December 31, 2023 • 38 mins
As the year comes to a full circle, Imagine standing on the brink of a new year, the bittersweet taste of farewell on your lips as you reflect on lessons learned and challenges overcome.
Shifting gears to the digital realm, my dating escapades highlight not just the laughs and the letdowns but also the critical need for honesty and setting firm boundaries. It's a chapter from my life that underscores the rollercoaster of emotions involved in seeking connection and the triumphant power of self-respect.
Lastly, we toast to the spirit of love that should infuse the entire year, not just the holiday season. As I recount the bittersweet emotions of adapting to family moves and evolving traditions, we're reminded of the resilience and creativity that come from such changes. So, grab your comforting cup of choice and join us for this intimate session, as we wrap up the year with reflections meant to heal, inspire, and warm your soul.
Do you have a topic you'd like me to discuss or something to say about the episode? Email me at: inspirationswithroshonda@gmail.com
Follow the show on FB to see what topics are coming up next:
FB: https://www.facebook.com/mattersoftheheartwithro
Sharing is Caring; share the podcast with family and friends! Listen on one of these stations or wherever your favorite music and podcasts reside:
Apple Podcast: https://buff.ly/3nBMGnp
Spotify: https://buff.ly/30oAmO8
iHeart Radio: https://buff.ly/30NuvCw
BuzzSprout: https://buff.ly/3CGvK3z
Suppose you like the episodes and need to hear something more.
I'm on YTube! Inspirations with Roshonda! (@inspowithro)
Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
Intro and Show Music:
Music: Empty Mind
Musician: Lofi_hour
URL: https://pixabay.com/music/empty-mind-118973/
Intermission Music By:
Music: This is life
Musician: Xuxiao
As always I appreciate you so much for listening, Thanks for following my heart!
Follow me on the following sites:
IG: @justsuminspiration2u
YTube: Inspirations with Roshonda!
TikTok: @inspowithro
Email: inspirationswithroshonda@gmail.com
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/roshondabcreative
"My Husband Chose the Homewrecker Over Me! Now What?! A Guide to Rebuilding, Discovering, and Moving Forward After Infidelity and Divorce!
By Yolanda Randolph & Roshonda N. Blackmon
Available Now! https://amzn.to/3HoCQxX
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Matters of the Heart.
Podcast with Rishanda SundayThoughts episode edition.
Sunday Thoughts are storiesI've experienced in life and I
relate those stories to God'sWord in a way where you can
understand.
It's never about preaching, buta discovery and trying to find
God's voice and pick up a fewlessons to be learned in our
daily lives.
This Sunday, let's take time toreflect and think about those
(00:24):
experiences.
Most messages are often hiddenin plain sight and everything
that happens to us, whether goodor bad, hey, everyone, welcome
back.
I bet you say welcome back,girl.
Where have you been?
Okay, I have been around.
I have been around.
Listen, this is Rishanda, justin case you forgot who I was.
(00:46):
Listen, and if the beginningcredits didn't anyway, you're
probably wondering where haveyou been?
What's been going on?
I know I said I was coming backwith a podcast, some episodes
and all this stuff.
Listen when I say life happened.
Life definitely happened.
It kind of put a brown paperbag over my head and honey took
(01:09):
me in an alley and I have beenlocked up.
Okay, it's just been one ofthose things.
You know how sometimes you justyou have really good intentions
to like do something I mean likereally good intentions, but
sometimes your heart intentionsdon't always, they don't always
play out like you planned.
(01:31):
So I thought what better timeto come on, because it has been
a lot happening.
Listen, we're about to embarkon a new year, like a brand new
year.
Can you believe that?
It seemed like it was justyesterday, it was January, and I
closed my eyes and opened itagain, and here it is December
(01:51):
and we're about to go into abrand new year.
That's just how quick, like,everything I feel like has been
going this year.
So you might say what's goingon, girl, listen, this is
unscripted.
I'm just coming so we can havelike a little chat with a whole
lot of intentionality, you know.
So it's going to be a littlebit of this, a little bit of
that, but it's going to be kindof like a wrap up of the year.
(02:15):
There's some things that I'velearned, a lot of things that
I've experienced, and just, hey,we're just going to have a talk
.
Is it okay, like, if we likehave a little conversation,
because that's what's going on.
So you know, get your popcorn.
You know, if you just ain't gotnothing to do today and you
like, hey, I just want to turnsomething on and listen to it.
(02:36):
Hey, you might get somethingout of this podcast, because I
got a couple of tips.
You know that I've learned thatmaybe can help you, you know,
especially as we go into a brandnew year.
So, hold on, get your tea, getyour popcorn, get your chocolate
or whatever.
Whatever floats your boat, okay, and come back and let's just,
let's just talk, all right, soI'll be back, okay.
(03:16):
So here we are.
Listen, I don't really plan forthis podcast to be very long
because I really don't want tobore you, but at the same time
you know it's just there are twothings about going into a new
year.
It can be very exciting and itcan be very scary.
Exciting because January islike a new beginning for
(03:38):
everybody.
Okay, everybody, everybody.
Okay because everybody goingback to the gym, all right, if
you, like me, you don't have agym membership and you ain't
been in a year, okay, we'regoing to fix that this year, but
anyway, so it's like it's a newbeginning for everybody.
It's almost like a reset.
You know to just kind of dothings different, do it over.
(04:00):
Hey, if at first you don'tsucceed, try and try again.
Right, and for some of us wetry and try again every January.
But you know.
But it can also be scarybecause you just never know what
the year is going to hold.
You know, you don't know.
You know once the new year comein, or once January you know,
(04:21):
comes in January 1st you justdon't know from that point on,
from January 1st to December31st, what's going to happen,
what's going to take place, youknow, and whatever, so that it
can be a little scary.
So you know.
Hence 2023 for me.
You know it came in, I had allthese, you know, good ambitions
(04:44):
and goals and things.
I really don't like makingresolutions because you know, I
mean, you started January thefirst and, honey, most of those
resolutions are out the door byJanuary the 28th.
Okay, it's like before Januaryis over.
Okay, two weeks in and it'sover, resolutions out the window
.
But so I just kind of like tryto keep you know in touch with
(05:07):
myself or what I'm doing andmaking sure that I'm doing that
well, or keeping track of, youknow, maybe, some things that I
want to do.
But I have to say this year forme has been very surprising.
It has been very sad, it hasbeen an eye opener and I learned
(05:28):
some things along the way.
So I kind of want to talk aboutthat.
I'm just kind of kind of dothis in spurts.
You know we're going to talkabout death, we're going to talk
about dating, we're going totalk about career changes and
closing doors and family changesand being intentional and all
that good stuff, except for thedeath.
That wasn't great.
(05:49):
So, you know, january came in.
It was great, and I know thelast podcast that I did before I
took like a hiatus was in Mayand I was talking about mental
health.
How did I know that I wouldreally need that and I should
have taken more than threemonths off?
Because I called myself takingthree months off, you know, just
(06:12):
taking a break, becausesometimes you can kind of get
overwhelmed with doing things.
You know you put too much onyour plate and next thing, you
know you overwhelmed and it'slike, okay, I need to let some
things go, I need to take amental break from this, or you
know, kind of let this go orstep back from this, and I
called myself doing that, and soI was like, you know, I'm gonna
(06:34):
come back in September.
Well, september didn't happenand I ended up coming back in
October, you know and whatever.
And I was like you know what?
We're going to end this yearwith a bang and all this stuff,
and I feel like I got banged.
I ended up, you know, a littlebit.
However, the year didn't?
It's not leaving with it's.
(06:56):
With this case of, you know,bad news, I felt like I got bad
news after bad news after badnews on this year.
I know the podcast that I'verecorded in May, if I'm not
mistaken, I think I had justfound out that my cousin had
passed away and that was verydevastating, that was.
That was very hurtful To findout, and she was very young and
(07:17):
she left two children behind,and so, you know, I needed a
break, you know, from that.
