January 1, 2025 • 53 mins
Are you ready to transform your relationship and embrace a deeper connection with your partner? Join us, Eric and Boss Lady P, as we unlock the secrets of setting marriage goals that stand the test of time. With nearly 33 years of shared experiences, we highlight the significance of crafting a unified vision and the profound impact it can have on your marriage. Discover the power of intentional goal setting and how it can prevent conflicts, maintain balance, and support individual and collective aspirations. Together, let's explore how teamwork and shared values are the cornerstones of a successful partnership.
Ever wondered how to set personal and couple goals that truly resonate? We emphasize stepping away from the chaos of daily life to focus on planning with purpose. Practical advice on jotting down goals and key dates, keeping them visible, and starting with a prayer for wisdom are just some of the insights we share. Led by husbands, proactive planning can lead to a thriving marriage. We also delve into personal development, discussing strategies for mental health, overcoming procrastination, and preparing for a transformative year ahead. From healthy cooking to tackling stress, we cover it all, encouraging a proactive approach to well-being.
Our conversation doesn't stop there. We tackle the essence of effective leadership within relationships, championing the need for understanding and adaptability. With pre-marital and couple counseling, we bridge the gaps in expectations shaped by individual backgrounds. From organizing a simple walk to planning an anniversary event, shared goals foster unity. As we close, we express our gratitude to our dedicated listeners, inviting you to engage, share your thoughts, and suggest topics for our future episodes. Your support fuels our journey, and we look forward to fostering a community of loving, successful marriages together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Marriage and Real Life.
Welcome All right, we're so gladthat you could join us for
another podcast, right, right,give another shout out, all
right.
Well, we're so glad we see somepeople who are watching with us
(00:20):
.
We want you to like and share.
Please make you like.
Please make you like.
I can't get my words right.
Whoa man.
Please like and share ontonight.
As you see, you, make sure youhit the like button.
Tell us where you're watchingfrom.
Put your name down there.
Tell us where you're watchingfrom.
We can give you a shout out Forthose who are new with us.
My name is Eric.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
And I'm Boss Lady P.
All right, my name is Eric and.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
I'm Boss Lady P.
All right, all right, so we'rethe host of Marriage and Real
Life.
Hey, we've been married almost32 years.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Almost 33 years 33?
.
Oh jeez you don't like me verymuch.
Do you?
I don't think you do.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
You can't remember the wonderful years that I've
dedicated to you, and this love.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Jeez Eric.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Jeez, All right.
Well, yeah, 33 years man.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
April 27th, just in case you don't remember.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Yeah, I know, I remember that.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Remember the date, but you don't remember the year.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Yeah, sometimes I get lost.
I'm getting older now.
You're lost in my love.
Yes, lost in your love, baby.
Lost in your love Again.
We want to make sure you likeand share.
Tell us where you're watchingfrom.
Tonight is a very interestingtopic.
We're trying to get ready for2025.
Tonight we're talking aboutmarriage goals.
(01:45):
We're talking about marriagegoals and we should say why
should married couples set goals?
So we're saying that settinggoals together in a marriage can
help each other feel moreconnected.
All right, when you set thegoals, you feel more connected
because you're working towards ashared vision and improve the
(02:06):
health of your relationship.
Right, that's why you should,and so we got some reasons why
you should.
Just a little bit of things.
The first one is it creates asense of purpose.
It creates a sense of purposebecause goals can give a couple
a sense of direction and purposeand help them work toward a
shared vision.
(02:26):
So you got a shared vision andnow you got a road map that you
can go to it right, so that's acreative sense of purpose, all
right what is number two there?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
number two says it strengthens the connection oh
and I really like that, becausewhen you pull together and you
have a purpose, it means you canhold each other accountable for
them not doing their part,because it's going to be some
bumpy roads, things are going tohappen, life is going to life
and somebody might slip up andthey didn't meet that quota.
But it's not to criticize them,it's to help them get back on
(03:00):
track.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Right, right right.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Sometimes we can point fingers and say but you
didn't do your part and youdidn't do this, and the reason
why I, the reason why I did whatI did, is because you didn't do
what you were supposed to do.
But when you do it together,Right, you're a team.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah, you're a team.
I tell you that all the time.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
It's like being in a boxing ring, it's a tag team.
When I'm falling short, I gotto get in and say here, Eric,
you got to pull this weightbecause right now I can't fight
no more, I can't do it no more.
So I think that was strength injust being together and coming
up to that common denominatorthe two of us.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
All right, we got Michelle from Louisiana.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Michelle.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Hey, all right.
Oh, hey, michelle, I justrealized who she was.
All right, I pray.
All is well, my love, all right.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
And the next one is like you says, you went over
here, support each other, sosetting goals can help partners
support each other andacknowledge each other's
contributions.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Right.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
So that's what it does.
All right, go ahead, I'm goingto get the next one.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Oh, I'm next.
Where are we?
Okay, Planning goals.
It helps plan for the future,how you set steps as to, let's
say, for March we want to take amini vacay.
You plan that, you set thefoundation for it and how we're
going to get to this point.
So I think those goals also gointo a father.
(04:26):
It don't have to be threemonths, it could be a year or
two years, but when you sit downtogether and you set those
goals, you have a master plan,so to speak which you're trying
to reach, so I definitely agreewith that.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
All right.
Next one prevent conflict.
So goals can help couplestackle conflicts before they
arise.
So you're looking in the futureand you say this might be a
potential problem.
And so let's look at, whilewe're setting this goal, this
might be a potential problemlike I may lose my job or
whatever like this, and now wecan tackle this before it even
happens exactly and then whenyou plan together, when you
(05:02):
create that sense of purpose,those conflicts are minimal
right right because it's a bigplan.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
It's like we.
It's a bigger plan here versusus fighting over something small
right, right, right, right,okay.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
So we also do what.
We balance individual andcouple goals.
Right, all right, we gotlucille's got, like what is the
most important goal to set?
We're gonna be going, we'regonna be going through all these
goals.
Okay, right, we're going to gothrough there.
So what this couple couples,what you need to ensure that
goals are built on somethingthey value, right, right, if you
(05:38):
don't value it, you're notgoing to try to strive for it.
That's right going to try tostrive for it.
That's right, right.
So if you I mean if you valuegetting the house, if that's one
of your values, I mean you'regoing to put together and strive
for it.
So that's why couples againshould sit down and and come
come up with their goals,because if you do that again,
(05:59):
you're motivated to work towardsit.
Anything that now it is alsoimportant.
One of the things is importantin setting goals, and married
goals, is that make sure thatthe goals are realistic, yeah,
and attainable so that's why Ithink you should set small, make
small steps to lead to thebigger one but you know, because
(06:20):
it's I mean when I say I guess,when I look at attainable, it's
like you can't say now you'regoing to be really doing you,
are you a hundred thousand, bothof you a hundred thousand
dollars in debt, and you'resaying, hey, by the end of the
year we want to be out of debtand we're going to be saving
fifty thousand dollars.
Daddy, now, if somebody coulddo that, then they're good,
(06:42):
right.
But if you can say, look, likeyou said, we're $100,000 in debt
, but let's make sure that we'regoing to be $20,000 less in
debt, right, and save $5,000.
That's attainable.
It may stretch you a little bit, but it is to get to that
bigger goal.
(07:03):
Yeah, so you can have yourfive-year goal right your
five-year goal, your two-yeargoal and your one-year goal, and
part of that five-year goal isyour 2025 goal.
Like you said, it's small steps, all right, small steps, but
it's got a spectrum.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Five, seven years.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
You can buy that house, I'm telling you and we
know, with God, all things arepossible, right, and so, with
faith, even in faith, the thingsthat are attainable by our own
strength, we don't need God, wedon't need to have the faith in
it.
We got to have supernaturalfaith.
When we look at a vision and weset goals and we say, man, I
(07:39):
don't know how we're going to doit, but we're going to do it
because we have faith that wecan do it.
Right, all right, all right, soall right, hey Missy, hey Missy
, how you doing?
Hey, missy?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yes yes, yes, all right.
So when we're going through,let's go through the goal
setting, let's go through somethings that we do right, and I
just want to say that when I'mdoing the research, you can go
all online and get all of thesegold hot.
You know all of these people,and some of them are selling
their goal setting for 25.
(08:17):
You get a spreadsheet, you buythe spreadsheet for 25, or you
can do this and you could dothat.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
We need our own business.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yeah, we need our own business, but we're setting our
thing out for free.
Amen, all right.
So it's out there and peoplehave different ways of doing it,
but one thing we like to do isthat we like to get our big
yellow sheet of paper.
Oh, we should have bought that.
We should have bought ouryellow sheet of paper, right?
(08:44):
Yeah, and start writing on it,right.
And I think one of the bestthings to do I think what we're
getting ready to do is leavewhere you're comfortable, go to
a place, maybe at the end of theyear, one or two days you're
spending time together and it'saway from everybody, and it's
away from the hustle and bustle,where you can set your goals
(09:07):
for your marriage, right.
And I also think that, ashusbands, I have a mentor group.
As husbands, we should besetting the example.
We should be calling our wivesto just say look, let's set
these goals right.
If we're going to be leaders,we have to be leaders, and we
(09:27):
need to be leaders in thisaspect where we're saying, hey,
babe, we need to sit down, weneed to set some goals for 2025.
Because if you don't have anygoals set, your marriage will be
all over the place, right, andwe don't want our marriages to
be all over the place.
We want to have something.
Look, the bible says write thevision and make it plain.
Right, that's what the.
So when people see it they canrun with it.
(09:48):
Right.
And so when we write it down,we can look at it.
What do we do we?
I like, how you have it, thatyou got it right there at the
door.
So every time we leave out ourroom, there's our goals and our
vision for, for what every year?
for the year.
It's right there.
So we see it all the time.
Right, we know what's going onin our lives and what was
(10:11):
attainable and what's notattainable, all right.
So so the first thing that weshould do is pray.
Right, that's the first thingwe should do.
And the reason why I say prayis because the Bible says we got
to use wisdom in because wetalk about it got to be
attainable, we got to use wisdom.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Right.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Right, and so the Bible says any man likes wisdom,
let him ask and he will giveyou freely.
So I believe that's one of thethings that you should do is sit
down and let's pray and sayLord, give us wisdom.
Again, there's that leader Men,if you're watching, please sit
down with your wife, hold a handand say Lord, give us wisdom on
(10:51):
what we need to do for 2025.
And if you're setting for fiveyears the big things and what we
need to do, but we know for2025, lord, give us wisdom so we
can attain and we can be afruitful marriage, and so the
first thing we should do is pray, all right, so that's number
one.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Number one.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
All right Number two.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Number two, to write down important dates
anniversaries, birthdays If youhave children, when schools
start, when it ends, if you haveany medical things that you
might have to take up I need togo to the dentist you want to
make sure that most of the datesthat are important to both of
you, not just one of you right,we're doing this together.
(11:34):
Important to both of you thatyou put them down.
You write them down, so how Ido is I get that sheet of paper
and I put the whole 12 months onthere for the year.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
We go month by month.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
We go month by month.
What's going on?
In January, it's Aries'birthday.
February oh, it's Valentine'sDay.
We ain't trying to do nothing.
March what's coming up?
Oh, my mother's birthday.
All of my granddaughter'sbirthday is in March, high at
the end.
So we just sit down and wewrite down that stuff and then
we get oh yeah, don't forget ouranniversary.
So you want to do stuff likethat that you aware of, because,
(12:08):
as the in leave space, becauseas the year go, you might have
to add.
I have to add some stuff in.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Right, right, right, yep, yep, so even vacation.
Yep, definitely vacation you gotto choose, you should be taking
.
If you're taking a familyvacation, you put it down there.
Got to choose, you should betaking.
