Unlock the secrets to a fulfilling, lifelong marriage as we sit down with Bishop Gerald and Lady Cheryl Banks, a couple whose love has blossomed over an astonishing 41 years. Their wisdom, deeply rooted in spiritual faith and practical experience, offers a blueprint for not just surviving, but thriving in a committed relationship. From the sacred origins of marriage to the daily acts that cement a loving bond, this episode is a treasure chest of insights that promises to enrich your understanding of love, partnership, and divine intention.
Feel the warmth as Bishop Gerald and Lady Cheryl Banks unwrap the pillars that have supported their four decades of unity—trust, forgiveness, and communication stand out as the load-bearing walls of their marital home. As you listen, you'll learn how they've navigated the challenges of change and growth, keeping the flame of friendship alive through humility and compromise. Their anecdotes and advice serve as a guiding light for any couple looking to reinforce their connection and ward off the shadows of conflict and negativity that can encroach upon even the happiest of unions.
Wrap up your listening journey with heartfelt stories that exemplify the importance of shared faith and mutual respect. The Banks couple's reflections on overcoming obstacles, both big and small, provide a candid look at the effort required to build a strong, supportive relationship. Whether you're engaged, newlyweds, or celebrating decades together, this episode is a testament to the enduring power of love and the small, continual acts that weave a tapestry of deep affection and understanding in marriage.
Watch the live show on Youtube.
Follow us on Facebook & Instagram at @marriageinreallifepodcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, welcome to marriage in real life, welcome,
welcome.
We want to thank each andeverybody who has, who is
joining us for this time we'regoing to have a special guest
with us tonight.
Yeah, all right, we're soexcited to have them join us
tonight.
You know, as I often say, youcould have been doing something
(00:20):
else, but joining us is onething.
That is is great, and I'm soexcited about having this young
couple.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Absolutely All right.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I'm so excited to have this young couple with us
tonight.
You know they are our spiritualmother and father in the gospel
.
They got on us.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Yes, they did.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Right, thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Hey, you know they got.
They got on us and so we're soglad to have them with us
tonight.
We got Bishop Gerald and LadyCheryl Banks.
We want to give everybody comeon, y'all, give them a hand clap
for being here.
All right, we're so excitedabout having them with us
tonight.
You know they've been marriedfor 41 years.
(01:06):
41 years, that's a long time.
That is a long time We've beenmarried, almost 32.
So they got us.
You know about a lot, right,yeah, about 10 years.
All right, all right so, butwe're glad to have them with us
and they're going to share withus.
They're going to have just amarriage talk and they're going
(01:27):
to have we're going to have someprayer at the end and hopefully
enough time.
We have some, some questions.
You know, if somebody want tocall in and ask some questions
or you can put the questions inthe chat, we'll be monitoring
that, but we're so glad to havethem, so we want to bring over
Bishop and Gerald and LadyCheryl Banks.
How y'all doing All right, howy'all doing, we're doing all
(01:49):
right, we are happy.
You know, we're happy, youhappy babe.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Most of the time.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Oh yeah.
So I'm like most of the time.
Okay, All right.
Well, all right.
So I'm glad I'm making youhappy most of the time.
All right, Good to go.
Well, we will like again.
We're excited to have Bishopand Lady Cheryl share with some
couples tonight, and so we'rejust going to turn it over to
(02:20):
y'all, Bishop and it's all youall.
God bless you.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
First of all, we want to thank God, amen, for being
on here with my son and mydaughter in the Lord and offer
them what they're doing to helpmarriage and be better.
And we praise God, amen, forcoming on and allowing us to be
able to share from ourexperiences.
(02:48):
And I want to thank God for mywife, cheryl Lady Banks.
We got married December 25th1982.
And I am grateful, amen, thatGod has blessed me with the
woman of God, a mother, agrandmother and a great
grandmother, and to 41 yearsshe's still right there by me
(03:13):
every day.
I start to stand by her everyday.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
So you want to say something.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
You want to get started.
No, say something to the people.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Say hi.
Hi guys, we're so glad to behere, we're glad to have.
We thank Pastor Eric and FirstLady Pat.
People are inviting us on.
We love them so much and I lovetheir relationship.
They have a wonderfulrelationship and I love how they
laugh and enjoy each other, andthat's what marriage is all
about.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Amen, and as we, we got a few points we're going to,
you know, try to bring out.
And I just want to reiteratesomething about marriage.
You know, blue prayer that wegot is the Bible and we applied
to our lives and then we triedto make sure that we were
following God's guidelines formarriage as best we could.
(04:03):
I always want to be somehiccups and some challenges, but
you got to remember this If youlove God, it's going to work
out, amen.
So my wife is going to startout and I'll just chime in when
she's letting me.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
So my husband came up with five or six different
points that we're going to talkabout the first one is when did
marriage?
Begin why?
Why do we have marriage?
And it started with in the verybeginning, when God created the
heavens up.
He created Adam and then hefound out that Adam was alone
and he needed companionship.
So Mary started out ascompanionship.
(04:40):
So he put Adam to sleep, took areal bow, made Eve and that was
the very first marriage.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
And when you look at that particular scenario, you
understand that God, god didthis, god brought them together
and inside of bringing themtogether, amen.
God was establishing somethingin this birth day he had created
and he made man to me and hegave man a helper, he gave man a
help me, which is his wife, andthat's such an awesome thing,
(05:13):
amen.
The Bible says when a man findsa wife, he finds a good thing,
obtained favor from the Lord.
And, like I said, we've beenmarried 40, 41 years and I'm
going to get into that a littlebit as my wife go to look once.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Okay.
Next point is when you marry,you should marry for love, and I
know so many people marry fordifferent reasons, security,
different things, but thisshould feel that we should marry
for love.
If John first, john four andeight, says whoever does not
love does not know God.
(05:50):
So if you don't love yourspouse, then because you know
he's included in that, is easyfor us to try to love others,
but the person that we live inthe house with we should love
them.
And if we don't love our spousethen we don't love God.
So and then when you're in love, you have a joy, that that kind
(06:11):
of joy that you can't get fromanything else, not from buying
houses or cars or having moneyor career.
When you in love with theperson, you have that joy, that
fellowship with them, that lovethat my brother love belt and
banks.
He used to say that my husbandgot from work.
I'll be standing at the doorand he said I used to jump up
(06:32):
and down.
I don't know how true that was,but I was glad to see him and I
really was glad to see him, andI do when still now, when he's
gone and he comes in, it's justlike a happiness.
Come over me, and that's that.
That's so sweet, that's thekind of love that we should have
one for each other.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Okay, all right, yeah , I think God for that.
Now I want to say this aboutsometime when people look at
years, let me explain something.
You know they look at thelongevity of marriage.
You got a lot of people thatare in married a long time but
they are not.
They are not together.
What I mean by that is if youhave a house, a home, and if you
(07:23):
don't invest in that home overtime everything starts breaking
down.
When things start breaking outin that house, you know if you
don't repair it, you pretty soonyou're going to have a mess on
your end.
So you've got to invest in yourmarriage.
It starts with God.
I married a lot of people overmy years of ministry and I
(07:44):
always tell them this do notleave God at the altar.
Now, most people want to Godly.
When they want God to sanctionit, they want it in a church and
that's all that's well and good.
But when you bring God intoyour marriage, you bring God
into your marriage.
God have guidelines for the manas well as the woman.
(08:07):
So that way, if we start goingcountry, we go back to daddy God
and find what the guidelinesare and say, okay, let's bring
ourselves in and let's do it theway God wants to do it, and a
lot of times they may.
What causes marriage to haveissues and problems.
If the people want to submit tothose guidelines because of
pride, because I want to beright, you know what I mean, I
(08:30):
know.
You know whatever, everybodygot their own reasons, but you
got to keep God is the groupthat hold marriage together.
When two people are like thisand when they start spreading
they, may God hold them together.
He will hold that marriagetogether until y'all can get it
figured out.
Amen, all right, amen.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Last little point about love that we want to say
that love is when the otherperson's happiness is more
important than your own.
So that's, if you want tomeasure men, or how to measure,
rather, you're really truly inlove with that person, is that
person more important to youthan you getting your own, your,
your happiness?
Our third point says that youmust have trust in the marriage.
(09:14):
Trust starts with forgiveness.
Okay, trust doesn't mean thatthat person will never do
anything wrong or you will neverdo anything wrong, but trust
means that I trust God enoughthat we can get over anything
that might happen in ourmarriage.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Amen.
And that's very, very importantbecause I also want to say this
I meant to mention it earlierwhen you go into a marriage, one
thing you got to rule, likethat option is, if it don't work
on getting a divorce, thatoption cannot be on the table.
If you go into marriage, youmust get that option out.
(09:53):
There shouldn't be an option.
That shouldn't be something yougot in your back pocket Because
you're going there used to makethose vows you say to death, do
us part, and in the midst ofthat you always go, have some
challenges.
Remember, god is the glue.
But you got to take thatdivorce option off the table.
Me, my wife, you know we'resaying no one mentioned it out
of house.
(10:13):
We don't want to hang around.
We don't want that spirit eataround our house.
We talked about that.
We can get upset with eachother, but we want to take that
off the table and say we cantrick us from time to time, but
you got to stay close to God soGod can get you back on track.
And when you, when you starttalking about Our marriage and
you want, you want to love andyou want to trust that person,
(10:34):
they're gonna be some time, whenit's tested.
They're gonna be some time whenit's tested, for you have to
understand, even you have tounderstand this.
God got you and God got thatperson.
You do right by God, no matterwhat they are doing.
You've got to do right by Godat the end of the day, and God
handle your desires and yourprayers Concerning your spouse.
(10:55):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Amen.
Please remember to forgivequickly, just forgive.
If you hold on to things andthings get into your heart, it's
gonna even though you don't sayit out loud, it's gonna
eventually Interrupt themarriage and cause confusion.
And so forgive, just forget.
You want to be forgiven.
You know if you make a mistake,you want them to forgive.
(11:21):
You know you want your spouseto forgive you right away.
So forgive quickly, all right,and, and I'll repeat one more
time, trust is in the Lord.
Okay the Lord is perfect.
Jesus was perfect.
He walked the face of thisearth and he went through
everything that we're goingthrough.
Jesus was the only perfect one.
So eventually your spouse gonnatrip and do something that you
(11:42):
just don't like.
You know, and I'm not talkingabout the little things like
which way he rolls the toilettissue I already put the seat
down or, you know, really lockedthe door or something like that
.
I'm not talking about thoselittle things.
Those little things we reallyshould just miss fast.
If you want to stay married fora long time, you're gonna
realize your husband might drops, your wife might drop stuff on
(12:03):
the floor.
They have shirts, their pants.
Well, don't hurt to pick it up.
Go pick it up, you know.
If it's really bothering you,if it's not body, wait for him
to pick it up or her to pick itup, you know.
But don't make a big deal outof those small things, hey man.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
Keep this in mind as well.
Oh, when you are, deal withmarriages.
And I want everybody tounderstand this if you got a
issue about, let's say, it's allAbout the child in school,
alright, deal with that issueabout the child in school.
(12:42):
Don't bring up something thathappened two years ago.
Don't bring up something thathappened five years ago.
Keep everything you see become.
Now you're throwing laws in afight that should have been
distinguished a long time ago.
And what happens?
You got to keep the lines ofcommunication open.
That's the key.
I'm gonna say that's the key tomarriage.
(13:02):
The enemy knows he can stoptalking.
Talking.
He got you Because now he'sgonna put thoughts in your mind
Because you're not communicating.
Well, you have one that candiffuse one thing.
Sometimes I may get heated, canspeak to me and give me
scriptures.
I got to come down.
I got to humble myself as a manof God because the word gonna
(13:27):
be right.
Sometimes she can be wrong andI give up scriptures.
You got all the scriptures.
You say this is what God saysand we need that in marriage.
We we have village of the.
You know the name.
She helped me and I help her.
There are times a man, I'mwalking.
