right here.
So also, it's a connectingthread in your life.
So purpose is something.
As you look back at yourchildhood, you're gonna see how
it showed up.
You really again consciousawareness here, when I was a kid
and I was pretending that I wasteaching classes, or I was
doing that girl's makeup,transforming her, or I was
(06:58):
creating clubs and being thepresident of them and coming up
with these new ideas, or I wascreating innovations, like all
of those reforms oftransformation me as a kid,
right.
So how can you look back atyour childhood and see those
threads that are connecting tothose things that bring you joy?
Now, that's the purpose connectthe threads.
We need an activity on that,but it's complicated.
Yeah, maybe one day season, whoknows?
(07:21):
Your purpose also makes youfeel expansive, so it doesn't
require effort.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
I love.
That Makes you feel expansive.
It makes you feel like it'sgrowing just by you living in it
.
It's getting bigger just byyour joy and your sheer ability
to celebrate it.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Yeah, and a lot of times people will ask you what
do you get lost in when you'redoing something and it just like
the time it goes by.
That's something to be aware ofthere, because it's not work
right.
It's like, and it might be yourjob, you might be living your
purpose and your job, who knows?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
God, I hope so.
I hope there's someone outthere listening and that's like
ah, that's exactly right.
There are people I know I'm sojealous.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
That's where when you look at people I do this all
the time I'm like why can't I beLady Gaga, or why can't I be
Oprah, or why can't I be whoever?
And then I realize that's notmy gifts, those are not my
talents, they're not my gifts.
That's not my purpose.
My purpose is not to come hereand share stories through music.
(08:29):
That's not my purpose.
It's something else.
It doesn't mean my purpose isany less than no, absolutely.
Yeah, I might not be amillionaire yet, ladies, yeah,
but that's not how I'm going toexpress my purpose and I'm okay
with that.
So are you okay with that?
Are you okay that you're notgoing to be Matthew McConaughey
or whoever?
Yeah, get right with it.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Yeah, well, don't be her, be you, be you.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
I like that.
I reposted that one.
You liked it, didn't you.
Yes, ha ha ha.
And the last one is yourpurpose is the need in the world
that breaks your heart.
It's the change you want tomake in the world.
So again, as my mother-in-law,jill, was talking to me about
her purpose in being, aboutfamily and nurturing and very
(09:12):
maternal, which is for a lot ofwomen, so again I want you to
reflect on is that coming fromyour own purpose or is that
coming from conditioning first,to figure out Right?
Is that your true purpose?
Yeah, and I believe for her itprobably is.
Sorry, I can't be in her head,but she is all about family and
all of that.
But women, a lot of women areraised to like that's your
number one you're the caretaker.
(09:33):
It's what you're supposed towant to do so make sure it's
what, but if it bringing you joyand she volunteered for at
schools, volunteered for a longtime, and so it's like, yeah,
she was expressing it like itwasn't about the money and this
and that she was there caringfor children and making sure
they were safe, and so, yeah,she expressed it in that way.
(09:53):
So what is that need, thatchange?
You want to be in the world.
You want to be there for thechildren.
You want to.
For me it's.
I want to help women understandand realize their purpose and
their shine and, like, fullyexpress it Right, like that's
that's mine.
That's why I want to shakewomen when they're not there,
because I know it's the thing inthe world that drives me crazy.
Yeah, what do you know, yours?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Well, I mean, I I feel the most fulfilled when I
am nurturing my children, when Isee them being successful and I
know that I helped them getthere, that that, for me, is the
ultimate.
Yeah, and it's funny because Ifeel like you may want more for
my purpose.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
I want more for your purpose.
Yeah, I think that sometimesthat's at a detriment to your
self.
Yeah, only caring for what yourchildren need and not for you.
I think it puts yourself in thebackseat.
Yeah, want more for yourself.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
That's where I feel like it's hard.
That's where the work is.
Yeah, it's to go.
How do I do this withoutchopping my own self at the
knees?
Yes.
How do I do this while I'mcelebrating myself?
