April 29, 2025 • 37 mins
What's driving the surprising trend of women initiating 70% of divorces in 2024? We're tackling this eye-opening statistic and diving deep into the reasons behind this significant shift in marriage dynamics.
The data challenges our traditional assumptions about who ends marriages and why. Through honest conversation, we unpack three primary reasons women cite for leaving: emotional disconnection, lack of support, and differences in personal growth trajectories. Each represents a fundamental breakdown in what makes marriages thrive – meaningful communication, equal partnership, and mutual support through life's evolutions.
Beyond identifying problems, we explore clear warning signs that your marriage might be heading toward trouble. From withdrawal from meaningful conversations to avoidance of physical intimacy and preferring time apart, these indicators serve as early alert systems for relationships in distress. Most importantly, we offer practical prevention strategies that any couple can implement to strengthen their bond before it reaches a breaking point.
Our discussion takes an unexpected turn as we share personal stories about sacrificing individual dreams for our partnership. From turning down a WWE contract to reluctantly starting this podcast, we've learned firsthand that the "we before me" mindset builds resilience in marriage. This isn't about martyrdom – it's about finding joy in growing together rather than apart.
Marriage isn't "work" – it's intentional connection with your best friend. When you control what you can – your effort and attitude – your relationship can reach heights you never imagined possible. Whether you're struggling or thriving, this episode offers valuable perspective on building a marriage that stands the test of time. Share your thoughts with us – we especially love hearing success stories of couples who've overcome these challenges!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Surprising reasons.
Women are leaving theirmarriages, because here's the
latest stat out of 2024.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Oh boy.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
That of 70% of divorces were initiated by women
here's a question for you ismarriage overrated?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
why aren't people getting married anymore?
Speaker 1 (00:36):
a new pew research poll found that two and five
young adults think marriage isan outdated tradition.
Marriage rates are at theirlowest right now.
Is marriage really even worthit?
More than half of marriages endin divorce.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
If you get married, you have to be stuck with this
person for the rest of your life, right?
That's why you get married, sothat's why it's declining.
Why would you get married ifyou don't, if you want to have
just one partner, when you?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
can have multiple marriage is stupid welcome to
the married af podcast, theself-proclaimed greatest
marriage relationship podcast inthe world.
We're your hosts, matthew andmonica powers baby yep I love
you I love you I'm gonna goahead and preface this episode
okay not with the typical hey,children, cover your ears,
(01:18):
because that's usually what it'sall about.
Not today, not this one.
Go listen on previous.
If that's what you're you'relooking for today, don't get mad
at me okay because I know thistopic could fire you up a little
bit okay it's not me.
I didn't do this okay okay, canI?
Go ahead and get the.
Okay, hey, don't, don't get madat me for this you are doing
(01:43):
your best to say yes, but you'rethinking nope, may not happen.
All right, okay, because thetopic today is something that's
probably typically beencountercultural as far as what
the norm has typically been.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
But the surprising reasons women are leaving their
marriage okay women, here's astat for you please tell me why
this is gonna fire me up.
Women are leaving theirmarriage.
Okay, Women, here's a stat foryou.
Please tell me why this isgoing to fire me up.
And you?
It's just not.
I shouldn't be mad at you.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Just because I just don't shoot the messenger is all
I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Okay, so this is going to make me real mad.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
It could fire you up a little bit.
Okay, and see it in yourbeautiful eyes already.
But the surprising women,surprising reasons women are
leaving their marriages, becausehere's the latest stat out of
2024.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Oh boy.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
That of 70% of divorces were initiated by women
70% of all divorces in 2024initiated by women.
70 of all divorces in 2024initiated by women.
That is completely against whatwe the norm has usually been
really I believe the thought hasusually been men are the ones
(02:58):
who want to get out of themarriage.
Men are the ones who are goingto initiate the divorce.
That's that's typically beenhow it's looked at and that's
what the stats have usuallyshown.
Who are going to initiate thedivorce?
That's typically been how it'slooked at and that's what the
stats have usually shown.
Men are going to initiate thedivorce.
But now culture's kind ofshifted and we've seen this over
the last 15, 20 years.
But culture's kind of shiftedfor women and women empowerment
(03:19):
and there's a lot of greatthings that come out of that and
I'm totally on board with a lotof that.
But some of it has causedmarriages to separate in a very,
very bad way.
Some of it probably valid, someof it not so valid, if you ask
me, but 70% of divorces areinitiated by women.
(03:39):
The belief is that men areusually the ones to end their
marriages, and it kind of mademe want to explore just a little
bit deeper.
So here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
I don't think that I'm shocked by that.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Really.
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Because I would feel like, well, if they were stable
in their marriage.
They were stable in theirmarriage.
Most men cheat on their wives Ishouldn't say most men when it
comes to divorce you betterwatch yourself woman.
When it comes to divorce.
(04:16):
Most women want the divorcebecause their spouse cheated on
them.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
I could see that being a reason.
Yes, I could see that being areason, but is this statistic
coming from just marriages thatare men and women, or is this
stat a everyone that's married?
Or are there lesbians, morelesbians leaving?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
who?
Baby listen, I'm, I'm, I'm overhere on this and you just took
this sucker to a whole differentlevel.
I'm so sorry listen, I um, Ican't answer that question
because I don't know.
I'm gonna say typical men andwomen divorce, because that's
kind of where the direction ofthis goes because other people
that are not men and women thatare married they get.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
There is something flying around in here again and
it's driving me crazy it's our,it's our married af, it's our
married af mascot to be a fly onthe wall right, but it's common
for same-sex marriages now, sodo these statistics take in that
too?
Because I know lesbians thathave been married and they're
(05:22):
now divorced.
So if that's the case, thatnumber is going to go up,
especially if it just says womenare leaving their spouses.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
You're not wrong.
Let's just say for argument'ssake for this context, it's from
men and women.
Ok, because, yes, typically menhave been the ones to initiate
the divorce and men have, in thepast, were the ones who were
the serial cheaters and the oneswho are always cheating.
That has shifted.
Initiate the divorce, and menhave, in the past, were the ones
who were the serial cheatersand the ones who are always
cheating.
That has shifted over the years.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Why.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Because now more women are cheating than men, and
some of that is the old man'sfault for not treating their
wives the correct way, givingthem the attention and the love
and the respect and everythingthat they actually need.
So I want to ask you thisquestion have you ever had the
(06:09):
thought to leave, leave Me.
While married.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Yes, I mean, you've pissed me off a few times, but
See, just to give you a safespace on that.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I fully believe you should have left me early on and
kind of shocked that you'restill here in some ways.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Prior to children.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
We both should have left each other.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Totally agree.
I should have left you plentyof times.
And dadgum, you should haveleft me plenty of times.
And dad come, you should haveleft me plenty of times.
But only through the grace ofgod.
Are we still actually?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
here, even when we didn't know.
It was the grace of god, ohyeah, we didn't believe it at
all.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
We just, I guess, figured it's probably just our
own stupidity yeah easy to sayand I believe that most married
couples could probably at somepoint and say yeah, there was a
moment that I was kind of maybeclose at some point in time, but
because of grace I didn't,which is great, because we all
need a lot of grace a lot of thetime.
