December 3, 2024 • 34 mins
We share an intriguing story about a couple who claim that a threesome saved their marriage, sparking a conversation on whether such unconventional solutions offer genuine, long-term benefits or merely temporary relief. Join us as we emphasize the importance of genuine connection and communication, urging couples to strengthen their bonds by considering the lasting implications of their choices.
Social media has a profound impact on relationships, and we explore its complexities in our discussion. From emotional turmoil caused by liking a former flame's photos to the broader ramifications of online behavior, we highlight the delicate balance needed in the digital age. Our conversation brings to light the necessity of mindfulness when sharing personal images and interactions, especially concerning family and children. We delve into the nuanced challenges of maintaining healthy boundaries online, encouraging listeners to reflect on the intentions and perceptions surrounding their digital footprints.
The power of affection and communication takes center stage as we celebrate their significance in marriage. Through personal anecdotes, we illustrate how prioritizing your spouse can set a positive example for children, helping them understand healthy relationship dynamics. Romantic gestures, expressions of admiration, and gratitude play crucial roles in strengthening marital bonds and inspiring future generations. Our heartfelt dialogue concludes with a prayer of thanks, hoping to inspire listeners to nurture open dialogues and deeper connections within their own relationships.
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
here's a question for you is marriage overrated?
Why aren't?
People getting married anymorea new pew research poll found
that two and five young adultsthink marriage is an outdated
tradition.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Marriage rates are at their lowest right now.
Is marriage really even worthit?
More than half of marriages endin divorce.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
If you get married, you have to be stuck with this
person for the rest of your life, right?
That's why you get married, sothat's why it's declining.
Why would you get married ifyou don't?
If you want to have just onepartner when you can have
multiple Marriage is stupid.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Welcome to the Married AF podcast, the
self-proclaimed greatestmarriage relationship podcast in
the world.
We're your hosts, Matthew andMonica Powers.
Baby, I love you.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
I am so proud of you.
I love you too.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
You know how hard it was not to ask you how you're
doing, even though I know howwell, you're doing.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Or we're back.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
We're not.
I didn't say any of those dumbthings.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
That's why I love you .
I love you.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I love you so much so I'm going to hit you off with a
banger, really really fast,right out of the gate.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
It's going to be a quickie.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
It gets in that direction real quick.
So this was something that Ifound on the interwebs.
Okay, and we've talked aboutthis before and this revolves
around intimacy, but the titleof this was A Threesome Saved Us
.
Now, just before you comment,let me kind of get through and
they're gonna.
Let you formulate your thoughts.
But can a threesome actuallysave a marriage?
Speaker 1 (01:32):
literally stress thing on my watch went off.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Are you kidding me?
No, so a threesome saved us.
So here's the gist of the story, real quick, okay.
So, husband and wife, they aremarried.
Things in the bedroom wereawesome, honeymoon phase as it
typically is.
You know, they're getting afterit three, four, five, six,
seven times a week, however many.
But the sex life is good and,as we typically hear, after time
it dwindles down.
(01:56):
It's not great.
It doesn't happen as often.
Men get frustrated, women getfrustrated, and there's this,
this, this tension.
So, as this man says andthere's a huge key to this story
that I'll tell you now saidthis happened right after we
left the church that we were in.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Imagine that.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Shocker right.
So he had always had thisfeeling that his wife was into
other women, and they had talkedabout it before.
And so there was this woman inwhich wife worked with that they
both found very attractive, andone night, one thing led to
another.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
I'm sure it did.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
And his wife was actually passed out.
But he woke his wife up becausehe knew how much she would be
into this to have a threesome.
And he does.
And he says they have thisthreesome and it's amazing and
incredible.
And he does.
And he says they have thisthreesome and it's amazing and
incredible and they've kept intouch since and they have done
it a few times since.
But he said where the bedroomwas dead and they weren't having
(02:55):
sex at all and the intimacy waslacking severely to make them
question their marriage.
He said the threesome reignitedeverything where they're more
passionate about each other.
They're having sex multipletimes a week.
The sex is really great.
And he said a threesome hassaved our marriage.
Now I'm going to give you mythoughts on it first before you
(03:18):
dive into your thoughts on it.
Okay, because here's my thoughtthis is going to be a rare case
where perhaps a threesome savedtheir marriage, and I say that
in quotation marks.
It reignited the bedroom, whichwe want to see.
You know we want people havingsex.
It's good for you, it makes youhappy, it's great, and this
(03:39):
seemed to do that and I thinkthat's awesome and if this is
what saved that part, bravo.
In a sense, however, thethreesome may have saved this
marriage for this short littleamount of time, but it's only a
matter of time before thisunravels into something bad.
So, yes, can a threesome saveyou?
(04:01):
It's like putting a Band-Aid ona bullet hole.
It can save very quickly.
Everything's reunited, they'repassionate.
They're just aggressive towardseach other.
They're wanting to have a lotof sex with each other, and that
is amazing, and he credits thethreesome for that happening.
And it probably did.
But as time goes by, things aregoing to dwindle.
(04:27):
They're going to continue toseek after this girl, another
girl, another guy, who knowswhat, and eventually feelings
will catch, because I guaranteethere are already.
Some are going to catch forsomeone else in a different
situation, and things are goingto unravel.
Catch for someone else in adifferent situation, and things
(04:47):
are going to unravel.
So my thought is that, yeah,sure, the threesome saved your
sex life for now, but in thelong run, this is going to be
the thing that dooms yourmarriage forever.
Unless you come together, yourealize what a huge mistake this
was, that this was not what isbest for you.
You completely repent from this, turn away from this and move
in the direction you weresupposed to you, you completely
repent from this, turn away fromthis and move in the direction
you were supposed to.
Can you be saved from thisAbsolutely?
(05:09):
Can this just be something ofthe past that no longer affects
your future?
Absolutely.
But you both together have tocompletely turn away from that
altogether.
But I believe if this continues,this will be the one thing that
completely destroys theirrelationship forever.
So can a threesome save you?
Temporarily, maybe in a rarecircumstance.
(05:30):
Long-term, absolutely not.
So I kind of digested all that.
I know you've got thoughts.
I can see your beautiful facetelling me like I have a lot of
things to think about this, alot of things to say about this.
So before you attack anddestroy, I really want to kind
of hear your thought process andwhat you believe about this
situation.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Number one issue they left the church.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
That's the number one .
We've seen this time and timeand time again.
I also think a non-believerlistening would be like well,
their sex life is boring becausethey're in church, wrong for
the person who is thinking that,and there are definitely people
(06:14):
who are listening who arethinking well, of course, if
you're in church and you believein Jesus and all of that stuff,
yeah, your sex life is going tobe awful.
Oh, brother, I got something totell you.
If anything, it's onlyexponentially better.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Because we're working towards the same thing.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
And when you do that, you are thinking about each
other over yourselves.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
But let's get out of a biblical mindset absolutely,
and I tried to kind of come atthat with this mindset too.
So, outside of a biblicalmindset, outside of church
mindset, let me have it if thesex life died, it's.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
It takes two.
