June 25, 2025 • 48 mins
Lady P steps into the podcast world with refreshing candor, creating a judgment-free zone where women can discuss life's real complexities. Drawing from her 33-year marriage, experience raising six children, and personal journey from difficult beginnings to fulfilled womanhood, she offers wisdom that feels like advice from your most honest friend.
This premiere episode dives into finding balance between independence and partnership, maintaining your authentic self in relationships, and identifying partners who will value rather than diminish you. "If he fears God, he's not going to do anything to damage you," she explains, highlighting how spiritual values translate to respectful treatment. Lady P tackles domestic violence with particular sensitivity, reminding listeners that "your self-worth is worth more than having a man" and challenging religious contexts that sometimes enable harmful situations.
For single parents, she offers practical guidance on introducing potential partners to children and setting healthy boundaries. Her approach emphasizes self-love as the foundation for everything else: "You cannot lose yourself trying to be somebody else's it girl. You got to be your own it girl."
What makes this podcast special is Lady P's willingness to be vulnerable about her own mistakes and growth. From teenage motherhood to finding her way through difficult relationships, she shares how faith provided direction without imposing limitations. Her storytelling weaves together practical advice, spiritual insights, and hard-earned life lessons in a way that feels both accessible and profound.
Join us biweekly for conversations that promise honesty without judgment, wisdom without preaching, and community without competition. Send in your questions and topic suggestions—everything except politics is on the table!
Watch the live show on Youtube.
Follow us on Facebook & Instagram at @marriageinreallifepodcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, hello, hello and welcome.
Welcome to.
Let's Talk About it with yourgirl, lady P.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
I'm a little bit nervous, sowork with me on this.
In the meantime, we're going toroll that theme music Hello,
(00:47):
hello and welcome again.
And thank you so much forjoining me.
I'm so excited.
This has been a long timecoming and now we're here.
So today I just kind of want tointroduce myself and tell you a
little bit about who I am andhow this idea came about.
My name is Patsy Richards.
I'm also known as Boss LadyBoss Lady to my husband.
(01:11):
I've been married to mywonderful, wonderful husband for
33 years.
This has been such a journeythat we have been on for these
33 years.
It's always been some ups anddowns, but hey, we still
together.
Like they say on the LivingColor, we still together, but we
still together.
So I know there's a purpose anda plan that God has for us to
(01:33):
journey in this life together.
So I'm so grateful for him.
He has really encouraged me andhelped me to become who I am
today.
He's in my corner, he's mybiggest cheerleader, so I'm so
grateful for that man of mine,my Mr Mister.
We have six wonderful, wonderfulchildren, four gorgeous
daughters and two handsome sons.
(01:53):
Our oldest son transitionedback in 2006.
It's been 19 years.
We truly, truly miss him.
He definitely made sure hissisters was in check, so we miss
that.
And then we have our baby boy.
God has just truly blessed ourchildren.
I am so grateful to what he hasdone.
When I look at them I'd be likeI can't believe that I'm a
(02:16):
product of that.
And they are successfulchildren, never really caused us
any problems, you know, otherthan the normal bickering that
siblings do.
But for the most part it hasdefinitely been a joy being a
parent to them.
My bonus kids was always just aplus to add to the clan, you
(02:39):
know.
So that was great.
I'm definitely grateful forthat.
My daughters that I had hand inraising, you know I was I was 14
when my oldest was born and Iwas just a kid myself.
So a lot of the times I waspretty much growing up with my
children, you know, learning howto be a mom and learning how to
(03:02):
be patient and understanding.
You know learning how to be amom and learning how to be
patient and understanding.
And they, they I mean I'm sureI gave them a hard time.
I'm certain I gave them a hardtime and I gave them a hard time
because I didn't want them togo through what I had to go
through and so growing up andthem being patient with me and
me being patient with them andus growing and learning together
, we have such a wonderfulrelationship now as women.
(03:26):
They're still my babies, but Iknow they are women, so I am,
you know, indebted to encouragethem and talk with them whenever
they need me, whenever theywant my undivided attention.
So that part, you know, I'mgrateful for that.
Also, I am the oldest of almost200 plus grand and great grands.
(03:49):
I am the oldest.
I'm in my 50s.
We can just leave it rightthere.
I have so many cousins justunderneath me, so many of them
that I mean they look up to meand I can only pray to God that
I give them somethingencouraging.
Sometimes I look at them likethey're crazy, but of course,
growing up that's kind of whatwe do.
(04:09):
A lot of my younger cousinscall me auntie.
Now I used to say, well, whyare they calling me auntie?
I'm your cousin, you know I'myour cousin and they'll be like
it's just the respect.
So we know that that's stillgoing on these days.
People are still showingrespect.
So I truly respect and honorwhen they call me their auntie,
although I'm their big cousin,and I enjoy being in this place.
(04:30):
You know my grandmother had 13children of her own and each one
of those children developedchildren.
And it's just so many of us.
I stopped counting.
Every time I try to count, Ilose count.
So I know we're somewhere andwe're not at 200.
We might be very try to count,I lose count, so I know we're
somewhere and we're not at 200.
We might be very close to it196, maybe 204 or something like
(04:51):
that but we have a tribe.
We have a tribe.
So when you mess with one, nomatter how angry or frustrated
we've gotten with the other, youmess with all of us.
So if you don't want the tribecoming out, we come out like
Indians.
You don't want that because wewill come out and we will do
what we have to do.
I also have one brother and onesister.
Being a big sister has alwaysbeen a challenge for me because
(05:16):
well, as my brother must haveprobably say, she was a little
selfish.
But you know I have their totalrespect from them.
You know, I put them in placeand told them what to do.
There were a time when my momwasn't available for us and I
had to step in and parent them.
I think I was around 12.
I had to step in and parentthem and I think, doing that
process of parenting them onlywith the skills that my mom had
(05:38):
given to me at that young age itwas I was able to kind of guide
them.
And do you know what momcouldn't do at the time?
Because she, you know, she wassick and I stepped up and I had
to do what I had to do for them.
So I do love them dearly and Iwould have rather been a kid
(05:59):
than to be trying to raisingkids.
But I knew that at thatparticular point in my life it
was time for me to step up andbe the big sister and take care
of what mommy couldn't take careof at that time, and I'm also
grateful I have a great mom.
I was a horrible kid but I havedone more than what I could do
in the last 40 years to make upfor the problems and the issues
(06:22):
that I created and caused,because I'm pretty sure I did.
So, yeah, so that's about mom.
So the reason for this platformis my daughter-in-love came to
me and said she had a littletickle and that she feels like
this is something you know thatthe Lord had laid on her heart
that she should express to me.
And I was like no, no, no, thatshe should express to me.
(06:45):
And I was like no, no, no, notme, anybody but me, I'm not
going to do that.
And she was like no, I thinkyou could do it.
And I was like, oh, okay, we'llsee.
And I thought about it.
So it was eight months ago.
So I kept pushing it off andpushing it off.
I thought about it and I justdidn't know what it would, what
I would talk about.
So she spoke to me and sheencouraged me.
(07:09):
And you know, for those of youwho don't know, my husband and
myself we do a marriage retreat.
We have such a great timeHilarious, we laugh, we cry.
It's amazing the ground that wecover.
And some of the ladies fromthat retreat said you know you
(07:29):
should do this and actually toldmy daughter-in-law you need to
push her in the right direction.
So that's how we landed up here.
So one of the things, thatthat's how we landed.
So shout out, you know, to theladies just speaking with my
daughters they encouraged me aswell say, yeah, mom, you can do
this.
So, yeah, I want to just give ashout out to them as well.
So thank you, guys so much.
(07:50):
One of the things that I don'twant to talk about on this
platform is politics.
I don't want to talk aboutpolitics, and my reason behind
that is it's a lot of that goingon already A lot of negative, a
lot of politics, just too much.
It's a lot of that going onalready A lot of negative, a lot
of positive, just too much.
And I feel like we can have aspace where we can just kind of
talk, vent, if we need to justget some answers from one
(08:13):
another.
I don't have all the answers,don't claim to be.
I'll pray and pray that theLord gives me as many answers as
I can, but I just want to behere to make suggestions and
just to encourage you to, don't,you know, throw in the towel.
Some of the topics that we willbe discussing in this particular
platform will be first of all,I want you to know that this
(08:37):
platform is non-judgmental.
However you feel is how youfeel.
Your opinion is your opinion.
Nobody's going to point theirfinger at you.
No one's going to shake theirhead at you.
If someone puts something inthe comments that I feel is
inappropriate, I'm taking themout.
I have my sound guy take themout.
Either way they're coming out.
We're not here for that.
We're not here to spewnegativity toward one another
(08:58):
and telling people what theyshould do and if I was you, I
would do this.
No, we're not going to do thatdoing.
If I was you, I would do this.
No, we're not going to do that.
We're going to come together aswomen and we're just going to
have a little discussion aboutlife.
Life is hard.
It's hard Either way you lookat it.
You can be in Christ, out ofChrist, whatever.
It's hard, but the focus of itis to stay rooted and grounded
(09:21):
and know who you are.
So I'm going to run a few of thequestions that I send out a
little text message and had someof my people hit me back with
some of the things that theywould like to discuss and if
you're out there and there'ssome things that you would like
to discuss, just please, youknow, don't hesitate to let me
(09:41):
know.
Let me give a shout out to someof the people you know.
Don't hesitate to let me know.
Let me give a shout out to someof the people.
Hey, mommy's on the line.
Hi, mommy, thank you forjoining us.
Mommy Michelle is on the line.
(10:04):
Cousin Melissa, natalie, mydaughter-in-law.
Hey, nikki and Jordan is here.
Good evening.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
I really really appreciate thesupport.
Um, so some of the one of thequestions that was sent out to
me it was um, why what?
I give a shout out.
Okay, let me shout out toMelissa.
Hey, cousin.
(10:25):
I'm sorry, cousin, I thought Isaid your name, but I want to
get special.
