June 17, 2025 • 33 mins
What happens when married couples choose freedom over family?
In this episode of Married AF, Matthew and Monica Powers unpack the rising trend of the DINK lifestyle, "Dual Income, No Kids" where couples opt out of parenthood in pursuit of adventure, financial freedom, and personal growth. Inspired by a viral Business Insider article, we dive into the story of a Canadian couple who quit their jobs to travel the world child-free and explore why more millennial and Gen Z marriages are following suit.
But is this lifestyle as fulfilling as it seems? Or does it come with hidden costs?
This isn’t just about plane tickets and bucket lists. We tackle the marriage challenges and life lessons behind the no-kids movement from skyrocketing child-rearing costs to emotional intimacy, social stigma, long-term legacy, and even spirituality. We contrast short-term freedom with long-term purpose, asking the deeper questions:
🌀 What kind of love leaves a legacy?
🌀 What happens when the fun fades and the silence sets in?
You’ll hear:
- Real talk about money for couples and how dual income affects marriage dynamics
- Cultural shifts and spiritual considerations shaping the modern view of family
- Research on marital satisfaction, loneliness, and regrets
- Engaging questions about your future, your marriage, and your “why”
Whether you're child-free by choice, considering delayed parenthood, or knee-deep in diapers, this genuine conversationinvites you to reflect on what truly matters in a happy marriage.
⚠️ Spoiler: No one gets to the end of life wishing they had just traveled more.
This episode blends relationship coaching, honesty, faith, and a bit of humor, to help couples navigate real decisions with clarity and compassion.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Maybe, perhaps the worst possible name for any
group of people that has everexisted or could ever exist.
If I fall into this category ofperson and this is what I'm
being identified as and this ismy name I'm like baby, we gotta
get the heck out of here.
It's awful, here it's uh, it'sawful.
(00:36):
This is known as when marriedcouples say no to kids and they
preserve this particularlifestyle known as drum roll,
the dink lifestyle dink here's aquestion for you is marriage
overrated?
why aren't people gettingmarried anymore?
A new pew research poll foundthat two and five young adults
(00:59):
think marriage is an outdatedtradition.
Marriage rates are at theirlowest right now.
Is marriage really even worthit?
More than half of marriages endin divorce.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
If you get married, you have to be stuck with this
person for the rest of your life, right?
That's why you get married.
So that's why it's declining.
Why would you get married ifyou don't, if you want to have
just one partner when you canhave multiple.
Marriage is stupid.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Welcome to the Married AF Podcast, the
self-proclaimed greatestmarriage and relationship
podcast in the world.
We are your hosts, matthew andMonica Powers, and you sent me
an article that you found a weekor two ago.
I guess that we're going totalk about today and the name of
who these people are, or whatthese people are, or what these
(01:47):
people have coined themselves,or maybe what the world has
coined these people maybeperhaps the worst possible name
for any group of people that hasever existed or could ever
exist.
If I fall into this category ofperson and this is what I'm
being identified as and this ismy name, I'm like baby.
(02:08):
We got to get the heck out ofhere it's uh it's awful.
This is known as when marriedcouples say no to kids and they
preserve this particularlifestyle, known as drumroll,
the dink lifestyle.
Dink just, and for anyone whodoesn't know, that stands for
(02:32):
dual income, no kids, and thisis the new phenomenon, part
social phenomenon, part personalchoice, but social phenomenon.
If you're a part of this andyou learn I'm known as a dink.
What is running through yourmind?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Well, what's running through my mind is probably not
the same thing as everybody else.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Okay, I got to know what's running through your mind
, because this is my childhoodwrestling knowledge coming out.
Oh boy, let's see, let's hearit Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
So there was a guy that wrestled as doink the clown
yes, there was doing the clown.
Doink had a mini version ofhimself that he called dink oh
no.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
So what was dink's personality?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
he was a little I mean, he was a crazy clown.
You know, honestly, it washilarious that.
When, dink, would you know?
Come out and do come off thetop rope and land on somebody
and you know, help pin like, doa double pin with doink, you
know, I mean, it was just sothat's where your mind goes
that's thatink, the ClownPartner in crime with Doink, the
(03:46):
Clown Wrestling persona of whatthe 90s, early 2000s.
Late, 90s Late 90s, early 2000s.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Well, my mind doesn't go to Dink.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Tell me what you think.
I don't quite know, because youwant to run, if that's
considered you.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
What a horrible name.
Yeah, I'm a dink.
That's so stupid.
It's awful.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
It's just because of the acronym.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yeah, and it is Dual income.
No kids, which I get, but thedinks Like, yeah, baby, we're
part of the dinks.
That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
No.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Like never, never in a million years, would I be okay
with that?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Is that on the taxes when you file?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Married single head of household dinks IRS, if
you're listening.
Let's add that to the tax form.
But it's this new phenomenon ofhey, we're married but we ain't
having kids because it is dualincome, we making some money, no
kids.
And it all came from this.
It's a Canadian couple, aaronand Lucas.
(04:46):
They're in the early thirtiesand they decided no, we are
never having kids.
Never in a million years willwe ever have kids, because we
want to enjoy our lifestyle.
And what they did is they quittheir jobs to travel six months,
says, through Nepal, tanzania,japan, and they said their
child-free life is allowing themto pursue this dream life With
(05:12):
no interruptions, no one holdingthem back.
They're able to achieve a dreamlife because of this, and
they're not the only ones.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Okay, you started out with dual income, but these
dummies quit their jobs withtheir jobs.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
But if you, how is?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
that a dual income.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Well, because they had enough money to be able to
quit their jobs and travel sixmonths but you're gonna have to
come back to do more work well,they have gotten new jobs.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
That are remote.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
That will allow them to continue to travel to pursue
that dream life and let me meguess they're influencers.
Oh, I'm sure they probably are.
I didn't quite get that far andI didn't necessarily say that
in the article.
But they're not the only ones,Aaron and Lucas, aren't it?
A lot of people are thisbecause they see I can do
whatever I want whenever I want.
I can sleep as late as I want,I don't have kids nagging me.
(06:00):
I don't have kids trying towake me up, waking me up in the
middle of the night.
I don't have to go to ballgames or dances or birthday
parties or do any of this stuff.
I can travel freely wherever Iwant, however I want and listen.
I understand that maybe thatsounds pretty good at sometimes.
I mean I could go for just aUNI trip.
That sounds pretty, prettyfantastic.
(06:21):
But for that to be your wholelife, I feel like people are
going to completely miss themark if they continue to try and
pursue this.
Yes, it's going to seem greatand awesome for a short amount
of time, but I don't think thatthat's going to last.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
I need to know more, hear more, because there's so
much going through my brainright now that you're going to
answer with saying somethingelse.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Probably so.
So this is happening more andmore, with more couples that
they see this, and we can focuson travel and lifestyle, and
freedom and self-fulfillmentwere some of the key words that
stuck out in the article.
Freedom and self-ful selffulfillment.
So why are couples opting outof parenthood?
(07:08):
Because here's the thing youand I were there at some point
in time we were not having notto be dinks not to be dinks.
