Episode Transcript
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Marijanel (00:00):
Do you ever feel like
you're going two steps forward
and one step back, like you'repursuing your dreams but you're
not getting there very fast andyou wonder why?
It just feels like you'respinning a hamster wheel, like
you're not getting anywhere, andyou're oftentimes frustrated
and just wondering you know,when is this big moment in life,
(00:23):
this summit, this peak, evergoing to be attainable?
I have an answer for you and Ican't promise that you're going
to like the answer, but I thinkthe answer that I unveil in this
podcast today is worth yousticking around and letting it
(00:44):
ruminate in your heart, becausefor me it was a breakthrough.
It was a catalyst kind ofthought that brought me a lot of
clarity and peace andcontentment inside my heart
because, as many of you know,I've had a high bar, I've set a
high bar in a lot of the thingsthat I'm working to achieve
(01:06):
right now in my personal andprofessional life, and I've been
having a lot of setbacks.
Those setbacks have discouragedme, made me feel like I'm never
going to get where I want to go, and I've wondered if I'd even
see my dreams fulfilled in mylifetime.
And so, with all of thesethoughts of doubt and often
(01:28):
frustration, I've had to come toa place of being content right
here in the now and knowing thatwhat I sense for the future,
the good, the hope, thepossibilities it's there.
But there is a key reason why Ihaven't experienced it yet.
Here it is.
I can't promise that you'regoing to like this answer I'm
(01:51):
not ready.
You haven't reached your hopesand dreams and fulfilled all of
your achievements.
Because this, you're simply notready.
Now wait before you turn offthe podcast and you shut me out
and you say no, no, no,Marijanel , I don't want to hear
about not being ready.
That's such a negative thing tosay.
Of course I'm ready.
I was born ready.
(02:12):
I want this, I'm pursuing this,I'm working so hard.
Yes, all of that is true.
I've told people before I wasborn ready.
I was born ready to do all thatI am after in life.
But the truth is I'm not ready,because if I was, it would be
(02:33):
happening.
Because I believe all of life isa preparation.
It's a way of getting ready.
It's a way of experiencing thejourney.
If you think about thatmountain climber that we've
talked about so much in pastpodcasts, that that journey up
the mountain, it is preparationto reach the summit.
(02:54):
It is every step, one after theother, a getting ready.
We're all in it and, funnyenough, none of us are ever
perfect or where we should be.
We're all learning, we're allgrowing, and no matter who you
look up to as your guru, as yourmentor, as the one you think,
(03:17):
oh, I want to be like them,emulate them someday, I can say
this that I know from my ownjourney that that person too is
not ready.
They're not ready for what'snext in their life, for the
summit of what's to come forthem personally.
We're all in this, and so yourfrustration and that spinning of
(03:39):
the hamster wheel you can stop,take a deep breath and simply
say, okay, I'm here right now,in this place, because I'm not
ready.
I have a knowing of what's tocome, the good, the
possibilities, the future.
We talk about potential here onthe Marijanel Show.
(03:59):
I wanna unlock your fullestpotential through personal and
professional growth.
But sometimes we have to faceit we're not ready yet.
So what do we do about that?
Here's what I have to say weneed to get ready, we need to
prepare.
If you think about a mothergetting ready to give birth, we
(04:20):
go through this nesting period,this time before birth, where we
get ready.
Everything within us, everyfiber of our being, is preparing
for the child.
We know that's to come.
This is metaphorical,proverbial if you will, for the
things that you're to birth inyour lifetime.
There is a nesting time whenyou know, okay, I'm not ready,
(04:44):
but I'm gonna get ready.
I also think about the motherbird nesting.
If we talk of nesting, themother bird gathers all those
little twigs.
Funny enough, I was sitting onmy couch the other day and I can
see straight down a hallway tothe front door where there's a
glass window.
It's kind of faded out, likethe glass window is blurry so no
(05:07):
one can see in or out.
But you can see the light and Ican see the shadow of a wreath
on the door.
And as I sat there on the couchI could see little birds in my
wreath stealing twigs from thewreath.
It was really cute.
I just saw the little shadowsand I sat there looking and
enjoying these little birds thatwere nesting and it got me
(05:29):
thinking how very picturesquenesting is to the preparation of
all we wanna doentrepreneurially, creatively in
our life, that we need to gothrough that nesting time, that
time of getting ready.
But what is really key is that alot of us will naturally resent
(05:50):
getting ready.
We feel like we should be ready, we feel like it should happen
by now and we don't want to takethe time to gather, to glean,
to learn, to grow wise, to justsettle into our own skin and be
content in the now, lettingourselves get ready for what's
(06:13):
to come.
And you know, I've told youbefore in the past, as I'm an
illustrator, I had illustrated achildren's book in the year of
2022.
And during the year of 2022, Ioften updated the podcast of how
the illustrations were goingand a little bit about my
process of getting that book outof me, and you may remember me
(06:37):
sharing that it was actuallydifficult.
At times I felt like I had thecreative block.
I was often bored with the book.
I know that sounds not a goodthing to say about a beautifully
illustrated children's book,but because I was in the process
and I had to render so manylittle chickens the stories
(06:59):
about a chicken sitting on hernest.