You know, whatever and I'mgonna be very transparent I
didn't talk to my cousin likethat.
You know how it is.
You grow up with your cousinsor you grow up with people, and
then, once you guys get acertain age, it's kind of like
you go your separate ways, youknow.
(07:37):
And so it was kind of like that, like I hadn't talked to her
and I don't know when, the lasttime I think I had heard
something about her.
My mom was talking to her andwas trying to, you know, kind of
help her with some life.
You know issues and some lifechanges that she was going
through at the time, but I hadnot personally Talked to her.
(07:59):
It just hurt me for two reasonsbecause, one, she was very
young, she was like early 30sand Two, you know, she had two
children and I feel like shejust got taken away way too, way
too early.
And so you know, when timeslike that come, sometimes you
wish that.
You know you kind of had areached out or you kind of had a
(08:22):
, you know, talked a little more, maybe if something you could
have said or did to changesomebody's mind or their
perceptions about things.
And you know and Sometimes itdoesn't matter what you do with
what you say, you're just, youwon't ever change anybody's mind
.
Once their mind is made upabout something, that's pretty
(08:43):
much it.
And so you know she was justthat person.
But you know God rest her soul.
So after that, up on the higheight is in the break that I
took, you know it seemed likemore deaths just kept coming.
You know, one of our belovedpastors from our church passed
away.
That was very hurtful, you knowshe was going through a
(09:05):
Terrible sickness and you knowwe was believing God that she
was gonna get well, butUnfortunately that did not
happen, and so you know that wasvery hurtful and honestly, it
was very taxing On the church aswell.
So you know it was, it was just, it was just a really, a really
sad time.
(09:26):
That was in June and then, comeAugust, you know, my sister
passed away, and that washurtful.
I think that was like I Don'teven know what to say about that
.
That was, that was.
Words can't describe what thatwas.
(09:46):
You know, we had just, you know, reunited with one another,
like in 21, and so I'm gratefulto God for the Year and some
months that I got a chance toget to know her.
It was something about her,though that it's just.
Even when we were kids, when Ifound out that she was my sister
(10:09):
, I just always wanted I feltlike I always had this
attachment to her, or I alwayswanted to Us to talk, and I kind
of hate that.
Life is life, you know, and wejust lived in two different
states and you know I reachedout to her one time before when
(10:29):
my nephews, her sons, were likereally, really small.
They were like in daycare, Ibelieve, and or maybe early
school, you know, because ourkids are like kind of
back-to-back in ages but um, andwe kind of lost touch because I
moved and I just hate that Ididn't.
I didn't get in contact withher sooner, but I thank God that
(10:50):
I got in contact with her whenI did and you know, and she just
reached out, you know, becauseI had reached out to my dad.
For those of you that don'tknow, I just reunited with my
biological father after 28 years, in 2021.
So it's like when I reunitedwith him, then I also, you know
that's when she came about andshe just reached out to me and
(11:13):
Just started talking.
And you know, we had some somepretty good conversations and
she texted me all the time.
You know, I still got her textmessages and stuff, but Last
year, you know, when she told meshe was sick, it just hurt me
to my heart.
You know.
It's one of those things whereyou pray and you like God, if
you don't do nothing else in theworld for me, do do this one
(11:35):
thing.
Like, do this one thing.
If you don't do nothing else,do this one thing, god, and you
know, and I'll serve you forever.
Not that I don't serve Godbecause I do, I am a believer
but it's like you know, you justyou just want people to live.
You know you just want peopleto be healed, like you don't
want nobody to be sick or youknow, or whatever.
(11:56):
Hopefully, you get what I'msaying, but it was one of those
things, and I prayed for her,got my church to pray for her,
got the intercessory team topray for her, the prayer team
and all this stuff and ComeAugust, she passed away, and
that was hurtful, and I got anopportunity to go back to my
(12:20):
hometown and to to go to herfuneral and and everything, and
it was just a really, really sad, sad time, and it kind of did
something to me.
It really got me to thinking,though, that you know, she had
just Like really came into herdream job, which is being a
(12:41):
teacher and on teaching kids,and, from my understanding, she
was really, really good at it.
You know my sister was smart.
You know she had degrees andand all this stuff, and just
came into her dream job.
It didn't really get a chanceto, um To.
You know, I have the years in it, like I think she would have
(13:03):
wanted to have, and that was thesad thing, and so you know, it
just makes you realize that lifeis just so, so short and we
have to take, um, we have totake one day at a time, but
enjoy your life, do the thingsthat you feel like you can't do
and that you know that you will.
(13:24):
It's my age, you know, or youknow well that it's too late for
that it's I know, and I tellpeople it's never too late for
anything.
As long as you got breath inyour body, okay, it's not too
late.
Okay, as long as they notrolling you down the middle
aisle of a church to sit you infront of all these people that
probably you wouldn't have knownif you was living.
(13:45):
You know it's not too late,it's not too late to do anything
.
Quit putting things off to thelast minute and I'm preaching to
the choir here, like, quitputting things off to the last
minute, just do it.
You know, um, get it done.
You know, and so it's just youknow I did learn something, um
(14:08):
other than that from her funeral, and that's just.
You know, enjoy life.
Enjoy, like, travel more.
You know, do more and andwhatever, because you just never
, never know, you never know.
And speaking of never know, soI did get mine just off to a
lighter subject.
I did get my chance into datingthis summer.
(14:31):
Okay, thought I would try.
After three years I thought Iwould try the dating circuit and
get back out there and putmyself online and stuff.
Even after I said, um, I wasjust gonna wait, I wasn't gonna
try to do the dating thingbecause I just suck at it.
But I was like you know what,I'm just gonna do it, I'm just
(14:52):
gonna do it.
It was more of a practice forme, um, just to see you know,
because sometimes when you'vebeen single for a long time and
you haven't been on a date andyou don't know, when it's kind
of hard to kind of gauge likewhat, what, what's out here,
like what's going on, what's thelanguage, what's the lingo, you
know what you, you missing out,you know, and sometimes I I
(15:17):
will say this you need like thatinteraction with with a guy or
with a woman, just to see youknow.
Okay, am I kind of sharpen upyour, your skills a little bit?
Kind of dust, you know, dustyourself off a little bit.
You know, um, you know andwhatever.
But I tell you what this datingcircuit has not changed?
(15:38):
It has not changed.
People are not who they say.
They are online, you know, andyou could have the greatest
intention about getting onlineand being this wonderful person
and presenting yourself to thesepeople.
You know, I mean, I'm alwaystrue about who I am, okay, but
(15:59):
everybody else isn't like that.
So I got online and I'm, youknow, I met a couple of guys and
, you know, had some some okayconversations, but it was this
one guy.
I'm the type of person likethis.
You know, if you're not looking, I wasn't looking to be online
like that because I don't likegoing through after guy after
guy after guy, just doingwhatever.
(16:20):
It was this one guy.
He was like, you know, he hadbeen on there for a year.
I had just been on there likemaybe two weeks, three weeks.
He was like, hey, you know, hefelt, I felt like he was really
interested in me.
So we kind of, you know, talkedand, um, you know, and whatever
things was going okay at first.
But let me tell you somethingyou really have to read through
(16:43):
the red tape, okay, when itcomes to people, because he told
me he was like, yeah, he waslike, you know this last
relationship I was in, you knowshe was bugging me about going
out on a date.
You know, time out, we had beentogether a month and she was
like let him tell it trippingokay, because they did not go
out on a date.
And I was like, oh, and he waslike, yeah, it's time.
(17:05):
She don't understand.
You know I'm busy, I got thingsgoing on, I got things to do
and all this stuff and I'm like,well, boo hoo her.
Yeah, you know.
I mean, if she can't, you know,if she can't wait on you, you
know, for a mom, you know I'msitting up here I'm like got his
back, yo.
(17:26):
When I say we were talking foralmost maybe two and a half
months and he had not evenmentioned a date to me.
It was like every time Imentioned, like us meeting up or
going out on a date, he alwayshad an excuse.