Please tell Ty say hello, ok.
So one of the questions was howlong should you date before
marriage?
How do you not lose yourself inrelationships?
That's a good one right there.
(10:46):
Why does it seem like the rolesof men and women have changed?
I don't know the answer to that.
What value do you look for in aman when you're looking for
marriage?
I'm going to pause right there.
I had a recent conversationwith someone and I began to say
(11:12):
to her I said you know, whenyou're looking for quality in a
man, you want to look for a manthat fears God.
You really do, and I'm going totell you why I say that If he
fears God, he's going to dowhatever he can to please God.
You really do, and I'm going totell you why I say that.
If he fears God, he's going todo whatever he can to please God
.
He's going to make sure hedon't have no bumps in the road
(11:32):
when it comes down to hisrelationship with God.
And when he fears God, he's notgoing to do anything to damage
you, to break you apart, to hurtyou, because he knows that he
has to follow God, and that'snot what God wants for us as
wives, for any wife.
So for that particular thing,definitely, if he fears God, if
(11:56):
he fears God, he's going torespect, which means you will
respect.
If he fears God, he's going tolead, which means you don't have
a problem leading.
I mean following, I'm sorryfollowing.
You know, if he loves God, he'sgoing to, he's going to lead,
which means you don't have aproblem leading.
I mean following, I'm sorry,following.
You know, if he loves God, he'sgoing to be submissive, he's
going to submit to you.
You're going to have a problembeing submissive to him Only if
he follows God.
And I used to tell Eric all thetime you know, as long as you
(12:18):
follow God, I'll follow you.
But the second you startleaning to the left or to the
right, I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm not going to hell with you.
I'm not going to hell with you.
So I used to tell him that youknow, and not just to be, you
know, I guess, blunt about it.
We have to be in a unit wherewe're trying to reach a certain
(12:40):
destiny and we can't reach itseparated.
We have to be able to reach ittogether.
So that's you know.
As far as marriage is concerned, that's what I would say.
Only, definitely, if he'sfollowing God and he fears God,
he's not going to do anything todamage you, and we know that a
damaged woman, we can't movelike we need to.
(13:03):
We can't move how we shouldmove, because we're so focused
on the brokenness and what hashappened and what has taken
place that we can't move forwardand even think about it.
Even as a Christian woman, ifmy focus is on all the stuff
that you're doing to me, I'm notfocusing on God because I'm so
(13:24):
busy trying to figure out howI'm going to get out of this
nightmare.
So I put God on hold because Igot to figure out how I'm going
to make sure the kids are takencare of and all of this other
stuff.
So you have to be careful, youknow, when you choose.
You know a mate and choosesomeone that don't know God.
Because you know God and theydon't, they don't know God.
(13:46):
It's going to be hard for youto pull them to to know God,
especially if they're the typeof person that say I'm the man
and I run this thing and I dothis.
So, yeah, be, be, be carefulwith that.
Another question was what valuedoes a man look for in a wife?
I'm not a man so I really can'tanswer that question, but what
(14:08):
I can give you is my opinion onwhat he looks for.
I think a man looks for someonewho he can build a future with,
not his mom.
He's not looking for someone totell him what to do, how to do
it way to do it way to go to doit.
No, he's not looking for that.
He's looking for a partner.
And again, I'm not saying hehas to be a Bible-thumping, holy
(14:32):
Ghost-shouting, speaking intongues.
If he fears God this much, ifhe fears God, then he wants
somebody that he can build afuture with, somebody, he can
pray with, somebody, that whenthe goings get tough, that we
can get on our knees and we canpray together and we can get
through this thing called life.
You know, again, I can only goback to what I said in the
(14:55):
beginning Life is hard.
It's hard, you know.
It's not always perfect, it'snot, and it's not all.
How do the kids say sunshineand skittles, or rainbows and
skittles, but you got to gothrough some things so you'll be
(15:18):
able to look back and say, ohman made it through that one, we
made it through that one.
So when the next thing comes,it don't look so challenging
because you know you can make itthrough.
You can make it through that.
So not trying to be his mom,that's going to be the go-to he,
he gonna.
It's not not always what youbring into the table.
What you bring into the tableSome men, you know some some.
(15:38):
I also said in this conversationthat some men are intimidated
by independent women.
Mm-hmm, they are.
They don't know how to say thatthey aren't, but some are.
And my question is when thatindependent woman has been taken
out of the trash and taking thekids to school, picking them up
from aftercare, taking them tobasketball players?
(15:59):
She's taken on that role.
I got to do this.
So when he comes in, when hecomes in, it's like now she got
to start releasing those things.
And it's hard to release thosethings when you've done them all
the time, when you've been.
This is your routine.
You know summertime, you got tofind where they're going to be
(16:19):
while you work.
It's been your routine.
You've been doing it for yearsand it's hard to let go.
But you can let go one step ata time.
One step at a time, especiallyif he's showing that he is ready
to take on the responsibilityfor it, and that include bonus
kids when they come, you know,or your kids being his bonus
(16:44):
kids.
You know he's willing to takeon the responsibility and be the
man in a relationship and,slowly but surely, ladies, we
can let our God down, just alittle bit at a time, until you
know, until we're comfortableenough to know that you know he
could possibly be the one.
And so, yeah, yeah, that thatthat would be, um, what he would
(17:08):
want, not not anybody trying tobe his mom.
So I think that's veryimportant.
Um, and remember, you know,I'll also when, when, when.
The do's and the don'ts ofdating that was another one.
Um, so, and I want you toremember, the do's and the
don'ts of dating is, um,opposites attract.
(17:29):
And I'm going to tell yousomething my husband computer
technology all day, all night.
Yeah, me, me, check my email,do a little tick tocking, maybe
a little Facebook.
That's it for me.
I don't want to know how to putin a plug, I don't want to know
(17:50):
how to add in this, I don'tknow how to add in that.
I'm not.
No, no, no, no, no, no, that'snot for me.
What we do have in common isthe Lord and of course, you know
, raising our children camealong with the strategy that the
Lord provided for us.
But opposite different music,he's a diehard Prince fan.
(18:13):
I can only take a measure ofPrince After his Father's Day
concert we were halfway throughit, I was about ready to pull my
hair out.
I can only take a measure ofthat when I am a complete
diehard Whitney Houston fan.
Nita Baker, I like that, neil.
So you know he'll listen to itnow.
And that's one thing we do wecompromise, we compromise.
(18:35):
I'm going to listen to hisFather's Day concert.
He's had it every year for 33years, so I'm going to listen to
it.
I'm going to listen to it.
I'm going to be right there inhis corner make his favorite
dessert.
I'm going to do that.
But when we're riding and goingon our little Sunday drives, he
let me listen to what I want tolisten to.
So we compromise.
So that's something that I justkind of want to put in there.
(18:56):
About opposites really doattract Do's and don'ts of
dating.
When single, I would say whenyou're single, be very
particular about who you bringaround your children.
Yeah, you know, get to knowthem, get to know their, their,
how they feel about children.
(19:18):
Do really small, manyintroductions, many dates Do
allow, if this is the one, doallow them to get to know your
child on, I would say, basicallyon your terms, because at some
point, as that child get older,they're going to want you to
(19:40):
themselves and they'll put youin a situation where everyone
comes along.
They're going to want you tothemselves and they'll put you
in a situation where everyonecomes along they're going to
shoot them down because theydon't want anybody to take their
mommy or from them.
They don't want that, sothey'll make they'll.
They'll make it difficult foryou, um, to date.
But remember this, and this issomething that eric and I talked
about a lot when the kids weregrowing up one day these kids
(20:02):
gonna kids are going to go pastme, and then where that's going
to leave us, you know, and as asingle parent, one day that kid
is going to go and you don'twant to be in your you know you
don't want to be in your 60strying to find true love because
now your child is finallyestablished.
You know, set boundaries withyour children when it comes down
to you dating.
You know, set boundaries withyour children when it comes down
(20:23):
to you dating.
Let them know that you deserveto have some time to yourself
and you deserve to have.
You know I don't know if it'sbased upon the age of the child.
You deserve to have a friend orif they're older, you deserve
to have a romantic interest.
You know, if you get older, youdeserve as they get older, you
deserve to have a man.
You know, and this is the guyyou like now.
(20:43):
You know.
But talk to your children, beopen with your kids, and that's
one thing that I really learnedwith my children is listening to
them and just really talking tothem and giving them the
platform to open up and talk tome.
One of my children had asituation right before we moved
(21:09):
from Japan and I found out aboutit years later.
I was so broken because shefelt as if she couldn't talk to
me about that particular issuebecause I was so wrapped up in,
you know, getting moved andgetting settled and getting back
to the United States that itreally broke my heart that she
felt that she couldn't sharethat with me and that kind of
(21:30):
broke me up, that kind of brokeme up.
So and I have a husband, soopen the doors, make the
platform available, communicate.
Nothing is too, you know.
Nothing is.
There is nothing that yourchild should not be able to
speak to you about.
Now I have to tell you some ofthe things that my kids came and
asked me about.
I would die laughing and theywould be like, well, mom, it's
(21:51):
not funny.
But that was my way of coping,like thinking while I'm laughing
, like how am I going to answerthis question without making
them go ew, oh no, you know, andmaking sure that it was on
their level.
Every child has a stage thatthey go through.
Every single child has a stagethat they go through.
(22:12):
So you have to meet them attheir stages and answer their
questions accordingly to theirlevel of maturity, and it'll be
easier if you go that route, bycommunicating with them and
letting them know that you hearthem and you understand where
they're coming from, but alsogiving them a direct as to where
(22:32):
you are at this particular time, in this situation.
So I am going to go to thecomments and I have some
questions in here.
I will have some statements inhere.
I'm going to start with Nikki, aman that fears God, is
disciplined and has morals andvalues.
Yes, my baby girl, they do,they really do.
(22:54):
Hi, sexy girl.