How do I take credit for someof the nurturing that I'm giving
?
Yes, so that's the work that Iam doing.
But, at the end of the day, Ihave never felt more fulfilled,
yeah, than seeing my childrensucceed in this like co-creative
(11:10):
way.
Yes, if I have helped them getsomewhere and I can see that
success, it's just done.
Yeah, I am, I feel, totallyfulfilled, yeah, and yeah, so
it's a lot of plus.
My kids are older, yeah, soit's like that's always changing
and evolving.
Exactly, that's always like howam I helping them and how am I
leading type of example Am Igiving them?
(11:31):
And that's, I think, where alot of my work is right now yes.
It's going.
Remember that you are theexample you are showing them
what a healthy woman, what ahealthy mom, what a healthy
person looks like and acts likeyeah, so you cannot inspire them
by giving too much of yourself.
Exactly Because then that'sjust teaching them to take
(11:52):
Exactly, it's not teaching themto collaborate, yeah.
It's not teaching them to saylike I know obviously there's
sacrifice in it, but I know thatmy mom was fulfilled in herself
in doing these things for us.
It's not just a constant givingof giving, of giving, of giving
.
I'm not just an empty vesselnow, because I've given all of
(12:13):
myself.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
Yeah, so it's the balance, yeah.
And how it will evolve whenyour children move out and have
their own families, it's goingto look different.
How you express that, hopefully, yeah, yeah, yeah, because then
you'll be that mother-in-law,so how you express your maternal
and nurturing is going to bedifferent.
So, as long as you can evolvewith that, then that's your
(12:35):
purpose.
That's your purpose.
Yeah, but it evolves, yeah, youknow Right, so that's the thing
for women to understand.
It's like it doesn't alwayshave to be exactly the way it
looks now.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
No, exactly it can be different.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
Yep, and hopefully, yes, you're.
If you're living in fulfillment, if you feel totally fulfilled
doing what you're doing, writeon yeah, then you're on track.
Yes, if you don't, there's asprinkle of I'm not fulfilled
here, something's off.
Yes, that's where people needto ask themselves these
questions.
Right, you know?
Yeah, figure your shit out.
I've been reading this book,the Shift by Wayne Dyer Taking
(13:11):
your life from ambition tomeaning.
It talks about so when we thinkof our purpose, a lot of times
we think about it from anego-tistical place, like it's
from our ego Success.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Material things, what I need All of these things
Really.
So the book is all about takingyou from that driving towards
your purpose in those ego waysto more of a higher self,
universal meaning andfulfillment ways.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Which I think is so beautiful.
So I think everyone should readthe book and there were some
really powerful pieces that Iwanted to capture and then talk
about another framework forpurpose.
But so again, so the book isabout going from ambition to
meaning.
Just even hearing that youunderstand it, right?
Yeah, you think about your lifeand it's like how much I've
strived for the title the money,the career, and you're like, oh
(14:01):
shit.
And he walks you through a lotof how to move out of that.
But we talked about in the lastcouple of episodes the quantum
shift, right?
Yes, so he talks about thisbook called Quantum Change when
epiphanies and sudden insightstransform ordinary lives and
it's written by these two peopleCan't pronounce the names, not
(14:21):
going to try here, I'll link itin the thing.
But a quantum change, it's amajor experience in your life
that causes a shift in awarenessof life.
So you've gone throughsomething and it shifts how you
perceive life.
A death of a loved one yeah.
Losing a career yes.
Having to reinvent yourselfit's almost like the Phoenix
(14:41):
moments when you've had torebuild your life yeah,
something in childhood, but amoment where you became aware of
life in a different way, yes,you could call it an awakening.
That's an easier way to sayquantum moment.
It's an awakening moment andwe've all had them, hopefully.
If you're listening to thispodcast, I know you're in tune
with it, but so it's yourawakening moment.
So this book?
(15:01):
They did a study and they did astudy with a bunch of men and
women and it was about theirvalues before their quantum
shifts, right, the things theyvalued in their life before they
had these major life incidents.
