Respect: One of the Cornerstones of a Thriving Marriage

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Ever wondered how God-centered marriages withstand life's greatest challenges? Join us as we celebrate life's milestones, including the end of the school year and a granddaughter's high school graduation. We take a reflective moment to honor Memorial Day and the sacrifices of veterans and their families. Then, we dive into the heart of our discussion by sharing personal stories that reveal how marriage uncovers hidden aspects of ourselves, leading to mutual growth and encouragement.

Discover the bedrock of a strong marriage by keeping God at the center, as emphasized in Psalms 127:1. We unravel the true meaning of love, contrasting it with Hollywood’s often superficial portrayal, focusing instead on the virtues highlighted in 1 Corinthians 13:4-6. Our conversation also delves into the importance of premarital counseling, openness, and trust. Learn how a genuine relationship with God can transform your marriage, equipping you to face temptations and struggles with unwavering commitment and agape love.

We tackle the controversial topic of submission within marriage from a biblical viewpoint, exploring the need for mutual respect and Christ-like love. Addressing misconceptions, we emphasize the importance of a balanced understanding that prioritizes love and respect, especially in avoiding abusive situations. By sharing inspiring stories of perseverance and spiritual growth, we demonstrate how mutual support, prayer, and leading by example are vital for a thriving and respectful marriage. Tune in for insightful discussions on navigating the spiritual and practical aspects of marriage, culminating in heartfelt thanks to our listeners for their unwavering support.

Season 3 intro done by Carolena

Season 3 Outro done by Carolena

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
well, welcome to welcome to marriage in real life
.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, well, we'reexcited.
We had a little technicaldifficulties, but we are here
and we're ready to do this.
Are you ready to do this, babe?
All right, all right, all right.

(00:26):
Well, oh man, what's beenhappening?
What's been happening?
You know, I know it's been, uh,you know it's been like a crazy
, uh, two weeks.
It's been a crazy two weeks.
Wow, wow, wow, hey.
I want to give a shout out toferg.
He's online with us hey, ferghey, ferg, how you doing.

(00:48):
Hey, um, you said, um, how manydays school is?
Uh, the school left.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
I'm left for school um wait a like six six days,
give a shout out for six I'mexcited about it being over, oh
you are oh my god, it's been avery, very overwhelming year.
Yeah, it's been.

(01:16):
It's been interesting.
However, our school did do verywell in the testing, so all
right we'll give a shout out topeters elementary hey, go pandas
, yeah y'all did, y'all did,y'all did it.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
So, yeah, I'm happy for y'all.
Y'all did it.
So, um, you know, six more days.
You ain't got to deal with nomore kids for a little bit for a
little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
you know, this is a short summer this year because
they're trying to regulate ourschool schedule so they kind of
knocking off two weeks.
So we go back early.
But, the break is so wellneeded, you know Right.
It's going to rush us back, butat least we get this month and
a half.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
Right, yeah, and do something.
What you going to do?

Speaker 2 (02:03):
I'm going to do something.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to try to do nothing.
I saw some projects around thehouse that I could probably do
oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
Oh boy, I've been looking at Home.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Depot you know, stuff that I can get, so I can, you
know, do some things.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
No sir, no, sir, no, sir, I want to give a shout out
to Rob G.
All right, hey, rob, give ashout out to Malika.
Amai says hello.
Hey, amai, give a shout out.
Got to give a shout out to themuffin.
She walking, you know.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
Yeah, man, we went shopping yesterday and she just
had to get down and push thecart.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
We let her too.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
We're like, yeah, go for it, go for it.
You know, I mean she in churchjust rearranging the church
while I'm preaching.
Furniture, yes busy body.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yeah, that's, that's a good thing.
At least we know she's thriving, right, you know, when they're
not thriving, then it's aconcern.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
But right, yeah, she's doing her thing.
All right, we've got to give adouble shout out.
You know what?
One One thing we've got ourgranddaughter graduated last
Wednesday.
Yay Aunt.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
Tasia graduated high school.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
Yeah, you know, she went through some things you
know incarcerated, you know, andeverything like that, when she
stood it and you know she hadtold her mama she didn't want to
walk because she didn't walkwith a class.
But mama said, hey, you gotta,you need to walk.
Yeah, and I think I was gladthat she walked, you know, and I
was able to see her walk acrossthe stage, you know, and get a
high school diploma.

(03:32):
So I'm gonna give a shout outto aunt tage, another shout out.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yesterday was memorial day, yeah yeah, it was.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
yes, we were remembered the ones who have
fallen, remembered the ones whohave fallen and you know they
fought for our country and theydied in wars, and you know
things like that to give usfreedom, as I was saying in
prayer today, you know that'sfreedom, that you know that they
fought for.

Speaker 2 (03:58):
That we wouldn't have if they didn't.

Speaker 1 (04:00):
I'm telling you, you know, I don't even know we would
have a podcast to talk aboutmarriage and especially with
prayer and coming to church anddoing things.
I don't think we would be ableto do those, if you know they
didn't do what they weresupposed to do.
So we thank God for theveterans and the families
Because, you know, as a familyit's a sacrifice right.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
Definitely is.
It feels like you're a singleparent because you know the
husband or the wife is deployed.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Right right.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
You feel like you're doing a single parent job.
Right right right, it can beoverwhelming, but it's
definitely a good sacrifice forthe country.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
All right, so we're ready to talk about this one
thing, one thing that we wantedto to make sure we talk about,
you know, our little video viralmoment.
All right, so it's time for aviral moment.
All right, here we go.
Here we go.

Speaker 4 (04:56):
Marriage, literally, is the one relationship that
will bring out the darkest sideof you, side that you didn't
even know existed.
Bring out the darkest side ofyou Side that you didn't even
know existed.
Your spouse will bring that outmore than anybody.
Your parents, your friends, youguys will see parts of you that
you didn't know existed.
Marriage is from a spiritualconstruct.

(05:17):
It is to help build yourcharacter and marriage will help
build your character like noother relationship.
If you can get through that,you're going to see a side of
you that will blow your mind.

Speaker 1 (05:30):
All right, all right, so what you think about that?

Speaker 2 (05:34):
I totally agree with it.
Yeah.
Absolutely, Because, you knowyou, it's things about me that I
would have never discovered hadI not been married.
Okay.
There's a lot of things thatyou, you know, encouraged and
brought out of me to be like youknow.
You can do this.

Speaker 1 (05:49):
Right right right.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
I got faith in you that you could do this and even
when I was afraid to jump outthere and get it done,
encouragement really, reallyhelped.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
Okay, all right, yeah , it will bring out something.
It'll bring out the worst inyou too.
Yeah, it is it'll.
It is almost like um.
It is almost like that um thatif you're not careful, it's a
mirror to say you know how, youknow what's the thing is, what's
going wrong with you?
If you got anger problems,marriage gonna bring it out oh

(06:22):
yeah you know, if you can'tcommunicate, it's gonna bring
you out.
you know, if you are dealingwith some things that you
haven't dealt with in the past,it's gonna bring out right and
uh, you know, maybe you haven'tgot completely healed.
You know, uh, whether maybesomebody you know as a young

(06:42):
lady, maybe somebody molested,even as a boy, somebody molested
you and you haven't gotcompletely healed.
You know you're still awomanizer, you know, and if you
ain't got that done, it's goingto bring it out.
You know, all of thosemarriages will bring out the bad
and the good in you.
If you're a loving person, it'sgoing to show that you're
loving.
If you're a patient person,it's going to show that you're a

(07:03):
lover.
If you're a patient person,it's going to show that you're
patient.
You know, you know.
And so marriage will bring outthe best and the worst in you.