Had it been told to me, hey, youguys are going to be dinks, I'd
have been like, nope, baby,we're having every kid possible.
I'm not going to be claimed asa dink, it's the worst name ever
.
But the reasons why people aredoing this and I see this and on
(07:28):
the surface it looks great thefirst is again, freedom and
flexibility.
It allows people to do whateverthey want, whenever they want,
however they want, withoutanyone holding them back, and it
is the most selfish mindset foranyone to have Granted.
We've all been there, I've beenthere, you've been there, we've
been there.
As a married couple, we werenot having kids, but things
(07:51):
change quickly.
To do that, another huge reasonis financial considerations,
because having kids costs toomuch money.
What do you think about that?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I need to hear your thoughts, but your trips and
your selfish ways don't costmoney.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Well, yes, they do, but they said kids cost too much
money, and plus, that's forsomeone else, it's not for you,
it's not for me.
All this comes from a veryselfish nature.
Here's something To raise achild through the age of 18
costs on average, according totimecom, $310,000 to raise a
(08:31):
child from birth to 18 years old, which seems like a heck of a
lot of money, and you know whatit is a lot of money I am
shocked.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
I think that's low balling it.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Maybe it is for our kids anyways I think of most
people went and looked.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Three hundred and ten thousand dollars over 18 years,
that's that's not bad not addup all the food they ate.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
No, all the food, all the stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
All the toilet flushes.
All the activities, all theshowers and the water going down
, that's you know.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Not only that, all of the clothes.
Like you just went clothesshopping for our children,
Uh-huh, For you know the 8,000thtime because they're constantly
growing, constantly gettingbigger, and we turn around and
look it's like, oh my God, youdon't have anything to wear.
No wonder you're wearing thesame four outfits all the time
because you've outgrowneverything.
You just took them bothshopping and you know complete
(09:24):
new wardrobes because they'veall grown out of stuff.
That happens over and over andover and over and over again.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
What about Christmas birthdays, all the stupid made
up holidays that people buythings for each other.
The Valentine's Day crap.
You don't forget the Easterbunny.
You got to have something fromthe Easter bunny.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Got to have something for the Easter bunny.
Got to have something forValentine's Day.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Tooth fairy.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
To tooth fairy, all that I mean.
It's a constant, constant thing, but $310,000 is not terrible.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
It says millennial dinks On weight Is thing.
But three hundred ten thousanddollars is not terrible.
It says millennial wait, isthat based on a certain income?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
I I don't really know .
I'm sure the time article saysthat, but I did not dive that
deep into it because at the endof the day, I mean I get the
financial considerations.
Children are expensive.
I mean they're not not cheap toraise at all living period
living period is one of theother reasons.
Couple are operating out ofparenthood is just social and
what they say is social andcultural shifts says millennials
(10:24):
and gen z decline and declineand desire for kids.
25 say they do not want them.
47 under the age of um.
Under 50 are unlikely to havechildren.
So nearly half of the peopleunder the age of Say that one
more time.
That's what the article says.
47% under the age of 50 areunlikely to have children.
(10:47):
This is one of the big reasonsfor the declining birth rates we
see in our world today.
Thought that was abortion, thatwas helping out, that I mean, it
probably plays a little bitinto it.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
But of course somebody that's 50 is not going
to be having a kid unlessthey're like oh crap, what have
we done?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah, but 50 and under.
So this is your 30-year-olds,your 25-year-olds.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
I mean I don't know many people in their 40s are
trying to have kids either.
That I mean I don't know manypeople in their 40s are trying
to have kids either.
That itself is a oops.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Well, one thing people are opting not to get
married.
Now also, they'll have whatthey consider a partner that
they'll live with and they'llact married with, but they don't
actually get married.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
True.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
So those typical relationships between a man and
a woman, you know it's, it'sdecreasing.
We see more same sex couplesthan ever before.
We see more polyamorous coupleswho are just free flow and I'm
going to be with whoever I want,whenever I want.
I'm going to have 10 partnersIf I feel like it and that's
just the way it's going to be.
They're not going to.
(11:50):
I guess people would say settle, but I'm just going to be with
this one person.
This is the person I'm going todo my life with, period.
Because, oh my God, whathappens if I miss out on that
other person who may be outthere somewhere.
Always got to have that DOD.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
And I feel like maybe we were just putting the wrong
generation.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I've said that for a very long time.
You have that I I feel like I'man old soul.
I don't necessarily agree withmany things.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
That because we're considered millennials we are
millennials, we're earlymillennials, but we millennials
we didn't have texting untilcollege.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Nope, email did not come on a phone.
It did not have pictures.
Thank god we were not in thisgeneration.
That's why I don't know that wecan.
I just don't feel like I grewup as a millennial.
I didn't have the things thatmy fingertips like the actual
millennials, and I see that withour, our younger siblings.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
I absolutely consider them millennials, but we're
seven years older than our yeah,well, again we're, we're
sisters we're right on the edgeof gen x and millennial and we
have that, that crossover withour generation.
But when we grew up yeah, Imean, you're right we had none
of that stuff until college.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
And then that's when we had cell phones in high
school we did, but you couldn't,you couldn't but it was the
nokia.
Yeah, to send a text you didn'tthree.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Oh no, I missed it.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I gotta go back that's how we text in college.
Yes, we didn't know what thattext meant no, that we played
snake.
Yes that was the coolest thing,and then you could change the
face plate that was huge oh, mythat was one of the biggest
things.
I thought it was so coolbecause the back of my phone was
black and the case that I gotwas red and our school colors
(13:42):
were red and black, so I justthought, oh, I'm so cool.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I'm the absolute coolest right now.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
But I would page you.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yes, you would.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
My parents didn't, I wasn't allowed to talk to boys
or call boys or you knownonsense of that.
So I would just page.
You put in my phone number starone, four, three.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
I love you.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
That means I love you and you would call me.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yeah, that's, that's how we operate, so I I think we
grew up in a great time.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
I absolutely do.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Because we didn't have all that, we were forced to
use our imagination and getoutside.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
We watched TV when it was on TV.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
That was it.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
You didn't have pause , rewind record, none of that.
So I feel just wrong saying I'ma millennial because I did not
have the things that they hadeven in their 20s.
Thank God we didn't, because ofthe amount of ignorance that
(14:46):
ran through both of us in ourearly 20s.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I mean, could you imagine?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
I don't have video of the idiots that I was with.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
I mean, I'm just you know.
Thank God there was no picturesand cameras on cell phones like
they are today and social media, where immediately you do
something that's posted for theworld Now there was Facebook.
There was and there was MySpace, but it was only college.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
It was in MySpace and then, when we turned around 21,
22, myspace came out, myspacewe had our top eight.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yes, we did.
Depending on how we felt abouteach other, we may be in or out
of that top eight with thelifestyle we led back then it
was ugly.
It was horrible.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
So I just find it odd considering ourselves
millennials when millennials arethe ones who are not
necessarily wanting to getmarried well, it's now in
millennials, moving into gen z.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I think it's kind of that late.
