February 15, 2025 • 49 mins
"Lupercalia: The Secret to an Untamed Valentine’s Day"
Do you want to know a secret? A sexy little secret that can ignite the passion in your marriage? In this episode of Marriage is Sexy's Secret, we take you down the rabbit hole of Lupercalia—the ancient Roman festival of fertility, love, and primal connection.
Join Little Kaninchen and special guest Rianne as they explore the sensual history of Lupercalia and its modern-day twist for Valentine's Day. From erotic storytelling and symbolic gifts to playful roleplay and intimate rituals, we reveal how you can infuse this lost tradition into your marriage for deeper intimacy, respect, and excitement.
Discover how ancient symbols, sensual music, and personalized rituals can transform your Valentine's celebration into an unforgettable experience. Whether you're looking to spice up your love life or reconnect on a deeper level, this episode will give you ideas, inspiration, and the confidence to embrace desire, romance, and playfulness.
Are you ready to make your Valentine's Day a little more untamed?
🎧 Tune in now and step into the world of sensual secrets, erotic traditions, and marital magic!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Little Kaninchen (00:00):
Do you want to know a secret? Secret? Do you
(00:03):
want to have a secret, a dirtylittle secret, a secret that you
build and share with yourspouse, a secret that's so
magical and so intimate in waysyou could only imagine?
Oh, come on, wink, wink, youmust be the smallest bit
curious.
Marriage has a sexy new secret.
Secret a relationship accessoryassorts. The secret fulfills the
(00:27):
wife's need for deep emotionalconnection with her husband, and
then fulfills the husband'sdesire for his wife's trust and
respect.
Come fall down the rabbit holeand into the fox Assistant,
where Mr. Fox and I share all ofour secrets,
(00:51):
our secrets, they will inspireyou to explore, create and build
marital sexual magic and betteryour communication skills. Let
us take you on a journey thatleads you both to what you
desire most, a sexy, successfulmarriage. So pick up that bottle
that says, drink me. Go aheadand toss it back. In other
words, drink our Kool Aid. Wecan give you all the edge
(01:13):
without you or your marriageever getting caught.
Mr Fox (01:20):
So crazy.
Little Kaninchen (01:30):
Now to our voyeurs, glimpse the quick flash
of this coming episode.
Welcome to Marriage. Is sexy asecret where today we will dive
into the history mythology andmodern twists of Looper Kalia.
In today's episode, we'reblending ancient history with
Modern Love, exploring how wecan add some Looper Kalia
(01:50):
intimacy into our Valentine'sDay celebrations. With our
partners join me and a specialco host today that has a
familial interest in theseancient practices. Our guest
will be Rhian. We will talkabout how this ancient tradition
could add a whole new layer ofplayfulness, fun, romance, and,
(02:11):
dare we say, a little wildnessto your Valentine's Day.
Let's go.
Okay, let's welcome rhiann. Wewant to welcome Rianne to the
podcast today. We're so excitedshe's here. I'm sure
everybody's clapping. We're soexcited. So welcome rhiann. Tell
(02:34):
us a little bit about you, andthanks again for helping us
today.
Rianne (02:39):
You're welcome. Thank you for having me. My name is
Rhian. I'm married to SirErebus, and we have been part of
this wonderful community sinceFebruary of 2019
Little Kaninchen (02:58):
That's fabulous. So I mentioned the
familial interest with whatwe're going to be talking about
today, and why would that be?
Rianne (03:07):
Well, my husband is 100% Greek, and he loves celebrating
everything about his culture andhis heritage, so we try to
incorporate all the fun aspectsof the ancient ancestors of
Greece in our dynamic andactually just in our daily
(03:28):
lives.
Little Kaninchen (03:32):
That's fabulous. So so she's going to
have a lot of things ideas forus, because the Greeks, they
always mentioned Greco Roman. Wekind of put those together. So
Looper Kalia is one of thoseholidays where you can kind of
take a little bit from the Greekyou take a little bit from the
Romans, Greco Roman, and then,but we always say everything
(03:56):
traces back to the Greeks. So Iagree. It all began with the
Greeks. Yeah, so we're good atwe're going to leave it there,
and we're going to jump rightinto the history of Looper
Kalia. So let's take a lookback.
Lupercalia was an ancient Romanfestival celebrated annually
(04:20):
from February 13 through the15th. It was dedicated to Fauci,
the Roman god of fertility, aswell as Romulus and Remus, the
legendary founders of Rome. Butunlike the cozy dinners and
heart shaped chocolates we'vecurrently associated with
Valentine's Day, Lupercaliawas a bit more what I say,
primal.
(04:43):
This Roman celebration wasdeeply rooted in fertility, love
and purification. The festivalinvolved ritualistic practices
that were often very erotic innature, including the sacrifice
of goats.
No goats will be hurt in thispodcast.
It just for everybody'sinformation, but it was included
(05:04):
sacrificing of goats and dogs,as well as a ceremonial run
where youthful, virile men wouldstrike women with strips of goat
hide. And when you got hit withthose strips of goat hide,
everybody believed that thatwould bring you fertility. Kind
of sounds silly, huh? But backthen, that's what they believed.
You fast forward to the fifthcentury, when the new pope
(05:29):
replaced luper collo with SaintValentine's Day. It's an attempt
to Christianize that overallcelebration. They did that a lot
back then he purposely leftbehind more spirited, erotic and
physical elements of loop orcall you over the centuries, the
romantic aspects of Valentine'sDay grew into the known red
(05:52):
roses, dark chocolate and loveletters.
Rianne (05:56):
Right? Valentine's Day became about courtly love with
less emphasis on fertilityrituals. But if we look back,
Lupercaliawas a celebration of ritual love
and life's more untamed aspects,like sensuality and fertility,
(06:16):
and there's something reallyappealing about the raw energy
of the ancients and theirpractices, right? Yes,
and we can learn a lot fromthem. The ancient Greeks
celebrated several deitiesassociated with fertility. They
(06:37):
were all about fertility, and wedon't think of fertility just as
having children or reproductivethings. It's all about being
productive in all areas of yourlives, especially love and
marriage. Well, who says wecan't combine both ancient and
(06:58):
modern celebrations? The sexysecret is it absolutely can be
done. We can learn a lot fromour ancient ancestors. Appealing
to our most base and carnaldesires we have for each other
will open up so many things forthe two of you, you can have it
all, love, romance and lots oflust for each other.
Little Kaninchen (07:24):
Wow, we really can. And if we just pay
attention to one another andbring in that awareness, it is a
good thing. So Well, what if werevived Looper collate,
so if we combined it withToday's Valentine's Day, how
would that look in this modernworld? Could we take the energy
(07:47):
of lupercal, yeah, and itsplayfulness, its wild, erotic
side, and turn it into somethingfun and meaningful for today's
couples?
Rianne (07:59):
Well, I think it could be relationship changing. It
really could imagine aValentine's Day celebration
where couples could engage inrelationship building rituals
that are less about, you know,the vanilla rituals of
Valentine's, Valentine's cards,flowers and candy, lots of
(08:22):
pressure andabout letting loose as an
intimate, as an intimatepartner, as an overall erotic
experience. Well, how can we dothis? I'm sure everyone is
asking. The thing is, you bringyour own ritual. You can have it
(08:42):
all. It's not difficult. Youjust start small, but just start
all relationship buildingrituals must have lots and lots
of communication. Don't feellike you're alone. We will talk
about our experiences and giveyou a few ideas where to start
and where to go. Your husbandwill be so surprised and excited
(09:09):
about how much thought that youreally put into this.
Little Kaninchen (09:18):
Yeah, I think that is such a key to all of
this is once you participate ina few of these holiday
experiences, I think that isgreat, that you both start
engaging and making these thingsspecial. You don't have to do
every single holiday that wepost, but hit a few of them, and
(09:38):
then all of a sudden it becomesalmost a game between the
husband and wife, or the twopartners, where they produce
something together, and thenit's even more special.
Rianne (09:49):
Yes, you're absolutely right. We really got to know
each other very well. Some ofthe things that we we liked or
always wanted to try.
but, you know, were afraid toask, so to speak, and it was a
game changer. My husband saw mein a completely different light,
(10:09):
and he was so excited that I wasthat turned on by him, and saw
him as such a sexual being, yes,and that's the whole idea of of
all these great little holidayswe put together and and try to
get people to get excited aboutValentine's Day by by turning it
(10:31):
and twisting it, or any holiday.
