Picking the Perfect Place for Your Senior Parents

It’s time to move your loved one into assisted living. It’s a very hard decision… whether your loved one is for it or against it. Coming to that realization is hard enough, but what about the plethora of choices about where to go? In this episode, Millennium Physician Group’s Michelle McCormick talks with a senior housing placement advisor about important steps you need to take to make the transition as gentle as possible.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to Medicare Connect Radio, sponsored by
Millennium Physician Group.
I'm Michelle McCormick.
Every week we're talking aboutthe healthcare issues that are
important to you.
Whether you're 65 or older,approaching 65, or maybe you're
just making healthcare decisionsfor a loved one who's in their
golden years.
We're inviting providers andexperts to share insights, to
help you take control of yourhealthcare decisions.
Well, it's time to move yourloved one into assisted living.

(00:23):
It's a very hard decisionwhether your loved one is for it
or against it.
Coming to that realization ishard enough.
But what about the plethora ofchoices about where to go?
In this episode, we're talkingwith a senior housing placement
advisor about important stepsyou need to take to make the
transition as gentle aspossible.
But first founded in PortCharlotte, Florida in 2008, and

(00:44):
now headquartered in Fort Myers.
Millennium Physician Group hasquickly become the leading
independent physician group withmore than 800 healthcare
providers across the southeastnationally.
Recognized as a leader invalue-based care with
consistently high levels ofphysician engagement.
Millennium aims to create agenuinely connected healthcare
experience for patients byproviding a comprehensive and

(01:04):
coordinated approach tohealthcare.
We also wanna be your connectionto a healthier life.
Learn more and schedule yournext primary care.
Visit us online atwww.millenniumphysician.com
according to assistedliving.org.
That, yep, it's real website outthere folks.
Senior seniors residing inassisted living facilities have
a monthly average cost rangingfrom 3,500 to over 10,000 per

(01:27):
month.
Florida comes in, surprisinglyas the least expensive state, as
well as one of the mostbeautiful, of course, assisted
living services here, averagearound$3,000 a month for all
inclusive care.
Memory care averages about 4,400and independent living centers
averaged around 2300.
But, but we are, we're gettingway ahead of ourselves.
Which one's right though, foryour loved one?

(01:49):
And we're gonna answer thathopefully today.
Our guest today is Dave SteveGlitz.
He is a certified Senior advisorwith Oasis Senior Advisors in
northeast Florida.
Dave, hi.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
.
Hi, Michelle.
Good to be here.
So

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Happy you're here.
This is such a great topic.
Um, we, we are going to learn somuch about this today, but
first, let's learn about Dave.
Let's learn about you.
What brought you, um, into, intothis, uh, arena really?

Speaker 2 (02:13):
Well, it was, it was an interesting journey.
I was 30 years a country clubgeneral manager, as you know,
.
Um, and it was a great career,had met a lot of wonderful
people, but it was time to dosomething different.
You know, there's a book outthere called From Success to
Significance.
Mm-hmm.
, and do somethingmeaningful other than wiping the
noses of snotty little kids.
Right, right.
Like to play old sandcastles inyour sand traps.
Right.
Um, so, you know, I was lookingat options and I, and I came

(02:36):
across this concept of, of thisfree service that helps people
navigate this maze of seniorhousing.
You know, it's often thrust uponthem.
Mm-hmm.
, you know, mom isliving very well at home, you
know, and she's been in the homefor 30 years and, and she
doesn't want to go, but shefalls and breaks a hip and the
doctor says, you can't go backhome.
You know, there's stairs,there's narrow pathways and

(02:57):
things like that.
You have to find assisted livingand, you know, here's a list.
Right.
We'll find one.
Right.
Right.
Now, how are you gonna navigatethat?
How are you gonna know?
I mean, this is where you'regonna live.
You know, let's, there's a lotof factors to that.
And, and so that, to be able tocome in as an expert, a, a
subject matter expert, and offermy service for free, I love the
business model.
Mm-hmm.
that I don't haveto sell you anything.
You don't have to pay meanything, but I'm gonna provide

(03:19):
you that service to guide you tothe best match for you and your
needs.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Well, and, and we have a lot of good stories
coming up too, Dave.
So, but first, let's, let's talkabout what you were saying.
All of a sudden, this issomething that could be thrust
upon you and your loved one, andall of a sudden you're a
caregiver that you weren'texpecting to be, or you've been
a caregiver and it's just gottento be too much.
So what I was talking about whenwe first introduced you was the
cost.
I mean, it's really expensiveand I think they're now with

(03:45):
baby boomers and, and more agingpeople and people living longer.
We have a, maybe even a dilemmaon our hands of, of where to go.
I mean, are these placesavailable?
Are they affordable?
But let's talk about theassisted living cost and, and
how it's paid for.

Speaker 2 (04:01):
Okay.
Yeah.
So, and I would say your numberswere a little on the low side.
Okay.
Okay.
I mean, they may be a littleoutdated.
Okay.
I mean, I mean, with, with fairenough inflation the last couple
years.

Speaker 1 (04:09):
I agree.
They've jumped up.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
Fair enough.
They've jumped up.
But I would say, you know, I,well, I can find decent assisted
living starting about 2,500 and,and going up from there, but
yeah, up easily into the six,seven and 8,000 mm-hmm.
memory care, goodmemory care is gonna run about
5,000 or more.
Um, and independent living, Imean, you, you've got your, your
HUD subsidized, you know, uh,places dotted around town, but

(04:33):
you've got some pretty fancyones too.
Sure

Speaker 1 (04:34):
Do.
They're like really nice,really, really nice cruise ships
on land cruise

Speaker 2 (04:38):
Ships, on land resort type living.
Um, that you can get a onebedroom at about 35 to 3,800 and
a two bedroom around, you know,in the mid four to, to fives.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
Yeah.
Which is costly for some.
Yeah.
Which is,

Speaker 2 (04:49):
It

Speaker 1 (04:49):
Is.
Well you touched on somethingthere too.
Let's, let's go back.
What is the difference then?
So let, we talked aboutindependent living.
You just mentioned assistedliving and you mentioned memory
care, but what, and then there'salso skilled nursing.
So let's define those.