I feel like if you are in arelationship and you both aren't
seeking each other, then youare seeking something else
Everyone has needs.
Obviously, this guy waspromoting the threesome, did he
(07:25):
might want it, maybe not, buthis wife was asleep and he woke
her up because he knew she wouldwant this because they were
talking about it.
Okay, did his wife just need tosee that somebody else thought
he was attractive?
(07:45):
Could be, and would have sexwith him, because jealousy can
make someone absolutely crazy.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Well, and you've seen the, we've seen it in real life
where maybe this guy is reallyinto this girl and she will not
give him the time of day, yeahAt all.
But the moment some other girlgives him attention, oh, now she
is all about this guy and shewants this guy now.
So could that be the case?
Sure?
Speaker 1 (08:16):
that seems because they they have an incredible sex
life now so and they've had sexwith this other girl.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Several times since.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Okay.
Does it say how old thesepeople are if they have kids?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
No.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
How long had they been married before all this
happened?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
They'd been married about five years.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Oh my goodness, they didn't even get to the seven
year itch.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Not even the seven year itch I couldn't imagine
bringing someone else into arelationship that we have
absolutely not especially now?
Speaker 1 (08:56):
oh no, kids are no kids.
No, no way in hell am I evergoing to share you Over my dead
body?
Will another woman see younaked?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Well, and I feel the exact same way, like that's a
non-negotiable.
And when you get back to theBible, I mean it speaks to that,
you know.
It totally mentions that, likeit's you and I together as one
forever.
And if you have the need forsomething else, something
different, some spice, there areways to be able to get that
(09:30):
need filled with your spouse.
We've talked about exploringyourselves.
We've talked about the menu.
We've talked about toys.
We've talked about dressing up.
All that stuff, I believe, isperfectly fine as long as it is
not replacing your spouse.
The moment it replaces yourspouse, then you've got some
serious, serious problems.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Or puts them in harm.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Absolutely no harm, no replacing your spouse.
Otherwise we say hey, be anopen book, Be open-minded.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Tell them no, I don't like that, that does not go
there.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yeah, hey, try anything, but absolutely you
discuss it after Like, hey, thatworks, we're going to do that
again.
No, that's never going tohappen again and that
conversation needs to be had.
But can a threesome save yourmarriage?
No, it puts a Band-Aid on it.
Perhaps In most cases itdoesn't.
We've seen plenty of caseswhere, hey, we think a threesome
(10:24):
is going to work out, that'sgoing to be better for us.
No, no, no, no, no, no Doesn'twork at all, usually from the
get go.
These are the rare cases wherehey ignited something.
But in the long term this isgoing to be a bad, bad, bad news
.
Polyamorous.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Isn't that?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
what it is.
Yes, benjamin talked about that.
I had a song about it.
Their polyamorous friend gotthem in trouble again, and
that's that is the truth, and itjust goes to a lack of intimacy
that you have with your spouse.
And intimacy is important andit's not all about the sex.
That's part of it, but it's notall about it.
There are other ways to be veryintimate with your spouse that
(11:01):
lead to a great sex life, butthat is not the end-all be-all.
When you think about beingintimate with your spouse, it's
not just to have sex.
There's so many other ways todo that that lead you to the
path of having sex, so you don'thave to go out and get some
side piece to try and have theseneeds met.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
What did you call it last time?
Dong on deck.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
The DOD, the dong on deck there's no need for a DOD.
No need for that DOD, that dongon deck.
Plenty of women have them.
It's not a good idea, Nope.
So next thing that I want totalk to you about because this
has come up and I saw this I waslike, well, we can talk about
this because we've seen thisalso.
My husband is liking othergirls' pictures.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Wait on social media.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yes, wait, on social media.
Yes, so this goes to the socialmedia side of things, which is,
again, social media is thedevil, as bobby boucher's mom
would say.
Social media ruins things, butthe history is says so.
This girl has a history with myhusband.
We've been together 17 years,however that's us however, in
(12:03):
our earlier years, you didn'twrite this, did you no?
I'm joking you, let me find youlike it's however, in our
earlier years there was a lot ofdrama with their relationship.
He met her after me.
He was with her a lot and sworenothing ever happened, even to
this day.
But I've had acquaintancesacquaintances tell me
differently.
(12:23):
They claim they had allwitnessed some not so husbandly
behavior between them years ago.
He claimed his friends werejust trying to sleep with me and
that's why they told me therecould be some truth to that.
But I don't believe it one bit.
I'm not stupid, and my intuitionwas telling me that I am
correct.
Anyways, last night she came upon my Facebook page Good old
Facebook, ruling relationshipssince 2005.
(12:46):
As a person I would know.
So I checked her out anddiscovered he had loved a
profile picture she posted justa few hours earlier.
He never likes, let alone loves, my pictures.
As a matter of fact, he laughsat them because he thinks he's
funny.
He also never loves pictures ofhis own children.
I've talked to him about it.
(13:07):
He said it was an accident.
This is the first time I'vecaught him liking other girls'
pictures.
He always this is not the firsttime.
He always says it's an accident, my finger slipped and then
again it happens.
He proceeded to make me feellike I was being overdramatic.
And well, she's my friend andblah blah, blah blah.
I'm not being dramatic.
I didn't yell, just explainthat this is the reason for my
(13:29):
low confidence and that itleaves me wondering how much she
actually likes me.
I'll obviously compare myselfto her, and it opens the door to
make me wonder about things.
Am I being dramatic?
Absolutely not.
But another case of what'shappening on social media
ruining a relationship.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I agree.
I don't think she's beingoverdramatic, as if I mean if
she's had a real sit down, opencommunication, conversation
about um this and his responseis this an accident and my
finger slipped guess what?
You can slip that finger backover there and unlike it that
(14:11):
you can't do so.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
there's definitely I mean, who knows what's going on,
but there's definitely ayearning from this guy to I want
her to notice me more, and I'mgoing to do that by liking her
pictures on social media.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
I have an issue with other men liking, I guess if
it's a, Okay, so if it's just afamily photo, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah, I agree.
I think that the context of thephoto matters, but I tend to
lean where you're going.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
If it's a just like the profile picture, it's a new
profile picture and it's justthem and they're kind of little
flirty, yes, little little.
I have a lot of friends that Iquestion the selfies that they
post of themselves.
There's way too much legsometimes.
(15:12):
There's way too much cleavage.
There's way too much ofsomething to make somebody else
wonder.
Yeah, and even if you're and ifyour post and picture to you is
absolutely innocent, it's notto the person that might be
liking it.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
No, you have to.
You have to put your mindsets,especially if you are married
and you have kids and you have afamily and you're not looking
because men are different andwe're dumb and our brains are
wired stupid and we're all onestep from stupid where we see
that and we get that.
We get that little butterflyfeeling like oh my, look at her,
(15:50):
look at them legs look at thatbooty look at them boobs and
mind starts to wonder.
