October 16, 2025 • 59 mins
The moment you stop asking permission to be yourself, the air changes. That’s the heartbeat of our season finale—a warm, candid journey through fear, faith, boundaries, and the quiet practices that rebuild confidence. I share the gratitude that carried me here (my “Minnie Mies,” my daughter-in-love, my husband’s late-night engineering), the joy of turning 58 with a surprise Atlanta trip and a John B. handshake, and the reminder that every age brings a new stage to shine.
We revisit the season’s big themes—protecting peace, reading red flags, and being honest about what women want—then go deeper into how presentation and purpose align. Not to police style, but to honor dignity and intention. I talk about shrinking in rooms that felt small, learning to celebrate my children without apologizing, finding circles where I can breathe, and anchoring my mornings in prayer, affirmations, music, and a fresh stack of library books. Confidence isn’t magic; it’s a habit.
A live caller opens a rich conversation on imposter syndrome. I trace my path from teen motherhood and shame to a steadier faith that asks, “Why not me?”—and means it. We also hold space for October’s twin spotlights: breast cancer awareness and domestic violence. I share a friend’s loss, celebrate survivors, stress early detection and mobile mammograms, and offer practical steps and resources for leaving abusive situations, especially when fear feels bigger than options. Through it all, the message stays the same: your peace is your power, and your light doesn’t need anyone’s permission.
If this conversation lifted you, pass it to someone who needs courage today. Subscribe, share, and leave a review with one way you’ll shine—without apology—this week.
Watch the live show on Youtube.
Follow us on Facebook & Instagram at @marriageinreallifepodcast
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_03 (00:09):
Hello, hello, hello.
And thank you so much forjoining.
Let's talk about it.
It's been a minute.
And I'm so happy and excited tobe back.
For those of you who don't knowme, my name is Lady P, Boss Lady
C, and I am just elated that youare joining me.
(00:29):
And this is the season finale.
Wow, this has been definitely ajourney.
Let me tell you, it has reallypushed me out of my comfort
zone.
Um, I just don't know.
I if it was something that I hadto think to do on my own, it
never would have happened.
(00:51):
However, I just I'm so gratefulto my Minnie Mies and my
daughter-in-love.
They kind of pushed me towardthis and said, hey, you got
this, where I was thinking, whowould really want to hear what I
have to say?
But you know, God made a way.
So there's always a reason forthe season.
(01:12):
And I'm just grateful to thembecause they really, really
said, no, you could do this.
And I was really skeptical aboutit, but I am so grateful that I
took that leap of faith and Istepped out there and and I did
it.
I also want to thank my babe, myengineer, and mommy's little man
(01:33):
for his support.
You know, um, they get busy, youknow.
He he he that um babe's workfull time and full-time in
ministry as well.
But he takes out his time and hededicated that to helping me get
through um my podcast.
So I appreciate him for that.
And um, yeah, I appreciate youknow, shout out to you, babe.
(01:55):
And and mommy's little man, youknow, he's working full time and
he he has a little one.
Um, and he just he supports me.
So I'm grateful for that.
Um, let's talk about what I'vebeen up to.
Oh my goodness, I've been up toso much.
I recently celebrated my 58thbirthday.
Oh, 58 years.
(02:19):
I was talking to, I believe Iwas talking to my daughter.
I'm not even sure who I wastalking to, but I said to her
something that um my babes hassaid to me in the past.
He said, you know, when you'regrowing up, you be like, I can't
wait to be 10, I can't wait tobe 18, I can't wait to be 21.
But whoever says I can't wait tobe 50 or I can't wait to be 68,
(02:43):
so it is truly a blessing thatGod has spared me and saw fit
for me to see 58 years, and I amforever grateful to him for
that.
So um my babes took me toAtlanta, Georgia for the
weekend.
Um, I had such a great timehanging out with our nephew and
(03:05):
niece and our cousins, um Ty andMelissa and Tyrone, and um, oh
my God, I can't believe and Kim.
I almost forgot Kim's name, andhanging out with Kim.
I had the best time ever.
And of course, you know, I didsome retail therapy.
I was a little rushed on that,but I got a chance to go back to
(03:28):
the mall and complete that.
I had the most, uh it was justan awesome weekend.
And so while there, Huaveysurprised me with uh tickets
that him and the kids pulledtogether, kept it a secret from
me.
And um, I went to see John V.
I was so happy.
I'm pretty sure those of you whoknow me have seen the video
(03:50):
floating around Facebook abouthow surprised I was.
I was truly surprised.
And usually he can't keepanything from me, but I do have
a few of the kids that I know Icould get stuff out of, and I
okay, and I realized that Ihadn't spoken to them, and I
guess they didn't speak to mebecause they didn't want to tell
(04:11):
the secret.
But I was I had such a greattime, and at the end I went and
I put my hands up really high,and he shook my hand.
I was like, yes, yes.
So I have been up to that, and Iwas up to that, and I had such a
wonderful time in Atlanta.
I cannot wait to go back.
You know, I'm a fall wintergirl, so I'm ready to get some
(04:35):
cold so I can bring out theboots and the jacket.
So hopefully we get a chance togo back in the winter time.
Also, we had our first sun, ourfirst Sunday service, which was
amazing.
It was amazing.
Pastor talked about um how welet fear control us and how you
(04:55):
know how when Peter was on theboat and how he stepped out on
the boat and he took his eyesoff God and he began to sink.
Um, so our thing is to keep thefear from coming within us, when
we step out on the boat, we haveto stay focused.
And as long as we keep our eyeon God, he won't let us down.
(05:15):
He'll make sure that we are welltaken care of, that we are never
alone as long as we're focusingon him.
And I know sometimes we gothrough those battles and those
situations where we just get sofrustrated.
However, when we lean on him,his word never fails.
He says he got us, and we haveto believe that he truly has us.
(05:38):
Now, with that being said, goahead and roll that footage, and
then we're gonna get right intoit.
(06:28):
When I started this thispodcast, so I do appreciate
those of you who show up for meevery video.
Um, those who that even justsupport me when they go back and
watch it and they leave theircomments.
So even if you have commentsduring the podcast, we'll also
look at those.
But go back and just kind ofcheck things out or re-listen to
(06:50):
it, that would be great.
Um, make sure you like andshare, like and share.
That helps with the ratings andthat's truly appreciated as
well.
Um, before we get into the topictonight, I just want to remind
you of some of the things thatwe've already had.
We had um don't disturb mypeace.
And when we talked about don'tdisturb our peace, we talked
(07:14):
about boundaries and notallowing people to come in and
just suck up your energy.
Um, that was that was also agood one.
And don't ignore the red flag,that's one of my favorites.
And that one was basically likewhen you see a person the first
time, take them for what theyare the first time.
Do people change?
(07:34):
Yes, people change, but youcan't allow people to walk on
you and step on you while thewhile they're trying to change
because it does something toyou.
So don't ignore the red flags.
Um, another one was what womenwant.
We talked about how we wantsomeone to understand us,
someone to say, you know, notthat I'm always nagging you, but
(07:57):
you have a genuine concern aboutcertain things.
Want somebody we can cuddlewith, we saw somebody that we
can grow old with, not somebodythat we gotta that we're
constantly in conflict with.
Um, and I know a lot of womenwill say, Oh, you know, God sent
me this man, and I know God, Iknow it was from God because I
saw the sign.
(08:17):
It could truly well be it's fromGod.
But remember, what God blesses,it brings no sorrow.
And if you go through some upsand downs, that means God's
gonna be in the midst of it tohelp you out of it in
relationships, in anyrelationship, marriage, brother
and sister, mother, daughter,father, son.
If God is in the midst of it,God's gonna bring you out of it.
(08:38):
Um, for romantic relationships,you know, make if God truly
brought you through to it, he'lldefinitely bring you through it.
But you gotta focus on him andmake sure that he is the one
that made the decision, not you.
Um, we also talked about amodest dress versus sexy dress.
(09:01):
We came to the conclusion of umthe way you dress is the
attention that you draw.
So if you, you know, you want tobe, you want someone that's
gonna be decent, that's gonnasee your heart, not your body,
then you want to dressappropriately.
Not saying that you can't be,that you can't have your sex
(09:22):
your sex appeal because mostwomen have their own sex appeal.
So you just you don't want toovershadow what you're looking
for.
Um, I notice I see in a lot ofthe videos that I watch, I
notice that a lot of men say,oh, she's smash material, but
she ain't wife material, and wedon't want to ever put ourselves
(09:42):
in a situation where we're smashmaterial because God created us
better than that.
You know, so that that was oneof the um, that was a few of the
topics.
I I tried to put them all, but Ionly came up with those two.
And then first one I justactually introduced myself.
I was a little nervous on thatone.
This is my first time being on apodcast without my partner and
(10:05):
crying.
So, but I think I've gottenbetter.
I gotta look at the camera more.
Just a few things that you knowI have to work on for next
season.
So, but I also also lookingforward to next season.
So, um, let's move on to ourtopic.
Our topic for tonight is toshine without apology.
(10:26):
And as I thought about thistopic, I also came to the
conclusion that seemed like allof the topics that we have
discussed within this season wasall about self-care,
self-building yourself up,motivating yourself, and moving
forward.
So, and I wanted to continuethat at the end.
Uh, hopefully, next season we'llhave a little bit more powwows.
(10:49):
Um, also, if you want to callin, this is a live podcast, you
can call in at 754-222-2219.
I would love to hear, you know,your suggestions, your
recommendations, you know,whatever it is that you want to
add to.
I put a script, but if you callin and you want to ask just a
(11:11):
question, hey, you never know.
Someone in the audience might belistening and might have that
same question, or they may evenhave an answer.
So please don't hesitate to callin and ask your questions, or
even if you just want to make asuggestion toward the topic.
So we're talking about let yourlight shine.
Have you ever felt like um, haveyou ever felt like you had to
(11:33):
dim your light down to makeother people feel comfortable?
You know, you hold back, likemaybe you may have an idea on
your job, or you may, you know,maybe have an idea for a get
together for a girls event, butbecause you know you got certain
body language from people, youjust started to pull yourself
back.
(11:53):
Well, I'm here to let you knowthat you do not have to
apologize and you didn't have tostep yourself back from where
God has called you to shine.
You do not have to apologize forbeing who you are, you have to
own your own uniqueness,whatever it may be.
You have to own it because ifyou allow somebody to drain it
(12:13):
from you, then you're not reallydoing that purpose that you were
called to do.
And it don't have to besomething that's in, it don't
have to be something that's inthe church, or it could be just
something that you feelcompassionate about that you
allow somebody to pull that fromyou.
Let your light shine, be uniquein your own way, don't dim
(12:34):
yourself for no one.
I have an example of yeah, don'tgive them your light for no one.
Remember, we're not letting themdisturb our peace.
We we we we getting what we wantas women, so we gotta make sure
our our peace is intact, our ourour soul is intact.
Um, let me share this with you.
(12:55):
I had um I would be in thepresence of other women, and and
I'm so proud of my children forgoing to college and getting um
getting their degrees, and thenfor me, it was like, hey, get
your bachelor's, you're good togo.
No, my kids went to a father'sstep.
So I was really proud of them.
So whenever I was in the midstof other women and they were
(13:16):
talking about their children,and I would bring up my kids.
