HDWGB - "Merry Monks, Drinks with Dad, and a Parking Meter Heist" - Matt and Friends Drink the Universe

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Matt (00:01):
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 , 1.

Rob (00:13):
We have liftoff.
Welcome to Matt and Friends.
Drink the Universe.
Drink the Universe.

Matt (00:25):
Welcome back everyone to Matt and Friends.
Drink the Universe.
Drink the Universe.
Welcome back everyone to Mattand Friends.
Drink the Universe.
The theme for today is A gooddrink can be an experience, and
a good experience can call for agood drink.
I've invited my friends tobring a drink of their choice
and to share a story.

Rob (00:39):
This time I've brought another beer which, if you don't
know, is from Hawaii.
It's going to be a traumaticexperience for Siobhan, which
seems to be a theme for sharingstories.

Matt (00:50):
This is the mudslide recipe from Rum Point in the
Cayman Islands.

Rob (00:54):
I recently was up in Maine.

Andy (00:56):
Last summer I spent time in Lithuania.

Matt (01:00):
Sit back and enjoy as we answer the question.
How did we get beer?
You know, as I put thattogether, my first thought was
there was actually wrong answersto that question.
And you know, like the mezcalfrom episode one, yeah, but
that's okay.
Yeah, I'm hoping that my answertoday is at least partially
correct.

(01:20):
So you're somewhat redeemingyourself slowly.
We shall see.
I have some great friendsdrinking the universe with me
again today, so let's go thatway around the table.

Rob (01:29):
This way, Hi everybody, it's Rob back again hey it's.

Matt (01:32):
Andy.

Christa (01:32):
And Krista.

Matt (01:33):
And I had all of them bring a drink and prepare to
share a story.
And Rob is like jonesing overhere to go first, mostly because
his beer is getting cold in anawful hurry.

Rob (01:42):
No, it's getting warm in an awful hurry.

Matt (01:44):
The opposite direction we want it to stay cold.

Christa (01:47):
We would like cold beer .

Rob (01:48):
Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to the crack of
this beer first, yes, it'sbeautiful, it whispers to me, it
calls me.
The noise gate probably screwedthat one up, but that's fine.
Today I am going to share withyou the Super Typhoon American
Double IPA.

(02:09):
This is from Treehouse Brewingin Massachusetts, so let me go
ahead and pour it around thetable a little bit All right.
If you want to tilt your glassfor me, sir, so I don't give you
like a nasty.

Christa (02:21):
A nasty pour.

Rob (02:22):
Filthy heady pour.

Matt (02:33):
Thank you.
You like a nasty.
A nasty, poor, filthy, headypoor.
Thank you, yep, so treehouse upin massachusetts, um, before we
continue, that was so muchbetter than the kegerator poor.
I had earlier this week beforewe discussed the proper way to
just let the tab become fullyopen.

Rob (02:42):
Listen, I just got a kegerator.
It's a lovely development in mylife and I'm learning.

Matt (02:47):
Congratulations on your kegerator.

Andy (02:51):
First of all cheers.
Clinkity Out of size, fineclink.
I'm going to work on that.

Jeff (02:59):
It's a solid IPA.

Andy (03:01):
I remember when we were doing the rankings of the IPAs
and I was saying 90 minute byDogfish Head is like what I want
an IPA to taste like.
This is right there.

Rob (03:11):
Yeah, so surprisingly enough, this is 7.7% Really.
So there's a lot more juice tothis than you think there is,
because you don't really tastelike an off-puttingness or like
a high ABV taste to it, in myopinion.

Christa (03:23):
It also smells really good.

Andy (03:26):
It smells delicious Quintessential what an IPA
should taste like, what itshould smell like.

Rob (03:31):
I'm pretty sure that this is not fruited at all.
I think that this is justcoming from hops.
As I read the can, it says thisis the Big Brother to Hurricane
, which is another beer thatthey have Kettle and dry hopped
doses of Citra and Simcoe andadjustments to the base beer to
make it even richer with flavor.
They're looking for juicy,tropical flavors and a crisp

(03:53):
finish.
This is all just hops.
This has not been fruited withanything.

Christa (03:58):
It's very good.
It's very good.

Rob (03:59):
All the citrus that you're getting is just from the hops.

Christa (04:02):
That is impressive.

Rob (04:02):
Yeah, so Treehouse, the story of how I got this beer.
Treehouse actually does notsell their beers outside of
Massachusetts, or if they do,it's very few and far between to
find it.
So on our way up to Vermontrecently with some other podcast
veterans Chris and Siobhan westopped at Treehouse just to
break up the drive a little bit.
They have a really, reallyawesome outdoor indoor space.

(04:26):
I'm not going to remember thecity right now, but we went to
their main brewery location andit was just unbelievable.
I wound up splitting a flatwith a friend of mine, big z.
Actually, everybody knows big z.
So, yeah, uh, split a flat withhim and, um, you, you know, it
was basically an IPA mixed packof 16-ounce IPAs and, yeah, I

(04:49):
have not had a bad one from thebunch yet.
Really, really, really likeit's beer-flavored beer.

Jeff (04:54):
You know, it's good, it's good stuff.

Christa (04:55):
It's good and it's very delicious yeah.

Matt (04:57):
This would do well like outside as a stadium, summer as
it is.

Rob (05:05):
Yeah, summer as a summer, as it is summery, ipa.
Yeah, so we were.
When we were at the brewery wewere sitting outside underneath
a very large, you know roofedwooden structure.
Um they had, uh, you know, foodtrucks and everything outside,
so we kind of got a meal satoutside, um hung out.
Uh it did kind of pour for likea very short amount of time but
luckily we were under the roofand uh stayed dry.
But um, yeah, really cool,recommend getting up there and

(05:27):
and checking out the brewery, um, delicious.

Andy (05:31):
Yeah, this is absolutely delicious, and we also.
I remember us talking beforeabout how some ipa is sour on
the back end, like the flavordoesn't linger well, and not the
case with this.

Rob (05:41):
Like just sits there nicely yeah, some of I I think most of
the case that I bought weredifferent beers, but this is one
of the ones that they had liketwo or three um cans of in the
pack and this, I think, is thusfar my favorite from the pack,
so that's why I wanted to bringthat today it's delicious.

Matt (06:03):
I understand why it's your favorite one of my favorite
repeat lines from the podcastfrom various people is you know,
this beer insists upon itself.
This one does not.
It gives you here's the flavorand then it gets out of its own
way, and I really appreciatethat.
I dig the can art as well.
It's got like a dr seussbirdhouse thing going and it's
not over the top, though.

Andy (06:24):
Yeah, that's the tree house you know you got your
simple two colors you know, yeah, good, easy, good cart can art
cart are you untapping this?

Matt (06:33):
I'm trying to, but I'm not finding it really maybe it's in
there.

Christa (06:37):
Oh okay, I was gonna say maybe if it's um, it's
definitely a massachusettsexclusive.

Rob (06:41):
I checked, I checked her in yep, I just just found it.

Christa (06:44):
Yeah, I got to get on it untapped more.
I used to have it.
And then I like stopped usingit, for you know I'm not sure if
I've had I'm not sure if an appthat gives you merit badges for
drinking is a good idea or not.

Andy (07:00):
I feel like it's a great idea.
What do you mean?
What do?

Christa (07:03):
you mean by that?
I definitely went through abadge.
Yeah right, I gotta get thatbadge.
That's not how you're supposedto be using that.
I do a lot of video gaming.

Matt (07:08):
I do a lot of video gaming and I look at certain
achievements in video games likeI will never do that.
I look at Untappd and thinkYou're not a completionist on
video games.
I am not.
I'm willing to let certainthings go.
That comes time.
But when I look at Untappd, Ithink these are achievable.
I could do this.
Just give me some time here.

Andy (07:26):
I'm really creative with it, like I was really surprised
when I was in Lithuania again,there was a badge specifically
for Lithuania.

Rob (07:35):
I was just going to say I don't know if this is a typo,
but this on Untappd says it haszero IBU, which is surprising to
me because usually IBAs do havesome kind of IBU ratings?
Green, which is actually thehighest rated beer that I've had
from Treehouse thus far, has 90IBU and I think it's kind of

(07:55):
similar to this, but I drank allmy greens so sorry, I couldn't
bring that Can't compare it totrust.

Matt (08:01):
So that makes me wonder, Andy, if there is a Lithuanian
badge.
Are there unattainable badges,like is there a Saudi Arabia?

Rob (08:08):
badge.
Is this exterior A Himalayanbadge Places you're not supposed
to drink.