Now he say he didn't havenobody, because I know what
you're gonna say maybe he hadsomebody.
Let him tell it.
He didn't.
He was taking care of his youknow his children and he was
(17:50):
divorced and whatever, but heworked so much he had no time
for for me, he only had time forhis kids and his job, you know,
and I met him maybe twice, youknow, or whatever, but it was
like a five minute meetupbecause he had to go home.
It was like almost like he wasjust getting off of work.
(18:11):
It was almost like those typeof meetups.
But let me say this this is tomen and women If you're not
ready to really date, okay, ifyou're not ready to like, take
it to the next level.
Or if you're getting online andyou know you ain't gonna take
nobody out on a date, you justain't got time for that.
Just say that up front.
(18:32):
Like, just be like, hey, listen, my life is really busy, you
know, the only time I have is totalk to you on the phone and
which, might I add, we onlytalked on the phone once in like
two and a half months, becauseeverything else was text
messaging.
And I get the text messaging,it's okay.
But you know, sometimes, youknow a phone conversation helps,
(18:56):
but then I say that, but when Idid get on the phone with him,
he cursed.
Like when I say he cursed fromthe time the sun up to sun down
to the snacks, to the appetizers.
He was it vets to my spirit, somuch because he cursed so much.
Every other word I'm like, isthat like your first language?
So I was glad about not talkingon the phone with him, I'm like
(19:20):
because I don't want to hearthat.
But the text messages was okay.
But then they got a little vagueand then it was almost like
well, you know, every time Imentioned about hanging out, it
was like I always had to mentionit or I always had to bring it
up, and the crazy thing about itis he didn't see anything wrong
with it.
Because when I mentioned likehey, you know, we can't spend
(19:42):
time together, we can't, youcan't make time to at least go
on a date, then you know I'mgonna have to, I'm gonna have to
tell you bye.
But it's like he got realdefensive.
He made it seem like he was thevictim, I was the problem and
all this stuff, and I'm likewhat?
Basically, what I found out isthat he was gaslighting me.
You know what I mean and I'mlike okay, but anyway, long
(20:07):
story short, I was just like Idon't have time to for this.
You know, life is too precious.
I just ain't got the time and Ihad to end up letting him go.
I'm like listen, bro, you gonnahave to come better than this,
because you know.
But he made me feel like I wascrazy, like maybe I shouldn't
have asked him for a date.
(20:27):
As a matter of fact, Ishouldn't have had to ask,
because if you were reallyinterested in me you would have
been saying, hey, well, let's,let's meet up, or let's meet up
for breakfast, so let's go tolunch, or something.
So it kind of made me think,even though he said he didn't
have anybody, that he did havesomeone, or maybe he was just
interested in someone else andhe just was a coward and just
(20:50):
didn't know how to come out andtell me, which is cool.
But anyway, after I kicked himto the curb, I was like I am not
getting on anybody else'sdating site.
And I got some friends and youknow they had this other dating
site that they were trying toget on.
I had one friend who did, but Iwas like I think I'm gonna call
(21:10):
that, I think I'm gonna callquits on that, so anyway.
So yeah, so just be real, whenyou, on these dating streets,
make sure that you really listeninto the person you know.
The Bible tells us to be quickto hear, slow to speak, okay,
slow to rap, but listen at whatit said, be quick to hear, okay,
(21:31):
so, just be quick to hear aboutwhat these people are saying
and what's going on, becausemore than likely, the red flag
is somewhere in the conversation.
Okay, and so, um, so, yeah,just just be on the look out for
that.
Um, I had some career changesthis year that you know it's
crazy, because I prayed to Godfor a career change.
(21:55):
I actually wanted to leave myjob and I thought the
conversation that I had with theLord, I thought he understood
that, that I wanted to actuallyleave my job and go someplace
different.
But the career change that Iwas telling the Lord about was
like I just want a career change, I just want a different
(22:16):
scenery, I just want to dosomething different.
Well, god gave me all of that.
Um, however, it was in the samejob, um, just not on the floor
that I would normally work on,it was just on another part of
the building.
But, and that has been veryinteresting, um, and I'm still,
(22:37):
you know, and talk to God aboutthat, because it's been as they
say, it's been a roller coasteroverride and I'm like, okay, god
, I know when you put us inthings.
It's, it's for our good,there's a lesson in it.
But you also say you won't putno more on us than we can bear
and I think I think the rubberis kind of meeting the road, but
(23:00):
hey, I'm gonna stick it out.
I'm gonna stick it out.
I don't want to leave if God isdoing something or if he's
trying to show me somethingthrough this.
I don't, I don't want to abortthe missions.
You know, before the lesson,you know what I mean, so I'm
gonna stick around.
But it's, it's definitely beensome career changes, a lot of
(23:24):
learning, okay, a lot oflearning, and I'm also learning
to keep doors closed, like forgood, this time.
God has dealt with me in thepast about closing doors and I
wrote a blog post one time aboutthe pain of closing every door,
the pain of closing every door,and God has been dealing with
(23:44):
me about closing doors closingdoors to certain things, closing
doors to certain ideas, closingdoors to certain people, you
know, closing doors to certainatmospheres, and just you know,
just starting afresh, and justyou know, because what I'm
learning is that when we keepthose doors open, like when we
(24:07):
really keep those doors open,we're tying God's hands because
he can't.
He can't move us where he wantsto move us because you still
got a door open.
Maybe you got a door open rightnow in your life, a door that
you need to close.
Okay, before 2024, before 2024even come in, you need to close
(24:29):
that door.
Like maybe God has been dealingwith you about, hey, okay, and
I don't think God is gonna keeptelling us to do things.
You know, after a while yougonna suffer.
We suffer the consequences ofthe things that we don't do, so
your consequence, or ourconsequence, could be not moving
forward.
Have you ever heard people say,man, I feel like I should be so
much further down the road.
(24:51):
You know, then, where I amright now.
And so with that, it's like,yeah, you should be, like we
should be, but we have to checkour lives, like look back over
your life and like, okay, whatam I doing, what, what?
What door do I still have openthat's supposed to be closed?
So and I know God has beendealing with me heavily about
(25:15):
that this end of the year of2023 like, close that door, walk
away, move, you know, or you'regonna miss it.
You're going to miss it, youknow, if you don't walk away,
you're gonna miss it and I don'twant to miss it and I know you
don't want to miss it.
So, whatever doors that youneed to close, make sure you
(25:37):
closed them okay.
Close them doors okay,spiritually.
You know, maybe you attach tosome things physically.
Some of our doors need to close, you know, and just let the
Lord, like, lead and guide you.
You know, and whatever I had toclose a door that I really
(25:59):
didn't want to close, but I justfeel like, especially the last,
the end of this year, it's beena whole lot of shifting,
shifting from what you want towhat you need.
You know, is it serving us orno?
You know, do you find yourselfgoing into like this pattern?
You feel like this hamster onthis hamster wheel that's going
(26:22):
round and round and round andround and it's not going nowhere
.
The hamster think he's goingsomewhere, but he's not going
nowhere.
He's just going around andaround and around in a circle
and some things have to shift.
You know, is it serving you?
Is it?
Is it is it?
Are you the hamster on thehamster wheel?
And you just keep going aroundand around and around and you
(26:44):
don't know why.
You keep going around like whyam I in this cycle?
Is it serving me?
Is it?
Is it doing me good?
Is it making me happy?
Is it making me better?
Is it making me money?
Because if not, then I don'tneed to make time for it.
I need to shift.
Okay, I need to open my doorsor bring, or, you know, open my
(27:08):
mind to things that are reallygoing to serve me, and that's
that.
I'm going to get something outof it.
You know so.
So that's something.
Let me see family changes.
I've had some family changesthis year and making new habits
and traditions, especially forthe holidays.
So my sister we used to livelike 45 minutes away from each
(27:34):
other, but she moved to Texasthis year, her and her family,
and that's been very taxing onmy mind and my heart.