Speaker 2 (05:01):
Okay.
So independent living, there'sno license.
Okay.
Assisted living has to have alicense there and license and
inspected by the

Speaker 1 (05:08):
State.
Now, are most 55 and overcommunities gonna be independent
living?
That's where we are startingwith independent living

Speaker 2 (05:16):
Actually,

Speaker 1 (05:17):
Or is independent living just me and my house
still?

Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yes.
I mean, you have independent,you have, you have the Dell Web
communities.
Right.
You have a variety of plus 55 bydeed restriction.
Right.
Okay.
That are independent living.
There's no medical componentthere.
Okay.
Okay.
And then you have a handful of,uh, of, of other types of
communities, uh, you know, aWindsor point and inspirations
at the town center that, youknow, they're providing more
than than the Dell Web, cuzthey're gonna provide some

(05:39):
meals.
Mm-hmm.
, they're gonnaprovide some housekeeping,
they're gonna providetransportation.
Right.
But they are still not licensed.
They cannot provide medical, butthey also typically have home
health companies doing rounds.
Mm-hmm.
.
So anything that can beprescheduled, I want someone to
come by three days a week tostand by while I'm showering.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
Well, and that might be more of something that a, a
person who wants to be aroundmore people rather than like the
Dell Webs, which are kind ofindividual homes that are being
built.
Yes.
In a

Speaker 2 (06:03):
Community, it's kind of a progression.
Okay.
You, you have your own house oryour own apartment, and then you
want to be, I wanna be justaround seniors.
So you go to Dell Web and veryrobust, lots of activities and
wonderful things, but you haveto kind of initiate that mm-hmm.
, um, and then intothese that are still
independent, but it's morecongregate living, more
apartment style, living with alot of things just right outside
your door Okay.
That you don't have to drive to.
Okay.
Um, and, and the beginning ofsome medical help by these home

(06:26):
health companies that are intheir rounding.
Okay.
But then you get into licensedcommunities.
Okay.
Licensed assisted living, uh,memory care operates under an
assisted living license, uh, buthas a different level of care.
So assisted living, um, you'rebasically gonna get, again,
three meals a day in therestaurant.
You're gonna get weeklyhousekeeping, you'll get
transportation.
A very robust transportationprogram.
Mm-hmm.
, um, all kinds ofactivities, just about any card

(06:48):
game under the sun.

Speaker 1 (06:50):
, lots of puzzles.
I see puzzles all the

Speaker 2 (06:51):
Time.
Bingo.
I think it's state law, you haveto have bingo.
All right.
But, uh, you know, just a veryactive lifestyle.
But they have, because of theirlicense, they can bring help to
you for your, what's calledADLs, activities of daily
living.
Okay.
Bathing, dressing, toileting,bringing your medications if
you're having troubleremembering the right ones to
take and win mm-hmm.
.
And, and they can start thatprocess.
Now, there's three levels oflicensing for assisted living in

(07:15):
the state of Florida.
A standard license, I can batheyou dress your toilets, you give
you your meds.
As long as they're oral meds.
I can't do a diabetic injection.
I can't administer oxygen, Ican't manage a catheter.
Okay.
Things that are a little bitmore clinical.
Um, there's, the l n s is themiddle license, limited nursing
services.
They can manage catheters, theycan do diabetic injections and
things like that.

(07:35):
And then the highest level isecc, extended congregate care.
Okay.
They can do a feeding tube.
Wow.
They can do colostomy, they cando a lot of clinical things in
the assisted living setting.
Hmm.
So, I mean, a part of, of, of myprocess is tell me what's going
on clinically.
Cuz if you tell me, well, dadhas Parkinson's, well, I'm only
gonna consider ECC licensedcommunities cuz there's a,

(07:57):
there's a clinical journey forhim mm-hmm.
.
Um, so, you know that that's a,an important factor.
A lot of people don't realizeyou can't just walk into any
assisted living and expect thatthey can give mom her diabetic
injection.
If she can't do it herself.
Many of'em can't.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
What about Medicare?
Does Medicare help cover y anyof those levels?

Speaker 2 (08:15):
A lot of people think so, but no, Medicare is your
health insurance.
Okay.
So Medicare, you go to thehospital, you go to the doctor,
or short-term rehab mm-hmm.
Medicare willcover, but this is long-term
housing.
Medicare doesn't pay any ofthat.
Okay.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Yeah.
I think there's a, a hugeconfusion there.
Yes, there is.
So it's really good to hear youkind of say hard.
No.
You know, it's like, no, this isinsurance.
This is living very differentthings.
Right, right.
All right.
Our conversation today with DaveStieglitz.
He's a certified senior advisorwith Oasis Senior Advisors here
in Northeast Florida.
And when we return, we're gonnacontinue this conversation.
We actually, we used my mom, we,we used your service with my

(08:52):
grandmother and, and placed herand, and she's very happy where
she is.
We're very happy with where sheis.
So we're gonna get a little bitmore into what you guys provide
in the next segment.
So stick around.
Medicare Connect Radio sponsoredby Millennium Physician Group
will be right back.
Welcome back to Medicare ConnectRadio, sponsored by Millennium
Physician Group.
I'm Michelle McCormick.
Every week we're talking aboutthe healthcare issues that are

(09:14):
important to you.
If you're 65 or older,approaching 65, or maybe you're
making healthcare decisions fora loved one, we invite providers
and experts to share insights,help you take control of your
healthcare decisions.
Well, when it's time to moveyour loved one into an assisted
living or even memory care, it'sa very hard decision whether
your loved one is for it oragainst it.
And coming to the realization ishard enough.