Speaker 2 (07:10):
I agree with that.

Speaker 1 (07:11):
You know it will bring out the best and worst in
you.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
The trauma is going to come out, and remember we
lash out on the ones that'sclosest to us, oh yes.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
Usually the husband or your wife, yeah, and Usually
the husband or your wife yeah,and if we haven't dealt with it,
if we don't know how to dealwith anger, you know and you
haven't dealt with maybe yourfather hitting your mother.
You know what I mean and that'sall you saw and you haven't
dealt with that.
You didn't go to premaritalcounseling, or you went to

(07:41):
premarital counseling and youwasn't truthful.
And that's the thing about it isyou got to have honesty.
Yeah, even when you go tocounseling, if you're not honest
, it's useful.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
It's useless, it's a waste of time, right?

Speaker 1 (07:53):
I totally agree with that you got to be honest about
your feelings.
And if your spouse is there,you know, and you're honest
about it.
You know they love you, theywant you to be honest, right,
you know, and let us work onthis thing together.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
You know, and so some people are afraid to share, to
be that vulnerable with someone,even when you're married.
You know it's, you know they'llhold on to, you know some stuff
because again, I mean, let'ssay for, for instance, you were
molested, that's a shame, youfeel shame.
So a lot of people don't liketo expose their shame, because a

(08:30):
lot of people when they aremolested, they always think it's
their fault.
That they did something that Icaused this to happen to me, so
it's a shame that really keepsthe person from sharing
something like that.
I mean, they may hit the tip ofthe iceberg, but they don't go
to the root of the problem,because that's the deep.
The depthness of it is wherethe embarrassment is.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
Yeah, and.
But you know, do you think that, in order to have a successful
marriage, you got to share thatshame?
Yeah, so when do you thinkyou're supposed to share that
shame?
Yeah, so when do you think, uh,you're supposed to share the
shame?
Do you think you're supposed toshare it in premarital
counseling?
And, uh, or do you one year,two years, five years down the

(09:16):
road?
When do you?
When do you think it's a goodtime for you to share that shame
or that?
Or you think that's a shame?

Speaker 2 (09:23):
you think that is all of them I feel like if you're
gonna get married, you should bean open book to your partner.
They should know everything.
They don't know how to supportyou if they don't know.
So if you don't tell them, andthen you start lashing out and
you end up getting a divorce,you know well what are they
supposed to do.
No one should really sit backand allow someone else to abuse

(09:45):
them verbally or physically.
I think if you're going to getmarried, you should be open.
You should be honest abouteverything.
It should be no oops, I forgotto tell you.
Oh, did I mention you know, Ithink once you put everything
out there on the table, it'seasier to build a foundation and
grow from that.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
Okay, but what about trust the table?
It's easier to build afoundation and grow from that.
Okay, but you but do you?
But?
But what about trust?
I mean, you got to have sometrust that your partner is not
especially a pre-marriagecounseling, that you ain't even
married yet and you know I maytell you some things that you
may say I don't want to marryyou.
And at least I got to trust youthat you're not going to go

(10:25):
around and tell nobody what Ijust told you.
That's a lot of trust, don'tyou think?

Speaker 2 (10:32):
Yeah, but you got.
I mean, if you hiding stuff inthe beginning, you're going to
hide stuff throughout and in theend.
That's just how I feel.
Okay.
So let's read what Ferg had.

Speaker 1 (10:48):
Yeah, Ferg said.
Revealing those things to theone that you should be able to
be vulnerable with allows theability to understand you better
.
Allows them the ability tounderstand you better.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
All right, Because, like I've always said, you know,
we're not mind readers.
That's a gift that God did notgive us.
We're not mind readers.
That's a gift that God did notgive us.
So if you don't tell me whatyou're feeling or tell me what
it is that you're going through,I don't know.
Okay.
I don't know, all right.

Speaker 1 (11:16):
All right, yeah, I mean I agree, but I think it
just takes a level of trust totell somebody your deep, dark
secrets.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
If you're going to marry him, then yeah, you don't
want to go into marriage withoutthat.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
So it goes back to what we were saying If you go
into the marriage thinkingdivorce, then you're going to
get divorce.
If you go into the marriagethat I trust this person and
this is a covenant, this is whatLord, this is a covenant then
you're going to be open withthem and you're going to be able
to tell them you know you can'tlike I guess, like Bishop said

(11:56):
you can't go into a marriagesaying what if you know, what if
she find out?
What if she find out, what ifwe get divorced?
You know you got to go in andwhat is?
You know what if we getdivorced?

Speaker 2 (12:05):
So you know it is like you don't want to find out
anything.
You want you want.
It's worse if I have to find itout.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
Right, right.

Speaker 2 (12:15):
You know if I stumble across it.
And now I know you've known allthis time and you didn't tell
me.
Right yeah.
That's well, you know, that'sthe issue.
I think I don't know.
What do you guys think?
I think that would be an issue.

Speaker 1 (12:30):
I'm going to be talking to Mike.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
I'm sorry, I'm trying to roll my sleeve so it don't
fall over my hand, yeah, sothat's an issue.
If I have to find out on my own, I need you to be up front with
me.
Right, yeah, okay All rightGood Matter of respect.

Speaker 1 (12:45):
Matter of respect.
That's what we're talking abouttonight Respect, all right.
So we've been talking about thefoundations of a strong
marriage these past couple ofweeks, mm-hmm, and our main
scripture that we started outwith was Psalms 127.1.

(13:07):
It says Except the Lord, buildthe house, they labor in vain.
That build it.
Except the Lord keep the city,the watchman waketh, but in vain
.
So this verse teaches us thetruth about marriage.
You know, again, we talk aboutbuildings, we talk about
businesses and all this kind ofstuff, but it it has to do with

(13:27):
marriages too.
So, except the lord build ahouse, you know, except the lord
is the center and thefoundation of it, we that labor,
we're gonna labor in vain.
And even though we we broughtup I think you brought up the
point that there's somemarriages that don't have god as
the center, and and, and theyare growing and whatever, but we

(13:49):
live for god and we know thatspiritually they're not on point
, you know.
And so we want to make god thecenter, because if god is the
center of your marriage, you canget through anything,
absolutely you can get throughit.
And so we want to make sure thelord builds the house.
The lord is the foundation wetalked about.
The first thing we talked aboutwas love.
All right, and we're not.

(14:11):
We're not, when we speak oflove, we're not talking about,
uh, the kind of love that'sportrayed in hollywood movies,
the music and all that kind ofstuff.
Right, because we get.
We got some definitions of lovethat we talked about in first
corinthians, 1346, that thoseones in the hollywood movies
that's there for two hours.
You know the actors and thingslike that.

(14:34):
You know it.
It really, it really gets mewhen I hear a couple says man, I
thought it was going to be likethe movies.
You, you know, no, it's notgoing to, they don't Really.
You go to the movies for anhour and a half, maybe two hours
with the good movie.
They don't portray everything,you know, they show the surface.

(14:58):
So even if the marriage goesbad and all of a sudden at the
end it's good, they don't showthe day-to-day, the minute, the
minute.
You know they may show, get thesurface of trust or the surface
of renewal, but they don'treally get into it.
And how it's to thenitty-gritty man, I'm telling
you so, uh, we know that love ismore than sex.
Love is more than sex.