Z ain't getting married becausethey divorced well, I think
it's, I think it's the latemillennial intergenie, you're
thinking gen x.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
The late millennial going into Z, you're thinking
Gen X.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
And Gen X, the late millennial going into Gen Z.
I think that's kind of thatnature that we're seeing a lot
more of this in.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
I understand the Gen Z because their parents are
millennials.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
No, their parents are Gen Xers, most of them.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Matthew, you have to realize we got married and
didn't get married because wewere pregnant.
We didn't get married rightaway and then have kids.
We were not having kids, butpeople our age have kids in
their 20s.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
They do.
It's not as common, but yes,they most certainly do.
A lot of the Gen Z is comingfrom the Gen X crowd and the
early millennial crowd.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
But I know people our age that have grown kids, and
when I say grown, they're, Iguess, old enough to 20, 21,
late teens.
Yeah, procreate, you know.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
They are.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
They have.
I know people our age aregrandparents yeah, they totally
are.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
They totally are, they have.
I know people our age aregrandparents.
Yeah, they totally are, theytotally are.
Which I mean, if that's you,there's nothing wrong with that.
It happens, it's fine.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
But that's what I'm saying.
You can't say that ourmillennials, where we are, are
not the parents of Gen Z,because I know they are Now.
I also at the high school.
When I get, when people aretelling me their parents at the
high school, when I get, whenpeople are telling me their
parents now these are 16 to 18year old kids they they don't
(17:22):
believe me.
When I tell them how old I am,I think it's just because I'm
short.
I don't think in my mind I'mshort, but I feel like that's
the reason.
But when I tell them andthey're, my mom is younger than
you.
You said what?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
which definitely happened a ton of them a 24 year
old can have an 18 year old ornot a 24 year old, but but had a
child at 24.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
They're 42, they're our age but see, when we got
together, like if, in 1999, hada child, they'd be 26 years old.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah, no, and that's definitely a definite thing.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Out of college, possibly married and we could be
grandparents.
But we're not, Mama June.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
No, thank the Lord.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
When I found out she was our age.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Yeah Well, Mama June.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
That totally blew my mind.
Mama June's anotherconversation for another day
right, but I'm saying our ageare parents of the gen z's.
They are and I can see why thegen z's are not wanting to get
married because they see thehell that their parents are
going through.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
I think that's a huge part of it, but I also kind of
blame the digital age that we'rein and social media.
You know the facade that is putout there of how perfect these
lives are, being able to travelall the time and fancy
restaurants and always out.
Because I'm single, I don'thave kids and I'm not married,
I'm not tied down, I get to havethis luxury lifestyle, which
(18:55):
isn't true's not real, it's nottrue, but people are seeing that
and that's why they're sayingthe perception that they are the
perception, the perceptionsthere, and they say you don't
know how much debt this personis in.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Just because you don't have kids does not mean
you have financial stability youdon't have.
I mean, when we were before wehad kids, we both had a job, but
that didn't mean we were ableto go and do whatever we wanted
to do whenever we wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
No, and the vast majority, high percentage of the
population aren't what you seeon social media.
Absolutely not.
It is not real.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
They are miserable because they can't do all these
things.
They're taking out loans to goon vacation.
They're using credit cards andmaxing them out to go and do all
of these things.
Now, if you're having to dothat, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Don't stop, stop.
I will tell you right now.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
It's only going to get worse.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
It's not worth it.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
You are doing nothing but hurting yourself.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
You're trying to find joy, but you're filling it with
happiness and it's going awayand that's kind of my major as
we get back to dinks and whatthey're doing and the trial of
it.
It's financial.
It's it's freedom, flexibility,financial consideration, social
shifts and what they claim isenvironmental and health
concerns that they need to work.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Listen to me real quick.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
They need to focus on their self-care and wellness
and avoid passing on theirmedical conditions to a younger
generation.
Now, here's why I think this issuch a horrible take.
Yes, having no kids and beingable to travel and do whatever
you want whenever you want,however you want it looks
(20:31):
amazing on the surface and for awhile.
That may be awesome in your 20s, maybe your early 30s, maybe
even to your 40s, that may beincredible, but that's, for the
most part, less than half of ourlife.
And as we get older, yes, wethink that this is what is
fulfilling my trips and myexperience and my freedom and my
(20:54):
self-care.
We think that is what isfulfilling me.
But all these people who aretrying to find their happiness
in living this lifestyle, it'sgoing to continue for the rest
of your life, because whathappens is well, we booked the
trip, we went on the trip, thetrip was great and I need
(21:15):
another trip.
I need another trip.
I can't function.
I need another trip.
I can't focus.
Let's book the other trip,let's do the other trip.
Do the other trip, other trip,other trip, other trip.
And it's nonstop.
And the reason why is becausethey're not fulfilled.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
I feel like he just described us in a very negative
way.
No, that's not us at all,that's not us, but we are always
going and doing trips.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
We'd love to have trips.
We do trips as a family for themost part.
You trip maybe once a yearwhere it's just us.
But we do trips as a family and, yeah, we have a next trip
planned usually.
Usually that's not where ourfulfillment comes from.
We could never go on a tripever again.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
That is not all that we ever talk about.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
No, it most certainly isn't, and that's why I think
being a dink and living thislifestyle, yes, it seems great
for a while, but you're going tobe left so unfulfilled in your
life that when you are 70 and 80years old and it's just you
that's it, especially, maybeyour spouse passes early All
(22:13):
your other friends had childrenand or even if they didn't have
children, they went and they didtheir lifestyle their way, that
when you get later on in lifeyou're going to look back and
you're going to think like Imissed out on so much because,
yeah, we weren't having kids.
It was, it was an absolute nogo for us.
And then something justcompletely shifted and changed
(22:35):
and we did and I can't imaginelife without them.
Are they a pain sometimes?
Absolutely.
Do they drive you crazysometimes?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Absolutely.
Are you sometimes like just getaway from me, please, leave me
alone and give me just a littlebit?
Yes, absolutely you are, andthat is normal for every parent
to feel.
But my goodness, the joy thatyou have when you see what you
created and it's a hugeresponsibility.
But you see what you createdand it's a huge responsibility.
But you see what you createdand how you've helped them
(23:05):
become this person and you seetheir personality and you see
how they think and how theyhandle situations and their
problem solving and how theyinteract with other people and
the things that they do and asthey get older and they begin to
have these discoveries aboutthemselves and who they are and
what their purpose is.
There's no better feeling inthe world.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
If I could tell these dinks anything I would love to
say I've been you the medicalproblem type things you don't
want to pass them on.
Are you freaking, kidding me?
I do not know who.
My biological father is Stillsearching for the dude.
(23:47):
Who knows who he is, becauseDNA has come back quite hard on
a couple people.
That were the options.
But you know what DNA doesn'tmatter.
You can pass things on that youdidn't even know about.
I didn't know that I was goingto have cervical cancer.
(24:08):
Nope, not once did I think that.
Oh, I can't have kids nowbecause if I have a little girl,
she's going to have it too.
