July 24, 2023 • 25 mins
075. What if I told you that your self-worth is more important than your confidence? Join me in this eye-opening show which is in response to a conversation by Ed Mylett and Jamie Kern Lima, who's about to release her book called Worthy.
I share how vital it is to have a strong foundation of self-worth before building confidence and I also tell a personal story about the importance of a solid foundation when building a house – and how it relates to understanding our own worth and value.
Together, we explore the difference between confidence and self-worth, and how confidence can be externally based on achievements, roles, and reputation, while self-worth is an inner knowing and belonging.
I was so inspired by Jamie's life story challenging us to examine our own self-perceptions and recognize our inherent value.
Listen in as I tackle negative self-talk and bring the reminder that we are all equally worthy, simply because we exist.
Allow this episode to be the catalyst for unlocking your full potential and embracing your true worth.
00:00:00 The Critical Question 00:01:49 The difference between confidence and worth. 00:03:50 What Makes a Good Foundation 00:06:27 Worth is at the Core 00:09:36 The Difference Between Confidence and Self-Worth 00:13:02 Believing that you are Valuable 00:15:12 Taking a Closer Look 00:17:58 Celebrate Being Alive 00:20:16 The Power of Self-Worth 00:22:19 Cultivating Confidence and Self-Worth 00:25:49 Closing
✷ Ed Mylett and Jamie Kern Lima Podcast → https://youtu.be/vI8OsJXNNhE
✷ Website → https://marijanel.com/
✷ Companion YouTube Video → https://youtu.be/MRsOUFEklA4
✷ Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/marijanel/
✷ Support the Show → https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Marijanel
✷ Music → https://www.epidemicsound.com/
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Marijanel (00:00):
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself the critical
question what do I allow todefine my self worth?
Today The Marijanel Show,we're gonna dive deep into the
difference between confidenceand worth, and today I wanna
leave you with a sense ofknowing your value.
Let's get to it.
Welcome to The Marijanel ShowSo glad you're here.
(00:21):
Let's get started with today'sepisode.
You all know that I love a goodpodcast that inspires me,
motivates me, and that Igenerally devour these podcasts
while I'm on the elliptical orthe treadmill.
So this past week I was on theelliptical doing my thing and up
pops in my Apple podcast feed anew Ed Mylett show and I loved
(00:47):
it And I need to talk to youabout what I got out of the show
.
Today here on my podcast, EdMylett had a guest named Jamie
Kern Lima on his show.
Then the name of the show iscalled This Will Change Your
Life.
Okay, and this will change yourlife, but don't turn off my
show yet to go listen to his.
Stay here and listen here whatI got out of this podcast, and
(01:09):
then please go devour hispodcast with me And I'd love to
hear your thoughts.
Jamie Kern Lima, Ed Mylett'sguest, is just about to release
a book called Worthy And shetalks about coming to a place in
her life of knowing her truevalue and worth as a person.
Even though she's a billionaire, even though she's sold a big
(01:31):
company and she's had all kindsof successes and titles and
recognition and validation, shestill had to peel back all the
layers of that external successand come to a place of
challenging and knowing andgrowing her own self worth.
This was really impactful forme to listen to because there
(01:53):
was an aha moment there whereshe actually reminded me that
there's a big difference betweenconfidence and worth.
And I've been talking aboutconfidence a lot here The
Marijanel Show.
If you hop back to the episodesthat I had in the spring
episodes 57, finding your itfactor, when I was asking
yourself what makes heads turn,what makes heads turn, what
(02:15):
shifts the atmosphere in a roomwhen someone confident walks in,
it's not bravado, it's notinsecurity, it's confidence.
And then the following episode,episode 58, i talked about
climbing to purpose and yourcall in confidence and
fulfilling and doing our purposewith confidence is just so
(02:35):
critical.
We don't want people out therejust doing what they're meant to
be doing with, like all thiscrazy insecurity.
We want to rise, to be peopleof confidence, and this helps us
to explore that powerfulconnection between purpose and
confidence and how they work.
And then, of course, in thefollowing episode I explore the
connection between our skillsand confidence and really
(02:56):
growing our skills.
But I feel like, as I broughtthis content in the heart of my
message to the podcast thisspring, it's like I started
building a house without thefoundation And I am here to
basically set that house asidefor a minute and say, listen, we
(03:17):
gotta dig the foundationbecause you have value and worth
and intrinsic sense of being,with or without any of those
accomplishments, with or withouteven pursuing your dreams or
goals, who you are in thismoment.
Just being and breathing, beingmade for such a time as this is
(03:41):
of value.
And that is something ofinternal worth, not external
measures of success.
And you know, i'm thinking backto the time I've shared it
before where Steve and I hadbuilt our dream house okay, and
it was a really unusualsituation And I was in charge of
subbing out all the trades.
(04:02):
I had this beautiful bar chartfor anyone who loves to organize
.
I figured out what a bar chartwas and I love it.