Melissa said we are a superblended family and while dating
I didn't introduce Ty to my sonuntil after six months.
Hey, I mean six months.
That would be based upon howyour decision, and I think
that's great.
I remember when I was dating Ididn't introduce my kids to who
(23:18):
I was dating right away.
I think I kind of felt like I'mdating him, he's not the one,
so he don't really need to know.
Know my kids.
But then there were times whenI were dating and I introduced
my kids and it was not good, youknow.
So, yeah, hi, pastor Bar, howyou doing Compromise is key.
(23:47):
How you doing, um, compromise iskey compromises.
You know, in relationships, inany type of relationship, you
have to compromise.
You know, not all time.
You don't have to bow down allthe time, but it just come a
time where you have to say youknow what, um, I'm a foe right
here.
My girl used to say choose yourbattles, choose your battles.
My girl used to say choose yourbattles, choose your battles.
So sometimes you just have tochoose your battle and be like
you know what.
(24:07):
I'm not going to deal with thisright now.
I'm just not going to deal withit.
So you know, I don't know.
Another thing that we will bediscussing mom says you talk to
me about everything.
Yeah, some stuff you told me,pastor.
I don't want to hear that rightnow, but I needed to know.
(24:30):
I needed to know I remembergoing to my mom when I was about
12 saying mom, what a birthcontrol.
And she was like what Girl gosit down?
Mind you, I had a Barbie dollin my hand when I asked her, but
I had overheard my friendstalking about their sisters was
talking about it.
So I wanted to know what theywere.
So, um, yeah, I would talk toher about anything.
I wasn't shy to open up mymouth and ask about anything.
(24:51):
I talked to my mom about sex.
I talked to my mom aboutboyfriends.
I talked to my mom aboutbaptism.
I talked to her abouteverything.
I and I would just shoot itright out my mouth and no filter
, just say, hey, what is this?
And you know and I thank Godthat you know he gave me a mom
that loved him and served him,so she was always trying to meet
(25:13):
me where I was, and I reallyappreciate that.
But back to compromise.
Compromise is key.
You know, we don't have toalways bend and fold, but there
are times when we have to choosewhat's going to benefit this
situation right now.
Is it going to be worth it oris it not?
So we have to really thinkabout those things.
(25:33):
So those are just some of thetopics that we're going to be
talking about.
One of my pet peeves and it isalso absolutely sexy.
Girl says compromise and shouldgo both ways, and it is also
absolutely Sexy.
Girl says compromise.
It should go both ways and itshould.
It should not always fall onone person, and I think you know
, and I've always dated, so it'sbeen very limited time where
(25:56):
I've actually been single.
I've always had a boyfriend orsomeone chasing after me and me
slowing down enough for them tocatch.
So, yeah, so, but with Eric andI, it's always a balance.
It's a balance.
There's some things he has tocompromise and some things I
(26:17):
have to compromise too, and thatgoes with any relationship,
With a relationship with parents, with siblings, cousins,
grandparents.
It's always going to be amoment where you may have to
compromise and say, OK, you know, I can remember my grandmother
making me and my aunt cleanchitlins one day.
We wanted to eat them, but wedidn't want to clean them.
(26:38):
And she was like well, if y'alldon't clean them, I'm not
cooking them.
And we were like so I told myaunt.
I said well, you go ahead.
I tried to convince her to doall the work until finally my
grandma was like no, no, no, no,no, this is how we're going to
do this.
You're going to do this bucket,you're going to do this bucket.
So she kind of kept us in thekitchen and I had to bow down
(27:11):
because if I wasn't going to doit, my mom was going to pop me
anyway.
I think the last time I got anactual belt on my bottom, I was
24 and married.
She, she, I opened my mouth andsaid something really slick
which I got from her, and sheactually put a belt on me and I
couldn't believe it.
I was a married woman withchildren, but I deserve it.
I deserved it.
So, yeah, yeah, that part, yeah.
So those are some of the thingsthat we're going to be
discussing and I keep I don'tknow why this keeps slipping my
(27:32):
mind, but domestic violence isdefinitely going to be something
that we talk about.
I'm not a clinical therapist,but am a survivor and it's
something that I I felt like.
I feel like a lot of womenthat's in the church goes
through it and people tell them,oh, just pray for him and oh,
(27:56):
you know, he's going to getbetter.
And that's something that Ijust cannot.
I cannot stand on.
I always say that you know, ifthe church is God's bride, god
don't beat on us, he don't.
So why would it be okay for aman to be his wife and he's
(28:17):
holding a position as deacon orelder or bishop or anybody like
that, and not just them?
Domestic violence is all overthe place.
So I also want to make this aplatform for people to come and
share, and if you know they feellike they want to share what's
going on with them, then we canjust encourage and pray for them
(28:39):
and pray with them.
Yeah, so I see my mom says, yes, you have to choose your
battles.
And, pastor Bar, you are sotrue, that's right.
No one is a doormat.
You are not a doormat.
I looked at it when I was in mylittle domestic violence
(29:02):
situation.
I was like I feel like apunching bag, like that.
I don't know if it's ever lastor ever, I don't know what they
put on them punching bags, but Ibegan to feel like that.
And, ladies, we have to rememberthat our self-worth is worth
more than having a man.
Now, I know that Betty Wrightsay having a piece of man is
better than having a man, and no, no, having a piece of man is
(29:24):
better than having no man at all.
I beg to differ.
I beg to differ.
I really not have you If I gotto sit back as you beat on me.
Another question wasrelationships.
How do you not lose yourself inrelationships?
You have to know your birth.
You really have to know yourworth.
(29:44):
And when I was in my thank youfor that when I was in that
domestic violence relationship,I didn't know my worth.
I didn't know my worth becausemy abuser was telling me that I
wasn't worth nothing.
You're from the hood, you'rethis, you're that.
Ain't nobody going to want you,you lucky.
I want you.
Yeah, know your worth in arelationship.
(30:06):
You know, ladies I mean, I canonly imagine being single how
hard it must be.
But you know, take yourself ontrips.
You know, love you.
I tell you one thing A man lovesto see a woman loving on
herself.
That's key, because if you'reloving on you, you're loving on
(30:27):
yourself.
It's going to make it eveneasier for him to love you.
You know, don't say why don'tnobody want me.
No, it's not that sometimes,when you're doing your thing and
you're handling your business,you know it's me and I'll be
like, okay, well, she's notgoing to date me, she's not
going to date me, she's notgoing to date me.
And I was also telling mydaughter to date.
I said, you know, when I wascoming up, the guys that I
(30:53):
thought was cute, they neverwould approach me and I couldn't
understand, like, why theydidn't approach me.
I was like, you know, maybe I'mjust ugly, but the guys that
was so pleasing to the eye wouldbe knocking at the door hey,
it's Patsy, and I'll be like, ohboy, you know.
So those guys are really boldand they, you know, I'm gonna go
, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna justgo talk to her, I'm just gonna
(31:13):
go talk to her.
Hey, miss Burke, can I seePatsy?
Or whatever.
But you know it was mostly, youknow, the older guys.
And as I got older and, ofcourse, married, now I get that,
oh, I couldn't approach youbecause you was there.
Oh, that's okay, because I'mmarried now.
I got a ring on it.
But now it's like no, that wasit.
(31:35):
And sometimes we feel likewe're not attractive and that
guys aren't looking at us.
But really it's just, sometimesthey're just a little bit
intimidated and that's okay,that's okay.
So Sexy Girl just said when youlose yourself, it's because you
(31:59):
think if you this way or thatway, the man will love you more
and do.
Can we give a hand clap forthat one?
That is awesome, right there,that is so, so true.
You start standing.
The young lady that I talked totoday say I started losing
myself because I'm trying tomeet the need of what society
(32:24):
say that I should be doing, andthen I lose me in the process of
it.
I'm not happy, I'm not happy.
Huh, you cannot lose yourselfand you cannot transform
yourself to be somebody else'sit girl.
You got to be your own it girl.
You got to do that.
(32:45):
And you know, I saw a step whensomeone said they just went on
a cruise by themselves.
And it's so funny because I'm aTikToker, I be on there a lot.
I just saw a young lady justboard a cruise ship by herself.
She said I don't know what I'mgoing to do.
I don't know nobody on here,tiktoker, I'd be on there a lot.
I just saw a young lady justboard a cruise ship by herself.
She said I don't know what I'mgonna do, I don't know nobody on
here.
But by the end of that cruiseship she had met some people.
She had said she had a blast.
(33:06):
You know, um melissa says uh,my mommy always taught us
self-love, self-respect,self-worth, self-knowledge
awesome lesson I pass on to mydaughters and my sons.
That is awesome.
That is awesome.
I that is awesome.
I love that Because, at the endof the day, if you don't
respect yourself, how do youexpect somebody else to respect
(33:27):
you?
If you don't love you, how doyou expect for somebody else to
love you?
And you have to show yourselfthat love.
I used to work at this callcenter and I used to tell when I
would go and sit in there Iwould turn around to my, my
friend, cynthia.
I would turn around to Cynthiaand I'd be like girl.
This morning when I looked inthe mirror I said girl, you are
(33:50):
looking good today, hello,gorgeous.
And she'd be like you know what, get to work, put your phone on
.
But I had to do that.
I was like like.
You know what I had to.
I had to love me.
You know, in the process, Imind you, let's not.
I wanted to.
I have an awesome husband andhe's always telling me I'm
beautiful and, um, I'm sexy andyou know all that stuff.
(34:13):
And he, he always encourages meand and I love that.
But I have to encourage me.
I can't lose who I am becauseI'm a mom of six.
I got a grandmother of 10, twogreat-grands.
You know, um, out of all those,we got two boys, rest of them
(34:34):
are girls.
You know I can't lose myself asto who I am because of this
legacy that's following, youknow, that's following behind me
.
I have to know who I am andrespecting yourself and loving
yourself is going to be theultimate key, you know, and you
(34:54):
don't have to settle.
