Beyond Diagnosis: Navigating Cancer with Talaya Dendy

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Good afternoon everyone, and thank you so much
for taking some time out to behere today with speaking with
Sandra L, the Patient ExperiencePodcast.
With speaking with Sandra L thePatient Experience Podcast, and
today I have a lovely, the very, very lovely senior subject
matter expert when it comes tocancer, ms Talia Dandy.

(00:35):
And before I go any furtherwith today's podcast, what I do
want to say is this there aresome people that get things in
life because, hey, they wereborn with a silver spoon.
There are some people that getthings in life because, you know
what, maybe somebody likes themand they just got it and they
got it easy.
Well, our senior subject matterexpert today, ms Talaya Dente,

(01:04):
she is nothing of that.
She is a 2025 Bush fellow,which, if you don't know what
that is, look it up and shedidn't get that way because
anybody gave her anything.
This black woman, my sister, myqueen hood, she received that
honor because she worked for you.
Anyone that knows cancer knowsTalia and they know just how

(01:29):
awesome she is and they knowthat she leads from the heart.
She leads because she cares.
She leads because she was acancer and she was a cancer
patient and she's now a cancersurvivor.
So when we look at the patientexperience, we have to take a

(01:53):
look at what does this look likewhen someone is being a patient
?
What does it look like whensomeone's given a diagnosis that
you have this horrible, dreadeddisease?
Does it look like, hey, we closeup the books and we don't do
anything else?
Or does it look like we take alook at that hourglass and say,
uh-uh, my life has just begunand we flip it and we do it in

(02:17):
reverse, and we do it so muchthat it becomes a part of us and
it's embedded in us.
And so, without any further ado, I'm going to go ahead and
actually start questioning thisbeautiful like I said, my
beautiful sister, a sister fromanother mother, but she's still
my sister and if you know Talia,you know that she's your sister

(02:39):
too.
So, without any further ado,I'm going to go ahead and go on
with this conversation.
So, ms Talaya, can you tell us,before we get into the question
part, can you tell us just alittle bit about yourself,
without giving away what thecancer doula in you is, because
of course, that's one of myquestions.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Sure Well, first of all, sandra, thank you so much
for that warm and beautifulwelcome.
I so appreciate you.
It's just an honor to be herewith you again.
So I am a 14-year now cancersurvivor.
I was diagnosed with Hodgkin'slymphoma in 2011.
And I always say I wasdiagnosed out of the blue

(03:23):
because I never had any healthissues.
I was pretty healthy.
You know, I was rarely a healthcare consumer other than you
know annual exams and eye doctorappointments, dentists so
really I didn't know much aboutthe health care system.
In addition to being a cancersurvivor, I also I love to

(03:46):
travel, I love to walk.
So this time of year is my timeof the year.
I like to just go to differentparks and check out the walking
trails.
So that's just a little bitabout me.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Thank you so much for that and I'm here to be having
an issue with this.
So I'm going to go ahead andkeep you on the camera with your
beautiful face the whole time,and they'll just hear me talking
and asking you these questions.
So my next question to you isthis what for those unfamiliar
with the term cancer doula, whatexactly is a cancer doula?

Speaker 2 (04:26):
That's a great question, sandra, and I often
get that question a lot.
So what I like to do is startwith the word doula and a doula
at its core.
Just strip away anything fromin front of the word doula and a
doula is someone who supportsanother person through a major
life change or significanthealth-related experience.

(04:47):
And so major life change,significant health-related
experience that is definitelycancer.
Many people are familiar withbirth doulas.
Of course.
They help women before birth,during birth and even after
birth.
There are now death doulas whohelp people transition at the
end of life.

(05:08):
And as a cancer doula, I focuson the present and I am walking
with my clients through theircancer journey.
And so essentially a cancerdoula in my perspective, in my
meaning, is I walk with peopleand also their family that have
been diagnosed with cancer.
They're trying to figure outhow to navigate cancer, to

(05:30):
navigate the health care system,but then my major focus is on
the emotional support aspect ofbeing a cancer doula.
It is about focusing on thepresent and helping individuals
and families get on the otherside of their cancer diagnosis.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
Thank you so much for that, and so, once again, as I
stated when we first started, abeautiful, beautiful person, and
the fact that this work thatshe does, it doesn't come with
fanfare, it comes straight fromthe heart.
And so my next question is thiswhat inspired you to become a

(06:14):
cancer doula?

Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yes, thank you for that question.
I love this question because itjust really takes me back to
where I was at that time when Iwas diagnosed, and it really
helps me to reflect on where Iam now.
And so when I was going throughmy cancer journey, I had a
great health care team, a greatoncologist.
I had the support of my family,but, of course, family they

(06:40):
love us, they do the best thatthey can, but sometimes it's
hard for them to relate if theyhave not been through what we're
going through.
And so for me, there was a bigvoid, a big gap when it came to
having someone to talk to whounderstood what it was like to
go through cancer.
There was really no one whocould take my hand and say,

(07:01):
talia, here's what's comingaround the corner, here's what
you need to prepare for, and soI found that to be very
isolating.
So, essentially, what I starteddoing was figuring out ways to
support myself, and you know,just doing research, learning
about yoga, learning aboutmeditation, learning about the

(07:21):
importance of being mindful, youknow improving my journaling
skills to really help me througha lot of those tough days.
So really, sandra, it's to filla void.
It filled a void for myself,and now I want to fill that void
for other people who may feellike, hey, no one gets what I'm

(07:42):
going through.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
You know, talia, what I do want to say and
unfortunately, like I said, I'mnot sure what I did wrong, but
we're not on the same screen, soI'm very mindful of that but
what I do want to say is thisfull of that, but what I do want
to say is this on October 25th,here in Chicago, our foundation
is actually doing somethingthat speaks to the work that

(08:05):
you're doing.
So we're actually having ahealthcare summit and it's
called the Unseen Health.
Right, because there are plentyof times and you probably have
seen this where within ourcommunity not even within our
community outside our community,people are silently suffering
with different types of cancers.
Right, you know, we hear aboutbreast cancer, we hear about

(08:28):
lung cancer, we're now hearingabout colon cancer and skin
cancer, but there's so manyother cancers that impact and
affect our communities that wedon't know about it, sometimes
until it's, you know, either toolate or we're sitting there
suffering when we don't have tosuffer.

(08:48):
We don't know that there'sresources available.
We don't know that, hey,stomach cancer is one of the
leading cancers inAfrican-American communities.
We just don't know that becausewe don't have the resources
that we should have available tospeak to us.
So, to have someone like youavailable, who is a cancer doula

(09:10):
.
You're not concentrating on thelung or the skin or the breast.
You're like all.
Cancer is cancer, no matter whoyou get it, who gets it and
what type of cancer you get.
It's something that we need totalk about more often than what
we now talk about.
We need to talk about moreoften.
So to have your servicesavailable and I do know that you

(09:32):
do you know you're in Minnesota, but I know that you do, unless
I'm wrong but I don't think I'mwrong that you offer telehealth
services so that someone thatneeds help that doesn't live in
Minnesota can call you and sayhey, I'm struggling with this.
I was just told about this.
I've never heard about itbefore and I saw you and your

(09:57):
cancer doula, so can you help me?
Where there's help across theboard, there's help all over, no
matter where it is that youlive at.
And the important thing to knowis this and I am going to put
the disclaimer out here becauseI know that you put it on your
personal documents and youremail documents, but we all need

(10:19):
to know this, because I comeacross this a lot as well you or
I are not doctors.
We're research resourcewarriors Once again, research
and resource warriors.
We don't take the place, wedon't claim to take the place of
your doctor.

(10:39):
If you have sitting down andhaving that conversation with
your doctor, your doctor is avery vital part of the whole
equation when it comes down tosustainable health care and we
need both of us and anyone elsethat's in the health care field,
that's not in the clinical side.
We need you to know that.
It's important for your patientexperience, whether you're the

(11:04):
patient or you are the loved oneof a patient, a caregiver.
We need you to know.
Stop looking at Dr Google, mrFirefox.
Stop saying, oh, I can callTalia because she's a cancer
doula, or I could reach out toSandra because she does X, y, z,

(11:25):
because we're not your doctor.
You really need to have aconversation with your doctor
and if your doctor is notavailable or you feel like your
doctor's gaslighting you ormaybe you don't like that
particular doctor, neither oneof us want to see you go without
healthcare, but what we want todo is we want to see you with a