So, you know, like I said, we weare in the business of making
people's lives more fun.
Little Kaninchen (10:42):
Lk, here your resident intimacy coach and
marital influencer. Just wantedto remind everyone that I offer
life and energy coaching with mymain focus being intimacy
coaching for individuals andcouples. I also mentor coach our
startup method of DSM walkingyou through how to begin the DSM
dynamics, I offer sessions forsituational clarity, meaning
(11:05):
helping you get through anysituation within your intimacy
journeys, vanilla or twisted, Ican help you find answers to
even the ultimate question isDSM for you and your partner.
You can find out moreinformation at secret intimacy
coach.comsign up for a session there.
Good news. If you belong to somemrs.com you already have direct
(11:25):
access to me in our Discordcommunity. Hope to chat to
everyone real soon.
Speaking of fun, we're going totalk about learn and embrace
playful eroticism, having acouple's understanding first,
that's what we're talking about,is everything that is planned
and done is in the spirit of funand consent. We always talk
(11:49):
about consent on everything. Soit's a spirit of fun, consent
and intimacy. You want to makesure, and I'm not just talking
sexual intimacy here. I'mtalking all kinds of intimacy.
So we learn about theseholidays. You combine them, turn
them both into what you reallywant. You take that vanilla,
what we would call maybe avanilla holiday, twist it into
(12:09):
what you want. First thing isyou use a sensual symbol, the
use of symbols from lubricalia,such as goats, because we talked
about the goats earlier and whattheir representation was, or
maybe take Roman Greek deitieslike pan.
(12:31):
He was a god of fertility andwild nature. So we all heard a
lot about pan and what pan did,and pan really got turned on by
goats.
So, but that's a whole notherpodcast. So,
Rianne (12:47):
yeah,
Little Kaninchen (12:48):
so these little symbols really can add an
erotic undertone to theatmosphere. You could create
playful decor featuring thesesymbols or use them in private
celebrations such as thisLupercalia in Valentine's theme
dinners or intimacy, like even asexual encounter, it can be all
(13:08):
themed around These symbols,
Rianne (13:13):
yes, well, save the ghost.
Instead of the traditionalLupercalian
ritual of striking women withgoat hides, well, why not make
it a light hearted game? Forinstance, you can just look
(13:39):
around your house. You may havea lot of different kinds of
Fauci rugs, throws other typesof material like that. Put them
on your table, your bed or yourfloor. You can also incorporate
playful spanking or gentleteasing using soft materials,
(14:02):
things like a feather, satinribbons, flowers and just be
creative. You know, just usewhatever you have around the
house, even it's all about whatfeels good for you, what you
want to do. And for me, I liketo make a list of things. When I
(14:24):
was first starting to, you know,try to create some of these
moments for my husband and I, Iwould have to write things down.
I made a list of what felt goodon my skin. And literally, I
would walk around my houseeverywhere, even in the
storeroom. You know, I have astoreroom full of holiday type
(14:48):
things you would not you wouldbe so surprised what you can
find in your own home. However,if you are at a loss, why not go
to a fabric store?
Or or a craft store, I was verypleasantly surprised by what I
found. There's so many fabrics,so many textures, and you know,
(15:11):
you can just buy a little bit ofthat little bit of this, and
just keep it on hand. Well,another thing that I did, I did
speak to my husband, you know,about what I was wanting to
create, and I had even sent hima mysterious or sexy note or
(15:32):
invitation for us to go shoppingtogether. And it was really just
to brainstorm some ideas, but itwas so much fun and actually
really great foreplay. We wentto hardware stores, fabric
stores, even you know, like yourlocal Lowe's or Home Depot, to
(15:58):
choose items that we couldactually use in our little scene
we're trying to create in ourhome. And people would stop to
ask if we needed help, and, youknow, trying to tell them what
we were looking for withoutsaying what their intended
purpose was.
(16:19):
But, I mean, it was, you know,we did that at the grocery
store, hardware store, craftstore, fabric store, and it was
just really sexy, knowing thatwhat we're buying this stuff
for, you know, but it's totallyvanilla. Everybody was, you
know, helping us. Not a big dealwhat we purchased, but we were
(16:41):
not going to use them in aregular way, just totally in a
naughty way. So the the wholesetup was, it was fun, it was
erotic. It was a just a big gameof foreplay, you know, out in
plain sight, but only the two ofus, new are naughty secret, and
(17:03):
you know, like I said, use yourheritage, as you know, as much
as you can to incorporate thatinto your own, your own
Lupercalia. And for us, wetotally embrace that. We even
have these Greek playing cardsthat have pottery, old pottery
(17:25):
symbols on them from the ancientGreeks, and they have every kind
of scene. So we would use justthe playing cards, lay them out,
and each of us would get to picka couple that we would use in
our, you know, our fun time.
Some of them,you know, were sexual scenes,
(17:47):
some of them weren't, but weeach picked our own and it went
from there. So that part wasreally fun. Just work on it
together. Use your imagination,and it is really a bonding thing
and experience like no other yesand, and if your husband is
busy, busy, busy. I use Amazonso much I can get stuff primed
(18:10):
if I don't have time to go out,because I have the traveling
husband as well. And sometimes,you know, I'm like, um, he tasks
me with saying, you know, do youwe have everything we need for
whatever ritual, like kind ofholiday thing we want to do, and
just him participating andsaying to me, communicating to
(18:32):
me that, hey, I want you to makesure we have everything for
This. You know, he bought awhole setup for our summer
solstice last year, and that wasa lot of fun. I didn't have to
do any of the shopping. And youknow, you know me, I love to
shop. I will shop 24/7, if youwant me to. But he did it, and
it was so nice. It was like, adifferent look at it, because
(18:56):
usually he's like, you know, ifyou want to participate in this
holiday, or do this ritual forthis holiday, then he's like,
please get that stuff togetherso we'll have it. Just having a
voice in it just makes a bigdifference. It gives you a
glimpse into their mind, whatthey're thinking, what you know,
their hot buttons. And I lovethat. Me too. Me too. I was
(19:20):
really excited, you know, tohave him do the summer solstice
one that we did last year. Thatwas a lot of fun.
Little Kaninchen (19:29):
Okay? And then we get into the next idea is the
erotic storytelling andliterature from Greek mythology,
erotic tales from anything. Imean, you can even go into the
Bible and read about the erotictales, a lot of them, and some
Bibles were taken out. But youcan definitely Google Roman
(19:50):
mythology, erotic Tales from theBible. Those of you who don't
know the god of wine, he isBacchus. He is also the god
essential pleasures. You know.
All of these tales can lend anerotic atmosphere to your
Valentine celebrations. The onething I tell everybody, every
couple Read, read, read, read,read, read, romantic, sensual
(20:12):
stories all the time. You knowthose books that everybody
laughs about, that they are, youknow, erotica. It's really fun
to read those, to highlightthem. I have them in my Kindle,
or, I guess it's on my Kindle,it's my iPad, and I highlight
certain things, and then Ialways pull those ideas for
(20:33):
things like this. You can findactual romantic books that are
the, I guess they're basicallybased from ancient times. I have
several of them that I've read,and they were really good. I
love learning about all of this.
Anyways, in those books, they dotheir own researches, so it's
good to use somebody else'sresearch and make it yours and
do it within your littlecelebration that you're doing.
(20:58):
They always talk aboutaphrodisiacs and foods, they
give you ideas and inspirations.
So look up those authors thatwrote the stories and poems from
those ancient times. And themore you read, the more ideas
you get, the more open you areto those ideas. And I always
say, Read, read, read. So takeyour readings, take your
(21:21):
findings from these stories, andlike I said, you can Google any
erotic tales from Greekmythology from the Bible, and
make them your own.