(09:35):
In this episode, we are talkingwith Dave Stieglitz.
He's a certified senior advisorwith Oasis Senior Advisors here
in northeast Florida.
And Dave, in the first segment,we touched on independent living
, uh, assisted living.
Let's go back and, and covernext step little bit of memory
care and skilled nursing.
Sure,

Speaker 2 (09:53):
Sure.
So yeah, there all thesedifferent options are out there.
So, you know, again, mom'sliving at home and she says, I'm
going out feet first.
Mm-hmm.
, but thingshappen.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
We know things happen.
So, you know, let's talk about,and, and, and people kind of
blend these all together mm-hmm.
Skilled nursing and assistedliving.
And especially this generation.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
Well, a lot of people still call'em nursing homes.
Exactly.
I mean, that's not even a termwe use anymore, is it?

Speaker 2 (10:13):
It's, no, it's not.
And I mean, and that's thatparadigm of the older
generation, because that's allthat they had.
Mm-hmm.
, you either putmom in the home mm-hmm.
or, or that's it.
But the, the, the assistedlivings and memory cares these
days have come so much farther.
And many of our seniors reallydon't realize how, how, how nice
a place that they can be.
Um, so when they say, don't putme in the home, they're
envisioning skilled nursing.
So let's talk about that.
Skilled nursing.

(10:34):
Um, well, actually assistedliving, you can go to assisted
living by the state law.
You have to be able to be, uh,somewhat weightbearing.
Okay.
As long as you can put both feeton the ground.
Mm-hmm.
, you can beassisted by what they call a two
person transfer.
That's one person on each elbow.
But you've got to be able to putboth feet on the ground in this
standup and pivot and transferprocess.
Okay.
You can't be, what they calltotally bedbound deadweight need

(10:56):
a hoyer lift and need a slidebar, some type of mechanical
transfer process.
As long as you can do that, youcan go into assisted living.
So a lot of people don't realizethat their loved ones can be in
a wheelchair Hmm.
And go to assist.
Mm-hmm.
, they think thatskilled nursing is the only
option.
So assisted living versusskilled nursing.
Skilled nursing is like livingin a hospital.
It's very clinical hospitalbeds, buzzes, beepers, things

(11:17):
like that.
People poking and prodding and,and you know, it's just a very
clinical thing.
I don't wish skilled nursing onanybody.
Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
.
It's a tough environment in our,in our region.
What's an example of a skillednursing

Speaker 2 (11:27):
Facility?
So, yeah, I mean, life care ofJacksonville Consulate
Healthcare.
Okay.
Um, Cyprus, uh, village Rehab.
Okay.
Um, St.
Catherine's, there's a nuthere's probably 30, 40 of them
Okay.
In, in northeast Florida.
Um, but yeah.
You're, you're moving into ahospital mm-hmm.
situation.
Mm-hmm.
assisted living.
Um, again, as long as you can besomewhat weightbearing, um, you
can go into assisted living.

(11:47):
You bring your own furniture.
Mm-hmm.
, you set up yourown apartment.
It it's your place.
You bring the things that, thatare meaningful to you.
You, and you do as much foryourself as you can, but they
fill in the gaps.
They develop a personal careplan.
You know, do you need bathing?
Do you need help getting on andoff the toilet?
Are you in incontinent?
All of those things can behandled in the assisted living
with the personalized care plan.

(12:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
I love how, and my grandmother is in one of the,
the centers near here, theassistant living centers, and
she wears a, a, a thing aroundher neck.
So if she falls, she can hit,you know, fall and I can't get
up, you know.
Right.
Hit the button.
Um, there's always like a ropein the bathroom for, you know,
if she can't get up.
Right.
You know, if something happens,God forbid in the shower or in
the, in the bathroom, there'ssomething there for her to reach

(12:29):
out Yeah.
To someone.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
No, that's, yeah.
The, the, the dependence thatthey give them to wear are, are
unique to that community.
They're actually GPS monitoredand if she's down in the dining
room and she pushes her pendant,they're not going to her
apartment.
Oh.
They know that she's in thedining room.
That makes sense.
Or if she's in a friend'sapartment, Uhhuh,,
you know, and they're playingcards or something like that and
she pushes it, they will knowwhere she is.
So,

Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah.
That's very nice.
Yeah.
A little, I don't think Irealize that, but it totally
makes sense.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
No, it, it's pretty cool.
Yeah.
Um, yeah.
So they'll, they'll, they'll doall those things again within
their licensure, um, what theycan do.
But it just gives you such abetter environment.
Um, you know, and, and themeals, they, you know, if,
believe me, if the food is bad,they

Speaker 1 (13:02):
Hear about it.
Oh, I know.
We hear

Speaker 2 (13:04):
About it.
I mean, they focus on culinaryand, but they all have different
personalities and culture.
Um, and, and that's a, a bigthing that we stress is try to
make that match.
Mm-hmm.
, cuz this is whereyou're gonna live.
Let's make sure you don't wakeup 10 days into it and say, I
have nothing in common withthese

Speaker 1 (13:17):
People.
Right.
And then what I'm doing here,memory care.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Memory care.
So memory care, a couple ofthings that would, you know,
there's a lot of people thatare, you know, conveniently
confused or pleasantly confusedin assisted living.
Mm-hmm.
.
Okay.
And then they can function justfine with some reminders and
things like that.
But if it gets to the pointwhere, you know, like with your
mom, if, if she's not readingthe calendar and she's missing
things that, that she would wantto go to otherwise, or, you

(13:41):
know, she's sitting at the lunchtable with three other ladies
and they're just chatting awayand she's not keeping up mm-hmm.
, and she starts tofeel something's different.
All right.
And, and then she starts to, tococoon.
She does, she stopsparticipating because she's not
comfortable now that assistedliving isn't necessarily the
best environment for her.
Whereas in memory care where theactivities, the, the prompting

(14:02):
and queuing is expected, thethings that are going on are for
people with that dementia.
They're, they're, they're gearedfor that.
How to reach them, how toconnect with them and pull them
out and give them a lifestylethat's appropriate.
At some point, the lifestyle andassisted living may not be
appropriate.
Or mom gets confused and shewanders out the front door onto
a major highway.
God forbid, that's not a goodthing.
Yeah.
Even the communities aren't good.