Well, you know, my daughter wentto Spelman, my daughter went to
UCF, my baby was all over there.
I started feeling some sort ofway.
So I was like, well, maybe I'mtalking about that too much.
Maybe um, maybe they feel likeI'm bragging, but I wasn't
really black bragging becauseafter everything I say, but it
was God that carried themthrough.
(13:38):
Because when we have no money,we have the money to get them
through, but God, and I think itwas more like a testimony seeing
how they continued theirstudies, and and I prayed and I
asked God to continue to, youknow, to cover them and protect
them.
Because at the time, dad and I,we barely could keep a roof over
(13:59):
our head, so we couldn't reallyhelp like we wanted to, but they
made it through.
So those conversations that I'llbe having, I started seeing,
like, hey, you know, here shegoes talking about that again.
That was the impression that Iwas getting.
Maybe that's not what they werefeeling, but I'm a big reader of
body language.
I read it, I read it, and I feltsome sort of way.
(14:21):
So then in order to be part ofthat group, I start just kind of
shutting down and laughing, youknow, letting them talk and not
say how I felt because I feltlike, you know, I wasn't really
trying to let my light shine,but I was just trying to let
them know that through God,anything is possible.
But they were shutting me down.
(14:42):
So I kind of just kind of feltreally small.
So I just, you know, kind ofstayed back.
And for a long time, that's howI was.
I'm in these relationships withthese, in these communicating
relationships with these women,but I can't really express how
I'm feeling pretty much aboutanything.
I um I also had a situationwhere I would tell somebody,
(15:05):
well, being a military wife,this is how that was done when
my husband was active duty.
And it was considered that shethinks she knows everything.
So again, I backed out, and Ididn't say anything, but let me
tell you something.
Anybody that's been throughsomething and I gotta and I'm
going down that road, please letme know.
(15:26):
I don't want to, if I can't, ifI kind of if I can avoid falling
in a ditch from your experience,please tell me what's gonna
happen, what to look for, how togo around it.
So we find ourselves shuttingdown our own self to make other
people feel good aboutthemselves.
(15:46):
All the while you just trying tofit in.
But why?
Why own your own uniqueness, nomatter what it is, own it.
Don't get caught up inself-doubt.
Like, I, you know, it's anothertime I was with these ladies,
they were all collegegraduating, and I didn't
graduate from college, so I feltkind of like maybe I don't want
(16:10):
to say anything because I don'twant to sound stupid or I don't
want to do this, but they keptasking my opinion.
And I kept saying, no, maybe youget him, but they kept asking my
opinion.
I realized then that it doesn'tmatter what type of educational
background I have, I have alight that God has given me and
I'm gonna let it shine.
And if you have a problem withthat, then move out of the way
(16:30):
because I'm not gonna stand inthe shadows, I'm not gonna stand
behind in the shadows and hidewho I am to make you feel good.
That's just not gonna happen.
You know, so that was one of thethings, you know, just keep, you
know, keep reminding yourselfand encouraging yourself that
you are who God called you to bein whatever capacity it may be
(16:52):
at work, it may be involunteering, it may be at
church, whatever, whatever youfeel compassionate about, shine
like a diamond, a big, beautifuldiamond, because God has not
given you the spirit of fear,and you should never let anyone
encourage you or make you feelfear because of who you are.
(17:16):
That's not that that's crazy.
Continue to set boundaries withpeople.
You have to walk in yourpurpose, and people will take
that from you.
Remember, we talked about don'tum don't disturb my peace.
That's a whole that's a bigthing with setting boundaries
with people.
Because if you don't setboundaries, they'll walk on you,
they'll trample you, like I saidbefore.
(17:38):
Your energy, your peace is yourpower.
We talked about that.
Your peace is your power.
Hold on to that with everythingthat you have.
Nobody deserves to take yourpeace, it belongs to you and no
one else.
And if you decide you want togive it to somebody, that's
totally up to you.
But hold on to that.
Don't even, don't even yourtime, your energy.
(18:00):
I we talked about um self-care.
We did talk about self-care.
What have you been doing forself-care?
Have you been taking that bubblebath?
Have you been lighting thatcandle?
Have you been reading your word?
Have you found a good book toread?
As a matter of fact, I just gota new library card.
So I'm gonna be uh I'm gonna begoing to the library and getting
me some of these books and justread, you know, just that's that
(18:23):
that's it's in educatingyourself.
It could be a cookbook, whateveryour fancy is.
You might want to learn a newrecipe.
I know my um, I know my godson'smom.
She's always posting recipes, soI know she's big on cooking.
Go get something.
Get something that's gonna giveyou some, boost you up.
(18:43):
Yeah, boost you up.
Your time, your energy, and yourpeace is important.
So hold on to it with everythingyou have.
Walk in your purpose, whateveryour purpose may be, walk in
your purpose.
You know, reflect on how theclarity of your purpose brings
you confidence.
When you walk in your purpose ofwho you are, you build your own
(19:05):
confidence.
You don't need anyone to pat youon your back and tell you, oh,
you're doing good, you're doinggood.
Nothing's wrong with beingpraised.
Everybody wants to be praisedand everybody would like to hear
it, but you got to be able topraise yourself, you got to be
able to lift your own self up.
In the Bible, David encouragedhimself.
I used to wonder what that meansthat he encouraged himself.
(19:26):
But when I started looking inthe mirror every morning and
saying, you look a mess, butyou're beautiful.
Uh, we got something to dotoday, so let's get it started.
And that's just kind of how howit went.
I just began to tell myself allthe time how pretty I was.
You know, I not that I'm stuckup and I think I'm all that
(19:48):
because God knows I don't.
But if I don't encourage me, howI'm gonna step outside that door
and face the world who mostlikely is not gonna encourage
me.
Between me and my husband,morning prayer, when I step out
the door, I'm ready to do it.
So basically, you have to walkin your purpose, you have to
build your own confidence up inyourself.
(20:10):
You do the things that light youup.
If you like to dance, turn onsome music and dance.
You don't have to be at the clubto get down, you can turn off
some music and get down right inyour living room.
I do sometimes I be in thekitchen.
As a matter of fact, I wasdancing this morning before I
left for work.
And it's so crazy because theday before I could barely lift
(20:30):
my head.
I was like, you know, we wealternate prayer weeks.
So one week I pray in themorning, the next week my
husband prayed in the morning.
But this week he had to praytwice because I just wasn't,
yeah, I just wasn't feeling it.
However, this morning I woke upwith a dance in my heart and a
(20:50):
dancing in my feet.
I prayed while he made coffeeand I head on out the door and
did what I had to do.
I walked in my purpose.
I knew it was something that Ineeded to get done that day.
I got out, I got it done.
I had a great day at work, andI'm back home.
I even took a little nap.
Um I'm actually going throughthese different steps.
(21:15):
So if you guys, if I'm going toofast, stop me.
Um, let me just say, let me readthe chat here.
Hey Nat, my daughter's watchingfrom Chicago.
And um, hey Nikki, um, mydaughter's watching from
Tallahassee.
Um, yeah, right.
Affirmations.
You have to you really, Nikkireally encouraged me about
(21:37):
affirmations.
Nat really taught me how to takedeep belly breaths.
And I can say with just knowingthose two things, I am a better
person than what I was lastyear.
Because I'm learning thateverything doesn't require a
response, you know, and andaffirming myself that this is
what I'm gonna do and this ishow it's gonna get done.
(22:00):
And just encouraging myself isjust amazing.
So I really try to walk in mypurpose every day.
Every it ain't easy every day,but I get on out there and I do
it.
I have gotten to the place whereI'm no longer apologizing for
who I am.
If you can't get with me, that'sfine.
(22:22):
You don't have to dis you don'thave to be disrespectful about
it, you don't have to curse atme about it.
We just we just parted ways.
And it's okay because somepeople just in your life for a
season, in your life to buildyou, that to help build, and
then they go on about theirtheir businesses the same way
with you.
(22:42):
There are some people that Godonly get put in your life for a
season for you to do what hecalled you to do and to move on,
and that's okay, it's nothingwrong with it, but you can't sit
back and apologize every timesomeone feels offended by you
because people are gonna beoffended by you no matter what,
no matter what you say, nomatter how you say it, no matter
(23:03):
what you look like, it's gonnaalways be somebody that's gonna
have an issue with you.
And I used to that used to hurtmy heart so so bad.
So I used to be like, well, whatdid I do?
Why this person just don't likeme?
I didn't do nothing to them, youknow.
But sometimes it just happened.
I just had an accident, uhsituation that happened at work
(23:24):
yesterday.
Um, one of the moms, um, shesaid she didn't like me.
It was puzzling because she'sthe one that I had been texting
for the last three days and backand forth, back and forth, and I
can understand.
So finally I just went, I say,we have a problem.
And she said, Yeah, I don't likeyou.
And I say, Why?
(23:45):
And she says, Well, rememberthat meeting we was in?
I've never been in a meetingwith you.
Well, yeah, we was at theprincipal's office, we was in
the conference room.
I was like, No, not me.
I've never been in a meetingwith you.
She was like, Oh my goodness,no, it's not you.
And I was like, you know what?
(24:05):
If I hadn't gone to her, wewould have spent now, mind you,
I'm holding her baby, her babyis kissing and loving all on me,
and she looking at me, rollingher eyes, like if I hadn't gone
to her and said, Hey, you sheactually had me mixed up with
someone else.
But, you know, but just had Inot said anything, me and this
lady would have gone to wholeschool year not speaking, where
(24:27):
I am taking care of your kid.
Well, I'm overseeing your kid,but I do go in there and snuggle
with the babies and take napssometimes.
So, um, if they'll let me.
But I'm not gonna apologize forwho I am because what God has
given me, it has to, it has tobe done.
I have to shine, I have to dowhat he says, I have to live on
(24:50):
purpose.
And regardless of who don't likeit, that's a personal problem.
That's your problem and God'sproblem.
That's not my problem.
So when you find yourself insituations where people just
don't like you just because it'snot your problem, it's their
problem, it's their problem, andthey can deal with God with it
because what God has what Godhas given you, no man can take
(25:11):
it from you.
And that's your peace, your joy,you know, your love.
Nobody can take that from you.
I know it's a song that we sangwhen we were little, this joy
that I have, the world can'thave it, and the world can't
take it away.
That's exactly how we have tobe.
We can't allow anyone to step onus, ruin our dreams, ruin us,
and have us walking around withour head in the clouds while
(25:33):
they're sitting in a huddle withthe next people talking about
what they just did to you.
We can't do that.
We cannot do that.
We have to stay rooted, we haveto stay positive, we can't
apologize for just being who weare.
Stay rooted, stay spiritual.
(25:53):
If you have a relation to God,try not to lean to your own
understanding.
Trust me, it's not gonna get younowhere.
But when you put God in and youlet God, you know, in Matthew 5
and 16, it says, let your lightshine.
And I can understand why, out ofall the things when he says, let
your light shine.
And then it dawned on methroughout your life, it's gonna
(26:15):
be stages and ages until you get100 if you make it that far.
And in every age, in everystage, it's gonna be a reason
for you to shine.
And you get out there and youshine.
I was so skeptical about goingback to college at 58, but here
I am trying to get myselftogether and get right back out
(26:36):
there because I'm at an age andI'm at a stage that it's time
for me to shine yet again.