(15:21):
So first corinth, corinthians13 and 46 that we started.
We said love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy.
Love does not boast.
Love is not arrogant All right.
Love is not rude.
Love does not insist on its ownway All right.
Love is not irritable.

(15:41):
Love is not resentful.
No, that's what not love.
Love does not rejoice atwrongdoing.
But what does love do?
Love rejoices with the truth.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
And that doesn't hurt , and love doesn't hurt, no, sir
.

Speaker 1 (16:01):
You know, you have that, saying it hurts so good,
but it's not.
Oh boy, love doesn't hurt.
No, I don't, only love hurts sogood.
All right, hey, look, before wego into father, let's look at
some of the things.
I know we got a little bitdelayed, um, you know, and I
know there's some people goingto be listening to us on our um,
apple and spotify and stufflike that, so, but we got a

(16:23):
little bit of delay and we seeMalika says I think if you're at
premarital counseling and we'regoing back to the video it says
.
I think if you're at premaritalcounseling and you can't divulge
certain information out of fearthat you can't trust your
partner, getting married isn'tgoing to change that lack of
trust.

Speaker 2 (16:42):
Exactly.
That's why I say you got to beopen and you got to be open and
upfront.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (16:48):
And then Ferg says many have been unhappily or
stagnant or a stagnant marriagefor decades.
But if you want a strong,loving marriage, god must be the
center.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
Amen, amen.
Both of those comments aregreat.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:04):
Great.
You are so right on so manylevels, ferd, because you know I
found that when Eric and Ifirst got married, we went to
church.
We were at church and we bothknew the Lord.
We were raised in church, weknew the Lord.
But when we got in and got arelationship, oh yeah, it made a

(17:25):
totally difference in ourmarriage.
You know, it's like we didnothing without seeking the face
of god.
Seeking the face of god, andwhen the enemy came in like a
flood and was causing alldisturbance in, you know, in our
marriage, it was more or lesslike you know, god put us
together, right, not you.
Right, god is the center ofthis, not you.

(17:47):
We're going to hang on in there.
We're going to pray, we'regoing to fast.
We might be mad at each other,I may sleep upstairs, he may
sleep downstairs, and whatever,oh boy, whatever, but at the end
of the day, because we are suchGod seekers, we couldn't walk
away from what God had ordainedfor our marriage, for our family

(18:09):
.
So being in the center of it isdefinitely a plus.
He must like for us to say Godmust, must be in the center of
it Must be Got to be in thecenter of it In this day and
time.
You can't, you can't.
It's everywhere.
Lust it's everywhere.
Lust is everywhere.
Sin is everywhere.
Yes, you know you can't getaway from it, no matter you can

(18:31):
be driving down the street, it'severywhere.
So that strength and thatfoundation, that love, that
kindness that you know, thatagape love that it's so
important.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
Yeah, it is, it's very important.
It's very important, all right.
So so, love.
And next one we talked aboutwas loyalty.
Loyalty, and one of thescripture that we brought up was
Ephesians 5,.
31 says, therefore, a man shallleave his wife and mother and

(19:04):
hold fast to his wife, and thetwo shall become one flesh, all
right.
And then in the King James itsays you got to leave and cleave
, you got to be loyal to yourwife.
You know, and I know sometimesyou know, especially daddy's

(19:25):
girls and mama boys.
You know, they got tounderstand.
You know, especially, I thinkwe went into it and say, you
know, mothers can't overstep andget involved into the marriage.
You know, you got to understandthat it's not gone, gone like I

(19:47):
don't want nothing to do withit, with you, but he is not at
the house and now his family ishis wife, her family is her
husband, and there's going to besome things that you sometimes,
where you say, hey, I want youto come home christmas, whatever
, said, well, we can't come.
You know, maybe I got to bewith her family this time, or
maybe you know, as a family,we're going skiing this time or

(20:10):
we're doing this.
You know, and you can say ah, Iwish.
But you can't get mad becausenow he or she is starting
traditions of their own, theyhave their family and they are
loyal to that person.
Right.
You know they can't be loyal tomother and father.
They have to be loyal to theirwife or to their husband.

(20:30):
That's what it's all about, youknow, with Ephesians 5 and 31.
Got to believe and cleave First.
What is the mama's boy thing?
I can't understand that.
Oh yeah, right Well you know,Well, come on, can you explain
the mama's boy thing?

Speaker 2 (20:52):
You know some moms, especially single moms, but some
moms they have an attachmentwith their sons.
Some moms, their first love oftheir son's life is their mom.
So when they grow up, when theyno longer need you, or when
they grow up, some of them babythem.

(21:14):
But you also have those thathelp them prepare themselves for
their future and it's hard tolet go, it's hard to let them go
out into the world becauseyou're like, oh my God, that's
my baby.
Especially if they're the lastone, that's the mama boy effect.
Eric was definitely a mama'sboy.

(21:34):
Oh, come on.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
Yeah, I was not a mama's boy.
How was I a mama's boy?
Come on, tell me how was I amama's boy.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
Because your mom protected you.
Oh, she was not letting nobodyget their hands on you, nobody
get close to you.
Your mom protected you a lot.

Speaker 1 (21:51):
Okay, so this is what I understand.
How in our marriage, how was amama's boy, but when you called
her she would get on me.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
Well, after we got married, but before then.

Speaker 1 (22:02):
Okay, okay, okay, all right, I ain't going to give
you that.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
You can give me that.
You can give me that.

Speaker 1 (22:14):
I don't believe I was a mama's boy.
But you know, since that's yourperspective of it and I can't
deny your perspective of mebeing a mama's boy we had to
keep rolling, but this is partof the conversation.
We had to keep rolling.
This is part of theconversation.
We still got time.
It's only 7.58.
That's what they hear Talkabout our conversation.
We get this out, you know, byme being a mama's boy.

Speaker 2 (22:35):
Okay all right, you want to deny it, it's fine.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
I'm not going to argue with you about it.
Okay, all right, good to go shedefinitely gave me a hard time.
Oh, I ain't going to say shedidn't give you a hard time, but
I don't know if I was a mama'sboy Because she got on me All
right, all right.
So I like that smile.
I'm going to hear about it nowWant to get off?
No, no, respect.

(23:03):
That is our subject tonight.
We're talking about respect.
If you're going to have a goodfoundational marriage, you got
to have respect.
And we're going to be talkingthrough some verses tonight,
that is, you know they're notcontroversial, but they can

(23:24):
really get people mad.
When we talk about these verses.
We talk about Ephesians 5, 22and 24, 25 and 26.
You know they can really getsome people All right.
So mutual respect isfundamental for any marriage
that expects long term success.
It's fundamental.
You got to have respect, I haveto respect you and you have to

(23:48):
respect me.
Right, and it goes both ways.
A man can't demand respect,especially biblically.
You cannot demand respect.
Well, I'm the man, you'resupposed to give me respect.
That shouldn't happen, right,all right, and we're going to
discuss that because Ephesiansthis is what it says in the
Bible, ephesians 5, 22,.