So as a female, especiallyposting selfies, you kind of
have to be mindful of thatwhenever you're posting really
anything, because men will takethat out of control really
quickly and even in the caselike this, if that gets back to
(16:13):
the other spouse, that justcreates tension, unneeded
tension in the relationship,which realistically there's a
deeper rooted issue there as towhy that tension is there, but
still and he liked her picturejust hours after she had posted.
Correct.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I mean, yes, I think that might be a red flag.
But I also have an issue withother men that tend to like
pictures that are not of theirchildren, say, if their children
have social media.
It bothers me to no end that agrown man will like another
(16:57):
minor under the age of 18, theirprofiles or whatever they
posted.
That's a step away frompedophile.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
There is a, of course , there's context to all of it,
but I would always err on theside of caution, like if anyone,
if there could be any inklingat all, that's Ooh, this may not
look good to somebody.
Ooh, not going to happen, notgoing to do it, let's make sure
we don't look towards that.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Well, that's one of the reasons why I'm very
cautious to what I actually puton social media period.
I mean, some people go to theextent of putting stickers or
some kind of weird face overtheir child's face.
I understand all of that.
I understand all of that.
That's a reason why I willnever put Elkie's like the
(17:49):
pageant style pictures of her Ifwe're with her.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Different story.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Yes, like her first pageant was in kindergarten.
It was very innocent, it wasn'tall gaudy or anything, but she
won that one and we were justwhat did?
We just could not believe itshocked, and still shocked every
time she wins something orplaces and I've rarely put
(18:17):
anything out there on any ofthat, especially as she's gotten
older just because the world isa messed up place, yeah, and
there's a lot of creepers outthere and you want to celebrate
and those are typically the onesyou know and don't know about
it.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Yeah, and of course you want to celebrate yourself
and your children and yourfamily.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
And we do that together.
I don't have to put that onsocial media.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
All the time that's just me but well, like my, my
social media and it's.
It's definitely nothing to bragabout because it's pretty,
pretty boring.
But, uh, my pictures are all ofstuff, or us as the kids.
My profile picture has alwaysbeen and will always be a
picture of you and I.
It's never going to bedifferent than that whatsoever.
(19:02):
Yep, because you know we're,we're a team, me and my lady,
and that's the way it's going tobe.
Different than that whatsoever?
Yep, because you know we're ateam, me and my lady, and that's
the way it's going to be.
But this was just anotherinstance that we've seen this
happen in real life, wheresocial media, what happens on
social media, just it'smagnifying everything into such
a negative context anddrastically affects the marriage
(19:22):
and the relationship.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
We learned that pre-marriage with MySpace.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Oh, MySpace, that top eight baby.
I better be in your top eight,but there are times where maybe
we weren't in each other's topeight.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Oh God, I didn't want you near it.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
And we should have been in each other's top eight.
And boy, yeah, we learned thisin the MySpace MySpace days.
I'm going to take him out of mytop eight.
I'm going to show him all theseother guys.
Yeah, it happens.
It's not a good thing.
If you care about yourrelationship at all, it's
something to stay away from, yep.
So this one definitely relatesto us.
(19:56):
How do your kids respond to yourkissing and affection around
the house For married coupleswith kids?
How do your kids respond whenthey see you and your spouse
kissing or hugging or any otheraffection around the house or in
other places in your everydaylives?
Our kids are older.
Youngest kid we have is we havethree is in middle school.
So their average responses tendto be attempts at humor or
sarcasm.
(20:16):
A few examples are they walk upand jokingly try to separate us
.
I can hear you guys kissingit's gross from around the
corner.
Do you have to do that?
Okay, okay, seriously enough.
Already they try to worm theirway between us on the couch.
It's all very funny to us andwas just wondering what other
couples experiences are.
(20:37):
We've been married 23 years andwe're both 45.
I saw us with this becausewe're we're very affectionate
with each other.
We're not going to hold backtouching each other, kissing
each other.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
We get each other first when we get home.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Absolutely.
And what I think that does isit is setting our kids up to
know that spouses first, kidsare after.
Like I will bypass the kids tocome to you first.
Now that can seem mean and I'msure there are people who will
hear that and be like what ajerk.
You mean you're going to pushyour kid to the side and go past
him to get to your wife first.
Every single chance that I getBecause it shows my wife is
(21:12):
first, she comes before you kidsdo, Because my hope is that
when they get married one daythey will have that same type of
relationship.
But I saw this because our kidsare completely different.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Opposites.
Elkie can't stand to see uscover her eyes, even anyone she
does not like it does not matterwhat it is, every single movie
or tv show that we watch andsomeone's about to kiss she
hates it she covers her eyes.
She's like is it done?
Speaker 2 (21:40):
but cash, on the other hand, and not so much
anymore cash, just neither herenor there.
He doesn't care if it's goingon or not, he's just going to
continue about his way.
But when he was younger, likehe'd shove our heads together
like you guys should kiss, but Ithink it's important for you he
would and elkie's the completeopposite, like no, no, no no but
I think it's incrediblyimportant for you to be
affectionate around your kidswherever you are, whether it's
(22:04):
home.
Now, you don't want to fill eachother up out in public or in
front of your children.
Do that when their heads areturned, give you a little feel
or something like that.
Absolutely, because you need tobe playful and flirty and have
fun as a husband and a wife, butyou need to kiss and hug and
I've said it many times ifyou're not slapping each's butts
.
You got.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
You got some things to work on you gotta give them a
little good game I mean, I was,I was cooking earlier today and
you just walked by and whamwhat expects, like, oh okay,
then there we go, but you haveto do this.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I think it's important that you do this and
I'm so thankful that we can dothis and our kids it's
normalized around our children.
I don't think enough couplecouples do this, but we need to
be super Well, mostly becausethey don't want to kiss their
spouse.
Well, there's part of that too,and I'm not talking just about a
little measly peck on the lipsand move on.
No, kiss your spouse.
(22:54):
I'm not saying you make outwith them and throw them on the
counter with the kids around,wait till they go to bed and do
that, but not with the kidsaround.
But you need to be affectionatewith one another.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Romantic kisses are okay.
When they can see that, that'sfine.
Yes, not just the tongue shoveddown each other's throats.
That might be weird, becausethen they're going to go to
school and think, well, mom, daddid that and they like each
other.
I'm going to do that to theperson I like.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah, now, there's a time and a place for that, but
definitely not all the time.
But this should be morenormalized than I think that it
is, and I just I thought it wasfunny, I also think it makes our
kids okay to give hugs andkisses to us.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
We are not the kissing on the lips kind of
people with our children.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
No, no, no, no.
My lips are reserved for youyes and they.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
We are cheek kissing people yes I mean, elkie even
has her own elkie kiss.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Yes, she does, yeah and I'll kiss kiss them on the
head and and that's.
That's about as far as it goes,but just yeah, they can show
affection and love and I thinkit's healthy for us to be able
to do that, and I hope thatother people who see this and
listen to this are experiencingthe same thing can do the same
thing.
I would love to know how doyour kids react to this?
(24:15):
Or do you shy away from it?