I may stumble, she's the other,catch me and she may stop.
Remember we had a little gamegoing on.
(13:49):
We first got married.
You may remember that honey man, he's not gonna let you out,
love me.
We used to go back and forthyou are love me.
You know me, man.
We was going at no, no, butlove you, boy, you gonna love me
.
Why?
Because we listen this.
All of us are brain.
We go further.
Bring something to the table andif you love, if you love a
person you know, you go and readfirst Corinthians, chapter 13.
(14:14):
It talks about and one thing Ilike you say love.
Keep no record of wrongdoing.
Stop putting out that resumeEvery time you get mad.
You got a whole list of stuff.
Oh, you know, you did this in1992 and you did this in 2005.
Yeah, maybe, man, in 2018.
(14:36):
You know, talk to her.
Don't do that.
Don't do that, amen.
If you are going about thebirth chicken, all about the
birth chicken, keep it in bound.
Don't bring junior.
Talk to you, all right.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Guys, we're nowhere near perfect, you know, and I
love, and first lady Pat, I'msorry, and First lady passes
says all the time because we'renot perfect.
It took us 41 years to get whatwe are today.
We still not perfect.
But what?
What we do is now we allow theword of God to be our mediator.
(15:13):
So we might be going back andforth because we're opposite.
We're opposite is day and night.
Everything he liked, he likeschickens.
I can't stand, you know, we'rejust, we're just opposite.
But what we do is when we'regoing banner and back and forth
and one of us it could be eitherone of us might quote the word.
Once the word comes forth, wehave our saying we say yes, dear
(15:34):
, once you.
Once we say yes, dear,conversation over.
Okay, the word has come forth,we just got to get in line with
the word.
So our next Point we wanted tomake is and I know that there's
a old song say about 50, 50 love, okay, not 70, 40, not sick,
(15:54):
you know, but not 70, 30, but 50, 50, no league.
We say that it's a hundredhundred.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
We have to give a hundred percent of our time and
our love to each other and thatcan be a challenge at times,
because when you got couples,you got believe it or not, you
got couples in in relationship.
They compete with one another,but they're competing in the
wrong spirit, you know me.
(16:22):
They compete one another andjust to, just to, just to warm
up one person man.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
We're just together with my wife heard.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
I heard when she going through, I'm going through
and I promise you this.
When she having a rough day andI call and she said, baby, this
is.
I said, come on, let's pray.
I'm gonna pray with a rat D ina rat.
Yeah, why?
Because I, she'll caught.
Encourage me.
She says, don't worry about it,god got it.
Then she knows, you tell me,remember that sermon you preach,
remember what you say to thechurch and then what it does is
(16:53):
bring that spirit down.
So we, we work together.
We, we working together.
Like you said, you got 41 years.
I remember that house.
If you're not putting in thehouse when you, when the door
fall off, you ain't gonna fix it.
Or when the wonders broke, gameon, fix it.
Oh, you know when things arehappening, the roof, meet dog,
you ain't gonna fix it.
You don't invest in yourmarriage.
(17:14):
You only gonna get out what youput in.
You don't believe me.
I tell you what.
Don't put nobody in the ATMmachine in the bank and go up
there Tomorrow, get me athousand dollars.
You ain't put nothing in.
That ain't nothing coming out.
You know what I mean.
When we, when we got marriedwith young, we did everything
wrong.
I'm gonna tell y'all right nowwe did everything wrong.
(17:38):
We didn't get no counseling, wejust jumped up and got married
and we paid for a lot of stuffthat we dealt would be part of
what I had to deal with.
That's why we don't mind aboutsharing.
I'm we transparent.
We did some stuff, I did somestuff.
Hey, man, she did some stuff,we did something in our marriage
, but God kept us togetherbecause we were saved and in the
(18:01):
mid my mama's there to me.
She says to save people oughtto be able to get along, and I
know forgot that.
So another word if you know, ifI'm right, you right now, god
is the one that's gonna be rightat the end of the day, because
pride will give you a falsesense of yourself and you thank
you all in the bag of chips andGod got away.
I bring you back to yourselfand let you see yourself.
(18:24):
But we're in this together.
We are all in your luck.
Then I Think I'll share with onpast the area about, about the
clay, and that was that thatreally helped us.
Help me out, he helped my wifeout when we was in a marriage
class ourselves and they gave ussome clay, they gave us a white
clay and they gave us someblack clay and we had to mix it
(18:49):
together until we only saw onecome.
You know, and he'll come by andlook at it.
He said, no, I still see toomuch white, you ain't mixing the
good.
So when two lives come together, her life disappeared, my life
disappeared.
We become as one, but we stillgot our own personality.
We have to work on that, amen.
(19:11):
You come from two differentbackgrounds.
You come in from two differenthomes where you was raised, but
you love each other enough tosay you know what.
I am willing to compromise so Ican be with the one I love and
you want to give up some thingsin marriage.
She was to give us some thingsin marriage, but you give it up
for it For both of you.
(19:32):
Amen, to be happy.
Amen, watch this.
I'm gonna share this with y'all.
You know, sometimes my wife wasyoung and another couple
started having problems.
She would come to me and starttalking about their problem and
then she would take the womanside and I'll take the man side,
(19:53):
and then we end up arguingabout other folks' problems and
all of a sudden, god justdropped us.
But when we arguing- about.
We married each other, but wedon't got into it about another
person's problem and we don'teven know the whole situation.
We don't know the wholesituation.
That's why I don't like to.
I don't counsel people unlessboth of them are there, because
you gonna give me your side andthen you gonna make your side
(20:16):
bigger than your room.
So listen, let's work together.
You know what I mean, butremember the lines of
communication.
That's very important.
I got to hit this because in itand our pastor, pastor Eric,
been in the armed forces.
He understand this and don't goin the armed forces.
When the enemy want to take youout, the first thing he does is
(20:38):
take out the lines ofcommunication.
Back in my day, back in my cab,on watching days, you know what
I mean.
They cut out the telegram wireso you can't communicate, amen.
When they were back and movingup World War I, they cut down
the telegram poles and theydon't want you to communicate
with your commander, so they'llstop the lines of communication.
(20:59):
And once that's cut off, youknow what I mean.
You can't get no instructions,you can't get no advice, you
can't get no counsel.
Always keep the lines ofcommunication open and let me
help somebody else.
Do not try to discuss stuffwhile you're angry.
I love somebody.
If you table it, well, makesure you're talking about it.
(21:19):
Don't table it and push it backand make that that pound big
that you already got that stuffout in 1992.
You know, get rid of that stuff.
You say we ain't gonna talkabout it tonight, later, but
make sure you're talking aboutit.
Don't push it until by all of asudden now you're gonna make
love.
You know I'm not wearing itback.
No, no, no, we need to talkabout that.
We're gonna come up again.
(21:39):
Amen, all right.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Amen.
Entitlement is one thing thatwe wanted to discuss, and we
live in a generation now whereeverybody think they're entitled
.
I shouldn't be treated likethis.
I shouldn't be talked to likethis.
Our entitlement is somethingthat you should push aside.
Replace it with gratitude.
Just be thankful.
Whenever we're going throughchanges, I always tell myself
(22:04):
Lord, I saw, thank you, god, Ithank you for the roof over my
head.
I thank you for my husbandcoming home every night.
I thank you that we have foodon our table, and I just started
to give gratitude to the Lordfor the things that I have and
that the things that I think I'mmissing is just not that
important anymore.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
And that comes to as you get older and you'll walk
with God and you'll walk withyour wife.
You start valuing things.
When you're younger, you knowyou put all the values on
certain things and those thingsthat is not as important.
You ever notice about olderpeople your grandmother, your
great grandmother, the greatestvalues in this family staying
(22:47):
together.
And you ever notice when youyoung in your marriage and you
just about to blow your top andyou start talking to older
person, they'll look at you andsmile and they'll laugh because
they don't bend through it.
It's just a tip over everythingand sometimes all you can say
never throw the baby out withthe bath one.
(23:07):
In other words.
You know, sometimes people messup their life, but love will
keep you, amen, from making abad mistake.
If you listen to God, it'llkeep you from making a wrong
mistake.
And then a lot of times youknow you don't went through the
hard part.
You know you don't went throughthe hard part.
It don't make no sense for meto try to trade this must-thing
(23:29):
in.
You know what I mean.
I don't know how to drive a newcar.
They got too much technology,too much stuff.
You know, amen, they say.
You know, dance with the girlyou came with.
You know what I mean.
I met my wife in eighth grade.
In eighth grade, I met ineighth grade and I'm telling you
, we were friends.
Our life went apart but we cameback together and 81 and God
(23:53):
have kept us together since.
Now I've been knowing over 50years.
I thank God for that.
You know what I mean Because wewere friends first.
But even in midst of that I knewshe was going to be a good wife
.
I knew that I wasn't quiteready, but I knew she was going
to be a.
She wasn't ready either.
She thought she was, but shewas.
You know what I mean.
She looked at Paul, but she,she had some stuff too that she
(24:14):
had to deal with.
Amen.
But God kept us and I'm goingto tell you when we got saved
amen.
That puts on the rightdirection, on the right point.
I love my wife.
I thank God for her.
Amen.
That's not what I'm going to dofor her.
I'm going to be there for her.
You know what I mean Amen.
I'm going to tell you about thechurch.
I'm going to tell you about mychildren.
(24:35):
I'm going to tell you about mywife.
Amen.
Somebody.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
That's funny and we do that with each other.
I remember when my husbandfirst guy saved and when Lord
saved him, the Lord saved him.
I would save a couple of monthsbefore him, but we were in a
parking lot one day.
And you see, you never know, youdon't ever say what you want.
But my husband was really saved.
(25:02):
I mean, he was really trying tochange his life and the Lord
was really dealing with him.
And so we pulled up into theparking space and I guess the
guy thought it was his parkingspace.
And he jumped out and he'syelling and screaming at my
husband, my husband's sitting inthe car.
He's not saying a word.
Next thing, you know, I don'tknow what happened I opened the
(25:23):
door, I get out the door and I'myelling and screaming at the
man.
I remember I got saved firstand my husband had to remind me
to say honey, you saved,remember.
But we do those things together.
But I tell you, like my husbandsaid, we've been married 41
years.
(25:43):
We're not the same.
We got 23.
Life has changed over thoseyears.
So you have to learn to dealwith changes.
Even the things that we likechange as we matured.
Those things we like when wewas 23 years old, we just don't
do anymore now that we're 64years old.
So life changed.
(26:04):
So you have to be able toadjust with the change, with the
change in your spouse.
I buy him certain food, butI've learned that those foods
change because of his diet maybe.
We used to go to the park a lot,we used to do a lot of outdoor
things.
We don't do that much outdoorthings anymore.
So life just changed and adjust.
(26:26):
Just don't get stuck in onething and say, oh babe, but you
used to, okay, but now you don'tfeel that same weight, so
adjust to it.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
And that's the key.
That's different.
You find out what makes yourspouse happy.
All right, follow what makesyour spouse happy.
I remember.
But get back to that incidentabout the man.
I hadn't never seen my wife getupset.
I really haven't.
You know, we had no, not likethat man that's so dumb, that's
(26:58):
so ready to fight, that's soready to fight.
I mean, she ready to fight?
That man, look at her likewhat's wrong with you?
And I'm trying to rub up downand how about?
Shout out but hey, man, sheready to go.
But I appreciate it.
But at the same time, you knowwe'll say now, as we look at our
(27:19):
life, you know you're going tohave let me say this to you, I'm
seriously every marriage willhave some challenges and some
points in your life and I callthose points and challenges
growth spurs, how you handle it.
Either you're going to grow oryou're going to shrink back.
And one of the biggest issues Ithink it's pride.
(27:43):
Man, you got to handle thatpride.
Brothers I'm talking to thebrothers you ain't going to be
right all the time.
No, you ain't gonna be right ToAbraham.
Listen to your wife, even thoughwhat Sarah was crying about was
dead wrong, god, listen to yourwife, and I promise you
(28:03):
brothers, if you learn how tosay yes, dear, you can sleep
better at night.
