October 29, 2024 • 33 mins
Join us on the Married AF Podcast as we tackle these questions, sharing our personal insights and an adventurous story from our trip to Hawaii. We also introduce a card game that helps couples spark meaningful conversations, moving beyond the everyday chatter to explore deeper connections and laughter. Our candid reflections aim to challenge the notion of marriage being overrated and celebrate the beauty and complexity of long-term commitment.
We celebrate the strengths of our relationship that have kept us thriving for 16 years—open communication, trust, and transparency. These values not only solidify our bond but also set a powerful example for our children. From small acts of love to shared victories, we discuss how being honest and true to ourselves enriches our family life. It’s a journey that we’re proud to share, hoping to inspire you to cherish the unique attributes of your own relationships.
With stories of encouragement and support, we reflect on how these elements have fueled our personal growth over the years. Whether it’s cheering each other on in life’s challenges or reliving pivotal memories, like our son’s middle school baseball tryouts, we emphasize the importance of pursuing passions and embracing new experiences. We wrap up with gratitude, and a heartfelt prayer—hoping to enrich your relationships and faith through the conversations we share.
Welcome to Ask Me Anything, the podcast where we give you biblical answers to...
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
here's a question for you is marriage overrated?
Why aren't people gettingmarried anymore?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
a new pew research poll found that two and five
young adults think marriage isan outdated tradition.
Marriage rates are at theirlowest right now.
Is marriage really even worthit?
More than half of marriages endin divorce.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
If you get married, you have to be stuck with this
person for the rest of your life, right?
That's why you get married.
So that's why it's declining.
Why would you get married ifyou don't?
If you want?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
to have just one partner when you can have
multiple Marriage?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
is stupid.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Welcome to the Married AF Podcast, the
self-proclaimed greatestmarriage relationship podcast in
the world.
My name is Matthew Powers.
Alongside my beautiful wifeMonica, we are your host for the
show.
Baby, how you doing.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Just okay.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Could you sound a little more enthused?
Woo-hoo, woo-hoo, yeah, boy, ifyou didn't want to listen, now
you most certainly do.
It's been a while since we havedone this, but we are back.
You're a year older since thelast time we recorded An amazing
29 years young.
(01:16):
We got back from our trip fromHawaii where we swam with sharks
a tiger shark, all sorts ofother sharks, a barracuda.
It was unbelievable.
We are back for the show.
Everybody welcome.
Thank you, who listened, whodownload, who watch, who
subscribe, who leave reviews,comments, all of the things.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
(01:36):
We greatly appreciate it.
It just helps people find theshow.
So if it's been a beneficial toyou at all, share it with other
people.
Let them know.
If your spouse is not listening, shame on them and shame on you
.
Share it with them.
Y'all listen together, talktogether about all of that,
because this is the Lord's andif he wants to take it somewhere
, it belongs to him.
(01:57):
So, baby, are you ready to getinto this fun little card game
that we stumbled across?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
You stumbled across.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
You stumbled across, I stumbled across, I thought it
was a great idea.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
And we kind of read through all of the cards last
weekend and picked out the onesthat we felt were more
appropriate for this.
Uh, cause there are definitelysome that were not for this.
This is not that type of show.
No, uh, you got to pay highmoney for that and it ain't
going to come from us Somepeople get it for free.
Some people do get it for free,but thank you, thank you.
(02:29):
Thank you for everyone who'slistening.
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Speaker 1 (02:38):
Very, very soft.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
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Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yes, I love mine.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
And it's unbelievable clothing.
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Not your first order, but yoursecond, your third, your fourth,
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So, before we dive into this,is there anything you want to
(03:03):
get off your chest, any thoughts, anything you want to talk
about before we dive into deeperquestions?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Is there something I need to say that I don't
remember right now?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
No, not to my knowledge.
I was just going to ask you hey, do you want to throw anything
out there before we get startedon this sucker?
I guess not.
I'm going to pick the firstcard up.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
And read it to you I really don't know what we're
doing.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Besides, there's cards on this listen.
We're just gonna pick cards.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
We're gonna read them and we gotta answer some
questions, because I think it'dbe good for couples to do the
exact same thing.
Absolutely, let's talk, let's,let's get into things, not just
the typical communication howwas your day?
Oh, it was fine.
How was your day?
It was okay, and let that be it.
What's for dinner tonight?
What do the kids' activitieshave to be?
Because when we did this, Imean we went for hours and hours
(03:51):
and hours.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
And we didn't realize what time it was.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
No, we went until like 2 am.
It was 2 am before we realizedlike holy smokes and some of
these questions were really dumbLike no, we're not going to
answer that, but we askourselves a lot of these
questions.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Some of them didn't make the cut, but these were the
ones that we said no, we needto save those.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yes, and they were the ones that were hey, this
could open up some really goodconversation for people.
So take notes, there's a lot ofthem.
We will not hit all of thesetoday, I can guarantee it.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
So you're asking me the question.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
And I have to answer, oh absolutely.
You have to answer, or just me.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Either We'll just, we'll decide as we go.
Listen, there's no, there's noset script for this.
So number one what's yourfavorite memory of us together?
There's so many, there are, butwhat is your number one?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Wow, why did you have to hit me with that one?
Wow, why did you have to hit mewith that one, the first one I
didn't have to do anything.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
It's fate had it.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I just picked the card up and that's what happened
.
This light behind me is reallyon my nerves.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yeah, you're like stalling I'm glowing because of
this light behind me you areglowing.
It is not pregnant.
No, it's impossible, it can'thappen.
Favorite memory of us together.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
I don't know how can I have just one?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
All right.
Well, what's one of your saytop 75?
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Our first date.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Why.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Because I was the homecoming queen for your grade
or whatever.
I was a sophomore, you were ajunior, you didn't have your
license yet, so we had to ridewith a friend.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Yes, we did.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
And it's my turn to get dropped off at home.
And you held my hand that night, but you were such a gentleman
in the car I just leaned up totell the person who was driving
I'm trying to.
Was it ben loftus?
maybe I don't remember who wasdriving I think it was ben maybe
(05:58):
anyways this is 1999 a longtime ago and when I lean up, I'm
just giving him directions onwhich way to go, instead of
because we didn't have gps orphones.
No gps, matt was just a thingyeah, you had to print those out
beforehand, right?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
so I just remember leaning up the whole time to
tell him which way to turn andyou just had your hand on my
back and I was he's touching myback oh it was just so sweet and
you didn't even kiss me thatnight I wanted to so badly, but
I didn't, you didn't, I didn'thappened a day later, but still,
(06:38):
I was on a day later it was thenext day.
Yeah, that was a friday night,it was Saturday.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
That was.
We went to homecoming on Friday.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yes, homecoming was completely different than
compared to what it was now.
True, you had the homecomingcourt, you went to the game, you
went out to eat, you did thedance and it was over after that
.
That is right.
So, yeah, the very next day,all in one day, remember us
together.
I like it.
Pick a card, that's very sweet.
Any card.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Are you not going to answer that?
Oh, I will answer what is it?
Speaker 2 (07:06):
That's definitely one of them.
