May 1, 2025 • 59 mins
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Nothing tests wedding vows like a medical crisis that transforms your relationship overnight. When Michelle underwent what should have been a routine hysterectomy in 2018, neither she nor husband Daniel could have predicted the cascade of life-threatening complications that would follow – a massive jugular blood clot, damaged ureter, kidney disease, and multiple emergency surgeries that permanently altered her body.
Beyond the physical trauma lay an unexpected challenge that many couples face but few discuss openly: the devastating impact on their intimate life. As Michelle's body changed completely, her sex drive disappeared, and with it, a fundamental aspect of their connection shifted. For a couple who had already weathered significant relationship storms, this new test arrived just as they were becoming empty-nesters – precisely when most couples look forward to rekindling physical intimacy.
The Moores share with remarkable candor how they navigated this terrain, from Michelle's fears that Daniel might seek fulfillment elsewhere to his process of surrendering frustration through prayer. Their story illuminates the practical reality of "in sickness and in health" vows when those words demand more than you ever anticipated. Through consistent communication, prayer, and a willingness to define intimacy beyond physical expression, they discovered new dimensions to their relationship.
This powerful testimony serves as a beacon for any couple facing medical challenges that affect the marriage bed. The Moores demonstrate that with patience, faith, and unwavering commitment, marriage can not only survive such trials but emerge stronger. As Michelle powerfully reminds us, "A marriage doesn't have to be all about sex," and sometimes the deepest expression of love comes through simply holding one another through the storm.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Daniel Moore (00:00):
This episode covers some adult-themed
material in nature.
If you have young ones around,I'd pop in my earbuds or listen
to this when you are by yourself.
Listener, discretion is advised.
Did you worry that you weregoing to lose me?
You know, or how did you feelabout that?
Michelle Moore (00:23):
I think that I had.
I think because my body hadbeen through so much.
I honestly can't say that Iever.
I I wondered if you were gonnaturn to something.
I I don't think.
I mean, never did it cross mymind that you would go to
somebody physically, but it mademe at times wonder if it would
(00:47):
turn to like porn or somethingbecause of that, because I was
fighting my own battles oftrying to figure out this is the
new body I have.
How do I handle this?
It's not nothing what I'm usedto.
I can't make you happy and atthat time I think I just had so
many things going on that Idon't know that I processed that
(01:08):
.
I would say that at times I,you know, I did worry about that
.
Daniel Moore (01:13):
This week on Marriage Life and More.
We're going to talk about somemore of Michelle and I's
testimony and some things thatwe've went through here in the
past.
We're going to get back intothat right after this.
Welcome to Marriage Life Morepodcast.
(02:02):
I'm Daniel Moore and sittingover here with me this week I've
got my beautiful co-host,michelle my wife sitting over
here.
Michelle Moore (02:09):
Hey, hey.
Daniel Moore (02:09):
And we are back with another episode.
This is a podcast aboutmarriage, bible and book studies
, and occasionally we have somepeople on here to interview and
they share their inspiringstories.
Thank you, guys, for joining usthis week, and often you're
with our show and check out ourwebsite at
wwwmarriagelifeandmorecom forour platforms.
Our YouTube and Rumble linksare there.
We're also on the Christianpodcasting app, Edify.
(02:32):
We're also on your Alexa andGoogle smart devices.
You can also visit us on social,on Facebook and Instagram, at
ctgaponline, and if you are afan of our show, we just ask
that you please subscribe so youdon't miss any episodes, and
feel free to leave a comment onour platforms.
Give us a thumbs up or afive-star review on Apple
Podcast, and we'd be thankful toyou for helping us out with
(02:57):
that and helping this podcast togrow and reach people that need
to hear these episodes, andwe'd just be eternally grateful
to you for doing that.
Well, we are back again withanother marriage episode and, as
we talked about a little bit aswe were going through our
extensive series that we justfinished up, we told you that
Michelle and I had a little bitmore to our testimony, and so
(03:17):
we're going to go ahead and pickthat back up this week and
we're going to share more of ourtestimony here on marriage,
life and more did you know thatgod has a purpose for your pain,
(03:43):
a reason for your struggle anda reward for your faithfulness,
that that you trust Him andnever give up?
Michelle Moore (03:46):
Well, that's exactly where I was at back in
2018.
And as I go through this storyand Dan will probably at some
point interject and say and adda few things, since I don't
always remember everything butin 2018, somewhere in the first
of August, I had a radicalhysterectomy by laparoscopic and
(04:13):
that was just a normal surgery,stayed the night at the
hospital, went home the next day, about 10 days later.
The next day, about 10 dayslater, we were getting ready to
surprise a couple from churchthat was getting ready to move,
and we were having a going-awayparty on a Saturday morning.
(04:34):
Well, friday night I had wokeup in the middle of the night
with my arm hurting, which isreally weird because I can
tolerate a lot of pain.
So, with that arm hurting, itwas not only hurting, but there
was a lump there and it was kindof hot to touch.
But you know, I was like I gottoo much going on to really
(04:55):
think about this right now.
So we went through the goingaway party and, mind you, I'm
still recovering from myhysterectomy and, mind you, I'm
still recovering from myhysterectomy.
We went through the day.
We went to Springfield, helpedour daughter move.
I did not lift anything, my momand my husband made sure of
that.
She was moving back in her dormin Evangel in Springfield.
(05:18):
So as we were driving back Ifinally realized okay, I can't
eat.
This is really really hurting,so something's seriously wrong.
I happen to have a friend who'sa nurse practitioner, so I
messaged her and she's like morethan likely it's a blood clot,
they'll give you heparin.
You get to go home.
(05:39):
So I didn't really get to eat.
So Dan was waiting to eat.
So we dropped my mom off and wewent down to the hospital.
And actually there's twodifferent hospitals.
We have one that's here in ourlocal town that's kind of
smaller, and the biggersisterhood would be the main one
up in another town.
(05:59):
So we chose to go to the smallone because, granted, I was just
ready, hook me an IV up andgive me heparin so we can go to
Gringo's to get that burrito.
That's what we just kepttalking about.
It's like, oh, we're starving.
So I go in and they give me anIV immediately.
So obviously they kind of knowwhat's going on and I go back
(06:22):
and they're looking at theultrasound and back at that time
Daniel actually worked two jobs.
He did a paper route in themorning that would cost him to
get up at what 3.30, 4?
.
Daniel Moore (06:33):
About 3.50 or so in the morning.
Michelle Moore (06:35):
So he always had to do it.
He didn't have a backup, so nomatter what he was, always had
to be gone.
So we I want to say what timewas that?
Like 8.30, 9 o'clock.
Daniel Moore (06:48):
At least.
Yeah, it was pretty late in theevening.
Michelle Moore (06:50):
So I went back and I actually got a wonderful I
call her my little angelbecause she would not give up.
They could not find the bloodclot in my arm.
So eventually she went up to myneck and realized that I had a
blood clot in my jugular, whichis not very normal at all, and I
(07:14):
could tell by the way she wasacting.
It was probably more than whatshe suspected and so they sent
me back to the room, and once wegot in the room they asked me
if I had issues with my kidney.
Of course we're like no, beforethen I've been healthy.
I've not really had manysurgeries.
I've actually done really well,knock on wood.
(07:38):
They came back in and that'swhen they said we're going to
have to transport you to theother hospital because you have
a massive blood clot in yourjugular.
And obviously I mean it was tothe point where if I hadn't went
in, what?
Within a couple hours it wasalmost completely closed off or
it could have traveled to killme.
(07:59):
So I'm nervous.
My husband has to leave becausehe has to go and do the paper
route, and so my mom follows theambulance to drop when we get
up there.
Of course you know how it iswhen you go to the hospital.
You, technically, you're allover the place and nurses
(08:21):
everybody's coming in asking youquestions, blah, blah, blah.
So I didn't get much sleep.
So not only did my husband do apaper route, but he was
supposed to be there for thedrums on Sunday morning, praise
and worship.
So he did the paper route andthen he came to the hospital and
of course our church prayed forus and we are so thankful for
that.
But they were trying to figureout what was going on and why my
(08:45):
kidney numbers were so high.
Daniel Moore (08:48):
And by then they had taken a blood test and they
didn't realize at that pointyour numbers were out of whack.
Michelle Moore (08:55):
Right, and you know I'm not going to go through
a whole lot of details, buteventually they figured out I
mean they were shooting me withheparin like a lot of heparin.
They figured out they I meanthey were shooting me with
heparin like a lot of heparin.
And by then obviously if youhave a blood clot on one side,
they can only take blood fromthe other side.
So I had pokes everywhere andmy arms were completely bruised.
(09:18):
In the meantime they found outthat when I had the surgery for
my hysterectomy that the toolhad nicked my ureter and all the
stuff going through was goingin my body.
So they did an emergencysurgery and placed it was called
(09:39):
a uretal stint.
Was that placement stint?
Daniel Moore (09:43):
Something like that.
And so I came back out ofsurgery and obviously you know
by then I have high anxiety,anxiety because of multiple
different things that hadhappened there at the hospital.
And they eventually released meto come home, me to come home.
(10:11):
So I came home and just FYI, Idon't know about you, but
anytime I have surgery and I getsuper sick from the anesthesia
and when I say super sick, I'mthrowing up.
I hate it Doesn't matter ifthey give you anything, I'm
still sick.
So I go on, I'm still recoveringfrom the this, the big surgery,
and then once I go after sixweeks I go back to work.
(10:31):
I then have another surgery tohave this removed and then by
then everybody's like hey,you're great, everybody's doing
good, your body's going to haveto adjust because on the
hysterectomy you know they tookeverything, so my body's going
to have to adjust.
For all that, well, I gotextremely sick, I think within
(10:56):
six weeks.
I mean, I was super, super sickand I could not figure out what
was going on with me, keptcalling the doctor that did the
stent and I'm like something'snot right.
My right side down in the like,you could tell it was my kidney
, I could tell.
You had a lot of pain.
Michelle Moore (11:16):
Yes, and then it got to the point where they
wouldn't listen to me becausethey were like, hey, she's
recovering.
You know two surgeries.
And then we had the surgery forthe pullout, so technically
three.
So I was like, okay, lord,you're going to have to open a
door for this.
Well then Dan started gettingreally frustrated because I came
(11:38):
home one day from work and Iwas so sick and he finally
called up there and he's likeyou're going to do something
about this.
So again they did an ultrasoundand my sweet little angel, the
same one that found my bloodclot, is the same one that found
out.
I mean, she just lookedstraight at me and she's like I
(12:00):
don't have the best news and I,you know, obviously she can't
tell me anything.
So I don't have the best newsand you know, obviously she
can't tell me anything.
So but she kept reassuring me,everything was going to be fine.
I left there and then theycalled us.
I was going to be back inemergency surgery and that's
because my kidney was completelyblocked when he pulled the
(12:22):
stent out.
He pulled it too early,completely blocked.
When he pulled the stent out,he pulled it too early, which
caused my ureter to completelyblock off right after the
surgery.
So I went multiple weeks withmy kidney dying and shrinking
and so we went in for thesurgery and by then this is my
fourth surgery and I can tellyou Dan will tell you I was
(12:46):
starting to have a little bit ofanxiety and I went in, I was
put out, hence, when I came toall, I remember hearing the
nurse saying it didn't work andI was like what you know and I
know, I started crying and thenDan came in and I'll let you
(13:09):
fill them in of exactly what hesaid, because I wasn't there.
Daniel Moore (13:14):
Yeah.
So when he came to me to talkto me, basically what had
happened was the scar tissuefrom where the nick was at had,
like she said, it closed off theureter completely and at that
point it pretty much had kickedthe kidney into fourth stage
kidney disease.
And so not only was there theissue of trying to get this
(13:38):
kidney back opened up so that itcould start functioning
correctly, but you were at riskof losing your kidney.
I mean, we were right there.