So we go through it every hour,you know, every few years, it's
a different stage, it's adifferent age, and it's time for
you to shine.
So let your light shine anddon't be ashamed of it.
Your light should be able tohelp you lift up other people.
(26:57):
Your light should be able tohelp you lift yourself up, and
your light should be able tohelp you pat yourself on the
back and say, job well done,Patsy, you did that, you know.
So I'm like, Yeah, you got it.
You have to stay with it.
And if you can, if you have, I'mnot, if you have a relationship
with the Lord God Almighty, Heis awesome.
(27:19):
I'm I don't mean to preach toyou today or to to bring the
Lord into it, but when I lookback and I see things, when I
when I look back, as a matter offact, went to a uh a viewing
last weekend and I said, Wow,this could have easily been me.
It could have easily been anyone of us, but God saw fit for
(27:40):
us to stay on the grind, hang inthere, and and and do what we're
called to do.
So I was just forever like, Iwas like, wow, um, God is
definitely calling his peoplehome.
Um, but so far I'm not on the onthe on the call list.
So I'm thankful for that.
(28:02):
I have a uh, oh hey Melissa,it's my cousin from Atlanta.
Hey girl, hey, meditation,affirmation, and prayer.
Also, what you think of me isnone of my business.
If it's rooted in negative,negative energy.
That is so true.
What I had to get to that point,and I tell my daughters all the
(28:23):
time, I used to be so concernedabout other people think, how
other people felt, that I usedto literally make myself sick
about it.
And one day I woke up, I think Iturned 40, it was my birthday,
and I said, I can't, I donespent 40 years with this
concern.
I can no longer give them thattype of energy and that type of
(28:46):
power to damage me.
So I said, you know what?
If you're not paying any bills,credit cards, mortgage, car
payment, any of that, I can'tallow you to have that energy.
Now, once you start paying thatstuff, then I owe you an
explanation.
But as I'm not, as if you'renot, then I don't.
So I just have to let it go, youknow.
(29:09):
And sometimes it's so crazybecause it'd be the people the
closest to you that makes youfeel diverse.
And that's okay.
Um, hi Jackie Griffith Anderson.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
Where are you joining us from?
If you don't mind typing in, Iknow we got Chicago,
Tallahassee, and Atlanta on theline.
I would love to know whereyou're where you were from.
(29:32):
So yeah, and another thing too,surround yourself with
like-minded people.
I like I said, I went and Ivisited with my my cousin and
her husband and my niece andnephew um this this um past
weekend.
(29:53):
And I felt so comfortable.
I literally could let my hairdown because when you're a
pastor's Wife, people put somany standards on you, like you
gotta this and you gotta be likethat, and you gotta be like
that.
But when I was sitting in thepresence of them, I felt so
comfortable.
You know, I felt good in myskin.
(30:15):
I felt like I was in thepresence of like-minded people,
light barriers.
The light just shined on them,which made it so easy to be
accepted and feel comfortable inboth their homes.
I was just like, I felt like Iwas in my own living room, and
that and and that was so good toum to be accepted, not judged
(30:38):
and comfortable.
I mean, even my cousin dog gotup and let me cuddle up with
her.
So, you know, like-minded peopleare very important people.
Uh, okay, West Palm Beach in thehouse.
Thanks, Miss Jackie.
Oh, I see sexy girl C is in it.
Hey, Cindy, how you doing?
Um, so we were talking about um,what were we talking about?
(31:01):
What about topic?
Not apologizing for shine foryour light.
No apology.
We just let your light shine.
No, no, first lady, come on.
Just let your light shine.
You don't have to apologize forit.
That was the topic.
But now, if anybody wants tocall in, please call in
754-222-2219.
(31:25):
And like I said, I just broughta topic, but if it's anything
that you want to just kind ofthrow out there, even if you
want to type it in, um, say,hey, I've been thinking, I've
been going through this, what doyou think about that?
You never know somebody may beable to answer your question,
and other than myself, and andI'm okay with that because
believe it or not, I'm herelearning as well as um I'm
(31:49):
encouraging.
I think the whole point of thiswas just to build to um
encourage and empower women andbuild us, build them up and let
them know that you know what,this world cannot can't, this
world cannot revolve without us.
We are in it and we're in thisstate from the beginning of the
time.
And it's just a few littlethings that we like to tweak
because we don't want to bestuck on, we want to be heard,
(32:11):
we want to be recognized becausein the at the end of the day, we
as women, we do that.
We recognize, we appreciate, weshow praise, we nurture.
It's a it's a never-ending dose.
So we want to be treated asjust.
So I think the whole process ofthis actual podcast was to just
kind of really empower you.
(32:32):
And by doing research and stuff,I'm really learning.
I'm really learning a lot.
So yeah.
So just surround yourself withpeople that that's you know,
that's gonna be light bearers,people that their their light is
shining just as bright as yours.
Yeah, that part.
Um, so God is giving God is allGod is also giving you skills
(32:59):
and talents and beauty, and andhe shine his light on you daily.
So when someone passed by youand they just be like, well, hey
there, and you you can yourbrain could be somewhere else,
but that person said, there'sjust something about you.
It's something that there'ssomething that's on you that may
because everybody don't speakwhen they pass you, but some
(33:20):
people they'll just come out ofthere and be like, hey, that's
something about you.
Like, I need to know more aboutyou.
I need to know more about thatlight that you have, that light
that's shining also bright.
That light that God places onyou every day.
So walk in your purpose.
Don't apologize for your foryour shine.
(33:42):
Let your light shine.
Stay rooted in God.
Surround yourself with people,with good people.
You know, I think we talkedabout owning your uniqueness,
whatever is unique about you,own that and let it shine.
Where you don't have to berunning through the neighborhood
with a flag saying, hey, I'mwonderful.
No, you don't have to, becausepeople see that.
(34:04):
God will definitely show people,they'll they'll they'll be able
to point that out in you.
You won't even have to sayanything.
Don't stay quiet.
If you have a circle of peoplethat you're with and you gotta
dim your light so they canshine, that's the wrong circle.
Find your new circle, find yournew circle because there is no
(34:26):
way that you should have to umshut yourself down to make
someone else feel good when youshould be in it together.
We should, I know I had saw uhan affirmation about don't um
when your sister's crown iscrooked, don't talk about it,
lean over and adjust it becauseyou never know when she might
(34:47):
have to adjust yours.
So it's important for us to kindof stick together, it's
important for us to kind ofencourage each other and and
stay focused on what our purposeis and what God has called us to
do, which is really, reallyimportant that we would stay um
rooted and grounded in what Godhas called us to do.
(35:09):
And whatever it is you you do,if you do basket weaving, do it
with the greatest ability thatyou can and smile while you're
at whistle while you work.
You know that song, whistlewhile you work.
Do what you have to do to keepyour mindset clear.
Because again, people willdefinitely try and pull it from
(35:33):
you.
Yeah, so it's something to go tothe chat.
Um, Melissa says, I'm from theSouth, so I speak to everybody.
You can imagine the stairs Ican't.
Yeah, and me too.
I'm like that.
Where about you look and youlive in uh in Atlanta, so I can
only imagine when you're walkingby saying, Hey, people looking
(35:54):
at you like, what is wrong withher?
You know, but that's just how weare, and that's how we was also
raised, too.
You don't walk into a room andnot speak to people, you don't
make eye contact with a person,walk right past them.
If you're gonna make eyecontact, say hello or hi, how
you doing?
It's just rude.
I think it's rude.
Um, so and and I'll be like, oh,or I'll pass, I'll say hey, and
(36:18):
they don't say nothing.
I was like, oh, wait a minute,did I say hey, or was that just
in my head?
And I keep on walking, let themknow that I did say hello and
you didn't respond back, butmaybe it was me, not you.
Take ownership and keep itmoving.
Yeah.
So that's pretty much how we umthat's pretty much what I have
on letting up Shine WithoutApology.
(36:40):
And I'm really happy that I thatthis came up.
I have definitely been seekingthe Lord's advice on everything
that I come on the podcast anddo.
Also, I do call the girls andask them for suggestions.
And they um they came up quite afew um that I didn't get to it
all in this setting, but Idefinitely will um tag some of
(37:01):
them in the next one.
Um, so you know, just know thatshining um without apology means
that you're just owning yourworth and you're walking in your
purpose and letting your lightshine so that others may see
that you know that's what youhave.
That's what you you got a lightto shine and you gotta let it
(37:22):
shine.
Um, Natalie said in the content,have you had any challenges with
imposter syndrome and how didyou overcome it?
Imposter syndrome, what is that?
I never heard of that.
Please expound so I can answerthat.
(37:47):
Imposter syndrome.
I guess being oh my light menow.
I guess being someone thatyou're not right, Natalie?
Pretending to be somebody thatyou're not.
I'm gonna wait for her toexplain it to me, then I'll
answer that.
(38:07):
I think I'm in the right time.
But she can call in and at754-222-2219, ask that question.
Um so just remember that lettingyour light shine uh means you
don't have to hide it, you don'thave to shrink it.
You can shine bright like adiamond without apology.
(38:32):
So yeah, that would that wouldbe it.
But I also want to bring to yourattention before we before we
shut out that this month isbreast cancer and domestic
violence awareness month.
Okay, um, so I have a video foryou.
(38:53):
I literally forgot about thatvideo.
Let's play the first video,babe, and that way we can get in
that time to um to let me know.
SPEAKER_02 (39:08):
You can't step into your destiny tiptoeing around
with other people's opinions.
I want to share a story or ananalogy the other day.
It's fiction, but it reallystuck with me.
It's a story of a peacock whospent his days around other
smaller birds, pigeons and othersmaller birds.
And the peacock realized thatits feathers were brighter and
bigger than the other birds.
(39:28):
And so the peacock kept itsfeathers tucked in and tried to
keep them down, thinking, whatwill the other birds think?
Well, they think I'm doing toomuch.
And the more that peaco kept itsfeathers tucked in and down, the
weaker they got and the dullerthe colors got.
Until another, one day anotherpeacock came by and said to that
timid peacock, why are youhiding what was meant to shine?
(39:48):
Why are you hiding what wasmeant to be seen by the world?
And something shifted insidethat timid peacock and it opened
its feathers and saw colors ithad never even seen before.
And the peacock realized itdidn't need permission from the
other birds to shine.
We have a greatness or adestination that we're trying to
get to.
We will never get there if wekeep tiptoeing around other
(40:11):
people's opinions.
SPEAKER_03 (40:18):
I like that video because sometimes as women, we
will, like I was saying earlier,how I just kind of shut myself
down to actually to avoid whatpeople was gonna think about me.
Um, what people's gonna thinkabout me before I just kind of
do it in.
It took me a minute, 10 yearslater.
(40:39):
I'm 40 years old, and I finallysaid, I'm not done, I'm not
doing this anymore.
Oh my god, this is too much.
Okay, I want to just give ashout out to Miss Terry Aponte
in Wisconsin.
Thank you for joining us.
I think I have a caller on theline.
Hello, hello.
SPEAKER_04 (41:03):
What people try to think about me.
Um, hi Hello, so this is this isMatt.
I wanted to um clarify whatimposter syndrome was.