(14:22):
So, you know, a wander risk or,or just not keeping up and not
being able to function andutilize all the, all the
advantages for being in assistedliving.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yeah.
So, all right, Dave, tell usabout Oasis Senior Advisors.
Okay.
Then where do you come into allof that?

Speaker 2 (14:35):
All right.
So we are local, obviously.
Um, our strength is our personalknowledge of all the licensed
communities here in NortheastFlorida.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
And you guys aren't just in northeast Florida,

Speaker 2 (14:45):
Right?
No.
We have 114 offices around thecountry.
Okay.
Um, but, you know, you know, Icouldn't help you in Orlando
cause I don't know, my, mystrength here is, is here
because I know the community'shere.
Yes.
So

Speaker 1 (14:54):
That's the whole thing.
And that's who you wanna workwith.

Speaker 2 (14:56):
And that's, yeah.
We wanna work with the localcommunity.
So, you know, they all havedifferent personalities and
cultures.
They all have differentstrengths and weaknesses.
Um, but they all handled Covidand the healthcare staffing
thing differently.
Mm-hmm.
.
Okay.
We, we pay attention to that cuzwe say every, anybody can find a
room.
But let's find a community thatis really well run, that has
stable management, that hasstable directors of nursing,

(15:18):
stable activity directors,stable caregivers.
Cuz the residents pay the price.
And, and it, it amazes me, thecommunities out there that are
turning over executive directorsevery 12 to 18 months, I don't
understand that.
Mm-hmm.
, you can'testablish a team, you can't
establish a culture.
Right.
And, you know, I kind of watchthose and say, well, you know,
whenever they settle down, we'llrefer to them again.
Yeah.
But you know, it's the old 80 20rule.

(15:38):
We do 80% of our referrals intoabout 20% of the communities
that we know.
They have stable management.
They did a good job of staffing.
You know, they have a goodreputation for care.
They have good food.
Um, and so we guide families.
It's not necessarily a placethat's right down the road from
you mm-hmm.
that, you know,and, and you'll walk in there.
Oh yeah, yeah.
This is great.
Come on in.
Coming in.
Well, you know, after mom's beenthere three or four months,

(15:59):
you're gonna find out all the,all the, all the dirty side.

Speaker 1 (16:02):
Right.
News travels fast.
Yes.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
Yes.
So one of the statistics in the,uh, in, in, uh, assisted living
is the average day is 18 months.
It's a lot of people make thatmistake.
Hmm.
They just go to the first onethat's right.
Down the road and then theyfigure out this isn't ready.
You know?
Okay.
For a number of reasons.
Yeah.
One of the things that we trackis, you know, two years later,
how many of our clients arestill in the community that we
found for them.
And we're in the 90 percentileon that.

(16:26):
Well, that's great.
That's very important to us thatwe make that.
Right.
Not just clinical match, butcultural and environmental match
as well.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
And what are some, I mean, you definitely mentioned
some of the benefits of stayinglocal, but some people might
just, you know, I'm, I'mfreaking out.
My mom is it's time.
I, I get on the internet and,and I'm gonna go down a deep
dark hole, aren't I?

Speaker 2 (16:43):
Yes.
There, there are, I, I don'twant to use the word predatory
mm-hmm.
, but there are,you know, things out there that
sound wonderful.
Um, and some of are prettysneaky.
You think you're clicking on acommunity and you've been
captured by one of these onlinethings and, and they're
basically a call center mm-hmm.
somewhere.
Mm-hmm.
.
Um, and, you know, the personyou're talking to probably has
never set foot in Jacksonville,much less set foot actually in

(17:05):
any of the communities.
They don't know about thelicensure, they don't know about
the culture or anything.
They use the spaghetti on thewall approach mm-hmm.
.
And they're going to, and, andthey, you, you submit your name
and phone number and emailaddress, they give that to 1520
communities and then the feedingfrenzy starts.
Yep.
And, and, and you know, theyjust hope one of them match and,
and, and, and they'll send thema bill and, and get it.

(17:25):
But it, it's, it's a convolutedapproach.
Um, we do not share contactinformation of our clients.
If you wanna share it whenyou're on the tour, cuz we take
you on the tour and go with youand hold your hand through the
process.
Um, it's part of our service,then that's up to you.
But you're not gonna getbombarded, uh, by using a local
service

Speaker 1 (17:42):
Course, which is huge, I think.
Yeah.
I mean, no one has time forthat.
And you, you kind of touched onthis a little bit earlier, but
you mentioned your service isfree.
How is

Speaker 2 (17:50):
That?
Yeah.
So it is, I, I love, again, Ilove that business model and any
of people say Yeah, sure.
It's

Speaker 1 (17:54):
From somebody's paying mm-hmm.
, right?
Somewhat.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:55):
Well, you know, it is, it is different.
Kind of like you work with arealtor, all right.
And the realtor is free, but ifyou're selling your house, you
sell it by owner for 300, youdon't sell it, you bring the
realtor in and then you sell itfor 3 25 to cover the
commission.
Mm-hmm.
.
So the first paragraph of ouragreement with the communities
is your price is your price.
You're not gonna charge myclient anything different than
you would coming off the street,otherwise it's not free.