Because your kids are there?
And, if not, let's normalize alittle bit of this behavior,
because they need to see thelove that their mom and dad have
for each other and how closethey are, and to let them know
that, hey, when you get marriedone day, your spouse is number
one.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
They know that they are number three in our lives.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
They do, they do Jesus, spouse, kids, everyone
comes after that.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
And my hope is we are their number two.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Yeah, I hope so.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
I hope so, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
I think so most of the time.
All right, Last one before wewrap up.
All right, Question for youbaby, and maybe I'll answer
before you.
Uh, so you can think on it.
But what are things that yourspouse has done or does that
keeps you falling in love withthem?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Whoa.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
What are things that I do that just keeps you?
Speaker 1 (25:10):
falling in love with me all over again.
I don't even know where tostart on that one.
All right, Well.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
I'll let you think on it and I'll let you know kind
of what you do.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Okay, because I have things.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Okay, great.
Well, I can't wait to hear them, but I'll tell you mine to
start with.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Okay, tell me.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
One of them, and it's not necessarily in this setting
, but just to be able to sitdown and talk to you, and you
are interested in what I have tosay.
You will look at me in the eyes, you will ask questions, you
are engaged, you are interested,and I just think to myself how
lucky am I that I have someoneso amazing, so beautiful, so
(25:43):
just perfect for me, that wantsto be a part of my life and to
share in her life with mine, andthat is something that makes me
fall head over heels in lovewith you every single day.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
I had a conversation about how I felt like I had no
reason to be a part of aconversation or give a certain
amount of acknowledgement to it,because I had no idea what
anything was saying.
But that comes from you.
I'm hanging on every word.
It doesn't matter if I knownothing about the situation.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
It's definitely something that makes me fall in
love with you every single day.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Noted.
Okay, noted Good, so glad.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
The other things are just how you will curl up to me
on the couch, how you'll justlay your head on my shoulder,
how you'll just prop your feetin my lap Without asking,
without even asking, just thoselittle things are just like oh
yeah, she's mine.
This is amazing, this is, Iwould don't want to be anywhere
else.
And then you know, there's someother things that are not
(26:51):
necessarily pg rated.
Um, but we'll leave it there,baby.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I don't know that this is a pg it's probably pg
now, though.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I mean, you look at netflix now.
Pg, yeah, pg.
We We'll say PG-13.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
We did say dong.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Yes, this is not X-rated, maybe a little R, we'll
save that for ourselves.
But I mean just the way youlook in certain outfits, the way
you look when you're gettingready for bed.
Those little things are.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
You do stare at me a lot when I'm getting ready for
bed.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
I do, I really, I think you just blanked my
nightie.
I love what you write about, sothat's for me.
How about you?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
The way you completely manhandle things that
I think I can do and I can dothem well, but I don't have
enough time in a day to do allthe things that I'm supposed to.
And I get home and I seeeverything has already been done
(27:46):
and probably done better than Iwould have been able to do it,
without telling you, hey, canyou do this?
You got to do this, you got todo this, not having to delegate,
I just it blows my mind.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Well, there are times like when, when, when I'm
around, when we're together, Iwant you to be able to just kind
of shut it down for a littlebit and when you get home, to
just be able to shut it down andnot have to think and do and
worry and just know that, hey, Ican.
Just, I can sit on the couch, Ican sit in the kitchen, I can,
I can do whatever and I don'thave to turn my brain on high
(28:25):
level mode.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
That's important for me to be, for you to be able to
have that being able to snuggleup together and watch trailers
of things that we think we mightwant to watch.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
We did that last night.
We watched two shows.
It was like well crap, there'snothing on.
We watched trailers for an hourand a half and it's like just
doing nothing kind of tired.
You want to go to bed?
Yeah, I guess, but doing that?
Speaker 1 (28:51):
I mean literally doing nothing sitting next to
you, not having to resort to aphone to keep us entertained.
Oh, do you see this?
You know, showing each otherwhatever kind of deals or
shopping, or checking emails orwork.
We can sit beside each otherand not give two rats butts
(29:14):
about what's going on in theworld, because we're together
yeah, because our world is rightwith us.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
That's's it.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
I love the way you look at me.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
What's that mean?
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Every time you look at me, even if I haven't seen
you I think I've said thisbefore If you were at church
before me and I get there lateryou are on the prowl Like
where's my wife?
She's not here yet.
There she is.
Whatever you're doing, wheneveryou're talking, whoever you're
(29:49):
talking to, whatever you weredoing, in that very moment you
completely stop.
We lock eyes.
It's like you are that oldschool cartoon character with
the heart eyes.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
There's Bugs Bunny.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
No, Pepe Le Pew.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Oh, Pepe, yes, Pepe Le Pew.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
I can see that your heart is pumping out of your
chest and you float or like BugsBunny when he smells like an
apple pie, when he smells theapple pie in the window.
Yes, that is just holy crap.
Everything else in the worldshuts off.
There is nothing else.
No one can stop the look thatwe have when we see each other.
(30:31):
It's holy crap.
How did I get so lucky?
There's a lot of other things,but Can't say them here.
Probably not.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
I mean you could, but I can but.
Probably shouldn't Tell melater, later those are just a
few things yes but my god,you're sexy as hell too.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
That helps.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
I'm so glad you think so.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
The feeling is mutual , baby did I tell about the time
the stupid high school kid wastrying his hardest to get a
teacher to hook up with him andhe is hardcore set on me.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Oh, at school currently.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
Yes, and he's like Coach Powers.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
He's hot for teacher.
Yeah, it's gross yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Yes, is he cute?
Said no, he's yes.
I said he's sexy as hell.
He goes, oh, in the class wherehe says it is, one is a girl
who is, um, a sister of one ofthe boys that we coach baseball
of, and she laughs out loud andsays yeah, he's a big dude, you
(31:44):
can just hang that up.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I was like she's right, I like this girl Big fan.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
It was just all gross .
But I was like no, he's notcute, he's like yes.
I said, he is sexy as hell,whoa.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
People don't expect answers like that.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
No.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Yeah, he's pretty cute.
That's what I hear most younggirls say about their either
husband or their significantother at the time.
They're cute.
Yeah, he's cute.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
I'm very happy.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
He's sexy as hell, if you want it.
If you are all about this dude,you better own it.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Let him know how you feel and show you him how you
feel.
Yes, you will never have toworry about him going on
Facebook and liking some othergirl's photos, because he's
going to be too enamored withthe pictures of you on his phone
and he is going to look atnothing but you.
Word of the wise, let your manknow how you feel, how he looks,
nothing but you Word of thewise.
Let your man know how you feel,how he looks yes.
(32:46):
And show him yes, so that's it.
You want to go home.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
You want to go home, you want to come home.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Oh, we got to go.
God, we love you.
We are so thankful for whatyou're doing.
We are so thankful for thisplatform that you've given us,
and I just want to make it knownthat it belongs solely to you.