(41:27):
Um can you hear me?
Yes, I can.
Thank you for calling.
Okay, great.
Yeah, so imposter syndrome islike the feeling of an adequacy,
inadequacy, and your skill in umyour accomplishments.
So the feeling of not thefeeling of that that you're not
(41:53):
worthy of like the praise andadmiration, whether it's through
your uh for your job or it's fora particular um skill that you
have.
So that's what I wanted to know.
Like, did you have you ever feltthat?
And how did you overcome it?
SPEAKER_03 (42:13):
Um I felt I've you know, my I was pregnant at 14.
And I felt I felt like I wasworthless, that I was never
gonna move forward in life, thatit was just, you know, and the
(42:37):
adults was like, oh yeah, she'sabout to have about 15 children.
So I didn't have thatencouragement.
And I felt I just really feltless of a person because you
know, I was a teenage mom and Iwasn't ever gonna get married, I
wasn't ever gonna have anything,I was gonna be on public
assistance for the rest of mylife, me and my children, then
(42:58):
my children was gonna be on it.
So I really felt down, you know,about that.
And no matter how much I did toget myself out of it, I just
didn't feel like I was worthy.
So it took me a minute to get tothe point that, you know, yeah,
yes, you are.
It took a long time, but as Igot older and I started seeing
(43:21):
things change and thinkmotivation and different things
going and happening in my life,I was able to honestly go to God
with that.
I would I would punish myself,self-guilt.
I I was never enough for me.
Like, I I was never enough forme.
(43:42):
So it wasn't until I really justput it all in God's hand because
I was starting to get tormentingmyself with uh you got three
kids, you're 20 years old, yougot this, you're, you know,
you're 21.
You you're not gonna, you'retrying to go to school, but
you're trying to do daycare,you're trying to do this.
You know, it was just a lot onme being a single parent.
(44:03):
I really felt that I wasn'tworthy.
And it took my relationship withGod to kind of pull me out of
there.
Although I did end up getting, Idid get married.
However, I um I still had togrow in that because even then I
didn't feel like like I was, youknow, like myself worth that
(44:24):
just wasn't worthy.
Like, why did this person marryme?
He wants something from me,that's why he married me.
He didn't marry me because heloved me.
It was a self-torture.
And now I'm I now I have like Ihave a therapist that I haven't
visited in about three years,but I do need to do that.
But I know that I can go andtalk to someone about it to get
(44:47):
me to that next point.
It definitely was a challenge,and it took me a long time to
overcome it.
But if I had to put, if I had toput two and two together, it
I'll have to say that I had tocompletely and totally give that
to God.
Because every time I gave it tosomeone else to help me out, I
ended up with it back.
(45:08):
Now I'm adding on it.
Now it's like an onion, layersand layers and layers and
layers.
Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_04 (45:16):
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Um, yeah, I think a lot ofpeople feel that when they're
young and they make a mistake,that it's kind of like all over.
And when they are, when theymake it through, they feel like
that like that they are notdeserving of you know the the
(45:38):
type of things they have or thethings they they get when they
get out of it, or um, and so Ijust wanted to know like that.
I think it was really it'sreally interesting your your uh
view on on that.
Um and you know, not only that,it's also forgiving yourself for
(46:00):
making a mistake.
It's also very hard to do for alot of people.
And when you I think once all ofthat is like kind of taken care
of and you're talking in itstalk through and you do give it
to God, um, then that's likewhen your light can shine, I
(46:21):
guess, the the most, becauseyou're that confident, and I'm
here because I'm worth it, andum I I'm living the life that I
have because I'm worth it, and Ihave these skill sets because
I'm worth it.
So um thank you so much for yourum your view on that.
SPEAKER_03 (46:41):
You're welcome.
And also, you know, look at itthis way it if you don't
deserve, why not?
Why don't you deserve it?
You do, then who?
Why not you?
Why not you?
You deserve it, you deserveevery blessing that God lays at
your feet, every blessing, everydoor, every window, everything
(47:02):
that God does for you, everyopportunity that you get, you
deserve it.
And that's how we have to lookat it.
If not you, then who?
Your sister, your mom, your bestfriend, your neighbor, why not
you?
And that's how we have to lookat things.
(47:24):
Because God don't bless no mess,so you gotta be doing something
right, right?
Right.
All right, well, thank you somuch for calling in, my love.
I appreciate you.
SPEAKER_04 (47:38):
Thank you for your um your view on this.
I really appreciate it.
And congratulations on theseason or season finale.
Yay, thank you.
SPEAKER_03 (47:52):
Bye.
If anyone else wants to call in,or if anyone wants to um maybe
add to what I said and encourageher, that would be great.
Um, other than that, let me justget back to, I think I kind of
jumped over breast cancerawareness.
Um, my dear friend um DonnaFerguson passed away from breast
(48:13):
cancer.
Who I want to say, was it 2020or 2019?
I think it was 2019.
Um, and although she had gone inand had had uh a mammogram in
October, she found out she hadstage four cancer, uh breast
cancer in February, went intoremission, but soon later um she
(48:35):
passed away.
So it's so important, ladies.
Um, you know, the youngestperson that have died from
breast cancer was 19 years old,so you don't have to be old.
You don't have to be old.
It happens to all of us.
So, you know, they have thesefree mobile mobiles out here.
Go um get it taken care of, makesure you're good to go.
(48:57):
We also had a young lady fromour school that I work with that
went in that had never gone, andthat first time she went, breast
cancer.
So I have a I do, you know, umit's a pet peeve.
I used to have a tea party um inthe month of October.
I need to get back to that, um,just life.
(49:19):
But yeah, be be vigilant, getout there, get it tested, get
checked, because they do now,they're doing a lot more with
early detection these days.
So please don't hesitate.
You know, especially for womenof color, uh, get out there
because we're at a higher rate.
Us Indian and Hispanic is at ahigher rate than our Caucasian
(49:43):
sisters.
So get out there, get it done,ladies.
Don't hesitate.
I know it's scary, I know it'snervous, but what's the worst
part is if you don't know, youcan't do anything about
something that you don't know.
So if you go and you get testedand you don't have to do
anything, awesome.
That's a great blessing.
(50:03):
Also, if you go and you getsomething detected, guess what?
That's a blessing too, becauseyou got it first.
You went out there and you gotit done.
Um, Terry says that her mom hadbreast cancer and she survived
that by the grace of God.
Praise God, praise God, thankGod.
(50:24):
You know, and Natalie saymammograms are required at age
40.
Well, it's changing, they'llstart to get you out of there
early, early in now, especiallyif you have any breast cancer in
your family.
So let's say you had yourmother's sister may have had
breast cancer and you're 18.
They'll start testing you from18 and they'll test you every
(50:47):
three years, just so becauseit's in your family.
But if you're not in yourfamily, then I think 40 is
definitely the age that they umcall you in to be checked, but
it's it's true.
Go do it as much as you hate todo it, it's not as uncomfortable
as you think it is.
It used to be reallyuncomfortable.
(51:08):
Women used to be like, I'm notgoing, I'm not going, because
they're gonna flap me to apancake.
They don't do that anymore.
Technology has improved, as amatter of fact, they have a
theme that goes around yourwhole body, and you don't even
and you're just standing there.
So definitely get that get thattaken care of.
Um, domestic violence.
(51:28):
Domestic violence is my petpeeve because I am a survivor of
that.
Um, if you know someone that'sbeing abused emotionally,
mentally, physically, um, thescars that we don't see, the
mental ones that we don't see.
(51:49):
If you see your your sister, umjust if you you notice she was
shining bright and all of asudden she shining no more, go
talk to her.
Is everything okay?
You know, uh, you know, oh, youknow, and just hear because
sometimes they just wantsomebody to listen.
And we're not therapists, so youknow, being a person that hid
(52:12):
scars and hid bruises and hid uhbloody eyes and stuff like that,
I can pretty much pick up on thebody language of someone that's
going through something.
I don't I don't go out lookingfor stuff like that, but if I
see somebody that all of asudden their light is dimming,
and it could be, it don't haveto be from a male, it could be
(52:36):
from a female, it could be froma family member, it could be
anybody.
Domestic violence don't onlyhold with men.
You know, some women beat men.
Domestic violence can be abrother against a sister, it can
be in the household, you know.
So if you know anybody, youknow, make make sure you get
them to the right person so thatthey can get some help.
(52:57):
I know here in Broward we havewomen in distress, we have kids
in distress.
If you know somebody, I know theshelters are quite full these
days, but when somebody's in aviolent situation, they go to
the top of the list becausethey'll feel like they don't
have anyone on their side andthey don't know what to do.
So if you know someone, andthat's pretty much throughout
(53:18):
the United States, anyone that'sin a domestic violence
situation, they go right to thetop of the list.
Anybody with children, right tothe top of the list.
So um, and sometimes that listcan be pretty long and they may
have to wait a minute, but theygot to get the help that they
need because at the end of theday, running away is better than
death.
(53:38):
And sometimes it ends in death,and it's not it's not fair, it's
not cool, and they get scaredand they get afraid to tell
people because they're afraid ofthe abuser.
Um in my situation, my abuserwas a police officer, so who do
I go to?
(53:59):
It was it was serious, it wasserious, but by the grace of
God, I I I the Lord saw fit forme.
He had a whole nother plan forme, a plan that I had no clue
to.
You know, they say when you makeyour own plans, God laughs at
you.
And um, so it was it wasdifficult to get out, but God
(54:21):
opened a door and a window, andI was able to get out.
Um, Miss Terry says, alsoregarding domestic violence, get
away.
Tell somebody to seek, um, tellsomeone to seek help.
You do not have to deal withthat a lot, absolutely.
And again, it's not as easy toseek help as people think it is.
(54:42):
You think that you can just upand go.
But if you've been threatening,your child's life has been
threatened, it's difficult toget up and go.
But there are ways that youcould plan, have your plan of
attack, you know, and you canget on out and start copying and
and and start copying passportsand birth certificates and
putting them outside, bury themin the ground, because when you
(55:04):
go, you gotta go, you may haveto leave everything.
But don't be afraid, there is umhelp out there for you, and you
have to take that step, right?
So that that was that that'sthat uh domestic violence is
really uh a pet peeve for me.
(55:26):
It's just really dear to me, andum, so sometimes I get a little
choked up, even after all theseyears, and it's been years, like
almost 35.
Wait a minute, it's been almostalmost 40 years, almost 40 years
since that experience.
So imagine for someone who hasonly been five years or two
(55:49):
years, so it's still a littlefresh, but I mean it still
reminds me of letting andencourage people to get away.
You gotta get away, and and andyou gotta get some help, you
just do right.
Okay, so we're gonna go aheadand wrap this up.
Uh, we have one more video.
(56:10):
Can we roll that video?
SPEAKER_00 (56:15):
Hello.
This is the last year of my lifewhere I give my life so other
people can feel comfortable.
I'm not bougie, I'm notarrogant, I'm not sucked up.
But if my life was in you,that's between you and the life
given.
(56:36):
Your life.
If you ain't comfortable aroundme, I'm a new friend.
But I'm doing acting like I amnot who I am.
So you can be comfortable withwho you like before yourself.
You are the home.
What the matter for if you knewlike my new you would hold close
(56:59):
before me.
I don't know what it is.