I think back to when we livedin Tampa and it was Christmas
Day and it was just us.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I know what you're going to say.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yes, and it was just us.
You know, family was here inAlabama, we were in Tampa, we
had to work like the day beforeand the next day, so it wasn't,
we weren't coming home oranything like that.
So we stayed and it washorrible weather I mean
tornadoes, torrential rain,everything.
But we woke up on Christmas dayand we woke up early and it's
not like we really celebrated oh, here's all the gifts and
(07:36):
here's this.
We just woke up.
It's almost like a normal day.
So we decided, hey, let's go toDisney, because Disney is only
about 45 minutes or so away.
We did that every weekend and wewent in the torrential rain,
tornadoes everywhere and we wereone of maybe like 500,000
people in the whole park and itwas unbelievable and it was just
us and I mean we ran, we hidinside one ride I don't remember
(07:59):
what it was because of atornado warning.
And it's a great memory becauseit's so crazy, it was just us.
It's something only you and Icould share together and it's
just a great memory.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
We were like Peppa Pig, running and jumping in
puddles.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
We were soaking wet.
We had the ponchos on.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
And every time the tornadoes, the warnings would go
off, they would put us in thebuildings and we would shiver.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yes, because you were soaking wet and it was freezing
cold in those buildings.
It was such a cool thing thatyou don't get to experience very
often.
So it was an awesome littleChristmas.
Just us and rain and DisneyWorld Yep, doesn't get much
better.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
It was fun.
It was fun.
What's next?
Okay, I gotta get a rain run.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
What's it gonna be?
What's?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
it gonna be, this is a really good one.
Oh boy, what are the three mostimportant traits you look for
in a partner?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Oh, the most important traits.
The most important.
You know, I think it may shifta little bit over time, but
initially and it's not numberone, these aren't necessarily in
any particular order I thinkyou have to be attracted to that
person.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Well, obviously.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
You clearly do.
I think physical attraction isimportant because when you're
looking for someone, youshouldn't be just looking for a
date.
I mean, I think it's someoneyou need to look long term for.
I mean, it's the reason that we.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
So you're saying, don't look for money.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Don't look for money.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Somebody and see, I think.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
I think if a significant trait is money, that
should be way down on the list.
I should have nothing to dowith it.
But I think attractiveness issomething that does matter and
something that you need to makesure you're physically attracted
to, because we have physicalneeds that have to be met.
Um, as we get older, I think,uh one, can you just hold a
conversation?
Speaker 1 (09:49):
that can we just, can we have just?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
a conversation, not without having to have your
phone in your hand totally orwatch tv you know I I look at it
almost uh with, like thelayover test.
You know, if you're stuck at alayover with somebody, is this
someone you would want to bestuck at a layover in an airport
with?
Is it someone who is justboring, can't hold a
(10:13):
conversation, can't really thinkfor themselves?
But if it's someone that youcan get into a conversation with
and it doesn't have to beanything in particular, but just
a conversation where we cantalk for hours about no
particular subject I think thatis a high quality and something
that you're definitely lookingfor.
I like that.
One other thing that I look forin other people is or you know,
(10:35):
for a significant other, notother people.
Whoopsie, we got to cut that.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Would be Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Well, I think what you lookingfor.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Powers.
I do look for this in potentialemployees, how they speak of
friends, family.
But in a relationship, how dothey speak of past boyfriends or
girlfriends?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Well, if you don't have any.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
If you don't have any , you don't have any.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
The likelihood of that is rare, I guess now, yeah,
but this said, what are thethree most important traits you
look for in a spouse?
Not how you interview youremployees.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
You know what.
You're absolutely right.
Can they hold a conversation?
I think loyalty is a big onefor me.
Are they loyal?
Will they always be by yourside, through the ins, through
the outs, the ups, the downs,because it's not always sunshine
and rainbows at all.
Attractiveness is important, um, also, can they?
(11:30):
Are they somewhat independent?
Can they think for themselves?
Can they do things forthemselves?
Not saying to, we need to becompletely independent people
from each other and do our ownthing.
But just to know, especially togo go along with the loyalty
side of things is when I'm at my1%, can they actually carry the
(11:51):
99?
Speaker 1 (11:52):
But those are things that people don't think about.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
No, they don't.
And you realize that when you,when you pick it up, um and
after time, you realize thatthose are the things that are
more important.
But for me now, those are thethings that are more important,
but for me now, those are really, really important things.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
So if I were to die today, the three things that you
were going to look for in aperson are they hot?
No Are they loyal and can theythink for themselves?
Because if they can't think forthemselves, then we can't talk
or have nothing to talk about.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Can they have a conversation over hot?
Are they hot?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Well, you said attractiveness, they have a
conversation over hot.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Are they hot?
Well, you said attractiveness,it matters, it's important.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
What about you?
What are your three?
Well, yeah, they, they gotta bemy flavor and what is your
flavor?
I have a type of guy youdefinitely have a time.
I have a time big, bald,beautiful three b's I like them
big, I like them bold.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I'm glad you didn't say the other part of what that
song actually is.
What else?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Big ball.
It's beautiful.
I think of Hairspray.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
now, of course you do when they do big blonde Mommy's
movie.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Yeah, that's what the kids say.
I agree with the communication.
If I'm having to have aconversation with someone and
they cannot look me in the eyebecause they're too busy looking
at their phone, or somebodyelse that's walking by because
they're distracted, because whatI'm saying is not engaging
(13:22):
enough or not exciting enoughfor them, what's the point?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Are you?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
ever going to be good enough, and they have to be
honest.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Oh, big one, yeah, totally Period.
Have to be honest.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Because once you lie, I'm done with you.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah, it's tough to overcome that one.
All right, next for you, we'lljust go.
We're going to go right here.
Ooh, all right, I feel like.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I'm on a pageant and I'm getting my interview.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Question on stage you have 60 seconds.
What are our strengths as acouple?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Uh open communication period.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Non-judgmental.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Zero secrets.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
We tell each other everything.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
We tell each other everything, each other
everything.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
we have full access to each other's lives, to all
the passwords, all theeverything and trust total trust
I have zero doubts if I'm gonefor a length of time, like if,
like, I have a girl's tripcoming up anyways so I'll be
(14:34):
gone from friday to what tuesdayor something.
I have zero doubts that you'renot going to be able to take
care of all the things while I'mgone.
Now, when the kids were littlelittle, I would give daily
things to check you would givegood instruction but and that's
when I go to Juarez on a missiontrip which is also coming up.
(14:56):
So when I go there, I like and Iknow the kids are in school I
will give you a, or the kids achecklist of all the things they
need, to make sure that theyhave which they already know,
but they like being able to makethose check marks.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
I was going to say they love being able to make
those check marks.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I was going to say they love being able to just
check things off of the list andgo, but it also helps you.
Okay, this is what we got to do.
We got to make sure we havethis, we got to make sure we
have that, but I am at fullpeace knowing that you are going
to be able to take care ofthings, because I trust you.
I like that, Because ifsomething is not going the way
(15:32):
it's supposed to, you're goingto instantly call me.
Hey, baby, what does this mean?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Yeah, what in the world is this?
I don't understand.