I just like to make bar chartsnow just for the fun of it.
But I had this bar chart and Iorganized the whole build.
It was the most, one of themost stressful things I've ever
done in my life And I do notknow if I ever want to do that
again.
(04:23):
But on day one when we dug thefoundation, we went over budget
and over time on the foundation,okay, and I was kind of
freaking out because my mind wasgoing to the end game.
I'm thinking about my closetsand mirrors and pretty fixtures
and thinking how I afford allthe finishing If I'm over budget
(04:45):
, like I don't know really overbudget, like 20, 30 grand over
budget on day one of diggingwith the machines And I had to
stop and remind myself of theimportance of the foundation
Because, you see, as you know, imean we all just kind of know
these things, but sometimes wehave to have this reminder that
(05:07):
the foundation is, yes, theunseen part of the structure.
It's hidden underneath and itprovides the stability and
support.
It provides the longevity anddurability and it's the inner
strength.
It's really what everythingelse stems from.
(05:27):
And I think about this time thatwe were also house shopping,
keep using these house wordpictures and analogies.
But we were house shopping andthere had been a house that had
a great layout, all thispotential, super fun to dream
about what we could do with it.
And when we really startedasking questions, the foundation
was compromised.
It had been kind of built nearsome kind of riverbed stream and
(05:51):
then there was like a crack andit had been disclosed.
But we didn't really know aboutit.
And all this long story.
In the end we realized we wouldhave a massive endeavor to
repair the foundation.
Well, some of us are in thattoday.
Some of us are experiencingsuccesses and outward
(06:12):
achievements external thingsthat are the house, so to speak,
but the internal, thefoundation, needs to be repaired
, cared for, and sometimes it'sbeen compromised.
And that is what I'm referringto today as our worth.
(06:32):
Our worth is the core of it.
All All the rest stems out ofit, and I not only see this as a
foundation, like where thestructure is built from, but
I've also seen it through theweek.
This picture flash in my mindof like a core seed, and out of
that seed comes all the restthat the plant or the fruit tree
(06:54):
could become.
But everything's enclosed inthat seed which is, to me, our
worth.
So the big question today iswhat is actually defining your
worth?
And Miriam Webster has a greatdefinition of worth, saying
having a sense of having worth.
And knowing your worth ishaving a sense of one's own
(07:15):
value as a human being.
That sounds so simple thatevery human being has a worth by
just being here, by breathing,being alive and being matter.
And we've talked about in thepast how it's easy to feel like
we're not enough, how it's easyto feel like we don't have a
(07:36):
place to shine, we don't knowwhen our time to shine, and
we're all looking for our placein this world really.
And that also can be strippeddown to knowing our worth and
that every single one of us hasa valuable, intrinsic part to
play in the grand picture, inthe whole entire beautiful,
(08:00):
broad way of life, right?
And so this foundation that I'mspeaking of today is me
challenging you to take a lookat your worth.
And maybe some of you rightaway are Marijanel , i already
know that my worth is shaky.
It's a foundation with a crackin it.
It has been forever and eithermaybe there's been a hurt or a
(08:20):
trauma or someone has devaluedyour worth to the point that you
believe it may be, as it hasbeen in my case.
Many times in my life I've beenthe one to devalue my worth.
It actually I've beensurrounded by a loving,
supportive family, and sometimesit's been me that has been the
one to sabotage me, and that issomething.
(08:43):
As you know, i've taken a lotof my personal work to the
journal, pen to paper, andreally worked out my feelings
and thought processes throughthe journal, which is why I'm
passionate about leading you allin journal exercises, giving
you prompts, and it's definitelynot something to replace
therapy or counseling, but it isa place to really work out our
(09:06):
own heart.
And so let me just touch for amoment on this foundation of
your worth.
Okay, cultivating your selfworth does require inner work.
We might go over time, overbudget, looking at this
foundation, like I did in thebeginning of building this house
(09:27):
.
You know that I shared thestory of where it requires the
inner work, and it also requiresa real shift in perspective.
Okay, so, coming back to EdMyletts's show and Jamie Kern
Lima sharing about finding herworthiness, reminding me that
confidence and worth are totallydifferent.
(09:49):
Okay, they're totally differentthings.
So let's just take a secondbefore I share more on the
foundation of your worth.
And what is this like,difference between confidence
and self worth?
because they do go hand in hand, like they're very much like
music singing harmony together.
They're very much always foundin the same place, like people
(10:10):
who know their worth aregenerally confident, and but I
don't always find it to be viceversa.
I find that sometimes there'sreally confident people who
don't always know their selfworth, and this is why it's
because confidence is thatoutside structure, it's the
house, it's what everyone seeson the external.
(10:33):
Okay, and if you think about allexternal things, external
matters, it is our achievements,our roles, our reputation, the
things that are tangible, ourmoney, our houses, our vehicles
and just like everything that'smaterial can, can build our
confidence.