You know, the crazy thing is isthat God told me that she was
going to move, that they weregoing to move, so I was prepared
.
But you know how it is when Godtells you something and a lot
(27:55):
of times he tells you somethingbut it doesn't happen right then
and there it's like aforewarning, like I see it up
the road and I'm just gettingyou prepared for it right now,
because this is gonna hurt you.
I'm, you know I'm trying tolessen the blow.
Then, you know, you find it outand it really tearing you down.
So I'm just I'm just kind ofpreparing you now for it, you
(28:17):
know.
So get ready.
But so it was kind of one ofthose things.
So when she told me that youknow they were God who had been
dealing with them and they weremoving to Texas, it wasn't a
surprise but it was hurtful.
And I didn't realize how hurt Ireally was until the holidays
(28:38):
rolled around, because usuallyfor Thanksgiving and Christmas
I'm at her house and we're doingthings.
She's cooking, you know, theydon't trust me to cook.
You know I'm kind of like thepaper goods.
You know, I just bring thepaper goods, I bring the drinks,
I bring the sweets from thestore and I, you know, I bring
(29:00):
the plastic spoons and forks.
So in the napkins, yeah, yeah,so that's that's usually what I
bring.
Everybody didn't know me wasshown to bring you the paper
goods.
Girl, I'm either bringing papergoods or I'm bringing the food
from the store.
Okay, nobody wants.
Nobody wants my food, it's okay, it's alright.
Hopefully God bless me to ahusband that can cook.
(29:24):
But the thing is is that Irealized that I had to make some
new traditions this year andthey were very hard.
So, because I'm not a cook, weended up going to Golden
Carrelle for Thanksgiving thisyear, which was different, and I
felt bad about it at firstbecause everybody was like what,
you not gonna cook, you're notgonna at least try and whatever?
(29:45):
Look, I know my gift things.
Okay, I know what works for meand cooking it's not one of them
.
But the thing is is that it'snothing wrong with making new
traditions and and everything,and so that was a new tradition
for me and my kids.
It's just going to the GoldenCarrelle.
However, I realized that thereis also a lot of other people
(30:08):
who don't cook on Thanksgiving,either, okay, or they don't have
family.
That you know, that theymingling over their house or
friends and stuff, so don't letthe holidays trip you up.
Like you know, everybody iswith a family, everybody's with
some type of friend or something.
That is not true, and I learnedthat from the Golden Carrelle.
Okay, when I say that line wasout the door, it was out the
(30:32):
door.
No, people was literallyrunning over each other, okay,
to eat their food, so, yeah, soI think that would be my
tradition, holiday tradition forThanksgiving, probably, you
know, at least for the next yearor two, okay, but for Christmas
.
You know, christmas is what youmake it.
Christmas is all about love andsharing and just being with
(30:55):
family and friends, and that'swhat it was for me and the kids.
You know, we got in our work,we had our jammies on, we was
watching movies and we allcooked up our own food and you
know, that was it.
It's not about what you have orwhat you do, what's in the
fridge, who's cooking what, butit's about spending time with
one another and just loving oneach other.
(31:17):
It's about love, in which oneof my favorite quotes is love
doesn't take a holiday.
So it doesn't take a holiday toshow love.
We're really supposed to showit all throughout the year, but
of course, the holidays arereally really special days, for
when you do get with family, youknow, you draw a little closer
to your family or the ones thatare around you and you just love
(31:39):
on them.
And I will say this beintentional when it comes to
your family for 2024.
For those of you that have good, good relationships with your
families, understand if youdon't, but be intentional.
Be intentional about familytime.
You know, I have a friend whoyou know it was like they are,
(32:00):
so they were so programmed withworking until you know they got
invited to a wedding you knowfamily wedding and they could
not think about, they couldn'treally take out time to enjoy
the family because they were sobusy thinking about working.
And this is the thing we don'tknow what the next year is going
(32:22):
to hold, which is pretty muchwhat I said in the beginning.
It's, you know, the year can beexciting but it can be scary
too.
The people that we love on andthat we cherish this year, they
just may not be here next year.
You know, they may not be herein 2024.
And that doesn't always mean indeath, but it could be like my
(32:44):
situation with my sister.
They move away, you know, andmaybe you don't have the funds
or or the means or you know, orwhatever, to go and be with them
.
So that's, you guys areseparated, so it doesn't
necessarily mean in death, butdeath is like a big part of it,
like somebody you loving ontoday could not be here next
year.
(33:04):
And so we really need to beintentional about family time,
taking out time, because I'mgoing to tell you, having lost,
you know, quite a few people,one of the one of the main
things that come back to yourmind after a person passes is
regret.
You don't immediately thinkabout the good times you had or
(33:27):
you know, and all this stuff.
No regret comes.
Regret is like a bully.
It brings up the things thatyou didn't do or that you didn't
say, or that you didn't havetime for, and it it punches you
in the face and the gut.
So, you know, spend time, belike, really, really intentional
with family and friends for2024,.
(33:50):
You know, call people, take outtime.
That's the best gift that youcan give someone is your time.
Even if it's a 10 minute phonecall, hey, that's your time.
You know you spent time withthat person and you know, and
everything.
So that's um.
So that was pretty much my year.
In a nutshell.
(34:11):
Listen, I don't know what 2024is going to hold as far as the
podcast is concerned, but I'mjust praying that.
You know, I'm just allowing theLord to guide, allowing the
Lord to guide, allowing the Lordto guide and he, he do what he
do.
So normally I would do a firstSunday and a second Thursday.
However, I don't know howthat's going to go for 2024
(34:34):
because I have, like some reallybig changes coming up in my own
life, um, so, so, yeah.
So I may not be as consistentwith the first Sunday and the
second Thursday, but, hey, Iwill be doing some podcast
episodes.
Let me just say it that way.
I just don't know when they'regoing to come.
But just stay tuned to thischannel.
Listen, don't give up on me.
(34:55):
Sometimes I will post to myYouTube channel.
Inspirations with Rishanda Um,you can follow me over there.
I posted two videos over thereand I think I'm going to do I
don't know, I don't want to saywhat I'm going to do, because
then life happens and I may notend up getting the chance to do
it, but you can follow me overthere.
Inspirations with Rishanda youknow there's plenty of videos
(35:18):
and stuff over there is God lifeand tips.
So if I'm not here, then youcan follow me, you know, over
there.
So, anyway, I hope.
I don't know what 2024 is goingto hold for you.
We all don't know what it'sgoing to hold, but I will say
this make sure you keep God atthe forefront.
Okay, allow God to order yoursteps you know, to lead, guide
(35:41):
and direct you.
When I was in my prayer time, umthe other morning, I closed my
eyes.
I woke up with a song um ordermy steps.
It's by Matt, the GMWA MassChoir, and um, that was that
song was so prevalent in myspirit and it's one of my
favorite songs.
However, when I closed my eyes,I saw 2024, and right beside
(36:05):
2024, it said in your word sothat means that we're going to
have to be in the Word of Godthis, uh, upcoming year.
As you can see, as far aschurch is concerned, there's so
many things that's coming out umabout you know, different
people I'm not going to saynames, but different people in
(36:26):
the media, different churchesand leaders and things of that
nature.
Listen, it's a prayer in time,and God doesn't want us to to
really follow the leader, butfollow him.
Okay, follow him as the leaderfollows him.
But if the leader is notfollowing him, then you know we
(36:47):
should be following God firstand foremost.
Okay, but, um, but there's somany things and I I've heard a
lot of prophetic forecasts andpeople saying that, um, you know
of what 2024 is going to be.
But I will say this ask God forwisdom, ask him to order your
steps and make sure you are inhis word, because there's safety
(37:12):
in his word and there's safetyand secrets in his presence.
Okay so, listen, I love you,have the most amazing day and
year ahead.
Listen, I know I will be back,lord's, will you know, posting
some things, but, um, but yeah,I just wish you the best, but I
just wanted to get on and justdo a recap, so hopefully you got
(37:34):
something Okay From thispodcast episode.