(24:10):
It says wives, and this is whereit gets kind of controversial.
Not controversial, but I thinksome men has taken this verse
and want a lord over women.
Okay, a lord over the, or Lordover wives.
All right.
It says wives submit to yourhusbands as to the Lord.
All right, for the husband isthe head of the wife, even as

(24:35):
Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its
savior.
Now, as the church submits toChrist, so also wives should
submit in everything to theirhusbands.
Right, that's what.
That's what it says, all right.
And so these verses, these twoverses, they are love and they

(25:00):
hate it.
Some people love them and somepeople hate them because they
don't understand the meaning ofthem.
Right, and I know, especiallywhen we do counseling, I tell
people and I tell the husbanddon't go to Ephesians 5, 22 and
24 and tell the wife this iswhat you're supposed to be doing

(25:22):
.
Don't do that.
You go to your part of theverse and let her just learn
that part, let her understandwhat it means to submit, let it
out, because if you do your part, she's going to do your part.
You don't have to demand thatshe does anything.
And so some, you know, because,again, some men love to hang on

(25:44):
these verses over the heads oftheir wives and tell the wives
you better submit, becausethat's what the Bible says.
You got to submit, all right,and so you know they demand that
they fall down on obedience andthey do all of this kind of
things.
Right, but that's not right.
Right.

Speaker 2 (26:01):
I don't really know no men that do that I'll be.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
Look, I know, in, right, I don't really know no
men that do that, I'll be, Ilook, I know, I.
I in the old days that's whatit was like they would go to
these verses and and I mean, wemay not know because of who we
are, but there are men that doesthat.
They are, they hold thisbiblical thing and this
masculinity thing that he saysyou know, and so they shouldn't

(26:24):
you, you know, no, and you know.
And the other side, when,sometimes, when women read these
verses, um, um, they feel thatthey make the wife inferior to
the husband, because they saywives, submit to your husband as
to the Lord, for the husband isthe head of the wife, as even
as Christ, you know.
So they'd be like man, he's thehead of me, all right.

(26:47):
Or, you know, now, as thechurch submits to Christ, so
also wives should submit ineverything to their husbands.
And so sometimes women can readthis I'm not saying all, but
sometimes women can read thisand may think that they're
inferior to their husbands,which they're not.

Speaker 2 (27:03):
and may think that they're inferior to their
husbands, which they're not.
I think.
Like well you know, well I do.
I kind of like the way whatBerg said you know again.
He says submit to what.
Give a loving husband a leader,a listener and a plan in all
areas and the submission will benatural.

(27:25):
I totally agree with that.
I don't have a problem beingsubmissive to you if you're
leading if you're loving, if wehave a plan.
If you listen, you don't justdiss me and throw me out.
You know, as the you know I'mnot saying what I'm supposed to
be saying.
I can't say how I feel oranything like that.

(27:46):
So I think I agree.
If you get all of that in onearea, it's easy to.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
It's easy to submit.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
But also, you know, the husband has to submit to
their wives as well.
I mean, of course.
I mean it should be a two-waything, we should be submitting
to one another.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
Okay, all right.
Where's that in the Bible?

Speaker 2 (28:10):
It's not in the Bible .
It's not in the Bible, but itshould not be a two-way street.
You know?
Here's the thing Men these daysaren't the only financial
provider for the household.
You need two incomes if you'regoing to live a certain type of
lifestyle, you know.
So if she ought to go out andshe ought to work and he working

(28:34):
, it should be some submissionsboth ways.
The Bible should need to verifythat this should be done.

Speaker 1 (28:43):
But if we're going to be a biblical church, biblical
thing, and we're abiding by theBible, and if the Bible doesn't
say that, then you know maybethat's the wrong word to be
submissive.

Speaker 2 (29:00):
So that's why women have a problem with it.
That's exactly why women have aproblem with it, because it's a
one-way street.
But then you still need us tomake the cookie crumble, so to
speak, to pull the cookietogether.
You still need our support.
So that submission thing is aone-way street in the Bible.

(29:24):
It's not fair.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
Who said the Bible had to be fair.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
I feel like if I'm going to submit to you, you
should be submitting to me aswell.

Speaker 1 (29:35):
You sure about that?

Speaker 2 (29:36):
Absolutely One hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
All right.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
Because I'm submissive, I don't have a
problem with it.
But I need you to also besubmissive toward me as well.
I'm not saying like I'm not theleader, I'm following you
because you're the husband,you're the leader, saying like
I'm not the leader, I'mfollowing you because you're the
you're the husband, you're theleader, you're you're the
listener.
You don't want the plans.
But without you, I mean I can't.
Those plans are not going tocome to to the full front.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
If I'm not helping, right there you go okay all
right, I hear you anybody elsegot anything to say out there.
I'll put it like this, becausethe word submit in this is to
mean to arrange under.
That's what it's talking aboutto arrange under.

(30:21):
So God has a special order.
Can we agree on that that?
God has a special order in thehome.
God has a special order in thehome and so when a godly woman
submits, she's understand thatthat's a reflections of God
order in the home.
Just like is you know in thechurch that we know that Jesus
is the head of the church and weare to submit to his leadership

(30:43):
.
So if we, if we, if weunderstand that, are we saying
Jesus is supposed to submit tous?

Speaker 2 (30:50):
No, okay, absolutely not, don't put this on jesus,
I'm putting this on 2024.
This is what I'm putting thison.
I'm not saying that you have tofall underneath me and I be the
leader and I be the listenerand I be the the planner of all
things, in all areas.
I'm not saying saying that I'mgoing to do all that, but I'm

(31:14):
saying in certain areas itshould be a form of submission
to me as well.
Let's see what.
Rob got to say.

Speaker 1 (31:22):
Rob says submission doesn't have to be a bad thing.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
It doesn't, but I still feel like it should be a
two-way street.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
You feel like it, I mean-way street.
You feel like it.
I mean, that's how you feel,but it's not biblical, right?

Speaker 2 (31:38):
Don't make it wrong, though, just because it's not
biblical doesn't make it wrong.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
Hmm, why you say that ?

Speaker 2 (31:46):
Because it's not wrong.
Okay, so I'll just want youknow what I can do, what they
did back in the day.
I can stay home and make somebiscuits they may not be grandma
biscuits I can stay home andtend around and build a garden
and grow stuff.
If that's what you want, that'sfine, but that's not what I do
and that's not what we need.
So if I'm, if I'm, if I'mhelping build this foundation,

(32:09):
then I think it should be alevel of maybe, maybe, maybe
it's not, maybe it's a differentword that I could use for it,
but in the same place, I feellike it should be, it should be,
it should go both ways.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
Okay, so maybe submissive is the bad word.
I mean, it's not the right word, I don't know, we're working as
a team.
Right, we're working as a team.

Speaker 2 (32:29):
Yeah, because at the end of the day, I'm still going
to be under you, I'm still goingto let you lead.
I mean, I'm not going to letyou lead, but I'm going to allow
you to do your part and whatGod called you to do.
But in the same instance, wouldI get a pat on the head like
I'm a dog?

Speaker 1 (32:50):
No, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (32:52):
And that's what women feel like.
That's why women have a problemwith it.
And Rob is so right.
The word submission it don'thave to be a bad thing, but the
way men have generated it overthe years has caused women to
see it as a bad thing.
And that's what I said in thebeginning.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
Right, that's what I said in the beginning.
Right, that's what I said inthe beginning that men use this
verse to be domineering overwomen.
Right, and that's what I saidin the beginning, right didn't.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
I say that first, says what patsy is saying, that
sometimes men listen to yourwoman.
She has good ideas and doessomething better than you, and
we know a woman's intuition andthat's real.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
That's what I'm talking about all right, so the
husband is not to demandsubmission from his wife, right
what?

Speaker 2 (33:51):
What do you mean demand?