The food takes better.
I'm telling you man, hey man,you gonna lose your health.
Just say yes, dear, you knowwhat I mean.
You gonna be alright.
Just say yes, dear, hey man,because one thing about it takes
two to all, if you wish.
Eventually they gonna talk tothemselves for a minute and
(28:28):
eventually they gonna go inthere and find something else to
do.
And you know what you do.
You get up and you come in andyou kiss them Love.
No harm, baby, you know I loveyou, my dad shared this with me.
My dad said to me, man, you know, they were married about 70
years, not close to 70 years,they're still alive.
My dad said I think me and mywife had a really serious
(28:53):
argument, and he was talking tome.
He said son.
He said, man, you think me andyour wife are gonna have no
problem.
I said well, you know.
He said I'm gonna tell you whatI do.
Dad reached in his wallet pastthe air, pulled out a picture
with mom about 19 years old.
He said every time they get aserious argument.
(29:15):
He put out that picture.
Remember why he married thatgirl.
You didn't say girl, he saidthat girl.
He said everything.
Just leave him.
Then all the anger, all thatstuff, just leave him.
I got one of my wife Boy askthat picture.
She said I'm gonna lay across.
Tell her somebody.
Hey them, jerry curls everynight.
Then you know he's gonna havethem out, gonna look at that
(29:35):
picture.
Remember why I married herAlways.
Remember why you married yourwife.
All that sweet stuff, no sweetletters that you wrote.
Remember that stuff Because I'mtelling you the thief come not
but to steal, kill and destroyand brothers, when you know you
got a good wife or sister, whenyou do, you got a good husband.
Oh, let me say this I gotta saysomething.
(29:57):
Give me a minute.
I want you to stop hangingaround for a man who always got
issues with a man trying to putthat stuff on you or what they
want.
Don't hang around.
If you can't help them, I ain'tgonna use them.
I can't do it Cause my husbandain't like that.
All men like that and all thedevil is a lie.
All the devil is a lie and I'mtelling you you got to watch
(30:19):
that spirit.
Because they are miserable,they want you to be miserable,
amen.
Now, a lot of times, you know,we run into couples and they
have issues and you ain't gonnabe able to help everybody,
because some people don't wantto be helped, but you can help
somebody by the life you live,how you treat your wife.
(30:39):
Watch this every marriage isdifferent.
Some marriages, you know, thewife do this for the husband or
the husband do this for the wifeand she like that.
Don't try to push that intoanother marriage.
Cause they happy what theydoing.
Girl, you mean to tell me myman do this or my man do that
for me?
That's your household.
(31:00):
You got to rule them trustful.
I'm happy over here.
You know what I mean.
So you be happy over there,I'll be happy over here, and
then we'll be in a happy place.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
But don't try to bring that into my marriage Mess
up my marriage.
Speaker 4 (31:14):
I remember, you know, my wife, you know she'll fix my
food.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
And she'll bring it to me.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
You know what I mean.
I know somebody I ain't gotthat that's your marriage, you
know.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
And then one of them, one of them something came up.
He ought to get up and leavethat alone.
You mess with something else alittle bit.
Leave it alone.
It will work for us.
My wife's gonna problem withthat Because she know I'll fix
her as well.
You know.
She know I cook, I go in thekitchen, I do a little something
.
I'm gonna tell y'all anotherthing in 41 years I remember me
(31:43):
and my wife got married when shewas mad at me and she didn't
know I can cook.
We had just got married and shewas mad, but she wouldn't say
nothing.
I wouldn't have started cooking.
But that food was smelling goodand she had started trying to
be mad.
I knew she was hungry, so I hadto excuse myself.
I said I'm not full of food,I'm trying to eat, like that.
(32:05):
But she could be mad.
But we just bust out of thestore and laugh.
But these are the things thatyou're gonna encounter over
years of marriage.
Amen, Amen, Amen.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
That man cooked at four o'clock in the morning,
okay, so, and the one otherthing that he does, that we do
together, is that when we comein the room, when one person
walk in the room together, wewalk over and we kiss each other
.
It's just a habit now.
Today we went to Starbucks, Gotready to leave Starbucks, we
kissed each other.
(32:37):
I know, yeah, but we don't whenwe leave out the room.
We don't leave out the roomwithout kissing each other.
We might at the house.
You know you're in and out theroom all the time, but he'll
call me back, hey, hey, hey, youforgot something.
So it's just a habit that wehave now of what are we years.
(32:58):
A lot of people like tochecklists.
Okay, so what's a greatmarriage?
So here's a few things that wehave on the checklists.
Both of you must be patient andkind and thoughtful one to the
other.
You have to think about doingnice things.
Sometimes we have to.
It should come automatically,but sometimes it doesn't.
(33:19):
So put a little thought into it.
My husband travels, sometimesfor revivals or different things
, and I used to have to pack allof his clothes.
I still pack them.
He picks them now but I used toput like a little note or
something in his clothes so thatwhen he gets aware of it he can
know that I'm praying for him.
I'm thinking about it.
My Austin, a Texer, he'll callme.
(33:41):
You know, one of the deaconsusing many jokes about it,
because I said man, you justleft out the parking lot.
What you calling that woman,but is those little thoughtful
things?
over the course of your day thatyou do.
Bill each other up, don't teareach other down.
We all have weaknesses and badpoints, and you could spend a
(34:03):
lifetime talking about aperson's weakness, but instead
why don't you?
Talk about the great thingsthat you do, what you love about
that person, what makes youhappy, and think about it
through the course of the day.
Don't always think about thosethings that irritate you, to
make you mad or upset.
Listen when the other person istalking, listen actively and
(34:25):
don't listen to respond, butlisten to what they're saying.
Try to hear their heart, whythey're saying this, what's
going on with them.
You know, my husband taught myboys that here, what they're not
saying as well as what they'resaying.
Sometimes we're trying to buildup to what's really in our
hearts.
So we see a lot of stuff and ifyou jump on the first thing you
(34:47):
say, you might miss out on whatwe're actually trying to say.
So listen intently and thenspeak with transparency.
You know, don't always try to.
You know well, when we talk tothe Lord we do little.
These and that Get to the point.
You know, we don't have to addso much into it.
But be honest and open.
If you can't be honest and openwith your spouse, who can you
(35:09):
be honest and open with?
Like he said, we're friendsfirst.
You know to hang out togetherand make jokes and I would
pretend like I was one of thefellows and lean over in the car
with him and hey, man, look atthat woman over there.
You know that kind of we werejoking guys, okay, but we were
just hanging out with each otherand I said this earlier and I
(35:30):
can't say it enough Be quick toforgive.
Don't hold on, don't stopspeaking for days and days,
cause you still mad thisThursday and you still mad about
what happened on Sunday.
You know, don't hold on,forgive fast, it'll help you,
you know, and then see the goodin one another.
You know that goes back to whatwe said earlier, but you know,
(35:51):
see the good in it.
You know, don't always see thebad, don't always have to pick
up what went wrong.
You know, and that's whateverything in your life there
always be a hold on what wentwrong in your job, what's going
wrong in your neighborhood andthey were trying somebody to see
you.
All you got is negative thingsto say.
You know, try to have apositive and then we're a team.
(36:12):
So act as a team.
You know you work together as ateam.
We watch basketball, football,those different sports, you know
.
But if everybody.
Get out there and do what theywant to do and try to shine and
come together.
You're going to lose, I cantell you right now, if you're
not working as a team.
If you want to pass the ball inbasketball, you got to take all
of the shots.
Well, the team the other teamgoing to figure that out and it
(36:34):
just going to guard you.
So then you're going to besurrounded.
Everybody else is going to besitting out there not doing
anything.
So we're together as a team,talk to each other and work out
difficulties and problems in thefamily as a team.
Don't keep things from eachother, you know.
Talk it out and then, of course, most of all, love one another.
Well, and I wasn't going totalk about that a little bit.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
Yeah, Thank you, honey.
So you have to respect everyperson's boundaries.
There are some things that mywife got a line drawn that you
don't cross those lines.
You have to understand whatthose lines are.
Remember I say people changeevery 10 years, Every 10 years.
(37:22):
So you got to make thatadjustment to change.
Okay, as you get older, youchange it.
You have children, you changeit.
You know what I mean.
But love will make theadjustment to that change.
Remember, you got physicalstuff going on as you get older.
You got to make adjustments toaccommodate that, whether it be
(37:43):
the man, whether it be the woman.
Remember you love that personand you are the ride and live
and say ride and die, ride andlive with that person Because
that's your closest thing to you.
The Bible says this you knowDavid and Jonathan were so close
.
You know Jonathan knew that hewas going to be David's going to
(38:04):
be the next king, and so whenthey met, they just revealed all
the issues to each other.
They stripped each other,looked at each other.
This is my room.
This is what I really think.
That's what marriage is allabout.
You got to hide in front ofyour spouse.
You know what I mean.
Be transparent with your spouse.
You got a problem talking out.
Don't argue that.
Talk it out.
(38:25):
Honey, we got a problem.
Sometimes things be a littleuncomfortable to talk about, but
you got to talk, you got totalk.
If you don't talk it out, allit's going to do is that mole
here is going to become amountain.
It started out small, where youcan step over it and deal with
it.
It becomes bigger and you starttripping over it.
You keep on until somebody hurtthemselves and you look back.
(38:47):
You know that started fiveyears ago.
When you see something going on, stop what you're doing.
Okay, we need to talk aboutthis before we get to a point
where you can't talk about it oryou don't want to talk about it
.
So always keep the dialogueopen.
I'm going to say it again that'svery important.
Keep the dialogue andcommunication open.
We about done, we about righttime.
(39:07):
Keep the dialogue.
I'm going to talk aboutsomething I've been waiting on.
That's sex.
Everybody say whoa.
I know, I know.
Let me say this about sex.
Sex is not bad.
Intimacy is not bad.
Seder took what God made goodand made it bad and tried to
(39:28):
make it nasty.
What you mean bitch.
But what happens is when Godmade Adam and Eve the Bible,
they both were naked, All right.
Adam saw Eve who she was, hesaw Adam who she was.
But what Satan does?
Satan don't want there to besex, to be an instinctive
married Satan.
You can do it when you getready and that becomes so custom
(39:51):
of people now that a lot oftimes I'm going to say this
nobody will get offended A lotof times they may.
God would like all of us to beall virgins, but because of
society, sometimes we don't.
Now, when you talk about sex,can I say this Sex is 10% of
your marriage.
10% Like no, nothing, nothing.
(40:12):
What you going to talk aboutafter you get out of bed, what
you got to say, man, that'staking for good, but maybe you
don't let.
You can't say that for so longyou got to have something to
talk about outside the bed.
You know what I mean, becauseonce you get physical, once you
get finished, you look at eachother, you stare at each other.
(40:33):
What you ain't got nothing tocome, or you ain't got nothing
to talk about.
You can't laugh.
Look, don't be calm, thinkabout it.
And we put so much emphasis onit.
There are rules of a lot ofmarriages.
It's important, it's necessary,for the Bible says this to the
wife and to the husband yourbody don't belong to you, it
belongs to the other person.
(40:53):
Now, men and women don't usesex as a weapon.
In other words, you know to getwhat you want.
You know what I mean.
If you don't buy what I want,it ain't going to give them that
.
No, you're in the wrong.
That's wrong.
Come on, come on with me, don'tget off now.
Stay with me.
You're in the wrong.
Sex was made for mutualenjoyment between both parties,
(41:19):
not different one person to getoff, no, no, it don't work like
that.
It's both parties comingtogether.
You like anything else in yourmarriage?
That's got to be comingtogether, okay, and it's got to
be in job, all right.
And when you look at it fromGod's perspective, it was good,
like.
I said, the enemy came in tryingto make it nasty, trying to
(41:41):
make it out of bounds, andthat's when we got a lot of
problems now with people, youngfolks, who don't want to get
married and want to keep doingthat and think it's right, but
not according to the word, butwhen they want to get married,
they want to get married underthe banner of God and that's it.