If you're taking a familyvacation, you put it down there.
This is a goal to take a familyvacation.
You ain't got to say where yet,but at least you put down the
dates.
All right.
And if you're taking anindividual vacation, you and
your spouse without the children, you're leaving the children
(12:37):
with grand, grandma and grandpa,whatever don't say that too
loud.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Don't say that, don't say that too loud.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
All right, we're going to keep that on the
dialogue, all right, all right.
So, yeah, so you do that.
You need to put those datesdown, go month by month to the
end of the year.
When is Christmas?
If you're working like we workfor the school board, how does
those days mess with this?
Put down your grandchildrenbirthday.
What about anniversaries, evenyour anniversary, especially.
Put down your grandchildren'sbirthday.
(13:04):
What about anniversaries, evenyour anniversary, especially.
Better put down youranniversary, guys, you better
remember that date.
Yeah, I'm telling you and it'stwo important days that you
better remember the anniversaryand your wife's birthday.
All right?
And the same with us, ladies,you don't forget anniversaries,
(13:24):
you remember that one year I gota cake for you.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I had it made like a print symbol.
I was like, yes, this is Ariesbirthday and I gave it to you on
the 8th and you were like mybirthday on the 9th.
And you mean, let us eat thecake until the next day, that's
right, and the kids are lookinglike okay, yeah, that's
important.
Whatever is next day, that'sright, that's right.
Kids look alike okay, yeah,that's important.
(13:47):
Whatever is important.
If you sit down together,you'll know what's important to
each other.
If you communicate, you'll knowwhat's important to each other.
Honesty- right not holdingthings back, because sometimes
you can't say a person is lyingif they just haven't told you
all right.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Marie say you got to put down there when you started
dating.
You have to remember that.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Oh, yeah, that's a new one.
Yeah, that's important too, theday that you fell in love.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Fell in love.
Lucille say she's a grandma.
She says take your kids withyou, right, right, I hear you,
lucille.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
She don't take hers.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
She said take your kids with you, All right.
So you got to make sure you putdown those dates.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah, those dates are very important.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
You got to make sure you put down those dates.
And then the next thing youhave to do, all right, so the
first thing you pray, the nextthing you write down your dates.
Right, all of your dates.
The next thing you got to do isstart picking your personal
goals.
Right, okay, you should come tothe table with personal goals.
What do you want for yourself?
(14:48):
And you said it before.
You said it.
The reason why you bringpersonal goals is because, if
you say your goals out loud, youwrite your goals down.
Now, I can know how to help you.
Right, I can do that becauseyou write them down.
So if it's spiritual, right, Ican help you.
(15:11):
I can hold you accountable whenyou and you can hold me
accountable for my personalgoals and we are, we are helping
each other because they arepersonal.
Maybe you have health, like yousaid, you know your health.
Maybe you want to lose weight.
Maybe you want to lose weight.
Maybe you want to gain weight,maybe whatever.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
However, I don't know many people that want to gain
weight.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
But you may have some people that want to gain weight
because they lost too muchweight.
They may want to say you knowwhat?
I want to gain a couple.
I want to put a little coupleof pounds on the hip.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Yeah, right.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I want to pull a couple of pounds or I want to be
muscular Right, so that's gain.
Put some definition Right, andso that means that if you got to
get a gym membership or not geta gym membership, is that, once
you write it down, we can say,okay, there's, those again are
attainable goals, right?
You can't go into it and say Iwant to lose 200 pounds.
(16:07):
That's a lot to lose, and beinghealthy and losing that is very
difficult, right?
So you want to do someattainable goals and also you
want to make sure not onlyyou're doing physical health but
mental health.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
That's really important, because sometimes we
put more on us than what we'lldo so much.
But then we'll say, oh well,the Lord won't put more on me
than I can bear.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
But that ain't biblical anyway.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
But you put it on yourself.
That's why I say small stepsuntil you can attain what it is
that you whatever goal it isyou're trying to reach, as far
as your health, and then yourmental health can chill out if
you're taking smaller steps.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Right, right.
So we should pick personalgoals, bring your personal goals
so before you come to themeeting, right, you got to come
to the meeting prepared, right,right.
So that's why we have ouryellow sheet, we have our
markers, we have our tablets, wehave our computers, we have our
tablets, we have our computers.
You bringing all of this to thetable, you and your husband
bringing all this to the table,right?
(17:07):
And you're saying, look, I gotsome personal goals and you
write down Eric, these are mypersonal goals, boom, boom.
Whatever your spiritual health,education, do you want to go
back to school or whatever youlike that, However you want to
do it?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah, like what it's going to take for me to go to
school.
How much it's going to cost?
Can I pay per class?
Can I get the books online?
You want to set those goals andI just wanted to say that.
As much as my heart was brokenwhen my lump of dump moved to
Tallahassee, but I wascomfortable with it because
every time I went to visit them,before they moved to the
(17:43):
apartment, nikki had a plan.
She had it on the wall, she hadit written down, she checked
this place, she checked thatplace, and that's how you
prepare, that's how you setgoals.
Her goal was to move toTallahassee and she achieved
that goal, but she set smallsteps first.
Right, right, right and it worksfor you, for you don't have to
just be married to to do this,but set some right division,
(18:06):
make it plain yeah, so that'swhat I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Like, these goals are for married couples, but you
can be single and do itabsolutely, because you need to
set some personal goals and notonly that once, when you get
yourself situated and you knowwhat you're gonna allow, to come
and join right union with you?
you don't want some messy personthat don't know what they doing
I was saying something but andthe thing too is that this is
(18:33):
very important, I think, to usand to a lot of people you want
to make sure in your personalgoals that you're not taking
baggage into a new year and ifyou take it in a new year, you
have your goals to get rid of itthat year absolutely and if you
need it, sometimes it helped tohear what you're thinking on
(18:56):
the inside.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
on the outside, like I used to journal, I used to
write down Eric is reallygetting on my nerves, something
like that.
I would get it out.
But then I know, like when Iwent to see a therapist I really
felt so much more released,like finally, somebody else
knows how I'm feeling right now.
Yeah, because you gotta get itout.
And they only really make yousolve your own problems.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah, they do, they do, but they help you.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
But they kind of guide you in it and it's OK.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
It's no way that you should be holding on to
something for years after years.
All it's going to do is it'sgoing to mess up your marriage
Right, or mess up a relationshipwith somebody Right.
You either got to get over itor get rid of it and find a way
to to come together.
Because why would I?
This is what I don't understandabout.
You got to forgive people right.
(19:44):
First you got to forgiveyourself and then you got to
forgive people.
This is all personal goals thatyou should be having that I
don't want to take extra weight.
When I'm talking about.
I'm not talking about weight asfar as real.
I'm talking about weight ofpeople into the new year, and if
I take it in a new year, I'mnot going into the new year.
And if I take it in a new year,I'm not going into the next
(20:06):
year, I'm not going to 2026 withit.
That's my goal is to get rid ofthis extra weight of people and
unforgiveness and bitterness.
I want to get it out of myheart.
It is no way that I'm going tolet some people control me Right
and they don't even know theygot the control right and they
don't even know they got thecontrol right, but they
(20:26):
controlling you just they can bemiles, they can be next door,
they can be whatever, and theyare controlling you and you
letting them and they don'trealize it and they don't even
realize the whole, that I usedto tell the girls all the time
don't give people the power tocontrol your day.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
No, you wrong me and I used to have a hard time with
forgiving people.
I used to be like you know whatI don't?
I don't do her, I don't do himanymore, whatever.
But what I realized is that Ican forgive them and still be
afar yes, but the forgivenesswas more for me.
Yes, so I can move forward withwhat.
(21:01):
I wanted in life With how I wantit to be, and sometimes we
don't realize the control thatwe give people.
People are going to be people.
He ain't going to change.
The only thing going to changethem is the Lord, jesus Christ,
and if they don't want to change, he ain't going to force them
to change.
He give us free will.
(21:24):
So the only thing we could dois we could step back and let it
go.
Yep, yeah, you can't.
I should say this all the time.
You can't build a uh, uh, letme see.
You can't build a great futureif you're dragging the past with
you, of course, you can't youcan't, because you're going to
constantly be in the back ofyour mind.
You're going to have badrelationships because you're
going to trust nobody becausethe last person that did you
wrong.
You're going to have badrelationships because you ain't
(21:45):
going to trust nobody becausethe last person that did you
wrong.
You're going to have familymembers that did you wrong and
you're going to have toeventually say you know what?
Speaker 1 (21:50):
I love you, sis, but I got to let you go, it's for me
yeah that mental health.
Right there, that's mentalhealth.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
No, that's mental health, so you have to deal with
it accordingly.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
You got to deal with it, deal with it accordingly.
You got to deal with it, so yougot to hold.
And so that's why, again, youbring your personal goals and
you're saying to your husband,you're saying to your wife that,
look, I don't want to go intonext year with this.
And so the thing is I would sayto you okay, patsy, how can I
help you to achieve yourpersonal goals?
(22:21):
Because that's what it's allabout.
How can I, what can I, as Eric,do to help you achieve your
personal goals?
And you may say you know whatPay for me for therapy?
Ok, all right, so that's myhelp of you, because that's what
it's about.
I'm bringing my personal goalsand I'm asking you I'm putting
(22:41):
these personal goals not that Ican attain it by myself, right,
I know I'm going to need God'shelp that's why we pray first,
right, but I need your help inorder to attain it.
I'm not going to bring stuffthat I could attain to myself,
that I could do myself.
I'm bringing that passage.
I need your help to hold meaccountable or do whatever to
(23:01):
help me attain this goal.
And if mental health is a goalthat's going to, that I think
that I need to deal with.
I need to deal with it.
All right, all right, all right, we got a few comments she's
talking about.
We have a planning meetingscheduled, all right.
And then Lucia said what if youmake 10 goals and one of those
(23:23):
goals you can't agree?
All right, we're going to getto how the goals making when it
comes to couples All right.
And Michelle said writing keepsher mind right.
Right, however, you need to doit.
You need to keep your mindright.
But if you know your mentalhealth is affecting your
relationship, right.
(23:44):
If you have a husband, have awife, and say you're writing and
say that's not happening, right.
You say you bring that goal,you say I'm going to be writing,
okay.
And say it's not happening,then the next step is therapy.
You just got to make sure thatyou are keeping your mind
healthy, you as an individual,right?
Yes, you got to make sure,because are keeping your mind
healthy you as an individual,right?
Yes, you got to make surebecause one of the problems, too
(24:06):
, that married couples have isthat I worry so much about what
you're supposed to be doing tillI forget about what I'm
supposed to be doing yeah, I'mworried about oh, you're
supposed to be doing this andyou're supposed to be doing this
, and you know I to be doingthis and you know I hear some
people especially like this hascome from women.
I'm just going to let you knowthis coming.
(24:27):
Oh, you're supposed to be theleader.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
You ain't leading Well one thing too about leaders
.
There's different leadershipstyles.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Right From being coming from the military, I have
different leaders and I had tolearn their leadership style,
because I couldn't expect thisleader to be like this leader
and boy did I have some dooziesright.
And so you have to understandyour.
If you're talking about ahusband, you're talking about a
man.
You got to understand hisleadership style Cause maybe,
like me, I'm soft spoken, right,I don't.
(24:57):
You know, I don't get allaround.
And you've learned to learn tosay, okay, I know Eric ain't
gonna get all mad, he gonna do,you know, do this.
But you learn, that's myleadership style and I know what
to give away and I know what to.
So you just have to do that,right.
So you gotta know what I'msupposed to be doing, and then
you do what you're supposed tobe doing, and then we all good,
(25:17):
right.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
You say so I think a lot of times women feel like a
man should lead.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
if he's a good leader , then she'll follow but what
I'm saying is that leadership isdifferent from different people
.