And you know I don't playsports, but I love to use a
(10:56):
sport metaVors here and there.
And if you think about a reallyconfident let's, let's say
baseball, really confidentbaseball teams that are on a
winning streak, because they'reon a winning streak, they're
going to show up and play moreconfidently because they've been
winning and they feel greatabout it and nothing's really
(11:17):
challenging their mojo.
They're winning And so they're.
Yeah, that confidence is linkedto how we're feeling and it's
external.
Then let's say they begin alosing streak.
Well, it can be exactly thesame where they show up needing
a boost of confidence becausethey're feeling down from losing
(11:40):
.
These are all external feelingsthat are impacted by our outside
, external circumstances andenvironments.
But what's internal, the worth,the, the knowing for that
baseball team that they're goingto show up and play because
they're worth it, they belong inthe big leagues, that they're
(12:00):
meant for the big leagues, thatthey've been practicing, and
that that they know that it'stheir time and that this belongs
to them because they're worthit.
That is an inner knowing andinner belonging and knowing that
we're enough to be here.
And I gotta say you're enoughto be here simply because you
(12:24):
are.
You are.
There isn't anything to add orsubtract to that.
There isn't anything for me tosay you're enough to be here
simply because you areintelligent.
No, you're enough to be heresimply because you are wealthy.
No, that you're enough to behere simply because you are a
(12:44):
fill in the blank.
Whatever it is that you've beendefining your self-worth.
You could fill in that blank,but none of that matters.
It stops at R period A-R-E R.
You are worth because you are.
You're worth it because you areperiod.
That's my big epiphany of theweek that I'm bringing here, and
(13:05):
it's deep.
It's deep If you're justlistening or tuning in The
Marijanel show for the firsttime and you don't know what I'm
all about.
I am a mindset mentor who'sfocused on what I'm focused on
unlocking your full potential.
I am just in the midst ofstarting my mentorship programs
that are going to be availableonline.
My podcast has been going forquite a while now.
(13:26):
But if everything stopped today, if this was the end, if the
Mary Janelle show was over, ifmy programs never took off, if I
could say anything, that meanssomething from the bottom of my
heart.
It's that I'm here because Ibelieve in you and that you're
worth it because you are period.
(13:51):
Everything else that comes outof whatever fruit this tree
bears, whatever structure thisbuild becomes, is going to be
built on that.
That I believe in you becauseyou are Coming back to this idea
that confidence is of allexternal things or built on all
(14:12):
external things, but worth isbuilt intrinsically.
It is really important that webegin to challenge our belief
system in our worth, no matterwhat your outside structure
looks like.
In success, perhaps you'vebuilt yourself a glorious
skyscraper of success.
But if your foundation iseroding, if there's something
(14:35):
leaking and rotting and causingblack mold and ick in there,
this morning, when I was makingmy breakfast, i smelled
something and I thought, yep, ithink I have a rotting onion in
the pantry And there's nothing.
Like my nose, which you allknow is the nose of a hound, i
can smell anything from a blockaway, but I could smell
something in the pantry.
And so after this podcast, i'llbe going into the kitchen and
(14:59):
looking for whatever it is thatI've been smelling.
And you can have somethingrotting in the foundation, even
though you're presenting to theworld a glorious skyscraper.
And I want to challenge you totake a look and don't be afraid
to look into the inner selfworth work of building your
(15:23):
worth, of repairing thatfoundation, of where it all
starts.
There's a couple of ways to dothis.
You know I love the journalingaspect and, yes, i can put on my
blog some really great, greatquestions and some really
insightful things that will helpyou and prompt you pen to paper
.
But here's a few that I canmention in the podcast.
(15:46):
First, beginning to firstchallenge your negative self
talk.
Just stop the negative selftalk right away, because that
erodes your worth, because yourworth is there.
So here's another aha, yourworth is there, whether or not
you believe in it, your worth,it your worth, your worthy.
So every single human being, weall have this, this same level
(16:10):
field of worth, because we are.
And if you don't believe it andyou tear yourself down with
your, your self talk and yourself mindset, that actually it
affects how you feel about yourworth and it affects what you
believe about your worth, but itdoesn't actually change your
worth.
You're enough.
You're enough because you are,and If you don't think it,
(16:34):
that's one thing, but it doesn'tchange the fact that you are
worthy and enough.
And so just move aside, stop,say no to negative self-talk,
begin to recognize your sense ofbeing.
I want you to really begin tothink about your sense of just
being, not doing.
We got to take our eyes off allthe do and focus on the who,
(16:58):
who you are in your being andrecognize your sense of being,
not accomplishments.
So, yes, we all have work to doand goals to meet and things
we're pursuing in our life, andthat's all going to wrap us up
in the accomplishment and thisconfidence building.
But we have to do some innerwork every day to take a look at
(17:20):
that foundation and recognizeour sense of being and the sense
of being of the others aroundyou.