No, that's not how it alwaysworks.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Well, and that is we're worrying for something
that may never happen.
Exactly, and we do.
Well, and that is we'reworrying for something that may
never happen Exactly.
And we do that not just with it, we do this with everything.
Financial we are constantlyworried about things, of what
may happen, and most of the timethat stuff never actually
happens.
What does Paul say?
Worry about nothing.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Pray about everything .
Speaker 1 (24:46):
And yeah, that seems dumb and simplistic, but it
works it does.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Well, we go through life with.
Well, what if this and what ifthat?
I repeatedly say this if is abig word for two letters, two
letters and it's dead on,because if usually never happens
, if I win the lottery, baby you, we won the lottery yes, we did
(25:14):
.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
We got a whole eight bucks.
I was saying it was like six oreight dollars did we send in
the thing?
Speaker 2 (25:18):
no, because you know why we paid more for the ticket
than when.
Well, we won in the lottery.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
That means we got to go back to florida or georgia
and get it, and whenever we did,we didn't know where the ticket
was anymore.
So yes we're we're unclaimedlottery winners, but you're
right, if, if it happens,chances are the things we're
concerned with never happen.
When it comes to this lifestyleof well, what about this and
what about this, and I won't beable to do, I won't be able to
do that.
Listen, we've been able toexperience incredible things.
(25:46):
We've been able to travelunbelievably, and you know we're
not rolling in millions ofdollars to be able to do
whatever we you know we workvery hard for what we do.
Experiences are very importantto us and our family.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
That's our version of rich.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
It most certainly is.
That's our version of you know.
We'd rather do that than havegifts or have material things
and be able to have experiencesas a family.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Our kids don't even have birthday parties anymore.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
No, and we usually do something, go somewhere in some
way.
It's still very attainable andwhenever you're able to share
that with your children and withyour family and be able to
create traditions with them thatthey will one day maybe carry
on with their kids and see thatlegacy that you've left in them
and see how your legacy is ableto spread and hopefully do good
(26:31):
for other people, that's whatthis life is about.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Yes, well, we also have family members that are
kidless.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
We do.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
And we can see the difference in lives of those
that don't have kids to the onesthat do.
There's a different kind of joyin the ones' lives that do have
children compared to the onesthat don't.
And it feels like so many thatdon't not just in our family are
(27:08):
living vicariously through theones that do have children.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
And this is very true , and I think there's probably a
sense of regret for some people.
And whatever you choose, I meanthere's no right or wrong
answer to it but I would justsay to anyone who is currently
in this lifestyle and thinkingthis, you may want to really
take a good hard look at thelong term and the longevity of
this lifestyle that you'retrying to live.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Because your money's going to go away.
It's going to disappear, but,in the end, your family is going
to be the one that's going totake care of you.
They're going to be the onesthat pick you up, help you up
and down the stairs, take you tothe bathroom.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Wipe your butt.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Change your clothes.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Give you a bath, the whole.
Thing.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Now, if you don't have those children, money can
only get you so far, becauseit's about 30 grand a month for
an assisted living facility.
And that's now, and that's justthe middle.
That's not top notch.
And just because you didn'thave kids does not mean you're
(28:17):
going to have that in the endfor somebody to take care of you
.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
No, and you're right, and we'll kind of wrap it up
with this.
And we hear this every time.
Every single person who's inthe hospital, they're on their
deathbed, they're in hospice,whatever it may be, every single
person.
No one ever says I wish I wouldhave worked more, I wish I
would have made more money, Iwish I would have traveled more.
(28:42):
I wish I would have made moremoney, I wish I would have
traveled more.
I wish I would have done moreof this.
I wish I would have gone anddone.
It's always.
I wish I would have spent moretime with my family.
I wish I would have spent moretime with my spouse, my kids, my
siblings, grandchildren.
It is always.
I wish I would have spent moretime with my family.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
It's more of an apology.
I'm sorry, I would have spentmore time with my family.
It's more of an apology.
I'm sorry I didn't spend moretime with you.
It is.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
And I think, my belief is that at the end of our
lives, if we were to look back,it wouldn't be man I got to go
on all these trips, or man I hadall of this money, or man I got
to have all this cool stuff andI think those would be amazing
things, but I think at the endof it you would be man I.
(29:28):
I feel like I may have missedout on, you know, a, a true,
unconditional love, because thelove when you have a child is is
different than anything else.
Um, you know when, when,immediate, when you first have
your child, you don't fullyunderstand what that love is
like.
And then you have them and itcompletely changes everything
about who you are and what youbelieve and what you think is
(29:51):
important.
And my fear is that as peopleget later in life, they're going
to have that experience andjust think, oh man, I missed it
and there's no one else to carryon the legacy that we've hoped
to build in our lives.
You know, whenever we're at ourfuneral, it's going to be a.
You know what will people sayabout me?
I don't care about any of thestuff is, how did I make people
(30:14):
feel?
And with kids.
We have such a huge opportunityto be able to pass goodness
onto the world and this awful,crazy, screwed up, terrible
world that we live in, thisselfish world that we live in,
this is our opportunity to havean impact with the people we
created.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Absolutely.
Because, the selfishness.
It really just goes away.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
I think, as you get older.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
There's their little bitty yous running around here,
and if you're so selfish andlove yourself so much, how could
you not want another yourunning around?
Speaker 1 (30:51):
and we're born into it.
We're born selfish from themoment we're kids.
We're me, me, me, me, I want, Iwant, I want, I want.
But I will say, when you have achild, there's no greater
feeling than the selflessnessthat comes with having a kid and
just saying I'm going to giveeverything to them, give
absolutely everything in theworld to them.
And we should be doing thatwith our spouse too.
(31:12):
We've always talked about that,our spouse.
We should be living for them,giving everything to them.
But as we do that, we do thatwith our children too.
And I just think you know thislifestyle.
It seems great and cool andeverything, but I think you're
going to be left so unfulfilledwhen it's all said and done and
you're going to think, man, Iblew an opportunity to really
experience something special inmy life.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Sad.
And if you are those peoplethat you might be listening and
you think, well, you might belistening and you think, well,
it's too late for us to havekids, it's time's up, you can
still adopt.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Yes, there's always opportunities for adoption.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Biological clock is past ticking time.
Adoption is just as equallyimportant as your own child.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Yeah, and again, there's no right or wrong answer
here.
We're not saying you mustabsolutely do this.
But before you decide to takethis selfish path of it's only
about me and what I'm able toexperience, I would just ask you
to prayerfully reconsider that,because you're missing out on a
ton.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Don't be a dink.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Don't be a dink.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
It's the worst name ever.
You got any final thoughts.
Beautiful, I love you.
I love you, let's go.
God, we love you so much and weare just so thankful to be able
to be here doing this and doingit for you, and that's all we
ever hope for.
God, just speak through us andall that we do.
Allow people to see you intheir situation, whether it's
positive, it's negative.
Maybe they're experiencingsomething.
Just to be able to see you intheir situation, whether it's
positive, it's negative.
Maybe they're experiencingsomething.
