Christmas Song Showdown : Pop vs. Rock

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
yo, that's what the kids are saying.
Don't question me on it.
Hello and welcome to mccartneyand gold.
This is usually the podcast, uh, where we take a brilliant
album of popular music anddissect it and put it through a
sporting knockout format.
But for the second time in ourglorious history, we are the
second, only the second time inour glorious near half-decade

(00:23):
history we are hosting aChristmas special.
Ladies and gents, now, lasttime we did a Christmas special,
we just put a bunch ofChristmas songs through their
paces, but this time we've got alittle twist.
Oh, we've all got a twist Alittle twist, a little zesty
twist, which we are pitting popChristmas songs against rock

(00:45):
Christmas songs, although, asBrett compiled this list at the
last minute, I'm already goingto take issue with some of the
thinking on what the categoriesof pop and rock are and quite
how, the logic of quite what'shappened there.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
But that's fine, it's very clearly defined.
There is no kind of half-assedcrossover.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
There's no ambiguity at all, anyway, joining me on
this lovely, tinkly Christmasjourney.
That's definitely not beingrecorded before the 1st of
December, so I'm not barhumbugging at all is Brett Ho ho
ho.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
That is not me being derogatory about three sex
workers.
That is a traditional andclassic Christmas greeting.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
Well, to be fair in the current climate, just before
you try and cancel me, steve, Iwill try and cancel you.
There's a classic greeting ofChristmas I have to say, before
we get to our other guest, thatyou're more likely to be
cancelled for traditionalChristmas than you are for being
rude to hookers, so Sex workers.
So Sex workers.
So yes, so For all part-time.
For I don't think you'venecessarily thought that through

(01:43):
, because traditional Christmasgreetings will probably offend
more people than your sex worksorry, sorry.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
Winter festival, winter festival, winter festival
there we go and, guy, it'sChristmas nice, we did that in
the last Christmas episode.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
We did that in the last Christmas episode.

Speaker 1 (02:02):
Oh, he's not listening to it despite claiming
he's listening to to it, hewasn't.
Despite claiming he's listenedto every single minute of your
goal output, he didn't know.
You can't repeat material.
That's it.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
The whole episode's off.
Well, I think he listens toevery episode for a minute.
That's what he said.

Speaker 4 (02:16):
I didn't think of an intro.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
I panicked under pressure.
That's what happens.
All right, exactly so.
Unless there's any otherbusiness gents, we're just going
to jump straight in here,straight in Straight in With no
messing.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
we've got a lot to get through.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
We've got a lot of ground to cover.
We've got a lot of ground tocover, but anyone who does
regularly listen to the podcast,you will be mercifully free of
incredibly deep dives intostories about what the producer
did at three in the morning withan orange and an elf.
Uh, it's just talking about thesongs and moving on.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
it's going to be yeah , all this is going to be fast
and furious, that's it so soround one which I apparently
apparently is is it's rockversus pop.
Remember, the concept is rockversus pop.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
It's very strong is it, though, because you seem to
have put, you seem to have putColdplay, the Coldplay?
Yeah, that's pop next to withtheir lovely tinkly Christmas
ballad Christmas Lights.
Next to.
The Ramones rock with I don'twant to sorry, merry Christmas
brackets, I don't want no.
I don't want to fight tonightoh, okay close brackets.

(03:23):
No, I don't want to fighttonight.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Oh okay, close brackets.
It doesn't really feel likeChristmas at all.
Still waiting for the snow tofall.
It doesn't really feel likeChristmas at all, merry.

Speaker 6 (03:47):
Christmas.
I don't want to fight tonight.
Merry Christmas, I don't wantto fight tonight.
Merry Christmas, I don't wantto fight tonight.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
So, bearing in mind the Coldplay, that's the most
elocution a Ramones song hasever got, by the way.
Well, they write it out fully.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
I love that they don't put I don't want to fight
tonight.
They've put I don't want tofight tonight I don't want to
fight tonight.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
That's how he sang it , but I love the way you're
doing it and he sings it likethat but the way that it's
written suggests pronunciationof an elocution of a proper
quality.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
So so how, how is it, bearing mind you put this, uh,
this together here that thatColdplay, bless them, who
started off very much as anindie band and have all those
guitars and things, um, haveended up on the pop side of them
?

Speaker 4 (04:36):
Guy, what do you think well of Coldplay brackets
general?
Yeah, yeah, brackets,definitely.
They come from a really indiebackground.
That's their kind of their sortof the post radiohead uh, post
britpop generation uh, andthey've sort of slowly morphed
into pop behemoths.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
Yeah, they're different para para paradise.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
No, I mean paradise city rock, para paradise pop
definitely but my, my issue withthat is that it's not my issue
that they've gone from rock tobeing pop.
My issue is that they are soinsufferably middle of the road
they're literally the paintcolor magnolia in human form
that they've, they've made,they've, they've, they've,

(05:17):
literally like they're drivingso despicably in the middle of
the road that it's offensive topop and to rock.
I just wish they'd go away.

Speaker 4 (05:27):
Isn't that what Christmas is about, though?
It's about being in the safebit.
It's feeling safe and warm andhappy.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
No, no, no, because I think if you take something
like Mariah Carey, what you dois you take the kitschness and
you turn it up to 100.

Speaker 2 (05:39):
She started out as heavy metal, though, didn't she,
in fairness, she?

Speaker 1 (05:42):
was deaf, she was black metal and she went the
other way exactly.
But no, you take thekitschitude and you, you turn it
up to 11, and that's where,whereas, whereas, no, I don't
think making it the most blandthing you can possibly find is
the way to do it at all.
So you're a coldplay fan.

Speaker 4 (05:56):
I love them, I love them, that's what I'm trying to
say.

Speaker 1 (05:59):
That's what I'm trying to say I, I for billy
balance.

Speaker 4 (06:02):
I quite like them.
I just admire the.
Any artist that can survivethat long and to keep doing what
they do and to get bigger andbigger is quite remarkable.
I get it.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Oh, incredibly successful they're not.

Speaker 4 (06:14):
I mean, I think this song is an example of when I
don't like Coldplay.
I give you that it's when hisvoice is extra annoying because
it can create most oh his voice.
He's got is extra annoyingbecause it can create most, most
ears.
I haven't got to that, but look, we can't, we can't, we'll be
here all night.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
Why did I put this at the start of the?
I don't know it was a terribleidea.
I did the draw as well, just sothat you know people, let's
vote because we could wang onabout Coldplay all night and how
much we hate them.
No, I am voting for Coldplay.
No, against the Ramones.
Yeah, okay, you're voting forColdplay.

Speaker 1 (06:51):
I'm voting for Coldplay because he's had a
breakdown against everythingI've just said.
This song really, really grewon me and I quite enjoyed the
big second half big number,whereas the Ramones song sounds
literally like every otherRamones song ever created, which
is incredibly boring.
So, no, I'm voting for Colbert.
Again, to my better judgment.
I'm voting for Colbert.

(07:12):
I don't get the Ramones at all.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
Oh, my wife, she's going to hate you, I know it.

Speaker 1 (07:18):
I don't understand them.
I never will.
I don't see it.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
Okay, right Guy.
How are you voting?
I like Please vote for theRamones.
You know what?
Please?

Speaker 4 (07:29):
I don't love either of them as strongly as needed at
this time.
I am, however, going to go forthe Ramones purely for our
friendship.
Yes, well done.
And because I think you know,christmas lights is again.
It's just, it's a moment thatI'd rather forget in Coldplay's.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
I mean I feel dirty, I mean I absolutely loathe
Coldplay yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
I think you are dirty .
I can smell you from here.
I'm voting for the Ramones nextround but the Ramones.

Speaker 1 (07:57):
Now I don't see it right.
Good, I enjoy.
Brett is disgrace, absolutelyapathetic, disgrace of all the
things you have ever done.

Speaker 2 (08:05):
That is disgraceful, disgraceful.
Do you realise what you've done?
You've just worked for the coalplate over the Ramones.
Let's move on before ourfriendship.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
We have to call time on it right round.
Two ladies and gents, is OneMore Sleep by the lovely Lady
Leona Lewis, and we all needChristmas by the Deaf Le Leona
Lewis, and we all need Christmasby wow, the deaf leopard snow
was falling all around us.

Speaker 7 (08:37):
My baby's coming home for Christmas.
I've been up all night insidemy bedroom.
He said that he'll be with me,so here's to you and all you do.

Speaker 6 (08:52):
Let's raise a glass to all that's past and to the
future.
Luck may it last, oh, may itlast, oh, let it last, and may
the light oh how did DeathLeopard get on him?

Speaker 2 (09:11):
This is just an extraordinary oh.
Go on, tell us about the owner,lewis.

Speaker 4 (09:16):
One More Sleep.
I love that song.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
That was your suggestion.
We put this on.

Speaker 4 (09:22):
Yeah, because there are seldom many modern day songs
that become sort of staple.
Everyone tries it, everyonethrows something at the wall and
, you know, in the last sort of10 years there's a couple on
this list.
But this one in particular froma UK perspective, is the only
really recent pop addition tothat sort of staple playlist of

(09:43):
Xmas songs.
Really, you hear it every yearand I just think it's a really
smart, clever little song thatyou know there's very little
left to write about Christmas.
Let's be honest, there isreally nothing left.
That's why the titles of thisplaylist that we're picking from
is pretty.
I mean, okay, acdc aside.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
Yeah, there's a certain amount of archetypes.

Speaker 4 (10:06):
It's a limited language yeah, exactly so I just
think it.
It does it in a really fun kindof clever way which feels just,
feels good.
It's a motor again.
It dives into that phil spectersort of sound and that sort of
classic sound, but it also has amodern lyric.
Uh, she's got a great vocal andit just, it just feels right

(10:27):
and genuine to me it's achristmas puppy of a song isn't
it?

Speaker 1 (10:31):
it's a christmas puppy happy little christmas
puppy bouncing around it's.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
I hadn't heard it before and it's really grown on
me, I like it has got a lot ofstreams, got it sold over 1.4
million units.
It is a big christmas song notto old men like you and I
perhaps, steve, but it's I'venever heard it before.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
I'd never heard it before, but I think it's great,
I think it's oh wow, I loved it.
I loved it yeah, she's, she'sgreat um, I think it's
channeling uh, I do think it'schanneling phil specter to an
extent, but I think it'schanneling mariah carey as much
as anything else.
Uh, her vocals, great.
I think it's just great.
Yeah, I really like it.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
Um wow, you are.
You are playing against typetonight.
Is this what has happened?
Because it's not deliberate,just trying to be honest,
supposed to be the christmasgrinch.