Well, I mean, but okay, it'sdifferent from different people.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Well I mean, but OK, it's different from different
people, but it's pretty much thesame job.
The job is the same you provide, you protect, you nurture your
family.
And if you can't do thosethings, I mean, what type of
leadership do you need?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
You need to take a class on protection and Well,
again, if you haven't had afather in your life.
You're saying protect, right,and what you may call protection
may be not protecting to me,right?
So I have to understand, I haveto learn what you mean by the
definition of protection.
I have to learn that that'swhat it comes in the marriage,
(26:20):
because protection for you maynot be protection for the other
person.
That's why I say I have tolearn you and you have to learn
me in this aspect.
Right?
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Because, again, but don't you think that in the
process of him learning that hecould lose his wife, Of course
he can.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
If the woman is not patient with the husband, she
has to be patient.
Yes, and the woman?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
is not patient with the husband.
She has to be patient.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Yes, and I have to be patient with you because I can
expect.
I can grow up and expect mywife to be cooking and cleaning
and doing all this stuff.
She did.
Right, I can expect that,because I can say that's what a
wife supposed to do.
I don't supposed to be cooking,I don't supposed to be ironing,
I don't supposed to be cooking,I don't supposed to be ironing,
I don't supposed to be doingthat.
But we understand in a sharedmarriage that I may have to cook
(27:06):
, I mean.
But that doesn't mean you aresaying that you are not a good
wife because you don't do it.
Now, to some people they willsay that you're not a good wife
and I'm not talking about you.
I'm just saying yes, you are no.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
I'm not, I, I'm not, I'm not talking.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
But so some people will say you're not a good wife
if you don't do these Right, ifyou don't cook, if you don't
clean, if you don't do this.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
And in essence, you are a good wife because you have
shared responsibilities.
You need to be patient, becausemaybe she wasn't raised by her
mom Again.
Maybe, she don't know how to dothat stuff.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
And that's right, I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
But in the process she could lose him because he
might be used to a clean housedinner on the table that's why
you have pre-marriage counseling, that's why you do parent-child
counseling.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
But you got to know that in the marriage it's going
to take patience to learn eachother and it's going to take you
say, look, this is a leader,this is how I lead.
Right, I may not be vocal.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
I mean in other words , counseling is good.
Couple counseling is, of course, premarital.
Counseling is good because alot of times, especially the way
we do it, how they have to dothe test, it really brings out a
lot.
It brings out a lot.
Yeah, it brings out theleadership skills and everything
especially if you're going tobe in a extended relationship,
because sometimes you can go for10 years and then you split and
(28:22):
go your separate ways.
But when you're committed, ifyou start out, let's go talk to
this person and see.
Just see where we at See if weeven have the same background of
what you believe in, what Ibelieve in, how we believe in
you, how you was raised, how Iwas raised, and I think that
makes a difference.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Yeah, of course it makes a difference.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
And in this day and society, what I see with these
kids is we in trouble?
Speaker 1 (28:45):
All right, good to go .
All right, we're moving rightalong, all right.
So the next one is what is thenext one is number four.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Pick couple goals.
You know something we want toachieve together yeah.
I mean, that's pretty muchself-explanatory If we want to
lose weight, let's get up andlet's go walking.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
But that's not something that we do.
I'm not finished, okay.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
You can do that together.
I see couples out all the time.
When I'll be out there walkingby myself, I see couples all the
time.
That's something that you coulddo.
I mean you can say hey, listen,we want to go on a mini vacay.
We just may want to get a hotelon the beach for a couple days
and toss the cell phones.
(29:27):
That's something that you canset.
You can say, hey, like for us.
We say in 2026, we want to havea sneaker ball for our
anniversary.
That's something that we'regoing to plan for the end of 25.
We'll go to our app and we'lldo that.
So it's different things thatyou can set up.
You want to talk?
You can pray together.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
All right, so this, yeah, so we set up spiritual.
So how are we going to do?
Devotion together, Praytogether, right?
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Yeah, but I pray in the morning and you're just
getting in bed, so I pray overyou in the morning.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Um, I pray over you in the morning, but that's part
of it.
But if that's a spiritual goal,but you pray for me while I'm
sleeping at night, right?
So I mean so that's a spiritualgoal.
Right.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
You say, okay, wait a minute, we're not because we're
missing.
You work at night, I work inthe daytime.
So since we're missing thatconnection, we need to find a
time.
Maybe we can do like we haveour Saturday mornings Saturday
morning is going to be our timefor prayer, right OK.
All right, so you know I'm upthere.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
So those are that.
The first thing we should gotto got to do is make sure that
we are spiritual connected.
Right, that's the first thing.
Ok, good to go, all right, whatelse?
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Financial debt.
Let's figure out how we canknock down some debt if we have
okay, so we're gonna maybe cutout going out for dinner, maybe
take dinner down from five timesa month and probably down to
two, because that money could goto a hip and eliminate some
financial debt, debt that wemight have we might want to get
(30:59):
rid of.
Maybe we might want to pay offa credit card so we can use that
credit card to do something bigokay um, my second, what my oh?
the next one is date night.
Date night is so important andagain, we've talked about it so
many times before.
Where it doesn't have to beexpensive, we've had picnics in
the living room, on the floor,that's right, that's right we've
(31:20):
raided the refrigerator andbought all of the leftovers out,
heated them up, put them in themiddle of the floor or got rid
of the dog, put out a movie onnetflix and we would sit there
and we would just eat and justreally talk.
So spending quality timetogether is so important and
going for that walk or a ridebecause sometimes we'll get in
(31:41):
the car and let the roof openand ride down a1a down the beach
and just ride and talk, and Ifind that when we do that most
of the time, those moments areso important to me because it's
like we really, if we need toclear the air, we clear the air,
but usually we just talkingabout crazy stuff.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Right, right, but that's kind of.
Yeah, it's connection time.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
And then I remember we went on this road trip.
We got off from work I think weboth had gotten paid that
Friday we got in the car and wejust drove.
We ended up St Petersburg.
We were all over the west coastof Florida and that was like
one of my most favorite times.
(32:25):
Now we did hit the outlets but,that was one of my most
favorite times versus us goingon a cruise or going wherever
Right, right right that was itbecause we spent time on the
road.
We talked, we laughed, we had agood time.
And then it comes down to thenext one Set time aside to laugh
(32:46):
.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
To laugh, just out of Just laugh.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Just laugh together.
You got to find something.
It has to be something a day,every day, that you can just sit
down and just think ofsomething that you can laugh
together.
Right, not individually, youjust want to laugh together and
just I mean just crack up.
So you say, boy, you stupid.
But you know, you crazy.
It's just something to happento where you laugh together.
(33:14):
It has to be something on on.
You see something funny on theTV, you see something funny in
Instagram reel or TikTok orwhatever, and you bring and say
you know what?
I just want to send this to youbecause this is crazy.
It made me crack up.
And I think memorable times islike when we're laughing
(33:35):
together to where we can't evenI can't even drive and we just
laughing and laughing till wecrying.
Those are some good times whyyou laugh?
Speaker 2 (33:44):
because I'm thinking about.
We have this thing in ourfamily with James Brown, where
he's being interviewed everybodyin his family's practice ladies
.
He said.
Well, james, why is it that theladies love you so much?
He said I don't know.
He was drunk.
He said because I look good, Ismell good.
(34:05):
I may look good.
She said oh well there you haveit.
There you have it, and it'slike such a thing where our
family, whenever we hear it, wejust die laughing.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Because he had just got out of jail.
He was completely drunk andhigh, but it was so funny just
to see it.
I thought Nat started that,didn't he?
Yes, nat started that getting inthe water he was definitely a
James Brown fan, but that'ssomething that we'll just.
And another thing we do toowe'll shoot out something from a
movie, just a little small clip.
(34:36):
Something I remember one timewhen Jordan was talking, he was
saying something, me and Nat wasdriving alone and he said
something that me and Nat turnedaround and say you, just a boy,
you ought not say that we justlaughed, and that was from the
movie, sling Blade.
I have a movie with all of thekids that that I watch with them
, and that was one with her, andit even with Nikki and and I
(34:58):
mean like just little thingssometimes, guys, it's the little
things, yeah, it's the littleto keep the marriage going you
know, I don't get me wrong, Ilike jewelry, I love my stuff, I
like having things, but moreimportant, you know the more
(35:19):
important is the little thingsLike one day you came home and
you bought me a Kit Kat.
Yeah, I was like oh babe youthought about me while you were
out and that Kit Kat what theylike almost $3, now for $4.
I don't know.
I'm telling you but just it'sthe little things.
You don't have to go into debt.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
You're right.
Yeah, you don't have to go intodebt.
You shouldn't have to go.
If you got a spouse that alwaysthinks got to be expensive,
materialistic, materialistic,then y'all got to sit down and
y'all got to talk and you got tosay, look, you married me and
I'm not a materialistic personand that's why you got to find
(36:00):
out so much before you getmarried and date.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
That's why couples Couples counseling.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Hey, you know what You're materialistic, because
you can tell.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
When do you think a person should do couple
counseling?
How long should they have beenin a relationship?
Speaker 1 (36:15):
They can.
I mean it's up to them.
I mean you don't have to beengaged.
You don't have to be engaged inorder to do couples counseling.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Exactly so if you're dating three months, six months.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Yeah, you can start a couples counseling.
That doesn't mean that you knowyou're finding out if you're
compatible, because sometimes ittakes other people that's been
in it, that's done it to drawout the things that you need to
talk about, because sometimesyou'd be so infatuated oh, he's
cute, she's cute, she's fine,and you're going out to eat and
(36:47):
you're talking, and you'retalking and you just need
sometimes you just need somebodyelse to say what about this,
what about that?
When you think that you'regetting serious, I think that's
a time where you start findingout.
When you think you startgetting serious, like say, you
know what, you ain't thinkingabout nobody else, you're
thinking about that person.
And I know I'm talking aboutteenagers, because teenagers,
(37:07):
you know how they are.
What I'm talking about is youget older, you get older and
that person is on your mind andso you can talk to somebody else
and say, hey, let's have acouple of counsels, let's go out
to eat or whatever, and startbringing out things and you can
see that right.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
So my last thought was, which we've been hitting on
throughout the podcast iscouple counsels.
But if you are married, and trydoing some retreats marriage
retreats so you can hear fromother couples.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Right right, right right.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Eric and I went to one in October.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was reallygood.
We really.
I mean, it's so interestingthat we do our own marriage
retreat, but for us not to be incharge getting that information
, getting impartation from otherpeople and other couples, that
was great.
So you can always learn fromother couples.
It don't have to be you don'thave to, I don't even know what
(38:00):
word I could use.
It don't have to be, you don'thave to, I don't even know what
word I could use.
It don't have to be thatserious.
You go, you sit, you learn, youspeak if you choose to, because
we didn't have to which wasgreat Because we do it so much,
and we do our own.
So definitely and trust andbelieve we actually found this
marriage retreat on Facebook.
(38:20):
I actually sent it to Eric andit was free.
They paid for ouraccommodations.
They gave us a $200 gift card.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
I got to tell you about our business.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
It was so much fun, so I'm just saying like yeah,
try some marriage retreats.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
So we got on.
Missy says put your expectationon a yellow paper right.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
Absolutely Put the expectations.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
So you're going in and say, okay, this is what I'm
expecting this year.
You're going in with eyes wideopen, what you're expecting on
that year.
We are tithers, right, and wealways start out praying and
then we say, lord, we want togive this amount of money next
year, tithe.
And people may say, well, whyy'all want to do that, why y'all
(39:04):
say that?
Because when we say we want togive that much, that means we're
looking for the Lord to blessus enough in order for us to
give it.
