Episode Transcript
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Daniel Moore (00:03):
But even if we
aren't being abused, all of us
suffer in marriage because we'reall imperfect.
Michelle Moore (00:08):
Right.
Daniel Moore (00:09):
None of us are
perfect.
We all have our issues.
We've got our dirt, we've gotour secrets and skeletons in the
closet.
We've got all this stuff thatwe have throughout our lifetime,
and so we all have to rememberthat we're all really on equal
level playing grounds and, as wesuffer because of our spouse's
behavior, we must choose toeither deal with it righteously
(00:29):
and trust God for the results,or take the matter into our own
hands and justify bad behavior.
That's really the only twochoices you have, and we must
use right behavior at all timesand trust God to reward us and
to change our spouses.
Aria (00:42):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (00:42):
And notice that
little line there is God changes
the spouse.
Aria (00:46):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (00:47):
It's not us
changing our spouse.
That's not how that works.
Last week, we began the lastlaw of the four laws of love,
the law of purity.
This week, we're going to talkabout the seven steps to having
purity in your marriage.
We'll be getting back into thatright after this.
Welcome to the Marriage LifeMore podcast.
(01:08):
This is a podcast aboutmarriage, bible and book studies
(01:45):
, and we interview people withan inspiring story.
I'm Daniel Moore, your host,and I've got Michelle, my
beautiful wife, sitting in herewith me today.
Hey guys, we're going to begoing through another episode.
We thank you for joining usthis week.
If you're not familiar with ourshow, check out our website at
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Our YouTube and Rumble linksare there.
(02:05):
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Give us a thumbs up or afive-star review on Apple
Podcasts, and we would thank youtremendously for doing that, as
(02:27):
that helps our podcast to grow.
And, of course, the wholereason we do this is to try to
help you guys or if you knowpeople that have marital
situations going on in theirlife.
We just pray that somethingthat Michelle and I share here
each time that we're doing anepisode, that it would help you
in your walk with God and as hewalks with you through your
marriages.
(02:47):
Well, last week we started offthe final law of the four laws
of love, and that was the law ofpurity, and we kind of got a
little bit of an introductioninto that law last week and then
we ran out of time, just likewe do sometimes, and so we're
going to pick up this week wherewe stopped last week and we're
(03:08):
going to be talking this weekabout the seven steps to purity
in marriage.
So this week, as we start off,we're going to be going through
seven steps of how we can havepurity in our marriage and, of
course, last week, as we weretalking, a lot of times when
(03:30):
people think about purity, theythink of it as being pure in
your sexual orientation, of thedating process and all that.
But in all reality, puritydoesn't just mean the sex side
of things, and we talked alittle bit about the naked
marriage, about how we have tobe open with our spouses, open
(03:50):
with our partners and to theextent that each one of us knows
each other inside and out.
And a lot of times when we getinto marriages and stuff happens
, life happens.
Sometimes it even starts at thevery beginning of the marriage.
We just don't understand that wehave to be open and exposed to
our other partner or our otherspouse and we'll have a tendency
(04:13):
of kind of clamming up andholding secrets and not saying
things to our spouses like weshould be and that can cause
issues in our marriages assecrets are exposed.
It can definitely cause anissue with the relationships at
that point, because the trustfactor comes in and some of the
other things is, if you'rehiding something from a spouse
(04:36):
and they find out about it Iknow for myself the first thing
I would think is well, I wonderwhat else they're hiding.
It just kind of starts puttingthat doubt in your mind and
those questions there, and itmight be the only thing that you
never shared.
But from the spouse'sstandpoint the opposite spouse's
standpoint they don't know thatRight, all they know is that,
hey, you had a secret and younever told me about that.
And so then it can start thatproblem there, where you have
(05:00):
those issues of transparency.
Aria (05:06):
And so being pure, in your
marriage.
Daniel Moore (05:07):
it covers a lot of
aspects of the marriage, and so
this week we want to give youseven steps on how you can
actually build up a firmfoundation underneath that
purity in our marriage.
And Michelle is going to goahead and start here with the
very first step of purity inmarriage.
Michelle Moore (05:26):
So number one is
take responsibility for your
own behavior.
Don't focus primarily on yourspouse.
Focus on yourself.
You cannot change his or herbehavior, but you can change
your own behavior with God'shelp, just as Jesus expressed it
(05:48):
when we judge others, we aretrying to remove a speck from
someone else's eye while we havea plank in our own, and that's
from Luke 6, 41 and 42.
Take responsibility for yourown words and actions and build
an atmosphere of purity andtrust from your side.
(06:10):
First and I know this wassomething really, really hard
for me, just simply because ofmy personality, I think when I
get angry, my red comes out inme and it's all your fault, and
so I really struggled with thatfor a long time.
And then, when he did somethingwrong and was hiding stuff from
(06:33):
me, it was like it was provento me Like you know, you are
getting what you deserve, and itreally wasn't.
Until we started working onthings, it was really like God
changed me, changed my heart,changed the way I see things,
changed the way that you want meto look at my spouse, changed
(06:54):
everything about it, because Iknew I had bitterness and I
couldn't do any of that withoutasking for Him to change me.
I couldn't do any of thatwithout asking for Him to change
me.
But, honestly, if you reallysit there and you think about
that scripture, we have no rightto judge anybody.
Daniel Moore (07:17):
We have to focus
on ourself, because I can
guarantee you we all sin, and nosin is different than any other
sin.
Michelle Moore (07:21):
So you need to
focus on yourself.
And so now it's easier.
For me, it's like oh, I'm sorry, you know, I shouldn't have
said it that way or I shouldn'thave done it that way.
You know, and even to otherpeople I'll be the first to say,
even, as you know, when I wasmanaging people, I'm not one of
those bosses that will be likeyou know, hey, that was your
(07:42):
fault, when I knew in the backof my head it was you know, not,
it was mine, I made thatdecision.
But you can ask anybody thatworked for me.
I'm definitely going to be like, hey, I'm sorry, I take
responsibility for that.
It wasn't them.
Or, you know, if it's somethingI done, you have to take
responsibility.
You need to focus on yourself,acknowledge that.
(08:06):
You know I mean, what do youthink of that one?
Daniel Moore (08:08):
I think that we
can spend a lifetime trying to
change another person and it maynever happen.
And I think you know, a lot oftimes in relationships and even
you know this even goes, likeyou said, even with work
relationships or friendships ingeneral you know this even goes,
like you said, even with workrelationships or friendships in
general it's easy to point thefinger and blame the other
person and want to try tocorrect them and it seems like
(08:42):
the deeper that we get into thatprocess of trying to change
that other person and formulatethem into the person that you
want them to be, like they'reclay in your hand.