(07:13):
But currently women 70 percentare initiating the divorces.
So why is that I got?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
some reasons.
You have reasons.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Oh, I have some reasons as to why this is
happening.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Top three reasons that we see, please do not tell
me One of the main reasons isbecause they want to have a
divorce party, because you knowthat's a thing.
Now, right, I know that's athing that is not on here.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Oh, thank God.
Okay, you can breathe, you canbreathe just a little bit.
Have a divorce party, becauseyou know that's a thing.
Now, right, I know that's athing.
Um, that is not on here oh,thank god okay, you can breathe.
You can breathe just a littlebit.
That is not on here.
Number one reason as to why isemotional disconnection yikes
emotional disconnection says.
Over time, some women feel agrowing emotional distance from
their partner.
This detachment can stem from alack of meaningful
(08:05):
communication or sharedexperience, shared experiences
leading to feelings of isolation.
This one, I totally see this.
This is a basic need for womenis to have that type of
connection and, unfortunatelyfor men, we're too dense and too
(08:26):
dumb sometimes to believe andsee that.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yes, but you also have to have communication to
know that it's happening.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Totally.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
So this is a BS excuse.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Why do you think that ?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
it's selfish.
It's as much his fault as it isyours, because how many times
were there open lines ofcommunication to tell him that
you felt that way, truly,honestly, tell him.
Not while he's asleep and can'thear the words coming out of
(09:12):
your mouth, not during a gamethat he's watching on TV and
there's probably been timeswhere women have said that and
they've said that, knowing he'snot going to pay any attention
to her because one she doesn'tcare about the things that he
cares about to watch with him.
And you probably told him inthe moments where there was a
(09:36):
big something and somethinghappened.
He's like, ah, and the responsewas not to you, it was to the
TV, because the 18-year-olddropped the ball and you took it
as he was talking to you.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
That's a key point.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Now I'm also the type of person that's not going to
believe everything that you tellme, like if I were a therapist
which we're marriage counselorpeople, right, if I'm just have.
If there is only one of thecouple husband or wife it
doesn't matter.
(10:16):
If only one of them showed upand they poured their heart out
to us about how they are treated.
And then they come back anothertime and spouses with the one
that spilled out their heart.
They completely changed theirtone, the things that are said,
(10:39):
because that's just how theyfelt when their husband or wife
wasn't around and they felt okayto say that in that safe space
you should have a safer spacewith your spouse than you would
any kind of marriage counselor,therapist anybody Friend family
member, anybody, anybody.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I totally agree.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Because I believe, just because you told me that
story, that your whole story isaccurate.
There's your story, there's hisstory, and then there's the
truth.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yes, and that's so important, especially when
you're talking to a couple, orcounseling a couple is when
there's stuff going on.
All right, you, wife, you needto get it all out on the table.
Husband, keep your mouth shut,don't say a word.
Wife, get out of here.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
And we've had to do that before where, uh-uh, this
is not your time, Like ps lifeand we've had to do that before
we're?
Uh, this is not your time Likestop talking.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
It is her turn.
Everything laid all out.
Let's hear every, every littlething that has gone on,
everything you've seen,experience, felt valid, or all
of it out on the table.
Okay, great.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Emotions are real and people really feel what they
feel.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
But that doesn't mean this person sitting next to you
is the reason you feel that way.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
No, and a lot of the times not.
So it's wife.
You get everything out.
Possibly get it all out rightnow in the open.
Let's lay it on the table.
All right, you're done.
Okay, wife, no speaking Husbandgo Lay everything out on the
table, all of your feelings, allof the emotions, all the
instances, everything thathappened.
Let's open up the table.
(12:20):
Let's lay everything out.
Okay, you're both done.
All right, now let's begin topick up, piece by piece, and
begin to put this back together,and that's all you're able
going to do.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
So I don't't.
This is a stupid excuse don'tlove this excuse, huh.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Emotional disconnection, while real, I
think, easily preventable andwe'll get to that.
Second reason is a lack ofsupport.
Many women shoulder adisproportionate amount of
emotional labor andrelationships.
When their efforts gounrecognized or unreciprocated,
it can lead to burnout andresentment.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Your thoughts I have never heard more selfish words
than that right there.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Wow, true feeling True, you True feeling True you
feel this way.
Your feelings are valid, thatyou feel that way.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
But I've been trying to take him to, we've been
trying to do like marriagecounseling, but he just won't go
with me.
So what am I supposed to do?
Just be in misery for the restof my life?
Yeah, you're going to bemiserable for the rest of your
life, no matter what spouse youhave, because that alone is.
(13:41):
Those words are what I hear allthe time.
I, I, me, I, I, we before me.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
We've talked about it before I, I, we before me,
we've talked about it beforeAlways, we before me, now again,
while the emotions are validand they are real and this is
how you feel and there arereasons for that, they have to
be taken into consideration, butfeelings are the worst decision
makers.
That we have Period, that wehave period.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
And I guarantee you, because these people are so
selfish, they're only talking topeople that are going to agree
with them.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
And not going to say shut up.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Beep Listen.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
You are doing this, you are acting this way, you are
being like this.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
They don't want to hear the truth.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
We typically don't want to surround ourselves with
people who are going tochallenge us and call us out on
our BS, because we all have alot of it.
We need people who are going tocall us out and say, well, I
see your point, but that's notthe truth.
Here's truth and this is whatyou need to see.
We like to surround ourselveswith people who are going to
validate our feelings andvalidate us, and that's not not
(14:55):
the way it needs to happen.
So, emotional disconnection,lack of support.
The third reason it's theirpersonal growth.
As individuals evolve, theirneeds and aspirations may change
.
If a partner is unsupportiveand dismissive of these changes,
it creates a rift that feelsinsurmountable.
So, not acknowledging andjumping on board with personal
(15:19):
growth?
Now I'll say something beforeyou dive in.
I'm all for personal growth.
We all should grow personallyin every way possible.
We want to be able to grow andmove forward.
Totally on board with that.
But we before me, our growthtogether, is far more important
(15:44):
than any any desire that I havethat.
The old hated scripture inEphesians women submit to your
husbands most hated, probablythe most hated scripture in
Ephesians women submit to yourhusbands most hated, probably
the most hated words inscripture.
But husbands love your wives,women.
They're going to submit to yourhusband's leadership.
Now, husbands, you have to be aman worth submitting to meaning
(16:07):
.
I'm giving up all my desiresfor my wife.
What she wants comes above myown wants and needs.
But this my own wants and needs, but this my own personal
growth.
I want this, I need this.
I aspire to be this.
I want to succeed here.
I want to achieve this and ifyou're not on board with me
(16:27):
achieving that, done Thoughts,done.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Thoughts.
I could not imagine living lifethat way, even in our BC life,
before Christ life.
Let me give you an example Backin 2011, you and I have been
(17:01):
married what Three years.
Three years, maybe Three yearsOkay.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Before kids.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
This was before kids.
