November 25, 2024 • 24 mins
What if you could transform your life by simply renewing your mind? In our latest episode, I encourage a journey toward personal and spiritual growth, rooted in daily renewal and self-compassion. I unravel the profound teachings of Lamentations 3:22 and Romans 12:1-2, inviting you to embrace God's mercy and compassion as a foundation for self-forgiveness. This episode underscores the power of aligning your thoughts and behaviors with divine guidance and how fostering a personal relationship with Christ can lead to true transformation. Learn how living apart from worldly influences can enhance your spiritual, physical, and financial well-being.
Moreover, discover practical techniques to manage negative thoughts and improve mental clarity. I introduce thought defusion which is a technique from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, offering creative exercises to redirect your attention away from anxiety-inducing patterns. From visualizations to verbal techniques, I guide you through strategies that encourage mindfulness and self-awareness. Additionally, I explore effective communication in relationships, emphasizing the importance of curiosity and courage in expressing your thoughts and feelings. By the end of this episode, you'll be equipped with tools to approach each day with gratitude and joy, transforming not just your mind, but your world.
Thank you for listening to the Mental Health Bible Study Podcast.
New episodes are uploaded every Monday.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tyra (00:00):
Hello there.
How are y'all doing on thiswonderful day that the Lord has
made?
I pray you're choosing torejoice and be glad in it.
Also, be grateful for anotherday.
It is another day that you aresingsing, so be grateful.
Take the opportunity to createjoy, peace and love.
(00:21):
Also, be merciful, becauseGod's mercy is new every day
that you see.
Lamentations 3.22 says throughthe Lord's mercy, we are not
consumed, because his compassionfail not.
They are new every morning.
Great is your faithfulness,praise Jesus, hallelujah.
Great is your faithfulness,praise Jesus, hallelujah.
(00:44):
That's letting us know thatGod's mercy is new every morning
and he's always showingcompassion.
So that means that we ought tobe compassionate toward
ourselves as well as beingmerciful.
So if there's something that ison your heart that you have not
(01:07):
forgiven yourself for, I wantyou to take this day to forgive
yourself.
Show yourself some mercy.
Your past does not define whoyou are.
Who you are today is a son or adaughter of God.
You are no longer doing thosethings that you used to do, but
(01:30):
just in case you are doing thosethings that you used to do, I
want you to take thisopportunity to make a decision
to transform, because you firsthave to make a decision, to do
the right thing, to transformyour life.
And so that brings me to thequote of the day, because this
(01:52):
quote says that to change yourthoughts, you change your world,
and that's from Norman VincentPeale.
So if you are trying totransform, that means you have
to change your thoughts.
So, as I'm thinking about thisquote change your thoughts, you
(02:12):
change your world.
I know that it's parallel to ascripture in the Bible and of
course I had just said it beingtransformed by the renewing of
your mind.
But let's read what Romans 12says and do not wait a minute,
hold up, it says and.
(02:32):
So we're going to have to goback and read verse 1.
I beseech you therefore,brethren, by the mercies of God,
that you present your bodies aliving sacrifice, mercies of God
, that you present your bodies aliving sacrifice holy
acceptable to God, which is yourreasonable service, and do not
(02:58):
be conformed to this world, butbe transformed by the renewing
of your mind that you may provewhat is that good and acceptable
and perfect will of God.
So Paul is saying in verse 1that he beseeched us, by the
mercies of God, that we dopresent our bodies a living
sacrifice holy acceptable to God.
(03:19):
So that's talking about ourphysical body.
Verse 1 is so that's talkingabout our physical body.
Verse 1 is and he's also sayingthat it is our reasonable
service to present our bodiesunto God holy and acceptable.
(03:41):
How we make that happen isthrough the mind.
So you have to renew your mindin order to be transformed, in
order to not conform to thisworld.
You have to renew your mind.
That means you have to get adifferent perspective and as you
grow that perspective, you alsogrow your beliefs, and as your
(04:04):
beliefs grow, your behaviorschange.
So that's where thetransformation takes place,
because we are not to beconformed to this world.
Conformed means to come intoalignment with or agree with.
We are not in alignment withwhat this world is saying, that,
how we're supposed to, or evenwhat, how we think we supposed
(04:25):
to behave ourselves.