You know, putty, we more andmore forget our own problems.
We start having this Godcomplex, I guess, is the best
way to put it.
We think that everything thatyou know we didn't do nothing
wrong, it's all them and we justwant to sit there and blame
them for that.
And in some cases maybe oneperson did do 99% of the issue
and the other person was, youknow, for the most part maybe
(09:04):
innocent, but I find it hard tobelieve that either side is
going to be 100% innocent everytime there's going to have to be
some type of an issue there.
And even David, you know, whileyou're sitting here, you know,
opening this up talking aboutwhat you were, you know David
was a man that was after God'sown heart.
His whole life he spent chasingGod, wanting to know God.
(09:28):
What is my plan for my life?
What is it that you want me todo?
David spent time and time againjust worshiping and lifting
praises to God, but even inPsalm 139, david realized that
he had some issues within hisown self that needed fixed, and
he told God to search my heart,lord, and look into the deepest
(09:50):
crevices, the corners, theclosets, all those different
places that I may have somethinghidden in there that could
cause an issue with myself or anissue with the relationship.
Search me, lord, and show methose places and renew that
right spirit within me, renew myheart within me, and I think
that, as all of us, asindividuals, first of all need
(10:12):
to have that kind of an outlookon their life, we need to be
constantly asking God to searchus and to clean out our closets,
and then we do need to pray forour partners, our spouses, our
friends, whoever it may be thatyou know.
Maybe God would just be withthem and show a little light to
them on their circumstances, notin a blaming sort of way, but
(10:33):
just, you know, pray God'sblessing over them and thank him
for the change that he can doin both sides.
Aria (10:40):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (10:41):
And let God work
all of that out.
Michelle Moore (10:43):
So when we first
got married, do you feel like
you came into the marriagewanting to, like, somewhat
change me a little bit?
I mean because I feel like whenwe first got married I was
marrying the man of my dreams.
I was like you know, this is mybest friend, I love him the way
he is.
I mean, I know, being marriedonce already I knew we were
(11:03):
going to be different from eachother, but I didn't feel like I
wanted to change you in anything.
Daniel Moore (11:09):
No, I think
honestly.
I think both of us.
I know for myself, I can speakfor myself, obviously, but
you've also spoken what you felt.
I think that when I came in, Ididn't think you had anything to
change.
I was marrying who I loved andwanted to be with.
I just had my issues.
And when I bring in the issues,that creates issues, just like
(11:32):
last week we were talking about.
One person can't have a sin ina relationship and expect it not
to affect the other.
It's going to be a snowballeffect and it's eventually going
to affect the wholerelationship.
And I think that's whathappened with us, because now,
as time went along and I startedgetting irritated and
aggravated with stuff that wasgoing on, yes, I came to a point
(11:53):
where this needs fixed and thisneeds fixed and this needs
changed.
You know that laundry liststarted building.
Yeah, I agree with that, and I'mstarting to try to sit there
and check all this stuff off.
Michelle Moore (12:03):
I think that
should have been a warning sign
for both of us.
Daniel Moore (12:05):
It should have,
because it didn't start that way
.
Michelle Moore (12:08):
No.
Daniel Moore (12:09):
And so if you see
a huge change happen like that,
especially if those issues causeanger or they cause frustration
, they become a distraction ofwhat the marriage was all about
the day that we walked down theaisle.
When you start having stuff likethat pop up, that starts to
become like a fence between thetwo, becomes an offense
(12:32):
basically, and it causes adivision and that chasm starts
widening the longer it goesbecause it's not getting fixed.
That really is a flag and thatis something that needs to be
taken care of.
But you hear time and timeagain you'll hear about people
that will pray for their spouseto change, they'll pray for a
(12:55):
relationship to change andthey'll do it for years, and
then you'll hear them say thatone day they got down to pray
and they realized they justneeded to ask God to change them
.
When God answered that prayerand they changed that person
individually and they gave Godthe other.
All of a sudden they startedseeing turnarounds, they started
(13:15):
seeing things changing and Ithink we forget a lot of times
that we spend more time focusedon the other person and how we
can make them perfect, while wesit over here and stir in our
own problems and issues andnever try to fix ourselves, and
that is not the way that Godcreated that to be.
Michelle Moore (13:34):
Well, let me ask
you this and this is way off
the script, but what happens andthis is our personal opinion,
this is not from Jimmy Evans'book, it's just a question
that's popped up in my head whatwould you say to a couple who
are married and one or the otherspouse will not take
responsibility for their ownbehavior?
(13:55):
At what point?
I mean, we both were kind ofthat way, we both were kind of
that way, but what if one spouseis like really seeking God and
that other spouse does not?
Daniel Moore (14:20):
I mean they will
not accept what they've done or
they don't want to takeresponsibility for what they
have done or spoke.
Well first of all, you know wedo need to utilize good
Christian counseling if at allpossible.
I do know sometimes, though,that spouses won't go.
I mean honestly I'm going to betransparent here.
At one point in our marriage,when we were having problems, I
probably wouldn't have went.
There's pride.
And you have to cut that pridedown and be humble and really
(14:42):
have a desire inside of you tomake sure this is fixed.
And again it comes back to Iwas going to have to take
responsibility, that I was partof the problem and I needed some
counseling help to fix that.
Yeah, and I probably never atone point in my marriage before
to you do.
I think that I would haveprobably ever allowed that
because I'm too proud and so Iwould have had to have gotten
(15:04):
over that first of all.
Now, if that is the case wherethat spouse there's just nothing
counseling, talking to a pastor, going to church nothing works.
That spouse just sits at homeand stews and stirs and just
continually lives in thisdysfunction.
The other spouse really justhas to keep praying.
They got to keep being thatexample.
(15:26):
They've got to keep God firstin what they do.
It comes back to this.
They're going to takeresponsibility for themselves.
At that point, let God work onthe marriage because it's beyond
our care.
At that point you can't makesomebody love you.
You can't make somebody changeand go back the way that they
were at the very beginning.
(15:47):
You can't force them to do that, just like you know, god
doesn't force us to be aChristian Right right.
He does not force that on us.
And so in the marriage it's thesame way.
Now God doesn't want us toimmediately jump to the divorce
lawyer and start filingimmediately when that happens.
Michelle Moore (16:05):
That shouldn't
be even— that should not be in
the equation.
That word shouldn't be spoken,right.
Daniel Moore (16:09):
That seems to be
what happens a lot.
You see a lot of couples usethat as their rectification of
the issue.
But we've got to give God sometime to work and I have seen
marriages before that never gotfixed until the day that one of
the spouses passed away.