Speaker 1 (11:13):
No, no, no, no.
I think it's great, the and Ihave to say that the deaf
leopard one is.
I'm not going to vote.
We all need christmas we allneed christmas I did.
The first time I listened to it, I thought Jesus God, this is
bad.
And I know about the fifth orsixth listen.
I was like I think this is.
Had this been a bigger hit andhad some nostalgia around it as
well, we'd probably be lookingback on it as a classic.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
No, no, no, absolutely no way.
Raise a glass to all the glass.
Oh my God, it's hoary shit.
I really like it.
We all need Christmas, doMother's List?
Oh my god, it's hoary shit.
I really liked it.
Don't we all need Christmas, dowe?

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Don't we all need Christmas Hangovers Too?

Speaker 2 (11:48):
much chocolate.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
Shush now no you're right we don't.
We absolutely don't.
That is awful.
I'm not a big Christmas person.
Nonetheless, definitely agreeon me.
You're doing two Christmaspodcasts.
Definitely agree on me, bit,not as much as Leon Lewis.
I'm going to vote for LeonLewis, but I should have asked
both of you first, because I amhosting, so let's pretend I
haven't done that.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
Very rude what a rude man Guy what are you voting for
?

Speaker 4 (12:15):
one more sleep, leon Lewis, because as much as I love
the, let that ain't it?

Speaker 2 (12:20):
no, it's something else, isn't it?
I don't think we need this thischristmas song.
So, yeah, I'm voting for you,leon leona oh, it's three nil to
leo.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
Well done, leona well controversy there, like in the
in the previous round, which I'mstill miffed about okay, so, so
, um, so in 1980 maca, as of thetitle of this lovely podcast,
decided to make a very, verywacky second solo album and go
all electronic and strange.
Uh, and one of the things fromthose sessions that did not, uh,

(12:51):
get on mccartney 2 but did getinto christmas for the rest of
time, immemorial is wonderfulchristmas time by sir paul
mccartney, which is up againstRun Run Rudolph by Charles of
the Berry.

Speaker 3 (13:12):
The mood is right, the spirits up, we're here
tonight and that's enough.
Simply having a wonderfulChristmas time.

Speaker 6 (13:27):
Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.

Speaker 3 (13:32):
Out of all the Rangers, you know you're the
mastermind.
Run run, Rudolph Randolph,ain't too far behind.

Speaker 6 (13:44):
Run, run.
Rudolph, Santa's got to make itto town.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
Santa, make him hurry , tell him he can make it Two
lovely tunes here I mean Run,run.
Rudolph was a hit for ChuckBerry in 1958.
And essentially he wrote it andthen got done for copyright
because the guy who wroteRudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
had trademarked the word Rudolph.
What a knob and assumed ChuckBerry and Chuck Berry had to

(14:13):
give him 50% of the songwriting.
Oh, that's awful.
Absolutely awful.

Speaker 1 (14:18):
The only person that Chuck Berry should be paying,
you know, like suing is himself,because it sounds like all the
other Chuck Berry songs, exactly.

Speaker 2 (14:25):
Really it sounds like all the other Chuck Berry songs
, exactly he should be.
Well, really it sounds likeJohnny B Goode, so really he
should be paying 50% to this guyand 50% to Martin McFly.
Really.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
Martin McFly, who obviously is the creator of
Johnny B Goode.
The creator of Johnny B Goode.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
And then obviously Marvin Marvin Berry.

Speaker 1 (14:45):
I mean, he's literally got nothing out of
this poor old Chuck Berry, andit's up against Wonderful
Christmas Time.
That's some of the bestwhitewashing of history I've
ever heard.
Well done, it's outrageous,isn't it?

Speaker 2 (14:49):
yeah, I mean unbelievable, but that was the
music business in the 50s.
How much has it changed, guy?

Speaker 1 (14:55):
not much, no, pretty much the same.
That's basically what.

Speaker 4 (14:58):
I'm saying that's Guy's producer insight, insight
for the evening.
There you go yeah, not muchgreen people over since time
began they're two really goodsongs I mean, it's wonderful.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
Christmas time is lovely, it is good, it's.
This is so.
We're talking about christmassong archetypes.
Yes, there's, this is ourarchetype of communal christmas.
You've got merry christmas,everybody by slade, and then
you've got wonderful christmastime.
This is what that is has theword?

Speaker 1 (15:21):
has the adjective uh squelchy ever been more
appropriate than to the synthsat the beginning of wonderful
christmas time?

Speaker 2 (15:29):
no, they're very squelchy, they are the most
squelchy thing I would.
I would wager that squelch tone407 it was.
It was the squelch, yes, that'swhy they called it that exactly
.
And I.

Speaker 4 (15:39):
I would wager that it's the most squelchy thing
that's ever happened in in themodern music era, but it is a
great, the Macca song and look,everyone probably knows by now
that we're all big Macca fans invarious, various forms.
But what I love about it is itdoesn't okay.
If you're going to do aChristmas song, you're going to
make it sound like either Motownor sort of stuff.

(16:02):
Maca comes along with thescrouchiest scrouch sound of all
time and still makes it soundlike christmas.
That's something that I have totip my hat to, because it just
it's his own little world.
But he's.
He's made it really christmassyand I don't know how he's done
it.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
But that's what I love.
I didn't realize till yearslater when I got into maca.
My point about mccartartney 2is a serious one, because you
sort of accept that it's thisbig classic Christmas single, so
you listen to it in that veinand it's only once I realised it
was an offcut from this bizarresynth-led solo album of strange
offcuts that he had nointention of releasing.

(16:38):
And you go back and listen toit and you're like, oh, that's
really really obvious.
It's so minimalist and bizarreand electronic and and we just
sort of forget that because it'sgot some jingle, jingling bells
in the background and everyonehears it.

Speaker 2 (16:51):
You know the whole 80s classic christmas staple.
Yeah, how are we voting?
Come on, let's move on this isreally hard.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
I'm gonna have to vote maca because this is
mccartney and goal and it's hardnot to.
But I really really like thatchuck berry song.
I love that it basically I lovethat.
It gives absolutely no fuckstowards like trying to sound
christmasy in any way.
It's just a chuck berry song,it's just.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
But it's about rudolph and I love that so he
might as well just, butunfortunately he might as well
sing run, rudolph run at the endmightily let's be honest,
that's the only problem with it.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
I think it's really great.
It's Macca for me here.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
Yeah, it's Macca for me.
Is it Macca for thee Langers?
Is it Macca for three?

Speaker 1 (17:29):
It's Macca for three Macca for three Lovely stuff.
Macca the next, he's in gold.

Speaker 4 (17:34):
But yeah, but just quickly on the Chuck Berry song
it's kind of like it just rockand roll sound.
It may not sound obviouslyChristmassy, but it is almost
the birth of sort of, I guess,that sort of Christmassy.

Speaker 1 (17:49):
All sorts of other stuff.

Speaker 4 (17:50):
Including.

Speaker 2 (17:51):
Christmas stuff exactly.
But this is like the 50s isreally the kind of start of the
idea of rock and roll.
And then you think, well, whatcan we do with rock and roll?
Let's write a song aboutChristmas.
They start doing it in the late50s, probably to some extent,
and that's.
You know, that's him doing it.
So all of the clichés have notbeen established yet.
So putting sleigh bells on, youknow, ding-dong, ding-dong, all

(18:12):
of that, they're not reallyestablished yet.

Speaker 4 (18:15):
Yeah, but it still sounds Christmassy.
It sounds like it could be inthe middle of a you know, a film
from 1990 set in New York, andyou know it would be paid in a
shopping scene or something.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
It just well, it sounded particularly good to
Johnny Marks, who was the guywho owned the trademark to the
word Rudolph, because he got 50%of it in perpetuity but, as I
said, it is Santa for three.

Speaker 4 (18:36):
No, it's Macca for three.
Right round four is FatherMacmas Father.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
Macmas.
Round four is Santa Tell Me byAriana Grande Latte and hereanta
tell me by ariana grande latte.

Speaker 8 (18:47):
And here comes santa claus by a lovely interpretive
singer you may have heard of,called bobby list, dylan Cause,
I can't give it all away if hewon't be here next year, feeling
Christmas all around and tryingto play it cool, but it's hard

(19:11):
to focus when I see him walkingacross the room.

Speaker 3 (19:20):
Here comes Santa Claus.
Here comes Santa Claus, rightdown Santa Claus today, fixing
and fixing and holding his ring,yeah, pulling on the reins.
Ran down Santa Claus, today,fixing and fixing, and old his
reindeer pulling on the reins.
Bells are ringing, childrensinging, all is merry and bright
.
Hang your stock and see the day.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
I love this.
I just want to know what you.
I discovered this Bob DylanChristmas album about four years
ago when we were doing thefirst podcast and it just blew
my mind.
How did you feel about it?
Can you describe it?
I still Do.
You want me to describe?

Speaker 1 (19:51):
it.
I still don't know if it's ajoke or not.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
It's hard to know Well it's got this incredibly
clean-cut sound.
It starts off with it soundslike it's done in 1954.
It's like something from adoris day film, yeah.
And then it's really reallyclean cut and everyone's very
shite and briny and incrediblyshite and briny.

(20:13):
No bright, they're bright andshiny.
I'm so excited by this.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
That was the best smell of propism of the year.
That was great.
Shite and briny both work asactual words.
That's great yeah it's nocoincidence it's very.

Speaker 2 (20:23):
It's very bright and shiny and and there's this
really clean cut intro.
And then suddenly bob crazy bobrambles into the christmas
scene here comes santa clausright comes out.
It's just so fucking beautiful.
I love everything of it andit's, it's, it's christmas, it's
a christmas classic for me now.
I absolutely adore it.
Yeah, how do you two find it asa bob dylan fan, were you?

(20:47):
Were you pleased with your hero, steve?

Speaker 1 (20:50):
okay, look, I don't understand that.
I've never understood the whole.
Bob dylan's got a terriblevoice.
Bob dylan can't sing thing,because that the whole point is
that his voice is perfect.
It's perfect, well, yeah, butthat's not the thing.
It's not about whether it'sgood or bad, it's.
It's perfect for his material.
I don't want to hear anyoneelse sing subterranean homesick
blues apart from bob dylan,because it's perfect.

(21:11):
But if, if you're talking aboutbeing what I would describe as
an interpretive singer likemichael buble or something where
he's not going to writesubterranean homesick blues for
me but I can listen to him singthe phone book because he's got
a beautiful voice, then in thatcontext, bob dylan's voice is
fucking awful and it's like what?
At what point did he think meinterpreting christmas songs?