If something did not get done,the kidney was going to die, and
so it was kind of a raceagainst time at the same time.
Well, when the doctor came outafter the surgery procedure, he
(13:59):
told me he said he said I don'thave good news.
He said we went back in thereto try to reinsert the stent and
he said it's too tight, it'stoo closed off in there.
The scar tissue has justcompletely closed that ureter
off.
And he said we were notsuccessful in getting that back
in there and he said so thatpretty much just leaves with one
(14:24):
option.
And he said so that pretty muchjust leaves with one option.
We're going to have to get herinto surgery somewhere, and
that's not something that I do.
He said we're going to have toget her to a surgical center.
And so, of course, I asked himfor his advice.
I'm like, well, where do weneed to go?
And he said, well, there's onlytwo places.
He said there's KU, which isKansas University Medical Center
(14:48):
, or we could go to Springfield,missouri.
He said they had a unit upthere that had a surgeon that
could perform that type ofsurgery.
And so I just flat out askedthe doctor.
I said, well, if it was yourwife, where would you take her?
And he said I would definitelytake her to KU.
He, he said that's exactlywhere I would go.
And I said, well, that's whatwe need to do.
And so when you came out ofsurgery, as you said, you kind
(15:11):
of had hurt a little bit, butyou didn't know everything, uh,
the details, and so they left itup to me to to tell you the bad
news.
And I will say, for myhusband's uh aspect on the whole
thing, it was hard for me tojust say that that day, because
I knew she had been in so muchpain and I'd been sitting there
(15:33):
watching you.
You know, just put up with thatand deal with it, the tears,
the frustration from everythingbecause it wasn't getting any
better.
We weren't getting very goodanswers from the hospital really
, and that really works on aspouse, I mean, if you truly
love your spouse and you really.
Especially from a husband'saspect of it, I felt like, you
(15:53):
know, I'm supposed to help totake care of you and I was
helpless pretty much.
There just wasn't much that Icould do and we were kind of in
the hands of the hospital andthe surgeons at that point and,
as you described, that stuffgoes so slow, it's just like
there's no urgency until all ofa sudden they see, oh, there is
(16:14):
an urgency, and then it's almosttoo late.
So we were kind of, you know,really fighting a time schedule
at this point, and so I did tellyou and it upset you
tremendously.
I remember that ride home wasbrutal because I just felt so
bad.
I didn't know what to say,didn't know what to do.
I mean, it was just completelyout of our hands.
(16:36):
All we could do at that pointwas leave it in God's hands, and
so then we had to go ahead andtry to get the next surgery set
up.
You want to pick it up from?
Michelle Moore (16:46):
there, yeah, the first doctor.
When you have specialty caseslike this, the doctors can
choose whether they take you ornot.
The first doctor that theyreferred me to would not take my
case.
It took him two weeks to giveus an answer.
Daniel Moore (17:03):
Yes, here we are, fighting time already.
Michelle Moore (17:05):
It was brutal.
Daniel Moore (17:06):
And we were calling and calling like this
has he gave an answer yet?
Does he know?
Does he know?
Michelle Moore (17:11):
And so and I think God just really had a plan
in that for us to meet ourdoctor, who was amazing, the
second doctor that they sent itto he did accept it and he got
us in pretty quick, knowing whathappened.
He's like let's make anappointment, let's come up.
So we drove up to Kansas Cityand we get in there and we meet
(17:37):
him and he's like I can't evenbelieve you're walking.
And he's like you must be ableto tolerate pain, because
anybody in this shape or form,there's no way.
Well, as he's sitting there,you know, telling us hey, you
know, we're just, we need to getyour kidney going.
So their whole plan was to cutmy back and insert a tube and
(18:00):
like, have a drain tube in it.
And we kind of look at him andwe're like we can't do that.
And he's like well, why not?
And I'm like I'm on a bloodthinner.
And he's like what?
So you know that complicatedthings more.
So he couldn't do anything atthat point and because he
planned on doing it that day, hewas like we need to get that
kidney going.
And so he talked to us and youknow this is around the holiday,
(18:25):
so it was around coming up onThanksgiving and I think we went
on a Thursday or Friday theweek before and he's like I'm
going to see if I can't work youin.
He's like I'm going to be gonebut I'm going to see if I can't
work you in.
Well, he did get us worked inand I'm so thankful he didn't
(18:45):
exactly tell me everything thathe had to do.
I knew it was going to be along surgery.
I knew it was going to be moreof an intense.
It wasn't a laparoscopic.
What I wanted done Because ofwhat has happened.
They had to literally cut melike a T, and so that kind of
(19:06):
worried me and it worried mebeing out again and being sick
and he told me that the stentwould be placed and I would come
home with a catheter and so Ihad what's called a POAS hitch
surgery and, like again, I'mthankful he didn't tell me
everything when we got in there,um, because he gave me some
(19:27):
nerve blocks and everything andhe's.
And now let me tell you the guywas young, um what late 30s
probably yeah he's a goodlooking guy.
I mean super good looking guy,super nice every time we came.
I'm just going to insert thisright quick.
He literally talked about myfamily.
(19:48):
He knew what my kids did, my,you know, the boys in the
military, brooklyn and collegelike he.
He was just a genuine, reallynice guy.
Um, so he really made me atease.
Um, so I went into surgery andI mean I know you were nervous
end up taking what?
Four and a half five hours.
Daniel Moore (20:09):
Yeah, it was close to five to six hour surgery.
Michelle Moore (20:13):
And so I'm not going to bore you with the
details of everything they hadto do.
But when I came out, the firstday was great I wasn't which was
Thanksgiving, so I got to eat alittle bit.
But the second, third andfourth day and fifth day was the
sixth day I was so, so sick.
I was like I was so sick and Iwas in pain, and if anybody's
(20:38):
ever had to come home with acatheter is not a great thing to
do, especially when you have tocome home.
What was it?
Three weeks?
Daniel Moore (20:44):
Something like that.
Michelle Moore (20:45):
yeah, it was horrible, let me just say that.
And the stent was there, soit's, you know, it really wore
on me and I felt like every timeI went to the doctor something
would happen, and so anxietyreally worked high on me.
And, you know, dan did a greatjob.
But you never find yourself andI'm going to be real here you
(21:11):
don't ever think that you'regoing to find yourself to where
you cannot take care of yourselfat all, and when I say at all,
I mean at all.
Daniel Moore (21:18):
Especially at a young age.
Michelle Moore (21:19):
Yeah, and my husband did a great job, but I
mean, there's things that Inever, ever expected for him to
have to go through.
And so we went through recovery.
(21:43):
I had some things, I had tohave some more testing done to
get the catheter out, and then,before all the surgery, our
daughter surprise, we're gettingmarried.
That was right before mysurgery.
So we're getting married inJanuary, and that was in
November, and we're like, oh,just like, can we make the
(22:04):
flowers?
So we have all that going on ontop of that, and so we actually
had our wedding.
I think I got my stint out on aTuesday and the wedding was
like Thursday or Friday.
I mean, it was super close.
In fact, when we went weddingdress shopping I had to have a
wheelchair, and so those thingsworked on me in my mind.
(22:26):
And after coming out of that andguys, I'm still fighting with
the blood thinners myself andnobody knows why I had a blood
clot in the jugular.
I was still having issues withmy arm.
A blood clot in the jugular.
(22:48):
I was still having issues withmy arm and I don't know why,
after six months of being on theblood thinner, I went off of it
.
Well, then my arms startedhurting again.
When they went to do a scanthey found another blood clot in
my arm.
So after I leave KU I come backthose two different separate
times to get the catheter andthe ureter out.
(23:09):
I go back on the blood thinnerbecause they found the blood
clot.
I then went to KU forcardiovascular so that they
could figure out what was goingon and what was causing the
blood clots, because theycouldn't figure it out.
And see when I tell you that,after having five surgeries
(23:31):
within six months and being adoctor, how many times Quite a
few.
Daniel Moore (23:37):
Your anxiety does work on you.
Michelle Moore (23:39):
I mean, I'm not one of those like hey, whatever,
let's go on, but it reallyreally wore on me and I do want
to read something.
That one of the things.
I was surrounded by someamazing people and I can
remember Tuesday night, before Ihad my surgery at the hospital
(24:01):
up in Joplin, my mom was in theroom with me again because Stan
had to be gone, and I canremember just bawling like
scared to death I mean, andgranted, I still hadn't ate.
So I want to tell you I hadn'tate Saturday, sunday, monday or
Tuesday.
So I want to tell you I had aneight Saturday, sunday, monday
(24:23):
or Tuesday, and the form of aGringo's bean burrito was stuck
in my head.
But that's okay.
Once the surgery was done Iknew I got to eat, so that's all
that mattered to me.
But I had so many visitors thatcame up, and even on
Thanksgiving Day our kids cameup.
I mean, I am just foreverthankful for those people.
(24:46):
But I want to read you somethingthat really encouraged me
through this.
And God puts people in yourpaths to help you go along with
this.
But this is what was written tome.
It says Lord, nothing surprisesyou.
This is what was written to me,says Lord, nothing surprises
you but bumps in the road andthese pop up scares can take its
(25:06):
toll.
I ask you if you would breatheyour peace into the room Now.
(25:28):
Surround her with your presenceand may peace fall on her mind,
her body and her spirit.
Keep her steady and allow favorto go before her and bring the
right doctors, caregivers, toher side.
Settle her in your peace andgrace.
Jehovah Shema, I don't know ifI said that, shema, I'm going to
say it right.
You are there.
Jehovah Shalom, everythingneeded.
You are her peace.
Jehovah Rapha, you areMichelle's healer.
(25:49):
Thank you, lord, for herstrength.
Your portion will be more thanenough.
Do not be afraid, for I'm withyou.
Do not be discouraged, for I amyour God.
I will strengthen you and helpyou, and I will hold you with my
victories in my right hand.
Our way maker, miracle worker,promise keeper, light in the
(26:13):
darkness and, through this day,believing for healing,
restoration, everything cominginto order within your body.
We have things forgoing for us.
Being a child of the Most High,that gives us our advantage to
our battles, and I know you knowtrust in your heart because you
(26:36):
have believed it for a longtime.
But it's time like these.
We use what we know and wefight our battles differently.
The enemy of God even uses ouremotions, what we hear with our
ears, what we just feel ingeneral, to see if we are really
(26:58):
going to fight differently thansomeone else, perhaps even a
lukewarm person of faith.
But you, michelle, are a strong, mighty warrior in Jesus and
you most certainly have what ittakes to fight differently
because you are his daughter.
You have a calling on your lifeand gifts being used for his
(27:25):
glory and let God's voice belouder than any other one that
speaks doubt, discouragement andothers into your spirit.
We find peace and praise whenothers find worry and stress the
enemy in God.
I hadn't forgot my faith.
It was real and it was about toget real dirty, because I'm a
(27:46):
fighter, just like you are, andeven if that meant being still
and calm and having confidence,knowing God is fighting for me,
that is exercising my faith on acrazy level.
He gives us the strength to theweary and increases the power
(28:06):
to the weak.
Jesus, encourage her hearttoday and give her strength,
touch her arms, areas that werehurting, sensitive and
bothersome.
You are concerned abouteverything that concerns
Michelle.
Thank you for caring for her andoverseeing all that is going on
(28:29):
around her.
Keep all infections andunnecessary stuff at bay.
Purify the kidneys, strengthenher function and allow the fluid
to flow normally.
Strengthen her function andallow the fluid to flow normally
.
Take care of the little thingstoday as well as the big things.
Instill hope, healing andrestoration to the portion
(28:51):
needed today.
Be still and know that I am God.
I can't tell you how many timesI went back to read that and a
sweet friend wrote that to meand as I was going through all
that.
But I'm so thankful for worshipsongs and the people that stood
in with me because you knowwhat I fought comes into play in
(29:17):
that future of a season of lifethat we had to handle and deal
with.