But I truly think that thatChristian spouse that stuck
there through the thick and thinand continually put up with
(16:32):
that their whole life they mayhave not have had the happiest
marriage and I feel sorry forpeople that get stuck in that,
but I think that if that wasGod's will that they stay there
for whatever reason, God's goingto reward that someday.
When they get to heaven.
We have to look at it eternally.
Michelle Moore (16:49):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (16:49):
We can't look at
it materialistically and wallow
in our tears.
It's upsetting, it's hard todeal with.
I know it's not easy.
Aria (16:59):
Right.
Daniel Moore (16:59):
And that's
something that somebody has to
work and deal with when they'regoing through that.
That's something that somebodyhas to work and deal with when
they're going through that.
But in all reality, I thinkthat just reading the Word and
knowing what God says abouteverything, he tells us that he
is with us, by our side, 24-7.
In Hebrews it says He'll neverleave us or forsake us and he is
constantly there.
(17:20):
He knows our situation, heknows how to fix it, he knows
what we need as an individual,and we need to leave that in
God's hands.
Michelle Moore (17:28):
And I love that
how you said.
You know it's not.
We're not looking at itmaterialistically, we are
looking at it as internally andwe forget that a lot of times.
So that's a good word.
I really that was really good.
I just I wanted to just throwthat out there, because that
does happen, like you said,we've seen it.
So I just wanted to throw thatout there for someone that may
(17:51):
be listening and you may begoing through that Definitely.
You know Dan had some greatadvice.
Daniel Moore (17:57):
As Ephesians says,
stand firm.
Michelle Moore (17:59):
Yes, yes.
Daniel Moore (18:00):
No matter what
comes your way, and it's not
going to be easy.
Yes, no matter what comes yourway and it's not going to be
easy.
I totally understand that.
But God has a plan and juststand firm and he'll bless you
for everything you're goingthrough.
You'll be rewarded.
Michelle Moore (18:12):
That's so good,
so good.
Daniel Moore (18:17):
So the second one
here is do not return sin for
sin.
This is a fun one.
Get a retaliation.
You did this to me and I'mgoing to back and I'm gonna do
it even worse.
Isn't that the human way ofthinking?
But god's word tells us toreturn evil with good.
Take that one on and, you know,chew on that for a while and I
(18:38):
think god was such a greatexample or not.
Michelle Moore (18:41):
you know, jesus,
like you know, I just I think I
always think of him when you,when this comes up, I mean
because I'm like how in theworld did he do that?
You know, because we're human.
Daniel Moore (18:54):
Yeah.
So, yeah, he told us to evenlove our enemies, and that was
Luke, chapter six, where youread the scripture from earlier
Revenge and retaliation neversolves the problem in marriage.
Those attitudes and behaviorsonly perpetuate a problem and
make it worse.
You can only defeat a spiritwith the opposite spirit.
And this is exactly where thecontext comes from the scripture
(19:16):
that Jesus was talking aboutwhen he told us to love our
enemies.
Because when you fight firewith a fire you're going to get
a bigger fire.
You have to make sure that youput water on that fire.
You got to put some kind of asuppressant that's going to
knock that fire out.
And whenever we have issues inmarriage and we start coming at
each other and it starts comingdown to maybe almost being a
(19:38):
literal fist fight.
We know we can't do that as amarried couple.
That's not healthy, that is notthe way to solve that problem.
But yet a lot of people willalmost get clear to the point of
a fistfight and they'veactually gotten fistfights
before.
Now you hear sometimes ofhusbands throwing their wives in
the walls and throwing themover furniture and whatever.
(19:59):
It gets very abusive at thatpoint and that is not what God's
intention was for marriage atall.
It should never get that far,and whenever we look at this
biblically, we have to make surethat we understand that even
though wrong is done towards us,that does not give us the
(20:19):
ticket or the pass to go aheadand do the same Right Back to
that person.
So in our marriage.
Do you ever recall trying toretaliate against me for
something that I did withsomething that you did back to
me during our marriage?
Or did everything just happenbecause our marriage was failing
(20:39):
?
Michelle Moore (20:40):
I think it's.
Everything happened because ourmarriage was failing.
It wasn't.
I did this out of retaliationor anything like that.
Now, as a kid, yeah you know,I'd do stuff to get my brothers
in trouble all the time.
You know it's like he did thisand he really didn't.
But I don't think in ourmarriage, no, I mean, I don't
feel like.
I mean there may have been timeor two that you'd say something
(21:03):
and I would retaliate back.
Daniel Moore (21:05):
may have been time
or two that you'd say something
and I would retaliate back andyou know, say some other things
that were not More of a war ofwords?
Michelle Moore (21:13):
Yeah, yeah, and
I mean I don't feel like.
I mean, you know, by the timethe affair started, you know, I
was at the point I couldn'tstand you, I hated you, you know
.
So it really nothing fazed mewhen that part was there.
So I don't feel like I did thatout of retaliation, but you
know.
Daniel Moore (21:34):
But I know the
words were like definitely with
me and you, I mean I and I willsay that at one point in time
I'm not going to lie that itcrossed my mind, especially when
the affair was going on thatthere was a time or two that I
thought, well, maybe I shouldjust go have an affair on her
(21:55):
and retaliate back.
That thought did cross my minda few times, but fortunately in
my mind I knew that wasn't goingto solve the problem, so I
never did do that.
But how many people do do that?
Yeah, I mean it happens all thetime because, as we've talked
about here, from the verybeginning, when we first got
(22:15):
married, we married best friendsbasically, and so you don't
expect it to go south and go ona bad path.
But when it does happen it canreally make you.
The mind games can just makeyou do stuff you would never do
otherwise.
Yeah, you know it puts you in astate of disarray in your mind
(22:37):
and you start doing things thatreally, in all reality, you say
well, that's not me, you know, Ireally I would not do something
like that, but yet here I amdoing it.
Michelle Moore (22:46):
Yeah, you know
and I think we've talked about
some of the words that I'vespoken was not me.
I'm like where did that comefrom?
You know so.
Daniel Moore (22:53):
So when we dig
into that, we realize that all
that stuff comes from the pit ofhell.
Aria (22:57):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (22:57):
It's Satan
manipulating and putting his
hand in the middle of it andtwisting and turning those knots
and tightening them and causingus to cause that divide even
more and tear up that marriageeven more, and that's what Satan
wants us to do.
But in all reality, when welook at it God's way and the way
(23:18):
that he wants us to handle it,even if your spouse does
something really bad against you, something that you would think
they would never, ever do—and Iknow I hate seeing people go
through this situation butyou'll see people that deal with
multiple affairs, but yetthey'll stay there.
Their spouse will cheat on themmultiple times and they will
(23:41):
stay there.
My first insinuation on that isyou just need to leave.
I mean this is ridiculous.