God has already given us thetruth, the manual, basically,
which is the Bible, on how weare to present ourselves as
believers.
So we learn that by learninghis word, by reading his word,
by also developing arelationship with God, because
(04:49):
as you develop a relationshipwith God, you will have another
perspective, formulating in yourmind, as well as experience
what is going on.
Because as you experience yourrelationship with Christ, you
will be transformed, especiallyafter an encounter with Jesus
(05:14):
Christ.
You know what I mean.
Ooh, bless the Lord.
Because I'm just thinking aboutmy own experience, because I
was able, or I am, I am able toprove what is that good and
acceptable and perfect will ofGod, because I made a decision
(05:36):
to have a personal relationshipwith Christ.
And as I develop a personalrelationship with Christ, I
change my way of thinking byreading the Word of God, because
through that I'm able to knowwho God is and who he is as my
(05:57):
Father, and also who the HolySpirit is as my Comforter.
So through all that, you'reable to be transformed by the
renewing of your mind, becauseit's through my mind first,
where I made a decision and thenI did the work, and here I am
transformed.
So it can happen the same wayfor you as you change your
(06:23):
thoughts.
As you change your thoughts, youchange your world.
So any type of thing that'sgoing on in your life or life
you do want to change, or what Imean by life, that means your
spiritual life, your physicallife, your psychological life,
(06:45):
that's dealing with the soul,your occupational life, your
financial life.
You know financial life, allthat are lives you know, and it
is a part of who we are as ahuman being.
So, as you are trying to figureout how to transform these
lives, you have to change yourway of thinking.
(07:09):
You have to get anotherperspective, because there's
always another perspective onhow to think about something it
really is.
Our worlds are totallydifferent.
Believers of Jesus Christ'sworld, they are totally
different than the world that'sout there.
And as believers, we are alwaysstriving to have that good and
(07:33):
acceptable perfect will of Godby the renewing of our minds.
That means you're alwayskeeping that mind sharp, and the
only way you do that is byknowing God's word and knowing
who he is, and not just knowingwho he is to you, but having a
personal relationship withChrist.
(07:53):
We are responsible for changingour own thoughts.
Okay, no one else can do thisfor us.
We can only do it ourselves.
We have to make the decision tochange our way of thinking.
So, just like this quote says,change your thoughts, you change
your world.
(08:16):
So let's get into our episodefor today.
Last week's episode was aboutthe first step, that means, you
know, to letting go, the firststep to letting go.
That means that we have tofirst make a decision, first
make your decision to let it go,and then we get to the second
(08:36):
step of doing the work ofletting it go, because you can't
just plan something, you can'tjust say something.
You can't just plan something,you can't just say something,
you can't just make a decision.
Once you make that decision, aconscious decision, most
definitely you're going to startdoing the work.
We have to start executingthese plans and thoughts and
(09:03):
these decisions that we'resaying that we're going to do
something.
Following through is basicallywhat it is, but the work is so
important because you do have todo the work.
The work is so importantbecause you do have to do the
work.
If you want the world and yourlife to change, you're going to
(09:24):
have to do the work.
So there's a therapeutictechnique called thought
defusion.
It is developed by the therapyof acceptance and commitment.
This work is simply shiftingyour energy, your attention,
away from what you are stuck onas far as that thought you're
having.
That way of thinking, you know,is really not good, because
(09:48):
when you get stuck on somethingand you have a thought that
keeps repeating itself in yourhead.
You can dictate your moods andyour emotions.
So some people get overwhelmed,some people get anxious, some
people get depressed, and it'sbecause of the thought that
(10:10):
keeps repetitively going on andon and on.
That keep repetitively going onand on and on, and we do not
suppose to be at that point ofthe thinking process, because
thinking is good it really is.
It's good to sit down andprocess your thoughts, but you
do have to go through theprocess of thinking.
(10:32):
You can't just be on this loop,over and over and over,
thinking the same thing, becauseit is going to dictate your
muse.
So, with that being said, thereis a technique called thought
defusion.
That means that you're going todefuse the thought or detach
(10:54):
away from the thought that youcan't seem to get away from.
And there are eight ways todefuse your thoughts according
to this skill.
And you can find theseactivities, these skills, these
things that you can practice athome.
You can find them ontherapistaid dot com.
