Marked Safe: A Disaster Podcast

This week, Brianne is a reluctant snake advocate, the Reuben finally gets the exit it deserved all along, Melanie is bringing a delicious and trustworthy muffuletta, the US Military is roughly the size of a barge, Rock Lobster breaks down walls, and Subaru execs buy gay yachts.

Content warnings: snakes, homophobia ranging from subtle to murderous, homophobic slurs, beating deaths, 35:00-41:25 and 50:20-52:30 have particula...

This week, the US military's anti-gay methods always backfire, a researcher wants a do-over, lead paint poisoned papaws are too emboldened, Alfred Kinsey and Joe Exotic appear in the same sentence, and the government loves to watch. Thank you for your patience with some uneven audio this week!

Content warnings: comparisons between homosexuality and incest/rape, brief recap of topics covered in previous episodes, PTSD,...

This week, Oprah is wrong, Brianne drives the horse, Madison's grandma loves Jurassic Park, Lisa delivers the funeral kidnapping tea, Meagan's Grammy has a tramp stamp, Taylor has the best wedding gift, Serena is her granddad's favorite but not a limo driver's, Kaitlyn has a funeral crasher, Brianne keeps a list of Melanie's enemies, Sarah pours one (Dr. Pepper) out for a lost loved one, Bea makes an unplea...

This week, we're concerned this episode may curse you, Cody does it wild, Melanie is committed to the bit, Brianne twirls her mustache, and we continue our magical journey through Supreme Court hearings, an inventor's lab, an old-timey lesbian nightclub supposedly funded by a ring of hot rich butches, bedroom chambers with rose-printed wallpaper, a Navy YMCA, and the White House.

Content warnings: death of parent...

This week, Melanie settles for a blowie, Cody delivers a merely passable Tijuana hot dog, and we time travel to Colonial America, a Revolutionary War battlefield getting Queer Eyed by a Virgo, a gay shame parade, a Gold Rush-era gay B&B, the chambers of a US president whose attempts at wooing several gentleman have failed, a Civil War hospital, and a romantic streetcar on a stormy night.

Content warnings: brief mention...

This week, Melanie gets all of you naked for an announcement, we may have found the ultimate meeting spot, Brianne and Abby don't really want to dive in, we compromise on haunted dolls, Brianne is unperturbed by horrifying quantities of pterodactyl-sized bats, Melanie receives a permit to take liberties with the French language, we get interrupted by a very on-theme daddy short-legs, and scales on sheetrock make terrible white...

This week, Brianne offers a substitute hot take, birds do not respond to polite requests, hitting record has detrimental consequences, we manifest sexy spreadsheets, the truth comes out about Melanie’s dad, we look for a fun place to meet our ends together in Tennessee, and soon the Sleepytime Bear will crawl from the earth screaming, just like a cicada.

Content warnings: drowning deaths and discussion during disaster reli...

Content warnings: very extensive discussion of depression, bipolar disorder, and suicidal ideation that culminates in death by suicide. Discussion of the emotional state and inner reasoning leading to death by suicide, as well as its impact on family and friends, is the full content of the episode. This week is very difficult to listen to and we ask that you take extra care choosing whether to engage with this episode. If you need ...

Content warnings: very extensive discussion of depression, bipolar disorder, and suicidal ideation that culminates in death by suicide. Discussion of the emotional state and inner reasoning leading to death by suicide, as well as its impact on family and friends, is the full content of the episode. This week is very difficult to listen to and we ask that you take extra care choosing whether to engage with this episode. If you need ...

This week, Brianne blames it on space, Melanie introduces the neighborhood kids to gambling, Brianne loses her nerve at the laundromat, Melanie is a classic 90s cigarette mom, what amounts to an old timey disaster drag show goes incredibly wrong, and Cody’s lack of chaos forced Melanie to start an in-house chaotic man factory.

Content warnings: discuss of adults’/teens’/adolescents’/children's deaths in a fire in mode...

This week, vegemite belongs toward the back end, Brianne has a grilled cheese plug, Melanie’s thirst is quenched, a plane has surgery, Brianne is rapidly aging, and we want the best for the makers of Cosmic Yoga.

Content warnings: plane crash, mass fatalities, final notes written to family, the presence of infants as fatalities is mentioned without detail, delayed rescue, mother and child in very near-death experiences, me...

This week, Brianne brings you more Buckeye bullshit, Melanie is still vertical, we contemplate a bracket brought to you in partnership with Sandwich Daddy, Brianne’s cucumber terrorizes the world, the bracket ends with a controversial winner, you could put anything in a wiggler, Melanie is sending out a lumberjack fantasy kit, and the math ain’t mathin’ but that’s what happened.

Content warnings: gross discussion of dead r...

This week, we hear from the man with the world’s largest collection of Titanic VHS tapes, Brianne cannot stop the wind, Melanie and Cody are both tax tops, the Kruse family presents a disaster charcuterie, we unpack the possibility that Australia is a hoax, we’re all personally responsible for thwarting ants, Melanie finds the silliest tornado ever, Brianne’s origin story gets leaked, your cult robes are in the mail, and Squonk rui...

This week, Brianne plans for her next cohost, we finally identify Carmen Sandiego’s location, we begin an inquiry into Ohio’s lesbian farming, Brianne punches sideways, we get a crossover villain from the previous episode, Melanie is owed a chaotic man next week, Brianne will not be reading any car maintenance books, and Melanie is completely, totally, infallibly correct.

Content warnings: fire and crushing involving hundr...

This week, Marley enters her piranha era, Brianne must continually reckon with Froot Loops, we discover that there are two kinds of people, Melanie has a certain amount of knowledge about grave robbing, and we have a guest speaker for disaster relief.

Content warnings: deaths of children 13:30-14:30, flooding deaths, deaths of horses, brief mention of vomit, discussion of a movie’s depiction of sexual assault in disaster r...