Daniel Moore (29:24):
Yeah.
So at this point you were stillfighting the kidney disease
because they weren't even sureif your kidney was going to
rebound or not.
And we can say now at thispoint see, this is seven years,
(29:45):
something like that.
It actually did get back tostage two.
I mean, god came in and done amiraculous work so that that
kidney was saved.
But you're probably thinkingwell, you know, this is a
testimony, you know it's awesomewhat God has done here, but
what's the rest of this story?
(30:06):
So the reason that Michelle andI decided to share this she
also has lymphedema in her armand down her right side and I
think that was to do with theblood clots has lymphedema in
her arm and down her right sideand I think that was to do with
the blood clots.
(30:26):
So there's a chain reaction here, several things, and that's
something that she's going tohave to deal with prior to the
rest of her life unless God doesa miraculous healing on that,
which we're praying for andwe're believing that God's going
to do that.
But if any of you couples outthere have ever been through a
situation where there's beensome kind of a severe sickness,
an illness, or you know, maybeit's been an accident that has
(30:50):
caused some perilous insomebody's body or you know
those things that can happensometimes.
With Michelle's situation andmost women can identify with
this when she had thehysterectomy and one thing we
did mention, this all starteddeveloped the migraines really,
really bad.
Michelle Moore (31:23):
And it got to the point where we've tried
everything and nothing wouldwork, and it was just it was
horrible.
Daniel Moore (31:30):
So this is where it went and this is what ended
up happening.
And so, in 2018, how old wereyou then?
Michelle Moore (31:38):
Oh gosh, you would ask me that.
Daniel Moore (31:40):
Let me think here.
Michelle Moore (31:41):
That was seven years ago.
I was 41.
Daniel Moore (31:43):
Yeah, you'd been real early 40s 40 or 41, yeah.
When women go through thosetypes of things.
It messes with hormones, itmesses with sex drive.
It literally made you adifferent person.
It did, it changed mecompletely.
It literally made her.
It literally made you adifferent person.
Michelle Moore (32:00):
It did, I mean it changed me completely, just
putting it bluntly, your lifechanged.
Daniel Moore (32:05):
Yeah, that day, when that surgery had to take
place, and because of some othermedical situations that you had
earlier in life, you can't youcouldn't have hormone treatments
.
Michelle Moore (32:15):
No, I can't, and because I was on a blood
thinner, I couldn't takeanything.
Right, I mean, and you wouldnever think that, but yeah.
Daniel Moore (32:25):
And so here we are still young in our marriage, in
some ways in our sexual prime.
I guess you could say we did,we had all of our kids.
Obviously there wasn't anyissue with wanting more kids or
that going on, but just theintimacy side of the marriage.
Michelle Moore (32:46):
And all of our kids were out of the house then,
yeah, and the relationshipbetween us.
Daniel Moore (32:50):
You know it's like that's as a married couple.
That's one of the milestonesyou kind of look forward to is
when you're empty nesters andthen you can really just focus
on each other.
Yeah, and what each other'sneeds are.
You're not having to bedistracted, you know, being
pulled this way and that way forthis kid and that kid and
whatever.
And then here we are, right,when all this takes place and
(33:11):
the kids are moving out, they'regetting married and all that
kind of thing, and then thishappens and it pretty much just
killed your sex drive and everyother kind of drive and so Every
other kind of drive and everyother kind of drive.
Yeah, because even with yourenergy levels and everything,
it's just like you wereconstantly exhausted.
Michelle Moore (33:30):
I was fighting it and I still do, and you still
do to an extent now I do.
Daniel Moore (33:35):
And so there's a lot of couples and we know other
couples personally right nowthat are going through the same
battle, the same fight and we'veseen couples where it's made or
break them.
You know we've seen some that'snot been able to deal with it.
We've seen others that areworking through it all and
they're allowing God to helpthem through that.
(33:55):
But you know there was a prettyextended amount of time there
where in a healthy marriage wecouldn't really please each
other or do those types ofthings to an extent where we
were both satisfied.
To an extent, you know, becausethere was times that you would
(34:21):
be frustrated, because you knowyou knew that as a wife you knew
the things that I needed butyet you couldn't fulfill those.
And there was times that I wasfrustrated because you couldn't
fulfill the needs that I had,and although I knew why the
situation was there and Iunderstood that.
(34:42):
But a lot of times when youwalk through things like that,
it does make you question why.
Sometimes you know it's likewhy, god?
Why did this have to happen tome?
Why am I the one going throughthis situation?
You know, we start putting Godthrough 20 questions and that
kind of thing, and it's notusually just one-sided, there's
both sides that have lots ofthing and it's not usually just
one sided.
There's both sides that havelots of questions, and you know
(35:04):
that's just a path that all of asudden it was beyond the
medical part.
Now we already had to walk thatwalk, we already had to go
through all of that kind ofthing to get you to at least a
pretty healthy state, as healthyas you could be.
And then here we are with a newbattle.
And we had already had all themarital issues in the past,
(35:25):
because you know we've alreadytalked about a lot of that, and
so we were still kind of reallyin our rebuild stage, for to an
extent, and we had moved a lot,we had come a long ways by then,
but there was still, you know,more things to, there was still
further to go.
And then all of a sudden thishappens.
(35:45):
And so I know, during that time, from your side of it, what was
some of the emotions that youhad to deal with during that
time when all of a sudden yourealize that your sex drive and
you know the, the need tofulfill the wifely duties and
(36:08):
all that kind of thing, all of asudden it seemed like you just
couldn't, didn't want to uh,just the different uh things
that you went through there,what was those emotional?
Michelle Moore (36:18):
roller coasters that you went through.
There were so many Because Icouldn't do anything.
It was very frustrating for me.
There was times that I wouldtry to hide and you know, we
would go ahead and do somethingand then it hurt so bad that I
(36:39):
would just cry.
And then you felt bad becauseyou're like, why did you say
that?
So I was trying to keep thecommunication open, but you know
it's very frustrating when youas a person have been able to do
something previously and all ofa sudden you can't.
And then when I say you can't,it's my whole body.
(37:00):
It was not anything like.
You know, there's times yourmind can be, but your body parts
can do that, but there wasnothing Like.
There's times I'm like I couldcare less, like it doesn't even.
I can go months without eventhinking about it.
I mean, and honestly I mean mybody totally changed and I mean
(37:21):
I think I was felt like I letyou down a lot.
But I mean, how did it make youfeel?
Daniel Moore (37:30):
I had to do a lot of praying.
I will say that because I knewthat I'm very sensitive Ever
since everything that we've beenthrough.
I'm very sensitive to how youfeel and I'm very sensitive to
making sure that you're takencare of, and especially at that
point in time, becauseeverything that you had just
walked, going through all thesurgeries and everything and me
(37:53):
being put into a caretaker modefor a little while because, as
you said, there was a lot ofthings you couldn't do on your
own, and so I was there to a lotof things you couldn't do on
your own, and so I was there tofulfill that role for you and I
feel in that way, that did drawus closer to each other than
even we were before thathappened.
And so everything that happenedto you I took personally, and so
(38:17):
when this happened, I wastaking that personally also, but
then, at the same time, thatwas affecting me, and so there
was a point there where I had topray and ask God.
I need you to help me throughthis because, you know, is this
going to be the rest of our life?
You know, is this what we hadto look forward to the rest of
(38:37):
our life, or is this going toget better?
Look forward to the rest of ourlife, or is this going to get
better?
Is it going to change?
And we both know, looking atstatistics and looking at other
people that walk through thosetypes of situations, that
usually it doesn't get betterunless you manually make
something happen.
It doesn't that healing doesnot come, typically, unless God
(38:58):
gives you the healing, and so,therefore, you as a couple have
to take steps to try toaccommodate and start trying to
work your way through.
So all these situations thatwe'd already been through, you
think you've been througheverything and you think you've
experienced every possibleproblem you could ever have, and
then, all of a sudden, boom,there's something new.
You know it's like now I gotsomething else to navigate.
(39:20):
Did you worry at any time whenyou were going through that?
Did you worry that you weregoing to lose me?
you know, or how did you feelabout that I?
Michelle Moore (39:36):
think that I had .
I think because my body hadbeen through so much.
I honestly can't say that Iever.
I wondered if you were going toturn to something.
I don't think I mean never didit cross my mind that you would
(39:58):
go to somebody physically.
I mean never did it cross mymind that you would go to
somebody physically, but it mademe at times wonder if it would
turn to like porn or somethingbecause of that, because I was
fighting my own battles oftrying to figure out this is a
new body I have.
How do I handle this?
It's not nothing what I'm usedto.
I can't make you happy and atthat time I think I just had so
(40:21):
many things going on that Idon't know that I processed that
.
I would say that at times I,you know, I did worry about that
.
Daniel Moore (40:30):
So, once we started moving forward and we
started trying to navigatethrough this, what are some
steps that you finally startedhaving to take to try to not
necessarily correct thesituation, but try to move
forward and make it better toyou know, to the point that you
could do the best you could inthe situation.
Michelle Moore (40:51):
Well, you know, as you said earlier, you had to
pray and have God help you withthat.
I think that was a lot of it,for my mindset is praying that
God helped me accept the bodythat is now given to me, help me
do the things I once did, butdo it better in your timing,
(41:12):
obviously, you know.
But to also open your heart, tobe understanding, which I knew
you were but to ease my mindthat it was okay.
You know, and I think becauseof that and the fact that I
really started praying andreally seeking God at that time
about it, I mean, it becomeeasier for me.
(41:33):
And you know, my mind wasn't in20 million different spots and
I found myself, hey, let's havesex.
You know, no, it definitelywasn't.
It was one every six months.
You know, you know it wasn't,but it was a thought, and before
that there wasn't ever athought.
You know, I was like heck, no,you know.
Daniel Moore (41:55):
But I think the prayer really helped me a lot
with that, yeah, and so you know, with me being a guy, and most
guys are all the same- you knowwe just they like to say we have
a one-track mind.
That's not really true, in myinstance anyway.
But one thing that I really feel, like I, that I had to do to
(42:19):
move forward in this is I didhave to let God work through the
whole thing to accommodate thesituation in my mind, to help me
, you know, navigate it the waythat I needed to, to make sure
that you felt secure, because Ithink one of the things I was
worried about I didn't want youto start feeling insecure in our
(42:42):
relationship or, you know,worried about what I'm doing or
not going to do to, you know, tofill in the gaps and all that
kind of thing.
Because that stuff did cross mymind as well, and you know I
understood the problem which Iused to be a medic.
I was a medic for about sixyears and so I was around a lot
of medical stuff, and so Iprobably had a little bit better
(43:03):
understanding of some of thethings you were going through,
probably more so than theaverage person, and so I knew
that with situations that comealong medically, sometimes you
have to adjust and you have toaccommodate and you have to do
the best that you can to try towork around that situation and
still make it work for eachperson, and so I feel like God
(43:26):
gave me a grace to be able to dothat.
You know, I feel that ever sincethat time up till now, God has
made it happen to where betweenthe two of us that, for the most
part, you know, neither one ofus have ever lacked.
I feel like we both have beensatisfied in all areas between
(43:48):
our, in our relationship, and Ido attribute a lot of that to
God.
Yeah, absolutely I mean, but Ithink that the love that we have
for each other.
You know, I think that was ananchor really too, because we
had already been through so muchbefore, we'd already almost
been divorced.
You know, we knew what it waslike to hurt each other really
(44:09):
bad and say really bad thingsabout each other.
And you know, by the time thatyour sickness took place and
everything that happened, I feellike that you and I had more of
a solid foundation underneathus, that we had already built
our relationship on that.
This was just another minorsetback.
You know, that's just kind ofhow I looked at it and in the
(44:31):
long run, god has worked thatout.
Now we understand, not everycouple out there is going to
have an end result like you andI.
I understand that completely outthere is going to have an end
result.