Speaker 1 (33:52):
The husband is not to demand submission from his wife
.
Am I right?
Because you said he can?

Speaker 2 (34:03):
demand it if he want to, if he get it.
Now, that's going to be thequestion if he get it, but
demanding it.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
So this submission is as to her own husband, only,
only so.
Women are not to be subvert.
So you know some servants tomen.
They are equals even in thehome right, but god has invested
leadership into the husband I'mnot saying that I want to lead.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
I I never said that, but I said it should be a level
of where you submit to me aswell.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
So you think, I think the word submit, I think it
should be a level of, becausewe're talking about respect, so
there should be a level ofrespect for you.

Speaker 2 (34:47):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
Submission to me is only but respect, respecting
God's order, right, and I shouldrespect you Right.
That's what.
That's what I should respectyou.
What do you think about that?
Do you agree with that?
I should respect you enough tosay, look, if I, if I, if both

(35:09):
of us are working and I comehome first, I should cook.

Speaker 2 (35:15):
That's respect.
Well, Rob said seek wisecounsel from a wife is what
husbands need to do.
I agree.
I agree.
He also said I think the issueis, if it's not a biblical
submission, then it's not fairfor a man or a woman.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
Hmm, you said.
I think the issue is, if it'snot a biblical submission, then
it's not fair.
Okay, alright, okay, this isone thing I know.
Go ahead.
Go ahead, say what you got tosay.

Speaker 2 (35:50):
Oh, I was going to say our next point, but go ahead
.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
No, but I'm saying this is a contentious, as we say
.
This is a contentious thingthat, as I said before, many men
they take these verses whichthey shouldn't.
They take these verses and theytake them as domineering and
sometimes, as you said, womentake them and think that they
shouldn't.
They take these verses and theytake them as domineering and
sometimes, as you said, womentake them and think that they're

(36:15):
inferior.
But it's God's submission,knowing that, look, men and this
is what I want men tounderstand that in the end we're
going to have to give anaccount for the actions as the
head of the home, when we standbefore Jesus.
Okay.

(36:36):
We got to give an account.
So how the house runs, god'sgoing to hold us responsible,
right, but that headresponsibility does not mean
that we domineer our wife.
We respect each other and so ifwe?
Respect each other, and so ifwe respect each other, it comes
back to what you said.
If I'm and we're going to talkabout it, and I think we're

(36:58):
getting ahead but if I'm doinggodly, it's easy for you to
respect me in a way that I'mgoing to follow you.

Speaker 2 (37:08):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (37:08):
If I respect you.
When you say something, I say,okay, let me listen to it, Let
me go in there and let's work onthis thing together.
So I think it's a matter ofmutual respect.
Can you agree with that?

Speaker 2 (37:22):
Yeah, okay.
Hey.
Marie.
All right, all right, I wouldsay submit to one another out of
reverence for Christ.
Yes, yes, I love that, harold.
I love that.
Because the bottom line it comesdown to following Christ at the

(37:45):
end of the day.
So you know, to be submissiveit's okay Malaka put.
This submit thing was hard forme in pre-marriage counseling.
I can only imagine, especiallywhen you're so used to handling
your own and doing your ownthing and you know you ain't got
to be accountable for nobodyelse but you.

(38:05):
So you got that independentthing going on and then now
you're trying to become one.
And now you got to submit andyou got to.
You know, and a lot of womensometimes, that submission make
us feel like we have to getpermission and it's like I'm
grown why I need to getpermission.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
Because I would tell you Wait a minute.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
I'm not finished.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
So a lot of times, you know, when you're going from
being that independent personto now you're one, it's like,
hey, I want to go and do it so,so, but I got it, I got it.
I got to check with Jordan andmake sure it's OK with him.
Or even like, so you know, evenme, being married 32 years, the
ladies that Rick was like, hey,you want to go, do you want to

(38:47):
go do some something?
After hours at Rick I was like,yeah, but you know, I got to
check with my husband, make surehe ain't got no plans for me so
that way I can do this.
But you know, and vice versa,when Eric get ready to go hang
out with his homeboy, he'll belike, hey, babe, can I go do
so-and-so?
So, yeah, I get that, I getthat.

(39:09):
Malika yeah, I get that, I getthat.
My life yeah, I get that.
I'm sure it was but you know,when you get a moment, how did
you, how did you change fromthat?
I mean, how did you go aboutsubmitting when, after you had
already been such an independentperson and handling your own
thing, so, yeah, you could typethat and call that in too.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
Yeah, that'd be good, all right, no, so now being
such an independent person andhandling your own thing.
So, yeah, you could type thatin call at the end too.
Yeah, that'd be good, all right.
So now we saw those verses.
Now it says look, ephesiansfive or 28 and 29.
This is what I tell the husbandsto do.
In the same way, husbandsshould love the wise as their
own bodies.
He who loves his wife loveshimself.
You get that.

(39:50):
He who loves his wife loveshimself.
You get that.
He who loves his wife it's nothe who loves himself loves his
wife.
You see how much importance Godputs on loving your wife.
That men have to do Because hesays he who loves his wife loves
himself.
Not he who loves himself loveshis wife.
Right, for no one, because hesaid, for no one ever hated his

(40:15):
own flesh but nourishes andcherishes, just as Christ does,
the church.
That goes back to what you'resaying.
If the husbands love theirwives as their own bodies
because they don't hate theirown bodies, right, then respect

(40:36):
and submission is going tohappen.
Right, it's going to happen.
All right.
And so what we do, we willinglysubmit to the Lordship of Jesus
in our lives.
And because what?
Because we know that he lovesus.
All right, and so that's thesame thing that you, like you

(40:57):
said in the beginning what awife would do, they would
willingly submit or willinglyrespect their husband if the
husband is doing what they'resupposed to be doing, as
following Christ, right, right,loving their wives and all that.
And so that's why, when peoplesay that, well, you shouldn't

(41:19):
get divorced because theybeating on you, no, I go to this
verse.
I say, in the same way,husbands should love their wives
as their own bodies.
And if they're not doing that,that's a sense of divorce.
You can say, look, you'rebeating on me because you don't
love me, you know, even thoughthey go to the Gospels and say,
well, there's got to be adultery.
No, look at this.
Here it says if, in the sameway, husbands should love their

(41:42):
wives as their own body, he wholoves his wife loves himself.
Right, I agree with that.
So right, so, um, we respond.
We respond to love bysubmitting to jesus, and that
will happen when us, you know, awife will submit to them yeah,
all right.

Speaker 2 (42:00):
So, like I said, I don't have to ask permission.
I ask out of respect for him,because I want to keep him
around, and I want you to keephim around too she said it is a
courtesy.

Speaker 1 (42:12):
It is, it's a courtesy yeah, it's not an act
that you like.
You say it's not.
Um you asking can I go?
You know it's when you'resaying can I?
It's not, I need yourpermission to go, it's a
courtesy it's out of respect outof respect.
You know that, hey, you, my, you, my wife, you my husband, and I

(42:35):
respect you enough to say, hey,is it all right that I, because
you, you never know what plansyou have, you never, you know
whatever you may, what.
So it's a courtesy thing, youknow, they, they, you know, back
in the day, the, the ogs wouldsay you know you whipped, you
know what I mean.
Hey, I would rather be whippedwith my wife than to be whipped

(42:55):
with y'all jokers out there.
You know what I mean.
So one of the reasons, a lot ofreasons, why some wives have a
hard time submitting to theirmate is because the man is
anything but christ-like in love.
For that's it.
That's it in a nutshell, right,if, if, is that if you, if

(43:20):
you're not, if the husband isnot christ-like in love, it goes
back to your beginning.
I'm not gonna, you're not goingto respect me.