I agree, I think those twothings, those are huge strengths
for us.
Two for me, that kind of stickout is, I think, our
transparency, not just to eachother, but we are who we are all
the time.
Whether we're sitting heredoing a podcast, whether we're
watching TV, we're out withfriends, we're at church, we're
at school, work, whatever it is,we are the same people all the
(16:01):
time and we're the same coupleall the time, like it doesn't
change at all.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
You are super important.
You are number one, absolutelyOn this earth.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
When you walk into somewhere and I'm already there,
my attention is diverted andbam, it comes to you and I make
sure to seek you out and kissyou and say hello and just make
sure that, hey, I'm so glad thatshe's here.
I think that's importantbecause it's something that we
can show to other people.
Hey, be your true selves and beyour true couple selves out in
the world.
So one our job is to kind of be.
(16:33):
We can help other people by theway we live our lives, and if
other people see, well, they cando it.
What are some things they dothat I like, that I can bring
into my own relationship?
I think that goes a long way,not saying we have it all
together because we don't.
No, we don't but how we are justout and about is, I think,
speaks a lot, and also that youknow, even after 16 years of
marriage, I think it's reallygreat that we still want each
(16:55):
other.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Like if I get the opportunity, I'm going to grab
your butt.
I'm going to cop a feel if I'mable to.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Even in public.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Does not matter.
No, and we, we we have thattogether because we do still
want each other, and I thinkthose are huge strengths as a
couple.
So what's next?
Speaker 1 (17:10):
All right, I'm going to knock all these off.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Please don't.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
All right.
What's something you're reallyproud of?
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Ooh, I'm proud of is to be able to sit and reflect
where we are today as a coupleand as people, to see how far
we've come from where we were 10and 15 years ago.
I'm very proud of the work thatwe have done, but the work that
(17:46):
the Lord has done in us toallow us to become the people
that we are now.
We're not there yet.
It'll take us a very, very longtime for us to be able to
actually get there, but I'mextremely proud for just
allowing the Lord to work in us,the way that he has, for us to
become the people that we havetoday.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Yeah, that is a really good one.
I'm proud of that one too.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Proud of anything else.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
A lot of things.
I'm just not the one thing thatI'm really proud of it's hard
to put your finger on just asingle thing.
I mean, are these questions ifyou were to die today kind of
questions?
If that's the case, I'm proudto say that I know what type of
(18:38):
children our children are goingto become as adults because of
how we parent, because we givethem a very healthy relationship
, mom and dad, relationship tochild, and they get to see a
husband wife marriage the wayit's supposed to be, loving each
(19:00):
other unconditionally, the wayJesus loves us.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I couldn't agree more .
I mean, that's if we were to gotoday, I can leave this earth
knowing and having comfort,knowing that, hey, our children
are going to be okay, thatthey're going to be good,
productive members of society.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Our son is going to do everything he can for the
women in his life that's a hugeone and then our daughter.
She's going to be your mother.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Yes, she is, but she's going to be your mother.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Yes, she is, but she's going to be.
She knows that Cashman is goingto be there for her, totally so
she's going to take care of him.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
They know that they have each other's back, and I
agree that's something for us tobe very, very proud of.
All right, what is somethingyour partner does that makes you
feel loved?
What's something I do thatmakes you feel loved?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
A lot of things, but I have to think of one.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
You have to try and think of just a single one.
If it's possible, just one,just one or two.
I mean, if you got two, I don'tknow why it's like endless.
Well, that makes me feel good.
You taking out the trashwithout being told.
Acts of service.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Acts of service go back and listen to love
languages.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Everybody.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Learn your spouse's love language I wake up on a
Saturday morning cause it's theonly day I get to sleep in when
I don't have sports or somethingto go coach, and there's
breakfast waiting on me.
I get to sleep in when I don'thave sports or something to go
coach, and there's breakfastwaiting on me, even if I wake up
at one o'clock in the afternoon.
It's there and it's waiting foryou.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
It's still there waiting on me, maybe in the
fridge, and I will warm it upfor you After acts of service
people.
Find out what makes yourpartner tick, Because
occasionally on that Saturdaymorning you may get a text.
Hey, I'm still in bed, whydon't you come join me?
And I'm just saying you knowthat could be a benefit don't
let the children know you walkin the door yeah, just sneak in,
I'm, I'm here, I'm waiting foryou.
(21:03):
It's like boom, let's go as fastas we can lock the door.
It happens, it's a benefit,that's a benefit.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
It is it?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
is, it is.
It's one way I know that I'mloved Go ahead and pick another
card.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Noted.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Noted Take note.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
What is the most meaningful and or impactful
thing you've received from yourpartner?
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Oh man, the most meaningful or impactful thing I
have received from you.
Ah, that's a good question.
I mean you really have to digback in the old Rolodex to be
able to find exactly what thatmay be.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I think I know what your answer should be, but I'm
not going to say it.
I'm going to see if you.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
No pressure, don't put me on the spot at all.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
My Lord, I mean the most impactful thing you've
received from your partner.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I mean, our children are definitely there, let's go
back a little bit further thanthat.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Forcing you to marry me is also there.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Oh yeah, that was so.
Not a thing.
You know it may sound corny andcheesy, but just be able to
have you in my life is you havechanged me completely.
Not saying that that's a badthing, but you have completely.
You push me in ways that Ididn't know were possible, and
that's something I'm thankfulfor and I think is very
(22:40):
meaningful and impactful for meis, you know, you know exactly
how far to push me, how hard topush me, and you push me hard in
certain areas, especially whenyou see something in me that
should be done or something Ishould accomplish.
You push me in ways to be ableto achieve that, and you're my
biggest cheerleader along theway, and I think that's
something insanely meaningful tome, because I would not be
where I am today without you,plain and simple.
There's no doubt about it.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Oh, that's sweet.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I missed it, though, obviously.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
That's way better than what I was going to say.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Oh what were you going to say?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
That time in high school where I made you stop and
I gave you a note with my phonenumber on it and you called me.
Made you stop and I gave you anote with my phone number on it
and you called me.
That was very impactful.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
That moment was, without a doubt, the most
impactful and meaningful momentever Because had you not lost a
bet, because you owed a friendmoney.
We may not be sitting heretoday.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
I was so scared to talk to you and they're like oh
bitch, double or nothing.
It was like five bucks and if Ididn't do it that would have
been 10 bucks.
I owed them, I didn't have.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
And see that is so on brand for you.
Just someone say you can't dothis, you won't.
It's like oh, watch me, nomatter what it is, you can't do
this or you won't do this.
It's like oh, hold up.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
And then you go and you accomplish and do that exact
thing.
Those words, for me, are likethe words you should not say to
Marty McFly Chicken.
Chicken.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
That's it.
You're exactly right.
It's the exact same situation,the exact same thing.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
But I did.
They're like you won't Doubleor nothing, Okay.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
You most certainly did All right.
Here's the next one.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
We still have that note.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yes, we most certainly do.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
We have almost all the notes Almost all the notes
that we wrote each other in highschool.
People don't write notes toeach other anymore.