Like you and I, I understandthat completely and I think you
know, as far as from my side ofit, you know the advice that I
would give to you guys out there.
(44:53):
If you're walking throughsomething like this, where you
know your spouse has been to asituation that has really
affected the intimacy side, youknow the sexual drive and those
kinds of things in yourrelationship and you're really
struggling with that, my firstthing to say is you need to take
that to God.
Secondly, you need tocommunicate.
(45:13):
You have to talk to your spouseand you guys have to be open
with your communication on alllevels of anything that you're
feeling, the things that you'regoing through, Because if you're
not careful and I think youknow Michelle can vouch for this
unless I talk to her, unless Italk to you and tell you what's
going on, you're not going toknow if I'm having a problem.
Michelle Moore (45:35):
Right.
Daniel Moore (45:35):
And if I act like everything's okay but it's not
really okay, you're going tothink it's okay because I'm not
saying anything.
And then this whole time Iwould be sitting here feeling
worse and worse about thesituation, maybe getting more
frustrated, more aggravated.
Michelle Moore (45:52):
And I think that's an opportunity for the
enemy.
Daniel Moore (45:54):
It is, and so that communication is so important.
Michelle Moore (45:58):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (45:59):
And between the two.
There's plenty of things outthere to help with a situation
like that.
Michelle Moore (46:05):
And I can remember us talking about it,
like we would lay in bed and wewould just talk about it.
You know, I mean honestly it'slike I would like to have this
tonight, but I know that youknow you can't, and we would
just sit there and talk about it.
I know it sounds like theweirdest thing, but the
communication, I think, helpedus.
It grew us together and it alsothe fact that we are both
(46:30):
wanting you know wanting whatGod had for us and we were
willing to both walk it slowly.
And you know God's going to bethere through it all with you.
And you know he's helping youin different ways, as he was
helping me in different ways andthen he was helping us together
(46:51):
in both ways.
Daniel Moore (46:54):
Yeah, and so if this is a female that's having
this issue, what would you tellto her as far as staying that
course and taking care of herproblems?
Taking care of, because this isa psychological thing as well
For the person that's goingthrough the sickness and the
(47:16):
surgeries that's having the lifechange that is a mind game.
It is.
I mean, there's no other way todescribe that, right, because
that starts a battle in yourmind.
Michelle Moore (47:26):
Absolutely.
Daniel Moore (47:28):
And that trickles out starts messing with your
marriage.
Michelle Moore (47:30):
I think that's also when I've learned to,
though, keep your thoughts aboutall good things you know, and
if you know it's not a goodthing and it's not from God, you
need to rebuke that in the nameof Jesus, plead the blood over
it.
I mean, I've learned a lot oftimes, because my mind will go
(47:52):
in 20 million different places,but I would definitely tell you
one you know, even though youmay change from what's happened,
you are still a daughter of theMost High King, and remember,
he knew what was going to happento you before it happened.
And that's where, you know, Istruggled with loving my body to
(48:14):
begin with, and so when allthat happened, it changed me
drastically and more emotional,you know, in a lot of ways, but
God changed my heart.
He also changed my mind, andwhen I say he changed my mind,
it's up to me whether to havegood thoughts.
(48:37):
You know, I can allow thosethoughts to come in my mind that
are not good, and it would ruinour moment, you know, and it
would ruin everything about whatwe were trying to talk about or
anything.
So I would tell you todefinitely make sure you guard
your thoughts and you know, justremember there was a purpose
(48:59):
for what you walk through.
Just remember there was apurpose for what you walk
through and that's, you know,when I first opened it up, that
God has a purpose for your painand a reason for your struggle,
you know, and a reward for yourfaithfulness.
I mean, and I look at us now,of what we've walked and, guys,
I'm telling you my husband's thebest male nurse I've ever seen,
(49:21):
my husband's the best malenurse I've ever seen.
And going from a male nurse tostill being my husband, to
walking through this season oflife, he never really thought
about himself.
Now you may have, and youdidn't tell me about it.
I mean, I know you werefighting some stuff and you were
praying, but you always wereattentive to me and made sure
(49:46):
that I've been taken care of andstill, to this day, you're that
way.
Daniel Moore (49:50):
Yeah, and there is also help out there therapists
and all that kind of thing.
We don't want to downplay anyof that either, because
obviously this is abiblical-based podcast, so we're
always obviously going to, youknow, put God in things first.
We always want to pray aboutthings and ask God for direction
(50:12):
in anything that happens withinour lives, our marriages and
whatever.
But God also allows us to usethe medical community.
Michelle Moore (50:19):
Yes.
Daniel Moore (50:19):
And so, whatever it takes, just don't let Satan
get a foothold in your marriageand allow anything that happens
between the two of you to tearthat apart.
I think that's probably ourmain point that we want to make
with this episode, and you knowbecause we do know people that
(50:40):
is walking what Michelle'swalked and is walking what I'm
walking, whether, if it's oneither side, because the guys go
through surgery sometimes toothat causes issues and causes
problems, cancer, anything, yeah, there's different things that
can take place, but we just wantyou to know you're not alone.
Michelle Moore (50:55):
Right.
Daniel Moore (50:56):
There's other people out there walking that
same walk and they're having tonavigate all of those issues,
just like you are, and everysituation is different.
We totally understand that.
The walk that Michelle and Ihave walked is probably
completely different than someof you out there that's
listening, that may be walkingthrough this as well right now,
but the end result has to be thesame.
(51:17):
If you're married with yourspouses, you have to bring God
into it and allow him to workthrough both of you and figure
out okay, so if we havelimitations here, here and here,
then how do we overcome thatand move past all of that and
still make this marriage work,still keep us happy, keep that
(51:38):
happiness that's there and allowus to be the happily married
couple that God wants us to be.
And God will help you do that.
He really will.
Michelle Moore (51:48):
I'm just going to say this because you know me
and I just throw things outthere.
A marriage doesn't have to beall about sex.
Daniel Moore (51:58):
You know you just broke every guy's heart.
Michelle Moore (52:00):
I know I'm sorry , you know you just broke every
guy's heart I know, I'm sorry,but, and sometimes in seasons,
just wrapping your arms aroundthe other person and just
holding them tightly and tellingthem you love them means more
than anything.
Yeah, and we, I mean I'm sothankful Dan was okay with that
(52:21):
Because, honestly, that's myfavorite thing.
It may not be every man's, butyou know what I'm saying.
It's a season and you know,make sure that your wife or your
husband, whoever it may be,knows that they're loved.
Whoever it may be knows thatthey're loved, no matter what it
(52:47):
is and what you used to do thatyou can't do now.
Just love on them, know thatyou're there to support them and
pray together about it.
Daniel Moore (52:54):
Yeah, I always remember that spouse that had to
have this, like you're the onethat had the surgeries.
You didn't ask for that.
You know that was not somethingthat you ever saw in your
future.
You didn't see yourself walkingthrough that someday and I just
hate it.
When I see couples, one couplewill go through a traumatic
situation that causes a completelife change which interrupts
(53:18):
the life of the other spouse,upsets them, they get frustrated
and the first thing they wantto do is they just want to pack
their bags up and leave becauseit's not the same as it was
before.
That's not fair to the otherspouse.
That spouse that's goingthrough all of that needs more
support at that time from theirspouse than they've ever needed
it, and they need to feelthey're already going through
(53:38):
problems and situations in theirbody that they don't understand
and they need to know that,they need to feel like they're
loved by somebody.
You know that through thick andthin, sickness and poor and all
that stuff that we say when weget married, that's where it
puts your feet to the fire.
Michelle Moore (53:54):
Yeah, and I've told them that.
Daniel Moore (53:56):
Yeah.
Michelle Moore (53:56):
I mean we've.
We've fought them all, like youknow, and and to this day, even
if we had to go before anotherseason, god would be walking
right there with us and we wouldtake it day by day.
Daniel Moore (54:10):
Yep, as we talked about some of our episodes, you
know that marriage covenant is aserious thing and be forewarned
if you say that covenant beforeyour spouse and you get married
and you both take that vow thatsomeday you may get called on
it and you may have to walk yourtalk, and so just be prepared
(54:31):
for that, because that is a vowthat you take in marriage that
you have to take seriously.
Michelle Moore (54:37):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (54:37):
Because when stuff like this happens, it's going
to really show what you're madeout of.
Michelle Moore (54:41):
And you.
To this day, there's stillthings that, like with my
lymphedema, I mean I can't belike repetition with my right
arm, I can't do anything.
Daniel Moore (54:54):
So he gets to paint sometimes for me and he
just loves it.
Michelle Moore (54:57):
Yeah, it creates more work you know, and this is
something that I have, you knowis going forward in the future
there are things that he hasstepped in that I can't do
anymore, and you know he doesn'tever gripe about it, except for
painting.
He hates painting.
Daniel Moore (55:13):
Yeah, it's not my favorite thing.
Michelle Moore (55:15):
But he does it.
But you know, those are thethings that being there for that
spouse and reinsuring them that, hey, I'm in it with you, no
matter what, no matter whatcosts, I'm right here with you,
yep.
Daniel Moore (55:39):
Well, I think we're going to call it good on
that one.
Is there anything else that youwant to add to that?
I do want to say that you know,if you're a couple out there and
you're struggling withsomething like this and you want
someone to walk alongside youin prayer just to help you guys,
you know, try to get throughthings or whatever you can reach
(56:01):
out to us.
There's a form on the websitethat you can fill out and send
in, or you can emaildanielconnectingthegapnet that's
on the website as well.
We'd be more than happy to putyou on our prayer list and to
pray for you, and maybe, ifyou're going through an issue
and you're wanting some advice,you can throw the question at us
and we'll see if we can answerit for you and maybe try to give
(56:24):
you some good advice.
That maybe something that we'vebeen through and what's helped
us, because we really kind ofhad to navigate this on our own.
Yeah, because we didn't haveanybody that's been through this
before us necessarily?
Michelle Moore (56:38):
And, to be honest, a lot of people don't
talk about stuff like this.
Daniel Moore (56:41):
No, they don't talk about stuff like this.
Michelle Moore (56:42):
No, they don't, and I think you know, since
doing the podcast, as we findout other things from people you
know, it's like I wish theywould have shared that, because
that would have helped ustremendously, you know, and you
know whether it may be just alittle tidbit or something.
Daniel Moore (56:57):
I mean you know it helps yeah, yeah, it always
helps to know that somebody'swalked that walk already.
And how did they get through it?
Michelle Moore (57:05):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (57:05):
I mean that just helps a lot for people that are
newly going through things likethat.
So, with that being said, we'regoing to go ahead and wrap up
this week.
I just I do want to thank Godfor again for where he's brought
Michelle and I to in this pointin our marriage and this point
in our life.
And I think you know we hatethe things that we walk through
(57:26):
sometimes.
You know, it's just notsomething we would ask for and
if we had the chance to go backand change it and do it all
differently, a lot of us woulddo that with a lot of things
that happen in our life.
But, as it goes, life movesforward, life moves on and you
have to live with the thingsthat happen and you have to try
to just use those to the bestthat you can and make something
(57:47):
good out of those, with the helpof God.
And so at this point in ourlife, with the things that we've
been through, we just hope thatthe stories that we can share
and the things that we can talkabout with those, that it would
just help someone out there ofyou guys that are listening.
So, with that being said, Ithink we'll go ahead and wrap up
this week's episode.
So if you want to continue tocatch our episodes, make sure
(58:11):
you subscribe to our platform.
That's how you'll know when newepisodes are coming out.
And again, I'm Daniel Moore andmy wife Michelle.
She's been sitting here with usthis week and helping.
This was her story today, so Ihope you guys got something from
that.
This show really wouldn't bepossible without you.
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(58:32):
Podcasts, or if you'd like tohelp us out with a few seconds,
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Well, that's all for this week,and we pray that your marriage
is stronger and your walk withGod is closer after this episode
.