Speaker 2 (43:29):
That's what it's all about respect.

Speaker 1 (43:34):
It's all about respect.
But this, you know, if we talkabout it and we go to say the
old school, the old school wouldsay you know, you got to be
there, you got to do that, youknow, no matter what, you know
your husband, that's yourhusband, you got to stay there.
And this is what this is.
This is where the old schoolgoes.

(43:54):
And they miss they.
They reread this.
You know it's a lot about that.
Paul wrote about from him beingsingle, but peter also wrote
about it.
And again, what I'm, what I'mtrying to say is that I know
from being on Twitter and frombeing in the spaces that I am is

(44:16):
that a lot of this masculinityruins marriages and they get to
these scriptures and they lordover.
They get these scriptures andthey misinterpret these
scriptures and they only readone part of the scripture but
they don't read that part aboutloving your wife as you love
yourself, as Christ loved thechurch, and that supersedes all

(44:40):
of this other stuff.
Like in 1 Peter, 3 and 1 to 6,it says wives, obey your
husbands.
Some of your husbands may notobey the word of God by being
your husbands.
They become more Christians bythe life you live without you
saying anything, Alright.
So that's why you know you getthose unsaved husbands.
And the old school would tellyou you better stick it out,

(45:03):
just keep praying for them.
But if they beating on you, youain't got to keep praying for
them.
You're gone, you know.
But they'll go to this thinghere.
They will see how you love Godand how your lives are pure.
Do not let your beauty come fromthe outside.
It should not be the way youcomb your hair, or the wearing
of gold, or the wearing of theclothes.
Your beauty should come fromthe inside.

(45:25):
It should come from the heart.
This is the kind that lasts.
Your beauty should be a gentleand quiet spirit.
In God's sight, this is ofgreat worth and no amount of
money can buy it.
This was the kind of beauty seenin the holy women who lived
many years ago.
They put their hope in God.
They also obeyed their husbands.
Zedek obeyed Sarah, obeyed herhusband Abraham.

(45:46):
She respected him as the headof the house.
You are her children if you dowhat is right and do not have
fear.
And so men take this and theyjust go crazy with it.
Women read it and they say Igot to stay there until he
killed me.
You know, and they not, theynot understanding that.

(46:08):
Look, no, no, what did Paul say?
He says look, you got to submitto Christ and if you love
Christ.
Christ says that Christ diedfor our sins, so that, literally
, you, at the point where youwould die for your wife, if you
love her that much, you woulddie for her.
And so are we going to do thisthing biblically?

(46:31):
Are we going to do that Firstthe husband?
Who're going to do this thingbiblically?
If we're going to do that firstthe husband, who is going to be
held accountable at the end?
You got to be the firstpartaker of this thing.
You have to be a godly man.

Speaker 2 (46:43):
Amen, let's go to some comments.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
Y'all go through some comments.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
Let me go up top, okay.
So let's start with Ferg.
He said please understand thatif your spouse isn't doing what
they're supposed to do accordingto the word, it doesn't negate
you doing what you were told todo according to the word.
All right.
It's like this.
It's like this person is in thehospital because of cocaine.

(47:11):
So, as a Christian, I don'thave to show them love.
Yeah, you have to show themlove.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
It's like this person in the hospital because of
cocaine.
So, as a Christian, I don'thave to show them.
Of course you have to show themlove.

Speaker 2 (47:29):
Yeah, marie puts sounds like my mom when she
always quotes honor your motherand father, but she keep
forgetting the rest.
Yeah, you know, I understand, Iunderstand way, for I
understand what he means aboutum, still doing your part.
When I was was a young, I wantto say a teenager, maybe around

(47:53):
16, no, maybe younger than that,maybe 14, there was this lady
that lived across the streetfrom us to go to church every
Sunday.
So you get up on Sunday morning, get dressed, go walk down the
street because we had, you know,a few churches in the
neighborhood.
So she would go down to thechurch and I would watch her
every Sunday.
But every Friday night, youknow, me and my homegirl would

(48:17):
be sitting on the front porch.
You know, just chilling.
And there's her husband drunkerthan a skunk.
I mean so, so drunk.
Sometimes people would bedragging him home.
You know he would get off fromwork on Friday and go drink up
his whole paycheck and then comein, but she stayed right there

(48:37):
with him.
He got up the next morning.
But let me tell you somethingthis is a weekend thing, because
on Monday morning he was freshand ready to start his week and
you know so, on Friday when heget paid, he just do it all over
again.
And I just stated to myself Iwould never put up with a man.
I would have left him a longtime ago.
What's wrong with him?
You know he was an alcoholic,it was a wrap for him.

(49:00):
But this lady stuck it out withthis man, and I mean like year
after year after year.
There he would go in and out.
You know, as I got older I wasstill watching him, like now I'm
from 14, I'm 20, I'm 21, I'm 22, I'm 23.
This man is still doing this.
And all lo and behold, one dayhe went to church.
One Sunday, I saw him going tochurch and that.

(49:21):
Holy.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
Spirit got him, and that was it.
That was it.

Speaker 2 (49:24):
I never saw that man drunk falling down, drunk people
dragging him home again, drunkfalling down drunk people
dragging him home again.
She stuck it out with him.
I don't know if I would havebeen able to do that.
I just my patience.
No, I don't think I would havebeen able to do that, but back
then that's what women wasinstructed to do.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
So they was going about his verse.
But I guess the thing is isthat apparently he wasn't
beating on her or doingsomething destructive.
He was just on the weekend.
He would get drunk.

Speaker 2 (49:59):
Yeah, but he wasn't leading, he wasn't being a
loving husband.

Speaker 1 (50:03):
Well, how do you know he wasn't being a loving
husband?

Speaker 2 (50:05):
I mean, how are you going to lead if you're drunk?

Speaker 1 (50:08):
Well, this is on the weekend, 72 hours.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
Well, monday, tuesday , wednesday, thursday, he's
probably doing his thing, Idon't know, I just don't know if
I would have been able to do it.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
You would have been able to do it Right, right.

Speaker 2 (50:18):
And he ended up becoming one of the deacons of
one of the churches in theneighborhood, but it was years.
It was years.
Years, my family moved to thatneighborhood.
If he was you know what I'msaying, If he had already been
drinking years, but probablysince I was 10.
Right, you know, I don't know,I don't.
I don't know if I would havebeen able to do that.
And that's where we are.

(50:39):
When we bring that to um, webring it to 2024.
You got a lot of women thatain't putting up with that.
No, we, we, not we not puttingup with that.
That's just too much.

Speaker 1 (50:51):
Okay, all right.
So verses 28 through 29 teachus that the husband is to love
his life like he loves his own.
Husbands are to nourish theirwives and they are to cherish
their wives All right.
So we're going to be.
Nourishing, that means to bringto maturity.

(51:11):
So a godly husband helps hiswife to reach her fullest
potential in God.
He helps her to grow by meetingher needs and by being an
encouragement to her.
So that's what you're talkingabout nourish.
A godly man does that, bringsit, because a godly man should
be studying the Word.
He shouldn't be having Biblestudy.