When I ask your question, why doyou know about my life?
When I told you it was just alittle light.
What you gonna do?
When God really threw me up thisyear, I don't care how God my
(57:24):
family used to be when I throwup this family throwing the
light on.
I don't get ready to break everygenerational person, every
generational life, but we don'thave no money before me.
We don't have it after me.
Be who God calls you to be.
SPEAKER_03 (58:01):
Hang in there, do what makes you happy.
Don't dim your light for anyone.
Your light is meant to be seen.
Don't hide it, don't shrink it,shine without apology.
And with that being said, we'regonna tune off, and I'll see you
guys next season.
(58:22):
Thank you, thank you, thank youagain for joining me.
My heart goes out.
I will keep you all in myprayers.
Again, thank you, and I loveyou.
Hello, hello, hello.
And thank you so much forjoining.
Let's talk about it.
It's been a minute.
And I'm so happy and excited tobe back.
For those of you who don't knowme, my name is Lady P, Boss Lady
C, and I am just elated that youare joining me.
(00:29):
And this is the season finale.
Wow, this has been definitely ajourney.
Let me tell you, it has reallypushed me out of my comfort
zone.
Um, I just don't know.
I if it was something that I hadto think to do on my own, it
never would have happened.
(00:51):
However, I just I'm so gratefulto my Minnie Mies and my
daughter-in-love.
They kind of pushed me towardthis and said, hey, you got
this, where I was thinking, whowould really want to hear what I
have to say?
But you know, God made a way.
So there's always a reason forthe season.
(01:12):
And I'm just grateful to thembecause they really, really
said, no, you could do this.
And I was really skeptical aboutit, but I am so grateful that I
took that leap of faith and Istepped out there and and I did
it.
I also want to thank my babe, myengineer, and mommy's little man
(01:33):
for his support.
You know, um, they get busy, youknow.
He he he that um babe's workfull time and full-time in
ministry as well.
But he takes out his time and hededicated that to helping me get
through um my podcast.
So I appreciate him for that.
And um, yeah, I appreciate youknow, shout out to you, babe.
(01:55):
And and mommy's little man, youknow, he's working full time and
he he has a little one.
Um, and he just he supports me.
So I'm grateful for that.
Um, let's talk about what I'vebeen up to.
Oh my goodness, I've been up toso much.
I recently celebrated my 58thbirthday.
Oh, 58 years.
(02:19):
I was talking to, I believe Iwas talking to my daughter.
I'm not even sure who I wastalking to, but I said to her
something that um my babes hassaid to me in the past.
He said, you know, when you'regrowing up, you be like, I can't
wait to be 10, I can't wait tobe 18, I can't wait to be 21.
But whoever says I can't wait tobe 50 or I can't wait to be 68,
(02:43):
so it is truly a blessing thatGod has spared me and saw fit
for me to see 58 years, and I amforever grateful to him for
that.
So um my babes took me toAtlanta, Georgia for the
weekend.
Um, I had such a great timehanging out with our nephew and
(03:05):
niece and our cousins, um Ty andMelissa and Tyrone, and um, oh
my God, I can't believe and Kim.
I almost forgot Kim's name, andhanging out with Kim.
I had the best time ever.
And of course, you know, I didsome retail therapy.
I was a little rushed on that,but I got a chance to go back to
(03:28):
the mall and complete that.
I had the most, uh it was justan awesome weekend.
And so while there, Huaveysurprised me with uh tickets
that him and the kids pulledtogether, kept it a secret from
me.
And um, I went to see John V.
I was so happy.
I'm pretty sure those of you whoknow me have seen the video
(03:50):
floating around Facebook abouthow surprised I was.
I was truly surprised.
And usually he can't keepanything from me, but I do have
a few of the kids that I know Icould get stuff out of, and I
okay, and I realized that Ihadn't spoken to them, and I
guess they didn't speak to mebecause they didn't want to tell
(04:11):
the secret.
But I was I had such a greattime, and at the end I went and
I put my hands up really high,and he shook my hand.
I was like, yes, yes.
So I have been up to that, and Iwas up to that, and I had such a
wonderful time in Atlanta.
I cannot wait to go back.
You know, I'm a fall wintergirl, so I'm ready to get some
(04:35):
cold so I can bring out theboots and the jacket.
So hopefully we get a chance togo back in the winter time.
Also, we had our first sun, ourfirst Sunday service, which was
amazing.
It was amazing.
Pastor talked about um how welet fear control us and how you
(04:55):
know how when Peter was on theboat and how he stepped out on
the boat and he took his eyesoff God and he began to sink.
Um, so our thing is to keep thefear from coming within us, when
we step out on the boat, we haveto stay focused.
And as long as we keep our eyeon God, he won't let us down.
(05:15):
He'll make sure that we are welltaken care of, that we are never
alone as long as we're focusingon him.
And I know sometimes we gothrough those battles and those
situations where we just get sofrustrated.
However, when we lean on him,his word never fails.
He says he got us, and we haveto believe that he truly has us.
(05:38):
Now, with that being said, goahead and roll that footage, and
then we're gonna get right intoit.
(06:28):
When I started this thispodcast, so I do appreciate
those of you who show up for meevery video.
Um, those who that even justsupport me when they go back and
watch it and they leave theircomments.
So even if you have commentsduring the podcast, we'll also
look at those.
But go back and just kind ofcheck things out or re-listen to
(06:50):
it, that would be great.
Um, make sure you like andshare, like and share.
That helps with the ratings andthat's truly appreciated as
well.
Um, before we get into the topictonight, I just want to remind
you of some of the things thatwe've already had.
We had um don't disturb mypeace.
And when we talked about don'tdisturb our peace, we talked
(07:14):
about boundaries and notallowing people to come in and
just suck up your energy.
Um, that was that was also agood one.
And don't ignore the red flag,that's one of my favorites.
And that one was basically likewhen you see a person the first
time, take them for what theyare the first time.
Do people change?
(07:34):
Yes, people change, but youcan't allow people to walk on
you and step on you while thewhile they're trying to change
because it does something toyou.
So don't ignore the red flags.
Um, another one was what womenwant.
We talked about how we wantsomeone to understand us,
someone to say, you know, notthat I'm always nagging you, but
(07:57):
you have a genuine concern aboutcertain things.
Want somebody we can cuddlewith, we saw somebody that we
can grow old with, not somebodythat we gotta that we're
constantly in conflict with.
Um, and I know a lot of womenwill say, Oh, you know, God sent
me this man, and I know God, Iknow it was from God because I
saw the sign.
(08:17):
It could truly well be it's fromGod.
But remember, what God blesses,it brings no sorrow.
And if you go through some upsand downs, that means God's
gonna be in the midst of it tohelp you out of it in
relationships, in anyrelationship, marriage, brother
and sister, mother, daughter,father, son.
If God is in the midst of it,God's gonna bring you out of it.
(08:38):
Um, for romantic relationships,you know, make if God truly
brought you through to it, he'lldefinitely bring you through it.
But you gotta focus on him andmake sure that he is the one
that made the decision, not you.
Um, we also talked about amodest dress versus sexy dress.
(09:01):
We came to the conclusion of umthe way you dress is the
attention that you draw.
So if you, you know, you want tobe, you want someone that's
gonna be decent, that's gonnasee your heart, not your body,
then you want to dressappropriately.
Not saying that you can't be,that you can't have your sex
(09:22):
your sex appeal because mostwomen have their own sex appeal.
So you just you don't want toovershadow what you're looking
for.
Um, I notice I see in a lot ofthe videos that I watch, I
notice that a lot of men say,oh, she's smash material, but
she ain't wife material, and wedon't want to ever put ourselves
(09:42):
in a situation where we're smashmaterial because God created us
better than that.
You know, so that that was oneof the um, that was a few of the
topics.
I I tried to put them all, but Ionly came up with those two.
And then first one I justactually introduced myself.
I was a little nervous on thatone.
This is my first time being on apodcast without my partner and
(10:05):
crying.
So, but I think I've gottenbetter.
I gotta look at the camera more.
Just a few things that you knowI have to work on for next
season.
So, but I also also lookingforward to next season.
So, um, let's move on to ourtopic.
Our topic for tonight is toshine without apology.
(10:26):
And as I thought about thistopic, I also came to the
conclusion that seemed like allof the topics that we have
discussed within this season wasall about self-care,
self-building yourself up,motivating yourself, and moving
forward.
So, and I wanted to continuethat at the end.
Uh, hopefully, next season we'llhave a little bit more powwows.
(10:49):
Um, also, if you want to callin, this is a live podcast, you
can call in at 754-222-2219.
I would love to hear, you know,your suggestions, your
recommendations, you know,whatever it is that you want to
add to.
I put a script, but if you callin and you want to ask just a
(11:11):
question, hey, you never know.
Someone in the audience might belistening and might have that
same question, or they may evenhave an answer.
So please don't hesitate to callin and ask your questions, or
even if you just want to make asuggestion toward the topic.
So we're talking about let yourlight shine.
Have you ever felt like um, haveyou ever felt like you had to
(11:33):
dim your light down to makeother people feel comfortable?
You know, you hold back, likemaybe you may have an idea on
your job, or you may, you know,maybe have an idea for a get
together for a girls event, butbecause you know you got certain
body language from people, youjust started to pull yourself
back.
(11:53):
Well, I'm here to let you knowthat you do not have to
apologize and you didn't have tostep yourself back from where
God has called you to shine.
You do not have to apologize forbeing who you are, you have to
own your own uniqueness,whatever it may be.
You have to own it because ifyou allow somebody to drain it
(12:13):
from you, then you're not reallydoing that purpose that you were
called to do.
And it don't have to besomething that's in, it don't
have to be something that's inthe church, or it could be just
something that you feelcompassionate about that you
allow somebody to pull that fromyou.
Let your light shine, be uniquein your own way, don't dim
(12:34):
yourself for no one.
I have an example of yeah, don'tgive them your light for no one.
Remember, we're not letting themdisturb our peace.
We we we we getting what we wantas women, so we gotta make sure
our our peace is intact, our ourour soul is intact.
Um, let me share this with you.
(12:55):
I had um I would be in thepresence of other women, and and
I'm so proud of my children forgoing to college and getting um
getting their degrees, and thenfor me, it was like, hey, get
your bachelor's, you're good togo.
No, my kids went to a father'sstep.
So I was really proud of them.
So whenever I was in the midstof other women and they were
(13:16):
talking about their children,and I would bring up my kids.
Well, you know, my daughter wentto Spelman, my daughter went to
UCF, my baby was all over there.
I started feeling some sort ofway.
So I was like, well, maybe I'mtalking about that too much.
Maybe um, maybe they feel likeI'm bragging, but I wasn't
really black bragging becauseafter everything I say, but it
was God that carried themthrough.
(13:38):
Because when we have no money,we have the money to get them
through, but God, and I think itwas more like a testimony seeing
how they continued theirstudies, and and I prayed and I
asked God to continue to, youknow, to cover them and protect
them.
Because at the time, dad and I,we barely could keep a roof over
(13:59):
our head, so we couldn't reallyhelp like we wanted to, but they
made it through.
So those conversations that I'llbe having, I started seeing,
like, hey, you know, here shegoes talking about that again.
That was the impression that Iwas getting.