But, um, but be blessed.
And um, um, yeah, 2024 is goingto be a year.
It's going to be a year.
I just feel it.
It's going to be a year.
It's going to be good, it'sgoing to be good, but let's just
(37:55):
make sure we are definitelydoing a whole lot of praying.
Okay, so, listen, stay tuned,have the most.
I already said this.
See, you know this is the thingwith me.
I don't know how to say, justcut things off.
So I'm just going to say thisbe blessed and I'll see you next
time.
That was it for today's episode.
(38:17):
I hope you were inspired andfeel positive vibes whenever you
spend some time with me.
Roshanda and the matters of theheart podcast.
Thank you for tuning in anddon't forget to join me next
time as we dive deeper into ourspiritual, mental and physical
journey.
You can follow matters of theheart podcast on Facebook to
stay tuned for what's comingnext.
(38:39):
Feel free to share the episodeswhile you're here.
Also, stay with me bysubscribing wherever your
favorite music and podcaststations reside and, as always,
watch your heart, because itsactions will follow.
Thank you for listening.
Welcome to Matters of the Heart.
Podcast with Rishanda SundayThoughts episode edition.
Sunday Thoughts are storiesI've experienced in life and I
relate those stories to God'sWord in a way where you can
understand.
It's never about preaching, buta discovery and trying to find
God's voice and pick up a fewlessons to be learned in our
daily lives.
This Sunday, let's take time toreflect and think about those
(00:24):
experiences.
Most messages are often hiddenin plain sight and everything
that happens to us, whether goodor bad, hey, everyone, welcome
back.
I bet you say welcome back,girl.
Where have you been?
Okay, I have been around.
I have been around.
Listen, this is Rishanda, justin case you forgot who I was.
(00:46):
Listen, and if the beginningcredits didn't anyway, you're
probably wondering where haveyou been?
What's been going on?
I know I said I was coming backwith a podcast, some episodes
and all this stuff.
Listen when I say life happened.
Life definitely happened.
It kind of put a brown paperbag over my head and honey took
(01:09):
me in an alley and I have beenlocked up.
Okay, it's just been one ofthose things.
You know how sometimes you justyou have really good intentions
to like do something I mean likereally good intentions, but
sometimes your heart intentionsdon't always, they don't always
play out like you planned.
(01:31):
So I thought what better timeto come on, because it has been
a lot happening.
Listen, we're about to embarkon a new year, like a brand new
year.
Can you believe that?
It seemed like it was justyesterday, it was January, and I
closed my eyes and opened itagain, and here it is December
(01:51):
and we're about to go into abrand new year.
That's just how quick, like,everything I feel like has been
going this year.
So you might say what's goingon, girl, listen, this is
unscripted.
I'm just coming so we can havelike a little chat with a whole
lot of intentionality, you know.
So it's going to be a littlebit of this, a little bit of
that, but it's going to be kindof like a wrap up of the year.
(02:15):
There's some things that I'velearned, a lot of things that
I've experienced, and just, hey,we're just going to have a talk
.
Is it okay, like, if we likehave a little conversation,
because that's what's going on.
So you know, get your popcorn.
You know, if you just ain't gotnothing to do today and you
like, hey, I just want to turnsomething on and listen to it.
(02:36):
Hey, you might get somethingout of this podcast, because I
got a couple of tips.
You know that I've learned thatmaybe can help you, you know,
especially as we go into a brandnew year.
So, hold on, get your tea, getyour popcorn, get your chocolate
or whatever.
Whatever floats your boat, okay, and come back and let's just,
let's just talk, all right, soI'll be back, okay.
(03:16):
So here we are.
Listen, I don't really plan forthis podcast to be very long
because I really don't want tobore you, but at the same time
you know it's just there are twothings about going into a new
year.
It can be very exciting and itcan be very scary.
Exciting because January islike a new beginning for
(03:38):
everybody.
Okay, everybody, everybody.
Okay because everybody goingback to the gym, all right, if
you, like me, you don't have agym membership and you ain't
been in a year, okay, we'regoing to fix that this year, but
anyway, so it's like it's a newbeginning for everybody.
It's almost like a reset.
You know to just kind of dothings different, do it over.
(04:00):
Hey, if at first you don'tsucceed, try and try again.
Right, and for some of us wetry and try again every January.
But you know.
But it can also be scarybecause you just never know what
the year is going to hold.
You know, you don't know.
You know once the new year comein, or once January you know,
(04:21):
comes in January 1st you justdon't know from that point on,
from January 1st to December31st, what's going to happen,
what's going to take place, youknow, and whatever, so that it
can be a little scary.
So you know.
Hence 2023 for me.
You know it came in, I had allthese, you know, good ambitions
(04:44):
and goals and things.
I really don't like makingresolutions because you know, I
mean, you started January thefirst and, honey, most of those
resolutions are out the door byJanuary the 28th.
Okay, it's like before Januaryis over.
Okay, two weeks in and it'sover, resolutions out the window
.
But so I just kind of like tryto keep you know in touch with
(05:07):
myself or what I'm doing andmaking sure that I'm doing that
well, or keeping track of, youknow, maybe, some things that I
want to do.
But I have to say this year forme has been very surprising.
It has been very sad, it hasbeen an eye opener and I learned
(05:28):
some things along the way.
So I kind of want to talk aboutthat.
I'm just kind of kind of dothis in spurts.
You know we're going to talkabout death, we're going to talk
about dating, we're going totalk about career changes and
closing doors and family changesand being intentional and all
that good stuff, except for thedeath.
That wasn't great.
(05:49):
So, you know, january came in.
It was great, and I know thelast podcast that I did before I
took like a hiatus was in Mayand I was talking about mental
health.
How did I know that I wouldreally need that and I should
have taken more than threemonths off?
Because I called myself takingthree months off, you know, just
(06:12):
taking a break, becausesometimes you can kind of get
overwhelmed with doing things.
You know you put too much onyour plate and next thing, you
know you overwhelmed and it'slike, okay, I need to let some
things go, I need to take amental break from this, or you
know, kind of let this go orstep back from this, and I
called myself doing that, and soI was like, you know, I'm gonna
(06:34):
come back in September.
Well, september didn't happenand I ended up coming back in
October, you know and whatever.
And I was like you know what?
We're going to end this yearwith a bang and all this stuff,
and I feel like I got banged.
I ended up, you know, a littlebit.
However, the year didn't?
It's not leaving with it's.
(06:56):
With this case of, you know,bad news, I felt like I got bad
news after bad news after badnews on this year.
I know the podcast that I'verecorded in May, if I'm not
mistaken, I think I had justfound out that my cousin had
passed away and that was verydevastating, that was.
That was very hurtful To findout, and she was very young and
(07:17):
she left two children behind,and so, you know, I needed a
break, you know, from that.
You know, whatever and I'mgonna be very transparent I
didn't talk to my cousin likethat.
You know how it is.
You grow up with your cousinsor you grow up with people, and
then, once you guys get acertain age, it's kind of like
you go your separate ways, youknow.
(07:37):
And so it was kind of like that, like I hadn't talked to her
and I don't know when, the lasttime I think I had heard
something about her.
My mom was talking to her andwas trying to, you know, kind of
help her with some life.
You know issues and some lifechanges that she was going
through at the time, but I hadnot personally Talked to her.
(07:59):
It just hurt me for two reasonsbecause, one, she was very
young, she was like early 30sand Two, you know, she had two
children and I feel like shejust got taken away way too, way
too early.
And so you know, when timeslike that come, sometimes you
wish that.
You know you kind of had areached out or you kind of had a
(08:22):
, you know, talked a little more, maybe if something you could
have said or did to changesomebody's mind or their
perceptions about things.
And you know and Sometimes itdoesn't matter what you do with
what you say, you're just, youwon't ever change anybody's mind
.
Once their mind is made upabout something, that's pretty
(08:43):
much it.
And so you know she was justthat person.