They text each other.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
They send each other notes on their phones and
airdrop them to each other, andthat's it.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
They don't airdrop notes to phones, baby.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
That's just what we do on an airplane well, you
taught me that on the airplanenine and a half flight hour
flight back in the middle of thenight, where the plane was too
hot and we couldn't necessarilysleep, it was like, hey, let's,
let's just, you know, we'llairdrop notes to each other
because the wi-fi doesn't workeither.
Thanks a lot, delta.
All right, what keeps you up atnight other than your brain not
(24:49):
shutting off nothing, nothingnothing that keeps you up at
night other than your brain notshutting off nothing, nothing,
nothing that keeps you up atnight.
I sleep very well.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Yeah, you do when you go to sleep when I go to sleep,
sometimes my brain just reallyfunctions to the point where it
constantly works yeah, it does,there's not there's not a shut
off button.
I'll be up for 48 hourssometimes.
Sometimes you certainly will DoI have insomnia and I just
(25:14):
don't know it.
Maybe, but I don't know, Isleep really good when I go to
sleep.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Yeah, I mean you sleep Like when I leave to go to
the gym in the mornings.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
You don't even know you've left.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Well, and it's clear, with the new puppy, I'm the one
who clearly sees.
Well, hey, listen that's good.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Nothing keeps you up at night.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
what about you?
You know I not a whole lotkeeps me up at night, but what
does, uh, my enneagram, onesometimes of you know, hey, are
you really doing the best thatyou can?
Are you, are you good enough?
You know that.
Hey, are you really doing thebest that you can?
Are you good enough?
You know that could have beenbetter.
I mean that sometimes mostcertainly does that insecurity
of hey, are you actually?
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Insecurity is probably the best word to use.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Yeah, oh, it definitely does.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
And it is so strong with you.
It is that it has been passeddown to our son.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Yeah, it has, and I hate that.
But if there was one thing,it's probably that Are you
really doing the best?
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Because he was this past week when he was at middle
school baseball tryouts.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Just to let everyone know he tried out, for he's in
seventh grade, First tryout he'sever had for really anything.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Well, he did basketball, but he ain't a
basketball kid.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
No, that was like you're doing whatever man, okay,
sure, but he almost made that.
Which was shocking he tried outfor the middle school baseball
team.
He loves baseball, we lovebaseball, and man, it was
stressful baseball.
We love baseball.
Um, and man, it was stressfulfriday.
We were so freaking.
Tryouts were monday and tuesday, but friday.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
We knew the list was tuesday, wednesday tuesday,
wednesday, the.
The list was being posted onfriday and friday was stressful
and he was stressed out about itand he kept telling us how
horrible his tryout was.
He didn't do this, he couldhave done better at this, he
should have done this, hecouldn't have done this.
And I said oh my God.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
He is your son and it is and.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
I kept thinking maybe this kid is in his head so bad
he doesn't really know he can'tsee the good.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yeah, and it happens.
It's easy to let happen and Iwill say you know part of the
answer.
I said well, you make me better.
You have helped me with that somuch.
I used to be much more of amess when it comes to my
insecurity and not thinking that.
I'm good enough to be able tohave anything and you've always
helped me through it, but I mean, it's still something that
creeps in there every now andagain if it doesn't work, keep
(27:50):
going.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
If 12 years of professional wrestling didn't
tell you that, for me, theamount of no's I heard over and
over and over again.
I was like okay, well, tryagain keep trying, we're gonna
make it alright, one more?
Speaker 2 (28:08):
no, I'm gonna go Try again.
Keep trying.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
We're going to make it All right.
One more no, I'm going to goAll right.
If a fortune teller could tellyou one thing about your future,
what would you ask?
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Oh my God, If a fortune teller could tell me one
thing about my future, whatwould I ask?
Jeez, I um.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
I'm sure most people would get.
I want to know either how theydie or when they're going to die
.
I don't want to know that.
I could care less.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Well, honestly and I've had conversation with
people before Um, you know I'mI'm okay with whenever that time
is.
If it's tomorrow, it's tomorrow.
I know what the destination isNow.
Do I want a long, healthy lifeto spend with you and our
children?
Absolutely yeah, but I'mcomfortable with whenever that
moment comes.
It is what it is.
I've got no control over that.
(29:04):
What would I ask a fortuneteller?
How do I do you know?
Did I do?
Okay at this life.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
You think a fortune teller would be able to tell you
that?
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Well, they'd be able to tell me everything about my
future if I really wanted to.
So I just I think that's theonly question I'd really have is
you know, did, did, did, I do.
Okay, cause I really don't wantto know anything else.
I don't want to know about mydeath, I don't really want to
know about a million otherdifferent things.
So I don't know, I don't knowif I really have a whole lot of
(29:41):
questions for a fortune teller.
What about you?
Anything?
Speaker 1 (29:43):
I only have two and I can't narrow down to which one
I would want.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Oh boy, what would that be?
Speaker 1 (29:48):
One when do we retire ?
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Okay, and just get to do nothing or everything we
want to do, or do I really oneday get to have an own and run
my own personal haunted house?
Speaker 1 (30:16):
That you know what that sounds.
I know no one else would everprobably ask that, but I want to
know if I own one.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Because that's one of my biggest dreams.
Of all the questions thatpeople may have.
I don't know that that onemakes the list.
I mean that's like way, waydown Thousands of thousands, of
thousands of questions down thelist.
I think that's what peoplewould actually, you know, I
think that's way on down there.
So I mean pretty good questions, you know, for people who
(30:41):
listen, take these questions,ask your partner.
Y'all sit down, take an hour orso and let that be.
We have a special guest.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Oh boy, apparently we haven't paid attention to our
timing and my sister was comingto pick up the kids to take them
to this legal fall festival.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Well, she's early.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Yeah, our nephew's here.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Uh, oh, where are they?
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Good old Carson.
Come here, buddy.
Hey, what up dog?
Oh goodness Carson.
Come here, buddy.
Hey, what up dog.
Oh goodness Say hello.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
You want to say hello to all the people who are
listening.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Oh, gorby too.
Hey buddy, I got double troubleright here.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
That is double trouble right there.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
You're so cute, you want to say hey in the
microphone.
No, no, why don't you sing usthat song that you like so much?
No, what?
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (31:29):
You like singing that song?
Would you mull it?
Stop, let me go.
Where are you going?
Uh-oh, oh, one first, uh-ohReady.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
One, two, three, they're like I'm out of here One
, two three Bye.
Gone quickly.
Absolutely not.
I don't want to say nothing tonobody.
Do you want to say something?
Speaker 1 (31:49):
No, no is the answer.
They're so stinking cute,they're funny.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
But ask your spouse these.
These are great questions.
Talk about it.
We have many more.
We'll probably do this somemore and do this again, so let's
get out of here.
It's go time.
I love you.
I it's go time I love you.
I love you, beautiful God, welove you.
We are so thankful for justwhat you're doing.
We don't deserve it.
I don't know why we're here,but you designed it and this
belongs to you.
So, whatever it is you want todo with this, podcast our
(32:18):
prayers.
It's just reaches the ears thatneed to hear it and that you're
just able to you know, fosterconversations with people.