They want God to bless themarriage, but they don't want to
live according to theprinciples in the midst of that
(42:03):
blessing.
All right, and think about it.
When you look at your wife andyou marry your wife, you marry
for the whole package.
Okay, if there are some issuesin that area in the bedroom,
talk about it.
Don't wait until them to try tofake it, until you make it.
Now, talk about it becauseeventually, on a surface, you
(42:24):
got to be willing to talk aboutit, the honest about it, be open
about it.
As a matter of fact, a lot ofthat stuff you'll be talking
about before you get married.
So you're not going in.
A woman can't have children.
You didn't let the man know Aman can't have it, the woman
know.
So that way you won't beblindsided inside the marriage.
You should have told me Behonest, Because you're planning
on spending the rest of yourlife with that person.
(42:45):
You understand, amen?
That's all I'm going to sayabout that, because I don't want
to get too deep into it,because but I just want y'all to
get the genesis of what wetalked about.
We've been married 41 years.
We've had some highs, we've hadsome lows, we have some
challenges.
The one thing I appreciateabout this lady right here,
she's a rock, amen.
(43:06):
She love God and she love me.
Hello, and I love her, and alot of times we'll just roll
over and, hey how you doing Allright, and sometimes you know
she like to watch Perry Masonand all these type of I like
Kepler movies.
Every now and then I give themwatch Perry Mason movies.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
I'll be asking a question.
Speaker 4 (43:26):
She know all the characters.
Sometimes she'll come in andwatch a little Kepler with me.
You know what I mean.
She be there.
She know we're going to see yoube there, you know.
And every now and then she likelittle Christmas movies, the
one that makes you cry.
You know what I mean and shewatch me around.
I'm going to hear now that yougot to be really satisfied.
And one thing I like aboutPat's In air and y'all know I'm
(43:49):
finna tell on y'all they gotwhat they call date night.
Much respect, much little bigguy for me and mama.
You will not get them to talkon date now.
I call you on date night.
Pat's gonna give me threeminutes.
You got three minutes.
Daddy bitch Gotta hang up andhe would get up there for a boy
(44:10):
and pass the call.
He gonna get off there for hecan be talking to president by.
He get off there for me, passon the floor.
I got to go and I respect that.
I laugh, I tease about it.
But, brother, you keep on doingwhat you do and pass.
We keep on loving every.
Thank y'all for the invite.
We get ready to get off andlove you.
Appreciate you so much Amen.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
All right, that was awesome talk, awesome, awesome
Bishop.
We thank you, thank you.
Thank you, thank you so much.
We we are no pass.
It took down some notes.
We've been monitoring the chatand I mean it's been going back
(44:52):
and forth.
I was wondering was somebody onTJ?
They're riding live, so I guessthat's a.
That's a good.
That's a good thing.
When you talk about riding live, yeah, you know.
You know I always hear rightand die, but I don't.
I haven't too much hurt ridinglive, so I'm thank God for that.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
Oh, Wow, let me see who I okay.
So Lindsay said it's the smallthings, and I totally agree with
that.
The small things matter so much.
Mm-hmm you know, it's thethings that you Don't even
really think about.
It's that that little thing tobe like oh, he was thinking
about me, oh, she was thinkingabout me.
(45:31):
So I like that.
Lindsay, thanks for that,because it's definitely the
small things that make the bigthings so much better.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
I would say, bishop, that we had the people Coming in
and said I asked the question.
You know, was it talk good?
And everybody, you know peoplesaying so good, absolutely.
So we really thank you.
And, lady Cheryl, you know wegot to get y'all a little clap
(46:01):
Alright.
So we have the phone number outthere.
If somebody wants to call inand ask some questions, I mean
they can go on, they can ask thequestions Through chat as well.
We I do have a couple of prayerrequests and but if you want to
call in and you want to askBishop and Lady Cheryl some
Questions we got a little bitmore time you can dial into
(46:25):
seven five four, two, two, two,two, one nine.
That's seven five four, two,two, two, two, one nine, and you
can ask them some questions.
You're not asking us noquestions tonight, right, babe?
No, no.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
I have a question.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Okay, no, you don't need to call in.
Speaker 3 (46:50):
My question is about sex, one of my favorite.
You know, the Bible says thatthe bed is undefiled, right?
So when it talks about it beingundefiled and you kind of like,
because my thing ever ain't onit.
Yeah, collaborate on that.
Just a little bit for me, oh.
Speaker 4 (47:09):
Oh, okay, what for y'all.
Speaker 3 (47:12):
You can answer my elaborate.
Speaker 4 (47:16):
Go in the bedroom and close it, though it ain't
nobody watch you with girl.
Oh, all right, amen, amen.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
Now.
Does that answer your question?
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Yes, Like you know, if you can add things like yeah,
he's asking questions, did hejust say?
Speaker 1 (47:37):
he said if you go?
He said if you go in, you closethe door.
Right there you go.
Right, don't be, want to bewhipped?
No, no, no, whipping, no, son,you know, patsy don't like to
(48:08):
get this, she wouldn't like toget the software, she want to
get those Hard wheels, like catwoman, you know oh.
Speaker 4 (48:17):
I also Seriously, though, patsy.
You know people, people try tomake that Big than what it is,
but what you do between yourhusband and God, god is.
You know.
God is the only one that's gotto be able to judge your and we.
If he's comfortable with it andyou're comfortable with it, you
(48:38):
know what I mean.
God's well, please.
You know what I mean Becauseyou got different watch this.
You got different cultures thatdo different things and
different customs.
Always keep that in mind.
But what you want to do, youwant to honor God inside the
vehicle as well outside thevehicle.
Okay.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
Okay.
So one more thing I like whatyou said was, like you know,
keep things in the present.
Even though you may bedisagreeing or you, you having
your moment to just keep thingsin the present.
It's so important because whenyou bring up stuff from the past
, it actually shows that youreally haven't forgiven For it
and because it's still there.
(49:20):
So I really like that.
And keeping a line ofcommunication open Was another
great mom.
These nuggets you guys droppedwas so awesome.
I was writing them down and I'mactually put them up on my
little board so when I'm havingan issue I can go to my.
You know my topics and they'reokay.
All right, I can do this Idon't have to be too mad at yeah
(49:44):
.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
Like I said you know, for all of those, please you
like and share.
Please make sure you like, likethis video, like this, you know
, and make sure you share it.
There is somebody that neededto hear this talk tonight.
You know I it was.
It was good for us and many ofyou said it was so good for you
all, and so you can always goback and Look at it and once we
(50:07):
put it on the Apple podcast, youcan listen to it as well.
But we want you to make sureyou like and share and because,
again, somebody needs you youmay know somebody whose marriage
needs to have this Talk and andfrom Bishop and Lady Cheryl, we
really need to have this talk,so we want you to go and like
(50:29):
and share.
Make sure you share with yourfamily and with your friends and
your co-workers.
You know a lot of.
You know this is spreading thegospel, right?
Am I right about that, bishop?
Yeah, this is spreading thegospel because, as Bishop said,
the enemy wants to destroy themarriage.
He wants to destroy what Godhas made, anything that God has
(50:51):
made.
He wants to destroy it, and sothis is part of the gospel of
Jesus Christ.
You know where, where we need,we need God.
We have to have to be thecenter of that.
So if you want to call in again, we only have about a couple of
more minutes 754 222 2219, youcan call in and ask your
(51:14):
question.
Don't be shame, right?
You know, you know, I know Fergand easy and Samson is on here.
You know, I know they they notshamed they.
You know they love to call in,yeah, so but yeah, we would want
you to call in.
You got any any other thing youwant to say?
Bishop and Lady Cheryl, how didyou enjoy the talk tonight?
Doing the talk I enjoyed?
Speaker 4 (51:33):
it with a blessing.
Speaker 1 (51:35):
I always thank.
Speaker 4 (51:36):
God for first cause.
She always gonna have somegreat insight and I appreciate
it.
I want to say this to all themarried couples and how Satan
works If he can divide thefamily, he can pick off the
children one by one.
Wow, he can have the children.
He can destroy their seed aswell.
You always want to divide thefamily.
(51:57):
Destroy the family, so you dothat Family.
Destroy the family, so you doall you can to hold your
marriage together.
Stop listening to the worldview and listen to God's deal
marriage, because the world saylove them and leave them any.
What God said, you work it out.
Yes, you work it out.
You do the best you can to workit out.
(52:18):
You know what I mean.
All of us got issues, but youwork it out.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
You know what I mean that woman that met you that the
will have so many of them.
Speaker 4 (52:27):
But she was able to deal with those issues when she
ran into the Messiah Right.
So you work it out.
They may sometimes, you know,it may take a while, but you can
work it out.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
All right baby.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
Gotta give you something to bitch.
You gotta give you something to.
You know we were talking manbeing bishop me.
Yesterday he was preaching tome.
As you know, every time I callbishop, I know I got a sermon,
you know, and this is a writer,we know I, he got a sermon for
me.
Yeah, we always got a sermon.
We were talking about evengetting ready for the night and
we were.
We were talking about how, howPeople some people, especially,
(53:03):
I would say, the youngergeneration or whatever they look
at marriage more as a contractversus a covenant.
And so with a contract, you canamend a contract.
You, you know, at the end ofthe contract it tells you how,
when you have a dispute, whatyou need to do, and they say,
look, we either go to a mediatoror we can just go straight to
court, and so that's whathappens.
(53:25):
You know, they can tear it up,they can amend it.
Try to amend it.
Or I don't like what you'redoing, I don't like what this.
So let me know what.
This contract is null in void,but you can't do that with a
covenant.
You can do that with a contract, but you can't do it with a
covenant.
And so that's why they gostraight to the judge.
Now we want to get divorcedbecause they treated as a
contract versus a covenant, likebitches say, hey, you're gonna
(53:46):
work it out.
You know, unless it's a, youknow it has to be some abuse.
You know, get all of these kindof things, that's.
That's really that.
I think it really messes,messes up marriage.
But if it's communication orirreconcilable difference, why
we can't reconcile, we should beable to reconcile you know, you
know Bishop said hey, it's notan option.
Speaker 3 (54:06):
It is not an option.
If you go into, it stand.
If it don't work, the option isI'm getting a divorce.
If you, you got to take thatoption off.
Speaker 1 (54:13):
The table off the table from the job.
Speaker 3 (54:16):
You gotta get that to y'all, you gotta be able to
figure quickly.
I'm telling y'all I wrote somestuff down, I'm excited about
using this when I talk to people.
Speaker 1 (54:25):
Yeah, yeah, including for myself.
That's it.
It's not an option, so we'regonna take that off the table
before we get married, but Ilove that, all right you know,
I'm gonna say this too and I'mdone, uh, kind of funny.
Speaker 4 (54:38):
But man the wife was having, they couldn't get along.
So the wife said you know what,I'm out of here.
And she went and packed hersuitcase.
She took a little longer thanman.
We're going to die upstairswith this suitcase.
She said where you going.
He said where you let your heador lay in mind.
Uh-huh, it's gonna be.
My god and your whole team aregonna be both here.
(55:00):
We're gonna be doing ittogether.
Speaker 3 (55:03):
I'm right, yeah, I like that.
Speaker 1 (55:04):
Yeah, yeah, I like that even to, even tonight,
bishop and and Lady Cheryl, um,you know, uh, for a good friend
of ours from North Carolina,ferg, is on the line.
He's.
He's a widower, but he said,hey, it's good.
You know, you, you was good fora single folks as well.
At tonight, um, Samson said,you know, stop listening to the
worldview and start listening toGod's view.
(55:27):
That was a fire that he putnext to that.
So that was some good nuggets,as Patsy was saying, very good
like it.
So we again, we thank you allyou know, for taking time out of
your business schedule to To dothis for us, because you didn't
have to do it.
Speaker 3 (55:44):
Right.