(11:15):
This is a website that I loveto go to when I'm helping my
clients, you can go on there andlook up any situation that
you're trying to overcome, andthey will give you tools that
you can try to see what works.
That is at therapististAid dotcom.
(11:39):
So with these activities, I wantyou to understand that you have
to find what works for you.
So I'm just going to tell howyou can, you know, let go of
thoughts that you can't seem toget past.
(12:03):
So you can use thought defusionwhen you feel triggered, when
your thoughts are one-sided aswell as when you are lost in
thoughts, when your thoughts areone-sided as well as when you
are lost in thoughts.
So let's say, for example, yourthoughts spike, your anxiety or
your moods get even worse, oryou just tend to be fixated on a
(12:28):
thought and can't seem to startfocusing on other things, can't
seem to start focusing on otherthings, or you get preoccupied
and not present to what'shappening at the moment.
So here are eight activitiesthat you can try, and I'm going
(12:56):
to go through these eight sothat you can see which one will
work for you.
So the first one is put yourthoughts on clouds.
That means that you're going toput a thought on a cloud and
you're just going to watch thecloud go away, drift away right
into the sky, and you're goingto remind yourself that these
clouds come and go, they don'thave any substance.
(13:17):
They don't do anything for you.
So you're just putting thethought on the cloud and you're
visualizing it drift away intothe sky.
The second one is file yourthoughts away.
You visualize folders withlabels for types of thinking
such as predicting, regretting,comparing, doubting and so on.
(13:40):
You can even add shame, guilt,but any type of label that is on
that type of thinking thatyou're thinking.
Just visualize it and thenyou're going to bring attention
to that thought and file it intothat corresponding folder.
The third one is click the Xbutton.
(14:02):
Thoughts can crowd your mindlike dozens of browser windows
on your computer.
Imagine closing the windows byclicking the X on each of these
thoughts that you're having andyou're just going to watch it
disappear one by one.
Now, all of these activitiesare basically visualizing,
(14:24):
imagining things, especiallythese three.
But the fourth one is you'regoing to have to verbalize the
thinking process.
You can start your sentence offby saying I'm having the
thought that, for example, I'mhaving the thought that
so-and-so, so-and-so don't likeme.
(14:44):
If I have a thought thatsomebody don't like me, I need
to process that thought as ifit's just a thought, the process
of thought as if it's just athought.
It's not a fact until I go outthere and find the evidence for
this thought that I'm having.
So if I'm having this thought,I need to go out there and seek
(15:07):
it.
Curiosity is a very good thingto have, because as you become
curious about something, you goout there and seek the answer.
So if I'm having a thoughtabout somebody don't like me,
I'm going to have to go out andask that person why they don't
like me or why I think theydon't like me.
Because when I go over thereand talk to that person, I
(15:29):
should say I'm having thisfeeling that you don't like me.
Are we okay?
Okay, are we good?
Is there anything that you wantto tell me?
You know, because it's good tohave that curiosity so I can
seek answers to the thought thatI'm having instead of me going
(15:50):
down a rabbit hole with thisthought.
But curiosity also comes withcourage, because you do have to
have the courage to walk overthere and ask the question.
All right, so let's get to thefirst one.
Use a silly voice, write downyour upsetting thought and then
read it out loud 10 times in asilly voice.
(16:13):
Try impersonating a cartooncharacter or a favorite actor.
The more ridiculous, the better.
Name the story.
Think of repetitive thoughts asfamiliar stories.
Pay attention to how often theyrecur.
You might spot the I am afailure story.
(16:36):
The no one likes me story.
Or my life is horrible storyyou get the idea.
Or I'm not enough story.
You're just naming the storybecause it's basically letting
you know that these are notfacts, these are just stories.
These are just stories, theseare just thoughts.
But I don't want you to just benaming these stories and just
(17:00):
thinking of these thoughts.
I want you to replace thosethoughts.
But it's good to be aware ofthe type of thoughts that you
are having.
All right, the seventh onescreen your thoughts.
Imagine your thoughts projectedonto a large movie screen.
You're just sitting in thebackground.
You're just watching the movieon phone.
(17:20):
With all these thoughts thatyou have, can you observe the
movie without getting lost in it?
The next one, the last one zoomout when you're filled with a
thought.