(11:47):
doctor that you feelcomfortable with.
So you can call either one ofus and you can say and even my
board member.
You can call and say, hey, Ineed this doctor and I'm having
a problem with this doctor, andwe'll help you look for a doctor
that fits what you're lookingfor.
But please don't take thispodcast to be oh well, I can

(12:07):
just listen to them.
The disclaimer, the disclaimersee your doctor Get off of Dr
Google and Mr Firefox, becauseand I know because I hear it all
the time right, you know well,the doctor's doing it, yeah, but
the doctor knows what'scredible.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
Yeah, and to your point.
You know, when you are on theinternet, look for credible
sources that end in the URL thatends in edu, org, those kinds
of things, to really make surethat you're getting good and
actually recent information,because that information changes

(12:52):
so fast.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
Right, you're right, and that's another point that I
do want to bring up.
And so in January of 2026,there will be a digital health
platform that will be launchedunder Choms Many Helps, for that
very reason, because we knowthat a lot of patients don't
know, so they don't know whatthey're looking at.

(13:14):
They have no idea what they'relooking at.
And it all starts witheducation, and that's where
myself and Talaya come in iseducating.
That's where you, as a patient,come in, is in using the
digital platform that will soonbe launched to actually go in
and learn the things that no oneelse is telling you you can
learn on your own.

(13:35):
It's called self-care and it'scalled self-advocating, and it's
a tool that will help youself-care and self-advocate.
So, off my soapbox now.
But I had to put that disclaimerout there because people will
hear us and they're like, ohwell, they're a doctor and so,
and that doesn't mean they'reall doctors.

(13:57):
That does not mean that alldoctors that you will be coming
in contact with, that doesn'tmean that they're going to be
knowing what they're knowingjust because they're a doctor.
But, once again, it goes backto having that conversation and
if you don't feel comfortable,find another doctor, but don't
stop seeing the doctor, becauseyou're not hurting the doctor

(14:17):
when you don't stop seeing them,you're hurting yourself and
your loved ones Right.
Thanks for that.
In your journey as a cancersurvivor, what helped you to see
that there was life on theother side?
Look at that beautiful sign onthe other side.
What helped you to see thatthere was life on the other side
?

Speaker 2 (14:37):
Yes, that's a great question.
Well, for me it was a renewedsense of purpose and a new
direction, and so, prior tobeing diagnosed with cancer, I
was in corporate America,climbing the corporate ladder,
like we were told we're supposedto do, and I just really found
my purpose and that's reallywhat helped me to see that

(14:58):
there's life on the other sideof cancer.
But then also, your perspectivesyour perspective about a lot of
different things change.
So I was looking through a newlens.
I was able to see thingsdifferently, just look at things
from a different angle, andwhen you are faced with the
possibility of reaching the endof your life, you really just

(15:25):
recognize what's important, yourecognize what really matters
and you start to shift.
Well, I me, I started to shiftmy focus.
I was focusing on things thatreally didn't matter, that were
really not important to me, andso it was really about
fulfilling my purpose, figuringout what that was and fulfilling

(15:47):
my purpose and really justshifting my focus from things
that really didn't matter, fromthings that caused me a lot of
stress or that I couldn'tcontrol, and so all of those, in
a nutshell, helped me to seethat there is, of course, life
on the other side.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
Thank you so much for that.
Now, what's a story whetherit's personal or with someone
that you worked with before thatreminded you that presence is
more powerful than work.
So being there for someone ismore important than calling a
person and saying, oh, I'm sosorry you're sick or I'm so
sorry that you're sufferingthrough this.
What's the story that you canshare with us where that proved

(16:30):
the point?

Speaker 2 (16:32):
Yes.
So for me it was really my mom.
We had this conversationseveral years after my diagnosis
and several years after Icompleted treatment, and we were
just talking and she had saidyou know, I wasn't really sure
how to support you or if what Iwas doing was the right thing to

(16:52):
do.
And I said you know, mom,there's not a manual on how to
be a cancer patient or how to bea caregiver, but what I can
tell you is, every time wetalked, every hug, every
hand-holding, every time youaccompanied me to an appointment
, that was your presence.
You were a force of presence iswhat I call it, and I think

(17:16):
society tells us and teaches usthat we have to have always have
these profound things to say,and that's not always the case.
Sometimes silence is golden,but just being there holding the
person's hand, giving them ahug, just letting them know that
you got them, you're there withthem, and so that's one example

(17:38):
, a very personal example.
Another one is with a clientthat I worked with.
She actually felt like no oneunderstood what she was going
through.
She was having a tough time atwork and she was someone at work
who everyone always relied onfor everything, really, and she
had that role at home, outsideof work.