Speaker 1 (55:45):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (55:46):
I wouldn't have heard the end of can you believe?
Bishop turned me down.
Speaker 4 (55:54):
No, I wouldn't do y'all like that.
You know, I love you, love youguys.
Yes, as fast, as you bought aself-tilted rip my month, so I
had no choice.
Speaker 1 (56:02):
Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man.
Well, again, uh, we want you tolike and share, we want you to
be able to listen to.
We're on the apple podcast.
Uh, we want to make sure wehave the prayer tonight.
We want to make sure we havethe prayer.
Well, welcome to marriage in real life, welcome,
welcome.
We want to thank each andeverybody who has, who is
joining us for this time we'regoing to have a special guest
with us tonight.
Yeah, all right, we're soexcited to have them join us
tonight.
You know, as I often say, youcould have been doing something
(00:20):
else, but joining us is onething.
That is is great, and I'm soexcited about having this young
couple.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Absolutely All right.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
I'm so excited to have this young couple with us
tonight.
You know they are our spiritualmother and father in the gospel
.
They got on us.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
Yes, they did.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Right, thank you.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
Hey, you know they got.
They got on us and so we're soglad to have them with us
tonight.
We got Bishop Gerald and LadyCheryl Banks.
We want to give everybody comeon, y'all, give them a hand clap
for being here.
All right, we're so excitedabout having them with us
tonight.
You know they've been marriedfor 41 years.
(01:06):
41 years, that's a long time.
That is a long time We've beenmarried, almost 32.
So they got us.
You know about a lot, right,yeah, about 10 years.
All right, all right so, butwe're glad to have them with us
and they're going to share withus.
They're going to have just amarriage talk and they're going
(01:27):
to have we're going to have someprayer at the end and hopefully
enough time.
We have some, some questions.
You know, if somebody want tocall in and ask some questions
or you can put the questions inthe chat, we'll be monitoring
that, but we're so glad to havethem, so we want to bring over
Bishop and Gerald and LadyCheryl Banks.
How y'all doing All right, howy'all doing, we're doing all
(01:49):
right, we are happy.
You know, we're happy, youhappy babe.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Most of the time.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Oh yeah.
So I'm like most of the time.
Okay, All right.
Well, all right.
So I'm glad I'm making youhappy most of the time.
All right, Good to go.
Well, we will like again.
We're excited to have Bishopand Lady Cheryl share with some
couples tonight, and so we'rejust going to turn it over to
(02:20):
y'all, Bishop and it's all youall.
God bless you.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
First of all, we want to thank God, amen, for being
on here with my son and mydaughter in the Lord and offer
them what they're doing to helpmarriage and be better.
And we praise God, amen, forcoming on and allowing us to be
able to share from ourexperiences.
(02:48):
And I want to thank God for mywife, cheryl Lady Banks.
We got married December 25th1982.
And I am grateful, amen, thatGod has blessed me with the
woman of God, a mother, agrandmother and a great
grandmother, and to 41 yearsshe's still right there by me
(03:13):
every day.
I start to stand by her everyday.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
So you want to say something.
Speaker 4 (03:18):
You want to get started.
No, say something to the people.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Say hi.
Hi guys, we're so glad to behere, we're glad to have.
We thank Pastor Eric and FirstLady Pat.
People are inviting us on.
We love them so much and I lovetheir relationship.
They have a wonderfulrelationship and I love how they
laugh and enjoy each other, andthat's what marriage is all
about.
Speaker 4 (03:41):
Amen, and as we, we got a few points we're going to,
you know, try to bring out.
And I just want to reiteratesomething about marriage.
You know, blue prayer that wegot is the Bible and we applied
to our lives and then we triedto make sure that we were
following God's guidelines formarriage as best we could.
(04:03):
I always want to be somehiccups and some challenges, but
you got to remember this If youlove God, it's going to work
out, amen.
So my wife is going to startout and I'll just chime in when
she's letting me.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
So my husband came up with five or six different
points that we're going to talkabout the first one is when did
marriage?
Begin why?
Why do we have marriage?
And it started with in the verybeginning, when God created the
heavens up.
He created Adam and then hefound out that Adam was alone
and he needed companionship.
So Mary started out ascompanionship.
(04:40):
So he put Adam to sleep, took areal bow, made Eve and that was
the very first marriage.
Speaker 4 (04:50):
And when you look at that particular scenario, you
understand that God, god didthis, god brought them together
and inside of bringing themtogether, amen.
God was establishing somethingin this birth day he had created
and he made man to me and hegave man a helper, he gave man a
help me, which is his wife, andthat's such an awesome thing,
(05:13):
amen.
The Bible says when a man findsa wife, he finds a good thing,
obtained favor from the Lord.
And, like I said, we've beenmarried 40, 41 years and I'm
going to get into that a littlebit as my wife go to look once.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Okay.
Next point is when you marry,you should marry for love, and I
know so many people marry fordifferent reasons, security,
different things, but thisshould feel that we should marry
for love.
If John first, john four andeight, says whoever does not
love does not know God.
(05:50):
So if you don't love yourspouse, then because you know
he's included in that, is easyfor us to try to love others,
but the person that we live inthe house with we should love
them.
And if we don't love our spousethen we don't love God.
So and then when you're in love, you have a joy, that that kind
(06:11):
of joy that you can't get fromanything else, not from buying
houses or cars or having moneyor career.
When you in love with theperson, you have that joy, that
fellowship with them, that lovethat my brother love belt and
banks.
He used to say that my husbandgot from work.
I'll be standing at the doorand he said I used to jump up
(06:32):
and down.
I don't know how true that was,but I was glad to see him and I
really was glad to see him, andI do when still now, when he's
gone and he comes in, it's justlike a happiness.
Come over me, and that's that.
That's so sweet, that's thekind of love that we should have
one for each other.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
Okay, all right, yeah , I think God for that.
Now I want to say this aboutsometime when people look at
years, let me explain something.
You know they look at thelongevity of marriage.
You got a lot of people thatare in married a long time but
they are not.
They are not together.
What I mean by that is if youhave a house, a home, and if you
(07:23):
don't invest in that home overtime everything starts breaking
down.
When things start breaking outin that house, you know if you
don't repair it, you pretty soonyou're going to have a mess on
your end.
So you've got to invest in yourmarriage.
It starts with God.
I married a lot of people overmy years of ministry and I
(07:44):
always tell them this do notleave God at the altar.
Now, most people want to Godly.
When they want God to sanctionit, they want it in a church and
that's all that's well and good.
But when you bring God intoyour marriage, you bring God
into your marriage.
God have guidelines for the manas well as the woman.
(08:07):
So that way, if we start goingcountry, we go back to daddy God
and find what the guidelinesare and say, okay, let's bring
ourselves in and let's do it theway God wants to do it, and a
lot of times they may.
What causes marriage to haveissues and problems.
If the people want to submit tothose guidelines because of
pride, because I want to beright, you know what I mean, I
(08:30):
know.
You know whatever, everybodygot their own reasons, but you
got to keep God is the groupthat hold marriage together.
When two people are like thisand when they start spreading
they, may God hold them together.
He will hold that marriagetogether until y'all can get it
figured out.
Amen, all right, amen.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
Last little point about love that we want to say
that love is when the otherperson's happiness is more
important than your own.
So that's, if you want tomeasure men, or how to measure,
rather, you're really truly inlove with that person, is that
person more important to youthan you getting your own, your,
your happiness?
Our third point says that youmust have trust in the marriage.
(09:14):
Trust starts with forgiveness.
Okay, trust doesn't mean thatthat person will never do
anything wrong or you will neverdo anything wrong, but trust
means that I trust God enoughthat we can get over anything
that might happen in ourmarriage.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Amen.
And that's very, very importantbecause I also want to say this
I meant to mention it earlierwhen you go into a marriage, one
thing you got to rule, likethat option is, if it don't work
on getting a divorce, thatoption cannot be on the table.
If you go into marriage, youmust get that option out.
(09:53):
There shouldn't be an option.
That shouldn't be something yougot in your back pocket Because
you're going there used to makethose vows you say to death, do
us part, and in the midst ofthat you always go, have some
challenges.
Remember, god is the glue.
But you got to take thatdivorce option off the table.
Me, my wife, you know we'resaying no one mentioned it out
of house.
(10:13):
We don't want to hang around.
We don't want that spirit eataround our house.
We talked about that.
We can get upset with eachother, but we want to take that
off the table and say we cantrick us from time to time, but
you got to stay close to God soGod can get you back on track.
And when you, when you starttalking about Our marriage and
you want, you want to love andyou want to trust that person,
(10:34):
they're gonna be some time, whenit's tested.
They're gonna be some time whenit's tested, for you have to
understand, even you have tounderstand this.
God got you and God got thatperson.
You do right by God, no matterwhat they are doing.
You've got to do right by Godat the end of the day, and God
handle your desires and yourprayers Concerning your spouse.
(10:55):
Amen.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Amen.
Please remember to forgivequickly, just forgive.
If you hold on to things andthings get into your heart, it's
gonna even though you don't sayit out loud, it's gonna
eventually Interrupt themarriage and cause confusion.
And so forgive, just forget.
You want to be forgiven.
You know if you make a mistake,you want them to forgive.
(11:21):
You know you want your spouseto forgive you right away.
So forgive quickly, all right,and, and I'll repeat one more
time, trust is in the Lord.
Okay the Lord is perfect.
Jesus was perfect.
He walked the face of thisearth and he went through
everything that we're goingthrough.
Jesus was the only perfect one.
So eventually your spouse gonnatrip and do something that you
(11:42):
just don't like.
You know, and I'm not talkingabout the little things like
which way he rolls the toilettissue I already put the seat
down or, you know, really lockedthe door or something like that
.
I'm not talking about thoselittle things.
Those little things we reallyshould just miss fast.
If you want to stay married fora long time, you're gonna
realize your husband might drops, your wife might drop stuff on
(12:03):
the floor.
They have shirts, their pants.
Well, don't hurt to pick it up.
Go pick it up, you know.
If it's really bothering you,if it's not body, wait for him
to pick it up or her to pick itup, you know.
But don't make a big deal outof those small things, hey man.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
Keep this in mind as well.
Oh, when you are, deal withmarriages.
And I want everybody tounderstand this if you got a
issue about, let's say, it's allAbout the child in school,
alright, deal with that issueabout the child in school.
(12:42):
Don't bring up something thathappened two years ago.
Don't bring up something thathappened five years ago.
Keep everything you see become.
Now you're throwing laws in afight that should have been
distinguished a long time ago.
And what happens?
You got to keep the lines ofcommunication open.
That's the key.
I'm gonna say that's the key tomarriage.
(13:02):
The enemy knows he can stoptalking.
Talking.
He got you Because now he'sgonna put thoughts in your mind
Because you're not communicating.
Well, you have one that candiffuse one thing.
Sometimes I may get heated, canspeak to me and give me
scriptures.
I got to come down.
I got to humble myself as a manof God because the word gonna
(13:27):
be right.
Sometimes she can be wrong andI give up scriptures.
You got all the scriptures.
You say this is what God saysand we need that in marriage.
We we have village of the.
You know the name.
She helped me and I help her.
There are times a man, I'mwalking.
I may stumble, she's the other,catch me and she may stop.
Remember we had a little gamegoing on.
(13:49):
We first got married.
You may remember that honey man, he's not gonna let you out,
love me.
We used to go back and forthyou are love me.
You know me, man.
We was going at no, no, butlove you, boy, you gonna love me
.
Why?
Because we listen this.
All of us are brain.
We go further.
Bring something to the table andif you love, if you love a
person you know, you go and readfirst Corinthians, chapter 13.
(14:14):
It talks about and one thing Ilike you say love.
Keep no record of wrongdoing.
Stop putting out that resumeEvery time you get mad.
You got a whole list of stuff.
Oh, you know, you did this in1992 and you did this in 2005.
Yeah, maybe, man, in 2018.
(14:36):
You know, talk to her.
Don't do that.
Don't do that, amen.