These questions are great, justto be able to have a more deep
connection with our significantother and God.
It's all designed and ordainedby you and we're just thankful
we get to be a part of it.
We love you.
We thank you in Jesus name,amen.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Amen Play ball.
here's a question for you is marriage overrated?
Why aren't people gettingmarried anymore?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
a new pew research poll found that two and five
young adults think marriage isan outdated tradition.
Marriage rates are at theirlowest right now.
Is marriage really even worthit?
More than half of marriages endin divorce.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
If you get married, you have to be stuck with this
person for the rest of your life, right?
That's why you get married.
So that's why it's declining.
Why would you get married ifyou don't?
If you want?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
to have just one partner when you can have
multiple Marriage?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
is stupid.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Welcome to the Married AF Podcast, the
self-proclaimed greatestmarriage relationship podcast in
the world.
My name is Matthew Powers.
Alongside my beautiful wifeMonica, we are your host for the
show.
Baby, how you doing.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
Just okay.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
Could you sound a little more enthused?
Woo-hoo, woo-hoo, yeah, boy, ifyou didn't want to listen, now
you most certainly do.
It's been a while since we havedone this, but we are back.
You're a year older since thelast time we recorded An amazing
29 years young.
(01:16):
We got back from our trip fromHawaii where we swam with sharks
a tiger shark, all sorts ofother sharks, a barracuda.
It was unbelievable.
We are back for the show.
Everybody welcome.
Thank you, who listened, whodownload, who watch, who
subscribe, who leave reviews,comments, all of the things.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
(01:36):
We greatly appreciate it.
It just helps people find theshow.
So if it's been a beneficial toyou at all, share it with other
people.
Let them know.
If your spouse is not listening, shame on them and shame on you
.
Share it with them.
Y'all listen together, talktogether about all of that,
because this is the Lord's andif he wants to take it somewhere
, it belongs to him.
(01:57):
So, baby, are you ready to getinto this fun little card game
that we stumbled across?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
You stumbled across.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
You stumbled across, I stumbled across, I thought it
was a great idea.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I like it.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
And we kind of read through all of the cards last
weekend and picked out the onesthat we felt were more
appropriate for this.
Uh, cause there are definitelysome that were not for this.
This is not that type of show.
No, uh, you got to pay highmoney for that and it ain't
going to come from us Somepeople get it for free.
Some people do get it for free,but thank you, thank you.
(02:29):
Thank you for everyone who'slistening.
We could not do this withoutour friends kingdomandwillcom.
Go check them out.
Great clothes, soft clothes.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Very, very soft.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yes, you wore one just the other day.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yes, I love mine.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
And it's unbelievable clothing.
Go check them out.
Kingdomandwillcom.
Use promo code MARRIEDAF 15%off.
Not your first order, but yoursecond, your third, your fourth,
your fifth, all of the ordersKingdomandwillcom.
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So, before we dive into this,is there anything you want to
(03:03):
get off your chest, any thoughts, anything you want to talk
about before we dive into deeperquestions?
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Is there something I need to say that I don't
remember right now?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
No, not to my knowledge.
I was just going to ask you hey, do you want to throw anything
out there before we get startedon this sucker?
I guess not.
I'm going to pick the firstcard up.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
And read it to you I really don't know what we're
doing.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Besides, there's cards on this listen.
We're just gonna pick cards.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
We're gonna read them and we gotta answer some
questions, because I think it'dbe good for couples to do the
exact same thing.
Absolutely, let's talk, let's,let's get into things, not just
the typical communication howwas your day?
Oh, it was fine.
How was your day?
It was okay, and let that be it.
What's for dinner tonight?
What do the kids' activitieshave to be?
Because when we did this, Imean we went for hours and hours
(03:51):
and hours.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
And we didn't realize what time it was.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
No, we went until like 2 am.
It was 2 am before we realizedlike holy smokes and some of
these questions were really dumbLike no, we're not going to
answer that, but we askourselves a lot of these
questions.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Some of them didn't make the cut, but these were the
ones that we said no, we needto save those.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yes, and they were the ones that were hey, this
could open up some really goodconversation for people.
So take notes, there's a lot ofthem.
We will not hit all of thesetoday, I can guarantee it.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
So you're asking me the question.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
And I have to answer, oh absolutely.
You have to answer, or just me.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Either We'll just, we'll decide as we go.
Listen, there's no, there's noset script for this.
So number one what's yourfavorite memory of us together?
There's so many, there are, butwhat is your number one?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Wow, why did you have to hit me with that one?
Wow, why did you have to hit mewith that one, the first one I
didn't have to do anything.
Speaker 2 (04:49):
It's fate had it.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I just picked the card up and that's what happened
.
This light behind me is reallyon my nerves.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Yeah, you're like stalling I'm glowing because of
this light behind me you areglowing.
It is not pregnant.
No, it's impossible, it can'thappen.
Favorite memory of us together.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
I don't know how can I have just one?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
All right.
Well, what's one of your saytop 75?
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Our first date.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Why.
Speaker 1 (05:23):
Because I was the homecoming queen for your grade
or whatever.
I was a sophomore, you were ajunior, you didn't have your
license yet, so we had to ridewith a friend.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Yes, we did.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
And it's my turn to get dropped off at home.
And you held my hand that night, but you were such a gentleman
in the car I just leaned up totell the person who was driving
I'm trying to.
Was it ben loftus?
maybe I don't remember who wasdriving I think it was ben maybe
(05:58):
anyways this is 1999 a longtime ago and when I lean up, I'm
just giving him directions onwhich way to go, instead of
because we didn't have gps orphones.
No gps, matt was just a thingyeah, you had to print those out
beforehand, right?
Speaker 2 (06:17):
so I just remember leaning up the whole time to
tell him which way to turn andyou just had your hand on my
back and I was he's touching myback oh it was just so sweet and
you didn't even kiss me thatnight I wanted to so badly, but
I didn't, you didn't, I didn'thappened a day later, but still,
(06:38):
I was on a day later it was thenext day.
Yeah, that was a friday night,it was Saturday.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
That was.
We went to homecoming on Friday.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
Yes, homecoming was completely different than
compared to what it was now.
True, you had the homecomingcourt, you went to the game, you
went out to eat, you did thedance and it was over after that
.
That is right.
So, yeah, the very next day,all in one day, remember us
together.
I like it.
Pick a card, that's very sweet.
Any card.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Are you not going to answer that?
Oh, I will answer what is it?
Speaker 2 (07:06):
That's definitely one of them.
I think back to when we livedin Tampa and it was Christmas
Day and it was just us.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
I know what you're going to say.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
Yes, and it was just us.
You know, family was here inAlabama, we were in Tampa, we
had to work like the day beforeand the next day, so it wasn't,
we weren't coming home oranything like that.
So we stayed and it washorrible weather I mean
tornadoes, torrential rain,everything.
But we woke up on Christmas dayand we woke up early and it's
not like we really celebrated oh, here's all the gifts and
(07:36):
here's this.
We just woke up.
It's almost like a normal day.
So we decided, hey, let's go toDisney, because Disney is only
about 45 minutes or so away.