That year, the same month I waspreparing to well, at the time
we were both preparing to moveback to Tampa because I was
(17:26):
going to work for WWE.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
WWE contract on the table ready to go and we were
preparing for that, and that itwas personal growth.
You talk about personal growthand that was where I wanted to
be.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
That was the pinnacle of all of my career.
That's where I wanted to be.
That was a goal.
I have hit just about everysingle goal.
Okay, let's be honest, I havehit every goal that I have set
myself up for.
The contract there was.
I knew I was going to WWE andthat was exactly where I wanted
(18:01):
my career to go Done.
We were moving.
You knew that was my dream,trying to get transferred from
the position you had with workwhen we were in Birmingham back
to Tampa.
So you would at least have ajob Knowing we were going to
(18:22):
move there and I would be gone48 out of the 52 weeks of the
year, not going to see eachother.
I'm going to be gone who knowswhere.
I would be traveling all overthe world.
But you were there becausethat's exactly what I wanted to
do and it might have only lasteda year, but that it got there.
The same freaking week, I getthis exact hey, this is
(18:48):
happening.
Hey, this is happening.
I'm going to work for WWE.
I just need to go to St Louis Iguess it was something like
that in a couple weeks to signmy contract.
Blah, blah, blah.
The same week, your father askedyou to come work for the
(19:10):
company that has been in thefamily for now three generations
.
This was your dream.
Your dream was to own thefamily business one day.
You never really saw ithappening, but the same week
that I get my dream job, you areoffered yours.
(19:34):
And you didn't even want totell me because we were in
California, family reunion typeof deal, 4th of July week, so
many emotions, we're just havinga blast.
But you didn't tell me.
But I overheard it and I saidum, do we need to talk?
(20:00):
Is there something you need totell me?
And you didn't want to.
And I said I already know andyou're taking it.
You said what do you mean?
I said because I'm callingright now to tell them I am not
going to St Louis or wherever Iwas going.
I'm not taking this contract,you are going to work for your
(20:22):
family.
You were likeabso-freaking-lutely not.
You were doing what you wantedto.
Because that's what you wanted,I said no.
Well, back then it was FCcw,florida championship wrestling
now and with the usos, right,that's how long I was in the
business.
So fcw, which was a 25 000contract or inherit, a
(20:52):
multi-million dollar companythat could go for the rest of
our lives, compared to a careerthat could go for possibly a
year, just depending on injuries.
Cuts get made all the time overhere.
I said I'm done and you werecompletely against it and I said
(21:16):
, absolutely not.
We are taking the betterdecision, and that was to take
the business.
It wasn't going to be ours foranother 10 plus years, but it
didn't matter, because thatlong-term outlasted what I
wanted to.
At that moment, I gave up what Iconsidered a dream for me, for
(21:37):
yours, because that was thesmart thing to do.
Did I make it?
Yeah, essentially I did.
I got to where I wanted to be.
Did I become this famouswrestler?
No, do I care?
No, did I work for WWE a littlebit?
Yeah, I did, but we still havea business.
(21:59):
Am I wrestling anymore?
Nope, in the process, you'reprobably selfish enough to think
well, I'm going after what Iwant.
This was even to be seen.
We were not even thinking well,let's pray about it.
What would God want us to do inthese situations?
(22:21):
It was a hard.
No, I am not wrestling anymore.
You are going to work for yourfamily.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
I'm going to figure something else out.
It was, it was totally that.
And the crazy thing is is weare both.
It was both a no.
We're going after your dream.
Never was it once a no.
This is what I really want.
I didn't say that to you,didn't say that to me.
It was a no.
And you don't want to say helpforce the decision, but you help
(22:52):
bring the decision intoperspective.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
And be like look, this is the rest of our lives.
Let me bring in a more recentone 2021.
We outgrew our small group atour house.
I said Matthew, it is time towrite a book.
And you finally went okay, fine, I'm going to write a book.
(23:22):
Did you write a book?
It is 2025.
No, let me tell you, you didnot write a book.
You came home with podcastequipment and said baby,
starting a podcast?
I said we nothing.
I told you to write a book andyou said well, we're gonna do
this instead.
I have been hardcore againstthis podcast since day one yet
(23:49):
here we are.
Not once have I said no, I'm notdoing that podcast.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Nope, because you've seen the fruit of that labor and
the impact that it does have.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Obviously, this is what God wanted us to do.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
For now, yeah, and we'll continue to do it until he
says stop.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
It could happen tomorrow, it could happen 10
years from now, I don't know,but we're going to trust him.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yes, Because statistics don't know but we're
going to trust them.
Yes, because statistics don'tlie.
No, no, they don't.
We might not be completelygoing hardcore on scripture on
every single podcast, but we areputting biblical content into
every single podcast, tellingpeople how a marriage should be,
(24:33):
what it should look like, andthe bible is one thousand
percent our manual and nobodyseems to care to open it.
Obviously, if these women whowere very interested in getting
a divorce would know, this isnot how I'm supposed to act.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
No, it is.
The Bible is the instructionmanual.
You want to know anythingthat's going on in your life?
The answer is there.
You just got to look for it.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Sex, drugs and rock and roll.
That is the Bible.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
It is, every little bit of it is in there and if you
just look for it you will findit.
And I promise, we've livedthrough the experience, we've
done it our way, our way, we'vedone it God's way, and, oh my
goodness.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
I will never go back to my way.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Never go back to my way, because we always fell
short, felt good, maybe for ashort amount of time, but we
always fell short.
So those top three reasonswomen are divorcing.
So signs this could behappening really quickly and
ways to prevent this.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Are these options for men to go?
Okay, this is happening and mywife's about to leave me because
she's selfish.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I think this is both.
Women especially should be ableto recognize this.
But men, if you're in tune atall, you should be able to
recognize this too, to be ableto hopefully open up that door.
Obviously, of course,withdrawal from communication,
withdrawal, noticeable declinein meaningful conversations and
emotional sharing, and I thinkthat's the key to it, the
(26:03):
meaningful part of conversations, where it gets back to the just
let's lay out the list of thethings that need to be done,
great, let's move on, and that'sit.
Second reason avoidance ofphysical intimacy.
If you're avoiding it, there'sdifferent drives, obviously, but
(26:25):
if you're just outrightavoiding it, yeah, this is a
sign that you're headed downthis road, at least I.
I totally agree with that.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Oh, I do too, headed down this road At least, I
totally agree with that.
Oh, I do too, because if you'renot one, if you're not having
sex, you're going to go have sexwith somebody else and get it
for somebody else somewhere else.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Does not make it right.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Does not make it right.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
It is the wrong move, but it is the reality of the
situation.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Right, okay, so couples that are not having sex
in their marriage are notemotionally in tune with each
other?
Because I don't care what yousay, there's emotions and sex.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Yeah, I mean, there's always been this mindset that
you can separate emotions andsex and it's just casual and
it's just to feel good.
It wasn't created that way.
God created it for a certainspecific way.