Rianne (21:32):
Yes, I absolutely agree with that. You have a good
erotic story or book. You cantake little passages and save
those, send them to yourhusband, you know, or maybe
write it down and read ityourself to
(21:54):
your husband. I'm not verycreative when it comes to
thinking of romantic or evensensual type notes. But like you
said, look it up there. I lookedup love letters from ancient
Greeks, Ancient Romans, and ohmy gosh, those were extremely
(22:18):
hot, the way, with words. And itwas just so flowery, so romantic
and very erotic, because theancient Greeks, the ancient
Romans, they were all aboutdesire, and from the very
beginning, that is their one ofthe absolute
(22:40):
roots of everything in theancient civilization was desire
and fertility. And fertility inthe body doesn't always mean a
product of offspring. It also isdefined by keywords such as
creating, conceiving andproducing. The Latin root word
(23:01):
is fertilous, bearing inabundance or being fruitful.
Anyone or anything can befruitful. It's just not always
product of offspring. Now,Lupercalia was tied to fertility
rituals, and so a more erotictwist on Valentine's Day could
(23:22):
involve focusing on building afruitful sensual pleasure
experience. Now this could be inthe form of sexy massage, body
painting, making body paintingsays wax play. This is where,
doing some research online, theycan give you all sorts of ideas,
(23:47):
if you just don't know where tostart. We even did something.
We bought a massage table, andit is a multi purpose massage
table. Yes, it is used for justyour regular massage, but we've
(24:09):
turned it into kind of apleasure pad, because you can do
body painting on the massagetable, and even
if you focus on food and touchbloshing
Little Kaninchen (24:24):
And well, splashing sound, sorry about
that splashing sound we couldcome up with. Hey, tell people
what squashing actually is,because a lot of people probably
don't know.
Rianne (24:38):
Well, washing is using food in a
sexual way. I mean, you can usefood as an insertable if you
would like, even if get asdaring as using a piece of
ginger, just do a lot ofresearch.
(24:59):
Research, and it's not foreveryone, but hey, if you want
to add a little extra, then thengo for it. But I say research,
communicate and consent is a isa big thing.
So just imagine chocolate and,oh yeah, whipped cream, or other
(25:21):
foods that are aphrodisiacs,like oysters, berries,
pomegranates. And the thingabout pomegranates, pomegranates
are an ancient fruit. They'reeven talking that the apple that
Eve enticed Adam with wasactually a pomegranate. So the
(25:44):
pomegranates go way back. It's asexy food, for sure.
Little Kaninchen (25:51):
Yes, and I keep hearing all of the great
things that come from eatingpomegranate lately.
Rianne (25:58):
Yes, pomegranates are all around so you could have the
sensual experience and behealthy.
There you go. It's a win win allthe way around. But you know,
it's celebrating the body andall its beauty build a fertile
atmosphere for eroticexperiences. One way you could
(26:20):
do that, private rituals androle play. And you know, the
sky's the limit. You can keep itsimple. You can build on do
whatever it is that you want todo. But just start, you can
design a private ritual roleplay sex scene where maybe you
and your partner dress up anentire that evokes ancient Roman
(26:45):
or Greco Roman themes. And oneway of doing that, you can make
your own or buy a togaincorporate gold and laurel
wreaths, which symbolize victoryand fertility, adding just a
subtle eroticism. This is whereAmazon can be your best friend
(27:05):
if you want to purchase thingsalready made on Amazon or just
by looking it gives you ideas,and you may have a lot of that
already at home.
I have a whole store room that,you know, I just keep something
just in case, and that way it'smy just in case area. And if I
(27:29):
want to cut it apart, reimagine,do whatever, I have those things
there, like I had a whole lot ofgold cloth that we used for
something else, and I made kindof a king type sash and outfit
for my husband, and I was morelike a sexy Greek slave girl,
(27:52):
and it was just just that littleBit. It created such a sensual
atmosphere like the originalcelebration. And, you know, kind
of really channeling some of theGreek deities, you know, like
Dionysus. He was, you know, thegod of wine and festivity and
(28:14):
fertility and fun. And, ofcourse, the worship of Pan he
was all about wild I mean, justwild.
Yeah, yeah. He was a god ofpleasure, but he was also the
God of all experiences. So, youknow, you want to experience
everything, all all yourfeelings, and it's, it's a great
(28:38):
time to do that. Well, anotherway is setting up a little tray
of different types of food. Youknow, you can research some of
the, you know, ancient foods,which pomegranate pops up all
the time. There's a lot ofothers, but also foods that are
aphrodisiac in nature, and ifyou're dressed up like, you
(29:03):
know, kind of Greco Romantype attire, very seductive, and
feed each other, you know, ifI'm like, you know, the the
servant or the slave girl, andI'm feeding my husband because
he's the the Greek god or TheGreek king, and you know, I'm
feeding him, maybe, you know,he'll suck on my fingers, or
(29:23):
vice versa. It just leads tojust so much sensuality and fun.
It's like you take off theblinders of being your proper
public facing person, and it'sjust you and your partner and
just enjoying each other,experiencing everything. It's
(29:46):
very hot, and since most men arevisual, you know, maybe the main
attraction could be a plushblanket or something.
Maybe.
In your living room or anotherroom, or even in the stairwell,
(30:07):
which provides a lot of fun typeactivities. Just use your house
in ways that you've never usedit before, and maybe on the on
the blanket you if you're daringenough you want to experiment
with a variety of sex toys.
Now's the time to bring themout. And, you know, maybe you've
had them for a while, dust themoff, you know, clean them up and
(30:29):
put on a little show for yourhusband. And maybe he wants to
join in too and use them on you.
And it's, it's very exciting,and just do some things, set
things up that you don'tnormally do, and just using
(30:49):
different parts of your housemakes it even more exciting. And
what this does, what my husbandhas told me, it just gave him a
glimpse into the way I think.
And even more so, instead ofjust telling him, Well, I think
I want this. I think I, youknow, want that, I set this up.
Maybe it's a surprise. Maybe weboth brainstormed on the whole
(31:15):
thing, but he got a glimpse intowhat I'm thinking, what I like,
in a way that just words can'tportray.
Little Kaninchen (31:27):
Yeah, and both partners. If both partners are
participating, you both get alittle bit of what you want, and
you would be surprised when youfind out what your husband
really is thinking, like, notthe vanilla thoughts, but his
real thinking of what reallyturns him on, what really and
and you wouldn't be thatprobably it's not that deep and
(31:50):
dark. Like a lot of men, whatthey're desiring are very simple
things, things that you don'tthink of. And then he'll throw
you once in a while, with onethat you know, that he wants to
add in there, and just him beinga part of it, whether it be
being able to actually be a partof buying the items, or maybe
(32:13):
him saying, I want to celebratelooper, Kalia and Valentine's
Day. I want to, I want to dothat. Why don't you make sure we
have everything together and allthink of some of the sexy things
to do for it, you know, or, youknow, you pick the dinner place,
and then I'm gonna plan the funafterwards. I mean, just having
(32:36):
that little bit of touch withinthe holiday makes a big
difference to us.
Rianne (32:43):
Yes, it's just a springboard for a lot of ideas,
and it's such a bondingexperience. And you will find a
lot of success with this, andyou will be able to use it
anytime you want. I justabsolutely love to do these
kinds of things,
Little Kaninchen (33:03):
yeah? And setting the mood, setting the
atmosphere. We'll talk a littlebit more about that by when
we're setting the mood and we'retalking mood, there's music and
atmosphere. Yeah? Music for themood, for the more indulgent and
sexual, sensual atmosphere. Youcan create a playlist of the
music that you feel that'sindulgent gives you
(33:23):
seductiveness. Also, we havefound classical music with an
Roman or ancient vibes. Thinkback to ancient times. What
would they use to evoke thefeelings of revelry and
seduction? I always think aboutancient chanting and
instruments, musicalinstruments. I think about that
(33:46):
harp sounds, harp harp musicheavy. I mean, I when I was
looking into this, I looked someof this stuff up, and it is
actually very sick. Harp musicis actually very sexy. And I was
so surprised. I was like, ohwow. I'm like, you know when I'm
listening to I'm like, oh yeah.
I could totally see how thiswould work within a scene or
even while you're having dinner.
(34:10):
It's very, verywhat is the word I want to use?
It's very, almost hypnotic. Isthe word I want to use? Then
they use flutes back then.
And that flute music very sexy.