Andy (08:12):
You're not supposed to be able to get it.

Matt (08:13):
Yeah, you're not supposed to drink there, but somehow you
can unlock that badge you can?

Andy (08:18):
You absolutely can.

Matt (08:19):
The unobtainable.
Unobtainable Is anybodyunobtainium.

Rob (08:24):
Anybody from Untapped is listening.

Matt (08:26):
We want a list of what those badges are.
That's right.

Andy (08:32):
Actually, I want a list of the badges with the fewest
people who have gotten it thereyou go Like a one-person
exclusive badge.

Rob (08:37):
We're tagging you Untapped.
Tell us.

Christa (08:40):
What are the most obscure badges you can?

Rob (08:41):
get Share with us.

Matt (08:42):
Yeah, we need to know what are the most obscure badges you
can get Share with us.
Yeah, we need to know.
Rob, I'm feeling generous today.

Rob (08:49):
Oh yeah, well, thank you, stellar set, there is a little
bit more.
If somebody would like a littlebit more, I'll take a little
more of that, yeah, you know, Imight too, yeah.

Matt (08:55):
I'll take a little splash there if we're not kidding I'll
take a little sip or two.

Andy (09:00):
Rob, was this your first trip up to the New England area?

Rob (09:04):
No, I've been in the New England area frequently but this
was my first time to Treehouse.
The last time I was up in theNew England area doing beer
stuff we were in Boston itself.
So we did the Sam Adams tourHighly recommend Probably.
You know, to me a brewery tourkind of gets to be a dime a

(09:24):
dozen because once you've seenthe process you're like this is
the process right sam adams wasa completely different beast to
me and like maybe that's becausewe happen to be there the week
after the boston marathon sothey had 23.1 or 23.2 on tap,
which is like they brew it everyyear just for the boston
marathon okay so we got to tastethat in the tasting room.

Andy (09:45):
Good, but yeah yeah, because I would suck if it was
like they brewed it once peryear.

Rob (09:51):
It was hot garbage, what, uh, what impressed me the most
about the sam adams tour, whichthis is kind of a little off
topic from from this tripbecause it was a different trip.
But they taught you how toprofessionally taste a beer.
So they give you this littletasting glass that you can take
home with you and it has likethe four steps of how to taste a
beer.
Interesting, like nose palate,and they say, like you know,

(10:12):
first you're supposed to likedrink quickly I'm probably
getting this wrong but like,first you're supposed to drink
quickly to try to get like anoverall taste, and then you
drink and you let it sit in yourmouth.
So there's different ways tojudge a beer and they kind of
teach you that a little bitduring the tasting.
That's cool, it's been a numberof years since I've been there,
so it's out of my brain now.

Matt (10:33):
How long have we been doing the drinking podcast here?
Two years, two-ish.

Jeff (10:39):
You should ask the person who hosts it how long ago were
you at Sam Adams.

Rob (10:44):
It was like a year or two after we got married, so like
2016 or so.

Matt (10:50):
So you've been holding on to the knowledge, to the proper
way to taste a beer and didn'tbring it to the one environment
where it is most valuable.

Christa (10:57):
I don't think we're really professionals out here.

Rob (11:00):
There's no comedy in doing things right now, is there?

Christa (11:03):
Yeah, we don't do things proper.

Matt (11:05):
That's part of the fun, Put it in mouth, taste drink.
Okay, that'll work too.
Yeah, I mean.

Christa (11:13):
The right way to drink beer was.

Matt (11:15):
I was going to take you out on that one, matthew, I'm
surprised you all let that onego.

Rob (11:19):
I see my superhero mask over there.

Matt (11:21):
Your superhero mask.

Rob (11:22):
Yes, I love that.
It's like become part of thelore in the background.

Matt (11:25):
It's just hanging out.
Yeah, there are several thingsin this room that pertain to
previous episodes Pod lore thelore.
We have the whole maybe I'llput a picture of it.
We have the whole like wall offame going on over there.

Rob (11:36):
Oh yeah, that's true.
So call it yeah well, there isone brewery, that elementary we
miss you guys yeah, sorry, yeah,rip man anyway, but hey guys,
thank you for sharing this withme.
I I really do appreciate it.
It was delicious we'll move onto the next tasty beverage.

Andy (11:54):
But uh, cheers so I guess we'll go to me next.
All right, rob, I was actuallyinspired by your new purchase.
Oh, tell me more.
So I'm also shocked that wehave.
I don't think we've talkedabout one of our local top
breweries in the area, oh yeah,of Weyerbacher.
Oh, okay, I don't think it'sbeen brought up.

(12:16):
I also have to finish thisbefore.

Matt (12:18):
No, I don't think we've ever the Jester.

Andy (12:19):
Oh, all right, so do not look at the bottle, because that
kind of kills the story.

Christa (12:24):
Okay, so don't look at it, but drink it Unless you're
familiar with Weyerbacher'sMerry Monks.

Andy (12:33):
I am not.

Matt (12:34):
I am.

Andy (12:34):
And pour yourself some of that.

Matt (12:36):
I am familiar Without looking at the label no hold on.

Christa (12:39):
Let me put my fingers over it.

Andy (12:45):
We were lucky enough to play a show at weyerbacher once.
It's a pretty cool venue.
I don't know if their tap rooms.
They've been in a lot of fluxrecently.
I don't know what's going onwith their tap room over there.
But I'm also a local musician,a little more on the classical
and jazz side, but I have abrass quintet that I play with
called east coast sound and theyare fantastic I seen them so
much.
We try to have fun.
We don't just do classicalstuff.
We like to do covers of popstuff and random whatever we

(13:08):
feel like it.

Rob (13:08):
Check them out on the internet.

Andy (13:09):
What instrument are you playing For that?
I'm playing tuba.

Matt (13:12):
Alright, very cool.

Andy (13:14):
For the most part, when we're rehearsing, it's more
hanging out and drinking beerthan actually rehearsing.
At one point the couple thathosts us they had a kegerator,
and so we're sitting there justdrinking beer and rehearsing for
a couple hours and they hadMary Monks on their kegerator.

Rob (13:33):
Oh God, oh boy, did they not tell you what it was?

Andy (13:37):
Well no, we all knew what it was, but nobody looked at the
ABV on that, yep.

Rob (13:43):
Is it over nine?

Andy (13:43):
This is a 9.3.
That's what I thought it isExactly.

Christa (13:48):
This does not taste like that.
Exactly it's actually reallygood too.
It's a delicious beer.
Oh man, it's a delicious beer.
I'm getting banana on the nose.

Jeff (13:58):
Yeah.

Andy (13:58):
Yep.

Rob (13:59):
This is a traditional Belgian right.

Andy (14:01):
It's a belgian style triple, which also, again, I
don't generally like belgiantriples, like it's not something
I generally like, but this oneI do, uh, but yeah.
So we're literally sittingthere sipping out, passing
drinks from the kegerator forabout two hours, not thinking
about it.
Well, then it was time forrehearsal to end, for all of us
to go home to stand up and westood up and we went.

(14:22):
Oh, never mind we sat down andwe rehearsed without beer for at
least another hour and a halfbefore we played only music for
the rest of the night.

Rob (14:31):
That's right.

Andy (14:33):
That's what I was playing I don't know what everybody else
was playing, so which one isthis merry?
Monks.
This is the merry monks which,uh of, in my opinion, I've I've
had a lot of the weyerbacherbeers.
This one is my favorite handsdown.

Rob (14:46):
I'll be honest, I normally do not like belgian style beer
same.
It's just not a thing for me.
But I really do, and I've hadthis prior and thought that I
didn't like it, but I I do likethis pour today.

Christa (14:59):
Yeah I do this is really good.
It definitely does not tastelike a 9.3.
I would be like four of thesein and be like dude.
I feel great.
I know they have new.

Rob (15:11):
I know that they have new management, new brewing, new
brewers and stuff like that.
So maybe To me you used to beable to taste the 9.
You know what I'm saying.

Andy (15:20):
You used to have kind of a kick to it years ago, and this
was years ago that we had thisquarter keg of Merry Monks.
We did not taste the nine,hence we got plastered.

Matt (15:31):
Taste the nine.
I mean, I was down there to thebrewery a few times and I do
like their beer.
I like darker, heavier barleywine, that sort of thing.
In general a lot of their beersare heavy hitters Very heavy.
They have the Blithering idiotwhich is the jester label.
Yep, which that's about ninepercent, I think two, nine or
ten probably.
And then my favorite riff onthat was they went to the

(15:53):
insanity and they took the nice,friendly looking blue jester
label, made it orange and red.
The guy's head is kicked back,he's cackling and it just says,
uh, it's insanity, the idiot'sgone, insane yeah and that one's
like 13 or 14 percent yeah, andthat that one.
I sat down and I did not look atthe abv and I knew it was high
but I was, oh, I'll have a cup.

