November 21, 2025 • 13 mins
We trade the myth of work-life balance for work-life harmony and share how to build habits that fit real seasons, not social media scripts. We also get honest about the mental toll of entrepreneurship and how to decompress without guilt.
• replacing balance with harmony as a guiding mindset
• shifting percentages between work and family based on need
• releasing guilt when priorities change across the week
• designing daily habits that match your lifestyle
• movement, water, and journaling as stress relief
• naming the mental load and spotting pressure markers
• building a quick reset plan to prevent burnout
• choosing presence and boundaries as risk management
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:27):
Hey y'all, welcome to another episode of the
Marketing Happy Hour podcast.
I'm your host, Shelby McFarland,and I'm so excited to talk to
you guys about mindset andlifestyle of being a business
owner.
So as I am recording this today,I have had an insane week, and
(00:50):
my assistant said, listen, weneed two podcast episodes.
And I was like, man, I'm justnot in it, right?
Like I was just like, okay,fine, yeah, I don't really have
time, but I'm gonna do itbecause I want to show up for
you guys.
I want you guys to know that youcan count on me to give you all
the things about marketing foryour business.
(01:11):
But I don't want to ever comeacross as someone who has it all
together or somebody thatdoesn't have moments like I'm
having right now.
What do I really want to do?
I really want to go crawl up onthe couch.
It's like three o'clock in theafternoon.
My kid will be here in like anhour, and I knew I could get
like a nap in.
But you know what?
(01:31):
That's not what needs me rightnow.
The podcast needs me right now.
You guys need me right now.
So I really want to jump intomindset and lifestyle of a
business owner and what thatmeans in different seasons.
The myth of the work-lifebalance is something that I talk
about every time I'm every timeI'm interviewed.
(01:52):
I just did a podcast interviewthis week with somebody out of
Ohio.
Um, her podcast is calledMarketing Like a Mother.
I love it.
Um and she was super sweet, andsome of the things we talked
about was the work-life balance.
So I threw in there about how afew years ago, um, when I first
(02:14):
hired my business coach, I wasfrustrated because I this was
before I even had my kids, so itwould have been at least six or
seven years ago.
But I was frustrated because Ididn't have a balance between my
personal and business life.
I just felt like I was workingall the time.
Or if I wasn't working, I wasdoing too much family time, air
(02:36):
quote, too much.
And I asked him, how do Iactually find the balance?
Like, is that a thing?
Like, what's the balance?
How much time should I spendhere?
How much time should I spendthere?
And he told me, we're gonna takethe word balance and we're gonna
replace that word with harmony.
(02:57):
He's like, so let's talk aboutwork-life harmony.
What does that mean to you?
And I was trying to think, like,okay, well, when I think of
harmony, I think of how, youknow, back in choir days, we all
had different parts and thosewere called harmony, and so some
were high, some were low.
He goes, Okay, so then let's diga little bit deeper.
(03:18):
Like we think that a balance is50-50, right?
So if you have a scale andthey're both equal, they both
equal the same weight.
So if you have that mindset ofwork-life balance, you have to
give equal parts to each side.
So you have five hours of work,you give five hours to your
family.
(03:38):
You have 10 hours at work, yougive 10 hours to your family.
He said, So when we talk aboutwork-life harmony, you know,
some days you'll have 80% toyour business, 20% to your
family.
Some days your kid may need youmore, so you have 60% kid and
40% business.
And he said, you have to getover the guilt that if the other
(04:00):
thing doesn't come through orisn't the higher one, you are
not letting them down.
I tend to be a perfectionist,and I'm not sure if you are, but
when I am not giving 100% tosomething, I feel like I've let
the other person down.
And yes, thank you, I am intherapy.
And yes, thank you, I am workingon it.
(04:21):
But that comes back to theharmony, the harmony mindset.
I love this, and I telleverybody that I have ever
talked to about this mindsetbecause it's changed my life.
So today I have given so much.
Uh I actually we should justtalk about this week.
This week I have given so muchto my business so already, and
(04:42):
it's only Wednesday.
So I know that when my daughtergets home tonight, I have to
mentally check out of work andspend time with her because she
hasn't gotten as much time withme as what she really needs.
So that's been my harmony thisweek.
But then we come intoThanksgiving, and during
Thanksgiving, I'm gonna havemore time with family because
(05:04):
I'm gonna take off of work.