Picture yourself rising highabove the earth and notice how
tiny your worries look fromspace.
(17:41):
Does your triggering thoughtfeel as significant from this
distance?
As you zoom yourself going upinto space, you're visualizing
this, of course.
As you zoom yourself going upinto space, you're visualizing
this, of course, you arenoticing that the worries and
(18:05):
the thoughts, how they look fromthe space as you're high up
there in the air, does thetriggering thought feel
significant from this distance?
So here are eight activities.
It would be great if you couldtry them all, and the reason why
I say that is because you dowant to find out if either one
of these will work for you, andif they don't work for you, then
(18:25):
create your own.
Find something that you can useas far as visualizing and
talking out, processing yourthoughts so that they do not
dictate your mood, because it isyour responsibility to be in
(18:45):
control of your thoughts andyour feelings.
If you find yourself beingtriggered by your thoughts, it's
good to process them, but Iwould like for you to do number
four, to say I'm having thesethoughts that it's XYZ, because
(19:07):
the reason why I say that isbecause it's a good way to
process your thinking, becauseyou are letting yourself know
that, hey, this is only athought, this is just something
that is simply in my head and Ihave to find the evidence.
I have to go out there and findthe evidence.
(19:29):
It's my responsibility to findthe evidence.
I mean a lot of people do ittoo.
They sit there and they makethese statements when they're
having conversations with people, especially those they have
conflict with, and the firstthing we do is make statements.
But before you go and make thosestatements to that other person
(19:52):
, it's good to process thethinking first, where you're
thinking about what it is thatis affecting you, about what the
other person is doing, because,as you are sitting there
thinking you're going to bewriting it down or saying it
that I'm having the thought thatX-Y-Z he is, he does not love
(20:16):
me.
Okay, you're having the thoughtthat he does not love you.
What is it about him, or whatis it about him that's showing
you that he does not love you?
And you write it down.
You write down those answersand as you write down those
answers, you have to askyourself is this the evidence?
(20:36):
Is he really showing thesethings?
Because we can feel a certainway by what we're thinking and
those are two separate thingstoo because I can feel like
somebody does not love me.
I can think that somebody doesnot love me, but do I have the
(20:59):
evidence that I'm not beingloved?
Do I have the evidenceindividual?
Because I am curious of why orwhat got them feeling or what
you know they are doing that hasme feeling like I'm not loved.
(21:20):
So when I go over there and Iget that you know the answers,
because I do have to seek theanswers I'm going to seek
answers by asking questions,because now I have something on
paper where I have this feelingfrom, but I also have answers to
why I'm feeling this way, sothat when I go over there and
(21:43):
talk to the individual, I'm ableto ask questions.
And it's good to not askquestions with the why.
It's good to not ask the whyquestion, because the why
question tends to make peopledefensive.
So it's best to just use thoseother words the what, the where,
the when and the how.
(22:05):
Okay, so try your best not toask the Y question, but all the
other W's and that H you mostdefinitely can use and you're
asking those questions so youcan get the answer to what it
was that you were thinking andwhat it is that you are feeling.
Seek answers, be more curious,but not only be more curious.
(22:27):
Have some courage to go andseek those answers.
So what can we learn from thisepisode?
That transformation comes bychanging your thoughts.
All right, because if youchange your thoughts, you'll
change your world.
So, as I conclude this episode,be kind to yourself as well as
(22:54):
to others.
Hello there.
How are y'all doing on thiswonderful day that the Lord has
made?
I pray you're choosing torejoice and be glad in it.
Also, be grateful for anotherday.
It is another day that you aresingsing, so be grateful.
Take the opportunity to createjoy, peace and love.
(00:21):
Also, be merciful, becauseGod's mercy is new every day
that you see.
Lamentations 3.22 says throughthe Lord's mercy, we are not
consumed, because his compassionfail not.
They are new every morning.
Great is your faithfulness,praise Jesus, hallelujah.
Great is your faithfulness,praise Jesus, hallelujah.
(00:44):
That's letting us know thatGod's mercy is new every morning
and he's always showingcompassion.
So that means that we ought tobe compassionate toward
ourselves as well as beingmerciful.
So if there's something that ison your heart that you have not
(01:07):
forgiven yourself for, I wantyou to take this day to forgive
yourself.
Show yourself some mercy.