(21:34):
was a good idea it's so fucking,yet it's massively enjoyable
it's amazing.

Speaker 2 (21:40):
It's an amazing marxist critique of christmas.

Speaker 5 (21:42):
That's what he's doing he's like he's setting up
the shiniest most commercialversion of Christmas ever.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
And then he's going.
He's sounding like Crazy Bob,the drunk guy who plays Santa
Claus in the department store.
It's incredible.
He's had two bottles of brandyon his cornflakes.
I don't know how to take it,guy, you're very quiet.
I want to know, know what youthink of this.

(22:10):
I think it's fucking awful.
Again, deep, deep analysis froma musicology background.

Speaker 4 (22:13):
There from guys, I say that partly in jest there
are.
There are there are redeemingfactors about it.
I for one don't necessarilywant to hear that in christmas
time.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
It's a more of an easter listen for you, is it?

Speaker 4 (22:24):
it's yeah it's a bit of it's.
It's it's the hangover onboxing day.
Uh, that is exactly what it is.
It's exactly that's exactlywhat he's doing there.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
He's juxtaposing christmas with, like the shiny
thing, and then this, this he'sbasically he is you know, the
store santas they had in the 50sand they would drink a lot of
brandy.
They all got together and hadlike a huge karaoke show and
crazy bob gets up and sings thisversion.
They're like fucking and he'spissed.
I mean it's just, it's thatcrazy.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
It's great.
I it is enormously enjoyable,but, uh, for all the wrong
reasons.

Speaker 4 (22:53):
But the thing is right, but with christmas songs,
every artist uh, look at this,there's some of the artists that
you know I didn't know until wedid this episode had even done
christmas songs.
There.
There's almost like a sort ofget out of jail free card that
you get with the subject ofChristmas, because anyone can
just have a bit of fun.

Speaker 2 (23:10):
Everyone's done a Christmas song.
Who hasn't done one, that'swhat we're discovering.
Everyone's done one.
It's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
But no, he's right about the get out of jail free
card, because basically if it'sa massive flop, everyone just
goes.
Ah yeah, it was a Christmassong.

Speaker 2 (23:20):
Yeah, exactly, it's a Christmas song.

Speaker 1 (23:22):
A bit of a punt, it's all right.
So, Brett, what are you?

Speaker 2 (23:24):
voting for.
I'm voting for.
Of course you are.
I've got to.
I just love it.

Speaker 4 (23:30):
I am voting for Santa Salmi because it's not Bob
Dylan.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
It's not Bob Dylan destroying.
Here Comes Santa Claus.

Speaker 1 (23:39):
We'll come back to it because it's going through,
because I'm voting for it aswell.
I think it's a wonderful bit ofpop Christmas confection.
So round five is, do we?

Speaker 2 (23:48):
realise, am I writing ?
Oh no, we've only had one rockgo through so far and three pop,
is that right?
Yeah, yeah, wow, pop issmashing it.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
Is this round going to change it?
Well, let's have a look.
Let's have a look.
So we've got Step IntoChristmas.

Speaker 5 (24:08):
By Reginald Dwight himself, sir Elton of John
Technically pop and thank God,it's Christmas.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Technically rock by Queen.
Welcome to my Christmas song.

Speaker 6 (24:19):
I'd like to thank you for being here.
So I'm sending you thisChristmas card Like thank you
for the year.

Speaker 3 (24:29):
So I'm sending you this Christmas card To say it's
nice to have you here.
I'd like to sing about all thethings You're on my mind all
year, but now it's Christmas.
Yes, it's Christmas.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
Come on, langers.
What are you thinking?
One of these is brilliant.

Speaker 4 (24:59):
One of these is brilliant.
One of these is absolutelybrilliant.

Speaker 2 (25:01):
Yes, okay, one of these is absolutely brilliant.

Speaker 4 (25:03):
One of these is you know, when you're sort of the
office party, you can hear musicfrom the next door and there's
that sort of like cacophony ofsound and there's music playing
on a PA system.
One of them has that baked intothe the sound and that for me
is uh, step into christmas,which sounds like just the end
of year party.
It's just the best feel good,yeah you were really worrying me
there fucking hell guy.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
You really worried me , as I thought is he?
Is he going 70?

Speaker 1 (25:26):
christmas is amazing.
One of these is an abominationeverybody.

Speaker 2 (25:32):
I mean, I nearly dropped my eggnog steve.

Speaker 1 (25:34):
I couldn't believe it .
I know.
Absolutely shocking, right,hang on, hang on.
I I I think that we should onlytalk about um queen here,
because, because we've all gotears and we've all lived lives
and we all have, uh, brains andand hearts, and therefore,
obviously, the abomination thatis thank god, it's christmas by

(25:55):
queen is going out and and elton, very rightly, is going through
.
So let's, let's talk about,let's get down to it.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
Tell me about.
How do you feel about this?
I think I believe this is onqueen greatest, it's three.
I think it made it on it.
It did.
I mean, if this podcast is thescraping of a Christmas barrel,
then surely, surely, greatestHits 3 is scraping of a Greatest
Hits barrel yeah, it really isQueen.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
Greatest Hits 3 is just shocking.
What?

Speaker 2 (26:18):
I'm saying is this is a podcast version version of
Queen Greatest Hits 3.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
Yeah, it's an abomination.
It's just one of the worstChristmas songs ever ever.
Everything about it is awful.
There's no form or structure toit.
The only hook is the line.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
Thank God, it's Christmas.
That is the only hook and hisvocals that's the only hook to
it.

Speaker 1 (26:39):
The synths are offensive.
The 80s Lindrums are offensive.
Everything about it isoffensive.
It's just an abomination, isthe best word.
It's one of the worst thingsever put on to vinyl ever.

Speaker 2 (26:53):
It's awful well, I did write nothing, no ideas at
all.
The ultimate scraping of thechristmas barrel, I mean there
is the only thing they've got ongoing for.
It is kind of freddie mercury'svocal being quite good, because
it always is.
I mean that's it and it's andwhy is it?
Over four minutes long.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
You could run a mile in that time no, I know, yeah, I
mean yeah, freddie's alwaysgonna nail it.
I mean I mean, you know, Idetest queen, but freddie
mercury is always gonna nail it,because you well, you're gonna
be popular with all listeners.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
you now?
You now state you detest theramones and Queen.
Are you trying to?
I?

Speaker 1 (27:22):
don't detest the Ramones.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
I don't get the Ramones.
You don't get the Ramones Atall.

Speaker 1 (27:26):
I do not get them, but I don't have anything
against them, I don't have aproblem with them, I just don't
get it.
Queen I find exceptionallyproblematic.
But I mean I love FreddieMercury, so that's equally
problematic for me.

Speaker 4 (27:46):
But this I love Queen , but this song is like they've
taken all the bits I don't likeabout Queen and put them in one
song and wrapped a Christmas bowaround it.
Yeah well, kind of.

Speaker 2 (27:54):
I mean it's written by Brian and Roger, which tells
you that's the fulcrum of yeah,that's strong, yeah.

Speaker 4 (27:57):
Roger as well.
To be fair, he did write RadioGaga, didn't he?
Am I right in thinking?
That.
He did, but then he also wroteI'm in love with my car.
They're a band that should havea Christmas standard if you
look at all the kind of peoplethat have a great rocking song.

Speaker 1 (28:09):
Oh, I hate myself for wanting to agree with you for
that, but yes, they absolutelyshould have a Christmas classic
and utterly failed at the task,which is really.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
It's actually sad well, they have had.

Speaker 1 (28:29):
Just before anybody writes in about my endless
ranting about Queen.
If you looked in my Spotify,you would find three different
Queen playlists which I dolisten to.
My relationship with Queen isvery, very complicated.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
Yeah, I think you've sold yourself as a Queen hater
or a Queen bad boy, and you'renot.
You love them.
I'm not.
I don't, I absolutely don'tStop trying to run with the cool
kids.
I just I have a complicatedrelationship with them, because
the cool kids really worry abouttheir opinion of Queen.
That's what cool kids are intothese days Right round six.

Speaker 1 (29:00):
Round six, ladies and gentlemen, is the Eight Days of
Christmas by Destiny's Childversus Christmastime Brackets.
Don't Let the Bells End by theDogs.
Doesn't it feel like Christmas?
It feels so lovely, doesn't itfeel like Christmas?

Speaker 7 (29:17):
Feel the Christmas.
It feels lovely.
It feels lovely.
So uh.

Speaker 3 (29:47):
Fading joy and surprise Advocates we despise.
Have a mild war With you.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
On the 25th day.
Oh, so much going on in thisround.
This is extraordinary.
This is kind of more modern erawe're getting into the current
century of Christmas tunes.

Speaker 4 (30:09):
But the Darkness song is exactly what the Queen song
should have sounded like.

Speaker 2 (30:13):
Which was yeah, 100%.

Speaker 4 (30:15):
That's what they've come along and done, I think,
really brilliantly.
I think it's an amazingDarkness song, let alone
Christmas song, so it justbrings a smile to my face, just
the sort of innuendo, theEverything.
It's genius.
Yeah, I love it as well.
The occasion, what about?

Speaker 2 (30:31):
Eight Days of Christmas though, steve, the
everything it's genius yeah, Ilove it as well.
The occasion, I mean what about8 days of Christmas, though?
Steve, fucking hell do you know?

Speaker 1 (30:41):
do you know when it when it started?
When it started and I was likethere's actually quite a good
idea in here somewhere about youknow we're going to subvert
it's like a first attempt, isn'tit?
it's like the first attempt yeah, and you know, cut it down to
eight.
He's going to buy me a Mercedesand some diamonds and stuff and
I'm like I get it.

(31:01):
Okay, there's an interestingidea in here.
Do you want English teachercorner?
Here we go, english teachergrammar corner.
So are you familiar with thetechnique, which is very
underused, of hypophora, oftenpronounced hypophora or
hypophora, but it's actuallypronounced hypo.
I've done it wrong Hypofora?
There you go.
Hypofora, which is the.

(31:22):
Anybody know what that is?
Anybody want?

Speaker 2 (31:24):
to know, no idea.
Is it a brand of hip hop?

Speaker 1 (31:28):
No, it is the rhetorical technique.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
Is it hip hop for women, hip hop for her, hip hop
for her.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
Hip hop for her.
That's it.
Yes, you've got it.
Hip hop for the ladies.
It's a very, very sexist termfor what happens sort of
post-middle of the 90s, whenladies were allowed to do hip
hop?
No, not that it is.
When you ask a rhetoricalquestion and answer it yourself.