(18:17):
And so, you know, we, we payattention to that.
And from the community side,they're happy to work with us
because they know if I'mbringing them someone that I've
screened them, that they canafford it.
Right.
That the clinical side matchesand then the cultural side
matches.
And they're likely to be a more,uh, a longer term resident than
some of the folks that come offthe street.
So they are actually happy towork with us and pay our fee,
um, uh, to get the, to get thegood client.

Speaker 1 (18:38):
Well, and Dave, that's a great segue to what's
coming up.
We are gonna bring on a currentclient of yours.
Her name is Debbie.
She in, in full disclosure,she's a friend of mine that I
actually referred to you.
And we're gonna have aconversation about what she's
going through.
It's been a really tough time.
And your service has really, Ithink going from hearing about
what's happening with her andher mom to what's happening now

(18:59):
with her and her mom.
I mean, night and day.
So we're gonna have aconversation with Debbie when we
return.
So definitely stick around.
We are talking with DaveStieglitz and certified senior
Advisor with Oasis SeniorAdvisors here in northeast
Florida.
Medicare Connect Radio sponsoredby Millennium Physician Group
will be right back.
Welcome back to Medicare ConnectRadio, sponsored by Millennium

(19:19):
Physician Group.
I'm Michelle McCormick.
Every week we're talking abouthealthcare issues that are
important to you.
Whether you're 65 or older,approaching 65, or maybe you're
just making healthcare decisionsfor a loved one who's in their
golden years.
We're inviting providers andexperts to share insights, to
help you take control of yourhealthcare decisions.
Well, it's time to move yourloved one into assisted living.
It's very hard decision whetheryour loved one is for it or

(19:42):
against it.
And coming to that realizationis hard enough.
But what about the plethora ofchoices about where to go?
And this episode, we are talkingwith a Dave Skelet, a certified
senior advisor with Oasis SeniorAdvisors right here in Northeast
Florida.
And Dave, thank you for beinghere today.
We have covered, um, a lot of, alot of information, a lot of
good stuff, a lot of good stuff.

(20:03):
And how Oasis Senior Advisorsreally is making choices that
you might not otherwise wanna bemaking a little easier.

Speaker 2 (20:12):
Right.
Cutting through the cuttingthrough the noise.
Yeah.
To find, to find the bestoptions.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
Exactly.
And, and I know when we usedyour service for my grandmother,
it was post covid or it was likeright in the middle of Covid, I
think.
Yeah.
When we needed to move her.
And, um, you know, it was afinancial for us.
It was kind of a little bitfinancial downsizing from where
she had been placed after mygrandfather died.
And, and, and you were reallyhelpful with that, with, with

(20:35):
Oasis Senior Advisors.
Joining us now is Debbie, who isa friend of mine who I actually
referred to you because I waslistening to Debbie tell her
story about how her mom wasbecoming more and more difficult
at home alone.
And she truly wanted to age inplace.
But I'm gonna let Debbie tellher story.
Debbie, thank you for joiningus.

Speaker 3 (20:53):
You're welcome.
Thanks for having me, Michelle.

Speaker 1 (20:56):
Um, so if you want to give us a little bit of
background about what you weregoing through and when you
determined it was, it was timeto make a a, a hard decision.

Speaker 3 (21:03):
Sure.
So my mom lived alone.
She's 84 years old and herhealth was declining.
She ended up in the hospitalseveral different times
throughout the year.
She was having a harder timewalking.
Um, she used a rollator all thetime, but it was, that was even
getting more difficult.
So you thank goodness suggestedwe talked to Dave, my brother
and I, uh, sat down with him andhe told us, you know, it would

(21:27):
be a great idea for us to gotour some assisted living
facilities cuz that's what she,she needed.
And we did that with him.
And then my brother and Inarrowed it down to one that we
thought would, um, best suit herneeds and she would be happy in.
And Dave suggested that we takeher because she did not want to
move to assisted living.
She always said, I'm going todie in my house.

(21:49):
Mm-hmm.
.
Yeah.
And that is a really tough tohear.
Um, I know your mom say that.
That's not something you everwanna hear.
So, uh, we did bring her to theassisted living facility that we
chose, we thought would be best.
And she loved it.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
So Dave, how did you decide which ones to show to
Debbie and her family?

Speaker 2 (22:09):
It's all a part of the process.
You know, asking questions, youknow, tell me about mom, tell me
about what she likes to do, youknow, what is, what is going on
with her?
Picking up, trying to pick up alittle bit of the personality.
Um, and then yeah, schedulingthe tours, taking the family
around.
They were doing this under theradar.
Mm-hmm.
mom didn't knowmm-hmm.
, um, cuz theyweren't Right.
Ready to, to break it to heryet.
Uh, because

Speaker 1 (22:29):
Does that happen

Speaker 2 (22:29):
A lot?
It does.
Yeah.
That, that insistence that I'm,I'm going out feet first.
Mm-hmm.
, you know, I'm not, I'm gonna die here in the
house.
I hear that quite frequently.
And family members don't knowhow to deal with that.
It's a tough thing.
Yeah.
But it's always, uh, uh, again,we talked earlier about that
paradigm.
You know, don't put me in thehome.
And that's what they think is,is gonna happen there.
So if we can, we can look atthese places and, and, and, and

(22:50):
take, and as we go around, youknow, your mom better than I do.
Um, but I'm gonna try to findplaces I think are good, are
good match.
Excuse me.
And then as, as we went throughthem, I could see their
reactions.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
I think mom would like this.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm not so sure.
And then it was funny, the lastone they said, I saw their eyes
open up.
Wow, this, this really feelslike mom.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
So Debbie, did you think when you were going on
this journey that you would findsomething that your mom would
like?