We did that every weekend and wewent in the torrential rain,
tornadoes everywhere and we wereone of maybe like 500,000
people in the whole park and itwas unbelievable and it was just
us and I mean we ran, we hidinside one ride I don't remember
(07:59):
what it was because of atornado warning.
And it's a great memory becauseit's so crazy, it was just us.
It's something only you and Icould share together and it's
just a great memory.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
We were like Peppa Pig, running and jumping in
puddles.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
We were soaking wet.
We had the ponchos on.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
And every time the tornadoes, the warnings would go
off, they would put us in thebuildings and we would shiver.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yes, because you were soaking wet and it was freezing
cold in those buildings.
It was such a cool thing thatyou don't get to experience very
often.
So it was an awesome littleChristmas.
Just us and rain and DisneyWorld Yep, doesn't get much
better.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
It was fun.
It was fun.
What's next?
Okay, I gotta get a rain run.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
What's it gonna be?
What's?
Speaker 1 (08:43):
it gonna be, this is a really good one.
Oh boy, what are the three mostimportant traits you look for
in a partner?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Oh, the most important traits.
The most important.
You know, I think it may shifta little bit over time, but
initially and it's not numberone, these aren't necessarily in
any particular order I thinkyou have to be attracted to that
person.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Well, obviously.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
You clearly do.
I think physical attraction isimportant because when you're
looking for someone, youshouldn't be just looking for a
date.
I mean, I think it's someoneyou need to look long term for.
I mean, it's the reason that we.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
So you're saying, don't look for money.
Speaker 2 (09:26):
Don't look for money.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Somebody and see, I think.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
I think if a significant trait is money, that
should be way down on the list.
I should have nothing to dowith it.
But I think attractiveness issomething that does matter and
something that you need to makesure you're physically attracted
to, because we have physicalneeds that have to be met.
Um, as we get older, I think,uh one, can you just hold a
conversation?
Speaker 1 (09:49):
that can we just, can we have just?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
a conversation, not without having to have your
phone in your hand totally orwatch tv you know I I look at it
almost uh with, like thelayover test.
You know, if you're stuck at alayover with somebody, is this
someone you would want to bestuck at a layover in an airport
with?
Is it someone who is justboring, can't hold a
(10:13):
conversation, can't really thinkfor themselves?
But if it's someone that youcan get into a conversation with
and it doesn't have to beanything in particular, but just
a conversation where we cantalk for hours about no
particular subject I think thatis a high quality and something
that you're definitely lookingfor.
I like that.
One other thing that I look forin other people is or you know,
(10:35):
for a significant other, notother people.
Whoopsie, we got to cut that.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Would be Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Well, I think what you lookingfor.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Powers.
I do look for this in potentialemployees, how they speak of
friends, family.
But in a relationship, how dothey speak of past boyfriends or
girlfriends?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Well, if you don't have any.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
If you don't have any , you don't have any.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
The likelihood of that is rare, I guess now, yeah,
but this said, what are thethree most important traits you
look for in a spouse?
Not how you interview youremployees.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
You know what.
You're absolutely right.
Can they hold a conversation?
I think loyalty is a big onefor me.
Are they loyal?
Will they always be by yourside, through the ins, through
the outs, the ups, the downs,because it's not always sunshine
and rainbows at all.
Attractiveness is important, um, also, can they?
(11:30):
Are they somewhat independent?
Can they think for themselves?
Can they do things forthemselves?
Not saying to, we need to becompletely independent people
from each other and do our ownthing.
But just to know, especially togo go along with the loyalty
side of things is when I'm at my1%, can they actually carry the
(11:51):
99?
Speaker 1 (11:52):
But those are things that people don't think about.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
No, they don't.
And you realize that when you,when you pick it up, um and
after time, you realize thatthose are the things that are
more important.
But for me now, those are thethings that are more important,
but for me now, those are really, really important things.
Speaker 1 (12:05):
So if I were to die today, the three things that you
were going to look for in aperson are they hot?
No Are they loyal and can theythink for themselves?
Because if they can't think forthemselves, then we can't talk
or have nothing to talk about.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Can they have a conversation over hot?
Are they hot?
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Well, you said attractiveness, they have a
conversation over hot.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Are they hot?
Well, you said attractiveness,it matters, it's important.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
What about you?
What are your three?
Well, yeah, they, they gotta bemy flavor and what is your
flavor?
I have a type of guy youdefinitely have a time.
I have a time big, bald,beautiful three b's I like them
big, I like them bold.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I'm glad you didn't say the other part of what that
song actually is.
What else?
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Big ball.
It's beautiful.
I think of Hairspray.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
now, of course you do when they do big blonde Mommy's
movie.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Yeah, that's what the kids say.
I agree with the communication.
If I'm having to have aconversation with someone and
they cannot look me in the eyebecause they're too busy looking
at their phone, or somebodyelse that's walking by because
they're distracted, because whatI'm saying is not engaging
(13:22):
enough or not exciting enoughfor them, what's the point?
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Are you?
Speaker 1 (13:28):
ever going to be good enough, and they have to be
honest.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Oh, big one, yeah, totally Period.
Have to be honest.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Because once you lie, I'm done with you.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Yeah, it's tough to overcome that one.
All right, next for you, we'lljust go.
We're going to go right here.
Ooh, all right, I feel like.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I'm on a pageant and I'm getting my interview.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Question on stage you have 60 seconds.
What are our strengths as acouple?
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Uh open communication period.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Non-judgmental.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Zero secrets.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
We tell each other everything.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
We tell each other everything, each other
everything.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
we have full access to each other's lives, to all
the passwords, all theeverything and trust total trust
I have zero doubts if I'm gonefor a length of time, like if,
like, I have a girl's tripcoming up anyways so I'll be
(14:34):
gone from friday to what tuesdayor something.
I have zero doubts that you'renot going to be able to take
care of all the things while I'mgone.
Now, when the kids were littlelittle, I would give daily
things to check you would givegood instruction but and that's
when I go to Juarez on a missiontrip which is also coming up.
(14:56):
So when I go there, I like and Iknow the kids are in school I
will give you a, or the kids achecklist of all the things they
need, to make sure that theyhave which they already know,
but they like being able to makethose check marks.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
I was going to say they love being able to make
those check marks.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
I was going to say they love being able to just
check things off of the list andgo, but it also helps you.
Okay, this is what we got to do.
We got to make sure we havethis, we got to make sure we
have that, but I am at fullpeace knowing that you are going
to be able to take care ofthings, because I trust you.
I like that, Because ifsomething is not going the way
(15:32):
it's supposed to, you're goingto instantly call me.
Hey, baby, what does this mean?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Yeah, what in the world is this?
I don't understand.
I agree, I think those twothings, those are huge strengths
for us.
Two for me, that kind of stickout is, I think, our
transparency, not just to eachother, but we are who we are all
the time.
Whether we're sitting heredoing a podcast, whether we're
watching TV, we're out withfriends, we're at church, we're
at school, work, whatever it is,we are the same people all the
(16:01):
time and we're the same coupleall the time, like it doesn't
change at all.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
You are super important.