Just to be able to see you inthe middle of that, to know that
(32:48):
you can be able to get themthrough that.
God, thank you for our families,thank you for our children.
God, you gave them to us andyou trusted us with that
responsibility, and our prayeris that we'll just raise them up
in a way that loves and honorsyou in all that they do, and we
pray for that, for every singleperson who hears this, that it
will reach the people that itneeds to reach, to be able to
just consider your designthroughout it all, because that
(33:11):
is what it is all about, andwe're honored to be able to
carry that on.
Lord, we love you and we thankyou In Jesus' name, amen.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Amen Play ball.
Maybe, perhaps the worst possible name for any
group of people that has everexisted or could ever exist.
If I fall into this category ofperson and this is what I'm
being identified as and this ismy name I'm like baby, we gotta
get the heck out of here.
It's awful, here it's uh, it'sawful.
(00:36):
This is known as when marriedcouples say no to kids and they
preserve this particularlifestyle known as drum roll,
the dink lifestyle dink here's aquestion for you is marriage
overrated?
why aren't people gettingmarried anymore?
A new pew research poll foundthat two and five young adults
(00:59):
think marriage is an outdatedtradition.
Marriage rates are at theirlowest right now.
Is marriage really even worthit?
More than half of marriages endin divorce.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
If you get married, you have to be stuck with this
person for the rest of your life, right?
That's why you get married.
So that's why it's declining.
Why would you get married ifyou don't, if you want to have
just one partner when you canhave multiple.
Marriage is stupid.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Welcome to the Married AF Podcast, the
self-proclaimed greatestmarriage and relationship
podcast in the world.
We are your hosts, matthew andMonica Powers, and you sent me
an article that you found a weekor two ago.
I guess that we're going totalk about today and the name of
who these people are, or whatthese people are, or what these
(01:47):
people have coined themselves,or maybe what the world has
coined these people maybeperhaps the worst possible name
for any group of people that hasever existed or could ever
exist.
If I fall into this category ofperson and this is what I'm
being identified as and this ismy name, I'm like baby.
(02:08):
We got to get the heck out ofhere it's uh it's awful.
This is known as when marriedcouples say no to kids and they
preserve this particularlifestyle, known as drumroll,
the dink lifestyle.
Dink just, and for anyone whodoesn't know, that stands for
(02:32):
dual income, no kids, and thisis the new phenomenon, part
social phenomenon, part personalchoice, but social phenomenon.
If you're a part of this andyou learn I'm known as a dink.
What is running through yourmind?
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Well, what's running through my mind is probably not
the same thing as everybody else.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Okay, I got to know what's running through your mind
, because this is my childhoodwrestling knowledge coming out.
Oh boy, let's see, let's hearit Okay.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
So there was a guy that wrestled as doink the clown
yes, there was doing the clown.
Doink had a mini version ofhimself that he called dink oh
no.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
So what was dink's personality?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
he was a little I mean, he was a crazy clown.
You know, honestly, it washilarious that.
When, dink, would you know?
Come out and do come off thetop rope and land on somebody
and you know, help pin like, doa double pin with doink, you
know, I mean, it was just sothat's where your mind goes
that's thatink, the ClownPartner in crime with Doink, the
(03:46):
Clown Wrestling persona of whatthe 90s, early 2000s.
Late, 90s Late 90s, early 2000s.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Well, my mind doesn't go to Dink.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Tell me what you think.
I don't quite know, because youwant to run, if that's
considered you.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
What a horrible name.
Yeah, I'm a dink.
That's so stupid.
It's awful.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
It's just because of the acronym.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Yeah, and it is Dual income.
No kids, which I get, but thedinks Like, yeah, baby, we're
part of the dinks.
That's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
No.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
Like never, never in a million years, would I be okay
with that?
Speaker 2 (04:19):
Is that on the taxes when you file?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
Married single head of household dinks IRS, if
you're listening.
Let's add that to the tax form.
But it's this new phenomenon ofhey, we're married but we ain't
having kids because it is dualincome, we making some money, no
kids.
And it all came from this.
It's a Canadian couple, aaronand Lucas.
(04:46):
They're in the early thirtiesand they decided no, we are
never having kids.
Never in a million years willwe ever have kids, because we
want to enjoy our lifestyle.
And what they did is they quittheir jobs to travel six months,
says, through Nepal, tanzania,japan, and they said their
child-free life is allowing themto pursue this dream life With
(05:12):
no interruptions, no one holdingthem back.
They're able to achieve a dreamlife because of this, and
they're not the only ones.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Okay, you started out with dual income, but these
dummies quit their jobs withtheir jobs.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
But if you, how is?
Speaker 2 (05:28):
that a dual income.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Well, because they had enough money to be able to
quit their jobs and travel sixmonths but you're gonna have to
come back to do more work well,they have gotten new jobs.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
That are remote.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
That will allow them to continue to travel to pursue
that dream life and let me meguess they're influencers.
Oh, I'm sure they probably are.
I didn't quite get that far andI didn't necessarily say that
in the article.
But they're not the only ones,Aaron and Lucas, aren't it?
A lot of people are thisbecause they see I can do
whatever I want whenever I want.
I can sleep as late as I want,I don't have kids nagging me.
(06:00):
I don't have kids trying towake me up, waking me up in the
middle of the night.
I don't have to go to ballgames or dances or birthday
parties or do any of this stuff.
I can travel freely wherever Iwant, however I want and listen.
I understand that maybe thatsounds pretty good at sometimes.
I mean I could go for just aUNI trip.
That sounds pretty, prettyfantastic.
(06:21):
But for that to be your wholelife, I feel like people are
going to completely miss themark if they continue to try and
pursue this.
Yes, it's going to seem greatand awesome for a short amount
of time, but I don't think thatthat's going to last.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
I need to know more, hear more, because there's so
much going through my brainright now that you're going to
answer with saying somethingelse.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Probably so.
So this is happening more andmore, with more couples that
they see this, and we can focuson travel and lifestyle, and
freedom and self-fulfillmentwere some of the key words that
stuck out in the article.
Freedom and self-ful selffulfillment.
So why are couples opting outof parenthood?
(07:08):
Because here's the thing youand I were there at some point
in time we were not having notto be dinks not to be dinks.
Had it been told to me, hey, youguys are going to be dinks, I'd
have been like, nope, baby,we're having every kid possible.
I'm not going to be claimed asa dink, it's the worst name ever
.
But the reasons why people aredoing this and I see this and on
(07:28):
the surface it looks great thefirst is again, freedom and
flexibility.
It allows people to do whateverthey want, whenever they want,
however they want, withoutanyone holding them back, and it
is the most selfish mindset foranyone to have Granted.
We've all been there, I've beenthere, you've been there, we've
been there.
As a married couple, we werenot having kids, but things
(07:51):
change quickly.
To do that, another huge reasonis financial considerations,
because having kids costs toomuch money.
What do you think about that?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I need to hear your thoughts, but your trips and
your selfish ways don't costmoney.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Well, yes, they do, but they said kids cost too much
money, and plus, that's forsomeone else, it's not for you,
it's not for me.