(16:14):
I had three of them and wasgood night good night yeah may I
see the can?

Christa (16:19):
or the bottle art now, it's now official, I can look at
it.

Rob (16:23):
Yeah oh, it is, it's bart, not cart.
Yeah, this is not cart, it'sbart bottle art it is.

Christa (16:29):
It is very cute.
I like the little monkscarrying the barrels and such it
is.
It is very cute.
Um, yeah, no, this is.
This actually reminds me a lotof um, a beer that I had when I
was in ireland, um, ironicallyenough, uh, but like years ago,
when I was visiting my brother,um, and they had this brewery.
Uh, it was like a very tinybrewery, but it was in Cork and

(16:50):
again, it was a beer that waslike you were like yeah, man, I
can drink a couple of these, andyou're, they're like no you
ain't, no, you can't you can,you can, but you better be
walking home dog asterisk yeah,yeah and

Andy (17:04):
that's the thing that's always baffled me about
Weyerbacher is again all oftheir stuff is a high ABV, which
is great, you know whatever,but they want people to come
drink at the brewery.

Jeff (17:15):
Yeah.

Christa (17:16):
They want you to go to the brewery.
You better bring a DD if you'regoing to Weyerbacher.
Where is this In Bethlehem?

Andy (17:21):
Easton Easton.

Christa (17:22):
Easton.
Okay, yeah, yeah, it's close.

Rob (17:24):
Okay, I'm not from this area.
We'll take you there sometime.

Andy (17:27):
Yeah, yeah.

Christa (17:32):
Yeah, yeah, maybe the tasting space is great.

Rob (17:35):
Um, it's, it's.
It's a great little spot, verycool atmosphere.
They've got some like games andstuff you can play indoors.
It's like an indoor outdoorspace if the weather's nice and
cool.
Yeah yeah, it's super cool andlike where their stages they
have like a whole bunch of theiraging barrels behind it, so
like when you play there, likenice backdrop you have that like

(17:56):
right behind you.

Christa (17:57):
It's really really cool .

Matt (17:58):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I've never been, but this beer is
gonna convince me, man, yeah,well, we'll take you like the
dark, like barley wine that sortof thing yeah barley wine is
kind of a niche thing, rightlike not everybody goes for that
for you don't hear anybody sitdown at a football game.
I was like hit me with a barleywine, I would be that guy and
I'd be happy being that guy.

Christa (18:17):
But I am not that guy.
If you're that guy asking forthat at a football game, I'm the
person who makes fun of you bro.

Rob (18:25):
Join the club.
Welcome to the club, the Make.

Matt (18:29):
Fun of Matt Club.

Rob (18:31):
I've been a happy card-carrying member since the
age of 12.

Jeff (18:35):
I will say I love me my.

Matt (18:36):
Steelers.
I love the Steelers a lot, butright now they're causing quite
a bit of alcohol consumption.

Jeff (18:41):
on Sundays I was wondering how you were going to relate
what we were doing currently tothe Steelers, but I got you.

Rob (18:49):
There you go, russell Wilson Hmm.

Matt (18:55):
I mean, we don't normally do a sports segment.

Rob (18:57):
Nope, nope.
And now to Krista with sports.

Christa (19:01):
You better not be.
I don't know a damn thing whatteam is.

Matt (19:03):
Rob a fan of, I can deflect.

Rob (19:07):
I'm picking an AFC team this year Out of a hat I think
I've given up and this year I'vewiped my brow and my ass with
it.

Matt (19:20):
So you're not pulling that .
1995 Dallas Cowboys starterjacket Listen, they used to be
good.

Rob (19:26):
It's fine.
They used to be good.
They've let me down.
They suck, it's fine.

Christa (19:32):
It's over.

Rob (19:33):
I just like the sport of football.

Matt (19:35):
Hooray football.
Rob is a broken fan.
There's any sports?

Rob (19:40):
counselors out there Speaking of broken fans.
It's warm in here, it's so hotin here.

Christa (19:44):
Yeah, it's getting hot in here.

Matt (19:46):
Part of my secret plan to make us all drink a ton of
alcohol.

Rob (19:49):
So drink up all that beer.

Christa (19:51):
Yeah, this is not an alcohol.

Jeff (19:54):
I'm going to drink that beer now.

Christa (19:59):
Sorry, wow, it was good , I'm going to keep it going.

Matt (20:01):
I like that one a lot.
Hey, stellar set.

Andy (20:06):
Two for two.
We're going heavy with thealcohol content.

Rob (20:11):
Based on what I see sitting on this table.
I'm concerned for the next one.
Yeah, I know.

Christa (20:18):
Rob and Andy both brought beers, but I brought
whiskey Tell us more.

Rob (20:22):
I'm here, for it.

Matt (20:23):
It's rye whiskey.

Rob (20:24):
Ooh, I do like a good rye.

Christa (20:27):
A rye is good.
My dad has recently been into alot of ryes.
My brother, joe, lives inPittsburgh so they do a lot of
rye out that way.
So every time my brother hasvisited in the last couple years
he has brought different ryesin Pittsburgh.
This one is not a Pittsburghexclusive, though.
This is Dad's Hat.
Technically it's thepre-prohibition style, but this

(20:47):
is what I had at my house.
So I cheaped out and alreadyhad something and did not buy a
bottle for this.

Rob (20:51):
That's not cheaping out, it's all right.

Christa (20:54):
I brought Dad's hat.
My dad loves this rye, so mymom and my dad have two whiskeys
that they lean towards.
My dad's is dad hat and mymom's is Jim Beam vanilla.
But I am not a Jim Beam vanillafan.

Jeff (21:10):
Jim Beam vanilla.

Christa (21:12):
Yeah, my mom will pour the.
Jim Beam, vanilla with a Cokeand she puts it into this.

Andy (21:15):
Okay, sure, jim Beam is a good mixer.
Yes, yes, yes, I thought youmeant like drinking it straight
from the mug.
No, no, no, no, no.
She pours it into this.

Christa (21:21):
She might need an intervention she pours it into
the like totally 21 cup that wehave, Kathleen please, she like
will put it in a cup and then,like, go out to like the fire
pit.
Or I brought dad's hat becausewhen I was working, so I used to
work a swing shift at a foodlab which sucked, but it meant

(21:44):
that I used to be like at workuntil like 2 AM sometimes and my
dad frequently works nightshift.
My dad only works night shift,so that means that when I was
off work and he was off work,sometimes we would just like be
awake at the same time late atnight and everyone else is
asleep.
So the one time I think I waseither freshly 21 or maybe
freshly 22, I had come home fromwork and it was.

Andy (22:00):
So this was like six months ago.
Yeah, yeah, maybe like sixyears ago oh.

Matt (22:06):
God.

Christa (22:09):
I had come home and I was like Ollie, you are old
except me.

Matt (22:14):
This is all just flagrant jealousy of the fact that you
are younger than we are.
I'm just trying to flaunt myage here.

Christa (22:19):
I'm happy with it.

Rob (22:20):
It's fine, you're happy, I'm okay with getting old man.
I want to go to 21.

Andy (22:25):
I never understood the being afraid to age thing.

Jeff (22:28):
I know we're like completely derailing your story
here.

Andy (22:30):
No, I don't want to kill her story either.

Rob (22:33):
My only issue, my only issue with getting old, is the
lack of recovery that my bodyallows for me.
Everything else is great, itjust sucks to like Do something
that you think you can do andthen wake up the next day and be
like, oh, I'm dead.

Christa (22:47):
I've died.
That's news to me.

Matt (22:51):
It's worth noting, rob is sitting here With his toes taped
together Because he recentlybroke A toe in two places.
We did not need to include that.

Jeff (22:57):
Thank you very much.
Yeah, we did it's fine.

Rob (23:00):
That has nothing to do with being old.
It just has to do with beingdumb Back to you, krista.

Christa (23:04):
All right, so I was 21 or 22 a very short time ago.

Rob (23:09):
Hey, let's pour these up while you're telling the story.

Christa (23:12):
Do you guys want a shot of it, or do you want me to mix
it with some ginger?

Matt (23:14):
ale I'm going to go with mixer.
How did you have it in theforthcoming story?

Christa (23:18):
So in the forthcoming story I had it with a little bit
of ice just by itself, but Idid bring some ginger ale to be.