Maybe that's not what they werefeeling, but I'm a big reader of
body language.
I read it, I read it, and I feltsome sort of way.
(14:21):
So then in order to be part ofthat group, I start just kind of
shutting down and laughing, youknow, letting them talk and not
say how I felt because I feltlike, you know, I wasn't really
trying to let my light shine,but I was just trying to let
them know that through God,anything is possible.
But they were shutting me down.
(14:42):
So I kind of just kind of feltreally small.
So I just, you know, kind ofstayed back.
And for a long time, that's howI was.
I'm in these relationships withthese, in these communicating
relationships with these women,but I can't really express how
I'm feeling pretty much aboutanything.
I um I also had a situationwhere I would tell somebody,
(15:05):
well, being a military wife,this is how that was done when
my husband was active duty.
And it was considered that shethinks she knows everything.
So again, I backed out, and Ididn't say anything, but let me
tell you something.
Anybody that's been throughsomething and I gotta and I'm
going down that road, please letme know.
(15:26):
I don't want to, if I can't, ifI kind of if I can avoid falling
in a ditch from your experience,please tell me what's gonna
happen, what to look for, how togo around it.
So we find ourselves shuttingdown our own self to make other
people feel good aboutthemselves.
(15:46):
All the while you just trying tofit in.
But why?
Why own your own uniqueness, nomatter what it is, own it.
Don't get caught up inself-doubt.
Like, I, you know, it's anothertime I was with these ladies,
they were all collegegraduating, and I didn't
graduate from college, so I feltkind of like maybe I don't want
(16:10):
to say anything because I don'twant to sound stupid or I don't
want to do this, but they keptasking my opinion.
And I kept saying, no, maybe youget him, but they kept asking my
opinion.
I realized then that it doesn'tmatter what type of educational
background I have, I have alight that God has given me and
I'm gonna let it shine.
And if you have a problem withthat, then move out of the way
(16:30):
because I'm not gonna stand inthe shadows, I'm not gonna stand
behind in the shadows and hidewho I am to make you feel good.
That's just not gonna happen.
You know, so that was one of thethings, you know, just keep, you
know, keep reminding yourselfand encouraging yourself that
you are who God called you to bein whatever capacity it may be
(16:52):
at work, it may be involunteering, it may be at
church, whatever, whatever youfeel compassionate about, shine
like a diamond, a big, beautifuldiamond, because God has not
given you the spirit of fear,and you should never let anyone
encourage you or make you feelfear because of who you are.
(17:16):
That's not that that's crazy.
Continue to set boundaries withpeople.
You have to walk in yourpurpose, and people will take
that from you.
Remember, we talked about don'tum don't disturb my peace.
That's a whole that's a bigthing with setting boundaries
with people.
Because if you don't setboundaries, they'll walk on you,
they'll trample you, like I saidbefore.
(17:38):
Your energy, your peace is yourpower.
We talked about that.
Your peace is your power.
Hold on to that with everythingthat you have.
Nobody deserves to take yourpeace, it belongs to you and no
one else.
And if you decide you want togive it to somebody, that's
totally up to you.
But hold on to that.
Don't even, don't even yourtime, your energy.
(18:00):
I we talked about um self-care.
We did talk about self-care.
What have you been doing forself-care?
Have you been taking that bubblebath?
Have you been lighting thatcandle?
Have you been reading your word?
Have you found a good book toread?
As a matter of fact, I just gota new library card.
So I'm gonna be uh I'm gonna begoing to the library and getting
me some of these books and justread, you know, just that's that
(18:23):
that's it's in educatingyourself.
It could be a cookbook, whateveryour fancy is.
You might want to learn a newrecipe.
I know my um, I know my godson'smom.
She's always posting recipes, soI know she's big on cooking.
Go get something.
Get something that's gonna giveyou some, boost you up.
(18:43):
Yeah, boost you up.
Your time, your energy, and yourpeace is important.
So hold on to it with everythingyou have.
Walk in your purpose, whateveryour purpose may be, walk in
your purpose.
You know, reflect on how theclarity of your purpose brings
you confidence.
When you walk in your purpose ofwho you are, you build your own
(19:05):
confidence.
You don't need anyone to pat youon your back and tell you, oh,
you're doing good, you're doinggood.
Nothing's wrong with beingpraised.
Everybody wants to be praisedand everybody would like to hear
it, but you got to be able topraise yourself, you got to be
able to lift your own self up.
In the Bible, David encouragedhimself.
I used to wonder what that meansthat he encouraged himself.
(19:26):
But when I started looking inthe mirror every morning and
saying, you look a mess, butyou're beautiful.
Uh, we got something to dotoday, so let's get it started.
And that's just kind of how howit went.
I just began to tell myself allthe time how pretty I was.
You know, I not that I'm stuckup and I think I'm all that
(19:48):
because God knows I don't.
But if I don't encourage me, howI'm gonna step outside that door
and face the world who mostlikely is not gonna encourage
me.
Between me and my husband,morning prayer, when I step out
the door, I'm ready to do it.
So basically, you have to walkin your purpose, you have to
build your own confidence up inyourself.
(20:10):
You do the things that light youup.
If you like to dance, turn onsome music and dance.
You don't have to be at the clubto get down, you can turn off
some music and get down right inyour living room.
I do sometimes I be in thekitchen.
As a matter of fact, I wasdancing this morning before I
left for work.
And it's so crazy because theday before I could barely lift
(20:30):
my head.
I was like, you know, we wealternate prayer weeks.
So one week I pray in themorning, the next week my
husband prayed in the morning.
But this week he had to praytwice because I just wasn't,
yeah, I just wasn't feeling it.
However, this morning I woke upwith a dance in my heart and a
(20:50):
dancing in my feet.
I prayed while he made coffeeand I head on out the door and
did what I had to do.
I walked in my purpose.
I knew it was something that Ineeded to get done that day.
I got out, I got it done.
I had a great day at work, andI'm back home.
I even took a little nap.
Um I'm actually going throughthese different steps.
(21:15):
So if you guys, if I'm going toofast, stop me.
Um, let me just say, let me readthe chat here.
Hey Nat, my daughter's watchingfrom Chicago.
And um, hey Nikki, um, mydaughter's watching from
Tallahassee.
Um, yeah, right.
Affirmations.
You have to you really, Nikkireally encouraged me about
(21:37):
affirmations.
Nat really taught me how to takedeep belly breaths.
And I can say with just knowingthose two things, I am a better
person than what I was lastyear.
Because I'm learning thateverything doesn't require a
response, you know, and andaffirming myself that this is
what I'm gonna do and this ishow it's gonna get done.
(22:00):
And just encouraging myself isjust amazing.
So I really try to walk in mypurpose every day.
Every it ain't easy every day,but I get on out there and I do
it.
I have gotten to the place whereI'm no longer apologizing for
who I am.
If you can't get with me, that'sfine.
(22:22):
You don't have to dis you don'thave to be disrespectful about
it, you don't have to curse atme about it.
We just we just parted ways.
And it's okay because somepeople just in your life for a
season, in your life to buildyou, that to help build, and
then they go on about theirtheir businesses the same way
with you.
(22:42):
There are some people that Godonly get put in your life for a
season for you to do what hecalled you to do and to move on,
and that's okay, it's nothingwrong with it, but you can't sit
back and apologize every timesomeone feels offended by you
because people are gonna beoffended by you no matter what,
no matter what you say, nomatter how you say it, no matter
(23:03):
what you look like, it's gonnaalways be somebody that's gonna
have an issue with you.
And I used to that used to hurtmy heart so so bad.
So I used to be like, well, whatdid I do?
Why this person just don't likeme?
I didn't do nothing to them, youknow.
But sometimes it just happened.
I just had an accident, uhsituation that happened at work
(23:24):
yesterday.
Um, one of the moms, um, shesaid she didn't like me.
It was puzzling because she'sthe one that I had been texting
for the last three days and backand forth, back and forth, and I
can understand.
So finally I just went, I say,we have a problem.
And she said, Yeah, I don't likeyou.
And I say, Why?
(23:45):
And she says, Well, rememberthat meeting we was in?
I've never been in a meetingwith you.
Well, yeah, we was at theprincipal's office, we was in
the conference room.
I was like, No, not me.
I've never been in a meetingwith you.
She was like, Oh my goodness,no, it's not you.
And I was like, you know what?
(24:05):
If I hadn't gone to her, wewould have spent now, mind you,
I'm holding her baby, her babyis kissing and loving all on me,
and she looking at me, rollingher eyes, like if I hadn't gone
to her and said, Hey, you sheactually had me mixed up with
someone else.
But, you know, but just had Inot said anything, me and this
lady would have gone to wholeschool year not speaking, where
(24:27):
I am taking care of your kid.
Well, I'm overseeing your kid,but I do go in there and snuggle
with the babies and take napssometimes.
So, um, if they'll let me.
But I'm not gonna apologize forwho I am because what God has
given me, it has to, it has tobe done.
I have to shine, I have to dowhat he says, I have to live on
(24:50):
purpose.
And regardless of who don't likeit, that's a personal problem.
That's your problem and God'sproblem.
That's not my problem.
So when you find yourself insituations where people just
don't like you just because it'snot your problem, it's their
problem, it's their problem, andthey can deal with God with it
because what God has what Godhas given you, no man can take
(25:11):
it from you.
And that's your peace, your joy,you know, your love.
Nobody can take that from you.
I know it's a song that we sangwhen we were little, this joy
that I have, the world can'thave it, and the world can't
take it away.
That's exactly how we have tobe.
We can't allow anyone to step onus, ruin our dreams, ruin us,
and have us walking around withour head in the clouds while
(25:33):
they're sitting in a huddle withthe next people talking about
what they just did to you.
We can't do that.
We cannot do that.
We have to stay rooted, we haveto stay positive, we can't
apologize for just being who weare.
Stay rooted, stay spiritual.
(25:53):
If you have a relation to God,try not to lean to your own
understanding.
Trust me, it's not gonna get younowhere.
But when you put God in and youlet God, you know, in Matthew 5
and 16, it says, let your lightshine.
And I can understand why, out ofall the things when he says, let
your light shine.
And then it dawned on methroughout your life, it's gonna
(26:15):
be stages and ages until you get100 if you make it that far.
And in every age, in everystage, it's gonna be a reason
for you to shine.
And you get out there and youshine.
I was so skeptical about goingback to college at 58, but here
I am trying to get myselftogether and get right back out
(26:36):
there because I'm at an age andI'm at a stage that it's time
for me to shine yet again.
So we go through it every hour,you know, every few years, it's
a different stage, it's adifferent age, and it's time for
you to shine.
So let your light shine anddon't be ashamed of it.
Your light should be able tohelp you lift up other people.
(26:57):
Your light should be able tohelp you lift yourself up, and
your light should be able tohelp you pat yourself on the
back and say, job well done,Patsy, you did that, you know.
So I'm like, Yeah, you got it.
You have to stay with it.
And if you can, if you have, I'mnot, if you have a relationship
with the Lord God Almighty, Heis awesome.
(27:19):
I'm I don't mean to preach toyou today or to to bring the
Lord into it, but when I lookback and I see things, when I
when I look back, as a matter offact, went to a uh a viewing
last weekend and I said, Wow,this could have easily been me.