If you are going about thebirth chicken, all about the
birth chicken, keep it in bound.
Don't bring junior.
Talk to you, all right.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Guys, we're nowhere near perfect, you know, and I
love, and first lady Pat, I'msorry, and First lady passes
says all the time because we'renot perfect.
It took us 41 years to get whatwe are today.
We still not perfect.
But what?
What we do is now we allow theword of God to be our mediator.
(15:13):
So we might be going back andforth because we're opposite.
We're opposite is day and night.
Everything he liked, he likeschickens.
I can't stand, you know, we'rejust, we're just opposite.
But what we do is when we'regoing banner and back and forth
and one of us it could be eitherone of us might quote the word.
Once the word comes forth, wehave our saying we say yes, dear
(15:34):
, once you.
Once we say yes, dear,conversation over.
Okay, the word has come forth,we just got to get in line with
the word.
So our next Point we wanted tomake is and I know that there's
a old song say about 50, 50 love, okay, not 70, 40, not sick,
(15:54):
you know, but not 70, 30, but 50, 50, no league.
We say that it's a hundredhundred.
Speaker 4 (16:01):
We have to give a hundred percent of our time and
our love to each other and thatcan be a challenge at times,
because when you got couples,you got believe it or not, you
got couples in in relationship.
They compete with one another,but they're competing in the
wrong spirit, you know me.
(16:22):
They compete one another andjust to, just to, just to warm
up one person man.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
We're just together with my wife heard.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
I heard when she going through, I'm going through
and I promise you this.
When she having a rough day andI call and she said, baby, this
is.
I said, come on, let's pray.
I'm gonna pray with a rat D ina rat.
Yeah, why?
Because I, she'll caught.
Encourage me.
She says, don't worry about it,god got it.
Then she knows, you tell me,remember that sermon you preach,
remember what you say to thechurch and then what it does is
(16:53):
bring that spirit down.
So we, we work together.
We, we working together.
Like you said, you got 41 years.
I remember that house.
If you're not putting in thehouse when you, when the door
fall off, you ain't gonna fix it.
Or when the wonders broke, gameon, fix it.
Oh, you know when things arehappening, the roof, meet dog,
you ain't gonna fix it.
You don't invest in yourmarriage.
(17:14):
You only gonna get out what youput in.
You don't believe me.
I tell you what.
Don't put nobody in the ATMmachine in the bank and go up
there Tomorrow, get me athousand dollars.
You ain't put nothing in.
That ain't nothing coming out.
You know what I mean.
When we, when we got marriedwith young, we did everything
wrong.
I'm gonna tell y'all right nowwe did everything wrong.
(17:38):
We didn't get no counseling, wejust jumped up and got married
and we paid for a lot of stuffthat we dealt would be part of
what I had to deal with.
That's why we don't mind aboutsharing.
I'm we transparent.
We did some stuff, I did somestuff.
Hey, man, she did some stuff,we did something in our marriage
, but God kept us togetherbecause we were saved and in the
(18:01):
mid my mama's there to me.
She says to save people oughtto be able to get along, and I
know forgot that.
So another word if you know, ifI'm right, you right now, god
is the one that's gonna be rightat the end of the day, because
pride will give you a falsesense of yourself and you thank
you all in the bag of chips andGod got away.
I bring you back to yourselfand let you see yourself.
(18:24):
But we're in this together.
We are all in your luck.
Then I Think I'll share with onpast the area about, about the
clay, and that was that thatreally helped us.
Help me out, he helped my wifeout when we was in a marriage
class ourselves and they gave ussome clay, they gave us a white
clay and they gave us someblack clay and we had to mix it
(18:49):
together until we only saw onecome.
You know, and he'll come by andlook at it.
He said, no, I still see toomuch white, you ain't mixing the
good.
So when two lives come together, her life disappeared, my life
disappeared.
We become as one, but we stillgot our own personality.
We have to work on that, amen.
(19:11):
You come from two differentbackgrounds.
You come in from two differenthomes where you was raised, but
you love each other enough tosay you know what.
I am willing to compromise so Ican be with the one I love and
you want to give up some thingsin marriage.
She was to give us some thingsin marriage, but you give it up
for it For both of you.
(19:32):
Amen, to be happy.
Amen, watch this.
I'm gonna share this with y'all.
You know, sometimes my wife wasyoung and another couple
started having problems.
She would come to me and starttalking about their problem and
then she would take the womanside and I'll take the man side,
(19:53):
and then we end up arguingabout other folks' problems and
all of a sudden, god justdropped us.
But when we arguing- about.
We married each other, but wedon't got into it about another
person's problem and we don'teven know the whole situation.
We don't know the wholesituation.
That's why I don't like to.
I don't counsel people unlessboth of them are there, because
you gonna give me your side andthen you gonna make your side
(20:16):
bigger than your room.
So listen, let's work together.
You know what I mean, butremember the lines of
communication.
That's very important.
I got to hit this because in itand our pastor, pastor Eric,
been in the armed forces.
He understand this and don't goin the armed forces.
When the enemy want to take youout, the first thing he does is
(20:38):
take out the lines ofcommunication.
Back in my day, back in my cab,on watching days, you know what
I mean.
They cut out the telegram wireso you can't communicate, amen.
When they were back and movingup World War I, they cut down
the telegram poles and theydon't want you to communicate
with your commander, so they'llstop the lines of communication.
(20:59):
And once that's cut off, youknow what I mean.
You can't get no instructions,you can't get no advice, you
can't get no counsel.
Always keep the lines ofcommunication open and let me
help somebody else.
Do not try to discuss stuffwhile you're angry.
I love somebody.
If you table it, well, makesure you're talking about it.
(21:19):
Don't table it and push it backand make that that pound big
that you already got that stuffout in 1992.
You know, get rid of that stuff.
You say we ain't gonna talkabout it tonight, later, but
make sure you're talking aboutit.
Don't push it until by all of asudden now you're gonna make
love.
You know I'm not wearing itback.
No, no, no, we need to talkabout that.
We're gonna come up again.
(21:39):
Amen, all right.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Amen.
Entitlement is one thing thatwe wanted to discuss, and we
live in a generation now whereeverybody think they're entitled
.
I shouldn't be treated likethis.
I shouldn't be talked to likethis.
Our entitlement is somethingthat you should push aside.
Replace it with gratitude.
Just be thankful.
Whenever we're going throughchanges, I always tell myself
(22:04):
Lord, I saw, thank you, god, Ithank you for the roof over my
head.
I thank you for my husbandcoming home every night.
I thank you that we have foodon our table, and I just started
to give gratitude to the Lordfor the things that I have and
that the things that I think I'mmissing is just not that
important anymore.
Speaker 4 (22:22):
And that comes to as you get older and you'll walk
with God and you'll walk withyour wife.
You start valuing things.
When you're younger, you knowyou put all the values on
certain things and those thingsthat is not as important.
You ever notice about olderpeople your grandmother, your
great grandmother, the greatestvalues in this family staying
(22:47):
together.
And you ever notice when youyoung in your marriage and you
just about to blow your top andyou start talking to older
person, they'll look at you andsmile and they'll laugh because
they don't bend through it.
It's just a tip over everythingand sometimes all you can say
never throw the baby out withthe bath one.
(23:07):
In other words.
You know, sometimes people messup their life, but love will
keep you, amen, from making abad mistake.
If you listen to God, it'llkeep you from making a wrong
mistake.
And then a lot of times youknow you don't went through the
hard part.
You know you don't went throughthe hard part.
It don't make no sense for meto try to trade this must-thing
(23:29):
in.
You know what I mean.
I don't know how to drive a newcar.
They got too much technology,too much stuff.
You know, amen, they say.
You know, dance with the girlyou came with.
You know what I mean.
I met my wife in eighth grade.
In eighth grade, I met ineighth grade and I'm telling you
, we were friends.
Our life went apart but we cameback together and 81 and God
(23:53):
have kept us together since.
Now I've been knowing over 50years.
I thank God for that.
You know what I mean Because wewere friends first.
But even in midst of that I knewshe was going to be a good wife
.
I knew that I wasn't quiteready, but I knew she was going
to be a.
She wasn't ready either.
She thought she was, but shewas.
You know what I mean.
She looked at Paul, but she,she had some stuff too that she
(24:14):
had to deal with.
Amen.
But God kept us and I'm goingto tell you when we got saved
amen.
That puts on the rightdirection, on the right point.
I love my wife.
I thank God for her.
Amen.
That's not what I'm going to dofor her.
I'm going to be there for her.
You know what I mean Amen.
I'm going to tell you about thechurch.
I'm going to tell you about mychildren.
(24:35):
I'm going to tell you about mywife.
Amen.
Somebody.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
That's funny and we do that with each other.
I remember when my husbandfirst guy saved and when Lord
saved him, the Lord saved him.
I would save a couple of monthsbefore him, but we were in a
parking lot one day.
And you see, you never know, youdon't ever say what you want.
But my husband was really saved.
(25:02):
I mean, he was really trying tochange his life and the Lord
was really dealing with him.
And so we pulled up into theparking space and I guess the
guy thought it was his parkingspace.
And he jumped out and he'syelling and screaming at my
husband, my husband's sitting inthe car.
He's not saying a word.
Next thing, you know, I don'tknow what happened I opened the
(25:23):
door, I get out the door and I'myelling and screaming at the
man.
I remember I got saved firstand my husband had to remind me
to say honey, you saved,remember.
But we do those things together.
But I tell you, like my husbandsaid, we've been married 41
years.
(25:43):
We're not the same.
We got 23.
Life has changed over thoseyears.
So you have to learn to dealwith changes.
Even the things that we likechange as we matured.
Those things we like when wewas 23 years old, we just don't
do anymore now that we're 64years old.
So life changed.
(26:04):
So you have to be able toadjust with the change, with the
change in your spouse.
I buy him certain food, butI've learned that those foods
change because of his diet maybe.
We used to go to the park a lot,we used to do a lot of outdoor
things.
We don't do that much outdoorthings anymore.
So life just changed and adjust.
(26:26):
Just don't get stuck in onething and say, oh babe, but you
used to, okay, but now you don'tfeel that same weight, so
adjust to it.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
And that's the key.
That's different.
You find out what makes yourspouse happy.
All right, follow what makesyour spouse happy.
I remember.
But get back to that incidentabout the man.
I hadn't never seen my wife getupset.
I really haven't.
You know, we had no, not likethat man that's so dumb, that's
(26:58):
so ready to fight, that's soready to fight.
I mean, she ready to fight?
That man, look at her likewhat's wrong with you?
And I'm trying to rub up downand how about?
Shout out but hey, man, sheready to go.
But I appreciate it.
But at the same time, you knowwe'll say now, as we look at our
(27:19):
life, you know you're going tohave let me say this to you, I'm
seriously every marriage willhave some challenges and some
points in your life and I callthose points and challenges
growth spurs, how you handle it.
Either you're going to grow oryou're going to shrink back.
And one of the biggest issues Ithink it's pride.
(27:43):
Man, you got to handle thatpride.
Brothers I'm talking to thebrothers you ain't going to be
right all the time.
No, you ain't gonna be right ToAbraham.
Listen to your wife, even thoughwhat Sarah was crying about was
dead wrong, god, listen to yourwife, and I promise you
(28:03):
brothers, if you learn how tosay yes, dear, you can sleep
better at night.
The food takes better.
I'm telling you man, hey man,you gonna lose your health.
Just say yes, dear, you knowwhat I mean.
You gonna be alright.
Just say yes, dear, hey man,because one thing about it takes
two to all, if you wish.
Eventually they gonna talk tothemselves for a minute and
(28:28):
eventually they gonna go inthere and find something else to
do.
And you know what you do.
You get up and you come in andyou kiss them Love.
No harm, baby, you know I loveyou, my dad shared this with me.
My dad said to me, man, you know, they were married about 70
years, not close to 70 years,they're still alive.
My dad said I think me and mywife had a really serious
(28:53):
argument, and he was talking tome.
He said son.