I had to render so manychickens, I was bored and I lost
enthusiasm and somewhere inthat process I just lost sight
of the goal.
And then, when I reached thegoal close to the end of 2022, I
needed to prepare the files forthe printer and found that that
(07:19):
task was way harder than I everimagined and I needed to end up
hiring help to render the filesto get ready to print.
And by the time that Januarycame of 2023, I ordered my first
book.
And when it came so I orderedan author's copy and I needed to
(07:41):
see it in print and be able toapprove it so that I can sell it
online.
And I got the author's copy inthe mail and I opened it and I
had no, no feelings really.
I felt very indifferent.
I was just looking at it,seeing a few little things I
wish I could have improved,which is very typical for an
(08:02):
artist.
But I also felt like the processof creating that children's
book for an entire year and theeffort that I poured into this.
I felt that it had drained mein a way I hadn't prepared for
mentally or emotionally.
And then, by the time I washolding the book, I wasn't too
(08:23):
excited about it and, you know,the only thing that I could do
was to put it away.
Now that sounds like I'd givenup.
It sounds like I walked away.
But I believe that a period ofputting something on the shelf
(08:43):
and waiting is actually part ofour process of achieving.
It's part of our process ofmeeting that goal creatively in
order to accept the work we'vedone with our fullest gratitude
and most enthusiasm, that Iwould absorb and know the joy of
that creation I'd brought intothe world.
(09:06):
And so I put it away, and ithas been, I guess, about six
months now, that I even lookedat the book or thought about the
book.
And as I began to ruminate onthis concept of not being ready
and how there's been some otheraspects of my professional
(09:27):
career that I felt like I washitting my head against a wall,
getting things done, and it justfelt like you know, as I
mentioned in the beginning, twosteps forward, one step back,
and I realized Marijanel ,you're not ready, you're still
in the chrysalis, you're thebutterfly with wings, but they
(09:47):
haven't expanded yet.
And guess what?
That's okay.
Where and how do we get theexpectation in our world and
society that we should all befull wings, spread, full blossom
?
All the time there are seasonsand times of development and
this is what nature and historyand even scripture teaches us.
(10:12):
This is the wisdom of the oldage, that we need to take our
time.
And I'll tell you a funny, funfact I posted a short on YouTube
about slow growth.
I've been posting these talkingheads of myself with some
captions and little words ofwisdom that come here from the
Marijanel Show , and one of themwas me saying something along
(10:35):
the lines of I can't guaranteeyou a fast growth.
Going somewhere and achievingsomething takes time.
And guess what?
There were no views.
No one liked that.
I called it something like slowgrowth is okay, and no one
wants to hear that.
We live in a fast paced,microwave society that wants
(10:57):
everything instant, right now,and that is not what nature
teaches us.
We need to look around at theworld and see that beautiful
things emerge slowly.
And so here I have with me thesecond order of my children's
book Wait, darling, wait.
(11:18):
I'm showing here on YouTube allof you on audio apps can hop
over to YouTube perhaps nextweek, because next week I'm
going to read this book, eventhough it's a children's book.
I'm going to read it for all ofyou adults who follow the Mary
Janelle show and I'm going tolet you inside the pages as I
share my heart with the world,and if you hop back in previous
(11:43):
episodes of the Marijanel Show ,you will hear me touch on
different stories and aspects ofthis book where really it came
to me.
At a time that we were sellingour farm.
I was very impatient to move onin life and the story came to
me like it almost like flew withwings out of heaven and landed
in my imagination, and it wasone of the main reasons that I
(12:08):
found and purchased a littleorange kitten, who I have to
this day, and his name isRussell, and someday I really
need to tell everyone on theMarijanel Show how about
Russell, because he is a reallycool cat, but also he was a big
part of this whole story and how.
I don't know if you can seethis cat, the orange cat, here
(12:28):
on this page.
Russell is a big part of mylife and story and came to me
through the creation of thisbook.
And so weight, darling weight,is a story where the animals on
a sunny farm discover patienceand positivity, while chicken
has a big surprise.
Okay, so chicken has a bigsurprise and I'm going to give
(12:53):
away a spoiler Chicken is verypatient and it's something that
the other animals on the farmdon't understand, and you know
how an author can relate tomulti facets of all their multi
characters, like there's alittle sliver of ourselves in
(13:15):
every single character we create.
Well, as I wrote andillustrated this book, I felt at
times like I was the chicken,very patient, waiting, waiting.
Other times I felt like I werethe busy body, animals who were
nosy and impatient, pesteringchicken why are you sitting on
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your nest?
Now?
That's all I want to say fortoday, because next week I'm
going to open the pages of thisbook.
Now I want to tell you that Iknow for sure I've gone through
a personal transformation sincethe time that I received my
first copy in January till nowwhen I received my second copies
, because I put it away and Iwas able to disengage from all
(14:03):
the frustration, the tech issues.
I had so many technical issueswith the computer and the files
and the color renderings,everything it was.
That part was a nightmare and Ihad to completely step away
from that and let myself rest.