It could have easily been anyone of us, but God saw fit for
(27:40):
us to stay on the grind, hang inthere, and and and do what we're
called to do.
So I was just forever like, Iwas like, wow, um, God is
definitely calling his peoplehome.
Um, but so far I'm not on the onthe on the call list.
So I'm thankful for that.
(28:02):
I have a uh, oh hey Melissa,it's my cousin from Atlanta.
Hey girl, hey, meditation,affirmation, and prayer.
Also, what you think of me isnone of my business.
If it's rooted in negative,negative energy.
That is so true.
What I had to get to that point,and I tell my daughters all the
(28:23):
time, I used to be so concernedabout other people think, how
other people felt, that I usedto literally make myself sick
about it.
And one day I woke up, I think Iturned 40, it was my birthday,
and I said, I can't, I donespent 40 years with this
concern.
I can no longer give them thattype of energy and that type of
(28:46):
power to damage me.
So I said, you know what?
If you're not paying any bills,credit cards, mortgage, car
payment, any of that, I can'tallow you to have that energy.
Now, once you start paying thatstuff, then I owe you an
explanation.
But as I'm not, as if you'renot, then I don't.
So I just have to let it go, youknow.
(29:09):
And sometimes it's so crazybecause it'd be the people the
closest to you that makes youfeel diverse.
And that's okay.
Um, hi Jackie Griffith Anderson.
Thank you so much for joiningus.
Where are you joining us from?
If you don't mind typing in, Iknow we got Chicago,
Tallahassee, and Atlanta on theline.
I would love to know whereyou're where you were from.
(29:32):
So yeah, and another thing too,surround yourself with
like-minded people.
I like I said, I went and Ivisited with my my cousin and
her husband and my niece andnephew um this this um past
weekend.
(29:53):
And I felt so comfortable.
I literally could let my hairdown because when you're a
pastor's Wife, people put somany standards on you, like you
gotta this and you gotta be likethat, and you gotta be like
that.
But when I was sitting in thepresence of them, I felt so
comfortable.
You know, I felt good in myskin.
(30:15):
I felt like I was in thepresence of like-minded people,
light barriers.
The light just shined on them,which made it so easy to be
accepted and feel comfortable inboth their homes.
I was just like, I felt like Iwas in my own living room, and
that and and that was so good toum to be accepted, not judged
(30:38):
and comfortable.
I mean, even my cousin dog gotup and let me cuddle up with
her.
So, you know, like-minded peopleare very important people.
Uh, okay, West Palm Beach in thehouse.
Thanks, Miss Jackie.
Oh, I see sexy girl C is in it.
Hey, Cindy, how you doing?
Um, so we were talking about um,what were we talking about?
(31:01):
What about topic?
Not apologizing for shine foryour light.
No apology.
We just let your light shine.
No, no, first lady, come on.
Just let your light shine.
You don't have to apologize forit.
That was the topic.
But now, if anybody wants tocall in, please call in
754-222-2219.
(31:25):
And like I said, I just broughta topic, but if it's anything
that you want to just kind ofthrow out there, even if you
want to type it in, um, say,hey, I've been thinking, I've
been going through this, what doyou think about that?
You never know somebody may beable to answer your question,
and other than myself, and andI'm okay with that because
believe it or not, I'm herelearning as well as um I'm
(31:49):
encouraging.
I think the whole point of thiswas just to build to um
encourage and empower women andbuild us, build them up and let
them know that you know what,this world cannot can't, this
world cannot revolve without us.
We are in it and we're in thisstate from the beginning of the
time.
And it's just a few littlethings that we like to tweak
because we don't want to bestuck on, we want to be heard,
(32:11):
we want to be recognized becausein the at the end of the day, we
as women, we do that.
We recognize, we appreciate, weshow praise, we nurture.
It's a it's a never-ending dose.
So we want to be treated asjust.
So I think the whole process ofthis actual podcast was to just
kind of really empower you.
(32:32):
And by doing research and stuff,I'm really learning.
I'm really learning a lot.
So yeah.
So just surround yourself withpeople that that's you know,
that's gonna be light bearers,people that their their light is
shining just as bright as yours.
Yeah, that part.
Um, so God is giving God is allGod is also giving you skills
(32:59):
and talents and beauty, and andhe shine his light on you daily.
So when someone passed by youand they just be like, well, hey
there, and you you can yourbrain could be somewhere else,
but that person said, there'sjust something about you.
It's something that there'ssomething that's on you that may
because everybody don't speakwhen they pass you, but some
(33:20):
people they'll just come out ofthere and be like, hey, that's
something about you.
Like, I need to know more aboutyou.
I need to know more about thatlight that you have, that light
that's shining also bright.
That light that God places onyou every day.
So walk in your purpose.
Don't apologize for your foryour shine.
(33:42):
Let your light shine.
Stay rooted in God.
Surround yourself with people,with good people.
You know, I think we talkedabout owning your uniqueness,
whatever is unique about you,own that and let it shine.
Where you don't have to berunning through the neighborhood
with a flag saying, hey, I'mwonderful.
No, you don't have to, becausepeople see that.
(34:04):
God will definitely show people,they'll they'll they'll be able
to point that out in you.
You won't even have to sayanything.
Don't stay quiet.
If you have a circle of peoplethat you're with and you gotta
dim your light so they canshine, that's the wrong circle.
Find your new circle, find yournew circle because there is no
(34:26):
way that you should have to umshut yourself down to make
someone else feel good when youshould be in it together.
We should, I know I had saw uhan affirmation about don't um
when your sister's crown iscrooked, don't talk about it,
lean over and adjust it becauseyou never know when she might
(34:47):
have to adjust yours.
So it's important for us to kindof stick together, it's
important for us to kind ofencourage each other and and
stay focused on what our purposeis and what God has called us to
do, which is really, reallyimportant that we would stay um
rooted and grounded in what Godhas called us to do.
(35:09):
And whatever it is you you do,if you do basket weaving, do it
with the greatest ability thatyou can and smile while you're
at whistle while you work.
You know that song, whistlewhile you work.
Do what you have to do to keepyour mindset clear.
Because again, people willdefinitely try and pull it from
(35:33):
you.
Yeah, so it's something to go tothe chat.
Um, Melissa says, I'm from theSouth, so I speak to everybody.
You can imagine the stairs Ican't.
Yeah, and me too.
I'm like that.
Where about you look and youlive in uh in Atlanta, so I can
only imagine when you're walkingby saying, Hey, people looking
(35:54):
at you like, what is wrong withher?
You know, but that's just how weare, and that's how we was also
raised, too.
You don't walk into a room andnot speak to people, you don't
make eye contact with a person,walk right past them.
If you're gonna make eyecontact, say hello or hi, how
you doing?
It's just rude.
I think it's rude.
Um, so and and I'll be like, oh,or I'll pass, I'll say hey, and
(36:18):
they don't say nothing.
I was like, oh, wait a minute,did I say hey, or was that just
in my head?
And I keep on walking, let themknow that I did say hello and
you didn't respond back, butmaybe it was me, not you.
Take ownership and keep itmoving.
Yeah.
So that's pretty much how we umthat's pretty much what I have
on letting up Shine WithoutApology.
(36:40):
And I'm really happy that I thatthis came up.
I have definitely been seekingthe Lord's advice on everything
that I come on the podcast anddo.
Also, I do call the girls andask them for suggestions.
And they um they came up quite afew um that I didn't get to it
all in this setting, but Idefinitely will um tag some of
(37:01):
them in the next one.
Um, so you know, just know thatshining um without apology means
that you're just owning yourworth and you're walking in your
purpose and letting your lightshine so that others may see
that you know that's what youhave.
That's what you you got a lightto shine and you gotta let it
(37:22):
shine.
Um, Natalie said in the content,have you had any challenges with
imposter syndrome and how didyou overcome it?
Imposter syndrome, what is that?
I never heard of that.
Please expound so I can answerthat.
(37:47):
Imposter syndrome.
I guess being oh my light menow.
I guess being someone thatyou're not right, Natalie?
Pretending to be somebody thatyou're not.
I'm gonna wait for her toexplain it to me, then I'll
answer that.
(38:07):
I think I'm in the right time.
But she can call in and at754-222-2219, ask that question.
Um so just remember that lettingyour light shine uh means you
don't have to hide it, you don'thave to shrink it.
You can shine bright like adiamond without apology.
(38:32):
So yeah, that would that wouldbe it.
But I also want to bring to yourattention before we before we
shut out that this month isbreast cancer and domestic
violence awareness month.
Okay, um, so I have a video foryou.
(38:53):
I literally forgot about thatvideo.
Let's play the first video,babe, and that way we can get in
that time to um to let me know.
SPEAKER_02 (39:08):
You can't step into your destiny tiptoeing around
with other people's opinions.
I want to share a story or ananalogy the other day.
It's fiction, but it reallystuck with me.
It's a story of a peacock whospent his days around other
smaller birds, pigeons and othersmaller birds.
And the peacock realized thatits feathers were brighter and
bigger than the other birds.
(39:28):
And so the peacock kept itsfeathers tucked in and tried to
keep them down, thinking, whatwill the other birds think?
Well, they think I'm doing toomuch.
And the more that peaco kept itsfeathers tucked in and down, the
weaker they got and the dullerthe colors got.
Until another, one day anotherpeacock came by and said to that
timid peacock, why are youhiding what was meant to shine?
(39:48):
Why are you hiding what wasmeant to be seen by the world?
And something shifted insidethat timid peacock and it opened
its feathers and saw colors ithad never even seen before.
And the peacock realized itdidn't need permission from the
other birds to shine.
We have a greatness or adestination that we're trying to
get to.
We will never get there if wekeep tiptoeing around other
(40:11):
people's opinions.
SPEAKER_03 (40:18):
I like that video because sometimes as women, we
will, like I was saying earlier,how I just kind of shut myself
down to actually to avoid whatpeople was gonna think about me.
Um, what people's gonna thinkabout me before I just kind of
do it in.
It took me a minute, 10 yearslater.
(40:39):
I'm 40 years old, and I finallysaid, I'm not done, I'm not
doing this anymore.
Oh my god, this is too much.
Okay, I want to just give ashout out to Miss Terry Aponte
in Wisconsin.
Thank you for joining us.
I think I have a caller on theline.
Hello, hello.
SPEAKER_04 (41:03):
What people try to think about me.
Um, hi Hello, so this is this isMatt.
I wanted to um clarify whatimposter syndrome was.
(41:27):
Um can you hear me?
Yes, I can.
Thank you for calling.
Okay, great.
Yeah, so imposter syndrome islike the feeling of an adequacy,
inadequacy, and your skill in umyour accomplishments.
So the feeling of not thefeeling of that that you're not
(41:53):
worthy of like the praise andadmiration, whether it's through
your uh for your job or it's fora particular um skill that you
have.
So that's what I wanted to know.
Like, did you have you ever feltthat?
And how did you overcome it?
SPEAKER_03 (42:13):
Um I felt I've you know, my I was pregnant at 14.
And I felt I felt like I wasworthless, that I was never
gonna move forward in life, thatit was just, you know, and the
(42:37):
adults was like, oh yeah, she'sabout to have about 15 children.
So I didn't have thatencouragement.