So we say we're going to give$15,000.
That's our goal.
So that means, as a coupletogether, we're looking that
we're going to make at least$150,000 together right, because
(39:25):
we're giving 10%.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
Right.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Right, so that's a good, a good thing to do.
Well, like I said, wedefinitely send each other those
IG reels.
Yeah, I know sometimes theysend it to us too.
We have John Russell.
He says, says we have toincorporate, putting our goals
in a place where we'll see itevery day.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Yes, John, you got to do that.
You have to put it in a placewhere you see it every day.
Put it in your room.
That's your room.
I mean, I know people.
Sometimes people say you wantto put a car and you want to put
it on the refrigerator, becauseyou go inside the refrigerator
all the time and that's cool.
But for your goals, for you andyour spouse, put it in your
(40:06):
room.
If you have two yellow sheetsof paper that's why we have the
paper where it flips up and allthat but just put it down there
and so you can see the goalsthat you're setting.
You see it, man, because if youdon see the goals that you're
setting, right, you see it, man,because if you don't see it,
you'll forget about it and amonth will pass, and a two month
will pass, three months willpass and December get here.
(40:29):
You'll be like man, we haven'taccomplished anything.
You know why?
Because you think that you gotit here, yeah, then you can keep
it here, right.
You think that you can keep iton your phone.
You think that you can keep itin your computer.
They are all nice, that's goodfor organization, right.
But when you write it, theywould tell you, and when you go
to school, they'll tell you towrite it, type it, hear it say
(40:51):
it, because the more times youwrite it, you say it and all
this stuff it gets into you.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Right, it's just like the Word of God the more you
read it, the more you get intoit and meditate on it, the more
you hide that word in your belly.
I was just telling my brotherabout that.
Yeah that's when you make thatvision, you write that and you
see that, and then you go backto it and say, okay, so we're in
March.
Did we accomplish what we wasgoing to accomplish in January?
Yes.
Did we make it through February?
(41:16):
Good.
Make it through February good.
Do we need to add?
Oh, we gotta add so and so,because we forgot about this.
so we add things and, as you see, I love it because I actually
was helping my aunt plan for heranniversary party coming up and
one day I went over and I hadthis sheet and I said here's
what we gonna do.
Boom, I put that sheet on thewall and I started writing okay,
where are we?
(41:37):
We're in September, we're inhere.
And she was like this.
And she was like this is good.
I was like put it where you cansee it every day.
And so she was like this works,because now I see it, now I
know what my steps are, now Iknow what my goals are, I know
how to get to this point.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Mind you, she's been planning this about four years
now, so when we have our yellowsheet of paper.
You years now, so when we haveour yellow sheet of paper you
may have four or five yellowsheets of paper.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
We ain't putting all that I love the beer.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
I'm not saying that you put because you may have.
You're talking about everymonth, you're talking about
personal goals and you'retalking about marriage goals.
You put it all there and thenyou're going to consolidate it,
right, so that's what you do, soyou put in all of it, because
what you're doing, you'rethrowing out things.
You're throwing out this iswhat we want to do, Right, and
you look at as Lucille's, yousay OK, Some of the goals that
(42:29):
we may not be able to accomplishagree, agree on.
Right, we're not.
We just going to worry aboutthe ones that we.
If we can't agree on those,then we know we need to pray
more about it.
So you put it in a bucket ofprayer.
You put those ones that youcan't agree on.
You put it in the bucket ofprayer.
The ones that you can agree on,those are the ones that you're
marching along.
(42:49):
You're just marching along andthose are the ones that you're
going to be doing for 2025.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
And don't focus on the one that you don't agree on.
Yeah, don't focus on it,Because the one that you agree
on, once you get the ones thatyou can agree on, the ones that
you disagree on might not evenbe an issue anymore.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
We're going to move on from that.
We're going to get this new car.
Yeah, we're going to get thisnew furniture.
You know what I'm saying, right?
So sometimes, if you focus onwhat we can agree on, Right yeah
.
You want to stay focused on thethings that you can agree on.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
That's it, that's it, that's good, right there.
So what you can do, right Again, you can write them all down,
put them, put them on yourcomputer, write it all down.
And what you can do, you canget ready to make a compelling
vision.
So some people say you makeyour vision first and work the
(43:42):
goal to set it.
So I say do it reverse, writeeverything down, throw
everything down and then, fromall of those things, now you can
get a compelling vision from itand you may get help.
That's why AI is here.
I'm telling you I better go tochat GVT, write it all down and
say can you help me get acompelling vision in two
(44:05):
sentences?
Right For my marriage, or forhelp me, and that's what is
there to help.
And you can narrow it down.
And narrow it down and say, ok,we can agree that this has
helped to reword it and make itpersonal, and at least it helps
you, right, it saves time.
And so now you have a visionand you have your goals.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
And you'll be ready for 2025.
Yeah, All right, we're readyfor 2025.
All right, we got any comments,any comments that we need to
talk, you need to talk abouthere.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
Well, let's just give a shout out to Dayton Ohio.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Dayton Ohio, Dayton Ohio.
Oh boy, that's a distance,ain't it?
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Thank you for letting him know he should take them
walks with me.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Oh boy.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
He really should yeah .
Speaker 1 (45:03):
I really should.
Speaker 2 (45:06):
All right.
Do you have any personal goalsthat you want to try for this
upcoming year that I can helpyou with?
Speaker 1 (45:12):
Well, I mean one of the personal goals is I do want
to lose weight.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
You do.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
Yeah, I do want to lose some weight, so I got to
get out there and make sure I doand I want to make sure my high
.
I have high blood pressure andI want to make sure I want to
keep my blood pressure down.
That's one of the goals, that'sanother goal.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
How could I help you with that?
Speaker 1 (45:33):
I guess it takes a little stress.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
I stress you out.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
No, I'm just saying with everything.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
How can I help you?
When you say stress, I'm like Idon't want to stress you.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Don't stress me out, baby, but you know, cook healthy
foods.
Did y'all hear that?
Did y'all hear that I'm talkingabout cook?
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
I won't do that.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
See, See, there you go See.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Lucy will say Jordy, you need to go to the gym with
your son.
Can we get a clap for that?
Speaker 1 (46:06):
No, we ain't getting a clap for that.
Let's, jordan, be like that.
Hey, if you have something, youwant to call in 754-222-2219.
754-222-2219.
If you want to do that, you cancall in.
We maybe share some of yourgoals.
We got a couple more minutesthat we want to do and Lucille
said lose what Tiny man.
Yeah, you can call in754-222-2219.
(46:31):
And you can.
If you want to share some ofyour goals, you can do that as
well.
We'd love to hear where you go.
So what are some of your goalsthat I can help you with me?
you were talking about me, so Iwant to find out what some of
the goals that that I can helpyou out with too well, I'm
taking these class.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
Well I I'm a procrastinator when it comes
down to taking to school anddoing assignments and getting
things done.
I like to wait till thedeadline, till two days before
the deadline.
So if you could really help meto stay on task, and finish this
certification and this renewalfor my directors.
(47:14):
If I can get you to say, comeon, babe, because you know me,
I'll come home from work and getin the bed and stay in the bed.
Stay in the bed.
I'm actually at a February.
My certification is February.
My credentials expire.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (47:33):
But I've registered for the class in September.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
Okay, all right.
Okay, when do you want thisdone?
When do you have that?
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Well, I was going to do it for Thanksgiving, but your
wonderful self and yourchildren decided that I needed
to cook.
So that took that week for megoing to the grocery store,
getting everything together.
So I couldn't do it then and Iwas thinking about doing it for
Christmas.
But I got to go see my mom.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
But can't you, while we're driving, that you do some
of that?
Speaker 2 (48:05):
But who's going to talk to you while you're driving
?
Don't worry about that.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
I got my music going, can't you?
I mean, do you need to have?
I mean, even if you haveinternet, you can, I can hotspot
it.
That's right, you can hotspotit.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
So so you can do that while you well, I didn't tell
you to start giving me a planmaking my vision plain.
I said I need you to encourageme.
You want me to be traveling onthe highway doing homework.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
Yeah, I mean doing the schoolwork.
That's cool, I'm fine with that.
You said you're gonna bereading anyway, you were reading
a book, so why not just readyour school work?
Speaker 2 (48:45):
yeah, so again.
I procrastinate when it comesdown to that.
But you know what?
I was an A B student.
I just waited to the lastminute to get stuff done.
But when I got it done, I gotit done because I prayed and I
asked the Lord to help me out.
Speaker 1 (48:59):
Alright, alright, alright.
I got it done.
I got it done because I prayedand I asked the Lord to help you
out.
Help Jesus, all right, allright, all right, yeah.
All right, so yeah, so yeah, wecan do that, we can do that, we
can do that.
Speaker 2 (49:10):
What Lucille say Jesus is going to talk to him
while he's driving.
Get to work, dog.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
That's it, that's it.
That's it, that's it all.
Right, we're just waiting forsomebody to call.
I mean, if nobody calls in forthe goals, we just want to thank
you for joining us tonight.
We pray that throughout ourtalk tonight, that it helps you
and your spouse to plan for2020s on five and to set goals,
set your vision Right, and Iwant to just make sure I want to
(49:45):
encourage all of the husbandsyou lead on that let's have this
meeting, let's do what we needto do and let's accomplish that
and just be the leader on thatas well.
I just want to encourage all ofthe guys to do that.
If you haven't said, remember,december 31st is right around
the corner too yeah, it is Right.
And you don't want to go intoJanuary one and say, well, we're
(50:07):
going to have the meeting inJanuary.
No, you want to hit the groundrunning in January one.
Right, you want to hit theground running.
This is our goal.
This is what we doing?
Speaker 2 (50:17):
this is what we're doing.
Speaker 1 (50:18):
Yeah, this is what we're doing for 2025, and if you
do that, I guarantee you youhave a better year.
You have a better year in 2025.
If you know you all those otheryears you've been flopping and
flopping at least you havesomething to try to attain, and
then, if you can't attain it,you just hey, next year we're
gonna do it, we're gonna, we'regonna knock this out.
(50:40):
All right, you was gettingready to say something baby,
yeah, I was getting ready to sayit.
Speaker 2 (50:43):
Even if something that's on your goal list falls
short, don't look at it like man.
I failed and I'm just going tothrow in the towel on it.
You know what, go to the nextgoal and come back to that,
because sometimes you have toput things aside and kind of
regroup.
Speaker 1 (50:59):
Right, right right.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
To accomplish it, so it's okay if it don't work out
the first time.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
Go back again.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
Nothing in life is easy.
Right, the things that's goingto benefit you the most are
going to be the things that youwork the hardest to get.
Okay, all right.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
In two weeks it'll be the 30th.
I know we're going to be alittle tired coming back from
South Carolina, Are?
I know we're going to be alittle tired coming back from
South Carolina.
Are we going to be back on?
We're coming back that Sunday.
So I'm thinking, man, we shouldhave our family on for our last
podcast of the year.
Get them kids on and we justtrip out a little bit, We'll see
(51:34):
.
Well, I mean we got to say that.
I mean, are we going to have30th or are we not going to have
the 30th?
Speaker 2 (51:39):
I don't know.
We'll just be coming back intown, right, all right.
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Cool, so we'll send it out if we do.
Okay, all right, but again, wewant you to like and share.
Make comments, please.
Once we're off, you can makethe comments put in comments and
maybe you can make somecomments about what you'd like
to hear next.
Right, you can also go to ApplePodcasts, iheartradio, spotify,
amazon Music, go back toYouTube Music we're everywhere
(52:06):
and support.
All we're asking for is supportto support us, and the more you
listen to it, the better youcan go out and I had fun tonight
.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
What about you?
I love our audience.