Yeah, their awakening, yeah.
And then what their values wereafterwards.
So, men, their top five valuesin life before having these
(15:22):
awakenings were wealth,adventure, achievement, pleasure
and being respected.
Sounds right, almost everythingfrom an ego place, definitely
Right, yeah, all driven by ego.
After their quantum shifts,after their awakenings, their
five were spirituality, personalpeace, family, god's will, so I
(15:42):
guess you can say surrender, oruniverse.
What a honesty.
So they completely went to ameaningful place, yeah, and it's
such a beautiful thing forwomen.
So the women's this is where itgets interesting and they talk
a lot about women's conditioningto family is number one, yeah.
So for women, their values werebefore their awakenings were
family number one, independence,career, fitting in and
(16:06):
attractiveness.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
And they talked about the contrast between family and
independence.
So it was like I need to be aperfect mother and I need to be
an independent woman.
I need to be a career womanLike it's-.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah, I'm struggling with that, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
And then, after their awakening, their top one was
personal growth, self-esteem,spirituality, happiness and
generosity.
Yeah, I love that Right.
Yeah, so you can get the bookand you can read all about it.
This experiments and studies onpeople and how they evolve and
their values over their life.
But really getting from thatego place we're all.
(16:42):
Your purpose is not ego driven.
You've got to get rid of thatshit.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
It's not.
My purpose is to become afinancial banker and make
millions of dollars.
That's not your purpose.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
No, you know.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Yeah.
So one thing to know also iswhen are these awakening moments
as you're coming into your life?
They're usually surprising.
So they're unexpected,uninvited and unforeseen.
Yeah.
They're going to hit you like aton of bricks if you're trying
to think back to when you hadthese.
Yeah, they're also vivid,they're intense and memorable.
Yeah so they're vivid memories.
(17:14):
You will likely remember thesemoments like they, like you were
there in the room still.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:20):
They're benevolent, which is, you know, coming from
a higher source.
So you might also, in thosemoments, be like wow, like it's
a sign, it's something.
This is happening for a reasonright, and they're enduring,
they're long lasting.
These things will change yourlife forever.
You're not, it's not like amomentary.
We're like well, and thenyou're back to the same old you.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Right, they shifted you.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Yeah, they lasted forever.
Yeah, so you can really reallythink about those things.
I think they're just importantin sharing your purpose, because
it's what are your values andit's almost like do the values
exercise?
And if your success, and likeall of the ego driven ones, it
might be time for you to make ashift.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yeah, and I feel like the masculine ones were like
take, yes.
The feminine ones were likegive, and at the end of the day
they both came back to sense ofself.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Yes, like it.
Internal, yeah yeah, peace,harmony.
Exactly yeah, less about whatyou have, exactly so Wayne Dyer
was actually known in his life.
As he started to move into thisshift in his life, he started
giving away all his possessions.
Yeah, like, what do you thinkof monks?
And I'm not saying give awayyour shit, but he talks about
how, giving one thing a day thatyou have that you don't use,
(18:30):
you haven't used in the last 12months, yeah, give it away.
Yeah, give it away.
Just let it go, man, make space, don't sell it.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Don't benefit off of the gift Just give it away.
Give it away, use it.
You don't need it.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Just let it go.
Yes, I wanted to read thisquote from his book because I
think it's really beautiful andit talks about like arriving
home to yourself and yourpurpose.
But so it says having arrivedhome, each breath we take is an
expression of our life purpose.
We no longer struggle to win,gain the approval of others,
meet expectations others had forus, fulfill someone else's idea
(19:05):
of our Dharma, or acquire,achieve or hoard.
We let go of conflict,certainty, being right, fighting
, dominating, vanquishing andfeeling superior.
All of this ego stuff loses itspower and attraction when we
arrive home, where meaningwelcomes us.
So all those things.
Every time you're in anargument and you're trying to be
(19:26):
right, you're in ego.
It's hard.
It's hard to realize that it'shard to realize that that's the
truth.
