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July 5, 2024 55 mins

Tony Daloisio is a psychologist and author of the book “The Journeyman Life”, and he’s on the MensGroup Podcast to talk about self-improvement, the obstacles we may find along the path to a better self, and the benefits of making some solid change.

Watch the video interview and short clips here: https://mensgroup.com/how-to-do-self-improvement-dr-tony-daloisio-psychologist

Getting in touch with our emotions, different ways of approaching change, and the benefits of improving ourselves. 

*I'm sorry that I lost my video for this recording. All of the other podcast episodes have video of the MensGroup host Sean Galla.

We have lots more great self-improvement content for men over at https://mensgroup.com/

00:00:00 Intro

00:07:17 Getting in touch with your emotions
Research shows that almost 70% are at a reactive stage when it comes to their emotional development. 

00:11:13 Triggering events
Most of us carry around emotional wounds from our past experiences, particularly out childhood. 

00:15:26 The story of you
In order to heal from trauma, you have to get to know yourself in a three-way path: your external story – meaning the way you describe yourself to the world –, your inner story – how to you really feel about yourself in your mind – and a third story regarding the kind of person you seek to become.

00:20:35 Self-actualization can be the hardest thing
Making the decision of looking into ourselves in order to change and grow can be the hardest thing to do because it’s not possible to do without facing our deepest fears and pain.

00:26:49 Three paths for self-change
There are basically three ways to approach self-change: the cognitive behavioral approach, the psycho-dynamic approach and the spiritual approach.

00:32:38 Three key elements for success
Awareness is crucial. The most important thing that’s gonna drive success in a man life is learning to be aware of what’s happening outside – meaning the external context – and inside, concerning his feelings and emotions.

00:34:38 Accountability
There’s a psychological principal called “The incorporation effect” – whenever we attempt to make a substantial change, there’s an inner tendency that pushes us to go back to the norm, because that’s where our brain feels more comfortable.

00:42:23 The people component
Surrounding ourselves with people that share the same values than us can have a great impact in ourselves. However, there are some times in life in which we’ll inevitably find ourselves sharing time and space with people that may be in a whole different stage. 
 
00:50:49 Three benefits for embracing change
There are three important benefits that derive from embracing change. The first on

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