All this comes from a veryselfish nature.
Here's something To raise achild through the age of 18
costs on average, according totimecom, $310,000 to raise a
(08:31):
child from birth to 18 years old, which seems like a heck of a
lot of money, and you know whatit is a lot of money I am
shocked.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
I think that's low balling it.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Maybe it is for our kids anyways I think of most
people went and looked.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Three hundred and ten thousand dollars over 18 years,
that's that's not bad not addup all the food they ate.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
No, all the food, all the stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
All the toilet flushes.
All the activities, all theshowers and the water going down
, that's you know.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Not only that, all of the clothes.
Like you just went clothesshopping for our children,
Uh-huh, For you know the 8,000thtime because they're constantly
growing, constantly gettingbigger, and we turn around and
look it's like, oh my God, youdon't have anything to wear.
No wonder you're wearing thesame four outfits all the time
because you've outgrowneverything.
You just took them bothshopping and you know complete
(09:24):
new wardrobes because they'veall grown out of stuff.
That happens over and over andover and over and over again.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
What about Christmas birthdays, all the stupid made
up holidays that people buythings for each other.
The Valentine's Day crap.
You don't forget the Easterbunny.
You got to have something fromthe Easter bunny.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Got to have something for the Easter bunny.
Got to have something forValentine's Day.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
Tooth fairy.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
To tooth fairy, all that I mean.
It's a constant, constant thing, but $310,000 is not terrible.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
It says millennial dinks On weight Is thing.
But three hundred ten thousanddollars is not terrible.
It says millennial wait, isthat based on a certain income?
Speaker 1 (10:00):
I I don't really know .
I'm sure the time article saysthat, but I did not dive that
deep into it because at the endof the day, I mean I get the
financial considerations.
Children are expensive.
I mean they're not not cheap toraise at all living period
living period is one of theother reasons.
Couple are operating out ofparenthood is just social and
what they say is social andcultural shifts says millennials
(10:24):
and gen z decline and declineand desire for kids.
25 say they do not want them.
47 under the age of um.
Under 50 are unlikely to havechildren.
So nearly half of the peopleunder the age of Say that one
more time.
That's what the article says.
47% under the age of 50 areunlikely to have children.
(10:47):
This is one of the big reasonsfor the declining birth rates we
see in our world today.
Thought that was abortion, thatwas helping out, that I mean, it
probably plays a little bitinto it.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
But of course somebody that's 50 is not going
to be having a kid unlessthey're like oh crap, what have
we done?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah, but 50 and under.
So this is your 30-year-olds,your 25-year-olds.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
I mean I don't know many people in their 40s are
trying to have kids either.
That I mean I don't know manypeople in their 40s are trying
to have kids either.
That itself is a oops.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Well, one thing people are opting not to get
married.
Now also, they'll have whatthey consider a partner that
they'll live with and they'llact married with, but they don't
actually get married.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
True.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
So those typical relationships between a man and
a woman, you know it's, it'sdecreasing.
We see more same sex couplesthan ever before.
We see more polyamorous coupleswho are just free flow and I'm
going to be with whoever I want,whenever I want.
I'm going to have 10 partnersIf I feel like it and that's
just the way it's going to be.
They're not going to.
(11:50):
I guess people would say settle, but I'm just going to be with
this one person.
This is the person I'm going todo my life with, period.
Because, oh my God, whathappens if I miss out on that
other person who may be outthere somewhere.
Always got to have that DOD.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
And I feel like maybe we were just putting the wrong
generation.
Speaker 1 (12:12):
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I've said that for a very long time.
You have that I I feel like I'man old soul.
I don't necessarily agree withmany things.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
That because we're considered millennials we are
millennials, we're earlymillennials, but we millennials
we didn't have texting untilcollege.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
Nope, email did not come on a phone.
It did not have pictures.
Thank god we were not in thisgeneration.
That's why I don't know that wecan.
I just don't feel like I grewup as a millennial.
I didn't have the things thatmy fingertips like the actual
millennials, and I see that withour, our younger siblings.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
I absolutely consider them millennials, but we're
seven years older than our yeah,well, again we're, we're
sisters we're right on the edgeof gen x and millennial and we
have that, that crossover withour generation.
But when we grew up yeah, Imean, you're right we had none
of that stuff until college.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
And then that's when we had cell phones in high
school we did, but you couldn't,you couldn't but it was the
nokia.
Yeah, to send a text you didn'tthree.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Oh no, I missed it.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
I gotta go back that's how we text in college.
Yes, we didn't know what thattext meant no, that we played
snake.
Yes that was the coolest thing,and then you could change the
face plate that was huge oh, mythat was one of the biggest
things.
I thought it was so coolbecause the back of my phone was
black and the case that I gotwas red and our school colors
(13:42):
were red and black, so I justthought, oh, I'm so cool.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I'm the absolute coolest right now.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
But I would page you.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
Yes, you would.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
My parents didn't, I wasn't allowed to talk to boys
or call boys or you knownonsense of that.
So I would just page.
You put in my phone number starone, four, three.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
I love you.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
That means I love you and you would call me.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Yeah, that's, that's how we operate, so I I think we
grew up in a great time.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
I absolutely do.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Because we didn't have all that, we were forced to
use our imagination and getoutside.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
We watched TV when it was on TV.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
That was it.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
You didn't have pause , rewind record, none of that.
So I feel just wrong saying I'ma millennial because I did not
have the things that they hadeven in their 20s.
Thank God we didn't, because ofthe amount of ignorance that
(14:46):
ran through both of us in ourearly 20s.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
I mean, could you imagine?
Speaker 2 (14:50):
I don't have video of the idiots that I was with.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
I mean, I'm just you know.
Thank God there was no picturesand cameras on cell phones like
they are today and social media, where immediately you do
something that's posted for theworld Now there was Facebook.
There was and there was MySpace, but it was only college.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
It was in MySpace and then, when we turned around 21,
22, myspace came out, myspacewe had our top eight.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yes, we did.
Depending on how we felt abouteach other, we may be in or out
of that top eight with thelifestyle we led back then it
was ugly.
It was horrible.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
So I just find it odd considering ourselves
millennials when millennials arethe ones who are not
necessarily wanting to getmarried well, it's now in
millennials, moving into gen z.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
I think it's kind of that late.
Z ain't getting married becausethey divorced well, I think
it's, I think it's the latemillennial intergenie, you're
thinking gen x.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
The late millennial going into Z, you're thinking
Gen X.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
And Gen X, the late millennial going into Gen Z.
I think that's kind of thatnature that we're seeing a lot
more of this in.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
I understand the Gen Z because their parents are
millennials.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
No, their parents are Gen Xers, most of them.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Matthew, you have to realize we got married and
didn't get married because wewere pregnant.
We didn't get married rightaway and then have kids.
We were not having kids, butpeople our age have kids in
their 20s.
Speaker 1 (16:27):
They do.
It's not as common, but yes,they most certainly do.