Yes, do you want to be right ordo you want to be happy?
Yeah, do you want to bepeaceful?
You want to be peaceful or doyou want to be right?
You want to be right.
You can't have both.
I want both.
That's not going to happen, butit doesn't work that way, I
know.
Anyways, that's a deeperfunction.
(19:47):
So there are so many differentways you can find your purpose.
There's all kinds of tools.
The retreat that I did lastyear was inspired by this book
that Stephen Cope wrote.
It's called the Great Work ofyour Life and it's about the
intersection of what the worldneeds and your gifts.
So, really, if you journal onthat, like, what does the world
(20:07):
need?
What does the world need most?
And for me it's like they needpowerful women, women in power,
women who not just women inpower, but women who are fully
aligned to themselves and theirauthenticity and to their divine
feminine, and those type ofwomen.
And then what are my gifts?
My gifts are speaking.
It's inspiring people, it'screating workbooks so you can
(20:32):
kind of like and then you canpinpoint those.
It's not that simple.
There's a whole book on it, butright, right, right, right.
So that's that theoryintersection of your gifts and
the needs of the time.
I also read this other book intwo days, which was amazing.
Dr McCall recommended it,called the Alchemist.
I think I have it.
Do you have it?
I think I do.
Okay, it's really good.
I read it in two days because Iwas just like I got this.
(20:53):
Like it's about this shepherdboy in his journey and they call
your purpose your personallegend, and it's about you know
what is that dream?
You have right, and his wholething is about following, first
of all, the omens of theuniverse, so listening to the
signs, synchronicities.
You called it a wink and a smilefrom the universe in our
(21:14):
episode and it's following yourdreams and following all of that
and along the way you willshift and evolve, and following
your heart, and you willdiscover where you're meant to
be if you just let go and justfollow what feels good.
Float, that's his version,right?
It's also about pinpointingthis and that.
Yeah yeah.
Float.
Listen to your heart, listen toyour soul.
(21:35):
Yeah, be aware of the ship, yep.
But then I found one last onethat I wanted to share, and I
think other people have heard ofthis one.
It's called Ikigai.
Have you heard of it?
Oh, this is exciting.
Ikigai it's Japanese, it's fromOkinawa, japan, and this,
apparently, is a place wherethey have the most centarians
(21:56):
people over 100.
Wow Living longest, and they'reall in these studies and
conversations, fulfilled andhappy.
And so they have this thingcalled Ikigai, and you can look
it up on YouTube.
A lot of people do videos on it, there's lots of TED Talks on
it, but it's how to find yourpurpose, and I thought it was
really fascinating.
So I want to share on thisepisode.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yeah, okay, sound good.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Yeah, so there's four things.
It's like a Venn diagram wherethere's circles interconnect
right, oh yeah, so there's fourcircles and then, in that very
center thing, that's your Ikigai, that's your life's purpose,
right?
And so the circle number one iswhat do you love to do?
Passions?
And so you can list I love tospeak, I love to podcast, I love
(22:38):
to lead, I love to teach,whatever those things are.
Don't go crazy, keep it a nice,tight list.
Second circle what are you goodat?
These are your gifts.
What are your gifts, ma'am?
So what are your talent, skills, your expertise?
What are the things you'rebringing to the table?
Yeah, third circle what doesthe world need?
Speaker 2 (22:58):
So, we kind of talked about that what does the world
need?
Speaker 1 (23:01):
And this can be from your vision.
What you think the world needsis probably different than what
I think the world needs.
So it's your lens what does theworld need?
Yeah, what do the communityneed?
What are the positivecontributions you can make?
And then the last one is whatcan you be rewarded for?
And so in one version it saidwhat can you be paid for?
Because a lot of this is likehow do you basically do what you
(23:24):
love for a living?
Everybody would like that.
Not everybody does that.
So the goal is do what you lovenine to five as well as after
work.
But it's kind of some otherversions I've changed it to
rewarded for.
Because what you do, dima,reward it might be money, it
might be praise, it might be.