Speaker 2 (31:49):
Oh, it's amazing.
Oh, I never found that out.
There's a term for it.
It's incredible.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
Yes, which is.

Speaker 2 (31:57):
Amazing, doesn't it?

Speaker 1 (31:58):
feel like Christmas.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
Doesn't it?
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
Yes, it feels like Christmas.
I've answered my own rhetoricalquestion.
It's Hippophora, ladies andgentlemen, 27 times right.

(32:22):
It doesn't fucking now.
It really doesn't fucking now.
It feels like it's so halfbaked it's the most half baked
thing I've heard in.
It doesn't even have the graceto be bad, it's just.
It would be so much better ifit was actually bad.
It's not, it's not bad, it'sjust utterly, utterly unfinished
and it's like someone had halfan idea, stuck half of it on the
record and went that's goodenough and put it out absolutely
shocking.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
Let's just say the words Destiny's Child a lot.
Yeah, definitely try and get inthe Guinness Book of Records
for the most mentions of theword Christmas in a Christmas
song.

Speaker 1 (32:45):
It's so bad and that the chorus is just.
It's genuinely.
I thought it was like theopposite of the deaf leopard
thing, where I listened to it atthe beginning and you know, and
thought this is going to beawful, but it grew on me in the
end with this.
I listened to the opening on it.
I was like, oh, there's a goodidea in here, and they just went
literally.
They just drove that good ideainto a ditch immediately and

(33:07):
then milked it for four minutes.
Terrible.
God.
You're going to tell us it'sgreat and you love it now no one
.

Speaker 4 (33:13):
No, no, I'm not.
Uh, I actually agree with youas a pop head, as the pop head
perhaps, on this podcast.
Uh, it the the intro.
The first half of it baffles me.
It just feels like a?
Uh, just a sort of a backingtrack left over from that era of
of their, their sort of work,and by the end of it I quite
liked it, but the first half wasit's.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
Oh, the first half was it's the first bit is like a
keyboard.
You know, when you buy a reallycheap keyboard and it has
pre-programmed music on it.

Speaker 4 (33:39):
That's the sound at the end.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
Yeah and then again Destiny's Child.
They say Destiny's Child a lot.
They do say they're allowed tosay Destiny's Child.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
I mean, it's the other way around.
I actually found the first halfbetter because they were doing
the sort of 8 Days of Christmasidea they don't even have the
gold rings bit giving funnyexamples 5 gold rings would have
been much better put 5 goldrings on it.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
You know you could have done that, couldn't they?
I mean, there's so many missedChristmas open goals here.

Speaker 4 (34:06):
No, it just yeah, it just tails off if you compare
like 8 Days of Christmas to OneMore Sleep and both are counting
songs.
Right, they've both got sort ofcounting lyrics as a kind of as
a motif.
One works really really welland the other is really.
I love Destiny's Child, butit's trying so hard to do
something groundbreaking andthat ground ain't there for

(34:29):
breaking.

Speaker 2 (34:30):
So that's a second archetype of Christmas songs.
We've had communal Christmas.
Now we've got countdown toChristmas.
That's the next.
That's that's on its face.
That's a second archetype ofchristmas uh songs.
We've had communal christmasnow we've got countdown to
christmas.
That's the next, that's theother archetype.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
That's well, it's in the, um, it's in the the.
There are classics, um, classicways to have a hit, aren't
there?
One of them, is is counting,and one of them is, uh, the days
of the week.
That's a classic songs.
You know, it's like to try tohave a hit if you um, yeah, but,
but counting things down, uh,is is a classic, but yeah, no,
it's a terrible song, right, sothe darkness goes through, um,

(34:59):
which is fair enough.
Fair enough, uh.
And then we've got uh roundseven, which is lonely.
This christmas, by mud, uh,versus.
A very interesting and somewhatbrash cover of santa claus is
coming to Town by Mr BruceSpringsteen.

Speaker 3 (35:18):
So it'll be lonely this Christmas Without you to
hold.
It'll be lonely this Christmas.

Speaker 6 (35:26):
Lonely and cold.
It'll be lonely this ChristmasWithout you to hold.
It'll be lonely this Christmaswithout you to hold.
It'll be lonely this Christmas.
You better watch out.
You better not cry, you betternot pout.
I'm telling you why Santa Clausis coming to town.

(35:50):
Santa Claus is coming to town.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
I mean, I like both of these.
I put both of these on.
So I'm interested to hear whatyou two think.

Speaker 4 (35:59):
Well, I'm interested in what Steve thinks as the
resident cover hater, Coverhater but Springsteen lover
Resident.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
Springsteen lover slash cover hater.
This is difficult for him.

Speaker 1 (36:09):
It's actually not, it's well.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
You've been torn asunder a lot tonight.
Sumner Torn asunder.
How are you?

Speaker 1 (36:15):
feeling about it.
I'm going to go Springsteen butI don't particularly like it
because it's Basically for onevery, very specific reason,
which is he's done it in a keywhere he can't hit a particular
note which is absolutely key tothe tune of the song, and I know

(36:36):
that's overly specific.
I love him, I love the vibe ofit, but the whole point is it
goes, santa claus is coming totown and he can't, and he can't.
He just there's a note he can'thit and it just it doesn't.
It doesn't work, um, as abecause he goes, goes, santa
Claus is coming to town, butit's a live version, though,

(36:58):
isn't it which gives it all thisincredible warmth?

Speaker 2 (37:00):
He's talking to the audience at the start.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
Yeah, it's brilliant, it's classic Bruce in so many
ways, but I find thatproblematic.
Nonetheless, I'm not going tovote for Mud because I just
don't quite understand the pointof it.
So I will be voting forSpringsteen.
Okay, the point of it.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
So I will be waiting for Springsteen.
Okay, I mean, yeah, I reallylike, I mean, and also we've got
another Christmas genre here ofsong.
We've got with here Comes SantaClaus, and Santa Claus is
Coming to Home.
We've got the Whereabouts ofSanta is an entire genre of
Christmas song geographicallywhere is the man right now where
is he is?

Speaker 1 (37:30):
Is he over Lapland?
Is he over New York?
There's like five genres andthat is one of them.
Yeah, that is one of them.

Speaker 2 (37:37):
Well, lonely this Christmas.
I'm assuming Guy's going toalso.
I'm not going to talk for Guy,actually.
I'm just going to tell you abit about Lonely this Christmas.
I put it in because I like theconcept.
It's quite nice to have.
Christmas is such a huge timeof amplified feelings and you've
got to feel a certain way.
It's like the original kind ofFOMO moment, isn't it Christmas?
You've got to be in a certainplace.
It amplifies where you are inyour life and I like the fact

(37:57):
they wrote this song, um, whichis about just being lonely at
Christmas and missing someone,and it was a huge hit.
Actually they never expected itto be and it was number one in
1974, um, and ironically he'sdoing an Elvis Presley
impression, which is reallyweird and actually Elvis Presley
had had a single weird presleyhad.
Presley was alive at this timeand had a single out and this
beat it to number one.

(38:17):
My favorite part of it is atthe end, where he starts.
He's done a reasonable elvisimpression, um, you know
reasonably good, and but then hedoes a spoken word bit and he
starts off and it kind of soundsa bit like elvis.
And then by the fourth, word.
His accent deteriorates, itdeteriorates as it goes on and
it's like my darling, he'sreally West Country.

(38:38):
At the end he's like all right,my lover, happy Christmas.
It won't be so lonely.
It's amazing.
So I love it.
But so I'm going to vote for itbecause I just I wanted it got
the casting vote, I'm goingSpringsteen.

Speaker 4 (38:52):
I'm going to go with Mr Springsteen.
Yay, the Mud song.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
I've never been an Elvis fan, so secondhand Elvis
is even less exciting for you.

Speaker 4 (39:06):
Kind of, yeah, you know, with the exception of
Crazy Little Thing Called Love,oh yeah that's another.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
There you go.
Another famous Elvis impression, yeah, but yeah, that's another
, there they go.
Another famous Elvis impression.

Speaker 4 (39:15):
Yeah, but yeah, no, I get what you're saying
completely and you know BlueChristmas is another one.
I think it's a really greatsort of downbeat alt.
Take on it, but I don't reallywant to listen to it.
Love it All, right, well, mr.
Springsteen goes through, thenwhich?

Speaker 1 (39:30):
takes us to our final qualifying round, which is
Springsteen.
Goes through, then, which takesus to our final qualifying
round, which is Last Christmasby Wham, but disclaimer Come on.
Disclaimer we will not beplaying.

Speaker 4 (39:43):
Yes, we will, why not ?

Speaker 1 (39:44):
When this episode has been edited, we will not be
playing this song.
Why not?
Because?
Because, if you are playing,yeah, whamageddon, what's?

Speaker 2 (39:52):
Whamageddon.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
Whamageddon.
Whamageddon is a beautiful song, a beautiful game played all
over the world.
Now it starts on the 1st ofDecember and the game is to not
hear Wham's version of LastChristmas for as long as you
possibly can.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
To be fair, though, steve, to be fair if you're
trying to avoid hearing LastChristmas try not to listen to a
christmas song themed podcast,true, but we're going to try and
circumnavigate this okay, sothat you know, because I don't
want people to to switch off toswitch off, but covers are
allowed so you can sing a bit.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
Can you sing a bit of ?
It uh, no, no, well, I think Ithink we can.
Either we'll either be playingsome some silence here, or we'll
be playing a very strange coverof it.
I couldn't tell you which one'sgoing to be good because a
cover is allowed, but we don'twant to upset anybody.
Also, I'd like you tocompletely ignore Guy, who's
seemingly telling us I've doneit for many years.

(40:47):
If you're doing Armageddon, youshouldn't be listening to this
podcast because that's pooradvertising.
You should be listening to thispodcast.
We have thought about thisAwful which is versus Mistress
for Christmas.

Speaker 4 (41:01):
Was it.
Mistress at Christmas.
Mistress for Christmas.

Speaker 1 (41:03):
Mistress for Christmas.
For Christmas by the lovelyACDC.

Speaker 4 (41:08):
Either way it's inappropriate.

Speaker 2 (41:10):
So it doesn't matter whether it's for Christmas or at
Christmas.
I mean, this is in a Christmasgenre of its own.

Speaker 3 (41:15):
I am the voice of Christmas.
Future, or is it?
It must be future anyway.
Imagine Wham last Christmas.
Yeah, just imagine it in yourhead, because Steve won't let me
put it in the edit.
Fucking Whamageddon.