So I can't feel guilty that myclients aren't getting my
attention because you know what?
They're also focused on theirfamily, at least they should be,
or if that's what their life is,they should be.
So if you're wondering about howto get that work-life balance,
think about okay, let's find aharmony.
How much of this is gonna equalthat?
(05:26):
And how does it add up to ahundred percent?
And to know that it's not bad ifthe other thing is not getting
all the attention it deserves.
So let's talk about some dailyhabits of highly successful
entrepreneurs.
And I literally laugh every timeI even say that line.
Have you been on Instagram orFacebook or oh gosh, TikTok too?
(05:47):
It's like, okay, thesemillionaires do these five
things every single day.
Oh, and those five things aredone by like 6 a.m.
And then at 6 a.m.
they just have their whole lifetogether and like ready to
tackle the day.
There is a part of me that justwishes that I could do these
daily habits of all thesesuccessful entrepreneurs,
(06:10):
supposedly, right?
I want to be in a routine, Iwant to get up and work out
every morning, I want to do allthe things, but this is my
reality.
My reality is I'm a singlemother, so my daughter, I have
to get her ready every morning,I have to take her to school,
and then I can start my day.
(06:30):
And usually later at night, I'mon the phone because my
boyfriend lives two hours away.
So we have our time at nightphase timing, so we're usually
up late.
So being up late and then havingto get up early, there is no way
that my lifestyle is going toallow me to work out before 6
a.m.
And you may think, well, youknow what?
You could just go to bedearlier.
(06:51):
Well, what if I don't want to?
I want to spend my time how Iwant to spend my time.
So I decided, okay, well, then Iguess I'm gonna work out at like
in the afternoon because that'sthe best time for me.
It's a great way for me toreally kind of decompress from
the day.
I very rarely work past 3:30,anyways, during the day or week,
(07:12):
whenever I'm not as busy as whatI am right now.
But those habits that we see onsocial media of these big
successful entrepreneurs may notwork for us.
That's kind of where I'm liketrying to get out with this
point.
Just because we see that thosefive habits of that man, no
offense to the men that arelistening, that that those five
(07:36):
habits of a man that doesn'thave to take care of the kids
because he has somebody do that,um, can get up and do five
things before 6 a.m.
That fits his lifestyle, andthat's okay.
So I want to ask you, whathabits can you get in every day
that works for your lifestylethat will help you succeed?
(07:58):
If I don't work out every day,I'm not gonna be successful
because that is literally theonly way I relieve stress.
That's the best way for me torelieve stress is to work out on
the Peloton, I'll go for a walk,I'll do my strength training,
I'll do some TRX training, I'lldo something every single day to
move my body to release thestress and pressure of being a
(08:21):
business owner.
And that is what's gonna make mesuccessful.
Also, another daily habit ofmine is that I'm drinking water
all day long.
And a lot of these, you know,habits kind of seem more on the
healthy side, right?
Like moving our body.
So maybe a daily habit of yourscan be journaling.
You want to get up and write inyour journal every morning.
(08:42):
What are you grateful for?
And that will bring you successbecause then you'll be set in
your mind for the rest of theday.
That leads me into this nextpoint.
The mental toll ofentrepreneurship that nobody
really talks about.
It's so if you're a businessowner, you probably just took a
huge breath and like sighedbecause you know what I'm
(09:05):
talking about.
The mental toll of being anentrepreneur and a business
owner is something that a lot ofpeople don't understand.
They want to, and let's talkabout the people that may want
to start a business, right?
So maybe you're like, hey, I'mready to start a business, I'm
gonna learn all the thingsmarketing.
Okay, so you are thinking, well,I'm gonna have control over my
(09:27):
own schedule.
I'm gonna be able to do whateverI want, whenever I want, make as
much money as I want.
And yes, all those things areright.
But what you don't know isyou're turning your card in to
the company you're with now, andyou are taking the card of
mental stress.
You will think about yourbusiness every day, you will
think about it all the time, youwill not sleep very much at
(09:50):
night on some weeks, and then onthe weeks that you're slow or
the months that you're slow,you're gonna be like, Well,
crap, how am I supposed to likemake this work?