Your past does not define whoyou are.
Who you are today is a son or adaughter of God.
You are no longer doing thosethings that you used to do, but
(01:30):
just in case you are doing thosethings that you used to do, I
want you to take thisopportunity to make a decision
to transform, because you firsthave to make a decision, to do
the right thing, to transformyour life.
And so that brings me to thequote of the day, because this
(01:52):
quote says that to change yourthoughts, you change your world,
and that's from Norman VincentPeale.
So if you are trying totransform, that means you have
to change your thoughts.
So, as I'm thinking about thisquote change your thoughts, you
(02:12):
change your world.
I know that it's parallel to ascripture in the Bible and of
course I had just said it beingtransformed by the renewing of
your mind.
But let's read what Romans 12says and do not wait a minute,
hold up, it says and.
(02:32):
So we're going to have to goback and read verse 1.
I beseech you therefore,brethren, by the mercies of God,
that you present your bodies aliving sacrifice, mercies of God
, that you present your bodies aliving sacrifice holy
acceptable to God, which is yourreasonable service, and do not
(02:58):
be conformed to this world, butbe transformed by the renewing
of your mind that you may provewhat is that good and acceptable
and perfect will of God.
So Paul is saying in verse 1that he beseeched us, by the
mercies of God, that we dopresent our bodies a living
sacrifice holy acceptable to God.
(03:19):
So that's talking about ourphysical body.
Verse 1 is so that's talkingabout our physical body.
Verse 1 is and he's also sayingthat it is our reasonable
service to present our bodiesunto God holy and acceptable.
(03:41):
How we make that happen isthrough the mind.
So you have to renew your mindin order to be transformed, in
order to not conform to thisworld.
You have to renew your mind.
That means you have to get adifferent perspective and as you
grow that perspective, you alsogrow your beliefs, and as your
(04:04):
beliefs grow, your behaviorschange.
So that's where thetransformation takes place,
because we are not to beconformed to this world.
Conformed means to come intoalignment with or agree with.
We are not in alignment withwhat this world is saying, that,
how we're supposed to, or evenwhat, how we think we supposed
(04:25):
to behave ourselves.
God has already given us thetruth, the manual, basically,
which is the Bible, on how weare to present ourselves as
believers.
So we learn that by learninghis word, by reading his word,
by also developing arelationship with God, because
(04:49):
as you develop a relationshipwith God, you will have another
perspective, formulating in yourmind, as well as experience
what is going on.
Because as you experience yourrelationship with Christ, you
will be transformed, especiallyafter an encounter with Jesus
(05:14):
Christ.
You know what I mean.
Ooh, bless the Lord.
Because I'm just thinking aboutmy own experience, because I
was able, or I am, I am able toprove what is that good and
acceptable and perfect will ofGod, because I made a decision
(05:36):
to have a personal relationshipwith Christ.
And as I develop a personalrelationship with Christ, I
change my way of thinking byreading the Word of God, because
through that I'm able to knowwho God is and who he is as my
(05:57):
Father, and also who the HolySpirit is as my Comforter.
So through all that, you'reable to be transformed by the
renewing of your mind, becauseit's through my mind first,
where I made a decision and thenI did the work, and here I am
transformed.
So it can happen the same wayfor you as you change your
(06:23):
thoughts.
As you change your thoughts, youchange your world.
So any type of thing that'sgoing on in your life or life
you do want to change, or what Imean by life, that means your
spiritual life, your physicallife, your psychological life,
(06:45):
that's dealing with the soul,your occupational life, your
financial life.
You know financial life, allthat are lives you know, and it
is a part of who we are as ahuman being.
So, as you are trying to figureout how to transform these
lives, you have to change yourway of thinking.
(07:09):
You have to get anotherperspective, because there's
always another perspective onhow to think about something it
really is.
Our worlds are totallydifferent.
Believers of Jesus Christ'sworld, they are totally
different than the world that'sout there.
And as believers, we are alwaysstriving to have that good and
(07:33):
acceptable perfect will of Godby the renewing of our minds.
That means you're alwayskeeping that mind sharp, and the
only way you do that is byknowing God's word and knowing
who he is, and not just knowingwho he is to you, but having a
personal relationship withChrist.
(07:53):
We are responsible for changingour own thoughts.
Okay, no one else can do thisfor us.