It wasn't created that way andwe can lie to ourselves as much
as we want to and say thatthere's no emotional connection,
(27:28):
but that's not how it wascreated.
And it exists and it's there.
Whether we want to see it ornot, or believe it or not, or
even initially feel it or not,it's there.
It's always there, and when youdo have sex with someone, you
are tied to them forever.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
I mean 50 cents has it completely wrong.
He's only into having sex.
He needed to make it love.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Well, there you go.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
I know you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
No, no, I don't At all.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
It's a very popular song from our college years.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Well, that explains it all.
Okay, but yes, avoid.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
You can find him in the club.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I know that one.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
That's the song, baby .
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I also know that he threw out one of the worst first
pitches ever in the history offirst pitches, that's ever
existed.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
We just totally dissed on 50 Cent.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
I did 50 Cent actually.
He's incredible.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
He's now a businessman, but that was when
he first came out.
He just needed to get his nameout there and talk about stuff.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
He's an incredible intelligent guy, very great
businessman, has done someamazing things.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
I mean yeah, things um.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
I mean vitamin, water , listen if 50 cent if this gets
to 50 cent, listen come see me,we can work on the arm and we
can redeem that I would actually.
I would love nothing more tohave a sit down with him,
because the guy's got storiesbut man the guy has got so much
wisdom that been through a lotpeople should probably listen to
(28:54):
, but the song is wrong.
The song is wrong, but you knowit is what it is.
There you avoid physicalintimacy.
The third one I think this ishuge Increased time apart where
you find yourself where you'drather spend time alone or doing
things with other people andnot sharing activities and
experiences together.
More interested in hanging outwith friends, going out with the
(29:16):
girls, have a brunch, girlsnight, Then time with your
spouse I mean, men are nodifferent You'd rather go out
with the boys and pound beersand watch the game.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I don't want the wife to nag me.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Yeah, I just I've said it millions of times, but I
would rather go do something Idon't enjoy with you than go do
something that I do enjoywithout you.
I just do.
I love spending time with you,so those are signs that could be
happening.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
This is also a reason why we do not have a chair.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
No.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Or you have a chair.
No.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Don't have a lazy boy .
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Or your seat, that's just for you.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
And even on the couches.
We don't have a specific spoton the couch.
It changes almost daily.
Wherever one is, the other isdoing our best to get next to
them, unless our kids of course,oh, they just jack all the
spots.
They do, they do.
So those are three ways thiscould be happening real quickly,
three ways to prevent this.
Hey, shock, shocker prioritizeopen communication?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
no way.
This is just.
This is the topic of everything.
Keep being number one.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Imagine that I don't know, but anyone who listens,
especially um, consistently,you're noticing this constant
theme and everything that wetalk about Open communication,
open communication.
Maybe this is ringing a bell.
Should I look at how wecommunicate?
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Ding, ding ding.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Maybe so, maybe not, but prioritize open
communication, shareresponsibilities Equitably,
dividing household and emotionallabor to prevent resentment Now
I know we talked about thisearlier and dividing it up.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
You look like you got a sneeze coming.
I got this cough Clear thatthroat.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
Oh, my goodness gracious.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
It looks like you were struggling.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
I was struggling, trying not to cough directly
into the microphone.
Sorry for people who arelistening.
That's going to be tough to tryand edit out, but we'll get
there.
But back to it Divide upresponsibilities.
Now I don't love the idea todivide up.
We'll do them together.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Yes, Now there are certain things that I won't do
and you just don't do.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
It's true.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Are you fighting that sneeze Really?
Speaker 1 (31:35):
That's not a sneeze, it is a cough.
I just this is too muchspeaking today.
Just too much speaking today.
Tickle in my throat, but dothis stuff together.
You know I say all the time andno one ever wants to join me on
this.
I don't understand why I funbut nobody in my house likes to
party because we have clothesfolding parties and I'm the only
(31:56):
bloody person who shows up tothe party yes, you are the kids
avoid me.
You avoid me.
We walk out of the room,everything.
Actually.
You'll come lay on the bed andI'll watch you, watch me fall
close but I'm there with you andthat's really all.
And I'm Looking for mybeautiful, but do things
together.
My grandmother always said manyhands make light work, but do
(32:18):
things together.
And the third one support thepersonal growth, because, again,
it's important that we all grow, but grow together, be more
focused, it's not about you.
Be more focused to grow together.
So it's important Recognizethese signs.
(32:40):
It's real, it exists.
Stats don't lie, this is real,so recognize them.
Go through the steps, ways toprevent this.
Now.
These are reasons why women areleaving marriages and men might
be thinking ha see, look atthat.
Don't think that you're not onthe hook.
Tune in next time, for reasonsmen are leaving marriages as
(33:06):
well.
That might make my blood boiltoo it might make your blood
boil just a little bit.
So it goes both ways and ourgoal is just marriage is the
greatest thing in the world.
It is the absolute greatestgift, and I want people to be
able to experience it the waythat I have.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I want that too, because I get so irritated when
I hear marriage is so much work.
This is the easiest thing inthe world for us.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
It's how people will say find something that you love
and you'll never work a day inyour life.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Well, I ain't ever going to work.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
That is this.
I don't see it as work and Iunderstand it takes work, but I
hate to use the term work.
I know you hate this word, butI like to use the word
intentionality.
You have to be in tune and youhave to make the effort, because
you can't just not make effortat all.
But this is the greatest thingthat we will ever do and it is
(34:09):
so much fun.
Our best friend in the world Iget to spend time.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I get to have a sleepover with my best friend
every single night.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Yes, I get to have a sleepover every single night.
I get to share any funny insidejoke with my favorite person in
the world.
I get to laugh more than Icould ever even imagine.
I get to just be close to theperson who makes me better in
life.
What is not to love about that?
Speaker 2 (34:36):
And what kind of work is that?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
It's not.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Maybe work is overused?
Yes, you have to put in alittle effort, but if effort is
work, you've never really hadsomething you loved.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Find something you'll love and you'll never work a
day in your life.
Have that same attitude towardsyour marriage.
I tell Cash a lot of the times,especially with sports and with
baseball always control whatyou can control.
But the two things you cancontrol more than anything else
is effort and attitude.
Same is true in our marriage.
We can't control a whole lot,but we can control our effort
(35:14):
and our attitude.
And if we control those well,put everything into those two
your marriage will hit heightsthat you never even thought were
possible.
So reasons women are divorcingmen and leaving their marriages.
Man, you're on the hook for thenext episode after this one
comes out.
Listen, if this resonates withyou at all.
We'd love to hear from you.
(35:35):
We'd love to hear these storiesMaybe this was you and you were
able to come out of it thosesuccess stories we want to hear
more than anything else, becausethat is what helps drive
community and for people to beable to have marriages and
relationships the way Godintended them to be.
And that's what this is allabout being able to have a
community of people together tohelp lift each other up and walk
(35:56):
it out together.
This is the most fun thing inthe world that we get to do, and
I want people to be able toexperience it.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Final thoughts.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
I love you so much.
Time to go.
Okay, god, we love you.
We are so thankful foreverything that you do.