We love our audience.
Speaker 1 (52:18):
What about you?
Always, I love our audience,you love our audience, I love
our audience.
Well, we want to just thank youagain for joining us and we
want to say goodnight.
Speaker 2 (52:27):
Goodnight, thank you.
Welcome to Marriage and Real Life.
Welcome All right, we're so gladthat you could join us for
another podcast, right, right,give another shout out, all
right.
Well, we're so glad we see somepeople who are watching with us
(00:20):
.
We want you to like and share.
Please make you like.
Please make you like.
I can't get my words right.
Whoa man.
Please like and share ontonight.
As you see, you, make sure youhit the like button.
Tell us where you're watchingfrom.
Put your name down there.
Tell us where you're watchingfrom.
We can give you a shout out Forthose who are new with us.
My name is Eric.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
And I'm Boss Lady P.
All right, my name is Eric and.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
I'm Boss Lady P.
All right, all right, so we'rethe host of Marriage and Real
Life.
Hey, we've been married almost32 years.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Almost 33 years 33?
.
Oh jeez you don't like me verymuch.
Do you?
I don't think you do.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
You can't remember the wonderful years that I've
dedicated to you, and this love.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Jeez Eric.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Jeez, All right.
Well, yeah, 33 years man.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
April 27th, just in case you don't remember.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Yeah, I know, I remember that.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Remember the date, but you don't remember the year.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Yeah, sometimes I get lost.
I'm getting older now.
You're lost in my love.
Yes, lost in your love, baby.
Lost in your love Again.
We want to make sure you likeand share.
Tell us where you're watchingfrom.
Tonight is a very interestingtopic.
We're trying to get ready for2025.
Tonight we're talking aboutmarriage goals.
(01:45):
We're talking about marriagegoals and we should say why
should married couples set goals?
So we're saying that settinggoals together in a marriage can
help each other feel moreconnected.
All right, when you set thegoals, you feel more connected
because you're working towards ashared vision and improve the
(02:06):
health of your relationship.
Right, that's why you should,and so we got some reasons why
you should.
Just a little bit of things.
The first one is it creates asense of purpose.
It creates a sense of purposebecause goals can give a couple
a sense of direction and purposeand help them work toward a
shared vision.
(02:26):
So you got a shared vision andnow you got a road map that you
can go to it right, so that's acreative sense of purpose, all
right what is number two there?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
number two says it strengthens the connection oh
and I really like that, becausewhen you pull together and you
have a purpose, it means you canhold each other accountable for
them not doing their part,because it's going to be some
bumpy roads, things are going tohappen, life is going to life
and somebody might slip up andthey didn't meet that quota.
But it's not to criticize them,it's to help them get back on
(03:00):
track.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Right, right right.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Sometimes we can point fingers and say but you
didn't do your part and youdidn't do this, and the reason
why I, the reason why I did whatI did, is because you didn't do
what you were supposed to do.
But when you do it together,Right, you're a team.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah, you're a team.
I tell you that all the time.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
It's like being in a boxing ring, it's a tag team.
When I'm falling short, I gotto get in and say here, Eric,
you got to pull this weightbecause right now I can't fight
no more, I can't do it no more.
So I think that was strength injust being together and coming
up to that common denominatorthe two of us.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
All right, we got Michelle from Louisiana.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Hey.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Michelle.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Hey, all right.
Oh, hey, michelle, I justrealized who she was.
All right, I pray.
All is well, my love, all right.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
And the next one is like you says, you went over
here, support each other, sosetting goals can help partners
support each other andacknowledge each other's
contributions.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Right.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
So that's what it does.
All right, go ahead, I'm goingto get the next one.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Oh, I'm next.
Where are we?
Okay, Planning goals.
It helps plan for the future,how you set steps as to, let's
say, for March we want to take amini vacay.
You plan that, you set thefoundation for it and how we're
going to get to this point.
So I think those goals also gointo a father.
(04:26):
It don't have to be threemonths, it could be a year or
two years, but when you sit downtogether and you set those
goals, you have a master plan,so to speak which you're trying
to reach, so I definitely agreewith that.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
All right.
Next one prevent conflict.
So goals can help couplestackle conflicts before they
arise.
So you're looking in the futureand you say this might be a
potential problem.
And so let's look at, whilewe're setting this goal, this
might be a potential problemlike I may lose my job or
whatever like this, and now wecan tackle this before it even
happens exactly and then whenyou plan together, when you
(05:02):
create that sense of purpose,those conflicts are minimal
right right because it's a bigplan.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
It's like we.
It's a bigger plan here versusus fighting over something small
right, right, right, right,okay.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
So we also do what.
We balance individual andcouple goals.
Right, all right, we gotlucille's got, like what is the
most important goal to set?
We're gonna be going, we'regonna be going through all these
goals.
Okay, right, we're going to gothrough there.
So what this couple couples,what you need to ensure that
goals are built on somethingthey value, right, right, if you
(05:38):
don't value it, you're notgoing to try to strive for it.
That's right going to try tostrive for it.
That's right, right.
So if you I mean if you valuegetting the house, if that's one
of your values, I mean you'regoing to put together and strive
for it.
So that's why couples againshould sit down and and come
come up with their goals,because if you do that again,
(05:59):
you're motivated to work towardsit.
Anything that now it is alsoimportant.
One of the things is importantin setting goals, and married
goals, is that make sure thatthe goals are realistic, yeah,
and attainable so that's why Ithink you should set small, make
small steps to lead to thebigger one but you know, because
(06:20):
it's I mean when I say I guess,when I look at attainable, it's
like you can't say now you'regoing to be really doing you,
are you a hundred thousand, bothof you a hundred thousand
dollars in debt, and you'resaying, hey, by the end of the
year we want to be out of debtand we're going to be saving
fifty thousand dollars.
Daddy, now, if somebody coulddo that, then they're good,
(06:42):
right.
But if you can say, look, likeyou said, we're $100,000 in debt
, but let's make sure that we'regoing to be $20,000 less in
debt, right, and save $5,000.
That's attainable.
It may stretch you a little bit, but it is to get to that
bigger goal.
(07:03):
Yeah, so you can have yourfive-year goal right your
five-year goal, your two-yeargoal and your one-year goal, and
part of that five-year goal isyour 2025 goal.
Like you said, it's small steps, all right, small steps, but
it's got a spectrum.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Five, seven years.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
You can buy that house, I'm telling you and we
know, with God, all things arepossible, right, and so, with
faith, even in faith, the thingsthat are attainable by our own
strength, we don't need God, wedon't need to have the faith in
it.
We got to have supernaturalfaith.
When we look at a vision and weset goals and we say, man, I
(07:39):
don't know how we're going to doit, but we're going to do it
because we have faith that wecan do it.
Right, all right, all right, soall right, hey Missy, hey Missy
, how you doing?
Hey, missy?
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
Yes yes, yes, all right.
So when we're going through,let's go through the goal
setting, let's go through somethings that we do right, and I
just want to say that when I'mdoing the research, you can go
all online and get all of thesegold hot.
You know all of these people,and some of them are selling
their goal setting for 25.
(08:17):
You get a spreadsheet, you buythe spreadsheet for 25, or you
can do this and you could dothat.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
We need our own business.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Yeah, we need our own business, but we're setting our
thing out for free.
Amen, all right.
So it's out there and peoplehave different ways of doing it,
but one thing we like to do isthat we like to get our big
yellow sheet of paper.
Oh, we should have bought that.
We should have bought ouryellow sheet of paper, right?
(08:44):
Yeah, and start writing on it,right.
And I think one of the bestthings to do I think what we're
getting ready to do is leavewhere you're comfortable, go to
a place, maybe at the end of theyear, one or two days you're
spending time together and it'saway from everybody, and it's
away from the hustle and bustle,where you can set your goals
(09:07):
for your marriage, right.
And I also think that, ashusbands, I have a mentor group.
As husbands, we should besetting the example.
We should be calling our wivesto just say look, let's set
these goals right.
If we're going to be leaders,we have to be leaders, and we
(09:27):
need to be leaders in thisaspect where we're saying, hey,
babe, we need to sit down, weneed to set some goals for 2025.
Because if you don't have anygoals set, your marriage will be
all over the place, right, andwe don't want our marriages to
be all over the place.
We want to have something.
Look, the bible says write thevision and make it plain.
Right, that's what the.
So when people see it they canrun with it.
(09:48):
Right.
And so when we write it down,we can look at it.
What do we do we?
I like, how you have it, thatyou got it right there at the
door.
So every time we leave out ourroom, there's our goals and our
vision for, for what every year?
for the year.
It's right there.
So we see it all the time.
Right, we know what's going onin our lives and what was
(10:11):
attainable and what's notattainable, all right.
So so the first thing that weshould do is pray.
Right, that's the first thingwe should do.
And the reason why I say prayis because the Bible says we got
to use wisdom in because wetalk about it got to be
attainable, we got to use wisdom.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
Right.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Right, and so the Bible says any man likes wisdom,
let him ask and he will giveyou freely.
So I believe that's one of thethings that you should do is sit
down and let's pray and sayLord, give us wisdom.
Again, there's that leader Men,if you're watching, please sit
down with your wife, hold a handand say Lord, give us wisdom on
(10:51):
what we need to do for 2025.
And if you're setting for fiveyears the big things and what we
need to do, but we know for2025, lord, give us wisdom so we
can attain and we can be afruitful marriage, and so the
first thing we should do is pray, all right, so that's number
one.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Number one.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
All right Number two.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Number two, to write down important dates
anniversaries, birthdays If youhave children, when schools
start, when it ends, if you haveany medical things that you
might have to take up I need togo to the dentist you want to
make sure that most of the datesthat are important to both of
you, not just one of you right,we're doing this together.
(11:34):
Important to both of you thatyou put them down.
You write them down, so how Ido is I get that sheet of paper
and I put the whole 12 months onthere for the year.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
We go month by month.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
We go month by month.
What's going on?
In January, it's Aries'birthday.
February oh, it's Valentine'sDay.
We ain't trying to do nothing.
March what's coming up?
Oh, my mother's birthday.
All of my granddaughter'sbirthday is in March, high at
the end.
So we just sit down and wewrite down that stuff and then
we get oh yeah, don't forget ouranniversary.
So you want to do stuff likethat that you aware of, because,
(12:08):
as the in leave space, becauseas the year go, you might have
to add.
I have to add some stuff in.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Right, right, right, yep, yep, so even vacation.
Yep, definitely vacation you gotto choose, you should be taking
.
If you're taking a familyvacation, you put it down there.
Got to choose, you should betaking.
If you're taking a familyvacation, you put it down there.
This is a goal to take a familyvacation.
You ain't got to say where yet,but at least you put down the
dates.
All right.
And if you're taking anindividual vacation, you and
your spouse without the children, you're leaving the children
(12:37):
with grand, grandma and grandpa,whatever don't say that too
loud.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Don't say that, don't say that too loud.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
All right, we're going to keep that on the
dialogue, all right, all right.
So, yeah, so you do that.
You need to put those datesdown, go month by month to the
end of the year.
When is Christmas?
If you're working like we workfor the school board, how does
those days mess with this?
Put down your grandchildrenbirthday.
What about anniversaries, evenyour anniversary, especially.
Put down your grandchildren'sbirthday.
(13:04):
What about anniversaries, evenyour anniversary, especially.
Better put down youranniversary, guys, you better
remember that date.
Yeah, I'm telling you and it'stwo important days that you
better remember the anniversaryand your wife's birthday.
All right?
And the same with us, ladies,you don't forget anniversaries,
(13:24):
you remember that one year I gota cake for you.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
I had it made like a print symbol.
I was like, yes, this is Ariesbirthday and I gave it to you on
the 8th and you were like mybirthday on the 9th.