We can only do it ourselves.
We have to make the decision tochange our way of thinking.
So, just like this quote says,change your thoughts, you change
your world.
(08:16):
So let's get into our episodefor today.
Last week's episode was aboutthe first step, that means, you
know, to letting go, the firststep to letting go.
That means that we have tofirst make a decision, first
make your decision to let it go,and then we get to the second
(08:36):
step of doing the work ofletting it go, because you can't
just plan something, you can'tjust say something.
You can't just plan something,you can't just say something,
you can't just make a decision.
Once you make that decision, aconscious decision, most
definitely you're going to startdoing the work.
We have to start executingthese plans and thoughts and
(09:03):
these decisions that we'resaying that we're going to do
something.
Following through is basicallywhat it is, but the work is so
important because you do have todo the work.
The work is so importantbecause you do have to do the
work.
If you want the world and yourlife to change, you're going to
(09:24):
have to do the work.
So there's a therapeutictechnique called thought
defusion.
It is developed by the therapyof acceptance and commitment.
This work is simply shiftingyour energy, your attention,
away from what you are stuck onas far as that thought you're
having.
That way of thinking, you know,is really not good, because
(09:48):
when you get stuck on somethingand you have a thought that
keeps repeating itself in yourhead.
You can dictate your moods andyour emotions.
So some people get overwhelmed,some people get anxious, some
people get depressed, and it'sbecause of the thought that
(10:10):
keeps repetitively going on andon and on.
That keep repetitively going onand on and on, and we do not
suppose to be at that point ofthe thinking process, because
thinking is good it really is.
It's good to sit down andprocess your thoughts, but you
do have to go through theprocess of thinking.
(10:32):
You can't just be on this loop,over and over and over,
thinking the same thing, becauseit is going to dictate your
muse.
So, with that being said, thereis a technique called thought
defusion.
That means that you're going todefuse the thought or detach
(10:54):
away from the thought that youcan't seem to get away from.
And there are eight ways todefuse your thoughts according
to this skill.
And you can find theseactivities, these skills, these
things that you can practice athome.
You can find them ontherapistaid dot com.
(11:15):
This is a website that I loveto go to when I'm helping my
clients, you can go on there andlook up any situation that
you're trying to overcome, andthey will give you tools that
you can try to see what works.
That is at therapististAid dotcom.
(11:39):
So with these activities, I wantyou to understand that you have
to find what works for you.
So I'm just going to tell howyou can, you know, let go of
thoughts that you can't seem toget past.
(12:03):
So you can use thought defusionwhen you feel triggered, when
your thoughts are one-sided aswell as when you are lost in
thoughts, when your thoughts areone-sided as well as when you
are lost in thoughts.
So let's say, for example, yourthoughts spike, your anxiety or
your moods get even worse, oryou just tend to be fixated on a
(12:28):
thought and can't seem to startfocusing on other things, can't
seem to start focusing on otherthings, or you get preoccupied
and not present to what'shappening at the moment.
So here are eight activitiesthat you can try, and I'm going
(12:56):
to go through these eight sothat you can see which one will
work for you.
So the first one is put yourthoughts on clouds.
That means that you're going toput a thought on a cloud and
you're just going to watch thecloud go away, drift away right
into the sky, and you're goingto remind yourself that these
clouds come and go, they don'thave any substance.
(13:17):
They don't do anything for you.
So you're just putting thethought on the cloud and you're
visualizing it drift away intothe sky.
The second one is file yourthoughts away.
You visualize folders withlabels for types of thinking
such as predicting, regretting,comparing, doubting and so on.
(13:40):
You can even add shame, guilt,but any type of label that is on
that type of thinking thatyou're thinking.
Just visualize it and thenyou're going to bring attention
to that thought and file it intothat corresponding folder.
The third one is click the Xbutton.
(14:02):
Thoughts can crowd your mindlike dozens of browser windows
on your computer.
Imagine closing the windows byclicking the X on each of these
thoughts that you're having andyou're just going to watch it
disappear one by one.
Now, all of these activitiesare basically visualizing,
(14:24):
imagining things, especiallythese three.
But the fourth one is you'regoing to have to verbalize the
thinking process.
You can start your sentence offby saying I'm having the
thought that, for example, I'mhaving the thought that
so-and-so, so-and-so don't likeme.