(18:00):
So she just felt like, wow, I'malways giving, giving, giving.
I don't have time to take careof myself and because I'm the
person who's always giving,people don't know how to support
me, and so I just let her go.

(18:22):
I just let her get her stuff out, all the things that she needed
to say, and I just sat thereand she's like you probably
think I'm nuts, don't you?
And I said no, I said what Ithink is you just needed someone
to listen.
And she just started crying.
She's like I that's it and I'mlike that's it.
And so just really being therefor people, holding space for
people without judgment, lettingthem know that they're safe

(18:44):
that's another way.
So you don't always have tohave the right words to say, but
your presence, and your genuinepresence, is golden.
So don't ever feel like,because you don't have the right
words, that you are not beingsupportive.
Showing up is just as importantas saying anything.

Speaker 1 (19:05):
And for that I say thank you so very, very much.
And for everyone that'slistening to today's podcast,
you might be like, well, shesound like she do more than some
cancer doula, and that'sbecause not only is she a Bush
fellow, not only is she a cancerdoula, but she's also a health

(19:29):
and wellness coach.
So how is that going?

Speaker 2 (19:32):
That's going pretty good.
My focus on health and wellnessI call it well.
The health and wellness portionof my business is called Lea's
Haven and it's really a placewhere people can come and get
support for, you know, whateverit is in terms of their health
and well-being that they want toimprove, it's not about me

(19:59):
telling you what you need to do.
It's about us working togetherto explore and bring to the
surface what's already inside ofyou.
So some people have come to meand they said you know, I really
want to get more sleep, or Ireally want to manage my time
better, or I want to reduce myscreen time, but I have all
these things to do.
So I just support them inmaking those changes.
I don't make those changes forthem.
I don't tell them how.
Support them in making thosechanges.
I don't make those changes forthem.

(20:19):
I don't tell them how they needto make those changes.
I just really, again, holdspace for them.
You know, if there's anyparticular resources that
they're looking for, I help themfind those resources.
But really it's usingevidence-based coaching
techniques to help peopleachieve their goals and have

(20:41):
long-standing, long-term successwith the goals that they want
to achieve.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
Now my next to my last question is and I see that
you have your QR code on thescreen.
However, portions of the bannerthat are down at the bottom
page are cutting off and I can'tmove the banner.
So what I do want you to do isI want you to tell everyone
exactly where they can find you,how they can find you.

(21:11):
And guess what, if you'relistening to this podcast and
you're like well, I really wantto reach out to her, reach out
to me and say hey, sandra, youknow what?
I would love to speak to thatperson because I'm going through
, or my loved one's goingthrough.
It's called collaboration, andme and Talia have collaborated
on so many things and, onceagain, I am so proud very, very

(21:32):
proud of where I'm seeing hercome from, where I see her now
and where I see her going in thefuture.
So if you can go ahead and tellus verbally, tell us where they
can find you at, and that willbe greatly appreciated.

Speaker 2 (21:49):
Absolutely.
Thank you for that.
So you can find me atontheothersidelife, and that is
where you can find moreinformation about my cancer
doula services, but then alsoyou can find out information
about my podcast, NavigatingCancer Together.
I also have a website that I'mcurrently working on and it

(22:10):
should be up and ready in acouple days.
And if you are someone who isin the community space where you
are looking for support withresearch advocacy if you are
looking for someone tocollaborate with in terms of a
community advocate, clinicaltrials, things like that or

(22:33):
you're looking for a speaker ina couple days days, you can go
to talayadendypro.
That's spelledT-A-L-A-Y-A-D-E-N-D-Ypro, and,
again, that should be ready in acouple of days.
So there's a couple ofdifferent ways that you can
reach out to me.
I'm on LinkedIn as well.
That's the primary social mediaplatform where you can find me.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
Thank you so very much for that.
And, as we go, I once againknow that I put a disclaimer out
myself when we were doing adescription on this, saying that
this subject might be a littlebit tense for some people
because they're either goingthrough or they know someone,