Speaker 4 (41:55):
I recently went through a huge race and I never
stayed that age.
I don't know, maybe just hitthat age, I don't know went
through a kind of dive intoevery album, picked off my
favourite ones of all the songs.
I have no recollection of thissong and when I listened to it
in preparation for this I was,yeah, it's not good.

Speaker 2 (42:11):
It's Razor's Edge is the album it's on.
It's on Razor's Edge edge, soit's the first time they got the
new drummer it's quitesomething, isn't it?

Speaker 4 (42:18):
it doesn't even do, it doesn't even get anywhere.
For me it's like it's just.
It's just especially the lastway.

Speaker 1 (42:24):
Signs of the song the thing is, it's exactly the same
.
It's.
It's a.
There's a real through linehere to the ramones, um and uh,
chuck berry, because they're notdoing the christmas thing at
all.

Speaker 4 (42:38):
They're doing exactly what ramones and chuck berry
did, which is I'm just going todo a song in exactly the style I
do everything else kind ofchuck in some christmasy lyrics
but then, yeah, even the ramonessong, if you listen to it,
there's a synth bell halfwaythrough, which is the only thing
about it I genuinely dislike,and we can talk about it more in
the next round perhaps.
But this it doesn't get to likean ACDC riff, it doesn't get to

(42:58):
like an amazing kind ofkick-off moment.
It's just like, it's just blehit is later era ACDC.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
Do you want to hear what Brian Johnson said about it
?
Go on, it's about asking Santafor a little side action.
Oh, brian, that's not theChristmas spirit, is it?
Come on, mate?
I mean, it's the ACDC spirit.

Speaker 1 (43:17):
Fair Deuce is on brand, but I mean, come on, I
think he asks for a couple ofthem as well at some point,
isn't it?
It's like three in a bed.

Speaker 2 (43:25):
Yeah, he's getting greedy.

Speaker 1 (43:28):
Yes, one's enough, brian, one's enough.
So, brett, how are you voting?

Speaker 2 (43:34):
I'm waiting for you to vote, then I'm going to vote.

Speaker 1 (43:36):
Oh, I'm voting Wham.
Obviously I mean as much as Ilove ACDC, I mean you can't be
not voting Wham.

Speaker 2 (43:41):
I knew I was voting for Wham, but I just went to see
if we'd build any kind oftension, the kind of tension
that Brian Johnson is definitelyexperiencing in Mistress for
Christmas, christmas, and he'snever realized.
Um, the wham is the last song,um of of the opening rounds.
We're going to go to courtfinals, but it's an important
one for us because when we didour first podcast, we did a lot

(44:02):
of like the classic greatchristmas songs and I'm not
saying that these lot, these 16,are in any way not classics.
Of course that we're notscraping any type of barrel here
by doing this uh podcast.
But um, we forgot to put in LastChristmas by Wham and my wife
has been going on about that forthree years.
She's also been going on forthe last three years about we
need to do another Christmasepisode and I've managed, I

(44:23):
think, to keep it a surprise forher.
So happy Christmas, darling, ifyou hadn't worked out that
we're doing a Christmas episodebefore now.
But she loves this song.
So I definitely am voting forum wham on this occasion.
Well, george michael, really,but we'll get to that in the
next round well if it wins.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
You know you may have caused a problem here, because
there is a degree to which towhich, because it was left as an
off cut from the previousepisode it is.
It is an unassailable classicand I feel like a lot of the
other things in this list aren'tso well, we'll find out.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
Maybe that's what we're discovering maybe we're
discovering is there's a lotmore good christmas songs than
you think, because when youasked me to do this, I was like
I think we've done it.
There's no chance and when mywife has been banging on about
it for three years, to doanother episode, and to the
point where she makes me listento the first one we did as a
christmas tradition which isvery embarrassing to admit, but
she does, and then it's like Idon't think there's enough songs

(45:20):
, but actually, do you know what?
listening to it, I think thereis a lot of good songs here, so
yeah that's fair enough, rightthen.

Speaker 1 (45:27):
So we're into the, the quarterfinals.
Um, so the first quarteralready.
Look at that, bash straight in.
Uh, the first quarter final isthe ramones with merry christmas
.
I don't want to fight tonight.
Brackets, uh, versus lovelylady leona lewis, uh, with one
more sleep Five more days untilyou're coming home.

Speaker 7 (45:54):
Three more dreams if you were mistletoe, two more
reasons why I love you.

Speaker 6 (46:00):
So I got five more nights until you're next to me,
Merry Christmas.
I don't wanna fight tonight,Merry Christmas.
I don't wanna fight tonight,Merry Christmas.
I don't want to fight till I'mhappy, Merry Christmas.
I don't want to fight till I'mhappy.

Speaker 2 (46:18):
Ooh, I'm a bit worried now because I know Guy's
a big Lewis fan.

Speaker 1 (46:22):
Yeah, and you know that I'm not voting for the.
Ramones, I know you're notvoting for the Ramones.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
Well, I'm voting for it.
I'm voting for it, obviously.
I will vote for it to the day Idie.
It's from Brain Drain 1989album the remains all right,
hang on.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
Let's just take a moment here.
Brett, explain the ramones tome, because I don't get it um
well, they're the proto punkband.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
They're super hardcore punk.
How can I explain?

Speaker 1 (46:48):
you've got to feel it , it's visceral hardcore, it's
they are, they are no, you'rejust used to.

Speaker 2 (46:53):
No, you're just used to like heavier, harder sounding
, but like they were full-on,super fast, hardcore, the
hardest core.
Sons of bitches to play cbgbs.
Um, and so is that is it justthat?

Speaker 1 (47:05):
is it just that?
I can't.
Is it that thing of?
They were super sort ofhardcore and and and
groundbreaking at the time, butbecause I'd rather listen to
like black flag or something,now it's like I can't hear it
because it sounds like sort ofthe Beach Boys played fast.

Speaker 2 (47:20):
Yeah, but I mean, I think that's why they cut
through, because they do haveincredible punk credentials and
they were never properlysuccessful as well.
I mean talk about a band thathave never really been given the
due rewards for their hugecultural impact.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
I wouldn't deny that, totally, totally understand
that their cultural, you know,and I'm not saying that I
actively dislike them or or havea problem with them.
I I just I just can't.

Speaker 2 (47:46):
No, that's fair, but you don't get.
You don't really get punk, soit's really hard to explain what
it's a feeling, isn't it no?

Speaker 1 (47:54):
I did.
But the thing I don't think Itried, I, I, I, you know there
is punk stuff I listen to.
I mean, I, I do listen, youknow, as I say, I'll listen to
black flag and I'll listen tothe clash stuff and I, you know,
it's not, it's not my areaparticularly, but it, you know,
I will listen to it and I dolike it when it's more abrasive
than this.
And I, just, I, I, in some waysit's the melodicness of this

(48:14):
that confuses me, because if Ido listen to punk at all, I want
it to be more abrasive thanthis.
Well, he's so melodic.
I'm like what's happening?

Speaker 2 (48:23):
I don't understand this at all but that's, but
that's, yeah, I mean that's whythey're so good.
They've got the hardcore punkcredentials.
Every punk will love them.
But they've also got thisincredible cut with melody as
well.
That's joey ramone.
Johnny ramone is the hardcorefast shit.
Joey ramone is the is themelody.
The lover of phil speck's agirl tunes and that combination
is what makes them so enduringand make make them so different

(48:44):
and interesting.
And even you know, in 1989they've got a song they're
writing here, merry christmas,which, whatever we think about,
I really like it.
But it's a really popular songamongst like alternative rock
fans.
So it's like a littleunderground, sleeper christmas
hit.
For a lot of people this islike a really popular song.
So that's that's them.
You know you either get them oryou don't.
If you get them, you'reprobably going to go and watch

(49:05):
them seven nights in a row andlove it.
And if you don't, you don't.

Speaker 1 (49:08):
That is the ramones yeah, no, as I say, it's
definitely not one of thosebands where I'd push back and
say I think they're bad forthese reasons.
I absolutely don't.
It just doesn't connect with meat all.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
I think you just have to have.
It's like explaining you eitherhave that emotional response or
you don't.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
No, you've explained it really well.
Do you love Star Wars?

Speaker 2 (49:26):
or you don't.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
Yeah, there's no point trying.

Speaker 2 (49:29):
You just buy into that world or you don't.
You just buy into that world oryou don't.
What do you think of theRamones Guy?
What do you think of theRamones in comparison to Leona
Lewis?

Speaker 4 (49:37):
more pertinently, I like the Ramones.
I don't love them, I don't, youknow, hate them.
They're kind of good.
They're obviously the four orfive songs that you know, but
then you do hear them on.

Speaker 2 (49:49):
Desert Island.
I'm going to dump you on aDesert Island.
I'm going to dump you on aDesert Island, and you can even
take an Elvis Presley album orgreatest hits Elvis Presley
greatest hits or Ramonesgreatest hits.
What are you taking?

Speaker 4 (49:59):
Oh, it's the Ramones isn't it really Well done?
Good answer, correct.
I'd take Presley.
Of course you would.
If you take Presley, you'redying on the island.

Speaker 5 (50:05):
You take the Ramones you're swimming to be out you're
going to be like arms are going.

Speaker 2 (50:14):
You'll be listening to return to center going.
I wish I fucking could, butyou'll be listening to
blitzkrieg.

Speaker 4 (50:19):
Yes, I'm gonna just swim I'm gonna learn to swim
like a bitch um, yes, um, Ireally like that merry christmas
.
I really like, like I saidbefore, it's got these weird
bells in it, which I just wishit didn't have, because my
favorite type of honestly my, myfavorite type of christmas song
full stop is, uh, somethinglike christmas rapping, where

(50:40):
it's not a christmas song butit's the song of all time,
absolutely, absolutely, becauseit just sounds like christmas
for no reason, no reason, yeah,no reason at all.
It just sums up in some weirdsort of whether it's a, I don't
know, it's been synced in the TVor film over time, I don't know
what it is, but it's just in myblood.
It just sounds like Christmas.
Yes, if, if Merry Christmas Idon't want to fight tonight

(51:01):
Didn't have the little bells init, I would love it a lot more,
because it wouldn't.
It wouldn't feel like theRamones trying poppier box.