In case you are that personwho's projecting all kinds of
expectation and demands on otherpeople, perhaps you're feeling
to see their intrinsic worth, intheir sense of being enough,
(17:42):
that they're worth it becausethey are, and coming back into
that right relationship ofrespecting one another because
they are and I see so much onsocial media that makes me sad
about how we disrespect oneanother because there is that
sense of like, belonging,because we are, and we have to
(18:03):
come back to that because it'slike the basis, foundation of
love.
And the other thing you canbegin to do right now, to do the
self work, is celebrating yourlife, just being alive.
Celebrate who you are, even ifsometimes you don't like who you
are, that's okay.
We learn to love who we are andwe learn to like ourselves
(18:29):
through making the changes andbeginning even in celebrating.
I'm alive, i'm here, i'mspecial and unique and I'm
speaking to you.
This is about you and yourworth and value.
You are special and unique.
No one else can do you.
You is already taken and youdon't need to compare to other
(18:50):
people.
You don't need to measureyourself as enough against what
someone else's definition ofenough is.
You are enough and you're worthit because you are Period And
seeing your internal worth, notyour external worth.
So, taking your eyes offeverything on the outside,
(19:11):
stripping yourself down for aminute from all those titles and
achievements and labels and youknow whatever it is bio that
you're typing about yourself onyour website or whatever it is
that your you know company hasjust given you a promotion and
called you and fill in the blank, all of those things are
external.
They're external confidencebuilders.
(19:32):
Let's go back to putting oureyes on seeing the internal
worth of who we are by simplybeing.
There's a lot to celebratethere.
There's a lot of beauty andimagination, innovation and just
who you are intrinsically,without all the other, without
(19:54):
everything on the outside thatcircumstances and environments
can affect you.
Just you, right now, who youare, is worthy.
You're worthy.
When we truly begin our worth,we begin to radiate a new sense
of confidence.
So the worth being thefoundation of it all, and then
(20:14):
we build up from there and ourconfidence is not grasping for
security.
It's not shaky, it's not, youknow, short lived.
It's firm and strong andradiates a confidence that comes
from the within worthiness.
The within worthiness begins toshine and it's unaffected by
(20:35):
the circumstances.
So, as I mentioned about thelike the baseball game being
affected by the circumstances,winning streak or losing streak
and how they feel.
Well, when your confidence isbuilt out of your sense of self
worth, it can't be affected byall of that because it's
grounded and rooted firmly as afoundation.
(20:57):
And I also want to say that oneof the things I deeply
appreciated about the Ed Mylettpodcast that I was listening to,
which I just want to mentionagain, was called This Will
Change Your Life and bigannouncement with Jamie Kern
Lima when you're ready to hopback and listen to that.
But one of the things thatprofoundly impacted me but I
(21:20):
appreciated is that both of themcame about three quarters of
the way through the show.
They came to a place of talkingabout faith because for me
personally, my worthiness isvery much connected to and
rooted in my faith, which isvery similar to Jamie's
(21:40):
experience that she shares thereand her perspective on faith,
and it blessed my heart thatthey brought that piece forward,
because I can personally talkto you till I'm blue in the face
and that would be weird if Iwas blue in the face about
worthiness.
(22:00):
But my worthiness has alwaysfound its way back into love and
being unconditionally loved andknowing that I was created,
designed and thought of to behere and loved because I was
made.
And so that is part of mypersonal faith and I know it's
(22:22):
not everyone's experience, but Iwould nudge you to have a look
at really even taking it thatone excavator shovel deeper,
that one digging up of what ismy worth rooted in, and then,
(22:43):
when we truly believe, thatworth and all that confidence
can just spring from that.
So let's just say in my examplehere, my worth is rooted in
unconditional love and all ofthe rest of that can flourish.
It is not going to wash away inthe next windstorm, it is not
going to blow over by the crazywinds and hurricanes of life.
(23:06):
Remember that self-confidence isgoing to vary in our journey.
And when you go back and youlisten to episodes 57 and 59,
where I talk and build up allkinds of very good principles,
really important principlesabout self-confidence, those are
going to vary.
They're going to change fromperson to person, place to place
, environment to environment,changing seasons in our life.
(23:29):
I've had confidence shakingchanges where I was confident
one moment and everythingchanges and I'm back to square
one.
Well, all of that is externaland they.
We vary from time to time inconfidence, but self-worth
remains a constant, constantfoundation And in that we can be
(23:56):
rooted in deep love, respectand joy And we can cultivate
that sense of self-worth,unlocking our full potential,
living authentic lives together.
And in closing, i want to comeback circle round to where I
spoke for a moment on thefoundation of your worth and
cultivating that self-worththrough personal work.
(24:19):
Here's another nudge for youPersonal work in the area of
self-worth also has a do withsetting healthy boundaries.
Ditching the negative talk, asI mentioned, but setting healthy
boundaries and surroundingyourself with positive
influences, which could bepodcasts just like this.
(24:40):
Thank you for tuning Marijanelthe show.