We're thankful for our marriage.
I'm thankful for this woman youbrought into my life.
God, I pray everyone is able toexperience that it's all
ordained by you, it's allcreated by you and I pray people
are able to see that and justwalk it out the way in which you
created that.
(36:25):
They'll look to you for answers, they'll look to you for
guidance, for strengths, forwisdom.
Through it all that they willstrictly look to you and if we
can be an avenue and a conduitfor people to do that, thank you
, just thank you, for allowingus to do that.
God, we love you.
We look to you in Jesus name,amen.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Amen Play ball.
Surprising reasons.
Women are leaving theirmarriages, because here's the
latest stat out of 2024.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Oh boy.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
That of 70% of divorces were initiated by women
here's a question for you ismarriage overrated?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
why aren't people getting married anymore?
Speaker 1 (00:36):
a new pew research poll found that two and five
young adults think marriage isan outdated tradition.
Marriage rates are at theirlowest right now.
Is marriage really even worthit?
More than half of marriages endin divorce.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
If you get married, you have to be stuck with this
person for the rest of your life, right?
That's why you get married, sothat's why it's declining.
Why would you get married ifyou don't, if you want to have
just one partner, when you?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
can have multiple marriage is stupid welcome to
the married af podcast, theself-proclaimed greatest
marriage relationship podcast inthe world.
We're your hosts, matthew andmonica powers baby yep I love
you I love you I'm gonna goahead and preface this episode
okay not with the typical hey,children, cover your ears,
(01:18):
because that's usually what it'sall about.
Not today, not this one.
Go listen on previous.
If that's what you're you'relooking for today, don't get mad
at me okay because I know thistopic could fire you up a little
bit okay it's not me.
I didn't do this okay okay, canI?
Go ahead and get the.
Okay, hey, don't, don't get madat me for this you are doing
(01:43):
your best to say yes, but you'rethinking nope, may not happen.
All right, okay, because thetopic today is something that's
probably typically beencountercultural as far as what
the norm has typically been.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
But the surprising reasons women are leaving their
marriage okay women, here's astat for you please tell me why
this is gonna fire me up.
Women are leaving theirmarriage.
Okay, Women, here's a stat foryou.
Please tell me why this isgoing to fire me up.
And you?
It's just not.
I shouldn't be mad at you.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Just because I just don't shoot the messenger is all
I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Okay, so this is going to make me real mad.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
It could fire you up a little bit.
Okay, and see it in yourbeautiful eyes already.
But the surprising women,surprising reasons women are
leaving their marriages, becausehere's the latest stat out of
2024.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Oh boy.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
That of 70% of divorces were initiated by women
70% of all divorces in 2024initiated by women.
70 of all divorces in 2024initiated by women.
That is completely against whatwe the norm has usually been
really I believe the thought hasusually been men are the ones
(02:58):
who want to get out of themarriage.
Men are the ones who are goingto initiate the divorce.
That's that's typically beenhow it's looked at and that's
what the stats have usuallyshown.
Who are going to initiate thedivorce?
That's typically been how it'slooked at and that's what the
stats have usually shown.
Men are going to initiate thedivorce.
But now culture's kind ofshifted and we've seen this over
the last 15, 20 years.
But culture's kind of shiftedfor women and women empowerment
(03:19):
and there's a lot of greatthings that come out of that and
I'm totally on board with a lotof that.
But some of it has causedmarriages to separate in a very,
very bad way.
Some of it probably valid, someof it not so valid, if you ask
me, but 70% of divorces areinitiated by women.
(03:39):
The belief is that men areusually the ones to end their
marriages, and it kind of mademe want to explore just a little
bit deeper.
So here's the thing.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
I don't think that I'm shocked by that.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Really.
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Because I would feel like, well, if they were stable
in their marriage.
They were stable in theirmarriage.
Most men cheat on their wives Ishouldn't say most men when it
comes to divorce you betterwatch yourself woman.
When it comes to divorce.
(04:16):
Most women want the divorcebecause their spouse cheated on
them.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
I could see that being a reason.
Yes, I could see that being areason, but is this statistic
coming from just marriages thatare men and women, or is this
stat a everyone that's married?
Or are there lesbians, morelesbians leaving?
Speaker 1 (04:40):
who?
Baby listen, I'm, I'm, I'm overhere on this and you just took
this sucker to a whole differentlevel.
I'm so sorry listen, I um, Ican't answer that question
because I don't know.
I'm gonna say typical men andwomen divorce, because that's
kind of where the direction ofthis goes because other people
that are not men and women thatare married they get.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
There is something flying around in here again and
it's driving me crazy it's our,it's our married af, it's our
married af mascot to be a fly onthe wall right, but it's common
for same-sex marriages now, sodo these statistics take in that
too?
Because I know lesbians thathave been married and they're
(05:22):
now divorced.
So if that's the case, thatnumber is going to go up,
especially if it just says womenare leaving their spouses.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
You're not wrong.
Let's just say for argument'ssake for this context, it's from
men and women.
Ok, because, yes, typically menhave been the ones to initiate
the divorce and men have, in thepast, were the ones who were
the serial cheaters and the oneswho are always cheating.
That has shifted.
Initiate the divorce, and menhave, in the past, were the ones
who were the serial cheatersand the ones who are always
cheating.
That has shifted over the years.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Why.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Because now more women are cheating than men, and
some of that is the old man'sfault for not treating their
wives the correct way, givingthem the attention and the love
and the respect and everythingthat they actually need.
So I want to ask you thisquestion have you ever had the
(06:09):
thought to leave, leave Me.
While married.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Yes, I mean, you've pissed me off a few times, but
See, just to give you a safespace on that.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I fully believe you should have left me early on and
kind of shocked that you'restill here in some ways.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Prior to children.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Yep.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
We both should have left each other.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Totally agree.
I should have left you plentyof times.
And dadgum, you should haveleft me plenty of times.
And dad come, you should haveleft me plenty of times.
But only through the grace ofgod.
Are we still actually?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
here, even when we didn't know.
It was the grace of god, ohyeah, we didn't believe it at
all.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
We just, I guess, figured it's probably just our
own stupidity yeah easy to sayand I believe that most married
couples could probably at somepoint and say yeah, there was a
moment that I was kind of maybeclose at some point in time, but
because of grace I didn't,which is great, because we all
need a lot of grace a lot of thetime.
(07:13):
But currently women 70 percentare initiating the divorces.
So why is that I got?
Speaker 2 (07:25):
some reasons.
You have reasons.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
Oh, I have some reasons as to why this is
happening.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Top three reasons that we see, please do not tell
me One of the main reasons isbecause they want to have a
divorce party, because you knowthat's a thing.
Now, right, I know that's athing that is not on here.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Oh, thank God.
Okay, you can breathe, you canbreathe just a little bit.
Have a divorce party, becauseyou know that's a thing.
Now, right, I know that's athing.
Um, that is not on here oh,thank god okay, you can breathe.
You can breathe just a littlebit.
That is not on here.
Number one reason as to why isemotional disconnection yikes
emotional disconnection says.