Just an extension of Connectingthe Gap Ministries.
(58:52):
We pray that y'all have ablessed week.
Aria (58:56):
You've been listening to Connecting the Gap podcast.
In this world, there are manydisconnects that cause chaos in
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This podcast is birthed fromthe desire to share hope and
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(59:16):
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(59:37):
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If you have young ones around,I'd pop in my earbuds or listen
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Listener, discretion is advised.
Did you worry that you weregoing to lose me?
You know, or how did you feelabout that?
Michelle Moore (00:23):
I think that I had.
I think because my body hadbeen through so much.
I honestly can't say that Iever.
I I wondered if you were gonnaturn to something.
I I don't think.
I mean, never did it cross mymind that you would go to
somebody physically, but it mademe at times wonder if it would
(00:47):
turn to like porn or somethingbecause of that, because I was
fighting my own battles oftrying to figure out this is the
new body I have.
How do I handle this?
It's not nothing what I'm usedto.
I can't make you happy and atthat time I think I just had so
many things going on that Idon't know that I processed that
(01:08):
.
I would say that at times I,you know, I did worry about that
.
Daniel Moore (01:13):
This week on Marriage Life and More.
We're going to talk about somemore of Michelle and I's
testimony and some things thatwe've went through here in the
past.
We're going to get back intothat right after this.
Welcome to Marriage Life Morepodcast.
(02:02):
I'm Daniel Moore and sittingover here with me this week I've
got my beautiful co-host,michelle my wife sitting over
here.
Michelle Moore (02:09):
Hey, hey.
Daniel Moore (02:09):
And we are back with another episode.
This is a podcast aboutmarriage, bible and book studies
, and occasionally we have somepeople on here to interview and
they share their inspiringstories.
Thank you, guys, for joining usthis week, and often you're
with our show and check out ourwebsite at
wwwmarriagelifeandmorecom forour platforms.
Our YouTube and Rumble linksare there.
We're also on the Christianpodcasting app, Edify.
(02:32):
We're also on your Alexa andGoogle smart devices.
You can also visit us on social,on Facebook and Instagram, at
ctgaponline, and if you are afan of our show, we just ask
that you please subscribe so youdon't miss any episodes, and
feel free to leave a comment onour platforms.
Give us a thumbs up or afive-star review on Apple
Podcast, and we'd be thankful toyou for helping us out with
(02:57):
that and helping this podcast togrow and reach people that need
to hear these episodes, andwe'd just be eternally grateful
to you for doing that.
Well, we are back again withanother marriage episode and, as
we talked about a little bit aswe were going through our
extensive series that we justfinished up, we told you that
Michelle and I had a little bitmore to our testimony, and so
(03:17):
we're going to go ahead and pickthat back up this week and
we're going to share more of ourtestimony here on marriage,
life and more did you know thatgod has a purpose for your pain,
(03:43):
a reason for your struggle anda reward for your faithfulness,
that that you trust Him andnever give up?
Michelle Moore (03:46):
Well, that's exactly where I was at back in
2018.
And as I go through this storyand Dan will probably at some
point interject and say and adda few things, since I don't
always remember everything butin 2018, somewhere in the first
of August, I had a radicalhysterectomy by laparoscopic and
(04:13):
that was just a normal surgery,stayed the night at the
hospital, went home the next day, about 10 days later.
The next day, about 10 dayslater, we were getting ready to
surprise a couple from churchthat was getting ready to move,
and we were having a going-awayparty on a Saturday morning.
(04:34):
Well, friday night I had wokeup in the middle of the night
with my arm hurting, which isreally weird because I can
tolerate a lot of pain.
So, with that arm hurting, itwas not only hurting, but there
was a lump there and it was kindof hot to touch.
But you know, I was like I gottoo much going on to really
(04:55):
think about this right now.
So we went through the goingaway party and, mind you, I'm
still recovering from myhysterectomy and, mind you, I'm
still recovering from myhysterectomy.
We went through the day.
We went to Springfield, helpedour daughter move.
I did not lift anything, my momand my husband made sure of
that.
She was moving back in her dormin Evangel in Springfield.
(05:18):
So as we were driving back Ifinally realized okay, I can't
eat.
This is really really hurting,so something's seriously wrong.
I happen to have a friend who'sa nurse practitioner, so I
messaged her and she's like morethan likely it's a blood clot,
they'll give you heparin.
You get to go home.
(05:39):
So I didn't really get to eat.
So Dan was waiting to eat.
So we dropped my mom off and wewent down to the hospital.
And actually there's twodifferent hospitals.
We have one that's here in ourlocal town that's kind of
smaller, and the biggersisterhood would be the main one
up in another town.
(05:59):
So we chose to go to the smallone because, granted, I was just
ready, hook me an IV up andgive me heparin so we can go to
Gringo's to get that burrito.
That's what we just kepttalking about.
It's like, oh, we're starving.
So I go in and they give me anIV immediately.
So obviously they kind of knowwhat's going on and I go back
(06:22):
and they're looking at theultrasound and back at that time
Daniel actually worked two jobs.
He did a paper route in themorning that would cost him to
get up at what 3.30, 4?
.
Daniel Moore (06:33):
About 3.50 or so in the morning.
Michelle Moore (06:35):
So he always had to do it.
He didn't have a backup, so nomatter what he was, always had
to be gone.
So we I want to say what timewas that?
Like 8.30, 9 o'clock.
Daniel Moore (06:48):
At least.
Yeah, it was pretty late in theevening.
Michelle Moore (06:50):
So I went back and I actually got a wonderful I
call her my little angelbecause she would not give up.
They could not find the bloodclot in my arm.
So eventually she went up to myneck and realized that I had a
blood clot in my jugular, whichis not very normal at all, and I
(07:14):
could tell by the way she wasacting.
It was probably more than whatshe suspected and so they sent
me back to the room, and once wegot in the room they asked me
if I had issues with my kidney.
Of course we're like no, beforethen I've been healthy.
I've not really had manysurgeries.
I've actually done really well,knock on wood.
(07:38):
They came back in and that'swhen they said we're going to
have to transport you to theother hospital because you have
a massive blood clot in yourjugular.
And obviously I mean it was tothe point where if I hadn't went
in, what?
Within a couple hours it wasalmost completely closed off or
it could have traveled to killme.
(07:59):
So I'm nervous.
My husband has to leave becausehe has to go and do the paper
route, and so my mom follows theambulance to drop when we get
up there.
Of course you know how it iswhen you go to the hospital.
You, technically, you're allover the place and nurses
(08:21):
everybody's coming in asking youquestions, blah, blah, blah.
So I didn't get much sleep.
So not only did my husband do apaper route, but he was
supposed to be there for thedrums on Sunday morning, praise
and worship.
So he did the paper route andthen he came to the hospital and
of course our church prayed forus and we are so thankful for
that.
But they were trying to figureout what was going on and why my
(08:45):
kidney numbers were so high.
Daniel Moore (08:48):
And by then they had taken a blood test and they
didn't realize at that pointyour numbers were out of whack.
Michelle Moore (08:55):
Right, and you know I'm not going to go through
a whole lot of details, buteventually they figured out I
mean they were shooting me withheparin like a lot of heparin.
They figured out they I meanthey were shooting me with
heparin like a lot of heparin.
And by then obviously if youhave a blood clot on one side,
they can only take blood fromthe other side.
So I had pokes everywhere andmy arms were completely bruised.
(09:18):
In the meantime they found outthat when I had the surgery for
my hysterectomy that the toolhad nicked my ureter and all the
stuff going through was goingin my body.
So they did an emergencysurgery and placed it was called
(09:39):
a uretal stint.
Was that placement stint?
Daniel Moore (09:43):
Something like that.
And so I came back out ofsurgery and obviously you know
by then I have high anxiety,anxiety because of multiple
different things that hadhappened there at the hospital.
And they eventually released meto come home, me to come home.
(10:11):
So I came home and just FYI, Idon't know about you, but
anytime I have surgery and I getsuper sick from the anesthesia
and when I say super sick, I'mthrowing up.
I hate it Doesn't matter ifthey give you anything, I'm
still sick.
So I go on, I'm still recoveringfrom the this, the big surgery,
and then once I go after sixweeks I go back to work.
(10:31):
I then have another surgery tohave this removed and then by
then everybody's like hey,you're great, everybody's doing
good, your body's going to haveto adjust because on the
hysterectomy you know they tookeverything, so my body's going
to have to adjust.
For all that, well, I gotextremely sick, I think within
(10:56):
six weeks.
I mean, I was super, super sickand I could not figure out what
was going on with me, keptcalling the doctor that did the
stent and I'm like something'snot right.
My right side down in the like,you could tell it was my kidney
, I could tell.
You had a lot of pain.
Michelle Moore (11:16):
Yes, and then it got to the point where they
wouldn't listen to me becausethey were like, hey, she's
recovering.
You know two surgeries.
And then we had the surgery forthe pullout, so technically
three.
So I was like, okay, lord,you're going to have to open a
door for this.
Well then Dan started gettingreally frustrated because I came
(11:38):
home one day from work and Iwas so sick and he finally
called up there and he's likeyou're going to do something
about this.
So again they did an ultrasoundand my sweet little angel, the
same one that found my bloodclot, is the same one that found
out.
I mean, she just lookedstraight at me and she's like I
(12:00):
don't have the best news and I,you know, obviously she can't
tell me anything.
So I don't have the best newsand you know, obviously she
can't tell me anything.
So but she kept reassuring me,everything was going to be fine.
I left there and then theycalled us.
I was going to be back inemergency surgery and that's
because my kidney was completelyblocked when he pulled the
(12:22):
stent out.
He pulled it too early,completely blocked.
When he pulled the stent out,he pulled it too early, which
caused my ureter to completelyblock off right after the
surgery.
So I went multiple weeks withmy kidney dying and shrinking
and so we went in for thesurgery and by then this is my
fourth surgery and I can tellyou Dan will tell you I was
(12:46):
starting to have a little bit ofanxiety and I went in, I was
put out, hence, when I came toall, I remember hearing the
nurse saying it didn't work andI was like what you know and I
know, I started crying and thenDan came in and I'll let you
(13:09):
fill them in of exactly what hesaid, because I wasn't there.
Daniel Moore (13:14):
Yeah.
So when he came to me to talkto me, basically what had
happened was the scar tissuefrom where the nick was at had,
like she said, it closed off theureter completely and at that
point it pretty much had kickedthe kidney into fourth stage
kidney disease.
And so not only was there theissue of trying to get this
(13:38):
kidney back opened up so that itcould start functioning
correctly, but you were at riskof losing your kidney.
I mean, we were right there.
If something did not get done,the kidney was going to die, and
so it was kind of a raceagainst time at the same time.
Well, when the doctor came outafter the surgery procedure, he
(13:59):
told me he said he said I don'thave good news.
He said we went back in thereto try to reinsert the stent and
he said it's too tight, it'stoo closed off in there.
The scar tissue has justcompletely closed that ureter
off.
And he said we were notsuccessful in getting that back
in there and he said so thatpretty much just leaves with one
(14:24):
option.
And he said so that pretty muchjust leaves with one option.
We're going to have to get herinto surgery somewhere, and
that's not something that I do.
He said we're going to have toget her to a surgical center.
And so, of course, I asked himfor his advice.
I'm like, well, where do weneed to go?
And he said, well, there's onlytwo places.
He said there's KU, which isKansas University Medical Center
(14:48):
, or we could go to Springfield,missouri.
He said they had a unit upthere that had a surgeon that
could perform that type ofsurgery.
And so I just flat out askedthe doctor.
I said, well, if it was yourwife, where would you take her?
And he said I would definitelytake her to KU.
He, he said that's exactlywhere I would go.
And I said, well, that's whatwe need to do.
And so when you came out ofsurgery, as you said, you kind
(15:11):
of had hurt a little bit, butyou didn't know everything, uh,
the details, and so they left itup to me to to tell you the bad
news.