(51:22):
It sounds more like a blonde.
It sounds more like a blondiesong to me, weirdly, but um, it
is very good.
I have to say I love I love thelyric and I think it's a
sentiment that you know when wetalk about the tropes of lyrical
christmas songs I was talkingabout.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
Yeah, totally, you're right, that's a trope of
christmas.
It's the makeup of christmassong.
It's it's very tale of new york.
It's mary gildona.

Speaker 4 (51:31):
But it's like that's true, it's another trope.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
We found the fourth trope people.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
Yeah.
Okay so yeah, you've got thedeciding vote though, guy,
because Brett's clearly votingRamona, I'm clearly voting Leona
.

Speaker 4 (51:42):
I'm sorry, Marianna, but I'm going one more sleep.

Speaker 2 (51:44):
Fair enough.
I mean I moans romantic, aromantic.
Then you can interpret this asjoey talking to johnny.
You know, like we've there,famously fell out over a girl
who who was going out with joey.
Then johnny married and thennever really got, never became

(52:05):
friends again after, even thoughthey had a career of 20 years,
30 years together.
Maybe he's speaking to johnny,you know, let's just make up for
christmas and try and connectagain with that intense
friendship we had.
Who knows, who knows one forall you true romantics out there
some wild speculation from outthere.

Speaker 1 (52:21):
Trademark coined right.
The second quarterfinal isMacca's Wonderful Christmas Time
versus Ariana Grande's SantaBaby.
This is going to be.
This is going to be quitechallenging, santa, tell me.

Speaker 2 (52:54):
Well, can we get into the business of Christmas?
Like everyone does a Christmassong, don't they?
Like everyone's trying to gildthe pension, chris Martin,
trying to gild the pension, andthey either put in a good song
and they go for it or they justkind of go.
We've got an average song here.
Let's just put the wordChristmas on it and hope that it
fucking sells another 300,000copies because we've just shoved
Christmas in it.
But the business of christmas,wonderful christmas time.

(53:18):
We don't think of that as a bigmaca song, do we?
But according to forbesmagazine, how much do you reckon
he's made from that?
Or how much you reckon he makesper year from that, according?

Speaker 4 (53:25):
to probably, I'd say two and a half million Per year,
per year.
Okay.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
Steve, I wouldn't.
I mean, it'll be different nowwith streaming anyway, so it
would have been completelydifferent back in the day.
I couldn't put a figure on it,I wouldn't even know where to
start.

Speaker 2 (53:46):
For the sake of the quiz, for the sake of the fun,
for the sake of the format.

Speaker 1 (53:50):
It's like it's fucking playing along.
Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
700,000 quid no, I mean unfortunately, it's less
than that.
It's 400,000 a year, but overthe course pull your finger out,
macca yeah come on mate, butover the course of the time he's
done it, that's 20 milliondollars he's made from this one
song.
So if you have a Christmas hitor, you know, even a massive
christmas, this is not a massivechristmas song, is it didn't
get a macaroon goal firstepisode.

(54:14):
They still make a lot of moneyif you get it right.

Speaker 1 (54:18):
Yeah, no I mean it is yeah, it is a big christmas
song I probably might have withit in a way.
I think it's great in a lot ofways, but I I it does remind me
of a lot of very gray 80schristmases that I didn't
particularly enjoy as a kid forvarious reasons, and so I don't
have any associations with theAriana Grande song.

(54:40):
I have to say I'm enjoying thepop confection a lot.
I'm going early.
I'm voting Ariana Grande.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
But they're both.
These are both from the popcanon, so it's pop versus pop
and pop wins.
What are you voting for,langers?

Speaker 4 (54:56):
I'm going to go Macca .
I love Santa Tell Me I thinkit's again a really strong
modern day sort of reinventionof it.
But Macca does shine bright.

Speaker 2 (55:09):
Oh, it's amazing, it's amazing and this is
listeners keen listeners willknow this is McCartney's second
appearance in the Christmaspodcast.
That we do because he gotthrough famously and won.
Well, let's not spoil it,because if you want to go back
and listen to 2021's podcast,it's the next episode.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
Edit that out.
I'll edit that out.

Speaker 2 (55:29):
And bleep came second .
Maybe, who knows, this is hissecond appearance on the podcast
, so it's very exciting.
So I've got the deciding vote,which is, which is a privilege
for me.
Yes, you have, it sounds, tellme, I like, but it's.
It's very sexy, isn't it?
It's very sexy.
It's like it's happy xmas, morelike happy sexmas, really,
let's be honest.
She's got a very sexy vocal onit, which is only something an

(55:51):
american could do, I, I think,tell me, and it's just like
you're doing too much singingtonight.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
No, no.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
I'm not doing nearly enough.

Speaker 1 (55:59):
Guy and I have been very restrained.
There's been zero singing.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
Well, someone's got to do it.
It's Christmas.
This is a time to knock backand let it all loose.

Speaker 1 (56:08):
You should do more.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
I didn't sing and also, as you've introduced the
whole problem with Whamageddon,you're going to have to sing
Last Christmas at the end if itwins.
Oh, okay, that's fair enough, Ithink.
I think that's fair enough,isn't it?
Yeah, it's fair, you know, andit's just a bit too sexy for me,
steve.

Speaker 5 (56:23):
It's too American.
Could you imagine if a Britishperson would do it.

Speaker 2 (56:26):
They would maybe sing about.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
Santa tell me bring me some fish and chips.

Speaker 2 (56:32):
Yeah, get the christmas decks out of the loft.
Yeah, it's just, it's not gonnahappen, is it?
It's not gonna happen, I liketinsel.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
I like pictures on the mantelpiece.
Yeah, it would be much moreprosaic, wouldn't it right?
So maca goes through, whichbrings us to the third round of
the quarterfinals, which iselton.
Sir elton john's step intochristmas versus the dark.
This is very, very sillyChristmas song about bells I'd
like to sing about all thethings your eyes and mind can

(57:03):
see.

Speaker 3 (57:06):
So hop aboard, catch your devil.
Oh, Step Into Christmas with me.
Yeah, Step Into Christmas withme.
Yeah, Step into Christmas.
Let's run together.
We can run strong Through thegood and the bad.

Speaker 2 (57:24):
It's my strong.
Turn up the music.
It's my strong.
Turn up the music.
Christmas time, just when we'reliving In the dark.
Oh, this is a good semi-final.
Wow, this is great Christmaskitsch turned up to the rock max

(57:44):
, isn't it?
Woof when?

Speaker 4 (57:47):
do we start?
I feel torn.

Speaker 2 (57:50):
I bet you do, guy and I have got a bonding over the
darkness because we used to seethem in camden yes, yeah, well,
guys, how?
many years ago we did.
I know I'm taking you all theway back.
So, before the darkness becamemega successful and incredibly,
incredibly popular, incrediblyquickly.
They used to play at an indienight we used to go to at the um

(58:11):
, camden, barfly and and they'dcome on and we were.
We were proper indie kids likegarage rock and indie rock and
all of that, and they're verymuch pomp rock, aren't they?
Let's be honest, it's the bestway to describe them.
They're like the inheritors ofthe queen mantle and they just
blew us away.
They were amazing.
So when they came out andeveryone of our ilk was like, oh
no, I'm a bit too cool for this.

(58:31):
We had seen them play live tolike 100 people, with justin
hawkins being taken around witha radio mic, playing this
incredible solo on on a on aroadie's shoulders, walking into
the crowd and playing right upto.
It's incredible.
So we love them.
But obviously at that point,when they became hugely
successful in that year, theywere kind of seen as a bit if

(58:52):
you were a cool indie kid youwouldn't have liked them.
So you know which we kind ofwould have thought of ourselves
as so we had this kind of kindof duality of them.
Do you remember that langersany of that?

Speaker 4 (59:03):
vaguely vaguely.
I mean there were a lot ofindie club nights we went to, so
uh, but, yeah, but you'retotally right and uh, that's why
I think certain acts can doChristmas really really well and
excel at it, and they are justmade for a Christmas moment like

(59:24):
that.
But I'm going to go with EltonJohn.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
You're going to let the bells end, are you really?
I am going to let the bells end.
The bells are ending, brett.
How are you voting?

Speaker 2 (59:35):
How are you voting?
I don't want to play a bit ofChristmas.
How are you voting?
How am you voting?
How am I voting?
Fuck off, I mean, I'm going tovote for.
It's really difficult.
I like both.
I'm going to vote for theDarkness.
Don't let the bells end.

Speaker 1 (59:57):
Well, I've got the deciding vote on that one.
I struggle with the Darkness.
I've got to be honest with you.
I mean, first, they sound verymuch like Queen, which means
I've already got mixed feelings.
Secondly, I find the archness.
It's all so incredibly arch Ifind it archness.
It's all so incredibly arch.
I find it quite irritating.

Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
Starting the century, it was all the rage.
Irony.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
I like Justin Hawkins .
I think he's a reallyinteresting character.
I enjoy his content on theYouTubes these days a lot.
I think he's a reallyinteresting guy.
It's not that I dislike them,but it's just so.
It's like someone raising aneyebrow continuously without
lowering it for four minutes,and I just find that so tiresome

(01:00:44):
.
After a while it's like yeah, I, I get it.
I got it within 30 seconds.
I'm still getting it.
Oh, it's four minutes in.
Yeah, I still get it.
What can I just wait?
Yeah, it wears me out.
It wears me out.
Well, they had this.

Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
I'll tell you the story.
But they had this incrediblybig year, 2003, and they go from
playing indie clubs to me andguy and another 50 punters to
just being one of the biggestbands in the country, had a huge
, incredible year.
Um, at the end, kind of towardsthe end of that year, uh, the
guitarist, uh, dan hawkins,justin's brother, is out with
the nrma.
He's like what are you doingnext?
And he's like a bit pissed ah,we're gonna do a christmas song

(01:01:17):
because it's like november andit's oh, great, great, do it.
And then he's like oh, and danhawkins like shit, we need to
write this now.
They had a week to write it.
They write it, record it.
Uh, they go to the karang awardswhen the producer's recording
the kids choir, the children'schoir and justin hawkins only
note is make sure they sing thewords bells, end.
That's all I care about.

(01:01:37):
I don't care about harmonies oranything.
That's all I want to make sureis in there.
So it's very professional, uh,and then hawkins, at the end of
the year, is having this kind ofabsolute meltdown and he needs
to take himself off to france tojust kind of, you know,
reconstitute himself.
Because having, you know, thatkind of thing where you become
incredibly successful and youkind of your ego kind of
implodes and dies, um, and andthe record company goes no, no,

(01:01:59):
you've got to come back, comeback.
It's it's number one in themidweeks.
It's going to be christmasnumber one and it's up against
mad world, which was the yeardonnie darko came out.
You remember that cover of madworld.
Um, and he is, oh yeah, hecomes back.
He says in his own words, hegives loads of bitter interviews
and by the end of the week it'snumber two.
From being number one it goesto number two.