Speaker 3 (23:17):
Um, I was a little skeptical only because her
mindset was, I'm not going toleave my house.
Um, but I was hopeful that oncewe took her, she would be, you
know, excited and she was, itwas incredible how excited she
was.
Her eyes lit up, like Dave said.
She, um, she looked at all thebenefits.
There's people there, uh, thatare her age and going through

(23:40):
kind of the same things.
There's activities for her todo.
There's nursing care, uh, ahundred, you know, 24 7.
Um, it's, and, and she looked atthe apartment.
It's not a nursing home, it's anactual apartment.
She has a key, she can walk intoher apartment, you know, she's
got a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, uh, and just a smaller space.

(24:01):
Mm-hmm.
.
But it's her space, which meansshe gets to decorate it the way
she wants to and she'll be happy

Speaker 1 (24:08):
There.
Yeah.
So you feel that she also hadsomething kind of set in her
mind that I I'm gonna stay whereI'm comfortable, but then didn't
realize what the options wereout there.

Speaker 3 (24:16):
Exactly.
She had no idea, nor did weuntil we met Dave and he told us
about all the options.
And it's a wonderful place.
I'm so excited for her as shemoves in on Monday.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yeah.
So Debbie, do you think that wassomething that you and your
brother could have just gone outand done on your own?
I mean,

Speaker 3 (24:31):
Oh no, definitely not.
Definitely not.
No.
Dave was such a big help.
Um, he knows the ins and outs,he knows, uh, you know, all of
the different facilities andlike he said, he knew which ones
for us to tour.
You know, we narrowed it down tofour.
And that was because he, like hesaid, he looked at us, he

(24:52):
listened to us, and he decided,okay, these four would probably
be best for your mom and yourfamily.

Speaker 1 (24:56):
Well that's awesome.
And, you know, and as far as thecost were, were you surprised
at, at the cost of living nowmoving into assisted living
versus her home?
Are you gonna sell her home orare you gonna rent her home?
What are your next steps?

Speaker 3 (25:09):
So, um, yeah, I was kind of surprised at the cost,
but you know, it's a great placefor her to be.
So we're gonna make it work.
Um, we are gonna rent her home.
We're not gonna sell it.
So we're gonna use that rentmoney towards mm-hmm.
, reas assistedliving facility fees and, you
know, other, um, other moneythat she has.

(25:29):
Uh, Dave also put my brother intouch with a gentleman who deals
with, uh, VA benefits.

Speaker 1 (25:34):
That's huge too, especially in our town.
Mm-hmm.
.

Speaker 3 (25:37):
Right.
We didn't realize that my momcould receive my dad's VA
benefits.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
Many, many, many, yeah.
That a lot of the survivingspouses do have no clue.
A lot of the veterans themselvesmm-hmm.
have no clue thatbeing attendance pension is out
there, but especially thesurviving spouses.
And it's, it's paying$1,433 amonth this year.
It's a, it's a difference makerand

Speaker 1 (25:58):
It is a process and it is not something you can do
alone.
We, we went down that, that verybumpy road Yeah.
As well.
Yeah.
The VA and having thatconnection through working with,
with someone like you is huge.
Debbie, let me ask you aquestion with your mom.
Mm-hmm.
did, did herprimary care provider ever say,
you know, it's time for you tostart looking and maybe think
about moving into a assistedliving facility at all?

Speaker 3 (26:21):
Um, I, I discussed it with him and he thought it was a
fantastic idea that she reallywould benefit from it now at her
age and with the condition thatshe's in.
And actually the facility thatwe chose, uh, turns out that his
mother-in-law was there and heused to go over on Friday nights
and watch movies and eat popcornwith her.

Speaker 1 (26:39):
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Our physicians are the same way.
You know, they, I think theyfinally get to a point where
with caregivers, they, theystart to gently make those
decisions.
And, and we're, we're gonna beworking with Oasis Senior
Advisors throughout the state ofFlorida for all of our, our
primary care patients.
Um, you know, the over halfmillion that we have in the
state of Florida, but over our800 providers, having that

(27:02):
ability to reach out to somebodythat has the knowledge in their
area is, is super important.
So, Debbie, is there anythingelse you'd like to leave people
with when they're trying to makethese tough decisions?

Speaker 3 (27:16):
Um, well the other thing that Dave, um, helped us
with was finding a transitionteam, which was really
important.
So they will come in and, um,move my mom's furniture, the
furniture that we tagged for herto go with her, and then they'll
, uh, auction the other items,Laura.
See

Speaker 1 (27:33):
That's, that's huge.
And so Dave, your service, youhave that on the backside too,
to help with the downsizing?
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
The, the, a lot of folks are just, oh, the, the
idea of downsizing justoverwhelms them.
Mm-hmm.
, they don't knowhow to take the first step.
And Yes.
So one of the things we dobesides us, you know, finding
and, and, and showing the, theoptions in assisted living is
connecting to other resources.
Mm-hmm.
, you know, anexpert for VA benefits, cuz you
try to go get those on your own.
You're navigating the governmentbenefit process mm-hmm.
and, and it can bea nightmare.

(28:01):
And then yeah.
Helping with downsizing, helpingwith moving, you know, uh, a
rental property manager so thatwe have a sustainable income
that we try to put togetherversus just selling it and
getting a, a pool of money thatcan be exhausted in the future.
A lot of strategic Oh, that'sgood.
.

Speaker 1 (28:16):
That's

Speaker 2 (28:16):
A good word.
That's a, yeah.
There's a lot of strategic goinginto all

Speaker 1 (28:19):
This here.
Yeah, sure.
You know, it is, it, it's mindblowing parts.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
And, and we will connect folks with you if they
need an elder law, if theyhaven't done their POAs and
their advanced directives andstuff like that.
Mm-hmm.
, uh, there,there's a lot of different, uh,
uh, resources out there that weconnect people

Speaker 1 (28:32):
With.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Well, Debbie, I totallyappreciate it and I'm glad your
mom is excited about her movecoming up next week.
Me too.
And I can't wait to, you know,follow up with you and, and hear
how that, um, how thatadjustment is going for her.