And you can just put Google sexyflute music, and it will come up
with all kinds of good, goodmusic. They would have used
(34:34):
drums back then. And drums, youknow, you can find all kinds of
drum music that sounds supersexy, singing bowls that was
very big back in that time,they sound like a bell. And then
they can sound very,I don't know, it gives you
(34:57):
another ancient feeling. Youcan.
Find this music all put togetherto where they have all these
different ancient sounds andinstruments that they use, but
you know you can use any erotictones or music modern or ancient
and achieve that feeling. Youknow your partner. You know
(35:20):
yourself. You know what you bothreally like. But if you could
find some ancient music, I thinkthat helps a lot if you're
trying to actually do a scene oror something that seems like a
good role play. Lighting is theother thing. Candles are always
a way to set the mood. Now, youknow, we have cats, and I'm
(35:43):
always scared. You know, we haveset our cats tail on fire having
a romantic Valentine's dinner.
One time we were just married, Ithink it was probably like our
maybe second or third weddinganniversary, and we were broke,
so we bought steaks and we weregonna have like this fantastic
dinner at home, very romantic.
(36:03):
And, you know, we were justgetting started. We had set the
table. I had two tapered redcandles, of course, very
vanilla, very Valentine'spressure, a lot of pressure,
because I was like, I was makingmistakes. And I, I probably
wasn't the cook. I was back nowthat I, you know, the back then
I probably was not very good atit, and it was a lot of
(36:24):
pressure, and we were justsitting down. Everything was
great. You know, today, my catsgo everywhere. But it was our
very first pet, and her name wasMercedes, God bless her, and she
jumped up on the table. And shenever was allowed on the table.
She jumped up on the table. Ranacross it really fast, because
she knew that she would be introuble. She ran, and it caught
(36:46):
her tail on fire. So we bothjump up. We both jump up running
to get the cat, because there isa cat on fire in the kitchen. Oh
my.
And you could smell it burning.
And so I hate to say it, but thesmell of burnt hair and your
steak, and it kind of ruined thewhole thing. I think we might
have went out for pizzaafterwards or something.
(37:11):
It was, you know, and, and weended up having to take her to
the vet because she was burnt alittle bit. So lessons learned,
yeah, so like real candles. Ifyou have pets, maybe they have
such great candles now thatlooks so real, but they're
actually battery. I would justsay, you know, buyer beware. You
(37:31):
know, you know what you mightend up with a cat or a dog or,
you know, a candle gettingchewed up, or something like
that. So that was my littlestory. But you, you know,
lighting candles, I always say,incorporate dark colors into
your when you want it to be likeromantic and ancient, deep reds,
(37:53):
blacks, purples, colors ofroyalty. Use the scents because
specific scents were verypopular back in ancient times,
and Jasmine, tuba, Rosegardenia, orange blossom. These
are all called dirty whiteflowers, or lusty flowers. They
(38:14):
literally have the samecompounds in them as sweaty sex
does. So you can look up dirtywhite flowers. And actually,
what's so funny is I loveJasmine and gardenia and orange
blossom. Those are my those aremy favorite perfumes. So it's
just funny is that they happento be the dirty white flowers.
Rianne (38:35):
Well, if you want to put a different twist on writing as
well, if you're married to atechie guy like I am. We have
smart lights everywhere, andthey can be different colors.
They can go through a range ofcolors. They will change colors
(38:56):
according to music or even othersounds, and it really adds to
the whole experience, the wholeenvironment of creating a sexy
scene using lighting. So ifyou're into that, it's possible
to do that too.
Little Kaninchen (39:16):
Yeah, I could see dimming, you know, giving
commands to dim the lights alittle bit, or changing up the
romantic lighting to different,like I said, even those deep
reds, you know, that's that'svery romantic.
Rianne (39:34):
Yes, it is. It really is. Another thing too, along
that line, is an incorporatingsymbolic gifts and a token is an
item that serves as a visible ortangible representation, you
know, of a fact, a quality orfeeling and erotic gift or
(39:56):
tokens. Those were very popularin ancient.
Times and ancient traditions ofgiving gifts, even to this day,
going to another household, whenwe're visiting Greece, it is
customary to bring gifts orother symbolic tokens, and
(40:17):
that's a tradition that theystill hold dear, near and dear
now, but if you know, just do alittle research, give each other
some symbolic tokens offertility or love that's more
directly related to the eroticcould be luxurious lingerie,
(40:38):
romantic oils or sexual itemsthat you can use together, and
that's a lot of fun doing byeach other. Gifts like that. I
pick something that I I wouldlike, or I would think my
husband would like, and he woulddo the same for me. And it's
(41:00):
really exciting to buy thosethings, give them and use them
on each other. Now maybe it canalso that token or gift could be
given after an experience, tojust remind each other of the
experience that we had, maybe asmall statue or stone, or
(41:23):
anything that Valentine like, orLupercalia,
a goat heart Wolf, anythingthat's representative of the
ancient Romans, ancient Greekmaybe even a small ribbon for
them to keep until the nextValentine's Day. There's just so
(41:44):
many things that you can do youblend some of the erotic
undertones of Lupercalia withthe more romantic focus of
Valentine's Day. Createintimate, celebratory atmosphere
that's fun, playful, but deeplyconnected to love and lust and
(42:05):
mutual respect. They don't haveto be separate things. And what
my husband has told me is thatsome of the things that I've
done, you know, maybe surprisedhim with something or set up a
littlesomething in the living room or
elsewhere connected to a certainholiday, like Valentine's Day.
(42:25):
And it let out my, you know, mylust and my desire for him and
I, I didn't hold back, and hefelt very honored and very
respected.
I don't know if all that makessense, but that's what he told
(42:46):
me, that it really made him feelthat I just fed in to that part
of him, that a lot of times ithas to stay quiet or dormant
because he's, you know, busyworking or taking care of all
these, all these things. But hedefinitely felt that level of
(43:06):
lust and respect, and we wereable to, you know, keep that
going even in the middle of ofworking or being with family or
friends, some of those symbolsthat we gave to each other we
could keepand bring with us in those other
public or vanilla situations.
(43:31):
It's, you know, honoring thespirit of both festivals. And I
think that is a really goodidea. My husband is 100% Greek,
so of course, I loveincorporating his heritage into
our marriage and intimacy.
Giving him a Greek token couldbe, you know, a card or sketch
of arrows Cupid, which is thegod of desire. And this is how
(43:53):
serious the ancients really tooktheir desire. Because in the
beginning of all of Greekmythology there was Gaia, the
earth, Tartarus, which is theunderworld. Those are the two
places. And then arrows, the godof desire. So they desire is in
(44:18):
the foundation. They had theearth. They had the underworld.
Okay, let's get the God ofdesire here and enjoy ourselves.
It was all about, you know, thesensual enjoyment. And so desire
is at the foundation, at thebeginning. So just embrace every
part of that.
Little Kaninchen (44:42):
Yeah, I totally agree. Everything goes
back to the Greeks from thebeginning and how they taught
everybody how to embrace everypart of their love, from the
underworld to, you know, love,desire, embracing.
To your partner so important.
Rianne (45:03):
So celebrating each other, celebrating your love,
celebrating your love, itdoesn't have to be separate.
Little Kaninchen (45:10):
No, it does not. And actually it just gives
it another layer on top of whatyou already have. And these are
just ideas on how to make yourValentine's Day. Take that
Looper Kalia and just add it inthere a little bit, and you can
really come up with some greatideas. Do a few minutes of
homework. Let your partner knowthat you would like to, you
(45:31):
know, make this a little bitmore and get them involved if
they want to be involved. And,you know, make a really great
holiday out of it. There youhave it. We're bringing back the
little bit of Looper Kalia toshake up your Valentine's Day
traditions. Who knew a festivalof fertility and wildness could
add such a spark to your moderncelebration of love? Are you
(45:53):
ready to make your Valentine'sDay a little more untamed? I
know I am.
Are you thinking this dynamiccould really work for you and
your spouse? Things getting alittle robotic or dull? Do you
need some spice in yourmarriage? We invite you to visit
some mrs.com and husband.com tofind out more about marriages,
(46:14):
sexiest secret and how to beginyour journey. Hey, this is Mr.