(01:02:21):
So he sunk his own at christmas.
That's so, that's so beautiful,isn't it the poetry of it?
And they chuck everything out.
That's great, it's great,that's great.

Speaker 1 (01:02:33):
Yeah, no, I get it, but yeah, I find it tiring.
So Elton goes through, whichbrings us to the final round of
this section, which is thequalifying no, not the
qualifying the quarterfinals.
The final of the quarterfinals.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
Well done, you're doing a great job.
This is fantastic.
I'm not confused at all.

Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
I can't cope with all this sports nonsense.
This is the fourth quarterfinalwhich makes sense because
quarters is fours.

Speaker 2 (01:02:59):
Oh my god, stop doing shit maths.

Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
Right, it's Wham vs Springsteen.

Speaker 4 (01:03:06):
Go, I'm still here Still can't bloody play Wham, so
you know, imagine it in yourhead again.

Speaker 2 (01:03:35):
Check it in twice head again.
Oh, wham vs Springsteen, that'seasy.
We need to cut some time out.
It's obviously Wham Springsteen, that's easy, we need to cut
some time out.
It's obviously Wham Springsteenlove you, but you've got to go.
Come on, it's last.

Speaker 1 (01:03:42):
Christmas.
Yeah, the Springsteen thing's agood idea.
It's got to go right, Guy.
Do you agree with that, Wouldyou?

Speaker 4 (01:03:46):
have voted.
Springsteen, I was Wham beforeyou even finished the question.

Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
Oh, you had me at Wham.
Even before we waked him up,before he went, went he was,
which brings us to thesemi-finals, semi-finals.
Can you work this out right,steve the?

Speaker 2 (01:04:01):
semi-finals two.
So it's half.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
That's the fraction you're looking for two of the
semi-finals, right, so we've gotif you get to a third
semi-final you fucked it ohright, we've got Sir Paul
McCartney with his wonderfulChristmas time, which is all one
word Nice.
Yeah, good, it's verynon-grammatical yeah, and lovely
Leona Lewis with her.
One more sleep.

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
Ooh, this is going to torture Guy Langley, I know
that, so I'm going to watch backand sit back and enjoy it
Langley over to you.

Speaker 1 (01:04:25):
He's in pain.
Look at him, he's in pain.
What?

Speaker 2 (01:04:28):
do you reckon, Langers?

Speaker 4 (01:04:37):
Happy Christmas.
To tough it out, steve.
He tried to tough it out.
I love that, just because youknow what Macca's doing.

Speaker 1 (01:04:39):
Alright, he's fine, he doesn't need us.
He's getting 400 grand a year.
He's made 400 grand a yearexactly he is flying.

Speaker 4 (01:04:45):
I love it and I'm lucky enough to know a lot of
the people that made that songhappen and I think it's it's and
I've sort of said it's a kindof a new Christmas standard, but
it genuinely is.
I genuinely think that's reallyhard to achieve and what
they've managed to do issomething that should be
celebrated and rewarded really,and I think it's just a really

(01:05:08):
beautiful, great pop song.

Speaker 2 (01:05:10):
It is very good pop song.

Speaker 1 (01:05:11):
yeah, it's very good, steve Brett, I'm pretty clear
which way you're going to vote,though.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
Well, it's the podcast called Macrin Goal.
I finagled for McCartney lasttime hard, so why change now?
You know, christmas isn't forchanging.
It's for staying exactly thesame and doing exactly what we
did the year before and the yearbefore and the year after.
So I'm voting.
I really have enjoyed the Leonaleona lewis song.
It is really good it it's.

(01:05:41):
It's absolutely immaculatemodern pop done perfectly.
So 10 out of 10 for it and forall everyone you know who's on
it but I love me some maca, soI'm voting for wonderful
christmas time.
Steve, the deciding vote is toyou, and that's enjoyable for me
.
I can sit back and enjoy that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:58):
Well, no, I need to ask.
Would our friendship survive mevoting for Leona Lewis over
Paul McCartney?

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
It survived you voting for fucking Coldplay,
fucking Coldplay, fuckingColdplay over the Ramones.
So it definitely survived this100%.
Okay, I feel dirty that.

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
I voted for Coldplay over anything.
Yeah, I know, I can't believewhat the fuck, you're in some
kind of fever dream no, that wasBob Dylan oh, hang on, I need
to think back as to why I didthat.
It was because the song itselfgrew on me and I quite liked the
sort of big strange.

Speaker 2 (01:06:28):
Yeah, yeah, okay, I mean, do a lot of therapy to
really work out why he did it Inthe cold light of day that does
feel like a controversialdecision In the cold play, light
of day, wow.

Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
Nonetheless, I'm voting for Leonel Lursey.
It's a magnificent tune it isgreat.
I have to say that the Maccatune, I think, has aged not
terribly well in comparison tosome other Christmas songs.
There are some other Christmassongs which don't sound of their
era and it just sounds soincredibly of its era.

(01:07:02):
It's not even the best macachristmas song.
No, exactly exactly so.
Maca's going shock horror, uh,which means for the second, I
believe, semi-final, uh, we'vegot elton john versus the wham.

Speaker 6 (01:07:12):
You know the deal.
Fucking Whamageddon.

Speaker 2 (01:07:34):
Oh the Wham.
I mean it's tough.
Do you know what?
Can I just talk?

Speaker 1 (01:07:36):
about Elton for a second here, please do.
Oh the wham.
I mean, this is tough.
Do you know what?
Can I just talk about Elton fora second here, please do.
I've always struggled with thissong for one very specific
reason, which is a very, verymuso reason.
Does anyone want to?

Speaker 2 (01:07:49):
For a musical reason, not a lyrical reason or a
conceptual reason.

Speaker 1 (01:07:52):
I would say it's a musical reason, but I would say
it's a very muso reason, as inin, you know, production, it's a
production reason.
There's a okay production.

Speaker 2 (01:07:59):
Okay, well, I'll see if you can guess what my issue
is.
As a producer, I'll get it as aproducer of superb music.
Um, obviously there's guy, butI'm gonna tell you guy, what do
you think it is?

Speaker 4 (01:08:12):
I think it's got.
You're not a fan of the reverbthe full specter is it's full
specter, isn't it?
It all're not a fan of thereverb the full spectre is it's
full spectre, isn't it?
It all comes back to spectre.
I'm never a fan of that.
No, I'm never a fan of that.

Speaker 1 (01:08:20):
It's an excellent guess.
It's not that it is slapped inreverb.
That's one of the greatest riffsin any Christmas song Do, do,
do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
Mixed so low.
It's way too low in the mix.
It's ridiculous.
But to the point where ifyou're driving, like in a car,

(01:08:42):
you won't hear that riff.
You'll you'll just hear thatit's sort of vaguely a song and
then you'll hear his vocalkicking.
That riff is the best thingabout this song.
It's far too low in the mix.
It drives me to distraction.
I don't know why no one'sremixed it.
Just what you can whack it upto double strength and it would
still not be enough.

Speaker 4 (01:09:01):
It's such a great riff you're right, the riff is
really good.
I don't, I don't struggle withit personally.
I.
I like the, I like the full-onspecterist sort of you know if
it was phil specter.

Speaker 1 (01:09:12):
he would have like double, triple, quadrupled it
with another instrument, butit's just a really weedy
acoustic guitar playing thisawesome riff.
And it's like a really weedyacoustic guitar that doesn't
sound like it's been doubled ormixed properly.
It's just like Welcome to myChristmas.
I was like why can't we havethe riff properly?

(01:09:34):
It's one of the few times Iwouldn't have mind if he had
phil spected it and, like youknow, tripled it up with a
balalaika as well or somethingbig words okay, cool, well, I
like it, uh, but it's no, butit's you, look like you.

Speaker 4 (01:09:50):
We're now into the stage where it's like these,
like bonafide, proper, all-timeclassic christmas songs I'm
nitpicking, it's great yeah, butyou've.
You have to nitpick, don't you?
Because what else?
How else are you going toseparate them?
Right, exactly my point um, andI can't make up my mind yet, so
I'm going to defer to brettelton john right, as he loves

(01:10:11):
himself, a christmas song.

Speaker 2 (01:10:13):
He's made a lot of attempts.
This is his first attempt in1970 I I think 1974, which is,
which is one of the first goldenyears for Christmas songs, by
the way.
Um, and he wrote this this ison, I think, the Olympic road uh
, goodbye.
And then he's.
He's written cold as Christmas,in the middle of the year,
brackets.
Um, he's written Merry EdSheeran.
He's even been on the Lad BabyChristmas single.

(01:10:35):
I think it's Sausage Rolls forChristmas, which has the
immortal moment where LaetereElton John sings Get to the
kitchen for Sausage Rolls, getto the kitchen for Sausage Rolls
, but obviously Laetere EltonJohn just sings the vowel sound.
So it's just fucking amazing IfI could get that.

Speaker 3 (01:10:54):
Let's have a grim of your Sausage Rolls.

Speaker 2 (01:10:56):
Get to the kitchen for fucking amazing.
If I could get that, yeah, if Icould get that as a as a as a
ringtone, I would be fuckingjoyous.
It's incredible, um, but thebest one he did apart from this
is merry christmas, maggiethatcher.
Have you heard that one?
So merry christmas, maggie,that may.

Speaker 3 (01:11:18):
God's love be with you.
We all sing together in onebreath.
Merry Christmas, MaggieThatcher.
We all celebrate today To livethe one day closer to your death
.
Whoa, it's extraordinary.
Have you ever heard of it?
It's a day to live the one dayClose to your death.

Speaker 2 (01:11:38):
Whoa, it's extraordinary.
Have you ever heard of it?
It's extraordinary, it's gotsome incredible lines in it.
Basically, it's a song he wroteabout Maggie Thatcher, I think
after the kind of miners' strikein the 80s, and some of the
lyrics are just unbelievablybrutal.
I mean they've got so.
Merry Christmas, maggieThatcher, may God's love be with
you.
We all unbelievably, uh brutal.
I mean they've got uh.

(01:11:58):
So merry christmas, maggiethatcher, may god, may god's
love be with you.
We all sing together in onebreath.
Merry christmas, maggiethatcher.
We all celebrate today becauseit's one day closer to your
death.
Merry christmas everyone.