We pray for every single personwho listened through these
goofy stories, through theserealistic stories, and the
prayer is that it just gets toears that need to hear it, that
(33:13):
people can learn from it, theycan experience something from it
, that they can open up owndialogue and questions and
thoughts and discussions withtheir own spouse, just to
improve their relationship andwork it out.
The way in which you designed,and then just be able to see how
you designed it is so muchbetter than anything we could do
on our own and just let itflourish the way you wanted.
(33:33):
God, we are thankful for it.
We trust you.
We love you In Jesus name, amen.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Amen Play ball.
here's a question for you is marriage overrated?
Why aren't?
People getting married anymorea new pew research poll found
that two and five young adultsthink marriage is an outdated
tradition.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Marriage rates are at their lowest right now.
Is marriage really even worthit?
More than half of marriages endin divorce.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
If you get married, you have to be stuck with this
person for the rest of your life, right?
That's why you get married, sothat's why it's declining.
Why would you get married ifyou don't?
If you want to have just onepartner when you can have
multiple Marriage is stupid.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Welcome to the Married AF podcast, the
self-proclaimed greatestmarriage relationship podcast in
the world.
We're your hosts, Matthew andMonica Powers.
Baby, I love you.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
I am so proud of you.
I love you too.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
You know how hard it was not to ask you how you're
doing, even though I know howwell, you're doing.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Or we're back.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
We're not.
I didn't say any of those dumbthings.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
That's why I love you .
I love you.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I love you so much so I'm going to hit you off with a
banger, really really fast,right out of the gate.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
It's going to be a quickie.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
It gets in that direction real quick.
So this was something that Ifound on the interwebs.
Okay, and we've talked aboutthis before and this revolves
around intimacy, but the titleof this was A Threesome Saved Us
.
Now, just before you comment,let me kind of get through and
they're gonna.
Let you formulate your thoughts.
But can a threesome actuallysave a marriage?
Speaker 1 (01:32):
literally stress thing on my watch went off.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Are you kidding me?
No, so a threesome saved us.
So here's the gist of the story, real quick, okay.
So, husband and wife, they aremarried.
Things in the bedroom wereawesome, honeymoon phase as it
typically is.
You know, they're getting afterit three, four, five, six,
seven times a week, however many.
But the sex life is good and,as we typically hear, after time
it dwindles down.
(01:56):
It's not great.
It doesn't happen as often.
Men get frustrated, women getfrustrated, and there's this,
this, this tension.
So, as this man says andthere's a huge key to this story
that I'll tell you now saidthis happened right after we
left the church that we were in.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Imagine that.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Shocker right.
So he had always had thisfeeling that his wife was into
other women, and they had talkedabout it before.
And so there was this woman inwhich wife worked with that they
both found very attractive, andone night, one thing led to
another.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
I'm sure it did.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
And his wife was actually passed out.
But he woke his wife up becausehe knew how much she would be
into this to have a threesome.
And he does.
And he says they have thisthreesome and it's amazing and
incredible.
And he does.
And he says they have thisthreesome and it's amazing and
incredible and they've kept intouch since and they have done
it a few times since.
But he said where the bedroomwas dead and they weren't having
(02:55):
sex at all and the intimacy waslacking severely to make them
question their marriage.
He said the threesome reignitedeverything where they're more
passionate about each other.
They're having sex multipletimes a week.
The sex is really great.
And he said a threesome hassaved our marriage.
Now I'm going to give you mythoughts on it first before you
(03:18):
dive into your thoughts on it.
Okay, because here's my thoughtthis is going to be a rare case
where perhaps a threesome savedtheir marriage, and I say that
in quotation marks.
It reignited the bedroom, whichwe want to see.
You know we want people havingsex.
It's good for you, it makes youhappy, it's great, and this
(03:39):
seemed to do that and I thinkthat's awesome and if this is
what saved that part, bravo.
In a sense, however, thethreesome may have saved this
marriage for this short littleamount of time, but it's only a
matter of time before thisunravels into something bad.
So, yes, can a threesome saveyou?
(04:01):
It's like putting a Band-Aid ona bullet hole.
It can save very quickly.
Everything's reunited, they'repassionate.
They're just aggressive towardseach other.
They're wanting to have a lotof sex with each other, and that
is amazing, and he credits thethreesome for that happening.
And it probably did.
But as time goes by, things aregoing to dwindle.
(04:27):
They're going to continue toseek after this girl, another
girl, another guy, who knowswhat, and eventually feelings
will catch, because I guaranteethere are already.
Some are going to catch forsomeone else in a different
situation, and things are goingto unravel.
Catch for someone else in adifferent situation, and things
(04:47):
are going to unravel.
So my thought is that, yeah,sure, the threesome saved your
sex life for now, but in thelong run, this is going to be
the thing that dooms yourmarriage forever.
Unless you come together, yourealize what a huge mistake this
was, that this was not what isbest for you.
You completely repent from this, turn away from this and move
in the direction you weresupposed to you, you completely
repent from this, turn away fromthis and move in the direction
you were supposed to.
Can you be saved from thisAbsolutely?
(05:09):
Can this just be something ofthe past that no longer affects
your future?
Absolutely.
But you both together have tocompletely turn away from that
altogether.
But I believe if this continues,this will be the one thing that
completely destroys theirrelationship forever.
So can a threesome save you?
Temporarily, maybe in a rarecircumstance.
(05:30):
Long-term, absolutely not.
So I kind of digested all that.
I know you've got thoughts.
I can see your beautiful facetelling me like I have a lot of
things to think about this, alot of things to say about this.
So before you attack anddestroy, I really want to kind
of hear your thought process andwhat you believe about this
situation.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
Number one issue they left the church.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
That's the number one .
We've seen this time and timeand time again.
I also think a non-believerlistening would be like well,
their sex life is boring becausethey're in church, wrong for
the person who is thinking that,and there are definitely people
(06:14):
who are listening who arethinking well, of course, if
you're in church and you believein Jesus and all of that stuff,
yeah, your sex life is going tobe awful.
Oh, brother, I got something totell you.
If anything, it's onlyexponentially better.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Because we're working towards the same thing.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
And when you do that, you are thinking about each
other over yourselves.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
But let's get out of a biblical mindset absolutely,
and I tried to kind of come atthat with this mindset too.
So, outside of a biblicalmindset, outside of church
mindset, let me have it if thesex life died, it's.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
It takes two.
I feel like if you are in arelationship and you both aren't
seeking each other, then youare seeking something else
Everyone has needs.
Obviously, this guy waspromoting the threesome, did he
(07:25):
might want it, maybe not, buthis wife was asleep and he woke
her up because he knew she wouldwant this because they were
talking about it.
Okay, did his wife just need tosee that somebody else thought
he was attractive?
(07:45):
Could be, and would have sexwith him, because jealousy can
make someone absolutely crazy.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Well, and you've seen the, we've seen it in real life
where maybe this guy is reallyinto this girl and she will not
give him the time of day, yeahAt all.
But the moment some other girlgives him attention, oh, now she
is all about this guy and shewants this guy now.
So could that be the case?