Andy (23:24):
Ice sounds great, okay.

Christa (23:26):
There is no fucking ice in this room, dog.

Rob (23:29):
It would not fucking last.
It melted long ago.

Christa (23:33):
I'll pour some ginger, ale I don't know if you guys
want to use the cups.
We were using.

Rob (23:36):
Here's what I'll do.
I'll do the ginger ale, as achaser, I'll do the dad hat in
here.
I'll do the dad hat in here.
Do we want to?

Matt (23:44):
rinse out and get ice, because we can do that.

Jeff (23:46):
Yeah, if you want to pause , let's rinse get ice and hold
Beep.

Rob (23:54):
All right hat me.

Christa (23:55):
All right, I will pour a little bit into the glass so
that you can sip it.
And then there's ginger alehere.
If you want to, you know,Spritz it.

Matt (24:03):
That's where it's at Wash it down, whip it up there.

Christa (24:04):
Yeah, I'm just going to pour a little bit, all right,
all right.
But yeah.

Andy (24:08):
so when I was like that was a more aggressive pour than
I intended.

Christa (24:11):
It doesn't mean super aggressive, but I I was uh
coming home from work circa.
Sorry, get no respect in thishouse age before beauty fuck you

(24:32):
.
So I was coming home from workand it was.
It was quite late, I think itmight have been like midnight or
one in the morning, but my dadwas up because my dad was off of
work but he couldn't.

Rob (24:42):
Sorry.
It smells very strong.
Well, I got a big nose.

Christa (24:49):
So my dad was awake because he just couldn't sleep
because he was off work.
And when he's off work and heis a night shift person, he just
ends up being up late at nightbecause he's just already awake.
So my mom had gone to bed noone else was up, but he was just
chilling and I was like, hey,what's up?
And he obviously works nights,so he did not have to go to work
and I didn't have to go to workthe next day.

(25:09):
So he was like well, do youwant to watch a movie or
something?
I was like, okay, yeah, sure,um.
So we decided to watch um,fistful of dollars, uh,
excellent film.

Rob (25:19):
Um good movie.
Oh yeah, my dad.
No idea, no idea, really.
You've never seen fistful ofdollars.
Clint eastwood couldn't eventell you who's in the man with
no name clint eastwood, oh yeah,it's clint eastwood.

Christa (25:30):
Yeah, clint eastwood okay be so for real.
Well, go home and watch it.
It's a great movie, but we justsat down to watch this cowboy
movie and we put it, so it's notabout a strip club Fistful of
dollars.
It could have been, but it'snot.

Andy (25:45):
That's G-string full of dollars, fistful of dollars, and
then the sequel is a fewdollars more.

Rob (25:52):
Is it really?

Christa (25:53):
And then the third movie is the Good, the Bad and
the Ugly.

Rob (25:55):
That one.
I know, yeah, seen the Good,the Bad and the Ugly.
Fistful of Dollars was thethird.
Yeah, fistful of.
Dollars is the first one, athirding.

Christa (26:03):
At some ungodly hour, poured a little bit of whiskey
or a little bit of rye whiskeyand watched Fistful of Doll
awake and it was just likereally nice and I really like
drinking with my dad.

Rob (26:20):
You know what.
I'm going to raise this glassto Big Daddy P.

Christa (26:22):
There you go, daddy P yeah To Pat All right, that was
a better clink, big Pat.

Andy (26:27):
That was a much more satisfying clink.
But yeah, why is this giving meJameson vibes?
A little bit it kind of doesgive a Jameson energy to it.

Christa (26:37):
It might be the way it's distilled, I don't know.
I don't know.
I do quite like the dad's hat,so I drink it quite often, not
just by itself.
I usually will mix it withginger ale or something like
that.

Rob (26:48):
I have to laugh.

Andy (26:48):
Give me a little ginger.
Ale I'll try it with someginger, I'll be honest.

Rob (26:52):
I am rye straight.
I like rye mixed.
I do not like rye straight.

Christa (26:57):
Yeah, I like it, yet you shoot Captain Morgan.

Rob (27:00):
There's a sharpness to the rye.
I think, if you drink itstraight, that you don't get
with a standard bourbon.

Andy (27:08):
With a little bit of ginger, ale that's quite nice.
It's really good.

Christa (27:11):
Yeah, I like to drink it with a little bit of ginger
ale, because it does cut thesharpness of it just a little
bit.
Yep, then, that's usually how Idrink it, but I usually will
take a nice sip of it before Imix it, just to be like nice and
crisp, yeah, nice and crisp,and then I'll put a little bit
of ginger ale in it and andthat's, like my, my drink for
the night throw a little shaveof lemon or orange in there too.

(27:31):
A shade, oh, just a little shade, yeah there's a quite, quite a
little bit citrus Just a littlecitrus in there.

Rob (27:36):
Speaking of shaving, I left this mustache just for you.

Christa (27:40):
Yeah, Rob's rocking the knees.
Oh, we all see it.
Can you see it we?

Andy (27:45):
all see it, this microphone, right now it's
something.

Matt (27:48):
It's something, spirit of Freddie Mercury, be with us.

Rob (27:52):
Dude, why is today's generation into this pedo?
Mustache?
Yeah, I don't.

Jeff (28:00):
What is with that?
I couldn't answer.
It is everywhere right now it'scome back and I don't
understand and the mullet.

Christa (28:06):
The mullet is back.
The mullet's come back to you,the mullet's back.

Andy (28:09):
But with the military, the military rules.
With mustaches are awful, theycan't extend past the corner of
your lips.
With mustaches are awful, likethey can't extend past the
corner of your lips, so it's gotto be like kind of a hard stop
there.
And from I'd say, 90% of dudes,the military mustache looks
awful.

Christa (28:25):
Like why would you even keep it at that point?
Like, if it looks bad, like,just shave it off.
And it has come back.
They're going for the gooselook.

Andy (28:30):
It has come back.

Christa (28:31):
The goose look can only be achieved by goose.
Be so for real.

Andy (28:36):
The number of people who are rocking that awful stash
again is just terrible.

Christa (28:41):
It's crazy If I had a nickel for every time I saw a
dude on a dating app with that,oh my god Are they holding fish
too, oh 100%, that's not allthey're holding.

Rob (28:51):
Let me tell you, let me tell you, they got a small mouth
, bass if you know what I mean.

Matt (29:04):
Andy, I'm just curious about this.
So funny sidebar with thefacial hair in the military.
Do those rules go out thewindow in combat, like if you're
in an active combat zone?

Andy (29:09):
you're out there yes, yeah , yeah, because no one's gonna
care well, yeah, like you don'thave to firefight depending on
where you are, if you need toblend in with local population
and local population wearsfacial hair.
You're going to want to wearfacial hair.
Yeah, the rules are definitelydifferent when you're in theater

(29:29):
than when you're on the homefront.

Matt (29:31):
That makes sense.
So, krista, keep it going.
I got a solicit too.

Christa (29:38):
I felt like I don't know if I deserved that.
Everyone was kind of like, oh,it's good.
I guess Sorry.
Sorry, my drink suckedeverybody.

Andy (29:47):
To be 100% odd.
I've had they do a bourbon.
I think I've had their bourbonand I did not like it at all.

Rob (29:54):
They do a bourbon yes, but this is is the rye.
I always get their rye.
I love it.
I definitely think the gingerale was necessary for me to
enjoy it.

Christa (30:04):
I did try it neat first well, I guess technically with
with ice on the rocks, if youwill, yeah, or one singular rock
, because we have one singularlarge I mean, I think rye is
just like it.

Rob (30:15):
It's got a very specific taste.
I like it as a mixer.

Christa (30:18):
Yeah, and that's perfectly fine, For sure.

Matt (30:22):
I've been on a bit of a bourbon kick lately in general,
trying to find some good bourbon.
I enjoy this.

Christa (30:28):
I would drink it with rye For bourbons.
I like Old Forrester, I drinkOld Forrester bourbon a lot.

Matt (30:32):
I don't think I've had that one.

Christa (30:37):
Old.

Rob (30:37):
Forrester.
I mean like my brother got meinto it and I do enjoy that one.
Everybody check out the bourbonepisode we did because we
tested both cheap and veryexpensive very elite bourbons
and the results may surprise you.

Andy (30:47):
Yeah, yeah yeah, we did eight bourbons in an hour
Sobriety was not a thing thatoccurred at the end, those
results were not surprising,might I suggest?

Rob (30:56):
being on a bourbon drinking course instead of kicking them
from now on.
You said you were on a bourbonkick.
Don't kick them.
No, no, I was in here like wow.