That's my human way of lookingat it.
But biblically, when you lookat it, god tells us that we
don't return evil for that.
We return good for that evil.
We don't return evil for evil.
Michelle Moore (24:00):
We turn the
other cheek, and in human eyes
that is so hard.
Daniel Moore (24:06):
Yes, extremely
hard.
Michelle Moore (24:07):
I mean I just I
look at that and I that's the
reason why I said at the verybeginning, I'm like it just
blows my mind of how Jesuswalked.
And you know, now I think he'salso.
He's a loving God, but he'salso a God of judgment, you know
.
And so I mean I think that wecan love our enemies and give it
(24:30):
to God and he's going to takecare of it, you know, and I do
think that Jesus was a greatexample walking on this earth,
with the things that he walkedthrough.
But yet sometimes it's justhumanly, you just can't fathom
it Like it really is.
Just, I mean, to me it's crazy.
I mean there's not so much now,now that my relationship with
(24:54):
Christ is where it should be,you know, because there are
things that it's easier for meto forgive and move on.
Where you sometimes will havethat issue of I'm not going to
forgive, you know you'll forgivethat person, but you're not
going to forget it.
And I think now, because ouralignment with Christ is a lot
(25:15):
different than where it was whenwe were married, going through
our issues, I think again, ifGod was the center of it, we
wouldn't have walked through allthat.
Daniel Moore (25:24):
Yeah, so we have
to just make up our mind that
we're not going to sin inresponse to anything that our
spouse says or does, and thatway our behavior can be used by
God to help the spouse respectand trust you.
The power of love andrighteousness is greater than
the power of evil and we're notobviously in any way saying that
(25:45):
you need to make yourself apassive target for abuse.
Michelle Moore (25:48):
No.
Daniel Moore (25:49):
We've talked about
this before.
God does not ever intendsomebody to stay in an abusive
relationship where they'regetting beat up, hurt and
physically altered in any way.
That is not God's plan formarriage and you do need to seek
help for that.
If that's the case, thensometimes you have to get away
from that person.
There's no other option.
So you're not opening yourselfup just to be a passive target
(26:12):
to that, and God does not expectyou to just let somebody sit
there and pound on you.
That's not what we're sayinghere.
But if you're being abused byyour spouse, you need to seek
protection and deal with thatimmediately.
That's not something that youplay around with.
But even if we aren't beingabused, all of us suffer in
marriage because we're allimperfect.
Michelle Moore (26:29):
Right.
Daniel Moore (26:30):
None of us are
perfect.
We all have our issues.
We've got our dirt, we've gotour secrets and skeletons in the
closet.
We've got all this stuff thatwe have throughout our lifetime,
and so we all have to rememberthat we're all really on equal
level playing grounds and as wesuffer because of our spouse's
behavior, we must choose toeither deal with it righteously
(26:50):
and trust God for the results,or take the matter into our own
hands and justify bad behavior.
That's really the only twochoices you have, and we must
use right behavior at all timesand trust God to reward us and
to change our spouses.
Yeah, it's not, and notice thatlittle line there is God
changes the spouse.
Yeah, it's not us changing ourspouse.
(27:11):
That's not how that works.
But the person who believes thistruth and puts it into practice
will be blessed, and the personwho doesn't believe or act on
this truth will be bruised andbattered in a lifelong exchange
of evil for evil.
That's what you'll live in forthe remainder of your marriage
if you decide to attack it bytaking a lie and replacing that
(27:32):
with a lie and attack each otherconstantly.
The third one is admit yourfaults.
The heartfelt, sincereexpression I'm sorry, I was
wrong, will you forgive me.
That can heal a marriagequicker than almost anything
(27:52):
else.
Michelle Moore (27:53):
Absolutely.
Daniel Moore (27:54):
However, the
person who refuses to say he or
she is sorry is going to sufferin marriage, and sometimes both
parties in a marriage will notadmit their faults and when that
happens you have a majorproblem going on.
But John wrote in chapter 1,verse 9 in 1 John, if we confess
our sins, he is faithful andjust and will forgive us our
sins and purify us from allunrighteousness.
(28:15):
So if we admit our faults toGod, he'll forgive us.
Jesus died on the cross to payfor our sins.
Therefore, when we have sinnedagainst God, we don't have to
pay for them or do penance.
However, we must honestlyconfess our sin to Him.
And so, again, here we're seeinga mirror of the relationship we
have with Jesus and therelationship we have in a
(28:36):
marriage.
We don't get forgiveness fromGod unless we ask Him and tell
Him we're sorry and unless weconfess our sins to Him.
And the same way goes with ourmarriages.
I can never expect you to youknow forgive me for something if
I don't ever admit that I waswrong and ask you to forgive me,
and something if I don't everadmit that I was wrong and ask
you to forgive me and tell youthat I'm sorry.
Michelle Moore (28:56):
So what happens
if you have a couple that both
are never wrong?
Daniel Moore (29:02):
Well, it comes
back to one we just talked about
earlier.
If you have one that's neverwrong, then they're not taking
responsibility for their ownbehaviors and they're going to
constantly just fight againsteach other nonstop.
They're never going to have aresolution to anything.
Because I think whenever youhave two couples, or when you
have a couple, two individualpeople that are constantly going
(29:25):
at each other like that, thatstarts to become a critical
spirit.
So I think what happens then?
You know how we talked beforeabout the difference between
criticizing and complaining.
Well, whenever you have twospouses that are sitting there
not willing to admit each onehas an issue or a problem, there
has to be a lot of criticizinggoing on in that relationship.
(29:47):
Because there's got to be a lotof finger pointing going on,
because if you're not willing toadmit that you were wrong and
the other spouse is, you know,accusing you of something, well
they're automatically going tobe criticizing you.
You did this and you did that,and that caused this and that.
And that's not a place we needto be, because we're pronouncing
(30:07):
judgment on that other spouseright off the beginning.
Michelle Moore (30:10):
Have you ever
apologized for something when it
really wasn't your fault?
In our marriage?
Daniel Moore (30:17):
I probably have.
I can't really think ofanything off the top of my head,
but I do know that at thispoint in our marriage I will
tell you.
If I did something wrong, Iapologize.
Oh, absolutely, before I sitthere and drag it through the
mud.
Yeah, I've learned that lesson.
Michelle Moore (30:32):
Yeah, and I
don't.
I mean right now I don't feellike either one of us.
I mean I think we pretty muchwe hit it head on, like you know
, and we don't really have thatmuch because we I mean we've
been married 23 years and we'vebeen through everything that I
feel like you know.
Now we know we utilize thetools and we utilize our
(30:55):
relationship with Christ, I meanright off the bat, like it's.