(51:31):
You know, a godly man should beable to go into the word, and
not saying that a wife can't begoing into the word, can't do
that, but he has to lead.
I agree with that he has to lead, because again he's going to be
held accountable.
And I don't think I want toagain stand in front of God and

(51:53):
and and they say, well, why youlet Patsy do everything?
You should have been praying,you should have been doing that.
I don't want to stand in frontof that, I want to be.
You know, like we often say, wego to, we go to conferences and
things like that, and weseparate.
You know where the men aretalking to the men and women
talking and, and on your side wealways talk about at the end
and we separate.
You know where the men aretalking to the men and the women
are talking to them, and onyour side, we always talk about

(52:13):
it at the end and we say, well,what y'all talked about.
You know, just an overview, andyou always say, well, they want
to say we got to be praying fory'all.
You know we're praying for themen, praying for the men.
You say, well, what y'alltalked about?
I say, well, talk, talk aboutministry.
We should be praying.
We should be praying for ourhouses, we should be praying for

(52:34):
our children.
That's what our obligation is.
We're so worried about the wifepraying for us but who's
praying for?
the wife.
Hopefully you are, but I'm justsaying, when we go to the
conferences, they don't talkabout what you know.
You should be kneeling downpraying for your wife, speaking
life.
That's what it's all aboutnourishing you, bring her to

(52:56):
maturity.
You say, look, I'm not going tobe studying the Word, studying
the Word and leaving you behind.
No, we're going to do thisthing together and I'm going to
lead.
I'm going to lead and if, likeyou said before and you keep
saying, if I'm being godly,you're going to follow me.
That's the thing about it.
That's it.
We follow Christ because Christloved us so much that he gave

(53:19):
his life for us.
Right, he loved us, so he gavehis life.
And you got to be able to see.
If we're going to say, asChrist loved the church, you got
to be able to see that in methat I would give my life for
you.

Speaker 2 (53:37):
And if you give your life for me you will respect me
and you will follow me.
We're right there, all right.

Speaker 1 (53:43):
All right, what?
Let me see Rob G asked thisquestion.
Well, for example, women arestill instructed by the word All
right, yeah.
And you know men need to dotheir thing too.
You know women are instructedby the word to respect and

(54:11):
submit, but men are instructedby the word to nourish and love.
Right Now you go to first Peter.
Peter is telling them.
You know, in essence, that ifyou don't, if the man is not
doing what he's supposed to do,you still supposed to be um
submission, but the but.

(54:31):
The part about that that peopledon't understand is that if
you're beating or you're notbeing as a husband, how long you
stay is between you and God.
Okay.
Right, if he's beating on you,you should not stay with him

(54:52):
because 1 Peter tell you to showlove Because he's not loving
you Like Rob's.
Actually, outside of infidelityand abuse, are there reasons
for divorce?
What do you think Outside ofinfidelity and abuse abuse are

(55:12):
there reasons for divorce?

Speaker 2 (55:15):
well, you know, I mean, well, reverse is no.
But if you got a crackheadthat's stealing everything out
the house, selling the tv,selling the groceries, selling
the, selling the kids stuff, Imean like, what are you supposed
to do?
I mean like, come on, like whatare you supposed to do?

(55:38):
Kick them out, kick them outand don't divorce them.
But you know, I think itdepends on the situation.
I know that the Biblespecifically says infidelity and
of course you know,specifically says infidelity and
of course you know, if youdon't, you know no one should be
, hurting anyone physically.
So that's definitely a sign.
I don't know if that'sparticularly in there, but

(56:01):
that's definitely one.
But what about?
What about emotional abuse?
What about emotional abuse?
Because sometimes people lookat abuse as physical.
As you rolling up in the churchin sunglasses because you you
got a black eye or, you know,are you wearing a hat?
To preach because you gotclunked with the frying pan.

(56:29):
You know, you know, people lookfor the visible, the visual
scars, versus the, the ones thatare in the heart and in the
head.
You know, and so I don't know,I, I, I don't know, I don't know
the answer to that questionbased based upon the bible, it
would be yes, that's the onlyreason yeah, no, you got two

(56:52):
reasons.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
You know infidelity.
Mm-hmm Right and abuse.
And abuse.
You know everything else youshould be able to work.
I mean, you could workinfidelity and you could work
out abuse too.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
But what if you?
Okay, let's say, for instance,let's say, when you got married,
you and this person, y'all didnot even know Christ, mm person,
y'all did not even know christ.
And let's say, as, while you'retogether, you, you learn of
christ and you both get you know, give your life to christ, but
then you find out that y'allhave absolutely nothing in

(57:23):
common, nothing we at what.
You know what I'm saying?
It's like like you got married,you weren't saved, and now
maybe one person's saved and theother person's not saved, maybe
they both get saved at the sametime, but then they realize
that this is not.
My soulmate lived over there on31st Street.

Speaker 1 (57:47):
So you're saying, when the Bible says, what God
joined together, let no man putasunder, you're saying that God
did.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
They probably got married at a courthouse, yeah it
don't matter if it's acourthouse or whatever.
Well, because the courthousedoesn't say that.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
Yeah, I know, but you're saying that two of them
are non-believers.
They got married, so it's notlike God put them together,
right?
Or are you saying they gotmarried for sex?
You know what I'm saying?
They got married not becauseGod put them together, but
because they were just wanting,or maybe they got.

Speaker 2 (58:22):
Maybe they dated through high school, maybe they.

Speaker 1 (58:25):
Maybe they got dated, because Maybe they met in
college and they or maybe thegirl got pregnant and they got
married.

Speaker 2 (58:30):
Why does it have to be something?
Why just can't?
They just can't date and andsay they're in love, and then
they get married.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
Well, if they, in love love, can conquer all this
stuff.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
It's also temporary.
Why do you?
Say that Because I mean youknow, when you thinking about
like okay, how many, I mean Itrue love, is that love that's
going to stand the test of time.
How many girlfriends have youhad that you were in love with
or that you said you were inlove with?
How many guys that I dated thatI said I was in love with?

Speaker 1 (58:59):
But I was using the wrong term of love.
We didn't understand what lovewas.
That's why we could tell ourteenage boys and teenage girls
you don't know what love is.
Oh, I love him.
You don't know what love is.
You know how to.
Oh, I love him.
You don't know what love is.
You don't know.
Because that's not true love,that's not.
That's infatuation, that's noteven love, that's infatuation.

Speaker 2 (59:25):
Infatuation.
I can agree with that.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
Yeah, you know, but when you truly love somebody,
you know you stick with them,Right?
That's what I believe.
So you know, you agree withthat.
Okay, all right, good to go.
Anybody talking?
Anybody out there?
All right, it's almost time forus to wrap up.
It's almost time for us to wrapup.
It's 835.

(59:48):
And you know, again, you can goback and listen to us on the
podcast, apple and Spotify andiHeart, all right.
So number two is that he is tocherish, he's supposed to
cherish his wife to soften withheat.
You know, the husband is togive tender love to his spouse.
Tender love, tender love.

(01:00:08):
You're so special.
I don't forget how this song goAll right.
And so in first Peter and thisthis is another verse that a lot
of people, a lot of people messup.
You know, first Peter, threeand seven says you know that.

(01:00:30):
You know the women are a weakvessel, but that doesn't mean
they're not inferior or weak.
That just means the phraserefers to a vessel that is
delicate.
So women are delicate, you knowthey're diamonds, and so that's
how we got to treat our wiveslike they delicate, handle them

(01:00:50):
with.
You know like they delicate,handle them with you know like
they delicate, you know, likeyou know that.
So that's where we are on that.
Anybody else, anybody want tocall in and give their take on
what we talked about tonight, or, you know, just want to.