Jeff (31:10):
That joke did not land.
No, it really did not.

Rob (31:13):
I don't think I've ever had a joke be that terrible.
You were like don't kick them,and I was like don't think I've
ever had a joke be that terrible.

Christa (31:17):
You were like don't kick them and I was like don't
kick what.

Matt (31:20):
What are we doing?
Is this a?

Andy (31:20):
habit?
Are we kicking them?

Matt (31:22):
We were all looking at the dead squirrel on the road and
nobody wanted to be like deadsquirrel.

Andy (31:26):
Are we kicking a dead horse?

Rob (31:27):
Listen here's what happened , like about two minutes ago.
I had that moment where youlook too fast from one side to
the other and you go oh, how'sthe room moving this?

Matt (31:43):
is a thing now, so sorry.
So rob rob made a criticalerror today and right before we
came into the studio he said Ihaven't eaten yet I have, and
then also took a shot before wecame in the room no physical
food has gone into my body today.
That is ill-advised forpodcasting so the alcohol came
at rob like what is this, oh mygod new sound, new soundtrack.

Rob (32:06):
Where is this coming?
Did you make this?
Did you know this was gonna?

Matt (32:10):
happen.
No, I've used the train before,though I've never heard the
train.
I thought there, yeah, Ithought there was gonna be more
than just the train noise.

Christa (32:15):
I thought there was going to be more than just the
train noise, my sound effects.

Rob (32:19):
Straight money.
It's a drag, sorry.

Matt (32:25):
Do we want to try something off script here?

Rob (32:28):
Is this whole thing off script?
Where are we?
Where are we?

Jeff (32:34):
Did you guys get a?

Matt (32:35):
script before this it's a drag.
We're going to ask a guy why hepaid $28 for a vodka last night
, because I'm curious.

Christa (32:42):
For a vodka.

Matt (32:45):
Who's a guy.
We're calling somebody.
We're going to do a call andwe're going to see if this works
.
I hope it does.

Rob (32:51):
I'm very excited about this Can.
I speak first.
Let's see if he picks up I'dCan I speak first.

Andy (32:57):
Like to place an order for takeout Come on pick up.

Rob (33:01):
Pick up.

Jeff (33:02):
Hello.

Matt (33:03):
Robin Where's?

Rob (33:04):
my father.

Christa (33:06):
I don't know.

Jeff (33:06):
He seems to be missing.

Matt (33:08):
Well, listen.
He's sitting right next to youMute, can you get him?

Christa (33:12):
We're doing some reorganizing.
Oh, here he comes.

Rob (33:17):
Listen.
Put that handsome fellow on thephone, Jeffrey, Listen.
I'm staring at a picture.
I'm staring at a picture ofyour handsome face right now.

Jeff (33:26):
I'm drinking to it.
Oh God, help you, Robbie.

Rob (33:29):
Wishing that you were here drinking with us.
Let me say there you go Pourone out.

Jeff (33:33):
I agree, I come to see you .
Oh yeah, that's true.

Rob (33:35):
But we can't hang out, then it's sad.
Alright, Matthew has a questionfor you.

Matt (33:40):
I do have a question for you.
I'm here, we're recording thepodcast right now, so this is a
live call, live.
So the episode theme let me putit this way is how did we get
beer?
Stories about how we gotdifferent drinks, how did you
get a $28 vodka last night?

Jeff (33:55):
Actually it was pretty easy.
I just walked up and said Iwanted a vodka tonic.
She said would you like Tito's?
And I named a couple others.
I said just give me thecheapest one.

Christa (34:05):
And for $28?
.

Jeff (34:07):
One vodka tonic and 43 cents.
Well, we went to see Dan.

Rob (34:13):
Oh, was it good.
Okay, okay, so you were in astadium.

Jeff (34:17):
Yeah, that's why yeah well , before we got to the mid
florida amphitheater, it poureddown rain.
I mean literally buckets.
We were walking through puddlesjust to get to the place.
Our feet are sopping wet, we'rewet and we got in there.
And what's the first thing Ithought of?
Oh, really Okay, fair the firstthing, I think everywhere and

(34:39):
beer wasn't going to cut it.
Yeah well, beer wasn't going tocut it, so I said I want to get
a vodka tonic.
Hey, that's how the whole thingwent At a concert makes a lot
more sense.
When you're at a concert.

Rob (34:49):
You got to go there or go home.

Jeff (34:54):
Yeah, yeah.

Andy (34:55):
No, actually no, think about it, it was all tonic.

Jeff (34:58):
I think they mixed it light and then they put a little
vodka on top of it, so when youtaste, it.

Matt (35:03):
it's nice and strong, and you don't even know what kind it
was, because the cheapest was$28.
In some odd sense 43.

Christa (35:12):
That's unfortunate.

Jeff (35:13):
Well, yeah, 43.
The other problem is I didn'thave my reading glasses on, so
when I signed the slip.
I didn't see it till I got anotification from my bank saying
you spent 28 and 43 cents onyour city bank card wait a
minute.

Matt (35:30):
That's the second drinking glass.
You know reading glassesrelated incident you've had
recently.
I think we need to talk aboutthe uh johnny walker.
My dad was just recently herevisiting pennsylvania he lives
in florida and reading glassesrelated incident you've had
recently.
I think we need to talk aboutthe Johnny Walker.
My dad was just recently herevisiting Pennsylvania he lives
in Florida and had a littlepicnic and he said I got Johnny
Walker black and I went to lookat it.

Jeff (35:47):
And my dad's not a big fan of Oki.

Matt (35:50):
And he didn't have his readers on and apparently picked
up the Johnny Walker doubleblack.

Rob (35:54):
Well, at least it wasn't Johnny Walker green and he was
colorblind like you.

Andy (35:59):
No, that passes through the moms.
Oh, okay, that's right.
Genetics yeah.
Science, science.

Jeff (36:04):
Science.
The funny thing is, I canunderstand if I was drinking a
lot Science.

Rob (36:11):
You just scienced right over your dad.
I did science.

Jeff (36:14):
Sorry, Sorry.
The funny thing is I canunderstand double vision if I've
been drinking a lot or notbeing able to see straight if I
was drinking a lot, but if Iwasn't drinking at all, Well,
that's fair.

Christa (36:25):
There, you go, start bringing the readers out.
We miss you.

Rob (36:29):
We wish you were here Next time you're up.
We'll schedule some time time,for sure.

Jeff (36:34):
That sounds great.
Nice talking to you guys.
You too, thanks for coming outof hiding.

Rob (36:38):
Papa Welser, ladies and gentlemen, I've got to love him.

Matt (36:41):
I'm glad that worked.
That was great that was a goodidea.

Rob (36:44):
I loved everything about that.
We went from one dad story toan actual dad, an actual dad
story.
Well, I guess there's an actualdad sitting at this table.

Andy (36:52):
Your dad's got like the classic dad voice.

Christa (36:55):
Yeah.

Andy (36:55):
You know, like the perfect classic dad pacing.

Christa (36:58):
Just staring into his eyes, right there, the dad's hat
, the dad face, there it is.

Andy (37:03):
Yeah, kind of giving me the hairy eyeball here.

Matt (37:06):
That's what I'm saying, man, my dad, when he saw that
picture, just was like that's alot of face.

Christa (37:10):
Yeah, it's a good face.
It's a good face, it's a goodface, it's a good face.

Matt (37:14):
It's a fine face, strong face.
Okay, so I've mixed up my drink.
I want everybody to swirl itaround just a little bit in a
cup, make sure it's well mixedand then take a sip and we shall
discuss God.

Rob (37:24):
I smell it.

Christa (37:27):
Yep.

Rob (37:30):
It's a lot of alcohol.

Christa (37:31):
You know, I'll tell you , it tastes okay.
It tastes okay.

Rob (37:33):
But I just know in the back of my mind oh dear god, it
tastes exactly like the thingthat it's supposed to be yes, I
feel, like, I feel, like, I feellike my, my mix is off here is
it?

Christa (37:42):
I feel like I have no communicable diseases at the
moment my mix tastes likeexactly like I think it's
supposed to.
I feel like mine, needs alittle less coke, but I'm also
not a big fan of coke, so I pickit out very easily.
It's a long island right it isLong Island.

Andy (37:56):
It does not taste like what I think a Long Island
should taste like, maybe alittle heavy on the triple sec
because it's quite citrusy.
That might be what it is.

Matt (38:03):
So I did put a little extra sour in there.
Oh, sour Okay.