And I will say, for myhusband's uh aspect on the whole
thing, it was hard for me tojust say that that day, because
I knew she had been in so muchpain and I'd been sitting there
(15:33):
watching you.
You know, just put up with thatand deal with it, the tears,
the frustration from everythingbecause it wasn't getting any
better.
We weren't getting very goodanswers from the hospital really
, and that really works on aspouse, I mean, if you truly
love your spouse and you really.
Especially from a husband'saspect of it, I felt like, you
(15:53):
know, I'm supposed to help totake care of you and I was
helpless pretty much.
There just wasn't much that Icould do and we were kind of in
the hands of the hospital andthe surgeons at that point and,
as you described, that stuffgoes so slow, it's just like
there's no urgency until all ofa sudden they see, oh, there is
(16:14):
an urgency, and then it's almosttoo late.
So we were kind of, you know,really fighting a time schedule
at this point, and so I did tellyou and it upset you
tremendously.
I remember that ride home wasbrutal because I just felt so
bad.
I didn't know what to say,didn't know what to do.
I mean, it was just completelyout of our hands.
(16:36):
All we could do at that pointwas leave it in God's hands, and
so then we had to go ahead andtry to get the next surgery set
up.
You want to pick it up from?
Michelle Moore (16:46):
there, yeah, the first doctor.
When you have specialty caseslike this, the doctors can
choose whether they take you ornot.
The first doctor that theyreferred me to would not take my
case.
It took him two weeks to giveus an answer.
Daniel Moore (17:03):
Yes, here we are, fighting time already.
Michelle Moore (17:05):
It was brutal.
Daniel Moore (17:06):
And we were calling and calling like this
has he gave an answer yet?
Does he know?
Does he know?
Michelle Moore (17:11):
And so and I think God just really had a plan
in that for us to meet ourdoctor, who was amazing, the
second doctor that they sent itto he did accept it and he got
us in pretty quick, knowing whathappened.
He's like let's make anappointment, let's come up.
So we drove up to Kansas Cityand we get in there and we meet
(17:37):
him and he's like I can't evenbelieve you're walking.
And he's like you must be ableto tolerate pain, because
anybody in this shape or form,there's no way.
Well, as he's sitting there,you know, telling us hey, you
know, we're just, we need to getyour kidney going.
So their whole plan was to cutmy back and insert a tube and
(18:00):
like, have a drain tube in it.
And we kind of look at him andwe're like we can't do that.
And he's like well, why not?
And I'm like I'm on a bloodthinner.
And he's like what?
So you know that complicatedthings more.
So he couldn't do anything atthat point and because he
planned on doing it that day, hewas like we need to get that
kidney going.
And so he talked to us and youknow this is around the holiday,
(18:25):
so it was around coming up onThanksgiving and I think we went
on a Thursday or Friday theweek before and he's like I'm
going to see if I can't work youin.
He's like I'm going to be gonebut I'm going to see if I can't
work you in.
Well, he did get us worked inand I'm so thankful he didn't
(18:45):
exactly tell me everything thathe had to do.
I knew it was going to be along surgery.
I knew it was going to be moreof an intense.
It wasn't a laparoscopic.
What I wanted done Because ofwhat has happened.
They had to literally cut melike a T, and so that kind of
(19:06):
worried me and it worried mebeing out again and being sick
and he told me that the stentwould be placed and I would come
home with a catheter and so Ihad what's called a POAS hitch
surgery and, like again, I'mthankful he didn't tell me
everything when we got in there,um, because he gave me some
(19:27):
nerve blocks and everything andhe's.
And now let me tell you the guywas young, um what late 30s
probably yeah he's a goodlooking guy.
I mean super good looking guy,super nice every time we came.
I'm just going to insert thisright quick.
He literally talked about myfamily.
(19:48):
He knew what my kids did, my,you know, the boys in the
military, brooklyn and collegelike he.
He was just a genuine, reallynice guy.
Um, so he really made me atease.
Um, so I went into surgery andI mean I know you were nervous
end up taking what?
Four and a half five hours.
Daniel Moore (20:09):
Yeah, it was close to five to six hour surgery.
Michelle Moore (20:13):
And so I'm not going to bore you with the
details of everything they hadto do.
But when I came out, the firstday was great I wasn't which was
Thanksgiving, so I got to eat alittle bit.
But the second, third andfourth day and fifth day was the
sixth day I was so, so sick.
I was like I was so sick and Iwas in pain, and if anybody's
(20:38):
ever had to come home with acatheter is not a great thing to
do, especially when you have tocome home.
What was it?
Three weeks?
Daniel Moore (20:44):
Something like that.
Michelle Moore (20:45):
yeah, it was horrible, let me just say that.
And the stent was there, soit's, you know, it really wore
on me and I felt like every timeI went to the doctor something
would happen, and so anxietyreally worked high on me.
And, you know, dan did a greatjob.
But you never find yourself andI'm going to be real here you
(21:11):
don't ever think that you'regoing to find yourself to where
you cannot take care of yourselfat all, and when I say at all,
I mean at all.
Daniel Moore (21:18):
Especially at a young age.
Michelle Moore (21:19):
Yeah, and my husband did a great job, but I
mean, there's things that Inever, ever expected for him to
have to go through.
And so we went through recovery.
(21:43):
I had some things, I had tohave some more testing done to
get the catheter out, and then,before all the surgery, our
daughter surprise, we're gettingmarried.
That was right before mysurgery.
So we're getting married inJanuary, and that was in
November, and we're like, oh,just like, can we make the
(22:04):
flowers?
So we have all that going on ontop of that, and so we actually
had our wedding.
I think I got my stint out on aTuesday and the wedding was
like Thursday or Friday.
I mean, it was super close.
In fact, when we went weddingdress shopping I had to have a
wheelchair, and so those thingsworked on me in my mind.
(22:26):
And after coming out of that andguys, I'm still fighting with
the blood thinners myself andnobody knows why I had a blood
clot in the jugular.
I was still having issues withmy arm.
A blood clot in the jugular.
(22:48):
I was still having issues withmy arm and I don't know why,
after six months of being on theblood thinner, I went off of it
.
Well, then my arms startedhurting again.
When they went to do a scanthey found another blood clot in
my arm.
So after I leave KU I come backthose two different separate
times to get the catheter andthe ureter out.
(23:09):
I go back on the blood thinnerbecause they found the blood
clot.
I then went to KU forcardiovascular so that they
could figure out what was goingon and what was causing the
blood clots, because theycouldn't figure it out.
And see when I tell you that,after having five surgeries
(23:31):
within six months and being adoctor, how many times Quite a
few.
Daniel Moore (23:37):
Your anxiety does work on you.
Michelle Moore (23:39):
I mean, I'm not one of those like hey, whatever,
let's go on, but it reallyreally wore on me and I do want
to read something.
That one of the things.
I was surrounded by someamazing people and I can
remember Tuesday night, before Ihad my surgery at the hospital
(24:01):
up in Joplin, my mom was in theroom with me again because Stan
had to be gone, and I canremember just bawling like
scared to death I mean, andgranted, I still hadn't ate.
So I want to tell you I hadn'tate Saturday, sunday, monday or
Tuesday.
So I want to tell you I had aneight Saturday, sunday, monday
(24:23):
or Tuesday, and the form of aGringo's bean burrito was stuck
in my head.
But that's okay.
Once the surgery was done Iknew I got to eat, so that's all
that mattered to me.
But I had so many visitors thatcame up, and even on
Thanksgiving Day our kids cameup.
I mean, I am just foreverthankful for those people.
(24:46):
But I want to read you somethingthat really encouraged me
through this.
And God puts people in yourpaths to help you go along with
this.
But this is what was written tome.
It says Lord, nothing surprisesyou.
This is what was written to me,says Lord, nothing surprises
you but bumps in the road andthese pop up scares can take its
(25:06):
toll.
I ask you if you would breatheyour peace into the room Now.
(25:28):
Surround her with your presenceand may peace fall on her mind,
her body and her spirit.
Keep her steady and allow favorto go before her and bring the
right doctors, caregivers, toher side.
Settle her in your peace andgrace.
Jehovah Shema, I don't know ifI said that, shema, I'm going to
say it right.
You are there.
Jehovah Shalom, everythingneeded.
You are her peace.
Jehovah Rapha, you areMichelle's healer.
(25:49):
Thank you, lord, for herstrength.
Your portion will be more thanenough.
Do not be afraid, for I'm withyou.
Do not be discouraged, for I amyour God.
I will strengthen you and helpyou, and I will hold you with my
victories in my right hand.
Our way maker, miracle worker,promise keeper, light in the
(26:13):
darkness and, through this day,believing for healing,
restoration, everything cominginto order within your body.
We have things forgoing for us.
Being a child of the Most High,that gives us our advantage to
our battles, and I know you knowtrust in your heart because you
(26:36):
have believed it for a longtime.
But it's time like these.
We use what we know and wefight our battles differently.
The enemy of God even uses ouremotions, what we hear with our
ears, what we just feel ingeneral, to see if we are really
(26:58):
going to fight differently thansomeone else, perhaps even a
lukewarm person of faith.
But you, michelle, are a strong, mighty warrior in Jesus and
you most certainly have what ittakes to fight differently
because you are his daughter.
You have a calling on your lifeand gifts being used for his
(27:25):
glory and let God's voice belouder than any other one that
speaks doubt, discouragement andothers into your spirit.
We find peace and praise whenothers find worry and stress the
enemy in God.
I hadn't forgot my faith.
It was real and it was about toget real dirty, because I'm a
(27:46):
fighter, just like you are, andeven if that meant being still
and calm and having confidence,knowing God is fighting for me,
that is exercising my faith on acrazy level.
He gives us the strength to theweary and increases the power
(28:06):
to the weak.
Jesus, encourage her hearttoday and give her strength,
touch her arms, areas that werehurting, sensitive and
bothersome.
You are concerned abouteverything that concerns
Michelle.
Thank you for caring for her andoverseeing all that is going on
(28:29):
around her.
Keep all infections andunnecessary stuff at bay.
Purify the kidneys, strengthenher function and allow the fluid
to flow normally.
Strengthen her function andallow the fluid to flow normally
.
Take care of the little thingstoday as well as the big things.
Instill hope, healing andrestoration to the portion
(28:51):
needed today.
Be still and know that I am God.
I can't tell you how many timesI went back to read that and a
sweet friend wrote that to meand as I was going through all
that.
But I'm so thankful for worshipsongs and the people that stood
in with me because you knowwhat I fought comes into play in
(29:17):
that future of a season of lifethat we had to handle and deal
with.
Daniel Moore (29:24):
Yeah.
So at this point you were stillfighting the kidney disease
because they weren't even sureif your kidney was going to
rebound or not.
And we can say now at thispoint see, this is seven years,
(29:45):
something like that.
It actually did get back tostage two.
I mean, god came in and done amiraculous work so that that
kidney was saved.
But you're probably thinkingwell, you know, this is a
testimony, you know it's awesomewhat God has done here, but
what's the rest of this story?
(30:06):
So the reason that Michelle andI decided to share this she
also has lymphedema in her armand down her right side and I
think that was to do with theblood clots has lymphedema in
her arm and down her right sideand I think that was to do with
the blood clots.
(30:26):
So there's a chain reaction here, several things, and that's
something that she's going tohave to deal with prior to the
rest of her life unless God doesa miraculous healing on that,
which we're praying for andwe're believing that God's going
to do that.
But if any of you couples outthere have ever been through a
situation where there's beensome kind of a severe sickness,
an illness, or you know, maybeit's been an accident that has
(30:50):
caused some perilous insomebody's body or you know
those things that can happensometimes.
With Michelle's situation andmost women can identify with
this when she had thehysterectomy and one thing we
did mention, this all starteddeveloped the migraines really,
really bad.