And at times this nigglingthought would come to me Mary
(14:26):
Janelle, you finished or youstarted something you're never
going to finish.
You have this, once againunfinished project of this
children's book, which in actualfact, it was a completed render
.
It was completed printedversion of the kids book.
So I finished the kids book,but I didn't ever take it a step
further to release it to theworld.
(14:48):
And I'm of the mind that anartist, a creator, an
entrepreneur, even you, weremeant to release what we imagine
and what we make to the world.
Without the release, we justhave treasures hidden away,
gifts hidden away under our bedsand in our closets.
It's meant to be released.
(15:09):
And so that niggling thoughtwas coming to me, because I
hadn't released the book, Ihadn't given copies to my loved
ones, I hadn't sold copies topeople who've been asking me,
and I felt once again like I hadbuilt a half done bridge.
Or you know, I just had thesehalf projects and it bothered me
(15:30):
.
But what I've been reallyrealizing about process and
development is that part of mypersonal creative process is to
put something away for a longtime.
I can't tell you how long thatwill be.
For every piece of art orproject it's different.
It depends on all the feelingsthat I experienced during the
(15:55):
journey of that project.
But what I do know is that thatstepping away, that losing
attachment, helps me to pull itback out and reattach, in a way,
more positive headspace andheart space.
And so when my second ordercame in the mail, I opened it
(16:18):
and I experienced joy and I'mI'm going to tear up right now.
And I didn't expect this.
I didn't expect any tearsrelating to this.
But what you have to know aboutyou and me, but you is that
sometimes we're grieving andwe're having turmoil because we
(16:39):
haven't seen the fruition, wehaven't seen the manifestation
of what we know is possible.
And in the time of waiting itcan hurt, it can feel lonely, it
can be confusing and the onlything we can do in the time of
(17:00):
waiting to keep our heartswholehearted you know, I spoke
in a couple episodes ago aboutbeing wholehearted in our search
to be wholehearted individuals.
The only thing we can do in ourtime of waiting is to wait and
to know this hasn't come to passyet because we're not ready.
(17:21):
And when I receive the secondcopy of this book, I opened it
and realized I'm ready.
I'm ready to put this out therenow, I'm ready to read it on
video on a kid's YouTube channel.
I'm ready to have other peoplehave this in their kids book
(17:44):
basket and enjoy it and I neededto come to peace with my own
art and my own place in theprocess and waiting.
Waiting is one of the mostmature, responsible things we
can do and our society doesn'twant to wait.
(18:06):
We don't want to wait.
You don't want to wait.
You want your dreams fulfillednow.
If you have a knowing that yourbusiness is going to succeed
and you're going to be wealthyand you're going to have all of
these crazy endeavors in yourlife, and you know this, you
have a knowing, but it's nothappening and you feel like it's
so distant and you're sofrustrated.
(18:28):
You're not ready.
You're here now and the bestthing you can do is wait and
wait with a whole expectant,contented heart.
And so, as I've shared the storyof my book Wait, darling Wait,
and a little bit about myemotional process bringing this
(18:51):
book into existence, in a sensenesting, and then realizing that
I needed to wait and as I'vebrought this forward in today's
podcast, I hope that it's landedin a place in your life with
whatever it is you're waitingfor, whatever it is you hope for
, that you would think of thislittle book and think of oh wait
(19:14):
, there's something to this,there's a breakthrough in
accepting that I'm inpreparation and I'm not ready.
And one more analogy, one morejust proverbial picture here,
going back to the days that Iwas a potter, and I love to draw
(19:35):
on this analogy.
I would often have unfinishedpieces on the shelf for a long
period of time, and sometimes Icould imagine them asking me
questions, as if they had littlepersonalities, and they'd say
Marijanel, why did that one getfired and glazed?
And I'm just still sitting hereand my only answer as the
(19:56):
creator is you're not ready.
I have plans for you and you'renot ready and I'm not ready to
move forward with you yet.
And so just be, just rest.
The time on the shelf is a safeplace.
The time on the shelf is aplace you can build resilience
and strength.
(20:16):
I have a friend who I've donemany podcasts with, over on the
bold artist podcast, and shespoke of a time, a season in her
life when her little ones werelittle and busy and took all of
her attention and she couldn'tbe the artist that she knew she
was meant to be.
She's a painter and she justwanted to pour herself into
(20:37):
paintings, but she couldn'tbecause of the stage of life she
was at with children.
So what she did was sheintentionally used her time
getting ready and she studied.
She studied the color books.
She studied the way materialmoved, even if she couldn't
finish a whole piece.
She studied her medium.
She studied her all of hertheory.
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I just dropped my book.
She studied and studied andused her time intentionally and
now she's emerged from thatchrysalis as an amazing artist
leading an online art school.
You can find us over at the boldartist podcast on the bold
school YouTube channel.
Check that out.
Links are below and you know, Ijust want you to know that,
(21:24):
taking from her story and mystory, find the encouragement to
use your time intentionallywhen you're not ready.
Wait, darling, wait.
I'm going to read it to younext week.
I'll see you there.
You'll find all my links below.
Get in touch, stay in touch anduntil next time, keep on in the
(21:49):
full potential of you.