And you mean, let us eat thecake until the next day, that's
right, and the kids are lookinglike okay, yeah, that's
important.
Whatever is next day, that'sright, that's right.
Kids look alike okay, yeah,that's important.
(13:47):
Whatever is important.
If you sit down together,you'll know what's important to
each other.
If you communicate, you'll knowwhat's important to each other.
Honesty- right not holdingthings back, because sometimes
you can't say a person is lyingif they just haven't told you
all right.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Marie say you got to put down there when you started
dating.
You have to remember that.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Oh, yeah, that's a new one.
Yeah, that's important too, theday that you fell in love.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
Fell in love.
Lucille say she's a grandma.
She says take your kids withyou, right, right, I hear you,
lucille.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
She don't take hers.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
She said take your kids with you, All right.
So you got to make sure you putdown those dates.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah, those dates are very important.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
You got to make sure you put down those dates.
And then the next thing youhave to do, all right, so the
first thing you pray, the nextthing you write down your dates.
Right, all of your dates.
The next thing you got to do isstart picking your personal
goals.
Right, okay, you should come tothe table with personal goals.
What do you want for yourself?
(14:48):
And you said it before.
You said it.
The reason why you bringpersonal goals is because, if
you say your goals out loud, youwrite your goals down.
Now, I can know how to help you.
Right, I can do that becauseyou write them down.
So if it's spiritual, right, Ican help you.
(15:11):
I can hold you accountable whenyou and you can hold me
accountable for my personalgoals and we are, we are helping
each other because they arepersonal.
Maybe you have health, like yousaid, you know your health.
Maybe you want to lose weight.
Maybe you want to lose weight.
Maybe you want to gain weight,maybe whatever.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
However, I don't know many people that want to gain
weight.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
But you may have some people that want to gain weight
because they lost too muchweight.
They may want to say you knowwhat?
I want to gain a couple.
I want to put a little coupleof pounds on the hip.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Yeah, right.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
I want to pull a couple of pounds or I want to be
muscular Right, so that's gain.
Put some definition Right, andso that means that if you got to
get a gym membership or not geta gym membership, is that, once
you write it down, we can say,okay, there's, those again are
attainable goals, right?
You can't go into it and say Iwant to lose 200 pounds.
(16:07):
That's a lot to lose, and beinghealthy and losing that is very
difficult, right?
So you want to do someattainable goals and also you
want to make sure not onlyyou're doing physical health but
mental health.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
That's really important, because sometimes we
put more on us than what we'lldo so much.
But then we'll say, oh well,the Lord won't put more on me
than I can bear.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
But that ain't biblical anyway.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
But you put it on yourself.
That's why I say small stepsuntil you can attain what it is
that you whatever goal it isyou're trying to reach, as far
as your health, and then yourmental health can chill out if
you're taking smaller steps.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
Right, right.
So we should pick personalgoals, bring your personal goals
so before you come to themeeting, right, you got to come
to the meeting prepared, right,right.
So that's why we have ouryellow sheet, we have our
markers, we have our tablets, wehave our computers, we have our
tablets, we have our computers.
You bringing all of this to thetable, you and your husband
bringing all this to the table,right?
(17:07):
And you're saying, look, I gotsome personal goals and you
write down Eric, these are mypersonal goals, boom, boom.
Whatever your spiritual health,education, do you want to go
back to school or whatever youlike that, However you want to
do it?
Speaker 2 (17:20):
Yeah, like what it's going to take for me to go to
school.
How much it's going to cost?
Can I pay per class?
Can I get the books online?
You want to set those goals andI just wanted to say that.
As much as my heart was brokenwhen my lump of dump moved to
Tallahassee, but I wascomfortable with it because
every time I went to visit them,before they moved to the
(17:43):
apartment, nikki had a plan.
She had it on the wall, she hadit written down, she checked
this place, she checked thatplace, and that's how you
prepare, that's how you setgoals.
Her goal was to move toTallahassee and she achieved
that goal, but she set smallsteps first.
Right, right, right and it worksfor you, for you don't have to
just be married to to do this,but set some right division,
(18:06):
make it plain yeah, so that'swhat I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Like, these goals are for married couples, but you
can be single and do itabsolutely, because you need to
set some personal goals and notonly that once, when you get
yourself situated and you knowwhat you're gonna allow, to come
and join right union with you?
you don't want some messy personthat don't know what they doing
I was saying something but andthe thing too is that this is
(18:33):
very important, I think, to usand to a lot of people you want
to make sure in your personalgoals that you're not taking
baggage into a new year and ifyou take it in a new year, you
have your goals to get rid of itthat year absolutely and if you
need it, sometimes it helped tohear what you're thinking on
(18:56):
the inside.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
on the outside, like I used to journal, I used to
write down Eric is reallygetting on my nerves, something
like that.
I would get it out.
But then I know, like when Iwent to see a therapist I really
felt so much more released,like finally, somebody else
knows how I'm feeling right now.
Yeah, because you gotta get itout.
And they only really make yousolve your own problems.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Yeah, they do, they do, but they help you.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
But they kind of guide you in it and it's OK.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
It's no way that you should be holding on to
something for years after years.
All it's going to do is it'sgoing to mess up your marriage
Right, or mess up a relationshipwith somebody Right.
You either got to get over itor get rid of it and find a way
to to come together.
Because why would I?
This is what I don't understandabout.
You got to forgive people right.
(19:44):
First you got to forgiveyourself and then you got to
forgive people.
This is all personal goals thatyou should be having that I
don't want to take extra weight.
When I'm talking about.
I'm not talking about weight asfar as real.
I'm talking about weight ofpeople into the new year, and if
I take it in a new year, I'mnot going into the new year.
And if I take it in a new year,I'm not going into the next
(20:06):
year, I'm not going to 2026 withit.
That's my goal is to get rid ofthis extra weight of people and
unforgiveness and bitterness.
I want to get it out of myheart.
It is no way that I'm going tolet some people control me Right
and they don't even know theygot the control right and they
don't even know they got thecontrol right, but they
(20:26):
controlling you just they can bemiles, they can be next door,
they can be whatever, and theyare controlling you and you
letting them and they don'trealize it and they don't even
realize the whole, that I usedto tell the girls all the time
don't give people the power tocontrol your day.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
No, you wrong me and I used to have a hard time with
forgiving people.
I used to be like you know whatI don't?
I don't do her, I don't do himanymore, whatever.
But what I realized is that Ican forgive them and still be
afar yes, but the forgivenesswas more for me.
Yes, so I can move forward withwhat.
(21:01):
I wanted in life With how I wantit to be, and sometimes we
don't realize the control thatwe give people.
People are going to be people.
He ain't going to change.
The only thing going to changethem is the Lord, jesus Christ,
and if they don't want to change, he ain't going to force them
to change.
He give us free will.
(21:24):
So the only thing we could dois we could step back and let it
go.
Yep, yeah, you can't.
I should say this all the time.
You can't build a uh, uh, letme see.
You can't build a great futureif you're dragging the past with
you, of course, you can't youcan't, because you're going to
constantly be in the back ofyour mind.
You're going to have badrelationships because you're
going to trust nobody becausethe last person that did you
wrong.
You're going to have badrelationships because you ain't
(21:45):
going to trust nobody becausethe last person that did you
wrong.
You're going to have familymembers that did you wrong and
you're going to have toeventually say you know what?
Speaker 1 (21:50):
I love you, sis, but I got to let you go, it's for me
yeah that mental health.
Right there, that's mentalhealth.
Speaker 2 (21:55):
No, that's mental health, so you have to deal with
it accordingly.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
You got to deal with it, deal with it accordingly.
You got to deal with it, so yougot to hold.
And so that's why, again, youbring your personal goals and
you're saying to your husband,you're saying to your wife that,
look, I don't want to go intonext year with this.
And so the thing is I would sayto you okay, patsy, how can I
help you to achieve yourpersonal goals?
(22:21):
Because that's what it's allabout.
How can I, what can I, as Eric,do to help you achieve your
personal goals?
And you may say you know whatPay for me for therapy?
Ok, all right, so that's myhelp of you, because that's what
it's about.
I'm bringing my personal goalsand I'm asking you I'm putting
(22:41):
these personal goals not that Ican attain it by myself, right,
I know I'm going to need God'shelp that's why we pray first,
right, but I need your help inorder to attain it.
I'm not going to bring stuffthat I could attain to myself,
that I could do myself.
I'm bringing that passage.
I need your help to hold meaccountable or do whatever to
(23:01):
help me attain this goal.
And if mental health is a goalthat's going to, that I think
that I need to deal with.
I need to deal with it.
All right, all right, all right, we got a few comments she's
talking about.
We have a planning meetingscheduled, all right.
And then Lucia said what if youmake 10 goals and one of those
(23:23):
goals you can't agree?
All right, we're going to getto how the goals making when it
comes to couples All right.
And Michelle said writing keepsher mind right.
Right, however, you need to doit.
You need to keep your mindright.
But if you know your mentalhealth is affecting your
relationship, right.
(23:44):
If you have a husband, have awife, and say you're writing and
say that's not happening, right.
You say you bring that goal,you say I'm going to be writing,
okay.
And say it's not happening,then the next step is therapy.
You just got to make sure thatyou are keeping your mind
healthy, you as an individual,right?
Yes, you got to make sure,because are keeping your mind
healthy you as an individual,right?
Yes, you got to make surebecause one of the problems, too
(24:06):
, that married couples have isthat I worry so much about what
you're supposed to be doing tillI forget about what I'm
supposed to be doing yeah, I'mworried about oh, you're
supposed to be doing this andyou're supposed to be doing this
, and you know I to be doingthis and you know I hear some
people especially like this hascome from women.
I'm just going to let you knowthis coming.
(24:27):
Oh, you're supposed to be theleader.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
You ain't leading Well one thing too about leaders
.
There's different leadershipstyles.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Right From being coming from the military, I have
different leaders and I had tolearn their leadership style,
because I couldn't expect thisleader to be like this leader
and boy did I have some dooziesright.
And so you have to understandyour.
If you're talking about ahusband, you're talking about a
man.
You got to understand hisleadership style Cause maybe,
like me, I'm soft spoken, right,I don't.
(24:57):
You know, I don't get allaround.
And you've learned to learn tosay, okay, I know Eric ain't
gonna get all mad, he gonna do,you know, do this.
But you learn, that's myleadership style and I know what
to give away and I know what to.
So you just have to do that,right.
So you gotta know what I'msupposed to be doing, and then
you do what you're supposed tobe doing, and then we all good,
(25:17):
right.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
You say so I think a lot of times women feel like a
man should lead.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
if he's a good leader , then she'll follow but what
I'm saying is that leadership isdifferent from different people
.
Well, I mean, but okay, it'sdifferent from different people.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Well I mean, but OK, it's different from different
people, but it's pretty much thesame job.
The job is the same you provide, you protect, you nurture your
family.
And if you can't do thosethings, I mean, what type of
leadership do you need?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
You need to take a class on protection and Well,
again, if you haven't had afather in your life.
You're saying protect, right,and what you may call protection
may be not protecting to me,right?
So I have to understand, I haveto learn what you mean by the
definition of protection.
I have to learn that that'swhat it comes in the marriage,
(26:20):
because protection for you maynot be protection for the other
person.
That's why I say I have tolearn you and you have to learn
me in this aspect.
Right?
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Because, again, but don't you think that in the
process of him learning that hecould lose his wife, Of course
he can.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
If the woman is not patient with the husband, she
has to be patient.
Yes, and the woman?
Speaker 2 (26:42):
is not patient with the husband.
She has to be patient.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Yes, and I have to be patient with you because I can
expect.
I can grow up and expect mywife to be cooking and cleaning
and doing all this stuff.