And a lot of times if it'ssomething like I'm a blue
personality, so I'll let thingskind of swirl in my head a
little bit and I can take and mychildren will tell you this if
you text me something I'm likeare they being condescending,
are they just being funny?
You know what is this?
And I can sit there and runthat through my mind multiple
(31:18):
times.
And if Dan will text mesomething I'm like is he being
sarcastic, is he mad?
Like I will sit there and stewover it.
Then I'm finally like you knowwhat?
God, I plead the blood over mymind to stop this, because that
is not what you want to do.
And then I'll just we'll eithertalk or we'll call, same with
my kids, or my daughter knows mevery well She'll just put like
(31:41):
hey, this is not, I'm not mad oranything, because she'll know,
because I will sit there and youknow, stew over things and I
feel like you know we're 10times better than what we've
ever been like, as incommunication and forgiveness
and addressing it completely.
Daniel Moore (31:58):
Well, if you walk
around with it on your shoulders
, I know for me I feel weight,if I even if I don't feel like
I'm 100 percent in the wrongyeah, if I look at you and I say
, hey, we probably shouldn'thave let that happen between us,
and if I had an issue in that,I'm sorry.
Aria (32:12):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (32:13):
That just lifts
the weight off my shoulders
immediately.
Yeah, I mean, it just resetsthe whole stage for everything,
and I think that also invitesyou to then come back.
Well, yeah, that was probably alittle too much, you know, I
apologize also or vice versa.
Yeah, I think that that opensthe door for the other spouse at
that point to go ahead andadmit.
You know.
Well, I was probably part ofthat issue as well and we just
(32:35):
need to fix this.
Michelle Moore (32:36):
And I think
that's the communication, yeah,
I mean between you and I.
I cannot say enough.
When you admit that somethingis bothering you or you
apologize for it, you arecommunicating that to your
spouse and you're not holding itin.
That's what our issue was fromthe very beginning.
(32:57):
Dan would not talk to me.
So, remember, by apologizingand speaking up and you're
communicating.
That's a step for a lot ofpeople that have not had that.
Daniel Moore (33:08):
So yeah, and you
know, even if you are the first
one to step out and apologize,even if your other spouse
doesn't respond positively orchange their mind or whatever,
just remember that we all haveto admit our mistakes, just to
make sure that we're rightbefore.
Michelle Moore (33:23):
God Right,
you're exactly right.
Daniel Moore (33:25):
So good of being
right just before our spouse,
but we have to do that anyways,you know, just to be make sure
that we're on the right planeswith what God wants for us in
our life and where he wants usto be.
So James, chapter four, versesix, says God opposes the proud
but gives grace to the humble.
And it also says in James five,16,.
(33:47):
Therefore, confess your sins toeach other and pray for each
other so that you may be healed.
So biblically it shows to getthat healing we need to be able
to pray for each other andconfess our sins to each other.
And I think, like I was sayinga while ago how I feel, that
weight lifts off.
That's the healing that Ineeded for that moment.
And God gave that to me becauseI was apologetic and I humbled
(34:10):
myself and took someresponsibility for what was
taking place.
Aria (34:14):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (34:15):
The next one is
really hard.
It's that one nasty wordforgive.
Michelle Moore (34:22):
It's not a nasty
word.
Let me tell you.
Daniel Moore (34:24):
No, it's not, but
a lot of people have a hard time
with it.
Michelle Moore (34:28):
I think we're
opposite of this kind of a
little bit.
Daniel Moore (34:31):
Yeah, so Michelle
and I, we've both had a huge
thing to forgive each other for.
Aria (34:36):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (34:38):
So for most of you
that have listened to our
testimony, you remember shewanted a child with us and I
played Jacob in Esau.
I played Jacob in the scenarioand tricked her into thinking
that she didn't have a choice inme getting fixed because I
didn't want a child.
With all the circumstances ofthe marriage at that time and
(34:58):
all the stuff that was going on,I made an executive decision
that that was not on my radarand so I decided that I was
going to get fixed.
I wouldn't have to worry aboutit and even have an accident,
and I tricked Michelle intothinking she didn't have a
choice.
I went and got that done andtook something huge away from
her that she had wanted for ourmarriage.
(35:20):
It was a devastating blow toher side of our marriage.
Well then later you had theaffair and that went on for
close to a year and I had tocome back from that, from the
whole process of that, from whenit very first kind of started
going that direction until itcompletely ended.
(35:40):
It was kind of a long, not thatthe affair itself lasted that
whole time, but just theattitude, and we had about a
year there.
That was really bad.
Yeah, I guess is the best wayto put that.
And in the middle of that wasthe affair.
I had to figure out a way forbad yeah, I guess is the best
way to put that.
And in the middle of that wasthe affair.
I had to figure out a way forforgiveness at that point,
because do I end the marriagebecause of this or do we do?
(36:01):
We move on?
So we both, and that's not evenall.
I mean, we've had other stuffthat we've had to forgive each
other for because we were kindof brutal to each other in many
ways, to forgive each other for,because we were kind of brutal
to each other in many ways.
But the Bible says in Matthew 6,14 and 15, it says if you
forgive men when they sinagainst you, your heavenly
(36:21):
Father also forgives you.
But if you do not forgive mentheir sins, your Father will not
forgive your sins.
So forgiving other people is aserious issue with God and he
repeatedly says these types ofscriptures throughout the New
Testament and there's manyplaces where we're instructed
and warned concerningforgiveness.
And he also says in Hebrewsthat he not only told us that we
(36:48):
would not be forgiven if we donot forgive others, but he also
tells us that unforgivenesspoisons our hearts.
That's pretty rough when youthink of it that way, and it
does.
That's a scary place to be.
So if you've ever been aroundunforgiving people, you surely
have heard them speak venomouswords concerning the people they
resent.
Unforgiveness shows on our facesand our words and in our
(37:09):
actions.
It's just really hard to hideunforgiveness, and our words and
our actions.
It's just really hard to hideunforgiveness.
And so, from your side of it,how did you forgive me for the
stuff that I did to the pointwhere we was actually able to
restore our marriage?
What do you think was thetrigger for you that made you
decide, okay, I'm.
I think Daniel's really sorryand I think Daniel's really
(37:30):
wanting to work on this, and Ido love him.
I think Daniel's really sorryand I think Daniel's really
wanting to work on this and I dolove him.
I think I'm going to try tomake this work.
Michelle Moore (37:38):
So what do you
think brought you to that point?
I will tell you that it wasn'tme, it was God, totally, 100%
God, and what we talked aboutearlier was praying that God
changes you.
And that's where I really gotdown and sought God's you know
(38:00):
His wisdom.