Please see all the links belowfor my previous episodes on
confidence and also Ed Mylettand Jamie Kern Lima show that I
highly recommend.
I hope that you have learned alittle bit about the value of
you, the worthiness of you, thatyou are, you, because you are,
(25:01):
that you're worth it, becauseyou are that you would cling to
that this week and take a look,as scary as it seems, into the
foundation that you're buildingall your other confident
successes upon.
Thanks for joining into theshow.
Find my links below here onYouTube.
Do all those things that yougot to do.
Hit the like the bell, thesubscribe all that stuff, share
(25:23):
it.
I'd love it if you share thiswith a friend And over on the
audio apps, i'd love it if youleave stars review.
It helps podcasts like this Getknown and seen in our feeds.
Thanks so much And until nexttime, keep on in the full
potential of you.
You are worth it because youare.
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself the critical
question what do I allow todefine my self worth?
Today The Marijanel Show,we're gonna dive deep into the
difference between confidenceand worth, and today I wanna
leave you with a sense ofknowing your value.
Let's get to it.
Welcome to The Marijanel ShowSo glad you're here.
(00:21):
Let's get started with today'sepisode.
You all know that I love a goodpodcast that inspires me,
motivates me, and that Igenerally devour these podcasts
while I'm on the elliptical orthe treadmill.
So this past week I was on theelliptical doing my thing and up
pops in my Apple podcast feed anew Ed Mylett show and I loved
(00:47):
it And I need to talk to youabout what I got out of the show
.
Today here on my podcast, EdMylett had a guest named Jamie
Kern Lima on his show.
Then the name of the show iscalled This Will Change Your
Life.
Okay, and this will change yourlife, but don't turn off my
show yet to go listen to his.
Stay here and listen here whatI got out of this podcast, and
(01:09):
then please go devour hispodcast with me And I'd love to
hear your thoughts.
Jamie Kern Lima, Ed Mylett'sguest, is just about to release
a book called Worthy And shetalks about coming to a place in
her life of knowing her truevalue and worth as a person.
Even though she's a billionaire, even though she's sold a big
(01:31):
company and she's had all kindsof successes and titles and
recognition and validation, shestill had to peel back all the
layers of that external successand come to a place of
challenging and knowing andgrowing her own self worth.
This was really impactful forme to listen to because there
(01:53):
was an aha moment there whereshe actually reminded me that
there's a big difference betweenconfidence and worth.
And I've been talking aboutconfidence a lot here The
Marijanel Show.
If you hop back to the episodesthat I had in the spring
episodes 57, finding your itfactor, when I was asking
yourself what makes heads turn,what makes heads turn, what
(02:15):
shifts the atmosphere in a roomwhen someone confident walks in,
it's not bravado, it's notinsecurity, it's confidence.
And then the following episode,episode 58, i talked about
climbing to purpose and yourcall in confidence and
fulfilling and doing our purposewith confidence is just so
(02:35):
critical.
We don't want people out therejust doing what they're meant to
be doing with, like all thiscrazy insecurity.
We want to rise, to be peopleof confidence, and this helps us
to explore that powerfulconnection between purpose and
confidence and how they work.
And then, of course, in thefollowing episode I explore the
connection between our skillsand confidence and really
(02:56):
growing our skills.
But I feel like, as I broughtthis content in the heart of my
message to the podcast thisspring, it's like I started
building a house without thefoundation And I am here to
basically set that house asidefor a minute and say, listen, we
(03:17):
gotta dig the foundationbecause you have value and worth
and intrinsic sense of being,with or without any of those
accomplishments, with or withouteven pursuing your dreams or
goals, who you are in thismoment.
Just being and breathing, beingmade for such a time as this is
(03:41):
of value.
And that is something ofinternal worth, not external
measures of success.
And you know, i'm thinking backto the time I've shared it
before where Steve and I hadbuilt our dream house okay, and
it was a really unusualsituation And I was in charge of
subbing out all the trades.
(04:02):
I had this beautiful bar chartfor anyone who loves to organize
.
I figured out what a bar chartwas and I love it.
I just like to make bar chartsnow just for the fun of it.
But I had this bar chart and Iorganized the whole build.
It was the most, one of themost stressful things I've ever
done in my life And I do notknow if I ever want to do that
again.
(04:23):
But on day one when we dug thefoundation, we went over budget
and over time on the foundation,okay, and I was kind of
freaking out because my mind wasgoing to the end game.
I'm thinking about my closetsand mirrors and pretty fixtures
and thinking how I afford allthe finishing If I'm over budget
(04:45):
, like I don't know really overbudget, like 20, 30 grand over
budget on day one of diggingwith the machines And I had to
stop and remind myself of theimportance of the foundation
Because, you see, as you know, imean we all just kind of know
these things, but sometimes wehave to have this reminder that
(05:07):
the foundation is, yes, theunseen part of the structure.
It's hidden underneath and itprovides the stability and
support.