She did.
Right, I can expect that,because I can say that's what a
wife supposed to do.
I don't supposed to be cooking,I don't supposed to be ironing,
I don't supposed to be cooking,I don't supposed to be ironing,
I don't supposed to be doingthat.
But we understand in a sharedmarriage that I may have to cook
(27:06):
, I mean.
But that doesn't mean you aresaying that you are not a good
wife because you don't do it.
Now, to some people they willsay that you're not a good wife
and I'm not talking about you.
I'm just saying yes, you are no.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
I'm not, I, I'm not, I'm not talking.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
But so some people will say you're not a good wife
if you don't do these Right, ifyou don't cook, if you don't
clean, if you don't do this.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
And in essence, you are a good wife because you have
shared responsibilities.
You need to be patient, becausemaybe she wasn't raised by her
mom Again.
Maybe, she don't know how to dothat stuff.
Speaker 1 (27:39):
And that's right, I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
But in the process she could lose him because he
might be used to a clean housedinner on the table that's why
you have pre-marriage counseling, that's why you do parent-child
counseling.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
But you got to know that in the marriage it's going
to take patience to learn eachother and it's going to take you
say, look, this is a leader,this is how I lead.
Right, I may not be vocal.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
I mean in other words , counseling is good.
Couple counseling is, of course, premarital.
Counseling is good because alot of times, especially the way
we do it, how they have to dothe test, it really brings out a
lot.
It brings out a lot.
Yeah, it brings out theleadership skills and everything
especially if you're going tobe in a extended relationship,
because sometimes you can go for10 years and then you split and
(28:22):
go your separate ways.
But when you're committed, ifyou start out, let's go talk to
this person and see.
Just see where we at See if weeven have the same background of
what you believe in, what Ibelieve in, how we believe in
you, how you was raised, how Iwas raised, and I think that
makes a difference.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Yeah, of course it makes a difference.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
And in this day and society, what I see with these
kids is we in trouble?
Speaker 1 (28:45):
All right, good to go .
All right, we're moving rightalong, all right.
So the next one is what is thenext one is number four.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Pick couple goals.
You know something we want toachieve together yeah.
I mean, that's pretty muchself-explanatory If we want to
lose weight, let's get up andlet's go walking.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
But that's not something that we do.
I'm not finished, okay.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
You can do that together.
I see couples out all the time.
When I'll be out there walkingby myself, I see couples all the
time.
That's something that you coulddo.
I mean you can say hey, listen,we want to go on a mini vacay.
We just may want to get a hotelon the beach for a couple days
and toss the cell phones.
(29:27):
That's something that you canset.
You can say, hey, like for us.
We say in 2026, we want to havea sneaker ball for our
anniversary.
That's something that we'regoing to plan for the end of 25.
We'll go to our app and we'lldo that.
So it's different things thatyou can set up.
You want to talk?
You can pray together.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
All right, so this, yeah, so we set up spiritual.
So how are we going to do?
Devotion together, Praytogether, right?
Speaker 2 (29:53):
Yeah, but I pray in the morning and you're just
getting in bed, so I pray overyou in the morning.
Speaker 1 (30:00):
Um, I pray over you in the morning, but that's part
of it.
But if that's a spiritual goal,but you pray for me while I'm
sleeping at night, right?
So I mean so that's a spiritualgoal.
Right.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
You say, okay, wait a minute, we're not because we're
missing.
You work at night, I work inthe daytime.
So since we're missing thatconnection, we need to find a
time.
Maybe we can do like we haveour Saturday mornings Saturday
morning is going to be our timefor prayer, right OK.
All right, so you know I'm upthere.
Speaker 1 (30:28):
So those are that.
The first thing we should gotto got to do is make sure that
we are spiritual connected.
Right, that's the first thing.
Ok, good to go, all right, whatelse?
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Financial debt.
Let's figure out how we canknock down some debt if we have
okay, so we're gonna maybe cutout going out for dinner, maybe
take dinner down from five timesa month and probably down to
two, because that money could goto a hip and eliminate some
financial debt, debt that wemight have we might want to get
(30:59):
rid of.
Maybe we might want to pay offa credit card so we can use that
credit card to do something bigokay um, my second, what my oh?
the next one is date night.
Date night is so important andagain, we've talked about it so
many times before.
Where it doesn't have to beexpensive, we've had picnics in
the living room, on the floor,that's right, that's right we've
(31:20):
raided the refrigerator andbought all of the leftovers out,
heated them up, put them in themiddle of the floor or got rid
of the dog, put out a movie onnetflix and we would sit there
and we would just eat and justreally talk.
So spending quality timetogether is so important and
going for that walk or a ridebecause sometimes we'll get in
(31:41):
the car and let the roof openand ride down a1a down the beach
and just ride and talk, and Ifind that when we do that most
of the time, those moments areso important to me because it's
like we really, if we need toclear the air, we clear the air,
but usually we just talkingabout crazy stuff.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
Right, right, but that's kind of.
Yeah, it's connection time.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
And then I remember we went on this road trip.
We got off from work I think weboth had gotten paid that
Friday we got in the car and wejust drove.
We ended up St Petersburg.
We were all over the west coastof Florida and that was like
one of my most favorite times.
(32:25):
Now we did hit the outlets but,that was one of my most
favorite times versus us goingon a cruise or going wherever
Right, right right that was itbecause we spent time on the
road.
We talked, we laughed, we had agood time.
And then it comes down to thenext one Set time aside to laugh
(32:46):
.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
To laugh, just out of Just laugh.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Just laugh together.
You got to find something.
It has to be something a day,every day, that you can just sit
down and just think ofsomething that you can laugh
together.
Right, not individually, youjust want to laugh together and
just I mean just crack up.
So you say, boy, you stupid.
But you know, you crazy.
It's just something to happento where you laugh together.
(33:14):
It has to be something on on.
You see something funny on theTV, you see something funny in
Instagram reel or TikTok orwhatever, and you bring and say
you know what?
I just want to send this to youbecause this is crazy.
It made me crack up.
And I think memorable times islike when we're laughing
(33:35):
together to where we can't evenI can't even drive and we just
laughing and laughing till wecrying.
Those are some good times whyyou laugh?
Speaker 2 (33:44):
because I'm thinking about.
We have this thing in ourfamily with James Brown, where
he's being interviewed everybodyin his family's practice ladies
.
He said.
Well, james, why is it that theladies love you so much?
He said I don't know.
He was drunk.
He said because I look good, Ismell good.
(34:05):
I may look good.
She said oh well there you haveit.
There you have it, and it'slike such a thing where our
family, whenever we hear it, wejust die laughing.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Because he had just got out of jail.
He was completely drunk andhigh, but it was so funny just
to see it.
I thought Nat started that,didn't he?
Yes, nat started that getting inthe water he was definitely a
James Brown fan, but that'ssomething that we'll just.
And another thing we do toowe'll shoot out something from a
movie, just a little small clip.
(34:36):
Something I remember one timewhen Jordan was talking, he was
saying something, me and Nat wasdriving alone and he said
something that me and Nat turnedaround and say you, just a boy,
you ought not say that we justlaughed, and that was from the
movie, sling Blade.
I have a movie with all of thekids that that I watch with them
, and that was one with her, andit even with Nikki and and I
(34:58):
mean like just little thingssometimes, guys, it's the little
things, yeah, it's the littleto keep the marriage going you
know, I don't get me wrong, Ilike jewelry, I love my stuff, I
like having things, but moreimportant, you know the more
(35:19):
important is the little thingsLike one day you came home and
you bought me a Kit Kat.
Yeah, I was like oh babe youthought about me while you were
out and that Kit Kat what theylike almost $3, now for $4.
I don't know.
I'm telling you but just it'sthe little things.
You don't have to go into debt.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
You're right.
Yeah, you don't have to go intodebt.
You shouldn't have to go.
If you got a spouse that alwaysthinks got to be expensive,
materialistic, materialistic,then y'all got to sit down and
y'all got to talk and you got tosay, look, you married me and
I'm not a materialistic personand that's why you got to find
(36:00):
out so much before you getmarried and date.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
That's why couples Couples counseling.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Hey, you know what You're materialistic, because
you can tell.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
When do you think a person should do couple
counseling?
How long should they have beenin a relationship?
Speaker 1 (36:15):
They can.
I mean it's up to them.
I mean you don't have to beengaged.
You don't have to be engaged inorder to do couples counseling.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Exactly so if you're dating three months, six months.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Yeah, you can start a couples counseling.
That doesn't mean that you knowyou're finding out if you're
compatible, because sometimes ittakes other people that's been
in it, that's done it to drawout the things that you need to
talk about, because sometimesyou'd be so infatuated oh, he's
cute, she's cute, she's fine,and you're going out to eat and
(36:47):
you're talking, and you'retalking and you just need
sometimes you just need somebodyelse to say what about this,
what about that?
When you think that you'regetting serious, I think that's
a time where you start findingout.
When you think you startgetting serious, like say, you
know what, you ain't thinkingabout nobody else, you're
thinking about that person.
And I know I'm talking aboutteenagers, because teenagers,
(37:07):
you know how they are.
What I'm talking about is youget older, you get older and
that person is on your mind andso you can talk to somebody else
and say, hey, let's have acouple of counsels, let's go out
to eat or whatever, and startbringing out things and you can
see that right.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
So my last thought was, which we've been hitting on
throughout the podcast iscouple counsels.
But if you are married, and trydoing some retreats marriage
retreats so you can hear fromother couples.
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Right right, right right.
Speaker 2 (37:38):
Eric and I went to one in October.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was reallygood.
We really.
I mean, it's so interestingthat we do our own marriage
retreat, but for us not to be incharge getting that information
, getting impartation from otherpeople and other couples, that
was great.
So you can always learn fromother couples.
It don't have to be you don'thave to, I don't even know what
(38:00):
word I could use.
It don't have to be, you don'thave to, I don't even know what
word I could use.
It don't have to be thatserious.
You go, you sit, you learn, youspeak if you choose to, because
we didn't have to which wasgreat Because we do it so much,
and we do our own.
So definitely and trust andbelieve we actually found this
marriage retreat on Facebook.
(38:20):
I actually sent it to Eric andit was free.
They paid for ouraccommodations.
They gave us a $200 gift card.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
I got to tell you about our business.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
It was so much fun, so I'm just saying like yeah,
try some marriage retreats.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
So we got on.
Missy says put your expectationon a yellow paper right.
Speaker 2 (38:41):
Absolutely Put the expectations.
Speaker 1 (38:43):
So you're going in and say, okay, this is what I'm
expecting this year.
You're going in with eyes wideopen, what you're expecting on
that year.
We are tithers, right, and wealways start out praying and
then we say, lord, we want togive this amount of money next
year, tithe.
And people may say, well, whyy'all want to do that, why y'all
(39:04):
say that?
Because when we say we want togive that much, that means we're
looking for the Lord to blessus enough in order for us to
give it.
So we say we're going to give$15,000.
That's our goal.
So that means, as a coupletogether, we're looking that
we're going to make at least$150,000 together right, because
(39:25):
we're giving 10%.
Speaker 2 (39:26):
Right.
Speaker 1 (39:27):
Right, so that's a good, a good thing to do.
Well, like I said, wedefinitely send each other those
IG reels.
Yeah, I know sometimes theysend it to us too.
We have John Russell.
He says, says we have toincorporate, putting our goals
in a place where we'll see itevery day.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Yes, John, you got to do that.
You have to put it in a placewhere you see it every day.
Put it in your room.
That's your room.
I mean, I know people.
Sometimes people say you wantto put a car and you want to put
it on the refrigerator, becauseyou go inside the refrigerator
all the time and that's cool.
But for your goals, for you andyour spouse, put it in your
(40:06):
room.