Sure?
Speaker 1 (08:16):
that seems because they they have an incredible sex
life now so and they've had sexwith this other girl.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Several times since.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Okay.
Does it say how old thesepeople are if they have kids?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
No.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
How long had they been married before all this
happened?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
They'd been married about five years.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
Oh my goodness, they didn't even get to the seven
year itch.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Not even the seven year itch I couldn't imagine
bringing someone else into arelationship that we have
absolutely not especially now?
Speaker 1 (08:56):
oh no, kids are no kids.
No, no way in hell am I evergoing to share you Over my dead
body?
Will another woman see younaked?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
Well, and I feel the exact same way, like that's a
non-negotiable.
And when you get back to theBible, I mean it speaks to that,
you know.
It totally mentions that, likeit's you and I together as one
forever.
And if you have the need forsomething else, something
different, some spice, there areways to be able to get that
(09:30):
need filled with your spouse.
We've talked about exploringyourselves.
We've talked about the menu.
We've talked about toys.
We've talked about dressing up.
All that stuff, I believe, isperfectly fine as long as it is
not replacing your spouse.
The moment it replaces yourspouse, then you've got some
serious, serious problems.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
Or puts them in harm.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Absolutely no harm, no replacing your spouse.
Otherwise we say hey, be anopen book, Be open-minded.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
Tell them no, I don't like that, that does not go
there.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Yeah, hey, try anything, but absolutely you
discuss it after Like, hey, thatworks, we're going to do that
again.
No, that's never going tohappen again and that
conversation needs to be had.
But can a threesome save yourmarriage?
No, it puts a Band-Aid on it.
Perhaps In most cases itdoesn't.
We've seen plenty of caseswhere, hey, we think a threesome
(10:24):
is going to work out, that'sgoing to be better for us.
No, no, no, no, no, no Doesn'twork at all, usually from the
get go.
These are the rare cases wherehey ignited something.
But in the long term this isgoing to be a bad, bad, bad news
.
Polyamorous.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Isn't that?
Speaker 2 (10:41):
what it is.
Yes, benjamin talked about that.
I had a song about it.
Their polyamorous friend gotthem in trouble again, and
that's that is the truth, and itjust goes to a lack of intimacy
that you have with your spouse.
And intimacy is important andit's not all about the sex.
That's part of it, but it's notall about it.
There are other ways to be veryintimate with your spouse that
(11:01):
lead to a great sex life, butthat is not the end-all be-all.
When you think about beingintimate with your spouse, it's
not just to have sex.
There's so many other ways todo that that lead you to the
path of having sex, so you don'thave to go out and get some
side piece to try and have theseneeds met.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
What did you call it last time?
Dong on deck.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
The DOD, the dong on deck there's no need for a DOD.
No need for that DOD, that dongon deck.
Plenty of women have them.
It's not a good idea, Nope.
So next thing that I want totalk to you about because this
has come up and I saw this I waslike, well, we can talk about
this because we've seen thisalso.
My husband is liking othergirls' pictures.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
Wait on social media.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yes, wait, on social media.
Yes, so this goes to the socialmedia side of things, which is,
again, social media is thedevil, as bobby boucher's mom
would say.
Social media ruins things, butthe history is says so.
This girl has a history with myhusband.
We've been together 17 years,however that's us however, in
(12:03):
our earlier years, you didn'twrite this, did you no?
I'm joking you, let me find youlike it's however, in our
earlier years there was a lot ofdrama with their relationship.
He met her after me.
He was with her a lot and sworenothing ever happened, even to
this day.
But I've had acquaintancesacquaintances tell me
differently.
(12:23):
They claim they had allwitnessed some not so husbandly
behavior between them years ago.
He claimed his friends werejust trying to sleep with me and
that's why they told me therecould be some truth to that.
But I don't believe it one bit.
I'm not stupid, and my intuitionwas telling me that I am
correct.
Anyways, last night she came upon my Facebook page Good old
Facebook, ruling relationshipssince 2005.
(12:46):
As a person I would know.
So I checked her out anddiscovered he had loved a
profile picture she posted justa few hours earlier.
He never likes, let alone loves, my pictures.
As a matter of fact, he laughsat them because he thinks he's
funny.
He also never loves pictures ofhis own children.
I've talked to him about it.
(13:07):
He said it was an accident.
This is the first time I'vecaught him liking other girls'
pictures.
He always this is not the firsttime.
He always says it's an accident, my finger slipped and then
again it happens.
He proceeded to make me feellike I was being overdramatic.
And well, she's my friend andblah blah, blah blah.
I'm not being dramatic.
I didn't yell, just explainthat this is the reason for my
(13:29):
low confidence and that itleaves me wondering how much she
actually likes me.
I'll obviously compare myselfto her, and it opens the door to
make me wonder about things.
Am I being dramatic?
Absolutely not.
But another case of what'shappening on social media
ruining a relationship.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
I agree.
I don't think she's beingoverdramatic, as if I mean if
she's had a real sit down, opencommunication, conversation
about um this and his responseis this an accident and my
finger slipped guess what?
You can slip that finger backover there and unlike it that
(14:11):
you can't do so.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
there's definitely I mean, who knows what's going on,
but there's definitely ayearning from this guy to I want
her to notice me more, and I'mgoing to do that by liking her
pictures on social media.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
I have an issue with other men liking, I guess if
it's a, Okay, so if it's just afamily photo, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah, I agree.
I think that the context of thephoto matters, but I tend to
lean where you're going.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
If it's a just like the profile picture, it's a new
profile picture and it's justthem and they're kind of little
flirty, yes, little little.
I have a lot of friends that Iquestion the selfies that they
post of themselves.
There's way too much legsometimes.
(15:12):
There's way too much cleavage.
There's way too much ofsomething to make somebody else
wonder.
Yeah, and even if you're and ifyour post and picture to you is
absolutely innocent, it's notto the person that might be
liking it.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
No, you have to.
You have to put your mindsets,especially if you are married
and you have kids and you have afamily and you're not looking
because men are different andwe're dumb and our brains are
wired stupid and we're all onestep from stupid where we see
that and we get that.
We get that little butterflyfeeling like oh my, look at her,
(15:50):
look at them legs look at thatbooty look at them boobs and
mind starts to wonder.
So as a female, especiallyposting selfies, you kind of
have to be mindful of thatwhenever you're posting really
anything, because men will takethat out of control really
quickly and even in the caselike this, if that gets back to
(16:13):
the other spouse, that justcreates tension, unneeded
tension in the relationship,which realistically there's a
deeper rooted issue there as towhy that tension is there, but
still and he liked her picturejust hours after she had posted.
Correct.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
I mean, yes, I think that might be a red flag.
But I also have an issue withother men that tend to like
pictures that are not of theirchildren, say, if their children
have social media.
It bothers me to no end that agrown man will like another
(16:57):
minor under the age of 18, theirprofiles or whatever they
posted.
That's a step away frompedophile.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
There is a, of course , there's context to all of it,
but I would always err on theside of caution, like if anyone,
if there could be any inklingat all, that's Ooh, this may not
look good to somebody.