It provides the longevity anddurability and it's the inner
strength.
It's really what everythingelse stems from.
(05:27):
And I think about this time thatwe were also house shopping,
keep using these house wordpictures and analogies.
But we were house shopping andthere had been a house that had
a great layout, all thispotential, super fun to dream
about what we could do with it.
And when we really startedasking questions, the foundation
was compromised.
It had been kind of built nearsome kind of riverbed stream and
(05:51):
then there was like a crack andit had been disclosed.
But we didn't really know aboutit.
And all this long story.
In the end we realized we wouldhave a massive endeavor to
repair the foundation.
Well, some of us are in thattoday.
Some of us are experiencingsuccesses and outward
(06:12):
achievements external thingsthat are the house, so to speak,
but the internal, thefoundation, needs to be repaired
, cared for, and sometimes it'sbeen compromised.
And that is what I'm referringto today as our worth.
(06:32):
Our worth is the core of it.
All All the rest stems out ofit, and I not only see this as a
foundation, like where thestructure is built from, but
I've also seen it through theweek.
This picture flash in my mindof like a core seed, and out of
that seed comes all the restthat the plant or the fruit tree
(06:54):
could become.
But everything's enclosed inthat seed which is, to me, our
worth.
So the big question today iswhat is actually defining your
worth?
And Miriam Webster has a greatdefinition of worth, saying
having a sense of having worth.
And knowing your worth ishaving a sense of one's own
(07:15):
value as a human being.
That sounds so simple thatevery human being has a worth by
just being here, by breathing,being alive and being matter.
And we've talked about in thepast how it's easy to feel like
we're not enough, how it's easyto feel like we don't have a
(07:36):
place to shine, we don't knowwhen our time to shine, and
we're all looking for our placein this world really.
And that also can be strippeddown to knowing our worth and
that every single one of us hasa valuable, intrinsic part to
play in the grand picture, inthe whole entire beautiful,
(08:00):
broad way of life, right?
And so this foundation that I'mspeaking of today is me
challenging you to take a lookat your worth.
And maybe some of you rightaway are Marijanel , i already
know that my worth is shaky.
It's a foundation with a crackin it.
It has been forever and eithermaybe there's been a hurt or a
(08:20):
trauma or someone has devaluedyour worth to the point that you
believe it may be, as it hasbeen in my case.
Many times in my life I've beenthe one to devalue my worth.
It actually I've beensurrounded by a loving,
supportive family, and sometimesit's been me that has been the
one to sabotage me, and that issomething.
(08:43):
As you know, i've taken a lotof my personal work to the
journal, pen to paper, andreally worked out my feelings
and thought processes throughthe journal, which is why I'm
passionate about leading you allin journal exercises, giving
you prompts, and it's definitelynot something to replace
therapy or counseling, but it isa place to really work out our
(09:06):
own heart.
And so let me just touch for amoment on this foundation of
your worth.
Okay, cultivating your selfworth does require inner work.
We might go over time, overbudget, looking at this
foundation, like I did in thebeginning of building this house
(09:27):
.
You know that I shared thestory of where it requires the
inner work, and it also requiresa real shift in perspective.
Okay, so, coming back to EdMyletts's show and Jamie Kern
Lima sharing about finding herworthiness, reminding me that
confidence and worth are totallydifferent.
(09:49):
Okay, they're totally differentthings.
So let's just take a secondbefore I share more on the
foundation of your worth.
And what is this like,difference between confidence
and self worth?
because they do go hand in hand, like they're very much like
music singing harmony together.
They're very much always foundin the same place, like people
(10:10):
who know their worth aregenerally confident, and but I
don't always find it to be viceversa.
I find that sometimes there'sreally confident people who
don't always know their selfworth, and this is why it's
because confidence is thatoutside structure, it's the
house, it's what everyone seeson the external.
(10:33):
Okay, and if you think about allexternal things, external
matters, it is our achievements,our roles, our reputation, the
things that are tangible, ourmoney, our houses, our vehicles
and just like everything that'smaterial can, can build our
confidence.
And you know I don't playsports, but I love to use a
(10:56):
sport metaVors here and there.
And if you think about a reallyconfident let's, let's say
baseball, really confidentbaseball teams that are on a
winning streak, because they'reon a winning streak, they're
going to show up and play moreconfidently because they've been
winning and they feel greatabout it and nothing's really
(11:17):
challenging their mojo.
They're winning And so they're.
Yeah, that confidence is linkedto how we're feeling and it's
external.
Then let's say they begin alosing streak.
Well, it can be exactly thesame where they show up needing
a boost of confidence becausethey're feeling down from losing
(11:40):
.
These are all external feelingsthat are impacted by our outside
, external circumstances andenvironments.
But what's internal, the worth,the, the knowing for that
baseball team that they're goingto show up and play because
they're worth it, they belong inthe big leagues, that they're
(12:00):
meant for the big leagues, thatthey've been practicing, and
that that they know that it'stheir time and that this belongs
to them because they're worthit.