If you have two yellow sheetsof paper that's why we have the
paper where it flips up and allthat but just put it down there
and so you can see the goalsthat you're setting.
You see it, man, because if youdon see the goals that you're
setting, right, you see it, man,because if you don't see it,
you'll forget about it and amonth will pass, and a two month
will pass, three months willpass and December get here.
(40:29):
You'll be like man, we haven'taccomplished anything.
You know why?
Because you think that you gotit here, yeah, then you can keep
it here, right.
You think that you can keep iton your phone.
You think that you can keep itin your computer.
They are all nice, that's goodfor organization, right.
But when you write it, theywould tell you, and when you go
to school, they'll tell you towrite it, type it, hear it say
(40:51):
it, because the more times youwrite it, you say it and all
this stuff it gets into you.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Right, it's just like the Word of God the more you
read it, the more you get intoit and meditate on it, the more
you hide that word in your belly.
I was just telling my brotherabout that.
Yeah that's when you make thatvision, you write that and you
see that, and then you go backto it and say, okay, so we're in
March.
Did we accomplish what we wasgoing to accomplish in January?
Yes.
Did we make it through February?
(41:16):
Good.
Make it through February good.
Do we need to add?
Oh, we gotta add so and so,because we forgot about this.
so we add things and, as you see, I love it because I actually
was helping my aunt plan for heranniversary party coming up and
one day I went over and I hadthis sheet and I said here's
what we gonna do.
Boom, I put that sheet on thewall and I started writing okay,
where are we?
(41:37):
We're in September, we're inhere.
And she was like this.
And she was like this is good.
I was like put it where you cansee it every day.
And so she was like this works,because now I see it, now I
know what my steps are, now Iknow what my goals are, I know
how to get to this point.
Speaker 1 (41:52):
Mind you, she's been planning this about four years
now, so when we have our yellowsheet of paper.
You years now, so when we haveour yellow sheet of paper you
may have four or five yellowsheets of paper.
Speaker 2 (42:03):
We ain't putting all that I love the beer.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
I'm not saying that you put because you may have.
You're talking about everymonth, you're talking about
personal goals and you'retalking about marriage goals.
You put it all there and thenyou're going to consolidate it,
right, so that's what you do, soyou put in all of it, because
what you're doing, you'rethrowing out things.
You're throwing out this iswhat we want to do, Right, and
you look at as Lucille's, yousay OK, Some of the goals that
(42:29):
we may not be able to accomplishagree, agree on.
Right, we're not.
We just going to worry aboutthe ones that we.
If we can't agree on those,then we know we need to pray
more about it.
So you put it in a bucket ofprayer.
You put those ones that youcan't agree on.
You put it in the bucket ofprayer.
The ones that you can agree on,those are the ones that you're
marching along.
(42:49):
You're just marching along andthose are the ones that you're
going to be doing for 2025.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
And don't focus on the one that you don't agree on.
Yeah, don't focus on it,Because the one that you agree
on, once you get the ones thatyou can agree on, the ones that
you disagree on might not evenbe an issue anymore.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:05):
We're going to move on from that.
We're going to get this new car.
Yeah, we're going to get thisnew furniture.
You know what I'm saying, right?
So sometimes, if you focus onwhat we can agree on, Right yeah
.
You want to stay focused on thethings that you can agree on.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
That's it, that's it, that's good, right there.
So what you can do, right Again, you can write them all down,
put them, put them on yourcomputer, write it all down.
And what you can do, you canget ready to make a compelling
vision.
So some people say you makeyour vision first and work the
(43:42):
goal to set it.
So I say do it reverse, writeeverything down, throw
everything down and then, fromall of those things, now you can
get a compelling vision from itand you may get help.
That's why AI is here.
I'm telling you I better go tochat GVT, write it all down and
say can you help me get acompelling vision in two
(44:05):
sentences?
Right For my marriage, or forhelp me, and that's what is
there to help.
And you can narrow it down.
And narrow it down and say, ok,we can agree that this has
helped to reword it and make itpersonal, and at least it helps
you, right, it saves time.
And so now you have a visionand you have your goals.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
Awesome.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
And you'll be ready for 2025.
Yeah, All right, we're readyfor 2025.
All right, we got any comments,any comments that we need to
talk, you need to talk abouthere.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
Well, let's just give a shout out to Dayton Ohio.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (44:44):
Dayton Ohio, Dayton Ohio.
Oh boy, that's a distance,ain't it?
Speaker 2 (44:54):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Yeah, thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Thank you for letting him know he should take them
walks with me.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Oh boy.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
He really should yeah .
Speaker 1 (45:03):
I really should.
Speaker 2 (45:06):
All right.
Do you have any personal goalsthat you want to try for this
upcoming year that I can helpyou with?
Speaker 1 (45:12):
Well, I mean one of the personal goals is I do want
to lose weight.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
You do.
Speaker 1 (45:17):
Yeah, I do want to lose some weight, so I got to
get out there and make sure I doand I want to make sure my high
.
I have high blood pressure andI want to make sure I want to
keep my blood pressure down.
That's one of the goals, that'sanother goal.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
How could I help you with that?
Speaker 1 (45:33):
I guess it takes a little stress.
Speaker 2 (45:36):
I stress you out.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
No, I'm just saying with everything.
Speaker 2 (45:40):
How can I help you?
When you say stress, I'm like Idon't want to stress you.
Speaker 1 (45:44):
Don't stress me out, baby, but you know, cook healthy
foods.
Did y'all hear that?
Did y'all hear that I'm talkingabout cook?
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
I won't do that.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
See, See, there you go See.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Lucy will say Jordy, you need to go to the gym with
your son.
Can we get a clap for that?
Speaker 1 (46:06):
No, we ain't getting a clap for that.
Let's, jordan, be like that.
Hey, if you have something, youwant to call in 754-222-2219.
754-222-2219.
If you want to do that, you cancall in.
We maybe share some of yourgoals.
We got a couple more minutesthat we want to do and Lucille
said lose what Tiny man.
Yeah, you can call in754-222-2219.
(46:31):
And you can.
If you want to share some ofyour goals, you can do that as
well.
We'd love to hear where you go.
So what are some of your goalsthat I can help you with me?
you were talking about me, so Iwant to find out what some of
the goals that that I can helpyou out with too well, I'm
taking these class.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
Well I I'm a procrastinator when it comes
down to taking to school anddoing assignments and getting
things done.
I like to wait till thedeadline, till two days before
the deadline.
So if you could really help meto stay on task, and finish this
certification and this renewalfor my directors.
(47:14):
If I can get you to say, comeon, babe, because you know me,
I'll come home from work and getin the bed and stay in the bed.
Stay in the bed.
I'm actually at a February.
My certification is February.
My credentials expire.
Speaker 1 (47:32):
Oh.
Speaker 2 (47:33):
But I've registered for the class in September.
Speaker 1 (47:37):
Okay, all right.
Okay, when do you want thisdone?
When do you have that?
Speaker 2 (47:43):
Well, I was going to do it for Thanksgiving, but your
wonderful self and yourchildren decided that I needed
to cook.
So that took that week for megoing to the grocery store,
getting everything together.
So I couldn't do it then and Iwas thinking about doing it for
Christmas.
But I got to go see my mom.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
But can't you, while we're driving, that you do some
of that?
Speaker 2 (48:05):
But who's going to talk to you while you're driving
?
Don't worry about that.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
I got my music going, can't you?
I mean, do you need to have?
I mean, even if you haveinternet, you can, I can hotspot
it.
That's right, you can hotspotit.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
So so you can do that while you well, I didn't tell
you to start giving me a planmaking my vision plain.
I said I need you to encourageme.
You want me to be traveling onthe highway doing homework.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
Yeah, I mean doing the schoolwork.
That's cool, I'm fine with that.
You said you're gonna bereading anyway, you were reading
a book, so why not just readyour school work?
Speaker 2 (48:45):
yeah, so again.
I procrastinate when it comesdown to that.
But you know what?
I was an A B student.
I just waited to the lastminute to get stuff done.
But when I got it done, I gotit done because I prayed and I
asked the Lord to help me out.
Speaker 1 (48:59):
Alright, alright, alright.
I got it done.
I got it done because I prayedand I asked the Lord to help you
out.
Help Jesus, all right, allright, all right, yeah.
All right, so yeah, so yeah, wecan do that, we can do that, we
can do that.
Speaker 2 (49:10):
What Lucille say Jesus is going to talk to him
while he's driving.
Get to work, dog.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
That's it, that's it.
That's it, that's it all.
Right, we're just waiting forsomebody to call.
I mean, if nobody calls in forthe goals, we just want to thank
you for joining us tonight.
We pray that throughout ourtalk tonight, that it helps you
and your spouse to plan for2020s on five and to set goals,
set your vision Right, and Iwant to just make sure I want to
(49:45):
encourage all of the husbandsyou lead on that let's have this
meeting, let's do what we needto do and let's accomplish that
and just be the leader on thatas well.
I just want to encourage all ofthe guys to do that.
If you haven't said, remember,december 31st is right around
the corner too yeah, it is Right.
And you don't want to go intoJanuary one and say, well, we're
(50:07):
going to have the meeting inJanuary.
No, you want to hit the groundrunning in January one.
Right, you want to hit theground running.
This is our goal.
This is what we doing?
Speaker 2 (50:17):
this is what we're doing.
Speaker 1 (50:18):
Yeah, this is what we're doing for 2025, and if you
do that, I guarantee you youhave a better year.
You have a better year in 2025.
If you know you all those otheryears you've been flopping and
flopping at least you havesomething to try to attain, and
then, if you can't attain it,you just hey, next year we're
gonna do it, we're gonna, we'regonna knock this out.
(50:40):
All right, you was gettingready to say something baby,
yeah, I was getting ready to sayit.
Speaker 2 (50:43):
Even if something that's on your goal list falls
short, don't look at it like man.
I failed and I'm just going tothrow in the towel on it.
You know what, go to the nextgoal and come back to that,
because sometimes you have toput things aside and kind of
regroup.
Speaker 1 (50:59):
Right, right right.
Speaker 2 (51:00):
To accomplish it, so it's okay if it don't work out
the first time.
Speaker 1 (51:04):
Go back again.
Speaker 2 (51:06):
Nothing in life is easy.
Right, the things that's goingto benefit you the most are
going to be the things that youwork the hardest to get.
Okay, all right.
Speaker 1 (51:13):
In two weeks it'll be the 30th.
I know we're going to be alittle tired coming back from
South Carolina, Are?
I know we're going to be alittle tired coming back from
South Carolina.
Are we going to be back on?
We're coming back that Sunday.
So I'm thinking, man, we shouldhave our family on for our last
podcast of the year.
Get them kids on and we justtrip out a little bit, We'll see
(51:34):
.
Well, I mean we got to say that.
I mean, are we going to have30th or are we not going to have
the 30th?
Speaker 2 (51:39):
I don't know.
We'll just be coming back intown, right, all right.
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Cool, so we'll send it out if we do.
Okay, all right, but again, wewant you to like and share.
Make comments, please.
Once we're off, you can makethe comments put in comments and
maybe you can make somecomments about what you'd like
to hear next.
Right, you can also go to ApplePodcasts, iheartradio, spotify,
amazon Music, go back toYouTube Music we're everywhere
(52:06):
and support.
All we're asking for is supportto support us, and the more you
listen to it, the better youcan go out and I had fun tonight
.
Speaker 2 (52:17):
What about you?
I love our audience.
We love our audience.
Speaker 1 (52:18):
What about you?
Always, I love our audience,you love our audience, I love
our audience.
Well, we want to just thank youagain for joining us and we
want to say goodnight.
Speaker 2 (52:27):
Goodnight, thank you.
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