Over time, some women feel agrowing emotional distance from
their partner.
This detachment can stem from alack of meaningful
(08:05):
communication or sharedexperience, shared experiences
leading to feelings of isolation.
This one, I totally see this.
This is a basic need for womenis to have that type of
connection and, unfortunatelyfor men, we're too dense and too
(08:26):
dumb sometimes to believe andsee that.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yes, but you also have to have communication to
know that it's happening.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Totally.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
So this is a BS excuse.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Why do you think that ?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
it's selfish.
It's as much his fault as it isyours, because how many times
were there open lines ofcommunication to tell him that
you felt that way, truly,honestly, tell him.
Not while he's asleep and can'thear the words coming out of
(09:12):
your mouth, not during a gamethat he's watching on TV and
there's probably been timeswhere women have said that and
they've said that, knowing he'snot going to pay any attention
to her because one she doesn'tcare about the things that he
cares about to watch with him.
And you probably told him inthe moments where there was a
(09:36):
big something and somethinghappened.
He's like, ah, and the responsewas not to you, it was to the
TV, because the 18-year-olddropped the ball and you took it
as he was talking to you.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
That's a key point.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Now I'm also the type of person that's not going to
believe everything that you tellme, like if I were a therapist
which we're marriage counselorpeople, right, if I'm just have.
If there is only one of thecouple husband or wife it
doesn't matter.
(10:16):
If only one of them showed upand they poured their heart out
to us about how they are treated.
And then they come back anothertime and spouses with the one
that spilled out their heart.
They completely changed theirtone, the things that are said,
(10:39):
because that's just how theyfelt when their husband or wife
wasn't around and they felt okayto say that in that safe space
you should have a safer spacewith your spouse than you would
any kind of marriage counselor,therapist anybody Friend family
member, anybody, anybody.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I totally agree.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Because I believe, just because you told me that
story, that your whole story isaccurate.
There's your story, there's hisstory, and then there's the
truth.
Speaker 1 (11:13):
Yes, and that's so important, especially when
you're talking to a couple, orcounseling a couple is when
there's stuff going on.
All right, you, wife, you needto get it all out on the table.
Husband, keep your mouth shut,don't say a word.
Wife, get out of here.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
And we've had to do that before where, uh-uh, this
is not your time, Like ps lifeand we've had to do that before
we're?
Uh, this is not your time Likestop talking.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
It is her turn.
Everything laid all out.
Let's hear every, every littlething that has gone on,
everything you've seen,experience, felt valid, or all
of it out on the table.
Okay, great.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
Emotions are real and people really feel what they
feel.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
But that doesn't mean this person sitting next to you
is the reason you feel that way.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
No, and a lot of the times not.
So it's wife.
You get everything out.
Possibly get it all out rightnow in the open.
Let's lay it on the table.
All right, you're done.
Okay, wife, no speaking Husbandgo Lay everything out on the
table, all of your feelings, allof the emotions, all the
instances, everything thathappened.
Let's open up the table.
(12:20):
Let's lay everything out.
Okay, you're both done.
All right, now let's begin topick up, piece by piece, and
begin to put this back together,and that's all you're able
going to do.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
So I don't't.
This is a stupid excuse don'tlove this excuse, huh.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Emotional disconnection, while real, I
think, easily preventable andwe'll get to that.
Second reason is a lack ofsupport.
Many women shoulder adisproportionate amount of
emotional labor andrelationships.
When their efforts gounrecognized or unreciprocated,
it can lead to burnout andresentment.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Your thoughts I have never heard more selfish words
than that right there.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Wow, true feeling True, you True feeling True you
feel this way.
Your feelings are valid, thatyou feel that way.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
But I've been trying to take him to, we've been
trying to do like marriagecounseling, but he just won't go
with me.
So what am I supposed to do?
Just be in misery for the restof my life?
Yeah, you're going to bemiserable for the rest of your
life, no matter what spouse youhave, because that alone is.
(13:41):
Those words are what I hear allthe time.
I, I, me, I, I, we before me.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
We've talked about it before I, I, we before me,
we've talked about it beforeAlways, we before me, now again,
while the emotions are validand they are real and this is
how you feel and there arereasons for that, they have to
be taken into consideration, butfeelings are the worst decision
makers.
That we have Period, that wehave period.
Speaker 2 (14:10):
And I guarantee you, because these people are so
selfish, they're only talking topeople that are going to agree
with them.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
And not going to say shut up.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Beep Listen.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
You are doing this, you are acting this way, you are
being like this.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
They don't want to hear the truth.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
We typically don't want to surround ourselves with
people who are going tochallenge us and call us out on
our BS, because we all have alot of it.
We need people who are going tocall us out and say, well, I
see your point, but that's notthe truth.
Here's truth and this is whatyou need to see.
We like to surround ourselveswith people who are going to
validate our feelings andvalidate us, and that's not not
(14:55):
the way it needs to happen.
So, emotional disconnection,lack of support.
The third reason it's theirpersonal growth.
As individuals evolve, theirneeds and aspirations may change
.
If a partner is unsupportiveand dismissive of these changes,
it creates a rift that feelsinsurmountable.
So, not acknowledging andjumping on board with personal
(15:19):
growth?
Now I'll say something beforeyou dive in.
I'm all for personal growth.
We all should grow personallyin every way possible.
We want to be able to grow andmove forward.
Totally on board with that.
But we before me, our growthtogether, is far more important
(15:44):
than any any desire that I havethat.
The old hated scripture inEphesians women submit to your
husbands most hated, probablythe most hated scripture in
Ephesians women submit to yourhusbands most hated, probably
the most hated words inscripture.
But husbands love your wives,women.
They're going to submit to yourhusband's leadership.
Now, husbands, you have to be aman worth submitting to meaning
(16:07):
.
I'm giving up all my desiresfor my wife.
What she wants comes above myown wants and needs.
But this my own wants and needs, but this my own personal
growth.
I want this, I need this.
I aspire to be this.
I want to succeed here.
I want to achieve this and ifyou're not on board with me
(16:27):
achieving that, done Thoughts,done.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Thoughts.
I could not imagine living lifethat way, even in our BC life,
before Christ life.
Let me give you an example Backin 2011, you and I have been
(17:01):
married what Three years.
Three years, maybe Three yearsOkay.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Before kids.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
This was before kids.
That year, the same month I waspreparing to well, at the time
we were both preparing to moveback to Tampa because I was
(17:26):
going to work for WWE.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
WWE contract on the table ready to go and we were
preparing for that, and that itwas personal growth.
You talk about personal growthand that was where I wanted to
be.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
That was the pinnacle of all of my career.
That's where I wanted to be.
That was a goal.
I have hit just about everysingle goal.
Okay, let's be honest, I havehit every goal that I have set
myself up for.
The contract there was.
I knew I was going to WWE andthat was exactly where I wanted
(18:01):
my career to go Done.
We were moving.
You knew that was my dream,trying to get transferred from
the position you had with workwhen we were in Birmingham back
to Tampa.