Fox, and we want to take aminute to thank our podcast
listeners for their time. Thankyou. Thank you. We know how
precious time is, and if youenjoyed today's episode and want
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(46:38):
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Mr Fox (46:42):
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Help us out by spreading theword of marriage's sexiest
secret, by mentioning us to yourmarried friends,
Little Kaninchen (47:04):
until next time, goodbye from our
Wonderland, this is okay and Mr.
Fox reminding you that ourcommunities are the only place
to learn the bedroom, maritalDSM, discover our method live
the dynamic marriage is sexysecret the ultimate marriage
successor.
Do you want to know a secret? Secret? Do you
(00:03):
want to have a secret, a dirtylittle secret, a secret that you
build and share with yourspouse, a secret that's so
magical and so intimate in waysyou could only imagine?
Oh, come on, wink, wink, youmust be the smallest bit
curious.
Marriage has a sexy new secret.
Secret a relationship accessoryassorts. The secret fulfills the
(00:27):
wife's need for deep emotionalconnection with her husband, and
then fulfills the husband'sdesire for his wife's trust and
respect.
Come fall down the rabbit holeand into the fox Assistant,
where Mr. Fox and I share all ofour secrets,
(00:51):
our secrets, they will inspireyou to explore, create and build
marital sexual magic and betteryour communication skills. Let
us take you on a journey thatleads you both to what you
desire most, a sexy, successfulmarriage. So pick up that bottle
that says, drink me. Go aheadand toss it back. In other
words, drink our Kool Aid. Wecan give you all the edge
(01:13):
without you or your marriageever getting caught.
Mr Fox (01:20):
So crazy.
Little Kaninchen (01:30):
Now to our voyeurs, glimpse the quick flash
of this coming episode.
Welcome to Marriage. Is sexy asecret where today we will dive
into the history mythology andmodern twists of Looper Kalia.
In today's episode, we'reblending ancient history with
Modern Love, exploring how wecan add some Looper Kalia
(01:50):
intimacy into our Valentine'sDay celebrations. With our
partners join me and a specialco host today that has a
familial interest in theseancient practices. Our guest
will be Rhian. We will talkabout how this ancient tradition
could add a whole new layer ofplayfulness, fun, romance, and,
(02:11):
dare we say, a little wildnessto your Valentine's Day.
Let's go.
Okay, let's welcome rhiann. Wewant to welcome Rianne to the
podcast today. We're so excitedshe's here. I'm sure
everybody's clapping. We're soexcited. So welcome rhiann. Tell
(02:34):
us a little bit about you, andthanks again for helping us
today.
Rianne (02:39):
You're welcome. Thank you for having me. My name is
Rhian. I'm married to SirErebus, and we have been part of
this wonderful community sinceFebruary of 2019
Little Kaninchen (02:58):
That's fabulous. So I mentioned the
familial interest with whatwe're going to be talking about
today, and why would that be?
Rianne (03:07):
Well, my husband is 100% Greek, and he loves celebrating
everything about his culture andhis heritage, so we try to
incorporate all the fun aspectsof the ancient ancestors of
Greece in our dynamic andactually just in our daily
(03:28):
lives.
Little Kaninchen (03:32):
That's fabulous. So so she's going to
have a lot of things ideas forus, because the Greeks, they
always mentioned Greco Roman. Wekind of put those together. So
Looper Kalia is one of thoseholidays where you can kind of
take a little bit from the Greekyou take a little bit from the
Romans, Greco Roman, and then,but we always say everything
(03:56):
traces back to the Greeks. So Iagree. It all began with the
Greeks. Yeah, so we're good atwe're going to leave it there,
and we're going to jump rightinto the history of Looper
Kalia. So let's take a lookback.
Lupercalia was an ancient Romanfestival celebrated annually
(04:20):
from February 13 through the15th. It was dedicated to Fauci,
the Roman god of fertility, aswell as Romulus and Remus, the
legendary founders of Rome. Butunlike the cozy dinners and
heart shaped chocolates we'vecurrently associated with
Valentine's Day, Lupercaliawas a bit more what I say,
primal.
(04:43):
This Roman celebration wasdeeply rooted in fertility, love
and purification. The festivalinvolved ritualistic practices
that were often very erotic innature, including the sacrifice
of goats.
No goats will be hurt in thispodcast.
It just for everybody'sinformation, but it was included
(05:04):
sacrificing of goats and dogs,as well as a ceremonial run
where youthful, virile men wouldstrike women with strips of goat
hide. And when you got hit withthose strips of goat hide,
everybody believed that thatwould bring you fertility. Kind
of sounds silly, huh? But backthen, that's what they believed.
You fast forward to the fifthcentury, when the new pope
(05:29):
replaced luper collo with SaintValentine's Day. It's an attempt
to Christianize that overallcelebration. They did that a lot
back then he purposely leftbehind more spirited, erotic and
physical elements of loop orcall you over the centuries, the
romantic aspects of Valentine'sDay grew into the known red
(05:52):
roses, dark chocolate and loveletters.
Rianne (05:56):
Right? Valentine's Day became about courtly love with
less emphasis on fertilityrituals. But if we look back,
Lupercaliawas a celebration of ritual love
and life's more untamed aspects,like sensuality and fertility,
(06:16):
and there's something reallyappealing about the raw energy
of the ancients and theirpractices, right? Yes,
and we can learn a lot fromthem. The ancient Greeks
celebrated several deitiesassociated with fertility. They
(06:37):
were all about fertility, and wedon't think of fertility just as
having children or reproductivethings. It's all about being
productive in all areas of yourlives, especially love and
marriage. Well, who says wecan't combine both ancient and
(06:58):
modern celebrations? The sexysecret is it absolutely can be
done. We can learn a lot fromour ancient ancestors. Appealing
to our most base and carnaldesires we have for each other
will open up so many things forthe two of you, you can have it
all, love, romance and lots oflust for each other.
Little Kaninchen (07:24):
Wow, we really can. And if we just pay
attention to one another andbring in that awareness, it is a
good thing. So Well, what if werevived Looper collate,
so if we combined it withToday's Valentine's Day, how
would that look in this modernworld? Could we take the energy
(07:47):
of lupercal, yeah, and itsplayfulness, its wild, erotic
side, and turn it into somethingfun and meaningful for today's
couples?
Rianne (07:59):
Well, I think it could be relationship changing. It
really could imagine aValentine's Day celebration
where couples could engage inrelationship building rituals
that are less about, you know,the vanilla rituals of
Valentine's, Valentine's cards,flowers and candy, lots of
(08:22):
pressure andabout letting loose as an
intimate, as an intimatepartner, as an overall erotic
experience. Well, how can we dothis? I'm sure everyone is
asking. The thing is, you bringyour own ritual. You can have it
(08:42):
all. It's not difficult. Youjust start small, but just start
all relationship buildingrituals must have lots and lots
of communication. Don't feellike you're alone. We will talk
about our experiences and giveyou a few ideas where to start
and where to go. Your husbandwill be so surprised and excited
(09:09):
about how much thought that youreally put into this.
Little Kaninchen (09:18):
Yeah, I think that is such a key to all of
this is once you participate ina few of these holiday
experiences, I think that isgreat, that you both start
engaging and making these thingsspecial. You don't have to do
every single holiday that wepost, but hit a few of them, and
(09:38):
then all of a sudden it becomesalmost a game between the
husband and wife, or the twopartners, where they produce
something together, and thenit's even more special.
Rianne (09:49):
Yes, you're absolutely right. We really got to know
each other very well. Some ofthe things that we we liked or
always wanted to try.
but, you know, were afraid toask, so to speak, and it was a
game changer. My husband saw mein a completely different light,
(10:09):
and he was so excited that I wasthat turned on by him, and saw
him as such a sexual being, yes,and that's the whole idea of of
all these great little holidayswe put together and and try to
get people to get excited aboutValentine's Day by by turning it
(10:31):
and twisting it, or any holiday.
So, you know, like I said, we weare in the business of making
people's lives more fun.
Little Kaninchen (10:42):
Lk, here your resident intimacy coach and
marital influencer. Just wantedto remind everyone that I offer
life and energy coaching with mymain focus being intimacy
coaching for individuals andcouples. I also mentor coach our
startup method of DSM walkingyou through how to begin the DSM
dynamics, I offer sessions forsituational clarity, meaning
(11:05):
helping you get through anysituation within your intimacy
journeys, vanilla or twisted, Ican help you find answers to
even the ultimate question isDSM for you and your partner.