Speaker 2 (01:01:09):
So first is marriage licensing weren't a thing until
1639, but god's word started alittle while before that and we
can't add to his word okay yeah,god's word been in existence
from that you know I'm notadding to his word

Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
yeah but they didn't have marriage license.
But think about it.
They would do all kind ofthings to know that there was a
husband and wife.
There may not be no legalmarriage, but they were no
documentation.
They didn't have to getlicensed to marry, but they had

(01:01:50):
to do some things.
What happened with Rebecca andLeah?
When old boy tried to?
You know he worked for his wifebut he didn't get the right one
.
So they did something in orderfor you to acknowledge that you
were married.
It just wasn't no courthouseRight.

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
So you know it's not like certificates and stuff, but
it was cartwheels had afestival brain, the biggest yeah
, yeah gonna have a weddingcelebration we're gonna have a
wedding celebration, that's thewedding where jesus um may turn
the water into wine.

(01:02:30):
Who was getting married?

Speaker 1 (01:02:32):
Oh, I don't know.
Must be somebody that knewJesus.

Speaker 2 (01:02:37):
Yeah, the Bible doesn't say who wedding it was.
It just said it was a wedding.

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
Yeah, and it said his mom was there.

Speaker 2 (01:02:43):
And she was there, turned up, as Jamal Bryant said
he turned up.

Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
Don't get me started on that, don't even get me
started on him, don't even getme started on him.
Don't even get me started, allright.
So if you want to call yeah,yeah, women are diamonds hey, if
you want to call in, you cancall into 754-222-2219.
754-222-2219.
We have a couple of moreminutes that if you want to

(01:03:12):
express your thoughts aboutrespect, respect.
We hit it tonight and we had agood conversation about respect.
You know our wives' respect andhusbands' respect.
You know we respect.
I put it like this you know, Itell you the Holy Spirit, we are
showing respect for our wives.

(01:03:33):
When we are led by the HolySpirit, we show them respect
when we are led Absolutely.
And we treat them like, wenourish them and everything like
that.
And it goes back to again towhat you said in the beginning
If we do what we're supposed todo as godly men, our wives will

(01:03:53):
respect us.

Speaker 2 (01:03:54):
It'll be easy to follow.
Yeah, and I say all the time aslong as you follow Christ
wholeheartedly, then I don'thave a problem Doing my part.
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:04:08):
I like that.
I give you a clap on that.
Let's cheers.
Alright, so we're going to havea few more minutes.
You can call in 754-222-2219.
We want to take a couple ofcalls.
We have five minutes, if notwe'll be moving on, but we want
to take a couple of calls.
Call into 754-222-2219 and getyour.

(01:04:29):
You know your thoughts on abouttonight, what you thought about
tonight, your thoughts aboutwhat we talked about.
Respect what his name put, somerespect on my name.
You say something about thatevery time.
Yeah, man, because he was.

(01:04:50):
You know, respect is a respectme.

Speaker 2 (01:04:55):
Mm-hmm, but sometimes you got to give it in order to
receive it back.
If you're disrespectful, theperson that you're being
disrespectful to is going tomatch your energy.
They're going to bedisrespectful to you.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
So what's your definition of respect?
What do you mean when you sayrespect?
When you say respect, what doyou mean?
What do you mean when you sayrespect?
When you say respect, what doyou mean?

Speaker 2 (01:05:14):
What do you mean when I say respect?
I said disrespect.
Mm-hmm.
You don't, you want.
I don't want you being rudewith me or being shady with me
or, you know, being nasty towardme, not being supportive of me.
That's not respect.

Speaker 1 (01:05:33):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:05:36):
That's why I say you know, if you and that's really
in any situation you don't haveto be with people who are
married, respect is respect.
You give respect where it's dueand if you're being
disrespectful, then you knowthat person is going to be
disrespectful to you.

Speaker 1 (01:05:57):
Right, I agree, I agree, yeah, I totally agree.
You know they're going to bedisrespectful for you if you
don't respect you know, ifyou're not loving God, you know
your wife ain't going to respectyou because she'll be like you
ain't loving God.
I'm out here praying and youain't praying.
We don't want that.

(01:06:17):
We don't want that.
We don't want that.
All right, well, we're gettingready to get on off of here.
We want to thank you, give ashout out to everybody who
participated.
You know we got to thank Godfor Ferg we love.
You know, uh, that you uh wasin there.
Uh, he was saying that.

(01:06:38):
He says, he says his point isthat they didn't, uh didn't or
could or could divorce becauseof the reasons that we're
discussing today.
Okay, all right, all right,yeah, they have, you know,
different reasons to divorcethey.
You know there wasn't nobeating and all that kind of
stuff.
It was like Jesus said, it wasadultery, that was it.

(01:06:59):
But we understand.
You know, abuse is just onething.
Want to give a shout out toSamson.

Speaker 2 (01:07:05):
I heard you say the line was busy.

Speaker 1 (01:07:07):
The line is busy.

Speaker 2 (01:07:08):
Something going on with that.
I don't see where it's at.

Speaker 1 (01:07:10):
Your line is busy.
Something going on with that?
I don't see where the line isbusy.
Nope, I don't see where theline is busy.

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
Thanks, harold.
Thank you for chiming in there,that was awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:07:24):
Hey, I got you set up .

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
I got you set up.
Thanks a lot.

Speaker 3 (01:07:37):
What'd you say?
Oh, I was just saying, youstopped telling people thank you
, so I was following up?

Speaker 1 (01:07:41):
yeah, I was.
I wanted to make sure that umremember it was something going
on yeah, but it looks like it'sall good now.
If you try it again, I don't,but I don't see like it's all
good Now.
If you try it again, I don't,but I don't see that it's busy.
I don't think that it's busy.
I can make sure that everythingis a-okay in that, and we want

(01:08:03):
you to call in.
We got just a couple of minutes.
I like to hear from Ferg, I liketo hear when he talk and drop
some nuggets.
You know, that's what I like tohear, but if we got to move on,
we got to move on.
We want to thank you, each andevery person, for joining us.
Uh, tonight, as I often say,you know you could have been
doing something else, but youdecided to.

(01:08:24):
You know, just join us, youknow.
And so this is a good thing.
Respect is a good thing.
All right, respect is a goodthing, you know.
So, if you want to help us, youknow, to create more
programming is right there.
You could give by cash app oryou can give by Zelle.
You can help us, you know, justto further this marriage

(01:08:45):
ministry and we would love foryou to give.
That's a way that you can give.
All right, all right.
Well, it is time to go.
I enjoyed our conversationtonight.
Again, we want to thank eachand every person who joined us
tonight.
Um, we, we love you all.
We, we really do, and uh, we,we respect you all and we

(01:09:09):
respect your time and we want tosay good night, don't forget.
Please like, stop what you'redoing right now and like, please
like this video right there soit can go viral.
All right, like and be sure togo on Apple Podcasts, spotify,

(01:09:31):
iheart, amazon Music and justlisten and make sure you comment
.
Please make sure you commentand we will respond to your
comments.
And maybe you want to say somemore things and we will respond
to your comments.
All right, you ready to go,aren't you?
You ready to go?
Aren't you Time to go?
You ready to go?
I see that you ready to go,ain't you?

Speaker 2 (01:09:54):
Good night.