So you would at least have ajob Knowing we were going to
(18:22):
move there and I would be gone48 out of the 52 weeks of the
year, not going to see eachother.
I'm going to be gone who knowswhere.
I would be traveling all overthe world.
But you were there becausethat's exactly what I wanted to
do and it might have only lasteda year, but that it got there.
The same freaking week, I getthis exact hey, this is
(18:48):
happening.
Hey, this is happening.
I'm going to work for WWE.
I just need to go to St Louis Iguess it was something like
that in a couple weeks to signmy contract.
Blah, blah, blah.
The same week, your father askedyou to come work for the
(19:10):
company that has been in thefamily for now three generations
.
This was your dream.
Your dream was to own thefamily business one day.
You never really saw ithappening, but the same week
that I get my dream job, you areoffered yours.
(19:34):
And you didn't even want totell me because we were in
California, family reunion typeof deal, 4th of July week, so
many emotions, we're just havinga blast.
But you didn't tell me.
But I overheard it and I saidum, do we need to talk?
(20:00):
Is there something you need totell me?
And you didn't want to.
And I said I already know andyou're taking it.
You said what do you mean?
I said because I'm callingright now to tell them I am not
going to St Louis or wherever Iwas going.
I'm not taking this contract,you are going to work for your
(20:22):
family.
You were likeabso-freaking-lutely not.
You were doing what you wantedto.
Because that's what you wanted,I said no.
Well, back then it was FCcw,florida championship wrestling
now and with the usos, right,that's how long I was in the
business.
So fcw, which was a 25 000contract or inherit, a
(20:52):
multi-million dollar companythat could go for the rest of
our lives, compared to a careerthat could go for possibly a
year, just depending on injuries.
Cuts get made all the time overhere.
I said I'm done and you werecompletely against it and I said
(21:16):
, absolutely not.
We are taking the betterdecision, and that was to take
the business.
It wasn't going to be ours foranother 10 plus years, but it
didn't matter, because thatlong-term outlasted what I
wanted to.
At that moment, I gave up what Iconsidered a dream for me, for
(21:37):
yours, because that was thesmart thing to do.
Did I make it?
Yeah, essentially I did.
I got to where I wanted to be.
Did I become this famouswrestler?
No, do I care?
No, did I work for WWE a littlebit?
Yeah, I did, but we still havea business.
(21:59):
Am I wrestling anymore?
Nope, in the process, you'reprobably selfish enough to think
well, I'm going after what Iwant.
This was even to be seen.
We were not even thinking well,let's pray about it.
What would God want us to do inthese situations?
(22:21):
It was a hard.
No, I am not wrestling anymore.
You are going to work for yourfamily.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
I'm going to figure something else out.
It was, it was totally that.
And the crazy thing is is weare both.
It was both a no.
We're going after your dream.
Never was it once a no.
This is what I really want.
I didn't say that to you,didn't say that to me.
It was a no.
And you don't want to say helpforce the decision, but you help
(22:52):
bring the decision intoperspective.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
And be like look, this is the rest of our lives.
Let me bring in a more recentone 2021.
We outgrew our small group atour house.
I said Matthew, it is time towrite a book.
And you finally went okay, fine, I'm going to write a book.
(23:22):
Did you write a book?
It is 2025.
No, let me tell you, you didnot write a book.
You came home with podcastequipment and said baby,
starting a podcast?
I said we nothing.
I told you to write a book andyou said well, we're gonna do
this instead.
I have been hardcore againstthis podcast since day one yet
(23:49):
here we are.
Not once have I said no, I'm notdoing that podcast.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Nope, because you've seen the fruit of that labor and
the impact that it does have.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Obviously, this is what God wanted us to do.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
For now, yeah, and we'll continue to do it until he
says stop.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
It could happen tomorrow, it could happen 10
years from now, I don't know,but we're going to trust him.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yes, Because statistics don't know but we're
going to trust them.
Yes, because statistics don'tlie.
No, no, they don't.
We might not be completelygoing hardcore on scripture on
every single podcast, but we areputting biblical content into
every single podcast, tellingpeople how a marriage should be,
(24:33):
what it should look like, andthe bible is one thousand
percent our manual and nobodyseems to care to open it.
Obviously, if these women whowere very interested in getting
a divorce would know, this isnot how I'm supposed to act.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
No, it is.
The Bible is the instructionmanual.
You want to know anythingthat's going on in your life?
The answer is there.
You just got to look for it.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
Sex, drugs and rock and roll.
That is the Bible.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
It is, every little bit of it is in there and if you
just look for it you will findit.
And I promise, we've livedthrough the experience, we've
done it our way, our way, we'vedone it God's way, and, oh my
goodness.
Speaker 2 (25:18):
I will never go back to my way.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Never go back to my way, because we always fell
short, felt good, maybe for ashort amount of time, but we
always fell short.
So those top three reasonswomen are divorcing.
So signs this could behappening really quickly and
ways to prevent this.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
Are these options for men to go?
Okay, this is happening and mywife's about to leave me because
she's selfish.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
I think this is both.
Women especially should be ableto recognize this.
But men, if you're in tune atall, you should be able to
recognize this too, to be ableto hopefully open up that door.
Obviously, of course,withdrawal from communication,
withdrawal, noticeable declinein meaningful conversations and
emotional sharing, and I thinkthat's the key to it, the
(26:03):
meaningful part of conversations, where it gets back to the just
let's lay out the list of thethings that need to be done,
great, let's move on, and that'sit.
Second reason avoidance ofphysical intimacy.
If you're avoiding it, there'sdifferent drives, obviously, but
(26:25):
if you're just outrightavoiding it, yeah, this is a
sign that you're headed downthis road, at least I.
I totally agree with that.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Oh, I do too, headed down this road At least, I
totally agree with that.
Oh, I do too, because if you'renot one, if you're not having
sex, you're going to go have sexwith somebody else and get it
for somebody else somewhere else.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Does not make it right.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
Does not make it right.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
It is the wrong move, but it is the reality of the
situation.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
Right, okay, so couples that are not having sex
in their marriage are notemotionally in tune with each
other?
Because I don't care what yousay, there's emotions and sex.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Yeah, I mean, there's always been this mindset that
you can separate emotions andsex and it's just casual and
it's just to feel good.
It wasn't created that way.
God created it for a certainspecific way.
It wasn't created that way andwe can lie to ourselves as much
as we want to and say thatthere's no emotional connection,
(27:28):
but that's not how it wascreated.
And it exists and it's there.
Whether we want to see it ornot, or believe it or not, or
even initially feel it or not,it's there.
It's always there, and when youdo have sex with someone, you
are tied to them forever.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
I mean 50 cents has it completely wrong.
He's only into having sex.
He needed to make it love.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
Well, there you go.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
I know you have no idea what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (27:56):
No, no, I don't At all.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
It's a very popular song from our college years.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Well, that explains it all.
Okay, but yes, avoid.
Speaker 2 (28:06):
You can find him in the club.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
I know that one.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
That's the song, baby .