He said, man, you think me andyour wife are gonna have no
problem.
I said well, you know.
He said I'm gonna tell you whatI do.
Dad reached in his wallet pastthe air, pulled out a picture
with mom about 19 years old.
He said every time they get aserious argument.
(29:15):
He put out that picture.
Remember why he married thatgirl.
You didn't say girl, he saidthat girl.
He said everything.
Just leave him.
Then all the anger, all thatstuff, just leave him.
I got one of my wife Boy askthat picture.
She said I'm gonna lay across.
Tell her somebody.
Hey them, jerry curls everynight.
Then you know he's gonna havethem out, gonna look at that
(29:35):
picture.
Remember why I married herAlways.
Remember why you married yourwife.
All that sweet stuff, no sweetletters that you wrote.
Remember that stuff Because I'mtelling you the thief come not
but to steal, kill and destroyand brothers, when you know you
got a good wife or sister, whenyou do, you got a good husband.
Oh, let me say this I gotta saysomething.
(29:57):
Give me a minute.
I want you to stop hangingaround for a man who always got
issues with a man trying to putthat stuff on you or what they
want.
Don't hang around.
If you can't help them, I ain'tgonna use them.
I can't do it Cause my husbandain't like that.
All men like that and all thedevil is a lie.
All the devil is a lie and I'mtelling you you got to watch
(30:19):
that spirit.
Because they are miserable,they want you to be miserable,
amen.
Now, a lot of times, you know,we run into couples and they
have issues and you ain't gonnabe able to help everybody,
because some people don't wantto be helped, but you can help
somebody by the life you live,how you treat your wife.
(30:39):
Watch this every marriage isdifferent.
Some marriages, you know, thewife do this for the husband or
the husband do this for the wifeand she like that.
Don't try to push that intoanother marriage.
Cause they happy what theydoing.
Girl, you mean to tell me myman do this or my man do that
for me?
That's your household.
(31:00):
You got to rule them trustful.
I'm happy over here.
You know what I mean.
So you be happy over there,I'll be happy over here, and
then we'll be in a happy place.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
But don't try to bring that into my marriage Mess
up my marriage.
Speaker 4 (31:14):
I remember, you know, my wife, you know she'll fix my
food.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
And she'll bring it to me.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
You know what I mean.
I know somebody I ain't gotthat that's your marriage, you
know.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
And then one of them, one of them something came up.
He ought to get up and leavethat alone.
You mess with something else alittle bit.
Leave it alone.
It will work for us.
My wife's gonna problem withthat Because she know I'll fix
her as well.
You know.
She know I cook, I go in thekitchen, I do a little something
.
I'm gonna tell y'all anotherthing in 41 years I remember me
(31:43):
and my wife got married when shewas mad at me and she didn't
know I can cook.
We had just got married and shewas mad, but she wouldn't say
nothing.
I wouldn't have started cooking.
But that food was smelling goodand she had started trying to
be mad.
I knew she was hungry, so I hadto excuse myself.
I said I'm not full of food,I'm trying to eat, like that.
(32:05):
But she could be mad.
But we just bust out of thestore and laugh.
But these are the things thatyou're gonna encounter over
years of marriage.
Amen, Amen, Amen.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
That man cooked at four o'clock in the morning,
okay, so, and the one otherthing that he does, that we do
together, is that when we comein the room, when one person
walk in the room together, wewalk over and we kiss each other
.
It's just a habit now.
Today we went to Starbucks, Gotready to leave Starbucks, we
kissed each other.
(32:37):
I know, yeah, but we don't whenwe leave out the room.
We don't leave out the roomwithout kissing each other.
We might at the house.
You know you're in and out theroom all the time, but he'll
call me back, hey, hey, hey, youforgot something.
So it's just a habit that wehave now of what are we years.
(32:58):
A lot of people like tochecklists.
Okay, so what's a greatmarriage?
So here's a few things that wehave on the checklists.
Both of you must be patient andkind and thoughtful one to the
other.
You have to think about doingnice things.
Sometimes we have to.
It should come automatically,but sometimes it doesn't.
(33:19):
So put a little thought into it.
My husband travels, sometimesfor revivals or different things
, and I used to have to pack allof his clothes.
I still pack them.
He picks them now but I used toput like a little note or
something in his clothes so thatwhen he gets aware of it he can
know that I'm praying for him.
I'm thinking about it.
My Austin, a Texer, he'll callme.
(33:41):
You know, one of the deaconsusing many jokes about it,
because I said man, you justleft out the parking lot.
What you calling that woman,but is those little thoughtful
things?
over the course of your day thatyou do.
Bill each other up, don't teareach other down.
We all have weaknesses and badpoints, and you could spend a
(34:03):
lifetime talking about aperson's weakness, but instead
why don't you?
Talk about the great thingsthat you do, what you love about
that person, what makes youhappy, and think about it
through the course of the day.
Don't always think about thosethings that irritate you, to
make you mad or upset.
Listen when the other person istalking, listen actively and
(34:25):
don't listen to respond, butlisten to what they're saying.
Try to hear their heart, whythey're saying this, what's
going on with them.
You know, my husband taught myboys that here, what they're not
saying as well as what they'resaying.
Sometimes we're trying to buildup to what's really in our
hearts.
So we see a lot of stuff and ifyou jump on the first thing you
(34:47):
say, you might miss out on whatwe're actually trying to say.
So listen intently and thenspeak with transparency.
You know, don't always try to.
You know well, when we talk tothe Lord we do little.
These and that Get to the point.
You know, we don't have to addso much into it.
But be honest and open.
If you can't be honest and openwith your spouse, who can you
(35:09):
be honest and open with?
Like he said, we're friendsfirst.
You know to hang out togetherand make jokes and I would
pretend like I was one of thefellows and lean over in the car
with him and hey, man, look atthat woman over there.
You know that kind of we werejoking guys, okay, but we were
just hanging out with each otherand I said this earlier and I
(35:30):
can't say it enough Be quick toforgive.
Don't hold on, don't stopspeaking for days and days,
cause you still mad thisThursday and you still mad about
what happened on Sunday.
You know, don't hold on,forgive fast, it'll help you,
you know, and then see the goodin one another.
You know that goes back to whatwe said earlier, but you know,
(35:51):
see the good in it.
You know, don't always see thebad, don't always have to pick
up what went wrong.
You know, and that's whateverything in your life there
always be a hold on what wentwrong in your job, what's going
wrong in your neighborhood andthey were trying somebody to see
you.
All you got is negative thingsto say.
You know, try to have apositive and then we're a team.
(36:12):
So act as a team.
You know you work together as ateam.
We watch basketball, football,those different sports, you know
.
But if everybody.
Get out there and do what theywant to do and try to shine and
come together.
You're going to lose, I cantell you right now, if you're
not working as a team.
If you want to pass the ball inbasketball, you got to take all
of the shots.
Well, the team the other teamgoing to figure that out and it
(36:34):
just going to guard you.
So then you're going to besurrounded.
Everybody else is going to besitting out there not doing
anything.
So we're together as a team,talk to each other and work out
difficulties and problems in thefamily as a team.
Don't keep things from eachother, you know.
Talk it out and then, of course, most of all, love one another.
Well, and I wasn't going totalk about that a little bit.
Speaker 4 (36:58):
Yeah, Thank you, honey.
So you have to respect everyperson's boundaries.
There are some things that mywife got a line drawn that you
don't cross those lines.
You have to understand whatthose lines are.
Remember I say people changeevery 10 years, Every 10 years.
(37:22):
So you got to make thatadjustment to change.
Okay, as you get older, youchange it.
You have children, you changeit.
You know what I mean.
But love will make theadjustment to that change.
Remember, you got physicalstuff going on as you get older.
You got to make adjustments toaccommodate that, whether it be
(37:43):
the man, whether it be the woman.
Remember you love that personand you are the ride and live
and say ride and die, ride andlive with that person Because
that's your closest thing to you.
The Bible says this you knowDavid and Jonathan were so close
.
You know Jonathan knew that hewas going to be David's going to
(38:04):
be the next king, and so whenthey met, they just revealed all
the issues to each other.
They stripped each other,looked at each other.
This is my room.
This is what I really think.
That's what marriage is allabout.
You got to hide in front ofyour spouse.
You know what I mean.
Be transparent with your spouse.
You got a problem talking out.
Don't argue that.
Talk it out.
(38:25):
Honey, we got a problem.
Sometimes things be a littleuncomfortable to talk about, but
you got to talk, you got totalk.
If you don't talk it out, allit's going to do is that mole
here is going to become amountain.
It started out small, where youcan step over it and deal with
it.
It becomes bigger and you starttripping over it.
You keep on until somebody hurtthemselves and you look back.
(38:47):
You know that started fiveyears ago.
When you see something going on, stop what you're doing.
Okay, we need to talk aboutthis before we get to a point
where you can't talk about it oryou don't want to talk about it
.
So always keep the dialogueopen.
I'm going to say it again that'svery important.
Keep the dialogue andcommunication open.
We about done, we about righttime.
(39:07):
Keep the dialogue.
I'm going to talk aboutsomething I've been waiting on.
That's sex.
Everybody say whoa.
I know, I know.
Let me say this about sex.
Sex is not bad.
Intimacy is not bad.
Seder took what God made goodand made it bad and tried to
(39:28):
make it nasty.
What you mean bitch.
But what happens is when Godmade Adam and Eve the Bible,
they both were naked, All right.
Adam saw Eve who she was, hesaw Adam who she was.
But what Satan does?
Satan don't want there to besex, to be an instinctive
married Satan.
You can do it when you getready and that becomes so custom
(39:51):
of people now that a lot oftimes I'm going to say this
nobody will get offended A lotof times they may.
God would like all of us to beall virgins, but because of
society, sometimes we don't.
Now, when you talk about sex,can I say this Sex is 10% of
your marriage.
10% Like no, nothing, nothing.
(40:12):
What you going to talk aboutafter you get out of bed, what
you got to say, man, that'staking for good, but maybe you
don't let.
You can't say that for so longyou got to have something to
talk about outside the bed.
You know what I mean, becauseonce you get physical, once you
get finished, you look at eachother, you stare at each other.
(40:33):
What you ain't got nothing tocome, or you ain't got nothing
to talk about.
You can't laugh.
Look, don't be calm, thinkabout it.
And we put so much emphasis onit.
There are rules of a lot ofmarriages.
It's important, it's necessary,for the Bible says this to the
wife and to the husband yourbody don't belong to you, it
belongs to the other person.
(40:53):
Now, men and women don't usesex as a weapon.
In other words, you know to getwhat you want.
You know what I mean.
If you don't buy what I want,it ain't going to give them that
.
No, you're in the wrong.
That's wrong.
Come on, come on with me, don'tget off now.
Stay with me.
You're in the wrong.
Sex was made for mutualenjoyment between both parties,
(41:19):
not different one person to getoff, no, no, it don't work like
that.
It's both parties comingtogether.
You like anything else in yourmarriage?
That's got to be comingtogether, okay, and it's got to
be in job, all right.
And when you look at it fromGod's perspective, it was good,
like.
I said, the enemy came in tryingto make it nasty, trying to
(41:41):
make it out of bounds, andthat's when we got a lot of
problems now with people, youngfolks, who don't want to get
married and want to keep doingthat and think it's right, but
not according to the word, butwhen they want to get married,
they want to get married underthe banner of God and that's it.
They want God to bless themarriage, but they don't want to
live according to theprinciples in the midst of that
(42:03):
blessing.
All right, and think about it.
When you look at your wife andyou marry your wife, you marry
for the whole package.
Okay, if there are some issuesin that area in the bedroom,
talk about it.
Don't wait until them to try tofake it, until you make it.
Now, talk about it becauseeventually, on a surface, you
(42:24):
got to be willing to talk aboutit, the honest about it, be open
about it.
As a matter of fact, a lot ofthat stuff you'll be talking
about before you get married.
So you're not going in.
A woman can't have children.