You don't have to settle, butwhat you want to do, you want to
pray.
You want to pray that don'tknow crazy people coming your
path.
They don't have to settle, butwhat you want to do, you want to
pray.
You want to pray that don'tknow, crazy people come in your
path.
They don't come your way.
You want to make sure that youknow that God is in control of
your destiny and your purpose.
You know I don't know.
You know who walks with theLord and who doesn doesn't.
(35:19):
But what I do know is, in thejourney that I've been on, I
came from a neighborhood whereevery other house was either a
drug dealer or there was acrackhead.
Every single one in thisneighborhood.
If your house and I hear you,if your house didn't sell drugs,
the house next to your not thehouse next to that house there
were crackheads in that house.
I'm gonna even call them.
There were people addicted todrugs.
The house next to your, thehouse next to that house, there
(35:40):
were crackheads in that house.
I'm not even calling them.
There were people addicted todrugs in that house.
And then you had the housewhere people went to church.
So you had, maybe out of fullneighborhood, I want to say
maybe 15 people that was churchgoers, and we had quite a few
churches in our neighborhoodthat people had made in their
homes.
But coming from that to where Iam today, who would have thought
(36:02):
I didn't?
I didn't.
So you know you have to setyour mind on where you want to
go, where you're going to be,how you're going to end up.
But I knew, if it wasn't forthe grace of God on my life, I'm
grateful that I was taken tochurch.
I'm grateful that I learned toknow the Lord for myself.
(36:24):
You know, I'm grateful for mymom.
You know as much as I didn'twant to go.
Sometimes she still said, oh no, you're going to church.
Even if you came in at 2o'clock in the morning from the
club, you're going right tochurch and you're sitting right
next to RJ where he's going tobeat them drums like a maniac.
(36:45):
You know you're going to go andI'm grateful.
I'm grateful that she did andwhat she instilled in me.
I took my kids and you know, Ikind of did it a little
different, you know, with mykids.
Okay, now I'm going to makethese kids go to Bible study,
choir rehearsal.
I little different, you know,with my kids.
Okay, now I'm going to makethese kids go to Bible study,
choir rehearsal.
I'm going to make them do this.
But I did tell them that theyhad to sing in the choir.
If I had to sing in the choir,they had to sing in the choir.
(37:05):
And they alternated their Biblestudy nights and they stayed
home with the baby, you know.
But I have instilled in themthat it's going to be God first
At the end of the day.
We can, we could talk about, youknow, the role of a man and
relationships and all thisdating, but I promise you,
ladies, if you put Jesus in thecenter of this, he will send you
(37:27):
someone that will Worship theground you walk on.
You will come secondary toChrist and that's OK.
That's OK.
You know so, yeah.
So, with that being said, know,so, yeah.
So, with that being said, ohyeah, I'm almost done with this.
Um, if you have any questions,if you want to chat them in the
(37:48):
box and we can talk about itright, quick.
Um, you, oh, somebody said allchurch men are not true men of
God.
That true, not all of them are.
But when you find someone thatfear God, if he can tell you out
of his mouth that I'm not doinganything to disappoint my Lord
(38:11):
and Savior, anything that's agood one, that's a good one,
yeah, yeah.
And likewise, and it goes viceversa, If a man found a woman,
(38:38):
you know you're sold out.
If you're sold out, if you'rewilling to walk with Christ and
have.
You know, have Christ walk withyou.
You're good to go and you'reright, not all of them are.
There was a situation growing upWell, my kids was growing up in
church.
We had a young lady in ourchurch that cried all the time
and we always thought she wasunder the Spirit, that the
Spirit had fell upon her and andshe was so holy and it was
(39:01):
wonderful.
Only to find out that there wastrouble in her home and it
wasn't in a good way.
You know it was, it was, it wasa violent way.
So you know, and thisparticular person, he was one of
the deacons in the church butnobody knew until later on.
But yeah, that is so true.
(39:23):
You just, you know.
Moms say, you just have to bewho you are and you know Christ
will take you under his wing andhe will.
He will give you, he will giveyou the desires of your heart.
And a lot of people get itmixed up when they say oh Lord,
you can give me the desires ofmy heart.
Well, when our desires line upwith what he desired for us,
(39:44):
then we get the desire of ourheart.
We have to line up with what hehas in store for us and,
honestly, when you give yourselfto him, he will transform you
to the desire that he wants foryou and you'll be saying, oh, I
didn't even realize I wantedthis or I needed this, but I'm
(40:06):
grateful and I thank God that Ihave.
So, yeah, yeah, so, yeah, so,anyway, that's some of the
topics that we'll be talkingabout.
That's some of the topics thatwe'll be talking about.
We'll be talking about so manydifferent things, even as far as
fashion and perfumes.
(40:30):
No topic is off limit.
The only thing that's off limitis politics, because it's
enough of that going on, like Isaid before.
So, if you have any questionsor if you just want to call in
and just maybe you have aquestion for me or maybe
something that you just want toshare, the number's on the
screen 754-222-2219.
(40:53):
I would love to hear from you.
And, yeah, just give us a callin, let's see what's going on.
And I just want to thank youguys again.
You know I really reallyappreciate the audience.
Um, again, like I said, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm new to this, so I'm
hopefully it's going to getbetter as it goes along.
Uh, I may end up having to havea guy actually come on and tell
(41:17):
us exactly what it is thatthey're looking for in a wife.
But I just feel like that wasjust my opinion from the outside
, looking in and with therelationships and the values.
Like someone also said, whatshould I value?
And again I mean I don't.
(41:39):
I'm not trying to Bible beatanybody, but God, he is the
answer, he's the key.
At the end of the day.
You can jump, jump throughhoops, you can jump through
hoops, but you're going to comeright back full circle If you're
trying to.
You know, serve the lord um.
Another story that I can share,um the um.
(42:02):
How eric and I um ended uptogether is um eric went to the
military after the twins werewell before the twins were born.
And no, we broke up and I wentto my mom when I found I was
pregnant.
When Eric and I broke up and Iwent to my mom and I'm crying,
I'm like, oh my god, mom, I'mhaving, I was 20 and I was going
(42:26):
to have another baby and I waslike, oh my god, mom, what am I
gonna do?
What?
What am I gonna do, crying tomy mom like this is this is
crazy.
And um said you know, you justgotta let him go and I was like,
okay, but you know, you gottalet him go and that was one of
(42:50):
the hardest things to do.
She say, if it's meant to be.
She say it'll be.
And I'm looking at her like,are you, are you mad, it'll be.
And I'm looking at her like,are you, are you mad woman?
I'm about to have a set oftwins and and I have a
(43:12):
four-year-old and I'm only 20,this, this, this was like I
didn't think I was going to beable to ever get past that.
And Eric went to the militaryand I went on about my business.
I was like once, once thosebabies drop, I hit the club
scene, business.
I was like once, once thosebabies drop, I hit the club
scene.
I was doing what I was doingand having a good time.
I worked, but on Friday andSaturday I was trying to be out,
but Sunday morning mom madesure I was at church.
So you know I did that and, um,just a full circle, eric and I
(43:36):
ended up.
I think the twins were threewhen we ended up back together.
By the time the twins turnedfour, eric and I was married,
and I said that to say this thatsometimes you don't know the
plans that God has for you and Ihonestly feel like, had we
(43:56):
gotten married at that time, weprobably would have divorced.
But I think God set it up.
He's so divine that he set itup where it would work out
behind, when he was workingbehind the scenes.
That's a good guy.
He's always working behind thescenes and he was working behind
the scenes and we ended up backtogether.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
This call may be recorded or transcribed.
Speaker 1 (44:20):
And we ended up married and now it's 33 years,
so I am grateful for that.
So there is someone there.
It's someone for everyone.
God has your path chosen foryou.
Don't go out If you go to theclub to find a husband, where
your husband going to want to goon Friday nights To the club,
and not to say that if you findhim in the church, he's going to
want to go on Friday nights tothe club, and not to say that if
you find him in the church,he's going to always want to be
(44:41):
in the church either.
You just have to have a balanceof what you're looking for and
which direction God is guidingyou.
So, yeah, okay, I got a caller.
Yay, go ahead caller.
Hey, cousin Patsy, I'm a caller.
Yay, go ahead, caller.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
Hey, Cousin Tati, I'm so proud of you.
Hi, Cousin, hey Tati andeverybody, hey, Tati and
everybody.
So look, girl, I'm calling infrom New Orleans.
I told my husband to say hi toeverybody, but I just have to
let you know I love you.
You've always been a wonderfulexample for all of your younger
(45:24):
cousins all of you.
Even though you bullied us,you're a wonderful example.
You turned out to be awonderful woman with wonderful
kids all of them and I'm just soproud of you.
So, wishing you the best always, I love you and I just know
this is going to be a wonderful,wonderful podcast, so keep
(45:44):
doing your thing, Kevin, youknow I love you girl.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
I love you too.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for calling.
I don't have a question.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
Yeah, I just.
I don't have a question oranything.
I just want you to know howproud I am and you know, just
say hi to Cause I know she's onand just tell you I love you
girl and you doing your thing.
I'm proud of you.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
Thank you so much.
Cause then I love you too.
Thanks for calling in.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Of course I'm still tuning in.
Love everybody, love you too.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
Bye, cousin, all right, bye, bye, oh.
Oh, that's so awesome.
You know what I had?
To bully them because theydidn't listen.
They didn't listen, so I had togive it to them but that's okay
.
Thank you so much for calling in.
You know I love you.
(46:31):
This one's a real traveler here.
I'm gonna be like her when Igrow up, okay, well, if we don't
have any more, if we don't haveany more questions, we're just
going to go ahead and wrap upand we'll be tuning in in two
weeks.
Let me see the date on that.
Thank you so much for joining.
I really appreciate that.
(46:51):
Okay, so we're looking at.
Oh, this is one thing.