Ooh, not going to happen, notgoing to do it, let's make sure
we don't look towards that.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Well, that's one of the reasons why I'm very
cautious to what I actually puton social media period.
I mean, some people go to theextent of putting stickers or
some kind of weird face overtheir child's face.
I understand all of that.
I understand all of that.
That's a reason why I willnever put Elkie's like the
(17:49):
pageant style pictures of her Ifwe're with her.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
Different story.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
Yes, like her first pageant was in kindergarten.
It was very innocent, it wasn'tall gaudy or anything, but she
won that one and we were justwhat did?
We just could not believe itshocked, and still shocked every
time she wins something orplaces and I've rarely put
(18:17):
anything out there on any ofthat, especially as she's gotten
older just because the world isa messed up place, yeah, and
there's a lot of creepers outthere and you want to celebrate
and those are typically the onesyou know and don't know about
it.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Yeah, and of course you want to celebrate yourself
and your children and yourfamily.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
And we do that together.
I don't have to put that onsocial media.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
All the time that's just me but well, like my, my
social media and it's.
It's definitely nothing to bragabout because it's pretty,
pretty boring.
But, uh, my pictures are all ofstuff, or us as the kids.
My profile picture has alwaysbeen and will always be a
picture of you and I.
It's never going to bedifferent than that whatsoever.
(19:02):
Yep, because you know we're,we're a team, me and my lady,
and that's the way it's going tobe.
Different than that whatsoever?
Yep, because you know we're ateam, me and my lady, and that's
the way it's going to be.
But this was just anotherinstance that we've seen this
happen in real life, wheresocial media, what happens on
social media, just it'smagnifying everything into such
a negative context anddrastically affects the marriage
(19:22):
and the relationship.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
We learned that pre-marriage with MySpace.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Oh, MySpace, that top eight baby.
I better be in your top eight,but there are times where maybe
we weren't in each other's topeight.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Oh God, I didn't want you near it.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
And we should have been in each other's top eight.
And boy, yeah, we learned thisin the MySpace MySpace days.
I'm going to take him out of mytop eight.
I'm going to show him all theseother guys.
Yeah, it happens.
It's not a good thing.
If you care about yourrelationship at all, it's
something to stay away from, yep.
So this one definitely relatesto us.
(19:56):
How do your kids respond to yourkissing and affection around
the house For married coupleswith kids?
How do your kids respond whenthey see you and your spouse
kissing or hugging or any otheraffection around the house or in
other places in your everydaylives?
Our kids are older.
Youngest kid we have is we havethree is in middle school.
So their average responses tendto be attempts at humor or
sarcasm.
(20:16):
A few examples are they walk upand jokingly try to separate us
.
I can hear you guys kissingit's gross from around the
corner.
Do you have to do that?
Okay, okay, seriously enough.
Already they try to worm theirway between us on the couch.
It's all very funny to us andwas just wondering what other
couples experiences are.
(20:37):
We've been married 23 years andwe're both 45.
I saw us with this becausewe're we're very affectionate
with each other.
We're not going to hold backtouching each other, kissing
each other.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
We get each other first when we get home.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Absolutely.
And what I think that does isit is setting our kids up to
know that spouses first, kidsare after.
Like I will bypass the kids tocome to you first.
Now that can seem mean and I'msure there are people who will
hear that and be like what ajerk.
You mean you're going to pushyour kid to the side and go past
him to get to your wife first.
Every single chance that I getBecause it shows my wife is
(21:12):
first, she comes before you kidsdo, Because my hope is that
when they get married one daythey will have that same type of
relationship.
But I saw this because our kidsare completely different.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Opposites.
Elkie can't stand to see uscover her eyes, even anyone she
does not like it does not matterwhat it is, every single movie
or tv show that we watch andsomeone's about to kiss she
hates it she covers her eyes.
She's like is it done?
Speaker 2 (21:40):
but cash, on the other hand, and not so much
anymore cash, just neither herenor there.
He doesn't care if it's goingon or not, he's just going to
continue about his way.
But when he was younger, likehe'd shove our heads together
like you guys should kiss, but Ithink it's important for you he
would and elkie's the completeopposite, like no, no, no no but
I think it's incrediblyimportant for you to be
affectionate around your kidswherever you are, whether it's
(22:04):
home.
Now, you don't want to fill eachother up out in public or in
front of your children.
Do that when their heads areturned, give you a little feel
or something like that.
Absolutely, because you need tobe playful and flirty and have
fun as a husband and a wife, butyou need to kiss and hug and
I've said it many times ifyou're not slapping each's butts
.
You got.
Speaker 1 (22:22):
You got some things to work on you gotta give them a
little good game I mean, I was,I was cooking earlier today and
you just walked by and whamwhat expects, like, oh okay,
then there we go, but you haveto do this.
Speaker 2 (22:33):
I think it's important that you do this and
I'm so thankful that we can dothis and our kids it's
normalized around our children.
I don't think enough couplecouples do this, but we need to
be super Well, mostly becausethey don't want to kiss their
spouse.
Well, there's part of that too,and I'm not talking just about a
little measly peck on the lipsand move on.
No, kiss your spouse.
(22:54):
I'm not saying you make outwith them and throw them on the
counter with the kids around,wait till they go to bed and do
that, but not with the kidsaround.
But you need to be affectionatewith one another.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Romantic kisses are okay.
When they can see that, that'sfine.
Yes, not just the tongue shoveddown each other's throats.
That might be weird, becausethen they're going to go to
school and think, well, mom, daddid that and they like each
other.
I'm going to do that to theperson I like.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
Yeah, now, there's a time and a place for that, but
definitely not all the time.
But this should be morenormalized than I think that it
is, and I just I thought it wasfunny, I also think it makes our
kids okay to give hugs andkisses to us.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
We are not the kissing on the lips kind of
people with our children.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
No, no, no, no.
My lips are reserved for youyes and they.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
We are cheek kissing people yes I mean, elkie even
has her own elkie kiss.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Yes, she does, yeah and I'll kiss kiss them on the
head and and that's.
That's about as far as it goes,but just yeah, they can show
affection and love and I thinkit's healthy for us to be able
to do that, and I hope thatother people who see this and
listen to this are experiencingthe same thing can do the same
thing.
I would love to know how doyour kids react to this?
(24:15):
Or do you shy away from it?
Because your kids are there?
And, if not, let's normalize alittle bit of this behavior,
because they need to see thelove that their mom and dad have
for each other and how closethey are, and to let them know
that, hey, when you get marriedone day, your spouse is number
one.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
They know that they are number three in our lives.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
They do, they do Jesus, spouse, kids, everyone
comes after that.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
And my hope is we are their number two.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Yeah, I hope so.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
I hope so, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
I think so most of the time.
All right, Last one before wewrap up.
All right, Question for youbaby, and maybe I'll answer
before you.
Uh, so you can think on it.
But what are things that yourspouse has done or does that
keeps you falling in love withthem?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
Whoa.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
What are things that I do that just keeps you?