Rob (38:08):
It's a little citrusy, but it tastes pretty similar to what
I was expecting it to tastelike.

Andy (38:20):
So the Long Island iced tea that I prepared, I made with
top shelf alcohol.
I didn't do shelf alcohol.
I like how you adjusted yourglasses.

Matt (38:24):
You said top shelf, yeah, so I did not do like when you go
to applebee's, let's say, andyou buy the you know four dollar
long island and they justwhatever they could scrape out
of the bar to make it that's thebest part of applebee's, yeah,
so I wanted to make a decentlong island, because the story
is not and so when this segmentof the podcast, this theme, was

(38:48):
invented, this was the storythat I've been kind of jonesing
to tell for a little god help usall, and by us I mean me.
Yeah, rob's a little nervousabout this because this is
arguably the stupidest thing Roband I ever did, and let me tell
you that is quite the pyramidto climb.

Andy (39:03):
I did just watch Rob's eyes go.
That one, that one, no, no, notthat one.
It was like the Terminatorgoing through the screen of
options.

Jeff (39:13):
And then immediately going .

Christa (39:15):
Oh dear God, no.

Matt (39:19):
I know where this is going and I'm very concerned.
So this was definitely early20s, 21, 22, so a million years
ago.
And you can stop now.
She's not wrong.

Christa (39:29):
You guys were all like, oh, is that even good?
You guys have what is this like25 years For you guys 18 years
ago.

Rob (39:36):
18 years ago, you didn't have to say that 18 years ago 18
long years ago I was 10.

Christa (39:46):
I was 10 years old.

Matt (39:48):
Before Krista hatched in the late Cretaceous.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no Inall seriousness.

Rob (39:54):
If we were 22, the math of that would be 17 years ago.

Matt (40:00):
Yes, it would yeah.

Rob (40:02):
And I think we were 22.

Matt (40:04):
Yeah, the way that this occurred.
If you've listened to thispodcast before, you know what
institution of?

Christa (40:09):
Yeah, if you listened to this before.
Why are you back?

Matt (40:15):
You know what institution of higher learning I attended,
so I'm going to leave it at that, before I put all the
information into one story.
They're number one.
The way that this storyoccurred was that Rob and I were
drinking at a bar that we'vementioned before called
Wolfendale's.

Rob (40:29):
It wasn't just us though.

Matt (40:30):
No, there was another gentleman there.
I'm going to let the othergentleman remain nameless,
that's fine, I will referencehim several times.

Rob (40:36):
No, I'm going to let the other gentleman remain nameless.
That's fine, but I willreference him several times.

Matt (40:38):
No, there was a group of gentlemen.
Yes, A group Gentlemen isstrong.
There was a group of people Yep, there you go.
So we were drinking and ithappened to be $1.
Long Island Iced Tea Night.
And it was also $1 shot of someindiscriminate alcohol-made
substance.
No, those were $ dollars, thosewere two dollars.
Yes, they were.
Well, I'm glad you remembersomething from this evening.

Rob (41:00):
I remember many things Dollar.

Matt (41:02):
Long Island iced tea night Twelve dollars later.
It was time for me to leave andI know that Rob and the other
gentleman that was with us hasspent a similar amount of money.

Rob (41:12):
Well, hold on.
Why was it time for you toleave?
If you're going to, if you goon.

Matt (41:23):
Were you drunk in public, oh no, that was that night,
wasn't it?
That was the night.
Oh now, who doesn't remember?

Rob (41:30):
Matt comes out and he says, guys, we need to leave and I
said what's wrong.
And he said well, I may or maynot have gotten sick, and I
didn't quite make it to thetoilet.

Jeff (41:38):
So if somebody finds that out, we're going to get kicked
out.

Matt (41:48):
So, we need to.
Yeah, yeah, so continue, justso you know, this story doesn't
get any better.
So we're leaving the bar andI'm feeling moderately better at
that point.

Christa (41:51):
Well, there's a reason for that it was only like seven
dollars I threw up.

Matt (41:58):
So we're making our way back to my apartment and as we
are, if you had to guess, right,how?

Rob (42:05):
how far do you think of a walk it would have been if we
went straight there?
We'll discuss it, okay.

Matt (42:11):
Okay, as we're going, rob, sober as ever, decides to
leapfrog several parking meters.
Not sober, not at all, and he'sleapfrogging and we're
conversating and laughing andall of a sudden Rob hits one
crotch first.

Andy (42:25):
Square to the beans Exactly what you expect.

Matt (42:29):
Now, the amazing part about this was that the parking
meter that he hit actuallytilted forward when he hit it
that way.
That's right To which.

Rob (42:37):
I replied.

Christa (42:40):
That's right, ladies.
Sorry, he's taken.

Andy (42:44):
We all watched the Olympics this summer.

Christa (42:46):
Olympic sport Leaprogging parking meters.

Jeff (42:49):
Pole vaulting.
I was going to say that Poorpole vaulter.

Christa (42:51):
Oh dude, he's legend, though he's legend for that.

Andy (42:55):
The only person to lose and win at the same time.
Oh yes, Truly.

Matt (42:58):
So Rob hits this parking meter crotch first.
It leans forward and in myinfinite drunken wisdom I say,
hey, that would look great in myapartment.

Rob (43:08):
Yes, but first in my anger.
Wait, that is not where I wasexpecting this to go.

Christa (43:14):
Have you not heard this story.

Andy (43:15):
I have not heard this story.

Jeff (43:17):
I know this story as many times as we have hung out.

Andy (43:20):
I've never heard this story.
No, oh, I'm so excited.
Oh, I'm so excited now, okay,okay, yeah, oh, I'm so excited,
oh, I'm so excited now.
Okay, okay, yeah, I know thisstory.

Rob (43:25):
It hits me in the crotch it hits me in the crotch and I'm
angry so it's kind of bent, butI, Spartan, kicked the thing,
Like you know this is Spartan,which had come out like a year
before, and I kicked it and thewhole thing like flops even more
Right and Matt goes rip her outyeah, it's at that point that
we realize that this parkingmeter is not cemented in the

(43:47):
ground.

Matt (43:47):
It's in a pvc pipe, like it's just there.
They were apparently going tocome back a couple days later
and cement it in, so it wasbrand new yep outstanding.
So rob heaves this thing up andI say let's take it to my
apartment.

Rob (43:59):
So rob, well, and as I heave it up, I do the obligatory
sand people over top of my head.
Yes, yes, there's a fewimportant notes here.

Matt (44:11):
The first one is rob and the gentleman that was with us
are both larger fellows.
I am five foot seven.

Rob (44:18):
They are both closer to or over six feet tall, we were with
an entire group of people, but,but you were talking about the
three of us that wind up goingseparate.

Matt (44:29):
They pick up the parking meter and it is not light.

Jeff (44:30):
This is a change-filled parking meter.

Matt (44:33):
This is not the digital swipe cards, kiddies.
This is when you just have toput a freaking quarter in the
parking meter.

Christa (44:37):
Is the bottom of it sharp?
No, it's just a roundgalvanized metal pole.
I've heard this story before,but I never thought to ask if it
was sharp at the bottom.

Jeff (44:48):
That you could rail something through with it.

Rob (44:49):
Probably better off that it was not.
That's what I mean.
It was inside a PVC pole.

Matt (44:53):
Right, so it was just in there and it was at this
juncture.

Andy (44:57):
So if the bottom was sharp I would totally just walk
around town jamming in the grassnext to somebody's car Like ha
ha, you didn't pay you gotta pay, yeah real.

Matt (45:07):
So it was at this juncture that Rob asked me a very
important question, and that washow far is your apartment?
My response to Rob was twoblocks.
Now, I knew that was completeand utter bullshit and if I told
him the truth, he was not goingto haul his parking meter.

Andy (45:21):
Four blocks later Eight blocks across town.

Matt (45:25):
It was not going to happen , so I said it's two blocks.
So Rob and our friend decided,started to schlep the parking
meter, schlepping, now Schlep itMe, understanding that they are
drunk and I can play this alittle.
We go two blocks, rob goes howmuch farther is it?
And I say two blocks, so we gotwo blocks.
Rob says how much farther twoblocks.
So at this point we run into aproblem.

Rob (45:45):
No, no, no, no, no, wait a second.
At that point he goes twoblocks and I say, hey, you said
two blocks originally, we'vegone almost six blocks now.
Where is your actual apartment?
And he goes.
Honestly, I just wanted to seehow long it took you to get the
car to stay.
But now that you're on to me, Isuppose we can go to my actual

(46:10):
apartment.