A lot of the Gen Z is comingfrom the Gen X crowd and the
early millennial crowd.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
But I know people our age that have grown kids, and
when I say grown, they're, Iguess, old enough to 20, 21,
late teens.
Yeah, procreate, you know.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
They are.
Speaker 2 (16:51):
They have.
I know people our age aregrandparents yeah, they totally
are.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
They totally are, they have.
I know people our age aregrandparents.
Yeah, they totally are, theytotally are.
Which I mean, if that's you,there's nothing wrong with that.
It happens, it's fine.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
But that's what I'm saying.
You can't say that ourmillennials, where we are, are
not the parents of Gen Z,because I know they are Now.
I also at the high school.
When I get, when people aretelling me their parents at the
high school, when I get, whenpeople are telling me their
parents now these are 16 to 18year old kids they they don't
(17:22):
believe me.
When I tell them how old I am,I think it's just because I'm
short.
I don't think in my mind I'mshort, but I feel like that's
the reason.
But when I tell them andthey're, my mom is younger than
you.
You said what?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
which definitely happened a ton of them a 24 year
old can have an 18 year old ornot a 24 year old, but but had a
child at 24.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
They're 42, they're our age but see, when we got
together, like if, in 1999, hada child, they'd be 26 years old.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah, no, and that's definitely a definite thing.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Out of college, possibly married and we could be
grandparents.
But we're not, Mama June.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
No, thank the Lord.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
When I found out she was our age.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Yeah Well, Mama June.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
That totally blew my mind.
Mama June's anotherconversation for another day
right, but I'm saying our ageare parents of the gen z's.
They are and I can see why thegen z's are not wanting to get
married because they see thehell that their parents are
going through.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
I think that's a huge part of it, but I also kind of
blame the digital age that we'rein and social media.
You know the facade that is putout there of how perfect these
lives are, being able to travelall the time and fancy
restaurants and always out.
Because I'm single, I don'thave kids and I'm not married,
I'm not tied down, I get to havethis luxury lifestyle, which
(18:55):
isn't true's not real, it's nottrue, but people are seeing that
and that's why they're sayingthe perception that they are the
perception, the perceptionsthere, and they say you don't
know how much debt this personis in.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Just because you don't have kids does not mean
you have financial stability youdon't have.
I mean, when we were before wehad kids, we both had a job, but
that didn't mean we were ableto go and do whatever we wanted
to do whenever we wanted to do.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
No, and the vast majority, high percentage of the
population aren't what you seeon social media.
Absolutely not.
It is not real.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
They are miserable because they can't do all these
things.
They're taking out loans to goon vacation.
They're using credit cards andmaxing them out to go and do all
of these things.
Now, if you're having to dothat, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Don't stop, stop.
I will tell you right now.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
It's only going to get worse.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
It's not worth it.
Speaker 2 (19:47):
You are doing nothing but hurting yourself.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
You're trying to find joy, but you're filling it with
happiness and it's going awayand that's kind of my major as
we get back to dinks and whatthey're doing and the trial of
it.
It's financial.
It's it's freedom, flexibility,financial consideration, social
shifts and what they claim isenvironmental and health
concerns that they need to work.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
Listen to me real quick.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
They need to focus on their self-care and wellness
and avoid passing on theirmedical conditions to a younger
generation.
Now, here's why I think this issuch a horrible take.
Yes, having no kids and beingable to travel and do whatever
you want whenever you want,however you want it looks
(20:31):
amazing on the surface and for awhile.
That may be awesome in your 20s, maybe your early 30s, maybe
even to your 40s, that may beincredible, but that's, for the
most part, less than half of ourlife.
And as we get older, yes, wethink that this is what is
fulfilling my trips and myexperience and my freedom and my
(20:54):
self-care.
We think that is what isfulfilling me.
But all these people who aretrying to find their happiness
in living this lifestyle, it'sgoing to continue for the rest
of your life, because whathappens is well, we booked the
trip, we went on the trip, thetrip was great and I need
(21:15):
another trip.
I need another trip.
I can't function.
I need another trip.
I can't focus.
Let's book the other trip,let's do the other trip.
Do the other trip, other trip,other trip, other trip.
And it's nonstop.
And the reason why is becausethey're not fulfilled.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
I feel like he just described us in a very negative
way.
No, that's not us at all,that's not us, but we are always
going and doing trips.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
We'd love to have trips.
We do trips as a family for themost part.
You trip maybe once a yearwhere it's just us.
But we do trips as a family and, yeah, we have a next trip
planned usually.
Usually that's not where ourfulfillment comes from.
We could never go on a tripever again.
Speaker 2 (21:49):
That is not all that we ever talk about.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
No, it most certainly isn't, and that's why I think
being a dink and living thislifestyle, yes, it seems great
for a while, but you're going tobe left so unfulfilled in your
life that when you are 70 and 80years old and it's just you
that's it, especially, maybeyour spouse passes early All
(22:13):
your other friends had childrenand or even if they didn't have
children, they went and they didtheir lifestyle their way, that
when you get later on in lifeyou're going to look back and
you're going to think like Imissed out on so much because,
yeah, we weren't having kids.
It was, it was an absolute nogo for us.
And then something justcompletely shifted and changed
(22:35):
and we did and I can't imaginelife without them.
Are they a pain sometimes?
Absolutely.
Do they drive you crazysometimes?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Absolutely.
Are you sometimes like just getaway from me, please, leave me
alone and give me just a littlebit?
Yes, absolutely you are, andthat is normal for every parent
to feel.
But my goodness, the joy thatyou have when you see what you
created and it's a hugeresponsibility.
But you see what you createdand it's a huge responsibility.
But you see what you createdand how you've helped them
(23:05):
become this person and you seetheir personality and you see
how they think and how theyhandle situations and their
problem solving and how theyinteract with other people and
the things that they do and asthey get older and they begin to
have these discoveries aboutthemselves and who they are and
what their purpose is.
There's no better feeling inthe world.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
If I could tell these dinks anything I would love to
say I've been you the medicalproblem type things you don't
want to pass them on.
Are you freaking, kidding me?
I do not know who.
My biological father is Stillsearching for the dude.
(23:47):
Who knows who he is, becauseDNA has come back quite hard on
a couple people.
That were the options.
But you know what DNA doesn'tmatter.
You can pass things on that youdidn't even know about.
I didn't know that I was goingto have cervical cancer.
(24:08):
Nope, not once did I think that.
Oh, I can't have kids nowbecause if I have a little girl,
she's going to have it too.
No, that's not how it alwaysworks.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
Well, and that is we're worrying for something
that may never happen.
Exactly, and we do.
Well, and that is we'reworrying for something that may
never happen Exactly.
And we do that not just with it, we do this with everything.
Financial we are constantlyworried about things, of what
may happen, and most of the timethat stuff never actually
happens.
What does Paul say?
Worry about nothing.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Pray about everything .
Speaker 1 (24:46):
And yeah, that seems dumb and simplistic, but it
works it does.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Well, we go through life with.
Well, what if this and what ifthat?