Speaker 1 (25:10):
falling in love with me all over again.
I don't even know where tostart on that one.
All right, Well.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
I'll let you think on it and I'll let you know kind
of what you do.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Okay, because I have things.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Okay, great.
Well, I can't wait to hear them, but I'll tell you mine to
start with.
Speaker 1 (25:21):
Okay, tell me.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
One of them, and it's not necessarily in this setting
, but just to be able to sitdown and talk to you, and you
are interested in what I have tosay.
You will look at me in the eyes, you will ask questions, you
are engaged, you are interested,and I just think to myself how
lucky am I that I have someoneso amazing, so beautiful, so
(25:43):
just perfect for me, that wantsto be a part of my life and to
share in her life with mine, andthat is something that makes me
fall head over heels in lovewith you every single day.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
I had a conversation about how I felt like I had no
reason to be a part of aconversation or give a certain
amount of acknowledgement to it,because I had no idea what
anything was saying.
But that comes from you.
I'm hanging on every word.
It doesn't matter if I knownothing about the situation.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
It's definitely something that makes me fall in
love with you every single day.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Noted.
Okay, noted Good, so glad.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
The other things are just how you will curl up to me
on the couch, how you'll justlay your head on my shoulder,
how you'll just prop your feetin my lap Without asking,
without even asking, just thoselittle things are just like oh
yeah, she's mine.
This is amazing, this is, Iwould don't want to be anywhere
else.
And then you know, there's someother things that are not
(26:51):
necessarily pg rated.
Um, but we'll leave it there,baby.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
I don't know that this is a pg it's probably pg
now, though.
Speaker 2 (26:59):
I mean, you look at netflix now.
Pg, yeah, pg.
We We'll say PG-13.
Speaker 1 (27:02):
We did say dong.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Yes, this is not X-rated, maybe a little R, we'll
save that for ourselves.
But I mean just the way youlook in certain outfits, the way
you look when you're gettingready for bed.
Those little things are.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
You do stare at me a lot when I'm getting ready for
bed.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
I do, I really, I think you just blanked my
nightie.
I love what you write about, sothat's for me.
How about you?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
The way you completely manhandle things that
I think I can do and I can dothem well, but I don't have
enough time in a day to do allthe things that I'm supposed to.
And I get home and I seeeverything has already been done
(27:46):
and probably done better than Iwould have been able to do it,
without telling you, hey, canyou do this?
You got to do this, you got todo this, not having to delegate,
I just it blows my mind.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Well, there are times like when, when, when I'm
around, when we're together, Iwant you to be able to just kind
of shut it down for a littlebit and when you get home, to
just be able to shut it down andnot have to think and do and
worry and just know that, hey, Ican.
Just, I can sit on the couch, Ican sit in the kitchen, I can,
I can do whatever and I don'thave to turn my brain on high
(28:25):
level mode.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
That's important for me to be, for you to be able to
have that being able to snuggleup together and watch trailers
of things that we think we mightwant to watch.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
We did that last night.
We watched two shows.
It was like well crap, there'snothing on.
We watched trailers for an hourand a half and it's like just
doing nothing kind of tired.
You want to go to bed?
Yeah, I guess, but doing that?
Speaker 1 (28:51):
I mean literally doing nothing sitting next to
you, not having to resort to aphone to keep us entertained.
Oh, do you see this?
You know, showing each otherwhatever kind of deals or
shopping, or checking emails orwork.
We can sit beside each otherand not give two rats butts
(29:14):
about what's going on in theworld, because we're together
yeah, because our world is rightwith us.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
That's's it.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
I love the way you look at me.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
What's that mean?
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Every time you look at me, even if I haven't seen
you I think I've said thisbefore If you were at church
before me and I get there lateryou are on the prowl Like
where's my wife?
She's not here yet.
There she is.
Whatever you're doing, wheneveryou're talking, whoever you're
(29:49):
talking to, whatever you weredoing, in that very moment you
completely stop.
We lock eyes.
It's like you are that oldschool cartoon character with
the heart eyes.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
There's Bugs Bunny.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
No, Pepe Le Pew.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Oh, Pepe, yes, Pepe Le Pew.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
I can see that your heart is pumping out of your
chest and you float or like BugsBunny when he smells like an
apple pie, when he smells theapple pie in the window.
Yes, that is just holy crap.
Everything else in the worldshuts off.
There is nothing else.
No one can stop the look thatwe have when we see each other.
(30:31):
It's holy crap.
How did I get so lucky?
There's a lot of other things,but Can't say them here.
Probably not.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
I mean you could, but I can but.
Probably shouldn't Tell melater, later those are just a
few things yes but my god,you're sexy as hell too.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
That helps.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
I'm so glad you think so.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
The feeling is mutual , baby did I tell about the time
the stupid high school kid wastrying his hardest to get a
teacher to hook up with him andhe is hardcore set on me.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Oh, at school currently.
Speaker 1 (31:11):
Yes, and he's like Coach Powers.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
He's hot for teacher.
Yeah, it's gross yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Yes, is he cute?
Said no, he's yes.
I said he's sexy as hell.
He goes, oh, in the class wherehe says it is, one is a girl
who is, um, a sister of one ofthe boys that we coach baseball
of, and she laughs out loud andsays yeah, he's a big dude, you
(31:44):
can just hang that up.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I was like she's right, I like this girl Big fan.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
It was just all gross .
But I was like no, he's notcute, he's like yes.
I said, he is sexy as hell,whoa.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
People don't expect answers like that.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
No.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Yeah, he's pretty cute.
That's what I hear most younggirls say about their either
husband or their significantother at the time.
They're cute.
Yeah, he's cute.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
I'm very happy.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
He's sexy as hell, if you want it.
If you are all about this dude,you better own it.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Let him know how you feel and show you him how you
feel.
Yes, you will never have toworry about him going on
Facebook and liking some othergirl's photos, because he's
going to be too enamored withthe pictures of you on his phone
and he is going to look atnothing but you.
Word of the wise, let your manknow how you feel, how he looks,
nothing but you Word of thewise.
Let your man know how you feel,how he looks yes.
(32:46):
And show him yes, so that's it.
You want to go home.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
You want to go home, you want to come home.
Speaker 2 (32:51):
Oh, we got to go.
God, we love you.
We are so thankful for whatyou're doing.
We are so thankful for thisplatform that you've given us,
and I just want to make it knownthat it belongs solely to you.
We pray for every single personwho listened through these
goofy stories, through theserealistic stories, and the
prayer is that it just gets toears that need to hear it, that
(33:13):
people can learn from it, theycan experience something from it
, that they can open up owndialogue and questions and
thoughts and discussions withtheir own spouse, just to
improve their relationship andwork it out.
The way in which you designed,and then just be able to see how
you designed it is so muchbetter than anything we could do
on our own and just let itflourish the way you wanted.
(33:33):
God, we are thankful for it.
We trust you.
We love you In Jesus name, amen.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Amen Play ball.
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