If you are interested, I wastold that Monday is at the
beginning of the week and peoplejust really trying to get back
into their mojos for the workweek.
If you guys would like to dothis podcast on another day, the
only day that I'm not availableto do it will be Wednesday
because it's Bible study night,but Thursday may be going into
(47:12):
the weekend.
Friday night is date night, soit would have to either be
Monday, tuesday or Thursday.
So hit me up in the chat boxand let me know what works for
you.
If monday is good for you,monday is good for me.
Um, until we get a marriage onpodcast going up and if you
haven't, if you know anyonethere thank you so much for
joining me.
I really appreciate it likethat's a good podcast um to
(47:36):
watch so great ideas on um ideasand suggestions and make sure
you like and share.
Thank you.
Hello, hello, hello and welcome.
Welcome to.
Let's Talk About it with yourgirl, lady P.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
I'm a little bit nervous, sowork with me on this.
In the meantime, we're going toroll that theme music Hello,
(00:47):
hello and welcome again.
And thank you so much forjoining me.
I'm so excited.
This has been a long timecoming and now we're here.
So today I just kind of want tointroduce myself and tell you a
little bit about who I am andhow this idea came about.
My name is Patsy Richards.
I'm also known as Boss LadyBoss Lady to my husband.
(01:11):
I've been married to mywonderful, wonderful husband for
33 years.
This has been such a journeythat we have been on for these
33 years.
It's always been some ups anddowns, but hey, we still
together.
Like they say on the LivingColor, we still together, but we
still together.
So I know there's a purpose anda plan that God has for us to
(01:33):
journey in this life together.
So I'm so grateful for him.
He has really encouraged me andhelped me to become who I am
today.
He's in my corner, he's mybiggest cheerleader, so I'm so
grateful for that man of mine,my Mr Mister.
We have six wonderful, wonderfulchildren, four gorgeous
daughters and two handsome sons.
(01:53):
Our oldest son transitionedback in 2006.
It's been 19 years.
We truly, truly miss him.
He definitely made sure hissisters was in check, so we miss
that.
And then we have our baby boy.
God has just truly blessed ourchildren.
I am so grateful to what he hasdone.
When I look at them I'd be likeI can't believe that I'm a
(02:16):
product of that.
And they are successfulchildren, never really caused us
any problems, you know, otherthan the normal bickering that
siblings do.
But for the most part it hasdefinitely been a joy being a
parent to them.
My bonus kids was always just aplus to add to the clan, you
(02:39):
know.
So that was great.
I'm definitely grateful forthat.
My daughters that I had hand inraising, you know I was I was 14
when my oldest was born and Iwas just a kid myself.
So a lot of the times I waspretty much growing up with my
children, you know, learning howto be a mom and learning how to
(03:02):
be patient and understanding.
You know learning how to be amom and learning how to be
patient and understanding.
And they, they I mean I'm sureI gave them a hard time.
I'm certain I gave them a hardtime and I gave them a hard time
because I didn't want them togo through what I had to go
through and so growing up andthem being patient with me and
me being patient with them andus growing and learning together
, we have such a wonderfulrelationship now as women.
(03:26):
They're still my babies, but Iknow they are women, so I am,
you know, indebted to encouragethem and talk with them whenever
they need me, whenever theywant my undivided attention.
So that part, you know, I'mgrateful for that.
Also, I am the oldest of almost200 plus grand and great grands.
(03:49):
I am the oldest.
I'm in my 50s.
We can just leave it rightthere.
I have so many cousins justunderneath me, so many of them
that I mean they look up to meand I can only pray to God that
I give them somethingencouraging.
Sometimes I look at them likethey're crazy, but of course,
growing up that's kind of whatwe do.
(04:09):
A lot of my younger cousinscall me auntie.
Now I used to say, well, whyare they calling me auntie?
I'm your cousin, you know I'myour cousin and they'll be like
it's just the respect.
So we know that that's stillgoing on these days.
People are still showingrespect.
So I truly respect and honorwhen they call me their auntie,
although I'm their big cousin,and I enjoy being in this place.
(04:30):
You know my grandmother had 13children of her own and each one
of those children developedchildren.
And it's just so many of us.
I stopped counting.
Every time I try to count, Ilose count.
So I know we're somewhere andwe're not at 200.
We might be very try to count,I lose count, so I know we're
somewhere and we're not at 200.
We might be very close to it196, maybe 204 or something like
(04:51):
that but we have a tribe.
We have a tribe.
So when you mess with one, nomatter how angry or frustrated
we've gotten with the other, youmess with all of us.
So if you don't want the tribecoming out, we come out like
Indians.
You don't want that because wewill come out and we will do
what we have to do.
I also have one brother and onesister.
Being a big sister has alwaysbeen a challenge for me because
(05:16):
well, as my brother must haveprobably say, she was a little
selfish.
But you know I have their totalrespect from them.
You know, I put them in placeand told them what to do.
There were a time when my momwasn't available for us and I
had to step in and parent them.
I think I was around 12.
I had to step in and parentthem and I think, doing that
process of parenting them onlywith the skills that my mom had
(05:38):
given to me at that young age itwas I was able to kind of guide
them.
And do you know what momcouldn't do at the time?
Because she, you know, she wassick and I stepped up and I had
to do what I had to do for them.
So I do love them dearly and Iwould have rather been a kid
(05:59):
than to be trying to raisingkids.
But I knew that at thatparticular point in my life it
was time for me to step up andbe the big sister and take care
of what mommy couldn't take careof at that time, and I'm also
grateful I have a great mom.
I was a horrible kid but I havedone more than what I could do
in the last 40 years to make upfor the problems and the issues
(06:22):
that I created and caused,because I'm pretty sure I did.
So, yeah, so that's about mom.
So the reason for this platformis my daughter-in-love came to
me and said she had a littletickle and that she feels like
this is something you know thatthe Lord had laid on her heart
that she should express to me.
And I was like no, no, no, thatshe should express to me.
(06:45):
And I was like no, no, no, notme, anybody but me, I'm not
going to do that.
And she was like no, I thinkyou could do it.
And I was like, oh, okay, we'llsee.
And I thought about it.
So it was eight months ago.
So I kept pushing it off andpushing it off.
I thought about it and I justdidn't know what it would, what
I would talk about.
So she spoke to me and sheencouraged me.
(07:09):
And you know, for those of youwho don't know, my husband and
myself we do a marriage retreat.
We have such a great timeHilarious, we laugh, we cry.
It's amazing the ground that wecover.
And some of the ladies fromthat retreat said you know you
(07:29):
should do this and actually toldmy daughter-in-law you need to
push her in the right direction.
So that's how we landed up here.
So one of the things, thatthat's how we landed.
So shout out, you know, to theladies just speaking with my
daughters they encouraged me aswell say, yeah, mom, you can do
this.
So, yeah, I want to just give ashout out to them as well.
So thank you, guys so much.
(07:50):
One of the things that I don'twant to talk about on this
platform is politics.
I don't want to talk aboutpolitics, and my reason behind
that is it's a lot of that goingon already A lot of negative, a
lot of politics, just too much.
It's a lot of that going onalready A lot of negative, a lot
of positive, just too much.
And I feel like we can have aspace where we can just kind of
talk, vent, if we need to justget some answers from one
(08:13):
another.
I don't have all the answers,don't claim to be.
I'll pray and pray that theLord gives me as many answers as
I can, but I just want to behere to make suggestions and
just to encourage you to, don't,you know, throw in the towel.
Some of the topics that we willbe discussing in this particular
platform will be first of all,I want you to know that this
(08:37):
platform is non-judgmental.
However you feel is how youfeel.
Your opinion is your opinion.
Nobody's going to point theirfinger at you.
No one's going to shake theirhead at you.
If someone puts something inthe comments that I feel is
inappropriate, I'm taking themout.
I have my sound guy take themout.
Either way they're coming out.
We're not here for that.
We're not here to spewnegativity toward one another
(08:58):
and telling people what theyshould do and if I was you, I
would do this.
No, we're not going to do thatdoing.
If I was you, I would do this.
No, we're not going to do that.
We're going to come together aswomen and we're just going to
have a little discussion aboutlife.
Life is hard.
It's hard Either way you lookat it.
You can be in Christ, out ofChrist, whatever.
It's hard, but the focus of itis to stay rooted and grounded
(09:21):
and know who you are.
So I'm going to run a few of thequestions that I send out a
little text message and had someof my people hit me back with
some of the things that theywould like to discuss and if
you're out there and there'ssome things that you would like
to discuss, just please, youknow, don't hesitate to let me
(09:41):
know.
Let me give a shout out to someof the people you know.
Don't hesitate to let me know.
Let me give a shout out to someof the people.
Hey, mommy's on the line.
Hi, mommy, thank you forjoining us.
Mommy Michelle is on the line.
(10:04):
Cousin Melissa, natalie, mydaughter-in-law.
Hey, nikki and Jordan is here.
Good evening.
Thank you so much for joiningme.
I really really appreciate thesupport.
Um, so some of the one of thequestions that was sent out to
me it was um, why what?
I give a shout out.
Okay, let me shout out toMelissa.
Hey, cousin.
(10:25):
I'm sorry, cousin, I thought Isaid your name, but I want to
get special.
Please tell Ty say hello, ok.
So one of the questions was howlong should you date before
marriage?
How do you not lose yourself inrelationships?
That's a good one right there.
(10:46):
Why does it seem like the rolesof men and women have changed?
I don't know the answer to that.
What value do you look for in aman when you're looking for
marriage?
I'm going to pause right there.
I had a recent conversationwith someone and I began to say
(11:12):
to her I said you know, whenyou're looking for quality in a
man, you want to look for a manthat fears God.
You really do, and I'm going totell you why I say that If he
fears God, he's going to dowhatever he can to please God.
You really do, and I'm going totell you why I say that.
If he fears God, he's going todo whatever he can to please God
.
He's going to make sure hedon't have no bumps in the road
(11:32):
when it comes down to hisrelationship with God.
