Divorce Advice For Men - Divorce Lawyer Val Hemminger

How to get through a divorce, how to avoid it, and the truths and myths surrounding divorce, including child custody, weather divorce is fair to men, and more.

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Today’s guest Val Hemminger is a Westshore divorce lawyer and creator of the B.E.S.T method for lawyers, and she’s here to talk about fairness in divorce, how divorce can impact kids, what are the main reasons that lead to divorce, and some legal advice on the subject. 

CHAPTERS:

00:01:20 CHAPTER I –  Going Through Divorce

00:01:20 Fairness in Divorce

• When going through a divorce, men are usually pretty stressed out. Wondering how they’ll manage financially, what the support obligation is going to be or how their relationship with kids will develop are just a few of the common fears that arise throughout this period. More often than not, men also fear that the court may be against them, but actually this is rarely the case. 

00:05:41 Divorce on Kids

• How a couple handle their divorce is crucial regarding how it can impact their children. Kids can actually feel when their parents are in conflict, even after separating. Sadly, they tend to put the blame on themselves, believing that if they were lovable enough, that would keep their parents from constantly fighting. 

  00:10:34 Legal Advice on Divorce

• If someone’s trying to serve you with something, the best piece of advice is to always show up and let yourself be served. Despite being a stressful thing to do, making yourself present in front of the court can save you from some really unpleasant consequences. 

00:19:56 CHAPTER II –  Avoiding Divorce

00:20:01 Avoiding Divorce

• Keeping your communication B.I.F.F. –brief, informative, friendly and firm – throughout a conflictive context can pay high dividends when it comes to saving a marriage and avoiding divorce. This can be a hard thing to put in practice when the other member of the couple is clearly trying to pick up a fight through provoking and insulting statements, but it can definitely help put out the fire, not to mention that it’s by far the best way to proceed when there are kids involved. 

00:25:16 Main Reasons That Lead to Divorce

• Consistent disrespectful treatment and communication ranks high among the main reasons why people end up getting divorced. Often, resentment builds up proportionally as respect goes down between two members of a couple. Some other usual causes of separation are unbalanced relationships in which one of the spouses carries most of the weight, or excessive controlling behavior from one of the sides. 

00:34:08 CHAPTER III – Thruths and Myths Arround Divorce

00:34:15 Deconstructing Stereotypes

• There seem to be some widely spread stereotypes according to which all men are cheaters whilst all women are gold-diggers. Even though it’s pretty obvious that a same tag cannot be applied to all men or women, there are definitely some tendencies that have helped build those stereotypes. Stats reveal that when going through a divorce, women will push harder to keep the house, given that they seek stability for their kids. At the same time, an affair on the male side is one of the most usual reasons that lead to divorce.  

00:36:36 A Legal Eye On Your Current Relationship

• Even though it can be an unpleasant thing to bring to the table, It’s key that your relationship has a foundation solid enough that allows you to discuss uneasy topics such as pr