And personally, I feel like inthis exact moment, and y'all,
I'm just being so real with youbecause well, you already know
that's that's literally who Iam, but like right now, my
mental toll is so stressed andthere's so much pressure on me
(10:15):
with everything that I havegoing on that I know I'm about
to explode.
I'm like one of those champagnebottles that you shake up and
then like, you know, release itor whatever.
That's me right now.
And when I get into this spacementally, I know that I have to
find something to get out of it.
I that's why I'm gonna take offafter doing these podcast
(10:37):
episodes.
And also I'm going to make surethat I will spend time with my
daughter tonight.
We will eat something healthy,we will watch probably some
trash TV because that's like thebest, right?
Some kind of reality show.
But I know that I have to takethe pressure off of myself
because I'm in that mentalstate.
(10:57):
And after 10 years of, well,this business and 14 years total
in business, I know that if Idon't do something, my business
is going to um take the toll onfor me, which means that I may
drop the ball for a client or Imay not show up for one of my
team members like I should.
So it's very important that as abusiness owner, we know where
(11:21):
our ending point is.
We know where our stress pointsare, and we know how to take
care of that.
And if you're somebody andyou're like, oh my God, she
sounds so tired.
Do I really want to be abusiness owner?
Absolutely.
I think the positives outweighthe negatives wholeheartedly,
but it is something to show upand be yourself every single
(11:43):
day.
And it's important for me toshow that side to you guys and
know that, like, you know what?
I also deal with this.
Because sometimes we listen topodcasts and you're just like,
man, they're always so happy.
And I'm not gonna say I'm nothappy, but like I'm very tired.
And so I just want this wholeepisode to really wrap up and
(12:03):
know that as business owners, weare a different type of breed.
There is nothing out there likeus.
We are freaking badasses, okay?
We do deal with a little bitmore of that work-life harmony
sitch that I told you aboutearlier.
We do have to find some dailyhabits that work for us, but not
necessarily for everybody.
(12:24):
And ours don't look like thosethat are on TikTok.
And then the mental stress ofeverything, we have to know how
we are going to um take that andmake it better and relieve the
pressure off of us to know thatyou know what, tomorrow's a new
day.
I'm gonna put everything upright now and I'm gonna move on,
and we're gonna be even bettertomorrow because all of these
(12:45):
problems are gonna be heretomorrow.
So take a few hours foryourself.
All right, guys.
I hope this one didn't likescare you away, but um, it's a
really cool episode.
I love being able to show upauthentically for you guys, and
I will talk to you next week.
Hey y'all, welcome to another episode of the
Marketing Happy Hour podcast.
I'm your host, Shelby McFarland,and I'm so excited to talk to
you guys about mindset andlifestyle of being a business
owner.
So as I am recording this today,I have had an insane week, and
(00:50):
my assistant said, listen, weneed two podcast episodes.
And I was like, man, I'm justnot in it, right?
Like I was just like, okay,fine, yeah, I don't really have
time, but I'm gonna do itbecause I want to show up for
you guys.
I want you guys to know that youcan count on me to give you all
the things about marketing foryour business.
(01:11):
But I don't want to ever comeacross as someone who has it all
together or somebody thatdoesn't have moments like I'm
having right now.
What do I really want to do?
I really want to go crawl up onthe couch.
It's like three o'clock in theafternoon.
My kid will be here in like anhour, and I knew I could get
like a nap in.
But you know what?
(01:31):
That's not what needs me rightnow.
The podcast needs me right now.
You guys need me right now.
So I really want to jump intomindset and lifestyle of a
business owner and what thatmeans in different seasons.
The myth of the work-lifebalance is something that I talk
about every time I'm every timeI'm interviewed.
(01:52):
I just did a podcast interviewthis week with somebody out of
Ohio.
Um, her podcast is calledMarketing Like a Mother.
I love it.
Um and she was super sweet, andsome of the things we talked
about was the work-life balance.
So I threw in there about how afew years ago, um, when I first
(02:14):
hired my business coach, I wasfrustrated because I this was
before I even had my kids, so itwould have been at least six or
seven years ago.
But I was frustrated because Ididn't have a balance between my
personal and business life.
I just felt like I was workingall the time.
Or if I wasn't working, I wasdoing too much family time, air
(02:36):
quote, too much.
And I asked him, how do Iactually find the balance?
Like, is that a thing?
Like, what's the balance?