You can find out moreinformation at secret intimacy
coach.comsign up for a session there.
Good news. If you belong to somemrs.com you already have direct
(11:25):
access to me in our Discordcommunity. Hope to chat to
everyone real soon.
Speaking of fun, we're going totalk about learn and embrace
playful eroticism, having acouple's understanding first,
that's what we're talking about,is everything that is planned
and done is in the spirit of funand consent. We always talk
(11:49):
about consent on everything. Soit's a spirit of fun, consent
and intimacy. You want to makesure, and I'm not just talking
sexual intimacy here. I'mtalking all kinds of intimacy.
So we learn about theseholidays. You combine them, turn
them both into what you reallywant. You take that vanilla,
what we would call maybe avanilla holiday, twist it into
(12:09):
what you want. First thing isyou use a sensual symbol, the
use of symbols from lubricalia,such as goats, because we talked
about the goats earlier and whattheir representation was, or
maybe take Roman Greek deitieslike pan.
(12:31):
He was a god of fertility andwild nature. So we all heard a
lot about pan and what pan did,and pan really got turned on by
goats.
So, but that's a whole notherpodcast. So,
Rianne (12:47):
yeah,
Little Kaninchen (12:48):
so these little symbols really can add an
erotic undertone to theatmosphere. You could create
playful decor featuring thesesymbols or use them in private
celebrations such as thisLupercalia in Valentine's theme
dinners or intimacy, like even asexual encounter, it can be all
(13:08):
themed around These symbols,
Rianne (13:13):
yes, well, save the ghost.
Instead of the traditionalLupercalian
ritual of striking women withgoat hides, well, why not make
it a light hearted game? Forinstance, you can just look
(13:39):
around your house. You may havea lot of different kinds of
Fauci rugs, throws other typesof material like that. Put them
on your table, your bed or yourfloor. You can also incorporate
playful spanking or gentleteasing using soft materials,
(14:02):
things like a feather, satinribbons, flowers and just be
creative. You know, just usewhatever you have around the
house, even it's all about whatfeels good for you, what you
want to do. And for me, I liketo make a list of things. When I
(14:24):
was first starting to, you know,try to create some of these
moments for my husband and I, Iwould have to write things down.
I made a list of what felt goodon my skin. And literally, I
would walk around my houseeverywhere, even in the
storeroom. You know, I have astoreroom full of holiday type
(14:48):
things you would not you wouldbe so surprised what you can
find in your own home. However,if you are at a loss, why not go
to a fabric store?
Or or a craft store, I was verypleasantly surprised by what I
found. There's so many fabrics,so many textures, and you know,
(15:11):
you can just buy a little bit ofthat little bit of this, and
just keep it on hand. Well,another thing that I did, I did
speak to my husband, you know,about what I was wanting to
create, and I had even sent hima mysterious or sexy note or
(15:32):
invitation for us to go shoppingtogether. And it was really just
to brainstorm some ideas, but itwas so much fun and actually
really great foreplay. We wentto hardware stores, fabric
stores, even you know, like yourlocal Lowe's or Home Depot, to
(15:58):
choose items that we couldactually use in our little scene
we're trying to create in ourhome. And people would stop to
ask if we needed help, and, youknow, trying to tell them what
we were looking for withoutsaying what their intended
purpose was.
(16:19):
But, I mean, it was, you know,we did that at the grocery
store, hardware store, craftstore, fabric store, and it was
just really sexy, knowing thatwhat we're buying this stuff
for, you know, but it's totallyvanilla. Everybody was, you
know, helping us. Not a big dealwhat we purchased, but we were
(16:41):
not going to use them in aregular way, just totally in a
naughty way. So the the wholesetup was, it was fun, it was
erotic. It was a just a big gameof foreplay, you know, out in
plain sight, but only the two ofus, new are naughty secret, and
(17:03):
you know, like I said, use yourheritage, as you know, as much
as you can to incorporate thatinto your own, your own
Lupercalia. And for us, wetotally embrace that. We even
have these Greek playing cardsthat have pottery, old pottery
(17:25):
symbols on them from the ancientGreeks, and they have every kind
of scene. So we would use justthe playing cards, lay them out,
and each of us would get to picka couple that we would use in
our, you know, our fun time.
Some of them,you know, were sexual scenes,
(17:47):
some of them weren't, but weeach picked our own and it went
from there. So that part wasreally fun. Just work on it
together. Use your imagination,and it is really a bonding thing
and experience like no other yesand, and if your husband is
busy, busy, busy. I use Amazonso much I can get stuff primed
(18:10):
if I don't have time to go out,because I have the traveling
husband as well. And sometimes,you know, I'm like, um, he tasks
me with saying, you know, do youwe have everything we need for
whatever ritual, like kind ofholiday thing we want to do, and
just him participating andsaying to me, communicating to
(18:32):
me that, hey, I want you to makesure we have everything for
This. You know, he bought awhole setup for our summer
solstice last year, and that wasa lot of fun. I didn't have to
do any of the shopping. And youknow, you know me, I love to
shop. I will shop 24/7, if youwant me to. But he did it, and
it was so nice. It was like, adifferent look at it, because
(18:56):
usually he's like, you know, ifyou want to participate in this
holiday, or do this ritual forthis holiday, then he's like,
please get that stuff togetherso we'll have it. Just having a
voice in it just makes a bigdifference. It gives you a
glimpse into their mind, whatthey're thinking, what you know,
their hot buttons. And I lovethat. Me too. Me too. I was
(19:20):
really excited, you know, tohave him do the summer solstice
one that we did last year. Thatwas a lot of fun.
Little Kaninchen (19:29):
Okay? And then we get into the next idea is the
erotic storytelling andliterature from Greek mythology,
erotic tales from anything. Imean, you can even go into the
Bible and read about the erotictales, a lot of them, and some
Bibles were taken out. But youcan definitely Google Roman
(19:50):
mythology, erotic Tales from theBible. Those of you who don't
know the god of wine, he isBacchus. He is also the god
essential pleasures. You know.
All of these tales can lend anerotic atmosphere to your
Valentine celebrations. The onething I tell everybody, every
couple Read, read, read, read,read, read, romantic, sensual
(20:12):
stories all the time. You knowthose books that everybody
laughs about, that they are, youknow, erotica. It's really fun
to read those, to highlightthem. I have them in my Kindle,
or, I guess it's on my Kindle,it's my iPad, and I highlight
certain things, and then Ialways pull those ideas for
(20:33):
things like this. You can findactual romantic books that are
the, I guess they're basicallybased from ancient times. I have
several of them that I've read,and they were really good. I
love learning about all of this.
Anyways, in those books, they dotheir own researches, so it's
good to use somebody else'sresearch and make it yours and
do it within your littlecelebration that you're doing.
(20:58):
They always talk aboutaphrodisiacs and foods, they
give you ideas and inspirations.
So look up those authors thatwrote the stories and poems from
those ancient times. And themore you read, the more ideas
you get, the more open you areto those ideas. And I always
say, Read, read, read. So takeyour readings, take your
(21:21):
findings from these stories, andlike I said, you can Google any
erotic tales from Greekmythology from the Bible, and
make them your own.
Rianne (21:32):
Yes, I absolutely agree with that. You have a good
erotic story or book. You cantake little passages and save
those, send them to yourhusband, you know, or maybe
write it down and read ityourself to
(21:54):
your husband. I'm not verycreative when it comes to
thinking of romantic or evensensual type notes. But like you
said, look it up there. I lookedup love letters from ancient
Greeks, Ancient Romans, and ohmy gosh, those were extremely
(22:18):
hot, the way, with words. And itwas just so flowery, so romantic
and very erotic, because theancient Greeks, the ancient
Romans, they were all aboutdesire, and from the very
beginning, that is their one ofthe absolute
(22:40):
roots of everything in theancient civilization was desire
and fertility. And fertility inthe body doesn't always mean a
product of offspring. It also isdefined by keywords such as
creating, conceiving andproducing. The Latin root word
(23:01):
is fertilous, bearing inabundance or being fruitful.