You are number one, absolutelyOn this earth.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
When you walk into somewhere and I'm already there,
my attention is diverted andbam, it comes to you and I make
sure to seek you out and kissyou and say hello and just make
sure that, hey, I'm so glad thatshe's here.
I think that's importantbecause it's something that we
can show to other people.
Hey, be your true selves and beyour true couple selves out in
the world.
So one our job is to kind of be.
(16:33):
We can help other people by theway we live our lives, and if
other people see, well, they cando it.
What are some things they dothat I like, that I can bring
into my own relationship?
I think that goes a long way,not saying we have it all
together because we don't.
No, we don't but how we are justout and about is, I think,
speaks a lot, and also that youknow, even after 16 years of
marriage, I think it's reallygreat that we still want each
(16:55):
other.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
Like if I get the opportunity, I'm going to grab
your butt.
I'm going to cop a feel if I'mable to.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Even in public.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Does not matter.
No, and we, we we have thattogether because we do still
want each other, and I thinkthose are huge strengths as a
couple.
So what's next?
Speaker 1 (17:10):
All right, I'm going to knock all these off.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Please don't.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
All right.
What's something you're reallyproud of?
Speaker 2 (17:24):
Ooh, I'm proud of is to be able to sit and reflect
where we are today as a coupleand as people, to see how far
we've come from where we were 10and 15 years ago.
I'm very proud of the work thatwe have done, but the work that
(17:46):
the Lord has done in us toallow us to become the people
that we are now.
We're not there yet.
It'll take us a very, very longtime for us to be able to
actually get there, but I'mextremely proud for just
allowing the Lord to work in us,the way that he has, for us to
become the people that we havetoday.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Yeah, that is a really good one.
I'm proud of that one too.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Proud of anything else.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
A lot of things.
I'm just not the one thing thatI'm really proud of it's hard
to put your finger on just asingle thing.
I mean, are these questions ifyou were to die today kind of
questions?
If that's the case, I'm proudto say that I know what type of
(18:38):
children our children are goingto become as adults because of
how we parent, because we givethem a very healthy relationship
, mom and dad, relationship tochild, and they get to see a
husband wife marriage the wayit's supposed to be, loving each
(19:00):
other unconditionally, the wayJesus loves us.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I couldn't agree more .
I mean, that's if we were to gotoday, I can leave this earth
knowing and having comfort,knowing that, hey, our children
are going to be okay, thatthey're going to be good,
productive members of society.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Our son is going to do everything he can for the
women in his life that's a hugeone and then our daughter.
She's going to be your mother.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Yes, she is, but she's going to be your mother.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Yes, she is, but she's going to be.
She knows that Cashman is goingto be there for her, totally so
she's going to take care of him.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
They know that they have each other's back, and I
agree that's something for us tobe very, very proud of.
All right, what is somethingyour partner does that makes you
feel loved?
What's something I do thatmakes you feel loved?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
A lot of things, but I have to think of one.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
You have to try and think of just a single one.
If it's possible, just one,just one or two.
I mean, if you got two, I don'tknow why it's like endless.
Well, that makes me feel good.
You taking out the trashwithout being told.
Acts of service.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Acts of service go back and listen to love
languages.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
Everybody.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Learn your spouse's love language I wake up on a
Saturday morning cause it's theonly day I get to sleep in when
I don't have sports or somethingto go coach, and there's
breakfast waiting on me.
I get to sleep in when I don'thave sports or something to go
coach, and there's breakfastwaiting on me, even if I wake up
at one o'clock in the afternoon.
It's there and it's waiting foryou.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
It's still there waiting on me, maybe in the
fridge, and I will warm it upfor you After acts of service
people.
Find out what makes yourpartner tick, Because
occasionally on that Saturdaymorning you may get a text.
Hey, I'm still in bed, whydon't you come join me?
And I'm just saying you knowthat could be a benefit don't
let the children know you walkin the door yeah, just sneak in,
I'm, I'm here, I'm waiting foryou.
(21:03):
It's like boom, let's go as fastas we can lock the door.
It happens, it's a benefit,that's a benefit.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
It is it?
Speaker 2 (21:13):
is, it is.
It's one way I know that I'mloved Go ahead and pick another
card.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
Noted.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Noted Take note.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
What is the most meaningful and or impactful
thing you've received from yourpartner?
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Oh man, the most meaningful or impactful thing I
have received from you.
Ah, that's a good question.
I mean you really have to digback in the old Rolodex to be
able to find exactly what thatmay be.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
I think I know what your answer should be, but I'm
not going to say it.
I'm going to see if you.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
No pressure, don't put me on the spot at all.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
My Lord, I mean the most impactful thing you've
received from your partner.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
I mean, our children are definitely there, let's go
back a little bit further thanthat.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Forcing you to marry me is also there.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Oh yeah, that was so.
Not a thing.
You know it may sound corny andcheesy, but just be able to
have you in my life is you havechanged me completely.
Not saying that that's a badthing, but you have completely.
You push me in ways that Ididn't know were possible, and
that's something I'm thankfulfor and I think is very
(22:40):
meaningful and impactful for meis, you know, you know exactly
how far to push me, how hard topush me, and you push me hard in
certain areas, especially whenyou see something in me that
should be done or something Ishould accomplish.
You push me in ways to be ableto achieve that, and you're my
biggest cheerleader along theway, and I think that's
something insanely meaningful tome, because I would not be
where I am today without you,plain and simple.
There's no doubt about it.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
Oh, that's sweet.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
I missed it, though, obviously.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
That's way better than what I was going to say.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
Oh what were you going to say?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
That time in high school where I made you stop and
I gave you a note with my phonenumber on it and you called me.
Made you stop and I gave you anote with my phone number on it
and you called me.
That was very impactful.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
That moment was, without a doubt, the most
impactful and meaningful momentever Because had you not lost a
bet, because you owed a friendmoney.
We may not be sitting heretoday.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
I was so scared to talk to you and they're like oh
bitch, double or nothing.
It was like five bucks and if Ididn't do it that would have
been 10 bucks.
I owed them, I didn't have.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
And see that is so on brand for you.
Just someone say you can't dothis, you won't.
It's like oh, watch me, nomatter what it is, you can't do
this or you won't do this.
It's like oh, hold up.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
And then you go and you accomplish and do that exact
thing.
Those words, for me, are likethe words you should not say to
Marty McFly Chicken.
Chicken.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
That's it.
You're exactly right.
It's the exact same situation,the exact same thing.
Speaker 1 (24:03):
But I did.
They're like you won't Doubleor nothing, Okay.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
You most certainly did All right.
Here's the next one.
Speaker 1 (24:11):
We still have that note.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yes, we most certainly do.
Speaker 1 (24:14):
We have almost all the notes Almost all the notes
that we wrote each other in highschool.
People don't write notes toeach other anymore.
They text each other.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
They send each other notes on their phones and
airdrop them to each other, andthat's it.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
They don't airdrop notes to phones, baby.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
That's just what we do on an airplane well, you
taught me that on the airplanenine and a half flight hour
flight back in the middle of thenight, where the plane was too
hot and we couldn't necessarilysleep, it was like, hey, let's,
let's just, you know, we'llairdrop notes to each other
because the wi-fi doesn't workeither.