(23:20):
they've lost someone or you knowsomething of that nature.
So I just wanted to make surethat people knew that.
You know this might be a tendersubject.
This might be something thatyou know, a podcast that you
want to take and listen to alittle bit later, but what I
want you to do for me, talia, aswell as for all the patients
that we service and those whoyou know, feel as though their

(23:42):
voice has been lost and theydon't really know what to say or
how to say it.
Can you just give us someparting words on?
You know what it is that cancerpatients, whether they're going
through or whether they'resurviving, or know someone in
that instance, what we shouldall be doing?

Speaker 2 (24:02):
Yeah.
So my advice, myrecommendations, really is to
number one be true to yourself,listen to your gut, Listen to
your instincts.
Always ask questions.
If you are not getting a goodfeeling about any healthcare

(24:24):
provider, seek a second opinion.
The other thing is, don't beafraid to use your voice and
make it clear what your culturalpreferences are, any other
preferences that you have, makethose things very clear.
But the most important thing isto try not to let fear dictate

(24:47):
your decisions, and I know thatthat's really hard when you get
a diagnosis.
But whatever it is that you doto help you get to a calm place
if it's prayer, if it's, youknow, exercise, whatever that is
for you try to not let fearlead you, because it can maybe

(25:10):
lead you in some places youreally don't want to be.
So try not to make decisionsout of fear.
Make decisions out of education.
So that means gathering theinformation that you need,
credible information that youneed to make informed decisions
about your care.
Also again, I can't say thisenough If you feel like

(25:34):
something is not right with theway that you're being treated,
if you feel like you're notbeing heard, seek a second
opinion and don't focus on deathJust because you get a cancer
diagnosis, it doesn't mean thatyou're going to die.
Of course people do pass awayfrom cancer.
But just use me as an example.

(25:55):
I've been here.
But you know, just use me as anexample.
I've been here.
I'm here 14 years later after adiagnosis.
So focus on what you want yourlife to look like.
Focus on your why.
Why do you want to live?
And I think, if you put that infront of you why you know why
do I want to live?
Just really think about that.
Keep your answer in front ofyou and I'm telling you on the

(26:17):
really hard days, that's goingto help to keep you going.
So those are my parting words.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
Thank you so much for that and thank you so much for
taking the time today to onceagain sit with us and give back
to our patients.
That's what we do.
That's why we do what we do.
It's not for us, it's becausewe know that there are patients
who are suffering through thingsthat they really shouldn't have
to suffer through.
We know that there's resourcesout here that are available for

(26:47):
patients.
They just need to ask.
And they need to ask the rightperson.
And, like you said on the, youknow, yeah, I've never had
cancer, but I lost my sister, Ilost my grandmother to cancer,
so I had to walk that cancerroute as a second party to
seeing those that I was close tolose their lives to cancer is

(27:21):
hurting, but we have to keep oureyes and our mind focused on
that big, beautiful graphic thatTalia has, where the sun is out
.
Yeah, it's dark, but look aboveit and see that sun and see
that on the other side.
And that goes along with what Ialways say at the end of each
podcast Be kind, it costs usnothing, it's free, it helps.

(27:42):
Not only does it help you, butit helps the other person who
you're being kind to.
And yes, sometimes people mayaggravate you and you might be
like I don't feel like beingkind.
But look at it this way.
Maybe something was on thatperson's mind and they really
weren't able to think through it, but you being kind helps them

(28:02):
to see that at the end of theday, there is another chance to
live.
I thank you again.
I thank everyone for listening.
Hopefully this comes outcorrectly.
If not, I'm going to be reallyupset, but I'm going to be kind.
I am going to be kind and Ithank you for giving me grace to

(28:25):
walk through this journey thatwe went through not only today,
but that we go through all thetime.

Speaker 2 (28:28):
Thank you, Sandra.
It's just always a blessing tocollaborate with you and I
appreciate you.
Thank you for everything thatyou do for the community.

Speaker 1 (28:37):
Thank you and you have the rest of a great day you
too, appreciate you, thank youfor everything that you do for
the community.
Thank you, and you have therest of a great day, you too,
thank you.