That is an inner knowing andinner belonging and knowing that
we're enough to be here.
And I gotta say you're enoughto be here simply because you
(12:24):
are.
You are.
There isn't anything to add orsubtract to that.
There isn't anything for me tosay you're enough to be here
simply because you areintelligent.
No, you're enough to be heresimply because you are wealthy.
No, that you're enough to behere simply because you are a
(12:44):
fill in the blank.
Whatever it is that you've beendefining your self-worth.
You could fill in that blank,but none of that matters.
It stops at R period A-R-E R.
You are worth because you are.
You're worth it because you areperiod.
That's my big epiphany of theweek that I'm bringing here, and
(13:05):
it's deep.
It's deep If you're justlistening or tuning in The
Marijanel show for the firsttime and you don't know what I'm
all about.
I am a mindset mentor who'sfocused on what I'm focused on
unlocking your full potential.
I am just in the midst ofstarting my mentorship programs
that are going to be availableonline.
My podcast has been going forquite a while now.
(13:26):
But if everything stopped today, if this was the end, if the
Mary Janelle show was over, ifmy programs never took off, if I
could say anything, that meanssomething from the bottom of my
heart.
It's that I'm here because Ibelieve in you and that you're
worth it because you are period.
(13:51):
Everything else that comes outof whatever fruit this tree
bears, whatever structure thisbuild becomes, is going to be
built on that.
That I believe in you becauseyou are Coming back to this idea
that confidence is of allexternal things or built on all
(14:12):
external things, but worth isbuilt intrinsically.
It is really important that webegin to challenge our belief
system in our worth, no matterwhat your outside structure
looks like.
In success, perhaps you'vebuilt yourself a glorious
skyscraper of success.
But if your foundation iseroding, if there's something
(14:35):
leaking and rotting and causingblack mold and ick in there,
this morning, when I was makingmy breakfast, i smelled
something and I thought, yep, ithink I have a rotting onion in
the pantry And there's nothing.
Like my nose, which you allknow is the nose of a hound, i
can smell anything from a blockaway, but I could smell
something in the pantry.
And so after this podcast, i'llbe going into the kitchen and
(14:59):
looking for whatever it is thatI've been smelling.
And you can have somethingrotting in the foundation, even
though you're presenting to theworld a glorious skyscraper.
And I want to challenge you totake a look and don't be afraid
to look into the inner selfworth work of building your
(15:23):
worth, of repairing thatfoundation, of where it all
starts.
There's a couple of ways to dothis.
You know I love the journalingaspect and, yes, i can put on my
blog some really great, greatquestions and some really
insightful things that will helpyou and prompt you pen to paper
.
But here's a few that I canmention in the podcast.
(15:46):
First, beginning to firstchallenge your negative self
talk.
Just stop the negative selftalk right away, because that
erodes your worth, because yourworth is there.
So here's another aha, yourworth is there, whether or not
you believe in it, your worth,it your worth, your worthy.
So every single human being, weall have this, this same level
(16:10):
field of worth, because we are.
And if you don't believe it andyou tear yourself down with
your, your self talk and yourself mindset, that actually it
affects how you feel about yourworth and it affects what you
believe about your worth, but itdoesn't actually change your
worth.
You're enough.
You're enough because you are,and If you don't think it,
(16:34):
that's one thing, but it doesn'tchange the fact that you are
worthy and enough.
And so just move aside, stop,say no to negative self-talk,
begin to recognize your sense ofbeing.
I want you to really begin tothink about your sense of just
being, not doing.
We got to take our eyes off allthe do and focus on the who,
(16:58):
who you are in your being andrecognize your sense of being,
not accomplishments.
So, yes, we all have work to doand goals to meet and things
we're pursuing in our life, andthat's all going to wrap us up
in the accomplishment and thisconfidence building.
But we have to do some innerwork every day to take a look at
(17:20):
that foundation and recognizeour sense of being and the sense
of being of the others aroundyou.
In case you are that personwho's projecting all kinds of
expectation and demands on otherpeople, perhaps you're feeling
to see their intrinsic worth, intheir sense of being enough,
(17:42):
that they're worth it becausethey are, and coming back into
that right relationship ofrespecting one another because
they are and I see so much onsocial media that makes me sad
about how we disrespect oneanother because there is that
sense of like, belonging,because we are, and we have to
(18:03):
come back to that because it'slike the basis, foundation of
love.
And the other thing you canbegin to do right now, to do the
self work, is celebrating yourlife, just being alive.
Celebrate who you are, even ifsometimes you don't like who you
are, that's okay.
We learn to love who we are andwe learn to like ourselves
(18:29):
through making the changes andbeginning even in celebrating.
I'm alive, i'm here, i'mspecial and unique and I'm
speaking to you.
This is about you and yourworth and value.
You are special and unique.
No one else can do you.