Thanks a lot, delta.
All right, what keeps you up atnight other than your brain not
(24:49):
shutting off nothing, nothingnothing that keeps you up at
night other than your brain notshutting off nothing, nothing,
nothing that keeps you up atnight.
I sleep very well.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Yeah, you do when you go to sleep when I go to sleep,
sometimes my brain just reallyfunctions to the point where it
constantly works yeah, it does,there's not there's not a shut
off button.
I'll be up for 48 hourssometimes.
Sometimes you certainly will DoI have insomnia and I just
(25:14):
don't know it.
Maybe, but I don't know, Isleep really good when I go to
sleep.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
Yeah, I mean you sleep Like when I leave to go to
the gym in the mornings.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
You don't even know you've left.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Well, and it's clear, with the new puppy, I'm the one
who clearly sees.
Well, hey, listen that's good.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Nothing keeps you up at night.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
what about you?
You know I not a whole lotkeeps me up at night, but what
does, uh, my enneagram, onesometimes of you know, hey, are
you really doing the best thatyou can?
Are you, are you good enough?
You know that.
Hey, are you really doing thebest that you can?
Are you good enough?
You know that could have beenbetter.
I mean that sometimes mostcertainly does that insecurity
of hey, are you actually?
Speaker 1 (25:59):
Insecurity is probably the best word to use.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Yeah, oh, it definitely does.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
And it is so strong with you.
It is that it has been passeddown to our son.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Yeah, it has, and I hate that.
But if there was one thing,it's probably that Are you
really doing the best?
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Because he was this past week when he was at middle
school baseball tryouts.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Just to let everyone know he tried out, for he's in
seventh grade, First tryout he'sever had for really anything.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Well, he did basketball, but he ain't a
basketball kid.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
No, that was like you're doing whatever man, okay,
sure, but he almost made that.
Which was shocking he tried outfor the middle school baseball
team.
He loves baseball, we lovebaseball, and man, it was
stressful baseball.
We love baseball.
Um, and man, it was stressfulfriday.
We were so freaking.
Tryouts were monday and tuesday, but friday.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
We knew the list was tuesday, wednesday tuesday,
wednesday, the.
The list was being posted onfriday and friday was stressful
and he was stressed out about itand he kept telling us how
horrible his tryout was.
He didn't do this, he couldhave done better at this, he
should have done this, hecouldn't have done this.
And I said oh my God.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
He is your son and it is and.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
I kept thinking maybe this kid is in his head so bad
he doesn't really know he can'tsee the good.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Yeah, and it happens.
It's easy to let happen and Iwill say you know part of the
answer.
I said well, you make me better.
You have helped me with that somuch.
I used to be much more of amess when it comes to my
insecurity and not thinking that.
I'm good enough to be able tohave anything and you've always
helped me through it, but I mean, it's still something that
creeps in there every now andagain if it doesn't work, keep
(27:50):
going.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
If 12 years of professional wrestling didn't
tell you that, for me, theamount of no's I heard over and
over and over again.
I was like okay, well, tryagain keep trying, we're gonna
make it alright, one more?
Speaker 2 (28:08):
no, I'm gonna go Try again.
Keep trying.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
We're going to make it All right.
One more no, I'm going to goAll right.
If a fortune teller could tellyou one thing about your future,
what would you ask?
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Oh my God, If a fortune teller could tell me one
thing about my future, whatwould I ask?
Jeez, I um.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
I'm sure most people would get.
I want to know either how theydie or when they're going to die
.
I don't want to know that.
I could care less.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Well, honestly and I've had conversation with
people before Um, you know I'mI'm okay with whenever that time
is.
If it's tomorrow, it's tomorrow.
I know what the destination isNow.
Do I want a long, healthy lifeto spend with you and our
children?
Absolutely yeah, but I'mcomfortable with whenever that
moment comes.
It is what it is.
I've got no control over that.
(29:04):
What would I ask a fortuneteller?
How do I do you know?
Did I do?
Okay at this life.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
You think a fortune teller would be able to tell you
that?
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Well, they'd be able to tell me everything about my
future if I really wanted to.
So I just I think that's theonly question I'd really have is
you know, did, did, did, I do.
Okay, cause I really don't wantto know anything else.
I don't want to know about mydeath, I don't really want to
know about a million otherdifferent things.
So I don't know, I don't knowif I really have a whole lot of
(29:41):
questions for a fortune teller.
What about you?
Anything?
Speaker 1 (29:43):
I only have two and I can't narrow down to which one
I would want.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Oh boy, what would that be?
Speaker 1 (29:48):
One when do we retire ?
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Okay, and just get to do nothing or everything we
want to do, or do I really oneday get to have an own and run
my own personal haunted house?
Speaker 1 (30:16):
That you know what that sounds.
I know no one else would everprobably ask that, but I want to
know if I own one.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Because that's one of my biggest dreams.
Of all the questions thatpeople may have.
I don't know that that onemakes the list.
I mean that's like way, waydown Thousands of thousands, of
thousands of questions down thelist.
I think that's what peoplewould actually, you know, I
think that's way on down there.
So I mean pretty good questions, you know, for people who
(30:41):
listen, take these questions,ask your partner.
Y'all sit down, take an hour orso and let that be.
We have a special guest.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Oh boy, apparently we haven't paid attention to our
timing and my sister was comingto pick up the kids to take them
to this legal fall festival.
Speaker 2 (31:01):
Well, she's early.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Yeah, our nephew's here.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Uh, oh, where are they?
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Good old Carson.
Come here, buddy.
Hey, what up dog?
Oh goodness Carson.
Come here, buddy.
Hey, what up dog.
Oh goodness Say hello.
Speaker 2 (31:12):
You want to say hello to all the people who are
listening.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Oh, gorby too.
Hey buddy, I got double troubleright here.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
That is double trouble right there.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
You're so cute, you want to say hey in the
microphone.
No, no, why don't you sing usthat song that you like so much?
No, what?
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Why not?
Speaker 1 (31:29):
You like singing that song?
Would you mull it?
Stop, let me go.
Where are you going?
Uh-oh, oh, one first, uh-ohReady.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
One, two, three, they're like I'm out of here One
, two three Bye.
Gone quickly.
Absolutely not.
I don't want to say nothing tonobody.
Do you want to say something?
Speaker 1 (31:49):
No, no is the answer.
They're so stinking cute,they're funny.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
But ask your spouse these.
These are great questions.
Talk about it.
We have many more.
We'll probably do this somemore and do this again, so let's
get out of here.
It's go time.
I love you.
I it's go time I love you.
I love you, beautiful God, welove you.
We are so thankful for justwhat you're doing.
We don't deserve it.
I don't know why we're here,but you designed it and this
belongs to you.
So, whatever it is you want todo with this, podcast our
(32:18):
prayers.
It's just reaches the ears thatneed to hear it and that you're
just able to you know, fosterconversations with people.
These questions are great, justto be able to have a more deep
connection with our significantother and God.
It's all designed and ordainedby you and we're just thankful
we get to be a part of it.
We love you.
We thank you in Jesus name,amen.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
Amen Play ball.
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