Anyone or anything can befruitful. It's just not always
product of offspring. Now,Lupercalia was tied to fertility
rituals, and so a more erotictwist on Valentine's Day could
(23:22):
involve focusing on building afruitful sensual pleasure
experience. Now this could be inthe form of sexy massage, body
painting, making body paintingsays wax play. This is where,
doing some research online, theycan give you all sorts of ideas,
(23:47):
if you just don't know where tostart. We even did something.
We bought a massage table, andit is a multi purpose massage
table. Yes, it is used for justyour regular massage, but we've
(24:09):
turned it into kind of apleasure pad, because you can do
body painting on the massagetable, and even
if you focus on food and touchbloshing
Little Kaninchen (24:24):
And well, splashing sound, sorry about
that splashing sound we couldcome up with. Hey, tell people
what squashing actually is,because a lot of people probably
don't know.
Rianne (24:38):
Well, washing is using food in a
sexual way. I mean, you can usefood as an insertable if you
would like, even if get asdaring as using a piece of
ginger, just do a lot ofresearch.
(24:59):
Research, and it's not foreveryone, but hey, if you want
to add a little extra, then thengo for it. But I say research,
communicate and consent is a isa big thing.
So just imagine chocolate and,oh yeah, whipped cream, or other
(25:21):
foods that are aphrodisiacs,like oysters, berries,
pomegranates. And the thingabout pomegranates, pomegranates
are an ancient fruit. They'reeven talking that the apple that
Eve enticed Adam with wasactually a pomegranate. So the
(25:44):
pomegranates go way back. It's asexy food, for sure.
Little Kaninchen (25:51):
Yes, and I keep hearing all of the great
things that come from eatingpomegranate lately.
Rianne (25:58):
Yes, pomegranates are all around so you could have the
sensual experience and behealthy.
There you go. It's a win win allthe way around. But you know,
it's celebrating the body andall its beauty build a fertile
atmosphere for eroticexperiences. One way you could
(26:20):
do that, private rituals androle play. And you know, the
sky's the limit. You can keep itsimple. You can build on do
whatever it is that you want todo. But just start, you can
design a private ritual roleplay sex scene where maybe you
and your partner dress up anentire that evokes ancient Roman
(26:45):
or Greco Roman themes. And oneway of doing that, you can make
your own or buy a togaincorporate gold and laurel
wreaths, which symbolize victoryand fertility, adding just a
subtle eroticism. This is whereAmazon can be your best friend
(27:05):
if you want to purchase thingsalready made on Amazon or just
by looking it gives you ideas,and you may have a lot of that
already at home.
I have a whole store room that,you know, I just keep something
just in case, and that way it'smy just in case area. And if I
(27:29):
want to cut it apart, reimagine,do whatever, I have those things
there, like I had a whole lot ofgold cloth that we used for
something else, and I made kindof a king type sash and outfit
for my husband, and I was morelike a sexy Greek slave girl,
(27:52):
and it was just just that littleBit. It created such a sensual
atmosphere like the originalcelebration. And, you know, kind
of really channeling some of theGreek deities, you know, like
Dionysus. He was, you know, thegod of wine and festivity and
(28:14):
fertility and fun. And, ofcourse, the worship of Pan he
was all about wild I mean, justwild.
Yeah, yeah. He was a god ofpleasure, but he was also the
God of all experiences. So, youknow, you want to experience
everything, all all yourfeelings, and it's, it's a great
(28:38):
time to do that. Well, anotherway is setting up a little tray
of different types of food. Youknow, you can research some of
the, you know, ancient foods,which pomegranate pops up all
the time. There's a lot ofothers, but also foods that are
aphrodisiac in nature, and ifyou're dressed up like, you
(29:03):
know, kind of Greco Romantype attire, very seductive, and
feed each other, you know, ifI'm like, you know, the the
servant or the slave girl, andI'm feeding my husband because
he's the the Greek god or TheGreek king, and you know, I'm
feeding him, maybe, you know,he'll suck on my fingers, or
(29:23):
vice versa. It just leads tojust so much sensuality and fun.
It's like you take off theblinders of being your proper
public facing person, and it'sjust you and your partner and
just enjoying each other,experiencing everything. It's
(29:46):
very hot, and since most men arevisual, you know, maybe the main
attraction could be a plushblanket or something.
Maybe.
In your living room or anotherroom, or even in the stairwell,
(30:07):
which provides a lot of fun typeactivities. Just use your house
in ways that you've never usedit before, and maybe on the on
the blanket you if you're daringenough you want to experiment
with a variety of sex toys.
Now's the time to bring themout. And, you know, maybe you've
had them for a while, dust themoff, you know, clean them up and
(30:29):
put on a little show for yourhusband. And maybe he wants to
join in too and use them on you.
And it's, it's very exciting,and just do some things, set
things up that you don'tnormally do, and just using
(30:49):
different parts of your housemakes it even more exciting. And
what this does, what my husbandhas told me, it just gave him a
glimpse into the way I think.
And even more so, instead ofjust telling him, Well, I think
I want this. I think I, youknow, want that, I set this up.
Maybe it's a surprise. Maybe weboth brainstormed on the whole
(31:15):
thing, but he got a glimpse intowhat I'm thinking, what I like,
in a way that just words can'tportray.
Little Kaninchen (31:27):
Yeah, and both partners. If both partners are
participating, you both get alittle bit of what you want, and
you would be surprised when youfind out what your husband
really is thinking, like, notthe vanilla thoughts, but his
real thinking of what reallyturns him on, what really and
and you wouldn't be thatprobably it's not that deep and
(31:50):
dark. Like a lot of men, whatthey're desiring are very simple
things, things that you don'tthink of. And then he'll throw
you once in a while, with onethat you know, that he wants to
add in there, and just him beinga part of it, whether it be
being able to actually be a partof buying the items, or maybe
(32:13):
him saying, I want to celebratelooper, Kalia and Valentine's
Day. I want to, I want to dothat. Why don't you make sure we
have everything together and allthink of some of the sexy things
to do for it, you know, or, youknow, you pick the dinner place,
and then I'm gonna plan the funafterwards. I mean, just having
(32:36):
that little bit of touch withinthe holiday makes a big
difference to us.
Rianne (32:43):
Yes, it's just a springboard for a lot of ideas,
and it's such a bondingexperience. And you will find a
lot of success with this, andyou will be able to use it
anytime you want. I justabsolutely love to do these
kinds of things,
Little Kaninchen (33:03):
yeah? And setting the mood, setting the
atmosphere. We'll talk a littlebit more about that by when
we're setting the mood and we'retalking mood, there's music and
atmosphere. Yeah? Music for themood, for the more indulgent and
sexual, sensual atmosphere. Youcan create a playlist of the
music that you feel that'sindulgent gives you
(33:23):
seductiveness. Also, we havefound classical music with an
Roman or ancient vibes. Thinkback to ancient times. What
would they use to evoke thefeelings of revelry and
seduction? I always think aboutancient chanting and
instruments, musicalinstruments. I think about that
(33:46):
harp sounds, harp harp musicheavy. I mean, I when I was
looking into this, I looked someof this stuff up, and it is
actually very sick. Harp musicis actually very sexy. And I was
so surprised. I was like, ohwow. I'm like, you know when I'm
listening to I'm like, oh yeah.
I could totally see how thiswould work within a scene or
even while you're having dinner.
(34:10):
It's very, verywhat is the word I want to use?
It's very, almost hypnotic. Isthe word I want to use? Then
they use flutes back then.
And that flute music very sexy.
And you can just put Google sexyflute music, and it will come up
with all kinds of good, goodmusic. They would have used
(34:34):
drums back then. And drums, youknow, you can find all kinds of
drum music that sounds supersexy, singing bowls that was
very big back in that time,they sound like a bell. And then
they can sound very,I don't know, it gives you
(34:57):
another ancient feeling. Youcan.
Find this music all put togetherto where they have all these
different ancient sounds andinstruments that they use, but
you know you can use any erotictones or music modern or ancient
and achieve that feeling. Youknow your partner. You know
(35:20):
yourself. You know what you bothreally like. But if you could
find some ancient music, I thinkthat helps a lot if you're
trying to actually do a scene oror something that seems like a
good role play. Lighting is theother thing. Candles are always
a way to set the mood. Now, youknow, we have cats, and I'm
(35:43):
always scared. You know, we haveset our cats tail on fire having
a romantic Valentine's dinner.