Speaker 1 (01:12:09):
Wow, wow, michael can I request you this episode that
that we might west on drop,that we get a little clip of
that, because that sounds quitespectacular it's when I was
doing the research.

Speaker 2 (01:12:19):
Like fucking hell, what is this?
It's extraordinary, that's, youknow, because we think
interesting point, christmascomes around every year.
It's the same, isn't it?
And you think everythingprogresses and changes.
But, like at the moment, likeyou can say, we're in quite a
like a politically um polemictime.
But you go back to the mid-'80sor the early-'80s and it was
the same again Very, very stronginvective and things coming out

(01:12:40):
.
This is pre-internet, so it'sall happened before people and
Christmas reminds us of that.
It just goes around.

Speaker 4 (01:12:48):
Yeah, you've got to love Elton, though.
He's a social advocate, he'sdone amazing things and you know
the man wants a christmas hitand he like he should have
stopped after the first time, inmy opinion, because he bloody
nailed it with step intochristmas yeah all right, I I
think I've got.

Speaker 1 (01:13:02):
If you're it's all struggling between the two,
here's the test that I.
That helps me know which oneI'm going to vote for.
On top of the riff issue, canyou sing me or even tell me what
the words are to the chorus forstep into christmas?
Can you go step or even tell mewhat the words are to the
chorus for Step Into Christmas?
Can you go step into Christmas?

Speaker 4 (01:13:21):
and then sing me the rest of it.

Speaker 2 (01:13:23):
No no and I don't care While we're there, why the
fuck are you?

Speaker 1 (01:13:27):
No, I can't.
Can you do it with LastChristmas by Wham?
Yes, immediately, exactly mypoint, and that's the other
issue with Step Into Christmasis.

Speaker 4 (01:13:39):
No one has a fucking clue what the words are, but
that's the best thing about it.
That's like, because everyonegoes when you're pissed, you can
do that, can't you?
That's what happens howeverwhat I mean.

Speaker 2 (01:13:48):
What is step into?
Who steps?
Oh, when you're off forchristmas, uh, bob, oh yeah, I'm
stepping into christmas on the19th.
You don't fucking step intochristmas, you step into puddle,
you step into dog shit.
You, you step into dog shit.
You do not step into Christmas.
I'm voting for last Christmas.

Speaker 1 (01:14:00):
Have that.
Yes, that's good.
Well, you do step into nicethings as well.
You do step into, likechildren's birthday parties.

Speaker 2 (01:14:07):
What?
Who says I'm going to step intolittle Bobby's birthday party?
No one does.
What are you talking?

Speaker 1 (01:14:12):
talking about that's right.
You could step into a chemist.

Speaker 2 (01:14:17):
There are nice things in chemists Come on you're ill,
you go into a chemist becauseyou're fucking ill.

Speaker 1 (01:14:22):
Give me something nice you step into, I step into
a chemist to buy a nice soapCondoms, a nice smelly soap or
condoms for fun times.
Exactly, I think there areplenty of things that are nice
that you would step into.
I've stepped in here to buysoap and condoms.

Speaker 2 (01:14:40):
I'm voting for Last Christmas.
What are you voting for?
All right?

Speaker 4 (01:14:43):
Guy, how are you voting?
I'm voting Steph into Christmasbecause it makes me feel good,
not sad.

Speaker 1 (01:14:47):
Okay, oh man, I think , because I've made the
arguments now, I think, becauseof the low mixing of the
brilliant riff and the fact thatno one knows what the chuffing
lyrics are, I'm gonna have to gowham.
Because it is.
They're both stone coldclassics.
Yeah, I'm going wham so well itis.
It's the right thing whichbrings us to a very interesting
and very, very poppy final.

Speaker 2 (01:15:09):
Oh, I mean if the answer to the question is what's
going to win?

Speaker 1 (01:15:12):
rock or pop it's an unbelievable victory yes, I mean
when we're not asking thatquestion, but if we were asking
that question pop has absolutelynailed it.
Yeah, pop has destroyed rock.
Uh, all the way through.
But we are now at the final,which is one more sleep by
lovely lady leo lewis versus thewham with their last christmas

(01:15:34):
offering pop.

Speaker 2 (01:15:35):
Just before we do that, I just want to go through
some of the christmas numberones that have been before,
because they're interesting.
I'm looking at it today and youlook back at them and you're
like, oh, it does say somethingabout the times you're in.
So in the 50s there were veryfew Christmas singles.
Weirdly, as we kind ofdiscussed with Run, rudolph Run,
it wasn't really a thing.
There was Mary's Boy Child in57.
Then in thing there was, uh,mary's boy child in 57.

(01:15:59):
Then the 60s is just a dearth.
There's nothing because musicis so popular at that point.
Uh, rock and roll is so big,there's just not a space for
there to be like time forchristmas number one.
It's the beatles, or you knowwhatever.

Speaker 1 (01:16:08):
What about all of the rat pack and stuff and all of
them doing all of those sort?

Speaker 2 (01:16:12):
of.
They may have been doing it,but they weren't number one.
What I'm saying is is theChristmas number one shows us
some kind of point to what'sgoing on in society.
So then you go down to 1973,the golden year for Christmas
singles Slade versus Wizard,merry Christmas everybody or
Merry Christmas everybody wins.
Then next year is anotherChristmas single with Mud, and
then 1975, there's BohemianRhapsody, which we'll come back

(01:16:33):
to.
So then that's like a kind ofthe golden year Rhapsody which,
which we'll come back to.
So then that's like a kind ofthe golden era.
It's a real kickoff for theChristmas season and the idea of
the Christmas number one.
The 80s you're getting again.
You're getting a differentthing happen.
You're getting kind of a part.
You're getting novelty in 1980if there's no one, quite like
grandma, which is not really aChristmas song but it was kind
of that sentimentality ofChristmas.
And then you're getting thestart in 1984 of what?

(01:16:55):
What comes?
Number one at Christmas 1984?
Band-aid, maybe that's right.
And it's up against LastChristmas, by the way.
It's up against Last Christmasand Last Christmas is one of the
biggest selling songs to never,ever get to number one at that
point when it's released.
So it loses out to Don't Know,it's Christmas.
And then there's anotherChristmas song with Merry
Christmas everyone, with ShakenStevens, and then you get to

(01:17:17):
Band Ed again.
So the 80s is the year for kindof like the big, kind of
anthemic Christmas songs andthat.
Then you get to the 90s whereit's weirdly, you get two things
happen.
In the 90s, you get what isnumber one in 93?
Mr Blobby, children's kind ofcartoon characters.
And then again in 2000, bob theBuilder with Can we Fix it?

(01:17:40):
Yes, we can.
The B side to that is oof, it'sgoing to cost you.
And then in the again in the2000s, what happens?
Reality TV, x Factor Popstarsthere's about five or six of
them.
And then what happens?
Rage Against the Machine XFactor Popstars there's about
five or six of them.
And then what happens?
Rage Against the Machine, thekind of the attempt, the

(01:18:00):
concerted attempt, because theinternet has now become a thing.
We've all got smartphones since2007,.
And people can get on board andgo actually, no, we don't.
And that we want Rage Againstthe Machine.
Do you have anything to?
He's sitting back in his chair.
And then what do we have afterthat?
We have, in 2011, militarywives at number one with gareth,
malone, the choir, uh, thejustive collective, and then in

(01:18:24):
from 2018 to 2022, the sameartist has had a christmas
number one.
Do you know?
That is that baby.
Yes, and they're all charitysingles.
So they're kind of againharnessing the internet to kind
of leverage the fact you can getaway with christmas number one
with a lot less sales these days.
And there you go.
There is a sociologicalexplanation of christmas number

(01:18:44):
ones.
So it's the final what's thefinal steve?

Speaker 1 (01:18:48):
the final is one more sleep by leon lewis versus uh
last christmas, by the way.

Speaker 7 (01:18:59):
Last Christmas by.

Speaker 2 (01:19:06):
The Wham, oh, both immense big hitters for the
christmas.
I think I know how this isgoing and I don't know if
there's anything like.
I'm sorry, I mean, well, Idon't think there's anything I

(01:19:27):
can do about this, but if youwant to know what I'm voting for
, it's obviously last christmas,of which george michael a
played all the songs himself,all the all the instruments
himself.
He played all the instrumentshimself did he?
yeah, he did apparently he, he.
It was done as a wham song.
And then I I believe I'm gonnahave to fact check this later
that he donated it all to theband-aid uh fund because it's

(01:19:51):
come out the same year asband-aid.
You've got these two mega years, 73, where there's these two
big songs going for christmasnumber one, and this is 84.
The second time it happensband-aid versus george michael
for sure, okay, so you're goingwham.

Speaker 1 (01:20:03):
So I've really, really, really enjoyed getting
into this leona lewis song, butI think in the final furlong
wham are gonna have to take itbecause it is.
It is an absolute classic.
I think it's dated really wellyeah I just think it's, it's
just, it's a great.
So you know of the well done inmy me and my partner trope yeah

(01:20:25):
, it's one of the absolute bestand invented, invented that
trope.

Speaker 2 (01:20:28):
I think this song, I think he invented a trope with
this yes, all right, yes,possibly, but no, I mean, I
think.

Speaker 1 (01:20:34):
I think that I love.

Speaker 4 (01:20:35):
It's one of those times where I think the
keyboards date it, but in a goodway, but it has strangely
become modern sounding againbecause of pop music at the
moment, especially the last fiveyears, has a fascination with
the 80s and the synths of the80s and the drum sounds of the
80s.
So because it is so unashamedly80s, it's kind of come back

(01:20:57):
around again, and I think that'swhy I think for me as well,
that's why I'm voting for it aswell, Because I think it just
it's here to stay, isn't it thatsong?
And I think it's a testament toGeorge.
Michael as a songwriter and anartist and it's also sonically,
just, you know, really forwardfor the time it came out and

(01:21:17):
it's kind of come back aroundand been on vogue again.

Speaker 2 (01:21:20):
It's extraordinary, and I know someone in my house
who will love the winner of thispodcast, but I lied about it
never being number one, becausedo you know what happened in
2023?
Fans got together and boughtthe record and streamed the
record and it became number one.
So when was it number one?
Last Christmas?

(01:21:43):
It's so perfect, um, and I'msorry if you're playing
whamageddon, but we've got toplay it, so you've got a warning
.
Now it's going to be played infive, four, three, two wham.
Happy christmas everyone.
Thanks for listening.
Remember sing along loud at thechorus.

Speaker 7 (01:21:57):
Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next
day you gave it away.
This year, to save me fromtears, I'll give it to someone
special, one special special.

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