And when he fears God, he's notgoing to do anything to damage
you, to break you apart, to hurtyou, because he knows that he
has to follow God, and that'snot what God wants for us as
wives, for any wife.
So for that particular thing,definitely, if he fears God, if
(11:56):
he fears God, he's going torespect, which means you will
respect.
If he fears God, he's going tolead, which means you don't have
a problem leading.
I mean following, I'm sorryfollowing.
You know, if he loves God, he'sgoing to, he's going to lead,
which means you don't have aproblem leading.
I mean following, I'm sorry,following.
You know, if he loves God, he'sgoing to be submissive, he's
going to submit to you.
You're going to have a problembeing submissive to him Only if
he follows God.
And I used to tell Eric all thetime you know, as long as you
(12:18):
follow God, I'll follow you.
But the second you startleaning to the left or to the
right, I'm out.
I'm out.
I'm not going to hell with you.
I'm not going to hell with you.
So I used to tell him that youknow, and not just to be, you
know, I guess, blunt about it.
We have to be in a unit wherewe're trying to reach a certain
(12:40):
destiny and we can't reach itseparated.
We have to be able to reach ittogether.
So that's you know.
As far as marriage is concerned, that's what I would say.
Only, definitely, if he'sfollowing God and he fears God,
he's not going to do anything todamage you, and we know that a
damaged woman, we can't movelike we need to.
(13:03):
We can't move how we shouldmove, because we're so focused
on the brokenness and what hashappened and what has taken
place that we can't move forwardand even think about it.
Even as a Christian woman, ifmy focus is on all the stuff
that you're doing to me, I'm notfocusing on God because I'm so
(13:24):
busy trying to figure out howI'm going to get out of this
nightmare.
So I put God on hold because Igot to figure out how I'm going
to make sure the kids are takencare of and all of this other
stuff.
So you have to be careful, youknow, when you choose.
You know a mate and choosesomeone that don't know God.
Because you know God and theydon't, they don't know God.
(13:46):
It's going to be hard for youto pull them to to know God,
especially if they're the typeof person that say I'm the man
and I run this thing and I dothis.
So, yeah, be, be, be carefulwith that.
Another question was what valuedoes a man look for in a wife?
I'm not a man so I really can'tanswer that question, but what
(14:08):
I can give you is my opinion onwhat he looks for.
I think a man looks for someonewho he can build a future with,
not his mom.
He's not looking for someone totell him what to do, how to do
it way to do it way to go to doit.
No, he's not looking for that.
He's looking for a partner.
And again, I'm not saying hehas to be a Bible-thumping, holy
(14:32):
Ghost-shouting, speaking intongues.
If he fears God this much, ifhe fears God, then he wants
somebody that he can build afuture with, somebody, he can
pray with, somebody, that whenthe goings get tough, that we
can get on our knees and we canpray together and we can get
through this thing called life.
You know, again, I can only goback to what I said in the
(14:55):
beginning Life is hard.
It's hard, you know.
It's not always perfect, it'snot, and it's not all.
How do the kids say sunshineand skittles, or rainbows and
skittles, but you got to gothrough some things so you'll be
(15:18):
able to look back and say, ohman made it through that one, we
made it through that one.
So when the next thing comes,it don't look so challenging
because you know you can make itthrough.
You can make it through that.
So not trying to be his mom,that's going to be the go-to he,
he gonna.
It's not not always what youbring into the table.
What you bring into the tableSome men, you know some some.
(15:38):
I also said in this conversationthat some men are intimidated
by independent women.
Mm-hmm, they are.
They don't know how to say thatthey aren't, but some are.
And my question is when thatindependent woman has been taken
out of the trash and taking thekids to school, picking them up
from aftercare, taking them tobasketball players?
(15:59):
She's taken on that role.
I got to do this.
So when he comes in, when hecomes in, it's like now she got
to start releasing those things.
And it's hard to release thosethings when you've done them all
the time, when you've been.
This is your routine.
You know summertime, you got tofind where they're going to be
(16:19):
while you work.
It's been your routine.
You've been doing it for yearsand it's hard to let go.
But you can let go one step ata time.
One step at a time, especiallyif he's showing that he is ready
to take on the responsibilityfor it, and that include bonus
kids when they come, you know,or your kids being his bonus
(16:44):
kids.
You know he's willing to takeon the responsibility and be the
man in a relationship and,slowly but surely, ladies, we
can let our God down, just alittle bit at a time, until you
know, until we're comfortableenough to know that you know he
could possibly be the one.
And so, yeah, yeah, that thatthat would be, um, what he would
(17:08):
want, not not anybody trying tobe his mom.
So I think that's veryimportant.
Um, and remember, you know,I'll also when, when, when.
The do's and the don'ts ofdating that was another one.
Um, so, and I want you toremember, the do's and the
don'ts of dating is, um,opposites attract.
(17:29):
And I'm going to tell yousomething my husband computer
technology all day, all night.
Yeah, me, me, check my email,do a little tick tocking, maybe
a little Facebook.
That's it for me.
I don't want to know how to putin a plug, I don't want to know
(17:50):
how to add in this, I don'tknow how to add in that.
I'm not.
No, no, no, no, no, no, that'snot for me.
What we do have in common isthe Lord and of course, you know
, raising our children camealong with the strategy that the
Lord provided for us.
But opposite different music,he's a diehard Prince fan.
(18:13):
I can only take a measure ofPrince After his Father's Day
concert we were halfway throughit, I was about ready to pull my
hair out.
I can only take a measure ofthat when I am a complete
diehard Whitney Houston fan.
Nita Baker, I like that, neil.
So you know he'll listen to itnow.
And that's one thing we do wecompromise, we compromise.
(18:35):
I'm going to listen to hisFather's Day concert.
He's had it every year for 33years, so I'm going to listen to
it.
I'm going to listen to it.
I'm going to be right there inhis corner make his favorite
dessert.
I'm going to do that.
But when we're riding and goingon our little Sunday drives, he
let me listen to what I want tolisten to.
So we compromise.
So that's something that I justkind of want to put in there.
(18:56):
About opposites really doattract Do's and don'ts of
dating.
When single, I would say whenyou're single, be very
particular about who you bringaround your children.
Yeah, you know, get to knowthem, get to know their, their,
how they feel about children.
(19:18):
Do really small, manyintroductions, many dates Do
allow, if this is the one, doallow them to get to know your
child on, I would say, basicallyon your terms, because at some
point, as that child get older,they're going to want you to
(19:40):
themselves and they'll put youin a situation where everyone
comes along.
They're going to want you tothemselves and they'll put you
in a situation where everyonecomes along they're going to
shoot them down because theydon't want anybody to take their
mommy or from them.
They don't want that, sothey'll make they'll.
They'll make it difficult foryou, um, to date.
But remember this, and this issomething that eric and I talked
about a lot when the kids weregrowing up one day these kids
(20:02):
gonna kids are going to go pastme, and then where that's going
to leave us, you know, and as asingle parent, one day that kid
is going to go and you don'twant to be in your you know you
don't want to be in your 60strying to find true love because
now your child is finallyestablished.
You know, set boundaries withyour children when it comes down
to you dating.
You know, set boundaries withyour children when it comes down
(20:23):
to you dating.
Let them know that you deserveto have some time to yourself
and you deserve to have.
You know I don't know if it'sbased upon the age of the child.
You deserve to have a friend orif they're older, you deserve
to have a romantic interest.
You know, if you get older, youdeserve as they get older, you
deserve to have a man.
You know, and this is the guyyou like now.
(20:43):
You know.
But talk to your children, beopen with your kids, and that's
one thing that I really learnedwith my children is listening to
them and just really talking tothem and giving them the
platform to open up and talk tome.
One of my children had asituation right before we moved
(21:09):
from Japan and I found out aboutit years later.
I was so broken because shefelt as if she couldn't talk to
me about that particular issuebecause I was so wrapped up in,
you know, getting moved andgetting settled and getting back
to the United States that itreally broke my heart that she
felt that she couldn't sharethat with me and that kind of
(21:30):
broke me up, that kind of brokeme up.
So and I have a husband, soopen the doors, make the
platform available, communicate.
Nothing is too, you know.
Nothing is.
There is nothing that yourchild should not be able to
speak to you about.
Now I have to tell you some ofthe things that my kids came and
asked me about.
I would die laughing and theywould be like, well, mom, it's
(21:51):
not funny.
But that was my way of coping,like thinking while I'm laughing
, like how am I going to answerthis question without making
them go ew, oh no, you know, andmaking sure that it was on
their level.
Every child has a stage thatthey go through.
Every single child has a stagethat they go through.
(22:12):
So you have to meet them attheir stages and answer their
questions accordingly to theirlevel of maturity, and it'll be
easier if you go that route, bycommunicating with them and
letting them know that you hearthem and you understand where
they're coming from, but alsogiving them a direct as to where
(22:32):
you are at this particular time, in this situation.
So I am going to go to thecomments and I have some
questions in here.
I will have some statements inhere.
I'm going to start with Nikki, aman that fears God, is
disciplined and has morals andvalues.
Yes, my baby girl, they do,they really do.
(22:54):
Hi, sexy girl.
Melissa said we are a superblended family and while dating
I didn't introduce Ty to my sonuntil after six months.
Hey, I mean six months.
That would be based upon howyour decision, and I think
that's great.
I remember when I was dating Ididn't introduce my kids to who
(23:18):
I was dating right away.
I think I kind of felt like I'mdating him, he's not the one,
so he don't really need to know.
Know my kids.
But then there were times whenI were dating and I introduced
my kids and it was not good, youknow.
So, yeah, hi, pastor Bar, howyou doing Compromise is key.
(23:47):
How you doing, um, compromise iskey compromises.
You know, in relationships, inany type of relationship, you
have to compromise.
You know, not all time.
You don't have to bow down allthe time, but it just come a
time where you have to say youknow what, um, I'm a foe right
here.