And I felt I just really feltless of a person because you
know, I was a teenage mom and Iwasn't ever gonna get married, I
wasn't ever gonna have anything,I was gonna be on public
assistance for the rest of mylife, me and my children, then
(42:58):
my children was gonna be on it.
So I really felt down, you know,about that.
And no matter how much I did toget myself out of it, I just
didn't feel like I was worthy.
So it took me a minute to get tothe point that, you know, yeah,
yes, you are.
It took a long time, but as Igot older and I started seeing
(43:21):
things change and thinkmotivation and different things
going and happening in my life,I was able to honestly go to God
with that.
I would I would punish myself,self-guilt.
I I was never enough for me.
Like, I I was never enough forme.
(43:42):
So it wasn't until I really justput it all in God's hand because
I was starting to get tormentingmyself with uh you got three
kids, you're 20 years old, yougot this, you're, you know,
you're 21.
You you're not gonna, you'retrying to go to school, but
you're trying to do daycare,you're trying to do this.
You know, it was just a lot onme being a single parent.
(44:03):
I really felt that I wasn'tworthy.
And it took my relationship withGod to kind of pull me out of
there.
Although I did end up getting, Idid get married.
However, I um I still had togrow in that because even then I
didn't feel like like I was, youknow, like myself worth that
(44:24):
just wasn't worthy.
Like, why did this person marryme?
He wants something from me,that's why he married me.
He didn't marry me because heloved me.
It was a self-torture.
And now I'm I now I have like Ihave a therapist that I haven't
visited in about three years,but I do need to do that.
But I know that I can go andtalk to someone about it to get
(44:47):
me to that next point.
It definitely was a challenge,and it took me a long time to
overcome it.
But if I had to put, if I had toput two and two together, it
I'll have to say that I had tocompletely and totally give that
to God.
Because every time I gave it tosomeone else to help me out, I
ended up with it back.
(45:08):
Now I'm adding on it.
Now it's like an onion, layersand layers and layers and
layers.
Does that make sense?
SPEAKER_04 (45:16):
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
Um, yeah, I think a lot ofpeople feel that when they're
young and they make a mistake,that it's kind of like all over.
And when they are, when theymake it through, they feel like
that like that they are notdeserving of you know the the
(45:38):
type of things they have or thethings they they get when they
get out of it, or um, and so Ijust wanted to know like that.
I think it was really it'sreally interesting your your uh
view on on that.
Um and you know, not only that,it's also forgiving yourself for
(46:00):
making a mistake.
It's also very hard to do for alot of people.
And when you I think once all ofthat is like kind of taken care
of and you're talking in itstalk through and you do give it
to God, um, then that's likewhen your light can shine, I
(46:21):
guess, the the most, becauseyou're that confident, and I'm
here because I'm worth it, andum I I'm living the life that I
have because I'm worth it, and Ihave these skill sets because
I'm worth it.
So um thank you so much for yourum your view on that.
SPEAKER_03 (46:41):
You're welcome.
And also, you know, look at itthis way it if you don't
deserve, why not?
Why don't you deserve it?
You do, then who?
Why not you?
Why not you?
You deserve it, you deserveevery blessing that God lays at
your feet, every blessing, everydoor, every window, everything
(47:02):
that God does for you, everyopportunity that you get, you
deserve it.
And that's how we have to lookat it.
If not you, then who?
Your sister, your mom, your bestfriend, your neighbor, why not
you?
And that's how we have to lookat things.
(47:24):
Because God don't bless no mess,so you gotta be doing something
right, right?
Right.
All right, well, thank you somuch for calling in, my love.
I appreciate you.
SPEAKER_04 (47:38):
Thank you for your um your view on this.
I really appreciate it.
And congratulations on theseason or season finale.
Yay, thank you.
SPEAKER_03 (47:52):
Bye.
If anyone else wants to call in,or if anyone wants to um maybe
add to what I said and encourageher, that would be great.
Um, other than that, let me justget back to, I think I kind of
jumped over breast cancerawareness.
Um, my dear friend um DonnaFerguson passed away from breast
(48:13):
cancer.
Who I want to say, was it 2020or 2019?
I think it was 2019.
Um, and although she had gone inand had had uh a mammogram in
October, she found out she hadstage four cancer, uh breast
cancer in February, went intoremission, but soon later um she
(48:35):
passed away.
So it's so important, ladies.
Um, you know, the youngestperson that have died from
breast cancer was 19 years old,so you don't have to be old.
You don't have to be old.
It happens to all of us.
So, you know, they have thesefree mobile mobiles out here.
Go um get it taken care of, makesure you're good to go.
(48:57):
We also had a young lady fromour school that I work with that
went in that had never gone, andthat first time she went, breast
cancer.
So I have a I do, you know, umit's a pet peeve.
I used to have a tea party um inthe month of October.
I need to get back to that, um,just life.
(49:19):
But yeah, be be vigilant, getout there, get it tested, get
checked, because they do now,they're doing a lot more with
early detection these days.
So please don't hesitate.
You know, especially for womenof color, uh, get out there
because we're at a higher rate.
Us Indian and Hispanic is at ahigher rate than our Caucasian
(49:43):
sisters.
So get out there, get it done,ladies.
Don't hesitate.
I know it's scary, I know it'snervous, but what's the worst
part is if you don't know, youcan't do anything about
something that you don't know.
So if you go and you get testedand you don't have to do
anything, awesome.
That's a great blessing.
(50:03):
Also, if you go and you getsomething detected, guess what?
That's a blessing too, becauseyou got it first.
You went out there and you gotit done.
Um, Terry says that her mom hadbreast cancer and she survived
that by the grace of God.
Praise God, praise God, thankGod.
(50:24):
You know, and Natalie saymammograms are required at age
40.
Well, it's changing, they'llstart to get you out of there
early, early in now, especiallyif you have any breast cancer in
your family.
So let's say you had yourmother's sister may have had
breast cancer and you're 18.
They'll start testing you from18 and they'll test you every
(50:47):
three years, just so becauseit's in your family.
But if you're not in yourfamily, then I think 40 is
definitely the age that they umcall you in to be checked, but
it's it's true.
Go do it as much as you hate todo it, it's not as uncomfortable
as you think it is.
It used to be reallyuncomfortable.
(51:08):
Women used to be like, I'm notgoing, I'm not going, because
they're gonna flap me to apancake.
They don't do that anymore.
Technology has improved, as amatter of fact, they have a
theme that goes around yourwhole body, and you don't even
and you're just standing there.
So definitely get that get thattaken care of.
Um, domestic violence.
(51:28):
Domestic violence is my petpeeve because I am a survivor of
that.
Um, if you know someone that'sbeing abused emotionally,
mentally, physically, um, thescars that we don't see, the
mental ones that we don't see.
(51:49):
If you see your your sister, umjust if you you notice she was
shining bright and all of asudden she shining no more, go
talk to her.
Is everything okay?
You know, uh, you know, oh, youknow, and just hear because
sometimes they just wantsomebody to listen.
And we're not therapists, so youknow, being a person that hid
(52:12):
scars and hid bruises and hid uhbloody eyes and stuff like that,
I can pretty much pick up on thebody language of someone that's
going through something.
I don't I don't go out lookingfor stuff like that, but if I
see somebody that all of asudden their light is dimming,
and it could be, it don't haveto be from a male, it could be
(52:36):
from a female, it could be froma family member, it could be
anybody.
Domestic violence don't onlyhold with men.
You know, some women beat men.
Domestic violence can be abrother against a sister, it can
be in the household, you know.
So if you know anybody, youknow, make make sure you get
them to the right person so thatthey can get some help.
(52:57):
I know here in Broward we havewomen in distress, we have kids
in distress.
If you know somebody, I know theshelters are quite full these
days, but when somebody's in aviolent situation, they go to
the top of the list becausethey'll feel like they don't
have anyone on their side andthey don't know what to do.
So if you know someone, andthat's pretty much throughout
(53:18):
the United States, anyone that'sin a domestic violence
situation, they go right to thetop of the list.
Anybody with children, right tothe top of the list.
So um, and sometimes that listcan be pretty long and they may
have to wait a minute, but theygot to get the help that they
need because at the end of theday, running away is better than
death.
(53:38):
And sometimes it ends in death,and it's not it's not fair, it's
not cool, and they get scaredand they get afraid to tell
people because they're afraid ofthe abuser.
Um in my situation, my abuserwas a police officer, so who do
I go to?
(53:59):
It was it was serious, it wasserious, but by the grace of
God, I I I the Lord saw fit forme.
He had a whole nother plan forme, a plan that I had no clue
to.
You know, they say when you makeyour own plans, God laughs at
you.
And um, so it was it wasdifficult to get out, but God
(54:21):
opened a door and a window, andI was able to get out.
Um, Miss Terry says, alsoregarding domestic violence, get
away.
Tell somebody to seek, um, tellsomeone to seek help.
You do not have to deal withthat a lot, absolutely.
And again, it's not as easy toseek help as people think it is.
(54:42):
You think that you can just upand go.
But if you've been threatening,your child's life has been
threatened, it's difficult toget up and go.
But there are ways that youcould plan, have your plan of
attack, you know, and you canget on out and start copying and
and and start copying passportsand birth certificates and
putting them outside, bury themin the ground, because when you
(55:04):
go, you gotta go, you may haveto leave everything.
But don't be afraid, there is umhelp out there for you, and you
have to take that step, right?
So that that was that that'sthat uh domestic violence is
really uh a pet peeve for me.
(55:26):
It's just really dear to me, andum, so sometimes I get a little
choked up, even after all theseyears, and it's been years, like
almost 35.
Wait a minute, it's been almostalmost 40 years, almost 40 years
since that experience.
So imagine for someone who hasonly been five years or two
(55:49):
years, so it's still a littlefresh, but I mean it still
reminds me of letting andencourage people to get away.
You gotta get away, and and andyou gotta get some help, you
just do right.
Okay, so we're gonna go aheadand wrap this up.
Uh, we have one more video.
(56:10):
Can we roll that video?
SPEAKER_00 (56:15):
Hello.
This is the last year of my lifewhere I give my life so other
people can feel comfortable.
I'm not bougie, I'm notarrogant, I'm not sucked up.
But if my life was in you,that's between you and the life
given.
(56:36):
Your life.
If you ain't comfortable aroundme, I'm a new friend.
But I'm doing acting like I amnot who I am.
So you can be comfortable withwho you like before yourself.
You are the home.
What the matter for if you knewlike my new you would hold close
(56:59):
before me.
I don't know what it is.
When I ask your question, why doyou know about my life?
When I told you it was just alittle light.
What you gonna do?
When God really threw me up thisyear, I don't care how God my
(57:24):
family used to be when I throwup this family throwing the
light on.
I don't get ready to break everygenerational person, every
generational life, but we don'thave no money before me.
We don't have it after me.
Be who God calls you to be.
SPEAKER_03 (58:01):
Hang in there, do what makes you happy.
Don't dim your light for anyone.
Your light is meant to be seen.
Don't hide it, don't shrink it,shine without apology.
And with that being said, we'regonna tune off, and I'll see you
guys next season.
(58:22):
Thank you, thank you, thank youagain for joining me.
My heart goes out.
I will keep you all in myprayers.
Again, thank you, and I loveyou.
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