How much time should I spendhere?
How much time should I spendthere?
And he told me, we're gonna takethe word balance and we're gonna
replace that word with harmony.
(02:57):
He's like, so let's talk aboutwork-life harmony.
What does that mean to you?
And I was trying to think, like,okay, well, when I think of
harmony, I think of how, youknow, back in choir days, we all
had different parts and thosewere called harmony, and so some
were high, some were low.
He goes, Okay, so then let's diga little bit deeper.
(03:18):
Like we think that a balance is50-50, right?
So if you have a scale andthey're both equal, they both
equal the same weight.
So if you have that mindset ofwork-life balance, you have to
give equal parts to each side.
So you have five hours of work,you give five hours to your
family.
(03:38):
You have 10 hours at work, yougive 10 hours to your family.
He said, So when we talk aboutwork-life harmony, you know,
some days you'll have 80% toyour business, 20% to your
family.
Some days your kid may need youmore, so you have 60% kid and
40% business.
And he said, you have to getover the guilt that if the other
(04:00):
thing doesn't come through orisn't the higher one, you are
not letting them down.
I tend to be a perfectionist,and I'm not sure if you are, but
when I am not giving 100% tosomething, I feel like I've let
the other person down.
And yes, thank you, I am intherapy.
And yes, thank you, I am workingon it.
(04:21):
But that comes back to theharmony, the harmony mindset.
I love this, and I telleverybody that I have ever
talked to about this mindsetbecause it's changed my life.
So today I have given so much.
Uh I actually we should justtalk about this week.
This week I have given so muchto my business so already, and
(04:42):
it's only Wednesday.
So I know that when my daughtergets home tonight, I have to
mentally check out of work andspend time with her because she
hasn't gotten as much time withme as what she really needs.
So that's been my harmony thisweek.
But then we come intoThanksgiving, and during
Thanksgiving, I'm gonna havemore time with family because
(05:04):
I'm gonna take off of work.
So I can't feel guilty that myclients aren't getting my
attention because you know what?
They're also focused on theirfamily, at least they should be,
or if that's what their life is,they should be.
So if you're wondering about howto get that work-life balance,
think about okay, let's find aharmony.
How much of this is gonna equalthat?
(05:26):
And how does it add up to ahundred percent?
And to know that it's not bad ifthe other thing is not getting
all the attention it deserves.
So let's talk about some dailyhabits of highly successful
entrepreneurs.
And I literally laugh every timeI even say that line.
Have you been on Instagram orFacebook or oh gosh, TikTok too?
(05:47):
It's like, okay, thesemillionaires do these five
things every single day.
Oh, and those five things aredone by like 6 a.m.
And then at 6 a.m.
they just have their whole lifetogether and like ready to
tackle the day.
There is a part of me that justwishes that I could do these
daily habits of all thesesuccessful entrepreneurs,
(06:10):
supposedly, right?
I want to be in a routine, Iwant to get up and work out
every morning, I want to do allthe things, but this is my
reality.
My reality is I'm a singlemother, so my daughter, I have
to get her ready every morning,I have to take her to school,
and then I can start my day.
(06:30):
And usually later at night, I'mon the phone because my
boyfriend lives two hours away.
So we have our time at nightphase timing, so we're usually
up late.
So being up late and then havingto get up early, there is no way
that my lifestyle is going toallow me to work out before 6
a.m.
And you may think, well, youknow what?
You could just go to bedearlier.
(06:51):
Well, what if I don't want to?
I want to spend my time how Iwant to spend my time.
So I decided, okay, well, then Iguess I'm gonna work out at like
in the afternoon because that'sthe best time for me.
It's a great way for me toreally kind of decompress from
the day.
I very rarely work past 3:30,anyways, during the day or week,
(07:12):
whenever I'm not as busy as whatI am right now.
But those habits that we see onsocial media of these big
successful entrepreneurs may notwork for us.
That's kind of where I'm liketrying to get out with this
point.
Just because we see that thosefive habits of that man, no
offense to the men that arelistening, that that those five
(07:36):
habits of a man that doesn'thave to take care of the kids
because he has somebody do that,um, can get up and do five
things before 6 a.m.
That fits his lifestyle, andthat's okay.
So I want to ask you, whathabits can you get in every day
that works for your lifestylethat will help you succeed?