I repeatedly say this if is abig word for two letters, two
letters and it's dead on,because if usually never happens
, if I win the lottery, baby you, we won the lottery yes, we did
(25:14):
.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
We got a whole eight bucks.
I was saying it was like six oreight dollars did we send in
the thing?
Speaker 2 (25:18):
no, because you know why we paid more for the ticket
than when.
Well, we won in the lottery.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
That means we got to go back to florida or georgia
and get it, and whenever we did,we didn't know where the ticket
was anymore.
So yes we're we're unclaimedlottery winners, but you're
right, if, if it happens,chances are the things we're
concerned with never happen.
When it comes to this lifestyleof well, what about this and
what about this, and I won't beable to do, I won't be able to
do that.
Listen, we've been able toexperience incredible things.
(25:46):
We've been able to travelunbelievably, and you know we're
not rolling in millions ofdollars to be able to do
whatever we you know we workvery hard for what we do.
Experiences are very importantto us and our family.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
That's our version of rich.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
It most certainly is.
That's our version of you know.
We'd rather do that than havegifts or have material things
and be able to have experiencesas a family.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Our kids don't even have birthday parties anymore.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
No, and we usually do something, go somewhere in some
way.
It's still very attainable andwhenever you're able to share
that with your children and withyour family and be able to
create traditions with them thatthey will one day maybe carry
on with their kids and see thatlegacy that you've left in them
and see how your legacy is ableto spread and hopefully do good
(26:31):
for other people, that's whatthis life is about.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
Yes, well, we also have family members that are
kidless.
Speaker 1 (26:40):
We do.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
And we can see the difference in lives of those
that don't have kids to the onesthat do.
There's a different kind of joyin the ones' lives that do have
children compared to the onesthat don't.
And it feels like so many thatdon't not just in our family are
(27:08):
living vicariously through theones that do have children.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
And this is very true , and I think there's probably a
sense of regret for some people.
And whatever you choose, I meanthere's no right or wrong
answer to it but I would justsay to anyone who is currently
in this lifestyle and thinkingthis, you may want to really
take a good hard look at thelong term and the longevity of
this lifestyle that you'retrying to live.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Because your money's going to go away.
It's going to disappear, but,in the end, your family is going
to be the one that's going totake care of you.
They're going to be the onesthat pick you up, help you up
and down the stairs, take you tothe bathroom.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Wipe your butt.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Change your clothes.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Give you a bath, the whole.
Thing.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Now, if you don't have those children, money can
only get you so far, becauseit's about 30 grand a month for
an assisted living facility.
And that's now, and that's justthe middle.
That's not top notch.
And just because you didn'thave kids does not mean you're
(28:17):
going to have that in the endfor somebody to take care of you
.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
No, and you're right, and we'll kind of wrap it up
with this.
And we hear this every time.
Every single person who's inthe hospital, they're on their
deathbed, they're in hospice,whatever it may be, every single
person.
No one ever says I wish I wouldhave worked more, I wish I
would have made more money, Iwish I would have traveled more.
(28:42):
I wish I would have made moremoney, I wish I would have
traveled more.
I wish I would have done moreof this.
I wish I would have gone anddone.
It's always.
I wish I would have spent moretime with my family.
I wish I would have spent moretime with my spouse, my kids, my
siblings, grandchildren.
It is always.
I wish I would have spent moretime with my family.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
It's more of an apology.
I'm sorry, I would have spentmore time with my family.
It's more of an apology.
I'm sorry I didn't spend moretime with you.
It is.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
And I think, my belief is that at the end of our
lives, if we were to look back,it wouldn't be man I got to go
on all these trips, or man I hadall of this money, or man I got
to have all this cool stuff andI think those would be amazing
things, but I think at the endof it you would be man I.
(29:28):
I feel like I may have missedout on, you know, a, a true,
unconditional love, because thelove when you have a child is is
different than anything else.
Um, you know when, when,immediate, when you first have
your child, you don't fullyunderstand what that love is
like.
And then you have them and itcompletely changes everything
about who you are and what youbelieve and what you think is
(29:51):
important.
And my fear is that as peopleget later in life, they're going
to have that experience andjust think, oh man, I missed it
and there's no one else to carryon the legacy that we've hoped
to build in our lives.
You know, whenever we're at ourfuneral, it's going to be a.
You know what will people sayabout me?
I don't care about any of thestuff is, how did I make people
(30:14):
feel?
And with kids.
We have such a huge opportunityto be able to pass goodness
onto the world and this awful,crazy, screwed up, terrible
world that we live in, thisselfish world that we live in,
this is our opportunity to havean impact with the people we
created.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Absolutely.
Because, the selfishness.
It really just goes away.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
I think, as you get older.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
There's their little bitty yous running around here,
and if you're so selfish andlove yourself so much, how could
you not want another yourunning around?
Speaker 1 (30:51):
and we're born into it.
We're born selfish from themoment we're kids.
We're me, me, me, me, I want, Iwant, I want, I want.
But I will say, when you have achild, there's no greater
feeling than the selflessnessthat comes with having a kid and
just saying I'm going to giveeverything to them, give
absolutely everything in theworld to them.
And we should be doing thatwith our spouse too.
(31:12):
We've always talked about that,our spouse.
We should be living for them,giving everything to them.
But as we do that, we do thatwith our children too.
And I just think you know thislifestyle.
It seems great and cool andeverything, but I think you're
going to be left so unfulfilledwhen it's all said and done and
you're going to think, man, Iblew an opportunity to really
experience something special inmy life.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Sad.
And if you are those peoplethat you might be listening and
you think, well, you might belistening and you think, well,
it's too late for us to havekids, it's time's up, you can
still adopt.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Yes, there's always opportunities for adoption.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
Biological clock is past ticking time.
Adoption is just as equallyimportant as your own child.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Yeah, and again, there's no right or wrong answer
here.
We're not saying you mustabsolutely do this.
But before you decide to takethis selfish path of it's only
about me and what I'm able toexperience, I would just ask you
to prayerfully reconsider that,because you're missing out on a
ton.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
Don't be a dink.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Don't be a dink.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
It's the worst name ever.
You got any final thoughts.
Beautiful, I love you.
I love you, let's go.
God, we love you so much and weare just so thankful to be able
to be here doing this and doingit for you, and that's all we
ever hope for.
God, just speak through us andall that we do.
Allow people to see you intheir situation, whether it's
positive, it's negative.
Maybe they're experiencingsomething.
Just to be able to see you intheir situation, whether it's
positive, it's negative.
Maybe they're experiencingsomething.
Just to be able to see you inthe middle of that, to know that
(32:48):
you can be able to get themthrough that.
God, thank you for our families,thank you for our children.
God, you gave them to us andyou trusted us with that
responsibility, and our prayeris that we'll just raise them up
in a way that loves and honorsyou in all that they do, and we
pray for that, for every singleperson who hears this, that it
will reach the people that itneeds to reach, to be able to
just consider your designthroughout it all, because that
(33:11):
is what it is all about, andwe're honored to be able to
carry that on.
Lord, we love you and we thankyou In Jesus' name, amen.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
Amen Play ball.
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