Christa (46:10):
It's probably three to four blocks from here I suppose
now we can go back home, dude atleast you were walking in the
right direction.

Rob (46:17):
The one thing that you're not also mentioning is that
every time a car would walk by,we would drop it on the ground
and keep walking.
That's and then we would haveto come back to it, that's's
true To get it.
So I was getting tired of allthis, sure Go on.

Matt (46:29):
So we weren't drunk enough to disregard the laws that went
with parking meter theft.
We were aware that what we weredoing was wrong, so let's put
it that way.
We knew.
So we're carrying this parkingmeter and parking lot has a
concrete divider down the middleand it's split into two pieces
and for whatever reason thisparking lot, you cannot go from

(46:51):
side A to side B.
It's not possible.
So the left side of the parkinglot will come into play in a
minute.
The right side of the parkinglot is where we are, so we walk
down the divider into the rightside.

Rob (47:01):
Well, and there was also a six foot hedge around the
entirety of the lot Large hedge,so like we were not visible
from the street, which I thoughtwas brilliant, Because I was
like, oh, if nobody could see usin the street, we don't have to
keep putting this thing down.

Matt (47:17):
Go on.
Sorry, so important to notethat I let us there and I was
drunk.
That's very important.
So we get into this parking lotand we're walking across and we
can see the edge and we see thehedge.
So we'll think we'll just goover that hedge.
And I know my apartment at thatpoint is like a block and a
half.
We're fine.
All of a sudden, behind us, redand blue lights.

Christa (47:34):
Sure, whoop, whoop, that's the sound of the police.

Matt (47:37):
That was exactly what we heard.
That was what we saw.
As we turned around, werealized that that the cruiser
was on the other side of the lot, which meant to get to us.
He couldn't drive straight, hehad to go out one side.
He had to come across fromwhere he was out one side, come
back up then get out of the car,then find us.
This is where the grace of Godoccurs.

Rob (47:56):
So, as we are on that side of the lot, you want to talk
about the Olympics?

Matt (48:02):
Let me describe this scene .

Rob (48:03):
I love hearing this story from his perspective because I
have a very particularperspective, sure, so we'll let
him tell it first.
Sure, sure, yes.

Matt (48:12):
So in front of me I watch two large gentlemen heave a
parking meter into the bushesoff to the right and take off
like the starting pistol in the100 meter for the Olympics just
went off and I got to tellanybody that's listening.
You have to understand that Robis 5'11".
At the time I would guess 180pounds.

Rob (48:31):
Oh God, I was heavier than that.
Yeah, but yeah.

Matt (48:34):
Rob would have passed Usain Bolt and lapped him in the
100 meter.
Like I can't tell you how fastthis man run, he was just I've
never run that fast in my life.

Rob (48:44):
Pop of cartoon smoke.

Matt (48:47):
And I've never run that fast in my life.
Pop of cartoon smoke and Robwas history.
The other guy that was with usround about six foot a little
over six foot Six.
One, six, one, yeah, two, 60?
There you go.
Okay, he's a big boy that mightbe a little aggressive, I think
a little less.
I don't know, I'm guessing Tookoff as fast as Rob took off,
like.
I'm guessing took off as fastas Rob took off, like when I say

(49:07):
these two guys, I mean justpoof, sonic, boom gone.
And then I'm like I should runtoo.
So I start running and what Isee in front of me is Rob go up
in the air and then disappear.
I see the gentleman that is infront of me, just pop through
like a Mario pipe there.

Andy (49:28):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, just boom, boom, boom.
The end of the parking lot.

Matt (49:31):
Rob's gone, the gentleman that is in front of me.
I realize that he has nowgrabbed something that is in
midair that I cannot see becauseI'm drunk and nearsighted, and
it's dark.

Jeff (49:42):
So I don't know what's going on.

Matt (49:43):
And it's dark, but I see him kick his legs out in a very
like Olympian.
I'm getting over this hurdletype thing, Like I mean 10 out
of 10 for style points.
He disappears and I'm like,what am I going to?
And as this, that's literallythe thought, what is I?
Hit a four and a half footchain link fence chest first

(50:08):
Hard enough that I upend myselfover it and roll down the hill
on the other side.
I mean, and I was running fulltilt like this, this was as fast
as my marching band self couldpropel on my feet.
I hit this thing.
I roll over now as I'm falling.
I'm thinking I'm going to die,I'm gonna end up in jail I can't
believe you never heard thisstory.
I slide, I realized that I'mheaded downhill, so when I
cleared the fence, I'd be moreimpressed if you were going

(50:30):
uphill.
Well, when I cleared the fence,I realized I'm still falling,
which means there's a drop onthe other side.
I slide down knees and elbowsonto concrete and I still have
if you look at my elbows rightthere, those little red dots are
from this story because I hitand I slid and I'm bleeding
immediately over concrete and Ilook at my one friend who's

(50:50):
running away from me, lookingback like I'm willing to
sacrifice him and I, I lean upand I say it's his fault, anyhow
I say help me, help me, help meup.
And he looks at me and goes fuckyou, you're on your own now.

Andy (51:03):
In the meantime, help me drunky one kenobi.
What, yeah, when I clear thatfence.

Matt (51:08):
When I clear that fence, he is nowhere in the same zip
code that I am.
At this point, we finally makeit back to my apartment and rob
is sitting on this staircaseoutside my door going hey guys,
what took you so long?

Rob (51:22):
I am bleeding it from all four corners of my body.
Let me tell you, I am bleedingfrom all four corners of my body
.

Matt (51:26):
Let me tell you, I am bleeding from all four corners
of my body, and my favorite partabout this was that Can we?

Rob (51:31):
pause Because I would like to tell my end.

Matt (51:37):
I'll let you tell Before we converge again.
Rob said it wasn't a hill.

Andy (51:42):
It was a speed bump, you just tripped.
You just suck In case.

Matt (51:48):
So I mentioned their heights.
I am 5'7".
I am not a tall fellow.
My favorite part about thisstory was in the student
newspaper that Monday.
This happened on a Friday.
I opened it up and there's anarticle that says looking for
three males that stole a parkingmeter and it was from exactly
the block where we took it.
All are over 6' two,approximately 250 pounds, last

(52:10):
spotted this time of night andwe went back the next day and
they had taken the parking meterfrom where we threw it off the
side of that parking lot and putit back to where it was
supposed to be.
Sure, so yeah, rob, yourversion, please.
Okay.

Rob (52:21):
Okay, so we're arguing that a car rolls into the parking
lot Okay, just headlights.
And Matt and the other person Ialmost said his name, matt and
the other person are arguingover whether or not we can keep
putting the meter down or not asevery car comes by, or if we
should just stop caring becausewe need to keep going, at which

(52:44):
point I have already laid my enddown and I see the red and blue
go on and I run straightthrough the bushes.
I'm sprinting as fast as I can.
I keep looking back to see ifthey're coming.
I don't see them.
I don't see them, I don't seethem.
I look forward.
Holy crap, there's a fence,okay, and I was like this is

(53:05):
freedom or incarceration in mybrain.
So I hurdle this thing in asingle bound and as I'm coming
down, I realize that theopposite side of the fence is
like a very sharp decline.
So I go into a controlled roleand I parkour that shit.

Jeff (53:25):
I pop straight up Drunk ass park.

Rob (53:26):
I pop, I pop straight up.
Trunk ass parkour.
Listen, I pop straight up, I'msprinting, I run through another
bush.
I almost run into a lovelycouple.
I'm like it's the cops andthey're like fuck you, dude.
And I'm like, okay, cool.
And then I'm sprinting and Irealized know where his

(53:49):
apartment is.
But luckily for me in indiana,pennsylvania, at the time there
was only one parking deck.
Yep, oh, it was the talleststructure in the entire area
probably still is, and it washalf a block from his apartment.
So I was like if I run towardsthe parking deck I'll find the
apartment.
So I run towards the parkingdeck, I I get to the apartment,
I knock on the door.
I'm trying to like open it.
Everybody's at a different kegparty so I'm like crap, I can't

(54:11):
get in, I need to hide.
So I'm hiding in this opener ofstairwell waiting for them and
I'm like where are they?
Did they get caught?
Like what is happening, it feltlike an eternity.
And then I hear Ron dude, likewhat is happening, it felt like
an eternity.
And then I hear Ron dude and Ipeer out from behind the
stairwell and I see them comingup the road.
I'm like, oh, thank God, mattthrows the key in, we get into

(54:34):
his apartment.
We slam the door behind us.
Everybody's breathing heavily.
I look at both of them.
They're both covered in blood.