You didn't let the man know Aman can't have it, the woman
know.
So that way you won't beblindsided inside the marriage.
You should have told me Behonest, Because you're planning
on spending the rest of yourlife with that person.
(42:45):
You understand, amen?
That's all I'm going to sayabout that, because I don't want
to get too deep into it,because but I just want y'all to
get the genesis of what wetalked about.
We've been married 41 years.
We've had some highs, we've hadsome lows, we have some
challenges.
The one thing I appreciateabout this lady right here,
she's a rock, amen.
(43:06):
She love God and she love me.
Hello, and I love her, and alot of times we'll just roll
over and, hey how you doing Allright, and sometimes you know
she like to watch Perry Masonand all these type of I like
Kepler movies.
Every now and then I give themwatch Perry Mason movies.
Speaker 2 (43:25):
I'll be asking a question.
Speaker 4 (43:26):
She know all the characters.
Sometimes she'll come in andwatch a little Kepler with me.
You know what I mean.
She be there.
She know we're going to see yoube there, you know.
And every now and then she likelittle Christmas movies, the
one that makes you cry.
You know what I mean and shewatch me around.
I'm going to hear now that yougot to be really satisfied.
And one thing I like aboutPat's In air and y'all know I'm
(43:49):
finna tell on y'all they gotwhat they call date night.
Much respect, much little bigguy for me and mama.
You will not get them to talkon date now.
I call you on date night.
Pat's gonna give me threeminutes.
You got three minutes.
Daddy bitch Gotta hang up andhe would get up there for a boy
(44:10):
and pass the call.
He gonna get off there for hecan be talking to president by.
He get off there for me, passon the floor.
I got to go and I respect that.
I laugh, I tease about it.
But, brother, you keep on doingwhat you do and pass.
We keep on loving every.
Thank y'all for the invite.
We get ready to get off andlove you.
Appreciate you so much Amen.
Speaker 1 (44:31):
All right, that was awesome talk, awesome, awesome
Bishop.
We thank you, thank you.
Thank you, thank you so much.
We we are no pass.
It took down some notes.
We've been monitoring the chatand I mean it's been going back
(44:52):
and forth.
I was wondering was somebody onTJ?
They're riding live, so I guessthat's a.
That's a good.
That's a good thing.
When you talk about riding live, yeah, you know.
You know I always hear rightand die, but I don't.
I haven't too much hurt ridinglive, so I'm thank God for that.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
Oh, Wow, let me see who I okay.
So Lindsay said it's the smallthings, and I totally agree with
that.
The small things matter so much.
Mm-hmm you know, it's thethings that you Don't even
really think about.
It's that that little thing tobe like oh, he was thinking
about me, oh, she was thinkingabout me.
(45:31):
So I like that.
Lindsay, thanks for that,because it's definitely the
small things that make the bigthings so much better.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
I would say, bishop, that we had the people Coming in
and said I asked the question.
You know, was it talk good?
And everybody, you know peoplesaying so good, absolutely.
So we really thank you.
And, lady Cheryl, you know wegot to get y'all a little clap
(46:01):
Alright.
So we have the phone number outthere.
If somebody wants to call inand ask some questions, I mean
they can go on, they can ask thequestions Through chat as well.
We I do have a couple of prayerrequests and but if you want to
call in and you want to askBishop and Lady Cheryl some
Questions we got a little bitmore time you can dial into
(46:25):
seven five four, two, two, two,two, one nine.
That's seven five four, two,two, two, two, one nine, and you
can ask them some questions.
You're not asking us noquestions tonight, right, babe?
No, no.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
I have a question.
Speaker 1 (46:42):
Okay, no, you don't need to call in.
Speaker 3 (46:50):
My question is about sex, one of my favorite.
You know, the Bible says thatthe bed is undefiled, right?
So when it talks about it beingundefiled and you kind of like,
because my thing ever ain't onit.
Yeah, collaborate on that.
Just a little bit for me, oh.
Speaker 4 (47:09):
Oh, okay, what for y'all.
Speaker 3 (47:12):
You can answer my elaborate.
Speaker 4 (47:16):
Go in the bedroom and close it, though it ain't
nobody watch you with girl.
Oh, all right, amen, amen.
Speaker 1 (47:26):
Now.
Does that answer your question?
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Yes, Like you know, if you can add things like yeah,
he's asking questions, did hejust say?
Speaker 1 (47:37):
he said if you go?
He said if you go in, you closethe door.
Right there you go.
Right, don't be, want to bewhipped?
No, no, no, whipping, no, son,you know, patsy don't like to
(48:08):
get this, she wouldn't like toget the software, she want to
get those Hard wheels, like catwoman, you know oh.
Speaker 4 (48:17):
I also Seriously, though, patsy.
You know people, people try tomake that Big than what it is,
but what you do between yourhusband and God, god is.
You know.
God is the only one that's gotto be able to judge your and we.
If he's comfortable with it andyou're comfortable with it, you
(48:38):
know what I mean.
God's well, please.
You know what I mean Becauseyou got different watch this.
You got different cultures thatdo different things and
different customs.
Always keep that in mind.
But what you want to do, youwant to honor God inside the
vehicle as well outside thevehicle.
Okay.
Speaker 3 (49:00):
Okay.
So one more thing I like whatyou said was, like you know,
keep things in the present.
Even though you may bedisagreeing or you, you having
your moment to just keep thingsin the present.
It's so important because whenyou bring up stuff from the past
, it actually shows that youreally haven't forgiven For it
and because it's still there.
(49:20):
So I really like that.
And keeping a line ofcommunication open Was another
great mom.
These nuggets you guys droppedwas so awesome.
I was writing them down and I'mactually put them up on my
little board so when I'm havingan issue I can go to my.
You know my topics and they'reokay.
All right, I can do this Idon't have to be too mad at yeah
(49:44):
.
Speaker 1 (49:45):
Like I said you know, for all of those, please you
like and share.
Please make sure you like, likethis video, like this, you know
, and make sure you share it.
There is somebody that neededto hear this talk tonight.
You know I it was.
It was good for us and many ofyou said it was so good for you
all, and so you can always goback and Look at it and once we
(50:07):
put it on the Apple podcast, youcan listen to it as well.
But we want you to make sureyou like and share and because,
again, somebody needs you youmay know somebody whose marriage
needs to have this Talk and andfrom Bishop and Lady Cheryl, we
really need to have this talk,so we want you to go and like
(50:29):
and share.
Make sure you share with yourfamily and with your friends and
your co-workers.
You know a lot of.
You know this is spreading thegospel, right?
Am I right about that, bishop?
Yeah, this is spreading thegospel because, as Bishop said,
the enemy wants to destroy themarriage.
He wants to destroy what Godhas made, anything that God has
(50:51):
made.
He wants to destroy it, and sothis is part of the gospel of
Jesus Christ.
You know where, where we need,we need God.
We have to have to be thecenter of that.
So if you want to call in again, we only have about a couple of
more minutes 754 222 2219, youcan call in and ask your
(51:14):
question.
Don't be shame, right?
You know, you know, I know Fergand easy and Samson is on here.
You know, I know they they notshamed they.
You know they love to call in,yeah, so but yeah, we would want
you to call in.
You got any any other thing youwant to say?
Bishop and Lady Cheryl, how didyou enjoy the talk tonight?
Doing the talk I enjoyed?
Speaker 4 (51:33):
it with a blessing.
Speaker 1 (51:35):
I always thank.
Speaker 4 (51:36):
God for first cause.
She always gonna have somegreat insight and I appreciate
it.
I want to say this to all themarried couples and how Satan
works If he can divide thefamily, he can pick off the
children one by one.
Wow, he can have the children.
He can destroy their seed aswell.
You always want to divide thefamily.
(51:57):
Destroy the family, so you dothat Family.
Destroy the family, so you doall you can to hold your
marriage together.
Stop listening to the worldview and listen to God's deal
marriage, because the world saylove them and leave them any.
What God said, you work it out.
Yes, you work it out.
You do the best you can to workit out.
(52:18):
You know what I mean.
All of us got issues, but youwork it out.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
You know what I mean that woman that met you that the
will have so many of them.
Speaker 4 (52:27):
But she was able to deal with those issues when she
ran into the Messiah Right.
So you work it out.
They may sometimes, you know,it may take a while, but you can
work it out.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
All right baby.
Speaker 1 (52:41):
Gotta give you something to bitch.
You gotta give you something to.
You know we were talking manbeing bishop me.
Yesterday he was preaching tome.
As you know, every time I callbishop, I know I got a sermon,
you know, and this is a writer,we know I, he got a sermon for
me.
Yeah, we always got a sermon.
We were talking about evengetting ready for the night and
we were.
We were talking about how, howPeople some people, especially,
(53:03):
I would say, the youngergeneration or whatever they look
at marriage more as a contractversus a covenant.
And so with a contract, you canamend a contract.
You, you know, at the end ofthe contract it tells you how,
when you have a dispute, whatyou need to do, and they say,
look, we either go to a mediatoror we can just go straight to
court, and so that's whathappens.
(53:25):
You know, they can tear it up,they can amend it.
Try to amend it.
Or I don't like what you'redoing, I don't like what this.
So let me know what.
This contract is null in void,but you can't do that with a
covenant.
You can do that with a contract, but you can't do it with a
covenant.
And so that's why they gostraight to the judge.
Now we want to get divorcedbecause they treated as a
contract versus a covenant, likebitches say, hey, you're gonna
(53:46):
work it out.
You know, unless it's a, youknow it has to be some abuse.
You know, get all of these kindof things, that's.
That's really that.
I think it really messes,messes up marriage.
But if it's communication orirreconcilable difference, why
we can't reconcile, we should beable to reconcile you know, you
know Bishop said hey, it's notan option.
Speaker 3 (54:06):
It is not an option.
If you go into, it stand.
If it don't work, the option isI'm getting a divorce.
If you, you got to take thatoption off.
Speaker 1 (54:13):
The table off the table from the job.
Speaker 3 (54:16):
You gotta get that to y'all, you gotta be able to
figure quickly.
I'm telling y'all I wrote somestuff down, I'm excited about
using this when I talk to people.
Speaker 1 (54:25):
Yeah, yeah, including for myself.
That's it.
It's not an option, so we'regonna take that off the table
before we get married, but Ilove that, all right you know,
I'm gonna say this too and I'mdone, uh, kind of funny.
Speaker 4 (54:38):
But man the wife was having, they couldn't get along.
So the wife said you know what,I'm out of here.
And she went and packed hersuitcase.
She took a little longer thanman.
We're going to die upstairswith this suitcase.
She said where you going.
He said where you let your heador lay in mind.
Uh-huh, it's gonna be.
My god and your whole team aregonna be both here.
(55:00):
We're gonna be doing ittogether.
Speaker 3 (55:03):
I'm right, yeah, I like that.
Speaker 1 (55:04):
Yeah, yeah, I like that even to, even tonight,
bishop and and Lady Cheryl, um,you know, uh, for a good friend
of ours from North Carolina,ferg, is on the line.
He's.
He's a widower, but he said,hey, it's good.
You know, you, you was good fora single folks as well.
At tonight, um, Samson said,you know, stop listening to the
worldview and start listening toGod's view.
(55:27):
That was a fire that he putnext to that.
So that was some good nuggets,as Patsy was saying, very good
like it.
So we again, we thank you allyou know, for taking time out of
your business schedule to To dothis for us, because you didn't
have to do it.
Speaker 3 (55:44):
Right.
Speaker 1 (55:45):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (55:46):
I wouldn't have heard the end of can you believe?
Bishop turned me down.
Speaker 4 (55:54):
No, I wouldn't do y'all like that.
You know, I love you, love youguys.
Yes, as fast, as you bought aself-tilted rip my month, so I
had no choice.
Speaker 1 (56:02):
Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man.
Well, again, uh, we want you tolike and share, we want you to
be able to listen to.
We're on the apple podcast.
Uh, we want to make sure wehave the prayer tonight.
We want to make sure we havethe prayer.
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