But you know God rest her soul.
So after that, up on the higheight is in the break that I
took, you know it seemed likemore deaths just kept coming.
You know, one of our belovedpastors from our church passed
away.
That was very hurtful, you knowshe was going through a
(09:05):
Terrible sickness and you knowwe was believing God that she
was gonna get well, butUnfortunately that did not
happen, and so you know that wasvery hurtful and honestly, it
was very taxing On the church aswell.
So you know it was, it was just, it was just a really, a really
sad time.
(09:26):
That was in June and then, comeAugust, you know, my sister
passed away, and that washurtful.
I think that was like I Don'teven know what to say about that
.
That was, that was.
Words can't describe what thatwas.
(09:46):
You know, we had just, you know, reunited with one another,
like in 21, and so I'm gratefulto God for the Year and some
months that I got a chance toget to know her.
It was something about her,though that it's just.
Even when we were kids, when Ifound out that she was my sister
(10:09):
, I just always wanted I feltlike I always had this
attachment to her, or I alwayswanted to Us to talk, and I kind
of hate that.
Life is life, you know, and wejust lived in two different
states and you know I reachedout to her one time before when
(10:29):
my nephews, her sons, were likereally, really small.
They were like in daycare, Ibelieve, and or maybe early
school, you know, because ourkids are like kind of
back-to-back in ages but um, andwe kind of lost touch because I
moved and I just hate that Ididn't.
I didn't get in contact withher sooner, but I thank God that
(10:50):
I got in contact with her whenI did and you know, and she just
reached out, you know, becauseI had reached out to my dad.
For those of you that don'tknow, I just reunited with my
biological father after 28 years, in 2021.
So it's like when I reunitedwith him, then I also, you know
that's when she came about andshe just reached out to me and
(11:13):
Just started talking.
And you know, we had some somepretty good conversations and
she texted me all the time.
You know, I still got her textmessages and stuff, but Last
year, you know, when she told meshe was sick, it just hurt me
to my heart.
You know.
It's one of those things whereyou pray and you like God, if
you don't do nothing else in theworld for me, do do this one
(11:35):
thing.
Like, do this one thing.
If you don't do nothing else,do this one thing, god, and you
know, and I'll serve you forever.
Not that I don't serve Godbecause I do, I am a believer
but it's like you know, you justyou just want people to live.
You know you just want peopleto be healed, like you don't
want nobody to be sick or youknow, or whatever.
(11:56):
Hopefully, you get what I'msaying, but it was one of those
things, and I prayed for her,got my church to pray for her,
got the intercessory team topray for her, the prayer team
and all this stuff and ComeAugust, she passed away, and
that was hurtful, and I got anopportunity to go back to my
(12:20):
hometown and to to go to herfuneral and and everything, and
it was just a really, really sad, sad time, and it kind of did
something to me.
It really got me to thinking,though, that you know, she had
just Like really came into herdream job, which is being a
(12:41):
teacher and on teaching kids,and, from my understanding, she
was really, really good at it.
You know my sister was smart.
You know she had degrees andand all this stuff, and just
came into her dream job.
It didn't really get a chanceto, um To.
You know, I have the years in it, like I think she would have
(13:03):
wanted to have, and that was thesad thing, and so you know, it
just makes you realize that lifeis just so, so short and we
have to take, um, we have totake one day at a time, but
enjoy your life, do the thingsthat you feel like you can't do
and that you know that you will.
(13:24):
It's my age, you know, or youknow well that it's too late for
that it's I know, and I tellpeople it's never too late for
anything.
As long as you got breath inyour body, okay, it's not too
late.
Okay, as long as they notrolling you down the middle
aisle of a church to sit you infront of all these people that
probably you wouldn't have knownif you was living.
(13:45):
You know it's not too late,it's not too late to do anything
.
Quit putting things off to thelast minute and I'm preaching to
the choir here, like, quitputting things off to the last
minute, just do it.
You know, um, get it done.
You know, and so it's just youknow I did learn something, um
(14:08):
other than that from her funeral, and that's just.
You know, enjoy life.
Enjoy, like, travel more.
You know, do more and andwhatever, because you just never
, never know, you never know.
And speaking of never know, soI did get mine just off to a
lighter subject.
I did get my chance into datingthis summer.
(14:31):
Okay, thought I would try.
After three years I thought Iwould try the dating circuit and
get back out there and putmyself online and stuff.
Even after I said, um, I wasjust gonna wait, I wasn't gonna
try to do the dating thingbecause I just suck at it.
But I was like you know what,I'm just gonna do it, I'm just
(14:52):
gonna do it.
It was more of a practice forme, um, just to see you know,
because sometimes when you'vebeen single for a long time and
you haven't been on a date andyou don't know, when it's kind
of hard to kind of gauge likewhat, what, what's out here,
like what's going on, what's thelanguage, what's the lingo, you
know what you, you missing out,you know, and sometimes I I
(15:17):
will say this you need like thatinteraction with with a guy or
with a woman, just to see youknow.
Okay, am I kind of sharpen upyour, your skills a little bit?
Kind of dust, you know, dustyourself off a little bit.
You know, um, you know andwhatever.
But I tell you what this datingcircuit has not changed?
(15:38):
It has not changed.
People are not who they say.
They are online, you know, andyou could have the greatest
intention about getting onlineand being this wonderful person
and presenting yourself to thesepeople.
You know, I mean, I'm alwaystrue about who I am, okay, but
(15:59):
everybody else isn't like that.
So I got online and I'm, youknow, I met a couple of guys and
, you know, had some some okayconversations, but it was this
one guy.
I'm the type of person likethis.
You know, if you're not looking, I wasn't looking to be online
like that because I don't likegoing through after guy after
guy after guy, just doingwhatever.
(16:20):
It was this one guy.
He was like, you know, he hadbeen on there for a year.
I had just been on there likemaybe two weeks, three weeks.
He was like, hey, you know, hefelt, I felt like he was really
interested in me.
So we kind of, you know, talkedand, um, you know, and whatever
things was going okay at first.
But let me tell you somethingyou really have to read through
(16:43):
the red tape, okay, when itcomes to people, because he told
me he was like, yeah, he waslike, you know this last
relationship I was in, you knowshe was bugging me about going
out on a date.
You know, time out, we had beentogether a month and she was
like let him tell it trippingokay, because they did not go
out on a date.
And I was like, oh, and he waslike, yeah, it's time.
(17:05):
She don't understand.
You know I'm busy, I got thingsgoing on, I got things to do
and all this stuff and I'm like,well, boo hoo her.
Yeah, you know.
I mean, if she can't, you know,if she can't wait on you, you
know, for a mom, you know I'msitting up here I'm like got his
back, yo.
(17:26):
When I say we were talking foralmost maybe two and a half
months and he had not evenmentioned a date to me.
It was like every time Imentioned, like us meeting up or
going out on a date, he alwayshad an excuse.
Now he say he didn't havenobody, because I know what
you're gonna say maybe he hadsomebody.
Let him tell it.
He didn't.
He was taking care of his youknow his children and he was
(17:50):
divorced and whatever, but heworked so much he had no time
for for me, he only had time forhis kids and his job, you know,
and I met him maybe twice, youknow, or whatever, but it was
like a five minute meetupbecause he had to go home.
It was like almost like he wasjust getting off of work.
(18:11):
It was almost like those typeof meetups.
But let me say this this is tomen and women If you're not
ready to really date, okay, ifyou're not ready to like, take
it to the next level.
Or if you're getting online andyou know you ain't gonna take
nobody out on a date, you justain't got time for that.
Just say that up front.
(18:32):
Like, just be like, hey, listen, my life is really busy, you
know, the only time I have is totalk to you on the phone and
which, might I add, we onlytalked on the phone once in like
two and a half months, becauseeverything else was text
messaging.
And I get the text messaging,it's okay.
But you know, sometimes, youknow a phone conversation helps,
(18:56):
but then I say that, but when Idid get on the phone with him,
he cursed.