Speaker 3 (28:44):
Great.
Yes.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
I'm, I'm glad.
Hopefully I can help otherpeople.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah.
I totally appreciate you tellingyour story and I, I know it's
been a, a long road and I thinkyou can finally see the light at
the end of the tunnel now.

Speaker 3 (28:55):
Definitely.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
All right.
When we return, we're gonnacontinue our conversation with
Dave, with senior with OasisSenior Advisors.
So stick around.
Medicare Connect Radio sponsoredby Millennium Physician Group
will be a ride back.
Welcome back to Medicare ConnectRadio, sponsored by Millennium
Physician Group.
I'm Michelle McCormick.
Every week we're talking abouthealthcare issues that are
important to you.

(29:17):
Whether you're 65 or older,approaching 65, or just making
healthcare decisions for a lovedone.
We're inviting providers andexperts to share insights to
help you take control of yourhealthcare decisions.
This episode we have beentalking about moving your loved
one into assisted living, memorycare, skilled nursing even came
up too.
It's such a hard decision andyour loved one may be for it or

(29:39):
maybe against it coming to thatrealization super hard.
But what about the choices aboutwhere to go?
We have been talking with DaveSt.
Letz, a certified senior advisorwith Oasis Senior Advisors here
in Northeast Florida.
And Dave, we have touched on alot today.
Let's summarize some of what wewere talking about.
We, we discussed early on thedifferences between independent

(29:59):
living, assisted living, memorycare, skilled nursing, and
what's a best fit.
So let's kind of just summarizethat a little bit for the
listeners and then we're gonnatalk, you know, about what we
just talked about with Debbiereally about that move.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
Sure, sure.
Yeah.
So skilled nursing is veryinstitutional.
Mm-hmm.
.
And it's like living in ahospital.
It, it, it is truly the end oflife.
And, and it's what theold-fashioned nursing homes were
like.
Um, and a lot of our seniorsthese days have that image in
their mind when they say, youknow, when the subject of
assisted living comes up,they've got that all painted
with the same brush.
Assisted living is so different.

(30:33):
It is your own apartment.
You bring your own furniture,you do as much for yourself as
you can, but the community'sthere too assist you.
Mm-hmm.
, Vince assistedliving.
You know, if you just need alittle bit of assistance with
bathing or you need somereminders for your meds, or you
really, you're just tired of, ofcooking and cleaning and you
want your meals and housekeepingor you've lost your

Speaker 1 (30:51):
Driver's license,

Speaker 2 (30:51):
Sounds great to me.
And now your world has shrunkand you need the transportation
programs mm-hmm.
or you're just,you know, your community has
turned over and there's nobodythere for you to socialize with
anymore.
And you just need some peopleyour own age and, and, and that
do the things you want to dothat you can.
So there's so many excellentreasons to consider this.
And you know, nobody, you know,we, we do a lot of planning.
We plan for retirement, we planfor vacations, we plan for this.

(31:13):
But nobody plans for assistedliving.
It's not like you wake up in themorning and say, Woohoo, I'm
going to assisted living today.
Yeah.
You know, that's not, and it'susually thrust upon you, but,
you know, some people ask, whenis the time to go or when is the
time to think about this?
I love meeting with clients thatare actually planning a lady.
She just, she just retired.
She turned 65.
She's not ready at all foryears, but she says, I wanna

(31:34):
learn what's out there.
And I took her, I took her tosome of, some of the CRCs, like
the fleet landings.
Mm-hmm.
and the CypressVillages, the buy-in
communities.
Cuz she had the wherewithal

Speaker 1 (31:43):
For that.
Well, and they have waitinglists too, don't

Speaker 2 (31:45):
They?
They have waiting list.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I took her to some rentalcommunities, which is the
majority of what's out there.
I just, I showed her an overviewacross section of what those
are.
Like.
She was very appreciative.
She says, I have such a betterunderstanding of this now that
I've seen it.
I think

Speaker 1 (31:57):
That's a really good point.
I mean, we are living longer andmaybe we're working longer too,
but that planning piece seems tobe missing.

Speaker 2 (32:05):
Exactly.
Most, I mean, 95% of my clients,it's a crisis call.
You know, mom's in the hospitaland, and we, you know, we can't
take her back home.
But do

Speaker 1 (32:12):
You find yourself planning therapist a lot in your
role?

Speaker 2 (32:15):
Yes.
Talking people off the cliffmm-hmm.
and, and, and, and, and through the whole process.

Speaker 1 (32:19):
Well, you are an advisor.
We are

Speaker 2 (32:21):
An advisor and, and we're here to help you through
this and it's not gonna be asbad as you think it is.

Speaker 1 (32:25):
Yeah.
So let's go through those firststeps with, with Oasis.
You know, you make the phonecall you, we find you on the
internet because we wanna staylocal.

Speaker 2 (32:31):
Yes, yes, yes.
Use your local with localknowledge and, and, and, and,
and local expertise and which isour strength.
Mm-hmm.
.
Um, but yeah, so we start theconversation, tell me about mom.
Tell me what's going on.
You know, what did she used todo?
What does she like?
Is she a foodie?
Is she crafty, is she spiritual?
You know, um, on, on on thatcultural side because all these
communities are different.