My girl used to say choose yourbattles, choose your battles.
My girl used to say choose yourbattles, choose your battles.
So sometimes you just have tochoose your battle and be like
you know what.
(24:07):
I'm not going to deal with thisright now.
I'm just not going to deal withit.
So you know, I don't know.
Another thing that we will bediscussing mom says you talk to
me about everything.
Yeah, some stuff you told me,pastor.
I don't want to hear that rightnow, but I needed to know.
(24:30):
I needed to know I remembergoing to my mom when I was about
12 saying mom, what a birthcontrol.
And she was like what Girl gosit down?
Mind you, I had a Barbie dollin my hand when I asked her, but
I had overheard my friendstalking about their sisters was
talking about it.
So I wanted to know what theywere.
So, um, yeah, I would talk toher about anything.
I wasn't shy to open up mymouth and ask about anything.
(24:51):
I talked to my mom about sex.
I talked to my mom aboutboyfriends.
I talked to my mom aboutbaptism.
I talked to her abouteverything.
I and I would just shoot itright out my mouth and no filter
, just say, hey, what is this?
And you know and I thank Godthat you know he gave me a mom
that loved him and served him,so she was always trying to meet
(25:13):
me where I was, and I reallyappreciate that.
But back to compromise.
Compromise is key.
You know, we don't have toalways bend and fold, but there
are times when we have to choosewhat's going to benefit this
situation right now.
Is it going to be worth it oris it not?
So we have to really thinkabout those things.
(25:33):
So those are just some of thetopics that we're going to be
talking about.
One of my pet peeves and it isalso absolutely sexy.
Girl says compromise and shouldgo both ways, and it is also
absolutely Sexy.
Girl says compromise.
It should go both ways and itshould.
It should not always fall onone person, and I think you know
, and I've always dated, so it'sbeen very limited time where
(25:56):
I've actually been single.
I've always had a boyfriend orsomeone chasing after me and me
slowing down enough for them tocatch.
So, yeah, so, but with Eric andI, it's always a balance.
It's a balance.
There's some things he has tocompromise and some things I
(26:17):
have to compromise too, and thatgoes with any relationship,
With a relationship with parents, with siblings, cousins,
grandparents.
It's always going to be amoment where you may have to
compromise and say, OK, you know, I can remember my grandmother
making me and my aunt cleanchitlins one day.
We wanted to eat them, but wedidn't want to clean them.
(26:38):
And she was like well, if y'alldon't clean them, I'm not
cooking them.
And we were like so I told myaunt.
I said well, you go ahead.
I tried to convince her to doall the work until finally my
grandma was like no, no, no, no,no, this is how we're going to
do this.
You're going to do this bucket,you're going to do this bucket.
So she kind of kept us in thekitchen and I had to bow down
(27:11):
because if I wasn't going to doit, my mom was going to pop me
anyway.
I think the last time I got anactual belt on my bottom, I was
24 and married.
She, she, I opened my mouth andsaid something really slick
which I got from her, and sheactually put a belt on me and I
couldn't believe it.
I was a married woman withchildren, but I deserve it.
I deserved it.
So, yeah, yeah, that part, yeah.
So those are some of the thingsthat we're going to be
discussing and I keep I don'tknow why this keeps slipping my
(27:32):
mind, but domestic violence isdefinitely going to be something
that we talk about.
I'm not a clinical therapist,but am a survivor and it's
something that I I felt like.
I feel like a lot of womenthat's in the church goes
through it and people tell them,oh, just pray for him and oh,
(27:56):
you know, he's going to getbetter.
And that's something that Ijust cannot.
I cannot stand on.
I always say that you know, ifthe church is God's bride, god
don't beat on us, he don't.
So why would it be okay for aman to be his wife and he's
(28:17):
holding a position as deacon orelder or bishop or anybody like
that, and not just them?
Domestic violence is all overthe place.
So I also want to make this aplatform for people to come and
share, and if you know they feellike they want to share what's
going on with them, then we canjust encourage and pray for them
(28:39):
and pray with them.
Yeah, so I see my mom says, yes, you have to choose your
battles.
And, pastor Bar, you are sotrue, that's right.
No one is a doormat.
You are not a doormat.
I looked at it when I was in mylittle domestic violence
(29:02):
situation.
I was like I feel like apunching bag, like that.
I don't know if it's ever lastor ever, I don't know what they
put on them punching bags, but Ibegan to feel like that.
And, ladies, we have to rememberthat our self-worth is worth
more than having a man.
Now, I know that Betty Wrightsay having a piece of man is
better than having a man, and no, no, having a piece of man is
(29:24):
better than having no man at all.
I beg to differ.
I beg to differ.
I really not have you If I gotto sit back as you beat on me.
Another question wasrelationships.
How do you not lose yourself inrelationships?
You have to know your birth.
You really have to know yourworth.
(29:44):
And when I was in my thank youfor that when I was in that
domestic violence relationship,I didn't know my worth.
I didn't know my worth becausemy abuser was telling me that I
wasn't worth nothing.
You're from the hood, you'rethis, you're that.
Ain't nobody going to want you,you lucky.
I want you.
Yeah, know your worth in arelationship.
(30:06):
You know, ladies I mean, I canonly imagine being single how
hard it must be.
But you know, take yourself ontrips.
You know, love you.
I tell you one thing A man lovesto see a woman loving on
herself.
That's key, because if you'reloving on you, you're loving on
(30:27):
yourself.
It's going to make it eveneasier for him to love you.
You know, don't say why don'tnobody want me.
No, it's not that sometimes,when you're doing your thing and
you're handling your business,you know it's me and I'll be
like, okay, well, she's notgoing to date me, she's not
going to date me, she's notgoing to date me.
And I was also telling mydaughter to date.
I said, you know, when I wascoming up, the guys that I
(30:53):
thought was cute, they neverwould approach me and I couldn't
understand, like, why theydidn't approach me.
I was like, you know, maybe I'mjust ugly, but the guys that
was so pleasing to the eye wouldbe knocking at the door hey,
it's Patsy, and I'll be like, ohboy, you know.
So those guys are really boldand they, you know, I'm gonna go
, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna justgo talk to her, I'm just gonna
(31:13):
go talk to her.
Hey, miss Burke, can I seePatsy?
Or whatever.
But you know it was mostly, youknow, the older guys.
And as I got older and, ofcourse, married, now I get that,
oh, I couldn't approach youbecause you was there.
Oh, that's okay, because I'mmarried now.
I got a ring on it.
But now it's like no, that wasit.
(31:35):
And sometimes we feel likewe're not attractive and that
guys aren't looking at us.
But really it's just, sometimesthey're just a little bit
intimidated and that's okay,that's okay.
So Sexy Girl just said when youlose yourself, it's because you
(31:59):
think if you this way or thatway, the man will love you more
and do.
Can we give a hand clap forthat one?
That is awesome, right there,that is so, so true.
You start standing.
The young lady that I talked totoday say I started losing
myself because I'm trying tomeet the need of what society
(32:24):
say that I should be doing, andthen I lose me in the process of
it.
I'm not happy, I'm not happy.
Huh, you cannot lose yourselfand you cannot transform
yourself to be somebody else'sit girl.
You got to be your own it girl.
You got to do that.
(32:45):
And you know, I saw a step whensomeone said they just went on
a cruise by themselves.
And it's so funny because I'm aTikToker, I be on there a lot.
I just saw a young lady justboard a cruise ship by herself.
She said I don't know what I'mgoing to do.
I don't know nobody on here,tiktoker, I'd be on there a lot.
I just saw a young lady justboard a cruise ship by herself.
She said I don't know what I'mgonna do, I don't know nobody on
here.
But by the end of that cruiseship she had met some people.
She had said she had a blast.
(33:06):
You know, um melissa says uh,my mommy always taught us
self-love, self-respect,self-worth, self-knowledge
awesome lesson I pass on to mydaughters and my sons.
That is awesome.
That is awesome.
I that is awesome.
I love that Because, at the endof the day, if you don't
respect yourself, how do youexpect somebody else to respect
(33:27):
you?
If you don't love you, how doyou expect for somebody else to
love you?
And you have to show yourselfthat love.
I used to work at this callcenter and I used to tell when I
would go and sit in there Iwould turn around to my, my
friend, cynthia.
I would turn around to Cynthiaand I'd be like girl.
This morning when I looked inthe mirror I said girl, you are
(33:50):
looking good today, hello,gorgeous.
And she'd be like you know what, get to work, put your phone on
.
But I had to do that.
I was like like.
You know what I had to.
I had to love me.
You know, in the process, Imind you, let's not.
I wanted to.
I have an awesome husband andhe's always telling me I'm
beautiful and, um, I'm sexy andyou know all that stuff.
(34:13):
And he, he always encourages meand and I love that.
But I have to encourage me.
I can't lose who I am becauseI'm a mom of six.
I got a grandmother of 10, twogreat-grands.
You know, um, out of all those,we got two boys, rest of them
(34:34):
are girls.
You know I can't lose myself asto who I am because of this
legacy that's following, youknow, that's following behind me
.
I have to know who I am andrespecting yourself and loving
yourself is going to be theultimate key, you know, and you
(34:54):
don't have to settle.
You don't have to settle, butwhat you want to do, you want to
pray.
You want to pray that don'tknow crazy people coming your
path.
They don't have to settle, butwhat you want to do, you want to
pray.
You want to pray that don'tknow, crazy people come in your
path.
They don't come your way.
You want to make sure that youknow that God is in control of
your destiny and your purpose.
You know I don't know.
You know who walks with theLord and who doesn doesn't.
(35:19):
But what I do know is, in thejourney that I've been on, I
came from a neighborhood whereevery other house was either a
drug dealer or there was acrackhead.
Every single one in thisneighborhood.
If your house and I hear you,if your house didn't sell drugs,
the house next to your not thehouse next to that house there
were crackheads in that house.
I'm gonna even call them.