Like when I say he cursed fromthe time the sun up to sun down
to the snacks, to the appetizers.
He was it vets to my spirit, somuch because he cursed so much.
Every other word I'm like, isthat like your first language?
So I was glad about not talkingon the phone with him, I'm like
(19:20):
because I don't want to hearthat.
But the text messages was okay.
But then they got a little vagueand then it was almost like
well, you know, every time Imentioned about hanging out, it
was like I always had to mentionit or I always had to bring it
up, and the crazy thing about itis he didn't see anything wrong
with it.
Because when I mentioned likehey, you know, we can't spend
(19:42):
time together, we can't, youcan't make time to at least go
on a date, then you know I'mgonna have to, I'm gonna have to
tell you bye.
But it's like he got realdefensive.
He made it seem like he was thevictim, I was the problem and
all this stuff, and I'm likewhat?
Basically, what I found out isthat he was gaslighting me.
You know what I mean and I'mlike okay, but anyway, long
(20:07):
story short, I was just like Idon't have time to for this.
You know, life is too precious.
I just ain't got the time and Ihad to end up letting him go.
I'm like listen, bro, you gonnahave to come better than this,
because you know.
But he made me feel like I wascrazy, like maybe I shouldn't
have asked him for a date.
(20:27):
As a matter of fact, Ishouldn't have had to ask,
because if you were reallyinterested in me you would have
been saying, hey, well, let's,let's meet up, or let's meet up
for breakfast, so let's go tolunch, or something.
So it kind of made me think,even though he said he didn't
have anybody, that he did havesomeone, or maybe he was just
interested in someone else andhe just was a coward and just
(20:50):
didn't know how to come out andtell me, which is cool.
But anyway, after I kicked himto the curb, I was like I am not
getting on anybody else'sdating site.
And I got some friends and youknow they had this other dating
site that they were trying toget on.
I had one friend who did, but Iwas like I think I'm gonna call
(21:10):
that, I think I'm gonna callquits on that, so anyway.
So yeah, so just be real, whenyou, on these dating streets,
make sure that you really listeninto the person you know.
The Bible tells us to be quickto hear, slow to speak, okay,
slow to rap, but listen at whatit said, be quick to hear, okay,
(21:31):
so, just be quick to hear aboutwhat these people are saying
and what's going on, becausemore than likely, the red flag
is somewhere in the conversation.
Okay, and so, um, so, yeah,just just be on the look out for
that.
Um, I had some career changesthis year that you know it's
crazy, because I prayed to Godfor a career change.
(21:55):
I actually wanted to leave myjob and I thought the
conversation that I had with theLord, I thought he understood
that, that I wanted to actuallyleave my job and go someplace
different.
But the career change that Iwas telling the Lord about was
like I just want a career change, I just want a different
(22:16):
scenery, I just want to dosomething different.
Well, god gave me all of that.
Um, however, it was in the samejob, um, just not on the floor
that I would normally work on,it was just on another part of
the building.
But, and that has been veryinteresting, um, and I'm still,
(22:37):
you know, and talk to God aboutthat, because it's been as they
say, it's been a roller coasteroverride and I'm like, okay, god
, I know when you put us inthings.
It's, it's for our good,there's a lesson in it.
But you also say you won't putno more on us than we can bear
and I think I think the rubberis kind of meeting the road, but
(23:00):
hey, I'm gonna stick it out.
I'm gonna stick it out.
I don't want to leave if God isdoing something or if he's
trying to show me somethingthrough this.
I don't, I don't want to abortthe missions.
You know, before the lesson,you know what I mean, so I'm
gonna stick around.
But it's, it's definitely beensome career changes, a lot of
(23:24):
learning, okay, a lot oflearning, and I'm also learning
to keep doors closed, like forgood, this time.
God has dealt with me in thepast about closing doors and I
wrote a blog post one time aboutthe pain of closing every door,
the pain of closing every door,and God has been dealing with
(23:44):
me about closing doors closingdoors to certain things, closing
doors to certain ideas, closingdoors to certain people, you
know, closing doors to certainatmospheres, and just you know,
just starting afresh, and justyou know, because what I'm
learning is that when we keepthose doors open, like when we
(24:07):
really keep those doors open,we're tying God's hands because
he can't.
He can't move us where he wantsto move us because you still
got a door open.
Maybe you got a door open rightnow in your life, a door that
you need to close.
Okay, before 2024, before 2024even come in, you need to close
(24:29):
that door.
Like maybe God has been dealingwith you about, hey, okay, and
I don't think God is gonna keeptelling us to do things.
You know, after a while yougonna suffer.
We suffer the consequences ofthe things that we don't do, so
your consequence, or ourconsequence, could be not moving
forward.
Have you ever heard people say,man, I feel like I should be so
much further down the road.
(24:51):
You know, then, where I amright now.
And so with that, it's like,yeah, you should be, like we
should be, but we have to checkour lives, like look back over
your life and like, okay, whatam I doing, what, what?
What door do I still have openthat's supposed to be closed?
So and I know God has beendealing with me heavily about
(25:15):
that this end of the year of2023 like, close that door, walk
away, move, you know, or you'regonna miss it.
You're going to miss it, youknow, if you don't walk away,
you're gonna miss it and I don'twant to miss it and I know you
don't want to miss it.
So, whatever doors that youneed to close, make sure you
(25:37):
closed them okay.
Close them doors okay,spiritually.
You know, maybe you attach tosome things physically.
Some of our doors need to close, you know, and just let the
Lord, like, lead and guide you.
You know, and whatever I had toclose a door that I really
(25:59):
didn't want to close, but I justfeel like, especially the last,
the end of this year, it's beena whole lot of shifting,
shifting from what you want towhat you need.
You know, is it serving us orno?
You know, do you find yourselfgoing into like this pattern?
You feel like this hamster onthis hamster wheel that's going
(26:22):
round and round and round andround and it's not going nowhere
.
The hamster think he's goingsomewhere, but he's not going
nowhere.
He's just going around andaround and around in a circle
and some things have to shift.
You know, is it serving you?
Is it?
Is it is it?
Are you the hamster on thehamster wheel?
And you just keep going aroundand around and around and you
(26:44):
don't know why.
You keep going around like whyam I in this cycle?
Is it serving me?
Is it?
Is it doing me good?
Is it making me happy?
Is it making me better?
Is it making me money?
Because if not, then I don'tneed to make time for it.
I need to shift.
Okay, I need to open my doorsor bring, or, you know, open my
(27:08):
mind to things that are reallygoing to serve me, and that's
that.
I'm going to get something outof it.
You know so.
So that's something.
Let me see family changes.
I've had some family changesthis year and making new habits
and traditions, especially forthe holidays.
So my sister we used to livelike 45 minutes away from each
(27:34):
other, but she moved to Texasthis year, her and her family,
and that's been very taxing onmy mind and my heart.
You know, the crazy thing is isthat God told me that she was
going to move, that they weregoing to move, so I was prepared
.
But you know how it is when Godtells you something and a lot
(27:55):
of times he tells you somethingbut it doesn't happen right then
and there it's like aforewarning, like I see it up
the road and I'm just gettingyou prepared for it right now,
because this is gonna hurt you.
I'm, you know I'm trying tolessen the blow.
Then, you know, you find it outand it really tearing you down.
So I'm just I'm just kind ofpreparing you now for it, you
(28:17):
know.
So get ready.
But so it was kind of one ofthose things.
So when she told me that youknow they were God who had been
dealing with them and they weremoving to Texas, it wasn't a
surprise but it was hurtful.
And I didn't realize how hurt Ireally was until the holidays
(28:38):
rolled around, because usuallyfor Thanksgiving and Christmas
I'm at her house and we're doingthings.
She's cooking, you know, theydon't trust me to cook.
You know I'm kind of like thepaper goods.
You know, I just bring thepaper goods, I bring the drinks,
I bring the sweets from thestore and I, you know, I bring
(29:00):
the plastic spoons and forks.