First I came to Him and I'mlike forgive me, you know,
forgive me for what I've done,because one I harbored
bitterness toward you.
I had the affair.
There was multiple things thatI had to go before God and ask
for His forgiveness.
And then it was like okay, god,you're going to have to change
(38:24):
my heart so that I can see Danthe way you see him.
Because it was that, because Ifeel like God totally changed my
heart.
You guys, I'm not when I say Ihated Daniel.
I cannot explain how much Icould not stand him and the
words that I said was not me byany means, but he had hurt me so
(38:49):
much that there was so muchhatred there For God to change
that and I truly, 100% believethat God, when I came to Him and
said, change my heart, that Iwas vulnerable to the fact that
I allowed Him to change it.
It wasn't like a quick switch,it was over time, but it was
(39:13):
like.
Here I am.
I've made all these mistakes,but you loved me.
Change my heart, because I dolove you.
I loved you, but I had to beable to wipe all that away and
not bring it back up.
Daniel Moore (39:29):
Yep, I think the
key there is God had to change
us because that's you know, forme it was the same way, Although
I did too.
I took some responsibility.
Michelle Moore (39:38):
Oh yeah.
Daniel Moore (39:40):
Because I knew I
took some of the blame I guess
is really the word I should saybecause of things that I did in
the past.
You know, in some ways, whenall of the healing started and
we started trying to make thingswork again in my mind and this
isn't true, you should neverthink this about yourself but I
(40:02):
told myself that I deserved alittle bit of what came along
because of the way I had actedat the beginning of the marriage
.
Now we know that nobodydeserves anything like that.
Regardless, just as we talkedearlier, you don't do a sin with
a sin.
You know that's not how thatworks, but in our mind frame
that's how we look at it.
Sometimes, especially, I see alot of female spouses that go
(40:25):
through that They'll allow theirhusbands to be abusive verbally
abusive or whatever, andsomewhere deep inside them they
feel like they deserve it.
You hear that story so manytimes.
Nobody deserves that.
Nobody deserves to be treated.
God created marriage as a happyunion full of joy for both
spouses.
It wasn't just a one-sidedrelationship.
(40:45):
God didn't give all theblessing to the guy.
You have all the fun and allthe joy and whatever, and the
wife's just going to submit toyou and do whatever you want to
with her and don't worry abouther feelings.
That's not how God donemarriage.
He wants both sides to enjoythat union between each other.
Nobody deserves anything fromeither side.
You both have to takeresponsibility for your issues
(41:06):
and your problems.
You both have to forgive.
You know the poison that talkedabout, the poison of
unforgiveness.
That poison hurts the vesselthat it's in more than it does
the person that you spit on.
So, in essence, what that'ssaying is is you can hold
unforgiveness in you all youwant to.
The only person that's reallydamaging the most is you oh yeah
.
Your yourself is the one thathas to fix that If you don't fix
(41:30):
it, that's going to continueright into your marriage and
cause issues in that marriagefor as long as you harbor that
unforgiveness in your heart.
And you know, a lot of timesspouses become whipping posts or
the outlet for anger andfrustration harbored against
others.
You know if you have bosses orexes or ex-friends, ex-lovers,
(41:51):
siblings, relatives, all thesedifferent aspects in life that
can come in and just cause allthese issues if we're not
careful, we take it out on thepeople that are closest to us.
Michelle Moore (42:00):
That's what, yes
.
Daniel Moore (42:01):
And that is your
spouse Especially in marriage.
Yes, we should never do that,because that spouse isn't
responsible for all the outsideriffraff that's going on.
You have to learn to deal withthat within your own self.
Use the spouse maybe actuallyas a sounding board to say how
can I fix this, and maybe yougot some good words of wisdom
(42:22):
for me.
Michelle Moore (42:23):
Actually, what's
funny is you just said that was
the exact thought in my mind,the reason why we love each
other so much.
Because we think of it like weread each other like a book.
Yes, yes so what you just said.
It was what I was getting readyto say, so way to go, babe.
Daniel Moore (42:37):
Well there's, you
have to be able.
It's a partnership.
Aria (42:40):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (42:41):
So if one spouse
is having some major dysfunction
in an area of their life,whether it's their job or
whatever it may be, use theother spouse for some words of
wisdom.
Yeah, and pray through ittogether.
Michelle Moore (42:56):
And there's been
times that Dan and I this is
where we kind of differ a littlebit.
I'm very easily to forgivesomething and move on Like it's
just like okay, whatever youknow.
Daniel Moore (43:06):
And Dan, on the
other hand, yeah, it takes me a
little bit to let it go.
I'm getting better.
Michelle Moore (43:12):
He has done so.
God has worked so much in hisheart on this particular subject
.
I mean, he has done so goodwith it.
I'm just so proud of himbecause there has been times
that some people have done uswrong and it's easy to hey, I'm
going to forgive you, but I'mnot going to let it go.
(43:32):
But he has a wife that cheershim on all the time, like, hey,
let's you.
You know, just forget it, let'smove on, let's go do something
with them.
You know it's like, oh, let'sdo this.
And he's just like, looking atme like I'm insane.
But let's go back to thatscripture, you know, back in
matthew, for if you forgive menwhen they sin against you, your
(43:53):
heavenly father will alsoforgive you.
But if you do not forgive menof their sins, your Father will
not forgive your sins.
Daniel Moore (44:00):
Yeah.
So we're going to move on fromthis one, but there's a few
little points here that we wantto drop real quick.
There's some important steps onto getting forgiveness.
Number one is release theguilty person from your judgment
.
Do not keep rehearsing thatoffense in your mind.
That one's good.
You've got to let God be thejudge.
It's not our place to judgethat.
Fix yourself, forgive, ask forforgiveness, whatever it takes
(44:28):
to get that weight off of yourshoulders and put it at God's
feet and let him handle that.
Secondly is love the person whohas offended you.
You know.
Let your behavior reflect yourdecision to forgive.
That's a hard one to do as well, because if that person's
really done a lot to you, it'seasy to harbor that hatred and
let it grow.
Thirdly, bless and pray forthat person.
Jesus told us to bless thosewho curse us and to pray for
(44:51):
those who mistreat us in Luke,chapter 6, verse 28.
This is actually one of themost powerful ways to change
negative feeling.
This is actually one of themost powerful ways to change
negative feeling.
Deep resentment and hurt turnsto love and compassion as words
of blessing and prayer arespoken over those who have
wronged us, even if they don'tapologize.
Aria (45:08):
Take that one and chew on
that for a little bit.
Daniel Moore (45:11):
When they don't
apologize to you or ask for your
forgiveness and they continueto hold you in contempt and they
continue to say that it's yourfault.
It's hard to pray over thatperson and want them to be
blessed.