(07:58):
If I don't work out every day,I'm not gonna be successful
because that is literally theonly way I relieve stress.
That's the best way for me torelieve stress is to work out on
the Peloton, I'll go for a walk,I'll do my strength training,
I'll do some TRX training, I'lldo something every single day to
move my body to release thestress and pressure of being a
(08:21):
business owner.
And that is what's gonna make mesuccessful.
Also, another daily habit ofmine is that I'm drinking water
all day long.
And a lot of these, you know,habits kind of seem more on the
healthy side, right?
Like moving our body.
So maybe a daily habit of yourscan be journaling.
You want to get up and write inyour journal every morning.
(08:42):
What are you grateful for?
And that will bring you successbecause then you'll be set in
your mind for the rest of theday.
That leads me into this nextpoint.
The mental toll ofentrepreneurship that nobody
really talks about.
It's so if you're a businessowner, you probably just took a
huge breath and like sighedbecause you know what I'm
(09:05):
talking about.
The mental toll of being anentrepreneur and a business
owner is something that a lot ofpeople don't understand.
They want to, and let's talkabout the people that may want
to start a business, right?
So maybe you're like, hey, I'mready to start a business, I'm
gonna learn all the thingsmarketing.
Okay, so you are thinking, well,I'm gonna have control over my
(09:27):
own schedule.
I'm gonna be able to do whateverI want, whenever I want, make as
much money as I want.
And yes, all those things areright.
But what you don't know isyou're turning your card in to
the company you're with now, andyou are taking the card of
mental stress.
You will think about yourbusiness every day, you will
think about it all the time, youwill not sleep very much at
(09:50):
night on some weeks, and then onthe weeks that you're slow or
the months that you're slow,you're gonna be like, Well,
crap, how am I supposed to likemake this work?
And personally, I feel like inthis exact moment, and y'all,
I'm just being so real with youbecause well, you already know
that's that's literally who Iam, but like right now, my
mental toll is so stressed andthere's so much pressure on me
(10:15):
with everything that I havegoing on that I know I'm about
to explode.
I'm like one of those champagnebottles that you shake up and
then like, you know, release itor whatever.
That's me right now.
And when I get into this spacementally, I know that I have to
find something to get out of it.
I that's why I'm gonna take offafter doing these podcast
(10:37):
episodes.
And also I'm going to make surethat I will spend time with my
daughter tonight.
We will eat something healthy,we will watch probably some
trash TV because that's like thebest, right?
Some kind of reality show.
But I know that I have to takethe pressure off of myself
because I'm in that mentalstate.
(10:57):
And after 10 years of, well,this business and 14 years total
in business, I know that if Idon't do something, my business
is going to um take the toll onfor me, which means that I may
drop the ball for a client or Imay not show up for one of my
team members like I should.
So it's very important that as abusiness owner, we know where
(11:21):
our ending point is.
We know where our stress pointsare, and we know how to take
care of that.
And if you're somebody andyou're like, oh my God, she
sounds so tired.
Do I really want to be abusiness owner?
Absolutely.
I think the positives outweighthe negatives wholeheartedly,
but it is something to show upand be yourself every single
(11:43):
day.
And it's important for me toshow that side to you guys and
know that, like, you know what?
I also deal with this.
Because sometimes we listen topodcasts and you're just like,
man, they're always so happy.
And I'm not gonna say I'm nothappy, but like I'm very tired.
And so I just want this wholeepisode to really wrap up and
(12:03):
know that as business owners, weare a different type of breed.
There is nothing out there likeus.
We are freaking badasses, okay?
We do deal with a little bitmore of that work-life harmony
sitch that I told you aboutearlier.
We do have to find some dailyhabits that work for us, but not
necessarily for everybody.
(12:24):
And ours don't look like thosethat are on TikTok.
And then the mental stress ofeverything, we have to know how
we are going to um take that andmake it better and relieve the
pressure off of us to know thatyou know what, tomorrow's a new
day.
I'm gonna put everything upright now and I'm gonna move on,
and we're gonna be even bettertomorrow because all of these
(12:45):
problems are gonna be heretomorrow.
So take a few hours foryourself.
All right, guys.
I hope this one didn't likescare you away, but um, it's a
really cool episode.
I love being able to show upauthentically for you guys, and
I will talk to you next week.
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