Whatever your reward is Right,it's a little ego to me, but
(23:46):
it's your vocation really.
So this involves findingopportunities that align with
your passion, skills and theneeds in the world so you can
sustain yourself financially.
So for me, I can be rewardedfor my ability to lead teams,
for maybe my creative abilitiesto create things.
So you can kind of narrow inand so, where all these circles
(24:06):
converge, you create this littlemap of your purpose.
And I think it's a beautifullittle exercise so you can
Google it.
Look it up.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
Love that, iki guy Love that, yeah, yeah.
So I want to say I think, justbecause, like, how we started
right was about Jill saying youknow, it makes me feel like I
should want more for my lifethan what I do, and it's
important to remember that yourlife is a miracle all by itself.
It doesn't have to be huge, itdoesn't have to be world
(24:37):
changing, it just needs to feelfulfilling to you, because the
fact that you are here at all isa goddamn miracle.
Yeah, you know what I'm sayingExactly.
Every life lived has purpose,every life lived has meaning.
There is such a joy to bringingthat spark of who you are to
(25:01):
others, whether it be yourfamily, your friends or your
coworkers or whatever the casemay be.
It's just a miracle that you'rehere, like, appreciate the fact
that you have the chance to dosomething that brings you joy,
yeah, possibly brings joy toothers.
Yeah, like, live in the miracleof that.
Yeah, you know, yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
It is a miracle.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
You don't have to be a celebrity.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
No, you don't have to .
Your impact could be big,whether or not you realize it.
You may not realize the impactof your life until you're gone.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Well, seriously, I mean in death goes one on one
with us all and is undefeated.
So yeah, now's the time.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Yeah, so the important part is enjoy what
you're doing on your journey.
Yes, exactly, if you followyour passions, your joy, you
know, utilize your gifts thatyou were given.
There's a reason you have gifts.
There's a reason Lady Gaga cansing and I can't.
There's just a reason for it,right?
So don't force it, right, likeI'm not going to try to be a
(26:03):
singer.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
Not my gift.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
My gift is something else.
Your gift has impact.
I guarantee you that.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
Yeah Well, and a life squandered is just so
depressing.
Like you know, do what youenjoy, even if it's not for me,
even if it's not professionally.
Wouldn't it be lovely if wewere all doing what we loved
professionally?
Speaker 1 (26:22):
But even if that's not it, find the joy in your
life and celebrate that, yes,exactly, and the thing is is
like that's my passion spot is Ibelieve you can find joy in
your job even if you don't, evenif you don't like your job
today.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
If you can figure out your purpose, you can apply it
to what you're doing.
Yeah, the guy's spinning thefucking sign.
I'm telling you that's probably.
I'm sorry.
Thank you for what you do, butthat probably is a pretty
terrible job.
You're not making a lot ofmoney.
You're out in the sun and theheat, yeah, like I don't you
know.
So I think you can bring yourpurpose to what you do.
You just got to.
(26:57):
You've got to intentionally doit.
Hardness, you know you're goingthrough every day and go I can
hate my job.
I hate my job.
It's horrible.
You need this.
You need to discover yourpurpose and apply it to what you
do, because if you're not,you're missing out on the
opportunities to impact lives.
Andrea said this to me theother day.
She was like if you don'tfulfill your purpose, think of
all of the women out there whoare going to miss out on what
(27:20):
you have to say.
Your purpose is impactingsomebody else's life.
They need you, yes, so show up,yep, you know.
Show up at home, figure out theessence of your life and bring
it Yep, and you'll be happy.
Yeah, you can find happiness.
Yeah, you can find it.
I believe that.
I think you just got to connectto the purpose.
Yeah, you may not love your job, but you can bring your purpose
(27:43):
to your job.
Speaker 2 (27:43):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
Bring it.
Yeah, it's my hope for theworld.
It's very smart, yeah, allright.
Well, that's it.
Thank you everyone, yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
That wraps it.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Wraps it up.
All right, cheers.
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