That's just not the naturalthing, and I know Pastor.
Michelle Moore (45:28):
John has
preached on this numerous times.
Yeah, he has.
Daniel Moore (45:29):
There's a lot of
truth in that.
Michelle Moore (45:31):
Yes.
Daniel Moore (45:32):
As we bless those
that have hurt us, God heals our
own hearts and memories.
We've got to remember that forevery action there's a reaction.
Yep, hurt us.
God heals our own hearts andmemories.
We've got to remember that forevery action there's a reaction.
So if we take care of theissues within our own house,
then God's going to bless us,regardless of what's going
outside in the yard.
He's going to bless us for thethings that we do.
Number four here is do notbring up the hurt in the future.
(45:53):
And that's a very difficult one, because we always like to
rehash and we like to throwthings back in people's face.
And just when we think it's allpast us and it's all behind us
and somebody gets mad at us orwe get mad at them, all of a
sudden it's like well, youremember that one time that you
did this, and here we go again.
(46:14):
We're rehashing all that stuffall over again.
That's not true forgiveness.
No.
When God forgives us, heremoves our sins as far from the
east to the west, Right right.
In Psalms 103.12.
Michelle Moore (46:25):
And can I make a
comment on this?
I think a big thing on this,one right quick, is you know, if
you're a spouse that wants torehash those and you have that
in your mind, you need to pleadthe blood, because that is not
God, because it's been forgiven,it's moved away.
That is Satan attacking you andyou just need to say God.
(46:45):
You know, help my mind.
I plead the blood over it.
This is not from you.
I know that.
We're past that.
Daniel Moore (46:52):
Right, and
although we can't erase things
from our memories, we can atleast make a decision not to
bring up the past offenses.
Yep, and that's a choice thatwe have to do.
You know, god doesn't simplyforgive.
He forgets, yeah, what we'vedone, absolutely, and so it's up
to us.
He can do that, he can give usthe power, yep, to overcome that
as well, yep.
And the fifth one here as manytimes as necessary.
(47:15):
And all these steps we justgave isn't just a one-time shot.
Sometimes you have to go backand repeat those all over again,
because, as we live our life,people are going to continue to
hurt us and things are going tohappen.
So we have to make sure thatwe're always in that mind frame
that, no matter what may comeour way, what people may throw
at us or say to us or whatever,we have to remember what the
(47:35):
steps are to make sure that weforgive them like we should.
The fifth one here is speak thetruth in love, and there's many
times in marriage when couplesneed to sit down and tell each
other about something thatbothers them or has offended
them, and this is not justretrieving old hurts, it's
taking care of problems as theyarise in order for the couple to
live in purity.
Ignoring a significant sin orproblem in a spouse is dangerous
(47:58):
for both oneself and for thesinning spouse, and so this is
something that Michelle and Ipractice pretty much on a
regular basis.
If something comes up and itbothers us, then we will, at
some point, before it gets outof hand, hopefully, sooner
rather than later, we will comeup to each other and talk about
(48:19):
this.
Yeah, and we don't do itcondemning no, it's not in a
condemnation way.
We just sit down and discusswhat's going on and try to get
everything out in the open andhow can we fix this.
And I think we've seen thismake a huge change in our
marriage.
Yeah, you know, during the roughtime in our marriage, Michelle
(48:40):
and I would wait to confronteach other until we were angry,
and when you do that, the wordsthat come out are hurtful when
that happens.
But since then we've learned totake care of our problems daily
.
We do not attack each other'sproblems, we do not ignore each
other's problems.
We share lovingly what we thinkis important to us and to our
relationship, because it's notjust me and it's not just her,
(49:01):
it's us.
Then we talk and pray aboutthose issues, if necessary,
until they're resolved.
So you've got to have thatcommunication and make sure that
you're able to share betweeneach other to solve those issues
as they arise.
In Ephesians 4.15, it saysinstead speaking the truth in
love, we will in all things growup into him who is the head.
(49:22):
That is Christ.
So as we speak that truth, wegrow closer to Christ.
Even so, there's multiplereasons there to make sure that
we take care of that.
And then number six is to prayfor each other, and I think the
saying goes a couple that praystogether stays together, or
(49:42):
something like that.
I think that's how that goes.
You know, michelle and I haveour own separate prayer lives,
but we do pray together as well,and we both think that that's
an important part of ourrelationship, an important part
of our marriage.
So like if something's going onbad in my life that you know of
, what's, something that you'llusually do for me.
Michelle Moore (50:01):
I always pray.
Daniel Moore (50:02):
Yeah.
Michelle Moore (50:03):
I always pray to
bless him, to put favor on him,
that God gives you a godlywisdom daily and he shows you
discernment on anything that maycome up throughout the day, and
that he just shines his loveupon you.
Daniel Moore (50:17):
Yeah, and I do the
same for her.
Yeah, because we can't, we'renot in this battle alone.
No, we were never meant tofight this battle alone.
Michelle Moore (50:26):
No.
Daniel Moore (50:26):
Yes, we have God
by our side, but God also gives
us people to come alongside ofus and, particularly in this
situation, our spouse.
And if we in one way whatsoevercare about our spouse and truly
love them the way that weshould, we should care enough to
pray for them, for issues thatthey may have, that they go
through.
Michelle Moore (50:44):
Yeah, and you
know, if you communicate to me
and you feel like you've hadsomething going on with your day
, you know I know I text you andbe like okay, pray for me,
because I need it today.
You know, and I know, within ashadow of a doubt, you're
praying for me and I don't evenhave to speak what it is.
I know that you're praying andyou could do the same for me.
Daniel Moore (51:06):
And make sure that
when the spouse asks you to
pray, that you just stopimmediately and do it Because I
know for myself, it's real easyIf I see that text come across
or that email come through.
It's easy for me if I'm busy.
Right, I'm going to say, well,I'll do that here in a minute.
Well, that spouse needs thatprayer right now, Absolutely.
And the chances of forgettingare way higher if you decide to
(51:29):
wait until five minutes laterand then you find out that night
.
You look back oh crap, I forgotto even pray for them and so
you don't want that.
They have their trust in you topray.
Please do it at that moment.
And there's scriptural backingfor that In James 5, 16, it says
therefore, confess your sins toeach other and pray for each
other so that you may be healed.
(51:50):
The prayer of a righteous manis powerful and effective, so
that's something that's veryimportant in our relationship
with our mates is to make surethat we keep that prayer in the
middle of that.
And then, finally, the last onehere is seek healthy friends
and fellowship.
Michelle and I have, in manyways, have come to the
(52:13):
realization of the importance ofhaving good Christian friends
around us that we can do thingswith, and have some good,
healthy friendships that willpour into our marriage and not
just take away from it.