There were people addicted todrugs.
The house next to your, thehouse next to that house, there
(35:40):
were crackheads in that house.
I'm not even calling them.
There were people addicted todrugs in that house.
And then you had the housewhere people went to church.
So you had, maybe out of fullneighborhood, I want to say
maybe 15 people that was churchgoers, and we had quite a few
churches in our neighborhoodthat people had made in their
homes.
But coming from that to where Iam today, who would have thought
(36:02):
I didn't?
I didn't.
So you know you have to setyour mind on where you want to
go, where you're going to be,how you're going to end up.
But I knew, if it wasn't forthe grace of God on my life, I'm
grateful that I was taken tochurch.
I'm grateful that I learned toknow the Lord for myself.
(36:24):
You know, I'm grateful for mymom.
You know as much as I didn'twant to go.
Sometimes she still said, oh no, you're going to church.
Even if you came in at 2o'clock in the morning from the
club, you're going right tochurch and you're sitting right
next to RJ where he's going tobeat them drums like a maniac.
(36:45):
You know you're going to go andI'm grateful.
I'm grateful that she did andwhat she instilled in me.
I took my kids and you know, Ikind of did it a little
different, you know, with mykids.
Okay, now I'm going to makethese kids go to Bible study,
choir rehearsal.
I little different, you know,with my kids.
Okay, now I'm going to makethese kids go to Bible study,
choir rehearsal.
I'm going to make them do this.
But I did tell them that theyhad to sing in the choir.
If I had to sing in the choir,they had to sing in the choir.
(37:05):
And they alternated their Biblestudy nights and they stayed
home with the baby, you know.
But I have instilled in themthat it's going to be God first
At the end of the day.
We can, we could talk about, youknow, the role of a man and
relationships and all thisdating, but I promise you,
ladies, if you put Jesus in thecenter of this, he will send you
(37:27):
someone that will Worship theground you walk on.
You will come secondary toChrist and that's OK.
That's OK.
You know so, yeah.
So, with that being said, know,so, yeah.
So, with that being said, ohyeah, I'm almost done with this.
Um, if you have any questions,if you want to chat them in the
(37:48):
box and we can talk about itright, quick.
Um, you, oh, somebody said allchurch men are not true men of
God.
That true, not all of them are.
But when you find someone thatfear God, if he can tell you out
of his mouth that I'm not doinganything to disappoint my Lord
(38:11):
and Savior, anything that's agood one, that's a good one,
yeah, yeah.
And likewise, and it goes viceversa, If a man found a woman,
(38:38):
you know you're sold out.
If you're sold out, if you'rewilling to walk with Christ and
have.
You know, have Christ walk withyou.
You're good to go and you'reright, not all of them are.
There was a situation growing upWell, my kids was growing up in
church.
We had a young lady in ourchurch that cried all the time
and we always thought she wasunder the Spirit, that the
Spirit had fell upon her and andshe was so holy and it was
(39:01):
wonderful.
Only to find out that there wastrouble in her home and it
wasn't in a good way.
You know it was, it was, it wasa violent way.
So you know, and thisparticular person, he was one of
the deacons in the church butnobody knew until later on.
But yeah, that is so true.
(39:23):
You just, you know.
Moms say, you just have to bewho you are and you know Christ
will take you under his wing andhe will.
He will give you, he will giveyou the desires of your heart.
And a lot of people get itmixed up when they say oh Lord,
you can give me the desires ofmy heart.
Well, when our desires line upwith what he desired for us,
(39:44):
then we get the desire of ourheart.
We have to line up with what hehas in store for us and,
honestly, when you give yourselfto him, he will transform you
to the desire that he wants foryou and you'll be saying, oh, I
didn't even realize I wantedthis or I needed this, but I'm
(40:06):
grateful and I thank God that Ihave.
So, yeah, yeah, so, yeah, so,anyway, that's some of the
topics that we'll be talkingabout.
That's some of the topics thatwe'll be talking about.
We'll be talking about so manydifferent things, even as far as
fashion and perfumes.
(40:30):
No topic is off limit.
The only thing that's off limitis politics, because it's
enough of that going on, like Isaid before.
So, if you have any questionsor if you just want to call in
and just maybe you have aquestion for me or maybe
something that you just want toshare, the number's on the
screen 754-222-2219.
(40:53):
I would love to hear from you.
And, yeah, just give us a callin, let's see what's going on.
And I just want to thank youguys again.
You know I really reallyappreciate the audience.
Um, again, like I said, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm new to this, so I'm
hopefully it's going to getbetter as it goes along.
Uh, I may end up having to havea guy actually come on and tell
(41:17):
us exactly what it is thatthey're looking for in a wife.
But I just feel like that wasjust my opinion from the outside
, looking in and with therelationships and the values.
Like someone also said, whatshould I value?
And again I mean I don't.
(41:39):
I'm not trying to Bible beatanybody, but God, he is the
answer, he's the key.
At the end of the day.
You can jump, jump throughhoops, you can jump through
hoops, but you're going to comeright back full circle If you're
trying to.
You know, serve the lord um.
Another story that I can share,um the um.
(42:02):
How eric and I um ended uptogether is um eric went to the
military after the twins werewell before the twins were born.
And no, we broke up and I wentto my mom when I found I was
pregnant.
When Eric and I broke up and Iwent to my mom and I'm crying,
I'm like, oh my god, mom, I'mhaving, I was 20 and I was going
(42:26):
to have another baby and I waslike, oh my god, mom, what am I
gonna do?
What?
What am I gonna do, crying tomy mom like this is this is
crazy.
And um said you know, you justgotta let him go and I was like,
okay, but you know, you gottalet him go and that was one of
(42:50):
the hardest things to do.
She say, if it's meant to be.
She say it'll be.
And I'm looking at her like,are you, are you mad, it'll be.
And I'm looking at her like,are you, are you mad woman?
I'm about to have a set oftwins and and I have a
(43:12):
four-year-old and I'm only 20,this, this, this was like I
didn't think I was going to beable to ever get past that.
And Eric went to the militaryand I went on about my business.
I was like once, once thosebabies drop, I hit the club
scene, business.
I was like once, once thosebabies drop, I hit the club
scene.
I was doing what I was doingand having a good time.
I worked, but on Friday andSaturday I was trying to be out,
but Sunday morning mom madesure I was at church.
So you know I did that and, um,just a full circle, eric and I
(43:36):
ended up.
I think the twins were threewhen we ended up back together.
By the time the twins turnedfour, eric and I was married,
and I said that to say this thatsometimes you don't know the
plans that God has for you and Ihonestly feel like, had we
(43:56):
gotten married at that time, weprobably would have divorced.
But I think God set it up.
He's so divine that he set itup where it would work out
behind, when he was workingbehind the scenes.
That's a good guy.
He's always working behind thescenes and he was working behind
the scenes and we ended up backtogether.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
This call may be recorded or transcribed.
Speaker 1 (44:20):
And we ended up married and now it's 33 years,
so I am grateful for that.
So there is someone there.
It's someone for everyone.
God has your path chosen foryou.
Don't go out If you go to theclub to find a husband, where
your husband going to want to goon Friday nights To the club,
and not to say that if you findhim in the church, he's going to
want to go on Friday nights tothe club, and not to say that if
you find him in the church,he's going to always want to be
(44:41):
in the church either.
You just have to have a balanceof what you're looking for and
which direction God is guidingyou.
So, yeah, okay, I got a caller.
Yay, go ahead caller.
Hey, cousin Patsy, I'm a caller.
Yay, go ahead, caller.
Speaker 2 (45:02):
Hey, Cousin Tati, I'm so proud of you.
Hi, Cousin, hey Tati andeverybody, hey, Tati and
everybody.
So look, girl, I'm calling infrom New Orleans.
I told my husband to say hi toeverybody, but I just have to
let you know I love you.
You've always been a wonderfulexample for all of your younger
(45:24):
cousins all of you.
Even though you bullied us,you're a wonderful example.
You turned out to be awonderful woman with wonderful
kids all of them and I'm just soproud of you.
So, wishing you the best always, I love you and I just know
this is going to be a wonderful,wonderful podcast, so keep
(45:44):
doing your thing, Kevin, youknow I love you girl.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
I love you too.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for calling.
I don't have a question.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
Yeah, I just.
I don't have a question oranything.
I just want you to know howproud I am and you know, just
say hi to Cause I know she's onand just tell you I love you
girl and you doing your thing.
I'm proud of you.
Speaker 1 (46:02):
Thank you so much.
Cause then I love you too.
Thanks for calling in.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Of course I'm still tuning in.
Love everybody, love you too.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
Bye, cousin, all right, bye, bye, oh.
Oh, that's so awesome.
You know what I had?
To bully them because theydidn't listen.
They didn't listen, so I had togive it to them but that's okay
.
Thank you so much for calling in.
You know I love you.
(46:31):
This one's a real traveler here.
I'm gonna be like her when Igrow up, okay, well, if we don't
have any more, if we don't haveany more questions, we're just
going to go ahead and wrap upand we'll be tuning in in two
weeks.
Let me see the date on that.
Thank you so much for joining.
I really appreciate that.
(46:51):
Okay, so we're looking at.
Oh, this is one thing.
If you are interested, I wastold that Monday is at the
beginning of the week and peoplejust really trying to get back
into their mojos for the workweek.
If you guys would like to dothis podcast on another day, the
only day that I'm not availableto do it will be Wednesday
because it's Bible study night,but Thursday may be going into
(47:12):
the weekend.
Friday night is date night, soit would have to either be
Monday, tuesday or Thursday.
So hit me up in the chat boxand let me know what works for
you.
If monday is good for you,monday is good for me.
Um, until we get a marriage onpodcast going up and if you
haven't, if you know anyonethere thank you so much for
joining me.
I really appreciate it likethat's a good podcast um to
(47:36):
watch so great ideas on um ideasand suggestions and make sure
you like and share.
Thank you.
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