Michelle Moore (31:23):
And it got to the point where we've tried
everything and nothing wouldwork, and it was just it was
horrible.
Daniel Moore (31:30):
So this is where it went and this is what ended
up happening.
And so, in 2018, how old wereyou then?
Michelle Moore (31:38):
Oh gosh, you would ask me that.
Daniel Moore (31:40):
Let me think here.
Michelle Moore (31:41):
That was seven years ago.
I was 41.
Daniel Moore (31:43):
Yeah, you'd been real early 40s 40 or 41, yeah.
When women go through thosetypes of things.
It messes with hormones, itmesses with sex drive.
It literally made you adifferent person.
It did, it changed mecompletely.
It literally made her.
It literally made you adifferent person.
Michelle Moore (32:00):
It did, I mean it changed me completely, just
putting it bluntly, your lifechanged.
Daniel Moore (32:05):
Yeah, that day, when that surgery had to take
place, and because of some othermedical situations that you had
earlier in life, you can't youcouldn't have hormone treatments
.
Michelle Moore (32:15):
No, I can't, and because I was on a blood
thinner, I couldn't takeanything.
Right, I mean, and you wouldnever think that, but yeah.
Daniel Moore (32:25):
And so here we are still young in our marriage, in
some ways in our sexual prime.
I guess you could say we did,we had all of our kids.
Obviously there wasn't anyissue with wanting more kids or
that going on, but just theintimacy side of the marriage.
Michelle Moore (32:46):
And all of our kids were out of the house then,
yeah, and the relationshipbetween us.
Daniel Moore (32:50):
You know it's like that's as a married couple.
That's one of the milestonesyou kind of look forward to is
when you're empty nesters andthen you can really just focus
on each other.
Yeah, and what each other'sneeds are.
You're not having to bedistracted, you know, being
pulled this way and that way forthis kid and that kid and
whatever.
And then here we are, right,when all this takes place and
(33:11):
the kids are moving out, they'regetting married and all that
kind of thing, and then thishappens and it pretty much just
killed your sex drive and everyother kind of drive and so Every
other kind of drive and everyother kind of drive.
Yeah, because even with yourenergy levels and everything,
it's just like you wereconstantly exhausted.
Michelle Moore (33:30):
I was fighting it and I still do, and you still
do to an extent now I do.
Daniel Moore (33:35):
And so there's a lot of couples and we know other
couples personally right nowthat are going through the same
battle, the same fight and we'veseen couples where it's made or
break them.
You know we've seen some that'snot been able to deal with it.
We've seen others that areworking through it all and
they're allowing God to helpthem through that.
(33:55):
But you know there was a prettyextended amount of time there
where in a healthy marriage wecouldn't really please each
other or do those types ofthings to an extent where we
were both satisfied.
To an extent, you know, becausethere was times that you would
(34:21):
be frustrated, because you knowyou knew that as a wife you knew
the things that I needed butyet you couldn't fulfill those.
And there was times that I wasfrustrated because you couldn't
fulfill the needs that I had,and although I knew why the
situation was there and Iunderstood that.
(34:42):
But a lot of times when youwalk through things like that,
it does make you question why.
Sometimes you know it's likewhy, god?
Why did this have to happen tome?
Why am I the one going throughthis situation?
You know, we start putting Godthrough 20 questions and that
kind of thing, and it's notusually just one-sided, there's
both sides that have lots ofthing and it's not usually just
one sided.
There's both sides that havelots of questions, and you know
(35:04):
that's just a path that all of asudden it was beyond the
medical part.
Now we already had to walk thatwalk, we already had to go
through all of that kind ofthing to get you to at least a
pretty healthy state, as healthyas you could be.
And then here we are with a newbattle.
And we had already had all themarital issues in the past,
(35:25):
because you know we've alreadytalked about a lot of that, and
so we were still kind of reallyin our rebuild stage, for to an
extent, and we had moved a lot,we had come a long ways by then,
but there was still, you know,more things to, there was still
further to go.
And then all of a sudden thishappens.
(35:45):
And so I know, during that time, from your side of it, what was
some of the emotions that youhad to deal with during that
time when all of a sudden yourealize that your sex drive and
you know the, the need tofulfill the wifely duties and
(36:08):
all that kind of thing, all of asudden it seemed like you just
couldn't, didn't want to uh,just the different uh things
that you went through there,what was those emotional?
Michelle Moore (36:18):
roller coasters that you went through.
There were so many Because Icouldn't do anything.
It was very frustrating for me.
There was times that I wouldtry to hide and you know, we
would go ahead and do somethingand then it hurt so bad that I
(36:39):
would just cry.
And then you felt bad becauseyou're like, why did you say
that?
So I was trying to keep thecommunication open, but you know
it's very frustrating when youas a person have been able to do
something previously and all ofa sudden you can't.
And then when I say you can't,it's my whole body.
(37:00):
It was not anything like.
You know, there's times yourmind can be, but your body parts
can do that, but there wasnothing Like.
There's times I'm like I couldcare less, like it doesn't even.
I can go months without eventhinking about it.
I mean, and honestly I mean mybody totally changed and I mean
(37:21):
I think I was felt like I letyou down a lot.
But I mean, how did it make youfeel?
Daniel Moore (37:30):
I had to do a lot of praying.
I will say that because I knewthat I'm very sensitive Ever
since everything that we've beenthrough.
I'm very sensitive to how youfeel and I'm very sensitive to
making sure that you're takencare of, and especially at that
point in time, becauseeverything that you had just
walked, going through all thesurgeries and everything and me
(37:53):
being put into a caretaker modefor a little while because, as
you said, there was a lot ofthings you couldn't do on your
own, and so I was there to a lotof things you couldn't do on
your own, and so I was there tofulfill that role for you and I
feel in that way, that did drawus closer to each other than
even we were before thathappened.
And so everything that happenedto you I took personally, and so
(38:17):
when this happened, I wastaking that personally also, but
then, at the same time, thatwas affecting me, and so there
was a point there where I had topray and ask God.
I need you to help me throughthis because, you know, is this
going to be the rest of our life?
You know, is this what we hadto look forward to the rest of
(38:37):
our life, or is this going toget better?
Look forward to the rest of ourlife, or is this going to get
better?
Is it going to change?
And we both know, looking atstatistics and looking at other
people that walk through thosetypes of situations, that
usually it doesn't get betterunless you manually make
something happen.
It doesn't that healing doesnot come, typically, unless God
(38:58):
gives you the healing, and so,therefore, you as a couple have
to take steps to try toaccommodate and start trying to
work your way through.
So all these situations thatwe'd already been through, you
think you've been througheverything and you think you've
experienced every possibleproblem you could ever have, and
then, all of a sudden, boom,there's something new.
You know it's like now I gotsomething else to navigate.
(39:20):
Did you worry at any time whenyou were going through that?
Did you worry that you weregoing to lose me?
you know, or how did you feelabout that I?
Michelle Moore (39:36):
think that I had .
I think because my body hadbeen through so much.
I honestly can't say that Iever.
I wondered if you were going toturn to something.
I don't think I mean never didit cross my mind that you would
(39:58):
go to somebody physically.
I mean never did it cross mymind that you would go to
somebody physically, but it mademe at times wonder if it would
turn to like porn or somethingbecause of that, because I was
fighting my own battles oftrying to figure out this is a
new body I have.
How do I handle this?
It's not nothing what I'm usedto.
I can't make you happy and atthat time I think I just had so
(40:21):
many things going on that Idon't know that I processed that
.
I would say that at times I,you know, I did worry about that
.
Daniel Moore (40:30):
So, once we started moving forward and we
started trying to navigatethrough this, what are some
steps that you finally startedhaving to take to try to not
necessarily correct thesituation, but try to move
forward and make it better toyou know, to the point that you
could do the best you could inthe situation.
Michelle Moore (40:51):
Well, you know, as you said earlier, you had to
pray and have God help you withthat.
I think that was a lot of it,for my mindset is praying that
God helped me accept the bodythat is now given to me, help me
do the things I once did, butdo it better in your timing,
(41:12):
obviously, you know.
But to also open your heart, tobe understanding, which I knew
you were but to ease my mindthat it was okay.
You know, and I think becauseof that and the fact that I
really started praying andreally seeking God at that time
about it, I mean, it becomeeasier for me.
(41:33):
And you know, my mind wasn't in20 million different spots and
I found myself, hey, let's havesex.
You know, no, it definitelywasn't.
It was one every six months.
You know, you know it wasn't,but it was a thought, and before
that there wasn't ever athought.
You know, I was like heck, no,you know.
Daniel Moore (41:55):
But I think the prayer really helped me a lot
with that, yeah, and so you know, with me being a guy, and most
guys are all the same- you knowwe just they like to say we have
a one-track mind.
That's not really true, in myinstance anyway.
But one thing that I really feel, like I, that I had to do to
(42:19):
move forward in this is I didhave to let God work through the
whole thing to accommodate thesituation in my mind, to help me
, you know, navigate it the waythat I needed to, to make sure
that you felt secure, because Ithink one of the things I was
worried about I didn't want youto start feeling insecure in our
(42:42):
relationship or, you know,worried about what I'm doing or
not going to do to, you know, tofill in the gaps and all that
kind of thing.
Because that stuff did cross mymind as well, and you know I
understood the problem which Iused to be a medic.
I was a medic for about sixyears and so I was around a lot
of medical stuff, and so Iprobably had a little bit better
(43:03):
understanding of some of thethings you were going through,
probably more so than theaverage person, and so I knew
that with situations that comealong medically, sometimes you
have to adjust and you have toaccommodate and you have to do
the best that you can to try towork around that situation and
still make it work for eachperson, and so I feel like God
(43:26):
gave me a grace to be able to dothat.
You know, I feel that ever sincethat time up till now, God has
made it happen to where betweenthe two of us that, for the most
part, you know, neither one ofus have ever lacked.
I feel like we both have beensatisfied in all areas between
(43:48):
our, in our relationship, and Ido attribute a lot of that to
God.
Yeah, absolutely I mean, but Ithink that the love that we have
for each other.
You know, I think that was ananchor really too, because we
had already been through so muchbefore, we'd already almost
been divorced.
You know, we knew what it waslike to hurt each other really
(44:09):
bad and say really bad thingsabout each other.
And you know, by the time thatyour sickness took place and
everything that happened, I feellike that you and I had more of
a solid foundation underneathus, that we had already built
our relationship on that.
This was just another minorsetback.
You know, that's just kind ofhow I looked at it and in the
(44:31):
long run, god has worked thatout.
Now we understand, not everycouple out there is going to
have an end result like you andI.
I understand that completely outthere is going to have an end
result.
Like you and I, I understandthat completely and I think you
know, as far as from my side ofit, you know the advice that I
would give to you guys out there.
(44:53):
If you're walking throughsomething like this, where you
know your spouse has been to asituation that has really
affected the intimacy side, youknow the sexual drive and those
kinds of things in yourrelationship and you're really
struggling with that, my firstthing to say is you need to take
that to God.
Secondly, you need tocommunicate.
(45:13):
You have to talk to your spouseand you guys have to be open
with your communication on alllevels of anything that you're
feeling, the things that you'regoing through, Because if you're
not careful and I think youknow Michelle can vouch for this
unless I talk to her, unless Italk to you and tell you what's
going on, you're not going toknow if I'm having a problem.
Michelle Moore (45:35):
Right.
Daniel Moore (45:35):
And if I act like everything's okay but it's not
really okay, you're going tothink it's okay because I'm not
saying anything.
And then this whole time Iwould be sitting here feeling
worse and worse about thesituation, maybe getting more
frustrated, more aggravated.
Michelle Moore (45:52):
And I think that's an opportunity for the
enemy.
Daniel Moore (45:54):
It is, and so that communication is so important.
Michelle Moore (45:58):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (45:59):
And between the two.