You can have those friends outthere that just suck the life
out of you because they have somany issues and so many things
going on that they justcontinually, every time you're
(52:34):
around them.
They're just constantly suckingthe very life out of you and
your spouse.
And it's okay to be there forpeople when they're having
issues and having problems and,you know, in a mentor type
situation or whatever.
But you also need some goodfriends that'll just pour into
you from the opposite side of itand if really good friends will
(52:55):
know that if another set offriends is having some issues,
usually they'll sense it.
And if they're good friends,they will at some point in time
ask you about that, yeah, andthey'll bring it up and say, hey
, you know, are you and Danieldoing OK?
Or they'll kind of me are youand Michelle all right?
You know, is there somethinggoing on?
We just feel like last timewe've been around you guys,
(53:16):
there's something that's beenoff a little bit.
Is there something going on?
We just feel like last timewe've been around you guys,
there's something that's beenoff a little bit.
And if they're good Christianpraying friends, it's good to
open up to them and let thempray with you.
Yeah, so it's super important.
So, as we close up here thisweek, what are some things that
you look for in friends?
What are some good traits Ithink is what I'm asking here of
(53:40):
friends that we should keeparound us.
Michelle Moore (53:42):
Well, I think
you know from me and myself, I'm
kind of I wouldn't say I'm aneedy person, but I kind of am
sometimes.
So I'm a blue type personality.
So if I put into you, I'mgiving 100% of myself to my
friendship, and so I don'texpect 100% back, but I expect
(54:07):
99.9% back.
But one I want to know thattheir relationship with Christ
is evident, that their fruits ofthe Spirit are there, they
(54:32):
attend a church, their prayerlife is good, mm-hmm, hey, can
you pray for me?
And I know we all fight ourbattles and I want someone
that's going to be open andhonest with me, that can call me
on the carpet if they say, hey,michelle, you're gossiping, you
need to stop.
Or hey, michelle, that probablywasn't right what you did.
I want that person to be 100%honest with me and then I want
(54:54):
them to have the vulnerabilityto open up to me so that I can
do the same for them.
I know there's been times I'llshoot a text to a friend, a good
friend of mine, and be like hey, look at this scripture or
check this sermon out, tell mewhat your thoughts are, you know
, and they respond back to meand they let me know, and I have
friendships that I can't talkfor, or I don't talk to them for
(55:16):
a couple months, and we pickright back up.
Daniel Moore (55:19):
Just like you,
never stop.
Michelle Moore (55:20):
Yeah, and it's
like but God will every now and
then be like hey, michelle, youneed to text that person, tell
them you love them.
And so I feel like you know Ihave multiple friends.
I mean, I really we are soblessed with many friends.
Yes, we are Good friends thatwill pour into us and stuff like
that.
(55:45):
But I'm just that type of personthat I don't open up to a lot
of people, and so I have a veryslim and I think that that's
okay to have a very small closegroup that knows me inside and
out.
I know one person that I canthink of that knows me inside
and out for multiple years andshe's been with me through my
(56:05):
first marriage, you know, oursecond, everything we've been
through and still with me todayand I think I'm so thankful that
God has placed her in my lifeand she will be the first to
tell me you are wrong and shepicks up when something's not
right, and I am so thankful thatGod has truly placed her in my
(56:25):
life.
Daniel Moore (56:26):
Yeah.
So we need friends who willencourage us to seek God and
love our spouse, not those thatcounsel us to divorce that jerk.
When you have a problem, that'sthe friend you need to stay
away from.
You don't need friends who aregoing to tempt you to sin.
We need friends who are goodexamples to us and encourage us
to do the right thing, whobelieve in a good
(56:47):
Bible-believing local church andwant to serve, want to live for
God with all of their lives aswell, and when you have people
like that around you, it's avery good, solid foundation for
friends for accountability thatcan help you stay accountable.
And then you can help them aswell.
It goes back and forth bothways.
(57:08):
So, as we started out thisfinal law of love here, the law
of purity, marriage was designedby God as a place where two
people can be completely nakedbefore each other without fear
or shame.
This nakedness is to includeour thoughts.
God wants partners in amarriage to be able to share any
(57:28):
thoughts with each otherwithout fear.
Nakedness also is to beemotional.
God wants us to be able toshare and express our feelings
like little children, withoutbeing rejected or embarrassed.
Also, he designed mankind to bespiritually naked in marriage.
He wants us to be able to prayand worship together in the most
beautiful and intimate way.
Finally, god wants us to beable to be physically naked
(57:52):
together.
He also wants us to enjoy ourbodies together sexually with
optimum pleasure and oneness.
Before we can experience all ofthe beauty and holiness of true
intimacy, we must be in anatmosphere of purity.
Is there something in your lifethat could be introducing
impurity into your marriage?
Is there something in yourspouse's life that you have not
(58:14):
confronted and have not forgiven?
But you know it is affectingyour ability to love each other
as you should.
Don't ignore those issues.
You need to make sure that youtake care of them In a loving
manner.
Seek to make your home andmarriage a safe place where you
and your mate can come to.
Get quote unquote get naked asyou commit to seek God's will
(58:37):
for your life and marriage.
Seek His forgiveness andguidance daily.
Also, walk in honesty,accountability and forgiveness
toward each other daily.
As you walk with a dailyrespect for God's law of purity,
you will see a markeddifference in the atmosphere and
(59:07):
pleasure of your relationship.
Purity is the atmosphere wherelove and intimacy so good.
Well, that's going to wrap upthis week.
Verse 8 says blessed are thepure in heart, for they will see
God.
Michelle Moore (59:19):
So good.
Daniel Moore (59:20):
Well, that's going
to wrap up this week and we'll
be back next week and we'regoing to be talking about
disarming anger and resolvingconflicts.
It's going to be a good one aswe continue this law of purity,
as we're wrapping up very slowlyhere getting to the end of the
Four Laws of Love study.
So be sure to subscribe so thatyou don't miss that episode.
(59:44):
But that's going to end thisweek's episode.
I'm Daniel Borb.
I'm sitting here with my wife,Michelle Bye guys, and thank you
guys so much for listening.
This show really wouldn't bepossible without you.
If you're a fan of the show,please leave a review on Apple
Podcasts or if you'd like tohelp us out, just take a few
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on your favorite platform.
The links for those are in theshow notes.
(01:00:04):
Well, that's all for this weekand we pray that your marriage
is stronger and your walk withGod is closer after this episode
.
This is an extension of theConnecting the Gap Ministries.
We pray that you have a blessedweek.
Aria (01:00:32):
You've been.
We pray that you have a blessedweek and peer into other
people's testimonies andencourage each other to connect
the gap.
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