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I also know that he threw out one of the worst first
pitches ever in the history offirst pitches, that's ever
existed.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
We just totally dissed on 50 Cent.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
I did 50 Cent actually.
He's incredible.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
He's now a businessman, but that was when
he first came out.
He just needed to get his nameout there and talk about stuff.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
He's an incredible intelligent guy, very great
businessman, has done someamazing things.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
I mean yeah, things um.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
I mean vitamin, water , listen if 50 cent if this gets
to 50 cent, listen come see me,we can work on the arm and we
can redeem that I would actually.
I would love nothing more tohave a sit down with him,
because the guy's got storiesbut man the guy has got so much
wisdom that been through a lotpeople should probably listen to
(28:54):
, but the song is wrong.
The song is wrong, but you knowit is what it is.
There you avoid physicalintimacy.
The third one I think this ishuge Increased time apart where
you find yourself where you'drather spend time alone or doing
things with other people andnot sharing activities and
experiences together.
More interested in hanging outwith friends, going out with the
(29:16):
girls, have a brunch, girlsnight, Then time with your
spouse I mean, men are nodifferent You'd rather go out
with the boys and pound beersand watch the game.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I don't want the wife to nag me.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Yeah, I just I've said it millions of times, but I
would rather go do something Idon't enjoy with you than go do
something that I do enjoywithout you.
I just do.
I love spending time with you,so those are signs that could be
happening.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
This is also a reason why we do not have a chair.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
No.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Or you have a chair.
No.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Don't have a lazy boy .
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Or your seat, that's just for you.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
And even on the couches.
We don't have a specific spoton the couch.
It changes almost daily.
Wherever one is, the other isdoing our best to get next to
them, unless our kids of course,oh, they just jack all the
spots.
They do, they do.
So those are three ways thiscould be happening real quickly,
three ways to prevent this.
Hey, shock, shocker prioritizeopen communication?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
no way.
This is just.
This is the topic of everything.
Keep being number one.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Imagine that I don't know, but anyone who listens,
especially um, consistently,you're noticing this constant
theme and everything that wetalk about Open communication,
open communication.
Maybe this is ringing a bell.
Should I look at how wecommunicate?
Speaker 2 (30:40):
Ding, ding ding.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
Maybe so, maybe not, but prioritize open
communication, shareresponsibilities Equitably,
dividing household and emotionallabor to prevent resentment Now
I know we talked about thisearlier and dividing it up.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
You look like you got a sneeze coming.
I got this cough Clear thatthroat.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
Oh, my goodness gracious.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
It looks like you were struggling.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
I was struggling, trying not to cough directly
into the microphone.
Sorry for people who arelistening.
That's going to be tough to tryand edit out, but we'll get
there.
But back to it Divide upresponsibilities.
Now I don't love the idea todivide up.
We'll do them together.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Yes, Now there are certain things that I won't do
and you just don't do.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
It's true.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Are you fighting that sneeze Really?
Speaker 1 (31:35):
That's not a sneeze, it is a cough.
I just this is too muchspeaking today.
Just too much speaking today.
Tickle in my throat, but dothis stuff together.
You know I say all the time andno one ever wants to join me on
this.
I don't understand why I funbut nobody in my house likes to
party because we have clothesfolding parties and I'm the only
(31:56):
bloody person who shows up tothe party yes, you are the kids
avoid me.
You avoid me.
We walk out of the room,everything.
Actually.
You'll come lay on the bed andI'll watch you, watch me fall
close but I'm there with you andthat's really all.
And I'm Looking for mybeautiful, but do things
together.
My grandmother always said manyhands make light work, but do
(32:18):
things together.
And the third one support thepersonal growth, because, again,
it's important that we all grow, but grow together, be more
focused, it's not about you.
Be more focused to grow together.
So it's important Recognizethese signs.
(32:40):
It's real, it exists.
Stats don't lie, this is real,so recognize them.
Go through the steps, ways toprevent this.
Now.
These are reasons why women areleaving marriages and men might
be thinking ha see, look atthat.
Don't think that you're not onthe hook.
Tune in next time, for reasonsmen are leaving marriages as
(33:06):
well.
That might make my blood boiltoo it might make your blood
boil just a little bit.
So it goes both ways and ourgoal is just marriage is the
greatest thing in the world.
It is the absolute greatestgift, and I want people to be
able to experience it the waythat I have.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
I want that too, because I get so irritated when
I hear marriage is so much work.
This is the easiest thing inthe world for us.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
It's how people will say find something that you love
and you'll never work a day inyour life.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Well, I ain't ever going to work.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
That is this.
I don't see it as work and Iunderstand it takes work, but I
hate to use the term work.
I know you hate this word, butI like to use the word
intentionality.
You have to be in tune and youhave to make the effort, because
you can't just not make effortat all.
But this is the greatest thingthat we will ever do and it is
(34:09):
so much fun.
Our best friend in the world Iget to spend time.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I get to have a sleepover with my best friend
every single night.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
Yes, I get to have a sleepover every single night.
I get to share any funny insidejoke with my favorite person in
the world.
I get to laugh more than Icould ever even imagine.
I get to just be close to theperson who makes me better in
life.
What is not to love about that?
Speaker 2 (34:36):
And what kind of work is that?
Speaker 1 (34:38):
It's not.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
Maybe work is overused?
Yes, you have to put in alittle effort, but if effort is
work, you've never really hadsomething you loved.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Find something you'll love and you'll never work a
day in your life.
Have that same attitude towardsyour marriage.
I tell Cash a lot of the times,especially with sports and with
baseball always control whatyou can control.
But the two things you cancontrol more than anything else
is effort and attitude.
Same is true in our marriage.
We can't control a whole lot,but we can control our effort
(35:14):
and our attitude.
And if we control those well,put everything into those two
your marriage will hit heightsthat you never even thought were
possible.
So reasons women are divorcingmen and leaving their marriages.
Man, you're on the hook for thenext episode after this one
comes out.
Listen, if this resonates withyou at all.
We'd love to hear from you.
(35:35):
We'd love to hear these storiesMaybe this was you and you were
able to come out of it thosesuccess stories we want to hear
more than anything else, becausethat is what helps drive
community and for people to beable to have marriages and
relationships the way Godintended them to be.
And that's what this is allabout being able to have a
community of people together tohelp lift each other up and walk
(35:56):
it out together.
This is the most fun thing inthe world that we get to do, and
I want people to be able toexperience it.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
I agree.
Speaker 1 (36:03):
Final thoughts.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
I love you so much.
Time to go.
Okay, god, we love you.
We are so thankful foreverything that you do.
We're thankful for our marriage.
I'm thankful for this woman youbrought into my life.
God, I pray everyone is able toexperience that it's all
ordained by you, it's allcreated by you and I pray people
are able to see that and justwalk it out the way in which you
created that.
(36:25):
They'll look to you for answers, they'll look to you for
guidance, for strengths, forwisdom.
Through it all that they willstrictly look to you and if we
can be an avenue and a conduitfor people to do that, thank you
, just thank you, for allowingus to do that.
God, we love you.
We look to you in Jesus name,amen.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Amen Play ball.
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