You is already taken and youdon't need to compare to other
(18:50):
people.
You don't need to measureyourself as enough against what
someone else's definition ofenough is.
You are enough and you're worthit because you are Period And
seeing your internal worth, notyour external worth.
So, taking your eyes offeverything on the outside,
(19:11):
stripping yourself down for aminute from all those titles and
achievements and labels and youknow whatever it is bio that
you're typing about yourself onyour website or whatever it is
that your you know company hasjust given you a promotion and
called you and fill in the blank, all of those things are
external.
They're external confidencebuilders.
(19:32):
Let's go back to putting oureyes on seeing the internal
worth of who we are by simplybeing.
There's a lot to celebratethere.
There's a lot of beauty andimagination, innovation and just
who you are intrinsically,without all the other, without
(19:54):
everything on the outside thatcircumstances and environments
can affect you.
Just you, right now, who youare, is worthy.
You're worthy.
When we truly begin our worth,we begin to radiate a new sense
of confidence.
So the worth being thefoundation of it all, and then
(20:14):
we build up from there and ourconfidence is not grasping for
security.
It's not shaky, it's not, youknow, short lived.
It's firm and strong andradiates a confidence that comes
from the within worthiness.
The within worthiness begins toshine and it's unaffected by
(20:35):
the circumstances.
So, as I mentioned about thelike the baseball game being
affected by the circumstances,winning streak or losing streak
and how they feel.
Well, when your confidence isbuilt out of your sense of self
worth, it can't be affected byall of that because it's
grounded and rooted firmly as afoundation.
(20:57):
And I also want to say that oneof the things I deeply
appreciated about the Ed Mylettpodcast that I was listening to,
which I just want to mentionagain, was called This Will
Change Your Life and bigannouncement with Jamie Kern
Lima when you're ready to hopback and listen to that.
But one of the things thatprofoundly impacted me but I
(21:20):
appreciated is that both of themcame about three quarters of
the way through the show.
They came to a place of talkingabout faith because for me
personally, my worthiness isvery much connected to and
rooted in my faith, which isvery similar to Jamie's
(21:40):
experience that she shares thereand her perspective on faith,
and it blessed my heart thatthey brought that piece forward,
because I can personally talkto you till I'm blue in the face
and that would be weird if Iwas blue in the face about
worthiness.
(22:00):
But my worthiness has alwaysfound its way back into love and
being unconditionally loved andknowing that I was created,
designed and thought of to behere and loved because I was
made.
And so that is part of mypersonal faith and I know it's
(22:22):
not everyone's experience, but Iwould nudge you to have a look
at really even taking it thatone excavator shovel deeper,
that one digging up of what ismy worth rooted in, and then,
(22:43):
when we truly believe, thatworth and all that confidence
can just spring from that.
So let's just say in my examplehere, my worth is rooted in
unconditional love and all ofthe rest of that can flourish.
It is not going to wash away inthe next windstorm, it is not
going to blow over by the crazywinds and hurricanes of life.
(23:06):
Remember that self-confidence isgoing to vary in our journey.
And when you go back and youlisten to episodes 57 and 59,
where I talk and build up allkinds of very good principles,
really important principlesabout self-confidence, those are
going to vary.
They're going to change fromperson to person, place to place
, environment to environment,changing seasons in our life.
(23:29):
I've had confidence shakingchanges where I was confident
one moment and everythingchanges and I'm back to square
one.
Well, all of that is externaland they.
We vary from time to time inconfidence, but self-worth
remains a constant, constantfoundation And in that we can be
(23:56):
rooted in deep love, respectand joy And we can cultivate
that sense of self-worth,unlocking our full potential,
living authentic lives together.
And in closing, i want to comeback circle round to where I
spoke for a moment on thefoundation of your worth and
cultivating that self-worththrough personal work.
(24:19):
Here's another nudge for youPersonal work in the area of
self-worth also has a do withsetting healthy boundaries.
Ditching the negative talk, asI mentioned, but setting healthy
boundaries and surroundingyourself with positive
influences, which could bepodcasts just like this.
(24:40):
Thank you for tuning Marijanelthe show.
Please see all the links belowfor my previous episodes on
confidence and also Ed Mylettand Jamie Kern Lima show that I
highly recommend.
I hope that you have learned alittle bit about the value of
you, the worthiness of you, thatyou are, you, because you are,
(25:01):
that you're worth it, becauseyou are that you would cling to
that this week and take a look,as scary as it seems, into the
foundation that you're buildingall your other confident
successes upon.
Thanks for joining into theshow.
Find my links below here onYouTube.
Do all those things that yougot to do.
Hit the like the bell, thesubscribe all that stuff, share
(25:23):
it.
I'd love it if you share thiswith a friend And over on the
audio apps, i'd love it if youleave stars review.
It helps podcasts like this Getknown and seen in our feeds.
Thanks so much And until nexttime, keep on in the full
potential of you.
You are worth it because youare.
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