One time we were just married, Ithink it was probably like our
maybe second or third weddinganniversary, and we were broke,
so we bought steaks and we weregonna have like this fantastic
dinner at home, very romantic.
(36:03):
And, you know, we were justgetting started. We had set the
table. I had two tapered redcandles, of course, very
vanilla, very Valentine'spressure, a lot of pressure,
because I was like, I was makingmistakes. And I, I probably
wasn't the cook. I was back nowthat I, you know, the back then
I probably was not very good atit, and it was a lot of
(36:24):
pressure, and we were justsitting down. Everything was
great. You know, today, my catsgo everywhere. But it was our
very first pet, and her name wasMercedes, God bless her, and she
jumped up on the table. And shenever was allowed on the table.
She jumped up on the table. Ranacross it really fast, because
she knew that she would be introuble. She ran, and it caught
(36:46):
her tail on fire. So we bothjump up. We both jump up running
to get the cat, because there isa cat on fire in the kitchen. Oh
my.
And you could smell it burning.
And so I hate to say it, but thesmell of burnt hair and your
steak, and it kind of ruined thewhole thing. I think we might
have went out for pizzaafterwards or something.
(37:11):
It was, you know, and, and weended up having to take her to
the vet because she was burnt alittle bit. So lessons learned,
yeah, so like real candles. Ifyou have pets, maybe they have
such great candles now thatlooks so real, but they're
actually battery. I would justsay, you know, buyer beware. You
(37:31):
know, you know what you mightend up with a cat or a dog or,
you know, a candle gettingchewed up, or something like
that. So that was my littlestory. But you, you know,
lighting candles, I always say,incorporate dark colors into
your when you want it to be likeromantic and ancient, deep reds,
(37:53):
blacks, purples, colors ofroyalty. Use the scents because
specific scents were verypopular back in ancient times,
and Jasmine, tuba, Rosegardenia, orange blossom. These
are all called dirty whiteflowers, or lusty flowers. They
(38:14):
literally have the samecompounds in them as sweaty sex
does. So you can look up dirtywhite flowers. And actually,
what's so funny is I loveJasmine and gardenia and orange
blossom. Those are my those aremy favorite perfumes. So it's
just funny is that they happento be the dirty white flowers.
Rianne (38:35):
Well, if you want to put a different twist on writing as
well, if you're married to atechie guy like I am. We have
smart lights everywhere, andthey can be different colors.
They can go through a range ofcolors. They will change colors
(38:56):
according to music or even othersounds, and it really adds to
the whole experience, the wholeenvironment of creating a sexy
scene using lighting. So ifyou're into that, it's possible
to do that too.
Little Kaninchen (39:16):
Yeah, I could see dimming, you know, giving
commands to dim the lights alittle bit, or changing up the
romantic lighting to different,like I said, even those deep
reds, you know, that's that'svery romantic.
Rianne (39:34):
Yes, it is. It really is. Another thing too, along
that line, is an incorporatingsymbolic gifts and a token is an
item that serves as a visible ortangible representation, you
know, of a fact, a quality orfeeling and erotic gift or
(39:56):
tokens. Those were very popularin ancient.
Times and ancient traditions ofgiving gifts, even to this day,
going to another household, whenwe're visiting Greece, it is
customary to bring gifts orother symbolic tokens, and
(40:17):
that's a tradition that theystill hold dear, near and dear
now, but if you know, just do alittle research, give each other
some symbolic tokens offertility or love that's more
directly related to the eroticcould be luxurious lingerie,
(40:38):
romantic oils or sexual itemsthat you can use together, and
that's a lot of fun doing byeach other. Gifts like that. I
pick something that I I wouldlike, or I would think my
husband would like, and he woulddo the same for me. And it's
(41:00):
really exciting to buy thosethings, give them and use them
on each other. Now maybe it canalso that token or gift could be
given after an experience, tojust remind each other of the
experience that we had, maybe asmall statue or stone, or
(41:23):
anything that Valentine like, orLupercalia,
a goat heart Wolf, anythingthat's representative of the
ancient Romans, ancient Greekmaybe even a small ribbon for
them to keep until the nextValentine's Day. There's just so
(41:44):
many things that you can do youblend some of the erotic
undertones of Lupercalia withthe more romantic focus of
Valentine's Day. Createintimate, celebratory atmosphere
that's fun, playful, but deeplyconnected to love and lust and
(42:05):
mutual respect. They don't haveto be separate things. And what
my husband has told me is thatsome of the things that I've
done, you know, maybe surprisedhim with something or set up a
littlesomething in the living room or
elsewhere connected to a certainholiday, like Valentine's Day.
(42:25):
And it let out my, you know, mylust and my desire for him and
I, I didn't hold back, and hefelt very honored and very
respected.
I don't know if all that makessense, but that's what he told
(42:46):
me, that it really made him feelthat I just fed in to that part
of him, that a lot of times ithas to stay quiet or dormant
because he's, you know, busyworking or taking care of all
these, all these things. But hedefinitely felt that level of
(43:06):
lust and respect, and we wereable to, you know, keep that
going even in the middle of ofworking or being with family or
friends, some of those symbolsthat we gave to each other we
could keepand bring with us in those other
public or vanilla situations.
(43:31):
It's, you know, honoring thespirit of both festivals. And I
think that is a really goodidea. My husband is 100% Greek,
so of course, I loveincorporating his heritage into
our marriage and intimacy.
Giving him a Greek token couldbe, you know, a card or sketch
of arrows Cupid, which is thegod of desire. And this is how
(43:53):
serious the ancients really tooktheir desire. Because in the
beginning of all of Greekmythology there was Gaia, the
earth, Tartarus, which is theunderworld. Those are the two
places. And then arrows, the godof desire. So they desire is in
(44:18):
the foundation. They had theearth. They had the underworld.
Okay, let's get the God ofdesire here and enjoy ourselves.
It was all about, you know, thesensual enjoyment. And so desire
is at the foundation, at thebeginning. So just embrace every
part of that.
Little Kaninchen (44:42):
Yeah, I totally agree. Everything goes
back to the Greeks from thebeginning and how they taught
everybody how to embrace everypart of their love, from the
underworld to, you know, love,desire, embracing.
To your partner so important.
Rianne (45:03):
So celebrating each other, celebrating your love,
celebrating your love, itdoesn't have to be separate.
Little Kaninchen (45:10):
No, it does not. And actually it just gives
it another layer on top of whatyou already have. And these are
just ideas on how to make yourValentine's Day. Take that
Looper Kalia and just add it inthere a little bit, and you can
really come up with some greatideas. Do a few minutes of
homework. Let your partner knowthat you would like to, you
(45:31):
know, make this a little bitmore and get them involved if
they want to be involved. And,you know, make a really great
holiday out of it. There youhave it. We're bringing back the
little bit of Looper Kalia toshake up your Valentine's Day
traditions. Who knew a festivalof fertility and wildness could
add such a spark to your moderncelebration of love? Are you
(45:53):
ready to make your Valentine'sDay a little more untamed? I
know I am.
Are you thinking this dynamiccould really work for you and
your spouse? Things getting alittle robotic or dull? Do you
need some spice in yourmarriage? We invite you to visit
some mrs.com and husband.com tofind out more about marriages,
(46:14):
sexiest secret and how to beginyour journey. Hey, this is Mr.
Fox, and we want to take aminute to thank our podcast
listeners for their time. Thankyou. Thank you. We know how
precious time is, and if youenjoyed today's episode and want
more, yes, we do. Yes. Lk,always does. Subscribe to the
podcast and give us a five starrating while you're there, leave
(46:38):
us some positive feedback, letus know how we're doing.
Mr Fox (46:42):
If that's not enough and you want it harder, yes,
follow us on all of our socialmedia, which are linked at the
bottom of the page, on the shownotes. You never know what
special offers you may seethere.
Help us out by spreading theword of marriage's sexiest
secret, by mentioning us to yourmarried friends,
Little Kaninchen (47:04):
until next time, goodbye from our
Wonderland, this is okay and Mr.
Fox reminding you that ourcommunities are the only place
to learn the bedroom, maritalDSM, discover our method live
the dynamic marriage is sexysecret the ultimate marriage
successor.
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