There's plenty of things outthere to help with a situation
like that.
Michelle Moore (46:05):
And I can remember us talking about it,
like we would lay in bed and wewould just talk about it.
You know, I mean honestly it'slike I would like to have this
tonight, but I know that youknow you can't, and we would
just sit there and talk about it.
I know it sounds like theweirdest thing, but the
communication, I think, helpedus.
It grew us together and it alsothe fact that we are both
(46:30):
wanting you know wanting whatGod had for us and we were
willing to both walk it slowly.
And you know God's going to bethere through it all with you.
And you know he's helping youin different ways, as he was
helping me in different ways andthen he was helping us together
(46:51):
in both ways.
Daniel Moore (46:54):
Yeah, and so if this is a female that's having
this issue, what would you tellto her as far as staying that
course and taking care of herproblems?
Taking care of, because this isa psychological thing as well
For the person that's goingthrough the sickness and the
(47:16):
surgeries that's having the lifechange that is a mind game.
It is.
I mean, there's no other way todescribe that, right, because
that starts a battle in yourmind.
Michelle Moore (47:26):
Absolutely.
Daniel Moore (47:28):
And that trickles out starts messing with your
marriage.
Michelle Moore (47:30):
I think that's also when I've learned to,
though, keep your thoughts aboutall good things you know, and
if you know it's not a goodthing and it's not from God, you
need to rebuke that in the nameof Jesus, plead the blood over
it.
I mean, I've learned a lot oftimes, because my mind will go
(47:52):
in 20 million different places,but I would definitely tell you
one you know, even though youmay change from what's happened,
you are still a daughter of theMost High King, and remember,
he knew what was going to happento you before it happened.
And that's where, you know, Istruggled with loving my body to
(48:14):
begin with, and so when allthat happened, it changed me
drastically and more emotional,you know, in a lot of ways, but
God changed my heart.
He also changed my mind, andwhen I say he changed my mind,
it's up to me whether to havegood thoughts.
(48:37):
You know, I can allow thosethoughts to come in my mind that
are not good, and it would ruinour moment, you know, and it
would ruin everything about whatwe were trying to talk about or
anything.
So I would tell you todefinitely make sure you guard
your thoughts and you know, justremember there was a purpose
(48:59):
for what you walk through.
Just remember there was apurpose for what you walk
through and that's, you know,when I first opened it up, that
God has a purpose for your painand a reason for your struggle,
you know, and a reward for yourfaithfulness.
I mean, and I look at us now,of what we've walked and, guys,
I'm telling you my husband's thebest male nurse I've ever seen,
(49:21):
my husband's the best malenurse I've ever seen.
And going from a male nurse tostill being my husband, to
walking through this season oflife, he never really thought
about himself.
Now you may have, and youdidn't tell me about it.
I mean, I know you werefighting some stuff and you were
praying, but you always wereattentive to me and made sure
(49:46):
that I've been taken care of andstill, to this day, you're that
way.
Daniel Moore (49:50):
Yeah, and there is also help out there therapists
and all that kind of thing.
We don't want to downplay anyof that either, because
obviously this is abiblical-based podcast, so we're
always obviously going to, youknow, put God in things first.
We always want to pray aboutthings and ask God for direction
(50:12):
in anything that happens withinour lives, our marriages and
whatever.
But God also allows us to usethe medical community.
Michelle Moore (50:19):
Yes.
Daniel Moore (50:19):
And so, whatever it takes, just don't let Satan
get a foothold in your marriageand allow anything that happens
between the two of you to tearthat apart.
I think that's probably ourmain point that we want to make
with this episode, and you knowbecause we do know people that
(50:40):
is walking what Michelle'swalked and is walking what I'm
walking, whether, if it's oneither side, because the guys go
through surgery sometimes toothat causes issues and causes
problems, cancer, anything, yeah, there's different things that
can take place, but we just wantyou to know you're not alone.
Michelle Moore (50:55):
Right.
Daniel Moore (50:56):
There's other people out there walking that
same walk and they're having tonavigate all of those issues,
just like you are, and everysituation is different.
We totally understand that.
The walk that Michelle and Ihave walked is probably
completely different than someof you out there that's
listening, that may be walkingthrough this as well right now,
but the end result has to be thesame.
(51:17):
If you're married with yourspouses, you have to bring God
into it and allow him to workthrough both of you and figure
out okay, so if we havelimitations here, here and here,
then how do we overcome thatand move past all of that and
still make this marriage work,still keep us happy, keep that
(51:38):
happiness that's there and allowus to be the happily married
couple that God wants us to be.
And God will help you do that.
He really will.
Michelle Moore (51:48):
I'm just going to say this because you know me
and I just throw things outthere.
A marriage doesn't have to beall about sex.
Daniel Moore (51:58):
You know you just broke every guy's heart.
Michelle Moore (52:00):
I know I'm sorry , you know you just broke every
guy's heart I know, I'm sorry,but, and sometimes in seasons,
just wrapping your arms aroundthe other person and just
holding them tightly and tellingthem you love them means more
than anything.
Yeah, and we, I mean I'm sothankful Dan was okay with that
(52:21):
Because, honestly, that's myfavorite thing.
It may not be every man's, butyou know what I'm saying.
It's a season and you know,make sure that your wife or your
husband, whoever it may be,knows that they're loved.
Whoever it may be knows thatthey're loved, no matter what it
(52:47):
is and what you used to do thatyou can't do now.
Just love on them, know thatyou're there to support them and
pray together about it.
Daniel Moore (52:54):
Yeah, I always remember that spouse that had to
have this, like you're the onethat had the surgeries.
You didn't ask for that.
You know that was not somethingthat you ever saw in your
future.
You didn't see yourself walkingthrough that someday and I just
hate it.
When I see couples, one couplewill go through a traumatic
situation that causes a completelife change which interrupts
(53:18):
the life of the other spouse,upsets them, they get frustrated
and the first thing they wantto do is they just want to pack
their bags up and leave becauseit's not the same as it was
before.
That's not fair to the otherspouse.
That spouse that's goingthrough all of that needs more
support at that time from theirspouse than they've ever needed
it, and they need to feelthey're already going through
(53:38):
problems and situations in theirbody that they don't understand
and they need to know that,they need to feel like they're
loved by somebody.
You know that through thick andthin, sickness and poor and all
that stuff that we say when weget married, that's where it
puts your feet to the fire.
Michelle Moore (53:54):
Yeah, and I've told them that.
Daniel Moore (53:56):
Yeah.
Michelle Moore (53:56):
I mean we've.
We've fought them all, like youknow, and and to this day, even
if we had to go before anotherseason, god would be walking
right there with us and we wouldtake it day by day.
Daniel Moore (54:10):
Yep, as we talked about some of our episodes, you
know that marriage covenant is aserious thing and be forewarned
if you say that covenant beforeyour spouse and you get married
and you both take that vow thatsomeday you may get called on
it and you may have to walk yourtalk, and so just be prepared
(54:31):
for that, because that is a vowthat you take in marriage that
you have to take seriously.
Michelle Moore (54:37):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (54:37):
Because when stuff like this happens, it's going
to really show what you're madeout of.
Michelle Moore (54:41):
And you.
To this day, there's stillthings that, like with my
lymphedema, I mean I can't belike repetition with my right
arm, I can't do anything.
Daniel Moore (54:54):
So he gets to paint sometimes for me and he
just loves it.
Michelle Moore (54:57):
Yeah, it creates more work you know, and this is
something that I have, you knowis going forward in the future
there are things that he hasstepped in that I can't do
anymore, and you know he doesn'tever gripe about it, except for
painting.
He hates painting.
Daniel Moore (55:13):
Yeah, it's not my favorite thing.
Michelle Moore (55:15):
But he does it.
But you know, those are thethings that being there for that
spouse and reinsuring them that, hey, I'm in it with you, no
matter what, no matter whatcosts, I'm right here with you,
yep.
Daniel Moore (55:39):
Well, I think we're going to call it good on
that one.
Is there anything else that youwant to add to that?
I do want to say that you know,if you're a couple out there and
you're struggling withsomething like this and you want
someone to walk alongside youin prayer just to help you guys,
you know, try to get throughthings or whatever you can reach
(56:01):
out to us.
There's a form on the websitethat you can fill out and send
in, or you can emaildanielconnectingthegapnet that's
on the website as well.
We'd be more than happy to putyou on our prayer list and to
pray for you, and maybe, ifyou're going through an issue
and you're wanting some advice,you can throw the question at us
and we'll see if we can answerit for you and maybe try to give
(56:24):
you some good advice.
That maybe something that we'vebeen through and what's helped
us, because we really kind ofhad to navigate this on our own.
Yeah, because we didn't haveanybody that's been through this
before us necessarily?
Michelle Moore (56:38):
And, to be honest, a lot of people don't
talk about stuff like this.
Daniel Moore (56:41):
No, they don't talk about stuff like this.
Michelle Moore (56:42):
No, they don't, and I think you know, since
doing the podcast, as we findout other things from people you
know, it's like I wish theywould have shared that, because
that would have helped ustremendously, you know, and you
know whether it may be just alittle tidbit or something.
Daniel Moore (56:57):
I mean you know it helps yeah, yeah, it always
helps to know that somebody'swalked that walk already.
And how did they get through it?
Michelle Moore (57:05):
Yeah.
Daniel Moore (57:05):
I mean that just helps a lot for people that are
newly going through things likethat.
So, with that being said, we'regoing to go ahead and wrap up
this week.
I just I do want to thank Godfor again for where he's brought
Michelle and I to in this pointin our marriage and this point
in our life.
And I think you know we hatethe things that we walk through
(57:26):
sometimes.
You know, it's just notsomething we would ask for and
if we had the chance to go backand change it and do it all
differently, a lot of us woulddo that with a lot of things
that happen in our life.
But, as it goes, life movesforward, life moves on and you
have to live with the thingsthat happen and you have to try
to just use those to the bestthat you can and make something
(57:47):
good out of those, with the helpof God.
And so at this point in ourlife, with the things that we've
been through, we just hope thatthe stories that we can share
and the things that we can talkabout with those, that it would
just help someone out there ofyou guys that are listening.
So, with that being said, Ithink we'll go ahead and wrap up
this week's episode.
So if you want to continue tocatch our episodes, make sure
(58:11):
you subscribe to our platform.
That's how you'll know when newepisodes are coming out.
And again, I'm Daniel Moore andmy wife Michelle.
She's been sitting here with usthis week and helping.
This was her story today, so Ihope you guys got something from
that.
This show really wouldn't bepossible without you.
If you're a fan of the show,please leave a review on Apple
(58:32):
Podcasts, or if you'd like tohelp us out with a few seconds,
just give us a five star clickand please subscribe to us on
your favorite platform, and thelinks for all of those are in
our show notes.
Well, that's all for this week,and we pray that your marriage
is stronger and your walk withGod is closer after this episode
.
Just an extension of Connectingthe Gap Ministries.
(58:52):
We pray that y'all have ablessed week.
Aria (58:56):
You've been listening to Connecting the Gap podcast.
In this world, there are manydisconnects that cause chaos in
our lives.
This podcast is birthed fromthe desire to share hope and
restoration of the power of thegospel by being transparent and
open in our biblical walk withGod.
Each week, we take a fewmoments as we navigate God's
Word and peer into otherpeople's testimonies and
encourage each other to connectthe gap.
(59:16):
We upload a new audio podcastevery Thursday and a video
version of it on YouTube andRumble.
We are also on the Christianpodcasting app Edify.
You can subscribe to ourpodcast on many of the available
podcasting platforms, includingApple Podcast, spotify, amazon
Music, iheart Radio, tuneinRadio and more.
We are also available on yourAlexa-enabled devices.
(59:37):
If you would like to contactour ministry for any reason,
visit our contact page and sendus a message.
We hope you are blessed by thisministry.
This is a production ofConnecting the Gap Ministries.
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