Matt (54:39):
Covered.
I was bleeding a lot, not alittle bit.
There's a lot of blood comingout of me.

Rob (54:44):
Matt's clothes are completely ripped apart and he's
just bleeding everywhere.
Our other friend's bleedingfrom his elbows and I was like
what is going on?

Andy (54:52):
Did you guys not know how to tuck and roll?

Christa (54:54):
Bob's like oh, you didn't clear the fence did you.

Matt (54:57):
You saved it over here.

Rob (54:59):
The sound barrier on the way, our other friend.
I say what happened?
He goes.
Well, no, no, no, I cleared thefence but I didn't realize that
there was a hill and I trippedand I fell into the tree.
Matt goes, I did not clear thefence, good God.
So, anyway, we decide that thebest course of action is to put

(55:21):
on you have the after story.
Yes, we decided the best courseof action is to put on hoodies
and sunglasses.
Mind you, it's two in themorning, okay, hoodies and
sunglasses.

Jeff (55:32):
We closed that bar.

Rob (55:34):
Hoodies and sunglasses and walk to the keg party that
everybody else is at.
Establish an alibi.

Christa (55:40):
Matt, we've been here the whole time.
What do you mean?
Matt Still bleeding?

Rob (55:44):
Matt, in his injured state, is still bleeding so I'm, I'm
fireman, carrying him over myshoulder oh my god and I kick
open the door and I yell medicand I just throw him into the
party he's bleeding through hisjeans they left.

Matt (56:00):
They left me on the sofa and the best part was the
person's apartment that we wentto knew me really well and he
comes over.
He looks at me and goes don'tbleed on my couch.
And then he walks away and I'mlike that's all I get.
And he comes back with twobeers, just two full cellar cups
.
He just gives them to me.
He goes you just don't move,you stay there, drink these.

Rob (56:17):
Yep, and then we had a great night.

Matt (56:22):
Yeah, the night did not end at that point it continued.

Rob (56:25):
So, we tell everybody the story, yeah, and the next
morning we decide to go back andlook for the parking meter
where we disposed of it, in thebushes.

Andy (56:33):
Yep.

Rob (56:33):
And here's the kicker If any one of us was sober, we
didn't have to deal with thefence at all.
We could have run straight downthis alley.
But I was running like left orright to left and jumped this
fence for no reason at all.
And those idiots just followedme because as they came out of
the bush they saw me go over thefence.
They were like we're going togo that way.

(56:54):
We didn't have to deal with anyof that.

Matt (56:56):
All I saw and you and I have had this conversation I saw
my parents faces in my head andall I knew was run or you're
going to die, Dude why do youthink that I was faster than
you've ever seen me be in myentire life?

Rob (57:11):
I know I was like my parents can't find out about
this at all, and now it's public, so that's fun.

Christa (57:17):
Hi mom and dad.

Rob (57:19):
Love you guys.
I'm a responsible adult now.
Thank you very much.
Why are you listening to?
This Stop listening right now.
Hey, to a clean record.
Hey, cheers.
I can't toast to that.

Andy (57:30):
I don't got it, you don't got it, I don't have a clean.
Well, my record's been expungednow, but hey to expunging.

Matt (57:36):
To expunge Once again what .
What just happened.
So Is there here, or are wejust getting in?
We're just diving in.

Andy (57:43):
Because the thing is, I've always been a dumbass and I
guess most people have thatfilter that says like hey,
stupid, don't do that.
I never really had that, sothere wasn't much difference
between me being drunk andstupid and regular and stupid.
So, me and one of my friendsdecided we were joking.

(58:06):
God, this was back in highschool.
Actually, it was months, justmonths before I went.
I shipped to basic training, meand my buddy.
We were joking about who hadthe faster car.

Christa (58:20):
Oh no, I had a.

Andy (58:22):
Ford tourist station wagon .

Christa (58:24):
First of all, you did not, which was a great car by
the way, good car my aunt usedto have one of those she.

Rob (58:32):
Emery Emery.

Christa (58:33):
I know her had a.

Andy (58:35):
Dodge Neon.
She wins that round.
Not a great car, no, butSmaller.
So we kept joking about who hadthe better shitty car Right.
So we kept joking about who hadthe better shitty car right.
And this all came to a headwhen, in an abandoned parking
lot, we decided to jokinglystreet race Jokingly Like

(58:55):
neither one of us got above fivemiles an hour.
It was completely joking aroundright Abandoned parking lot,
Nobody else around.
Cop was bored and saw us.

Christa (59:05):
Oh no, Speed racing at five miles an hour.

Andy (59:08):
We got charged with disorderly conduct in lieu of
street racing.

Rob (59:12):
Dude, are you kidding me?

Andy (59:14):
Thankfully they didn't give me the full street racing
charge.
That was like full blown lossof license.

Rob (59:19):
Goodbye license yeah.

Andy (59:21):
But I got disorderly conduct in lieu of street racing
.
Oh no, that sucks.
And because you cannot go tobasic training with any charges
pending, I had to plead guiltyand pay the fine and move on
with my life, or I would havenot been able to go to basic
training.

Christa (59:37):
Look at you now, sir.
You know what Girl getsomething better to do Get a
life sir.
Honestly be so for real rightnow Five miles an hour.

Matt (59:45):
I mean you could have gone after the guys with a parking
meter.
Yeah, no.

Andy (59:50):
It was like total joking around.
Literally nobody was around, sothere was no chance of anybody
getting hurt.

Matt (59:56):
I'll give myself this because I enjoyed the Long
Island and I'm just handing themout like Pez today.

Rob (01:00:01):
Yeah, stellar sin you know, you could have let one of us
give that to you.
It would have felt lessself-serving.
Yeah, it was less self-serving.

Andy (01:00:09):
I can do it again.
I'll say it was tasty.
It's not what I think a LongIsland should taste like
Interesting.

Matt (01:00:14):
Well, the funny part is I made it with like top shelf and
great Like I made it with topshelf alcohol Maybe that's the
mess up, shitty Long.

Christa (01:00:23):
Island.
One time when I was in collegeI went to a Long Island night at
a local bar with my friend, whoI guess I shouldn't name.

Rob (01:00:34):
There's a lot of that going around today.

Christa (01:00:36):
That night ended with her throwing up in front of the
chapel of our school.
I only remember being like no,not on God's front lawn.

Rob (01:00:48):
This episode is now called God's front lawn.
Thank you very much for this.

Matt (01:00:51):
Not on God's front lawn On God's front lawn.

Andy (01:00:54):
Communion gone wrong, oh my God yeah right.
It was a funny night.

Christa (01:00:58):
It was a funny night.
I couldn't even finish the longisland that I had.
I had to hand it off to adifferent friend because I was
like I don't know where she wentand I gotta go find her ass.

Matt (01:01:12):
So this is yours now and my other friend I handed it to
was like cool, see you on Monday.
I was like, see you on Monday,girl.
I appreciate how you were veryconcerned about your friend's
well-being and you weren'twaiting at the top of the
staircase.
Yeah, he was alive she was.

Christa (01:01:21):
She threw up in the bar as well, so I thought she was
gonna walk into traffic.
So I was like I should go findher, because the bar we were on
was on a semi-busy street.
So I was like if she walks intothe street she's dead.
I gotta go find her.
And she did cross the street byherself and walked half a block
to God's front lawn you knowwhat, friends, I'll do the final
toast of the episode here toGod's front lawn to God's front

(01:01:43):
lawn.

Jeff (01:01:43):
there we go, Bling, bling, bling bling, bling, bling.

Rob (01:01:47):
We'll see you next time.

Matt (01:01:50):
Stellar set.

Rob (01:01:58):
This podcast is a production of Unfiltered Studios
.
If you would like to know moreabout joining Unfiltered Studios
, please visit our website atunfpodcom for more information
visit our website at unfpodcomfor more information.

Matt (01:02:09):
This episode's boozy quote comes from the great comedian
George Carlin, who said onetequila, two tequila, three
tequila.
Floor On social media.
Please like, follow and pushall the buttons for us.
That's Matt and Friends DTU.
At Facebook, instagram Threadsand TikTok For more information
about the podcast, as well aslinks to our merch store, social
media and all the places youcan listen to us.
Visit our websitemattandfriendsdtucom.

(01:02:31):
That's mattandfriendsdtucom.
Thank you again for listeningto Matt and Friends Drink the
Universe.

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HDWGB - "Merry Monks, Drinks with Dad, and a Parking Meter Heist"

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}HDWGB - "Merry Monks, Drinks with Dad, and a Parking Meter Heist"