(32:51):
Mm-hmm.
and they, youknow, it's amazing.
Somebody mom's a big bridgeplayer.
Well, you know, it was not thateasy to find communities that
actually had bridge clubs.
Oh, you think that would beautomatic?
You would like bingo.
Right.
But actually bridge is not as ascommon.
So, you know, we, we found thecommunities that had the bridge
clubs that could do that.
Hmm.
Or mom's into a book club ormom's into, you know, spiritual
things or, or, or she, you know,she needs a really strong and

(33:12):
robust culinary program cuzshe's very particular about her
food.
Hmm.
Um, so a lot of different thingsgo into the matchmaking process,
which is what we considerourselves.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
Yeah.
You are doing that.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yeah.
We're matching up what mom, youknow, who mom is, who dad is,
what they like to do with thecommunities that provide those.
Cuz they don't all provide that.

Speaker 1 (33:30):
Well.
And I feel if I was just walkinginto one of those places by
myself, it would be more of asales technique.
They're like, they're justselling me their community.
Right.
And, and it might sound great onpaper until you get in

Speaker 2 (33:42):
Oh yeah.
They want to capture you.
Mm-hmm.
, they want to takeyour round peg and smash it into
their square hole.
Mm-hmm.
.
Right.
And all you, this is gonna begreat for you and all and all,
you know, three months later, 60days later, you wake up and you
look around.
I have nothing in common withthese people.
And this is where you're, youknow, you don't, you know, you,
when you move communities, whenyou change in your hou in your
life, when you've bought houses,you kinda researched them.
What's the school district?

(34:02):
You know, what's thisneighborhood like?
Mm-hmm.
, what's gonna beclosed?
What's the drive time?
You know, all the, you do a lotof research before you buy a
house.
Should do a lot of researchbefore you go to where you're
gonna live in an assisted livingor memory care community.

Speaker 1 (34:13):
You are right on about that.
It, it, and then Debbie in ourlast segment was just talking
about that and, and you narrowedit down to four communities for
them.
And, and they didn't, they didkind of did it on the down low.
You know, they weren't ready totell mom.
And when they did and they tookher into where she's moving next
week, she was really excitedabout it.

Speaker 2 (34:31):
Yeah.
The tours are a big part of ourprocess.
Once, once we get that basicinformation and then I match up
and then say, let's go tour.
And I always go with my familiesbecause, you know, I know what
they've told me.
The salesperson at the communitymaybe has, you know, a set list,
oh, we're gonna go over this,this, this, this, this and this
wants to wait, this is what'simportant to this family.
Talk about how you're gonna meetthese needs, these specific

(34:51):
things.
The bridge club, you know, thefood program, the thing, you
know, the, the how do you handlecatheters mm-hmm.
and, and thingslike that.
If that's what mom has.
So, you know, I go on the tourand then go with it and, and you
know, I I've, I've been given,you know, an hour or two hour
introduction to mom, but I don'tknow her like they do.
So when they go through and theysee they'll, they'll fine tune
that from the four to the one.

(35:12):
You know, it was, it was, whenwe walked into that one and, and
looked around, they came out,this is the one that mom's gonna
like mm-hmm.
.
They knew

Speaker 1 (35:17):
It.
They knew.
That is awesome.
Yeah.
Well, Dave, um, you're superpassionate about this and, and I
love that you've helped both myfamily and, and Debbie's family
and, and many, many otherfamilies.
And not just with touring, butwith the after, you know, the
downsizing, the move, the actuallike process.
How, how do we pay for it?
The benefits?
Yes.
Yep.
And so how can people find youspecifically?

Speaker 2 (35:39):
So, uh, yeah, Oasis senior advisors.com/jacksonville
.
Mm-hmm.
, um, is ourofficial website.
We have an easier one, Oasis jaxoh.com.
There you go.
So it's a mirror site.
Uh, but it just takes a lot ofthe letters out.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
It does oasis jax

Speaker 2 (35:53):
Oasisjax.com.
Yeah.
Um, and, and we're there and wehave a team of five excellent
advisors here in northeastFlorida.
Very passionate, very wonderfulfolks.
So, you know, pick who you wannawork with.
Give

Speaker 1 (36:04):
Me a call.
Yeah.
Well you work with your wifetoo, right?
Yes, yes.
So, so you know, it's a familyfriendly environment and we told

Speaker 2 (36:09):
Each other it's a wonderful thing.

Speaker 1 (36:10):
, kudos to you.
I couldn't work with my husband,but I also have a phone number
too.
I have(904) 204-8324.

Speaker 2 (36:18):
Okay.
Yeah.
That, that's

Speaker 1 (36:19):
.
Is that a good number?
It

Speaker 2 (36:20):
Yeah, it's the website number cuz they track.
Oh, okay.
It's actually not, it, it, it'sa made up Google number.
Oh, the actual number's.
9 0 4 3 8 6 5 7 0 8.
Okay.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
There you go.
Say that one again.

Speaker 2 (36:29):
9 0 4 3 8 6 5 7 0 8.
All

Speaker 1 (36:32):
Right.
And what, what would you justlike to leave the listeners with
today about Oasis?
Senior Advisors?

Speaker 2 (36:40):
We're local.
We free, we truly are free.
We are the, the knowledgeexperts.
Why would you go this alone ifwe're out here to help you?

Speaker 1 (36:48):
Mm-hmm.
.
I agree.
I agree.
And, and I know, um, millenniumloves working with you guys.
And, and, um, when our patients,when we get to that point, you
know, I think our doctors arevery much, just like Debbie was
saying, her primary care doctorwas very much like good
decision.
We're happy that you've come tothis realization.
So thank you Dave.
Appreciate you being here today.

(37:08):
Thank

Speaker 2 (37:09):
You.

Speaker 1 (37:09):
The conversation will continue.
Next time on Medicare ConnectRadio.
Millennium aims to create agenuinely connected healthcare
experience for patients byproviding a comprehensive and
coordinated approach tohealthcare.
And we wanna be your connectionto a healthier life.
Learn more and schedule yournext primary care.
Visit us online atwww.millenniumphysician.com in
good health.
I'm Michelle McCormick.
Have a great day.