So in the napkins, yeah, yeah,so that's that's usually what I
bring.
Everybody didn't know me wasshown to bring you the paper
goods.
Girl, I'm either bringing papergoods or I'm bringing the food
from the store.
Okay, nobody wants.
Nobody wants my food, it's okay, it's alright.
Hopefully God bless me to ahusband that can cook.
(29:24):
But the thing is is that Irealized that I had to make some
new traditions this year andthey were very hard.
So, because I'm not a cook, weended up going to Golden
Carrelle for Thanksgiving thisyear, which was different, and I
felt bad about it at firstbecause everybody was like what,
you not gonna cook, you're notgonna at least try and whatever?
(29:45):
Look, I know my gift things.
Okay, I know what works for meand cooking it's not one of them
.
But the thing is is that it'snothing wrong with making new
traditions and and everything,and so that was a new tradition
for me and my kids.
It's just going to the GoldenCarrelle.
However, I realized that thereis also a lot of other people
(30:08):
who don't cook on Thanksgiving,either, okay, or they don't have
family.
That you know, that theymingling over their house or
friends and stuff, so don't letthe holidays trip you up.
Like you know, everybody iswith a family, everybody's with
some type of friend or something.
That is not true, and I learnedthat from the Golden Carrelle.
Okay, when I say that line wasout the door, it was out the
(30:32):
door.
No, people was literallyrunning over each other, okay,
to eat their food, so, yeah, soI think that would be my
tradition, holiday tradition forThanksgiving, probably, you
know, at least for the next yearor two, okay, but for Christmas
.
You know, christmas is what youmake it.
Christmas is all about love andsharing and just being with
(30:55):
family and friends, and that'swhat it was for me and the kids.
You know, we got in our work,we had our jammies on, we was
watching movies and we allcooked up our own food and you
know, that was it.
It's not about what you have orwhat you do, what's in the
fridge, who's cooking what, butit's about spending time with
one another and just loving oneach other.
(31:17):
It's about love, in which oneof my favorite quotes is love
doesn't take a holiday.
So it doesn't take a holiday toshow love.
We're really supposed to showit all throughout the year, but
of course, the holidays arereally really special days, for
when you do get with family, youknow, you draw a little closer
to your family or the ones thatare around you and you just love
(31:39):
on them.
And I will say this beintentional when it comes to
your family for 2024.
For those of you that have good, good relationships with your
families, understand if youdon't, but be intentional.
Be intentional about familytime.
You know, I have a friend whoyou know it was like they are,
(32:00):
so they were so programmed withworking until you know they got
invited to a wedding you knowfamily wedding and they could
not think about, they couldn'treally take out time to enjoy
the family because they were sobusy thinking about working.
And this is the thing we don'tknow what the next year is going
(32:22):
to hold, which is pretty muchwhat I said in the beginning.
It's, you know, the year can beexciting but it can be scary
too.
The people that we love on andthat we cherish this year, they
just may not be here next year.
You know, they may not be herein 2024.
And that doesn't always mean indeath, but it could be like my
(32:44):
situation with my sister.
They move away, you know, andmaybe you don't have the funds
or or the means or you know, orwhatever, to go and be with them
.
So that's, you guys areseparated, so it doesn't
necessarily mean in death, butdeath is like a big part of it,
like somebody you loving ontoday could not be here next
year.
(33:04):
And so we really need to beintentional about family time,
taking out time, because I'mgoing to tell you, having lost,
you know, quite a few people,one of the one of the main
things that come back to yourmind after a person passes is
regret.
You don't immediately thinkabout the good times you had or
(33:27):
you know, and all this stuff.
No regret comes.
Regret is like a bully.
It brings up the things thatyou didn't do or that you didn't
say, or that you didn't havetime for, and it it punches you
in the face and the gut.
So, you know, spend time, belike, really, really intentional
with family and friends for2024,.
(33:50):
You know, call people, take outtime.
That's the best gift that youcan give someone is your time.
Even if it's a 10 minute phonecall, hey, that's your time.
You know you spent time withthat person and you know, and
everything.
So that's um.
So that was pretty much my year.
In a nutshell.
(34:11):
Listen, I don't know what 2024is going to hold as far as the
podcast is concerned, but I'mjust praying that.
You know, I'm just allowing theLord to guide, allowing the
Lord to guide, allowing the Lordto guide and he, he do what he
do.
So normally I would do a firstSunday and a second Thursday.
However, I don't know howthat's going to go for 2024
(34:34):
because I have, like some reallybig changes coming up in my own
life, um, so, so, yeah.
So I may not be as consistentwith the first Sunday and the
second Thursday, but, hey, Iwill be doing some podcast
episodes.
Let me just say it that way.
I just don't know when they'regoing to come.
But just stay tuned to thischannel.
Listen, don't give up on me.
(34:55):
Sometimes I will post to myYouTube channel.
Inspirations with Rishanda Um,you can follow me over there.
I posted two videos over thereand I think I'm going to do I
don't know, I don't want to saywhat I'm going to do, because
then life happens and I may notend up getting the chance to do
it, but you can follow me overthere.
Inspirations with Rishanda youknow there's plenty of videos
(35:18):
and stuff over there is God lifeand tips.
So if I'm not here, then youcan follow me, you know, over
there.
So, anyway, I hope.
I don't know what 2024 is goingto hold for you.
We all don't know what it'sgoing to hold, but I will say
this make sure you keep God atthe forefront.
Okay, allow God to order yoursteps you know, to lead, guide
(35:41):
and direct you.
When I was in my prayer time, umthe other morning, I closed my
eyes.
I woke up with a song um ordermy steps.
It's by Matt, the GMWA MassChoir, and um, that was that
song was so prevalent in myspirit and it's one of my
favorite songs.
However, when I closed my eyes,I saw 2024, and right beside
(36:05):
2024, it said in your word sothat means that we're going to
have to be in the Word of Godthis, uh, upcoming year.
As you can see, as far aschurch is concerned, there's so
many things that's coming out umabout you know, different
people I'm not going to saynames, but different people in
(36:26):
the media, different churchesand leaders and things of that
nature.
Listen, it's a prayer in time,and God doesn't want us to to
really follow the leader, butfollow him.
Okay, follow him as the leaderfollows him.
But if the leader is notfollowing him, then you know we
(36:47):
should be following God firstand foremost.
Okay, but, um, but there's somany things and I I've heard a
lot of prophetic forecasts andpeople saying that, um, you know
of what 2024 is going to be.
But I will say this ask God forwisdom, ask him to order your
steps and make sure you are inhis word, because there's safety
(37:12):
in his word and there's safetyand secrets in his presence.
Okay so, listen, I love you,have the most amazing day and
year ahead.
Listen, I know I will be back,lord's, will you know, posting
some things, but, um, but yeah,I just wish you the best, but I
just wanted to get on and justdo a recap, so hopefully you got
(37:34):
something Okay From thispodcast episode.
But, um, but be blessed.
And um, um, yeah, 2024 is goingto be a year.
It's going to be a year.
I just feel it.
It's going to be a year.
It's going to be good, it'sgoing to be good, but let's just
(37:55):
make sure we are definitelydoing a whole lot of praying.
Okay, so, listen, stay tuned,have the most.
I already said this.
See, you know this is the thingwith me.
I don't know how to say, justcut things off.
So I'm just going to say thisbe blessed and I'll see you next
time.
That was it for today's episode.
(38:17):
I hope you were inspired andfeel positive vibes whenever you
spend some time with me.
Roshanda and the matters of theheart podcast.
Thank you for tuning in anddon't forget to join me next
time as we dive deeper into ourspiritual, mental and physical
journey.
You can follow matters of theheart podcast on Facebook to
stay tuned for what's comingnext.
(38:39):
Feel free to share the episodeswhile you're here.
Also, stay with me bysubscribing wherever your
favorite music and podcaststations reside and, as always,
watch your heart, because itsactions will follow.
Thank you for listening.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.