(14:44):
If I have a thought thatsomebody don't like me, I need
to process that thought as ifit's just a thought, the process
of thought as if it's just athought.
It's not a fact until I go outthere and find the evidence for
this thought that I'm having.
So if I'm having this thought,I need to go out there and seek
(15:07):
it.
Curiosity is a very good thingto have, because as you become
curious about something, you goout there and seek the answer.
So if I'm having a thoughtabout somebody don't like me,
I'm going to have to go out andask that person why they don't
like me or why I think theydon't like me.
Because when I go over thereand talk to that person, I
(15:29):
should say I'm having thisfeeling that you don't like me.
Are we okay?
Okay, are we good?
Is there anything that you wantto tell me?
You know, because it's good tohave that curiosity so I can
seek answers to the thought thatI'm having instead of me going
(15:50):
down a rabbit hole with thisthought.
But curiosity also comes withcourage, because you do have to
have the courage to walk overthere and ask the question.
All right, so let's get to thefirst one.
Use a silly voice, write downyour upsetting thought and then
read it out loud 10 times in asilly voice.
(16:13):
Try impersonating a cartooncharacter or a favorite actor.
The more ridiculous, the better.
Name the story.
Think of repetitive thoughts asfamiliar stories.
Pay attention to how often theyrecur.
You might spot the I am afailure story.
(16:36):
The no one likes me story.
Or my life is horrible storyyou get the idea.
Or I'm not enough story.
You're just naming the storybecause it's basically letting
you know that these are notfacts, these are just stories.
These are just stories, theseare just thoughts.
But I don't want you to just benaming these stories and just
(17:00):
thinking of these thoughts.
I want you to replace thosethoughts.
But it's good to be aware ofthe type of thoughts that you
are having.
All right, the seventh onescreen your thoughts.
Imagine your thoughts projectedonto a large movie screen.
You're just sitting in thebackground.
You're just watching the movieon phone.
(17:20):
With all these thoughts thatyou have, can you observe the
movie without getting lost in it?
The next one, the last one zoomout when you're filled with a
thought.
Picture yourself rising highabove the earth and notice how
tiny your worries look fromspace.
(17:41):
Does your triggering thoughtfeel as significant from this
distance?
As you zoom yourself going upinto space, you're visualizing
this, of course.
As you zoom yourself going upinto space, you're visualizing
this, of course, you arenoticing that the worries and
(18:05):
the thoughts, how they look fromthe space as you're high up
there in the air, does thetriggering thought feel
significant from this distance?
So here are eight activities.
It would be great if you couldtry them all, and the reason why
I say that is because you dowant to find out if either one
of these will work for you, andif they don't work for you, then
(18:25):
create your own.
Find something that you can useas far as visualizing and
talking out, processing yourthoughts so that they do not
dictate your mood, because it isyour responsibility to be in
(18:45):
control of your thoughts andyour feelings.
If you find yourself beingtriggered by your thoughts, it's
good to process them, but Iwould like for you to do number
four, to say I'm having thesethoughts that it's XYZ, because
(19:07):
the reason why I say that isbecause it's a good way to
process your thinking, becauseyou are letting yourself know
that, hey, this is only athought, this is just something
that is simply in my head and Ihave to find the evidence.
I have to go out there and findthe evidence.
(19:29):
It's my responsibility to findthe evidence.
I mean a lot of people do ittoo.
They sit there and they makethese statements when they're
having conversations with people, especially those they have
conflict with, and the firstthing we do is make statements.
But before you go and make thosestatements to that other person
(19:52):
, it's good to process thethinking first, where you're
thinking about what it is thatis affecting you, about what the
other person is doing, because,as you are sitting there
thinking you're going to bewriting it down or saying it
that I'm having the thought thatX-Y-Z he is, he does not love
(20:16):
me.
Okay, you're having the thoughtthat he does not love you.
What is it about him, or whatis it about him that's showing
you that he does not love you?
And you write it down.
You write down those answersand as you write down those
answers, you have to askyourself is this the evidence?
(20:36):
Is he really showing thesethings?
Because we can feel a certainway by what we're thinking and
those are two separate thingstoo because I can feel like
somebody does not love me.
I can think that somebody doesnot love me, but do I have the
(20:59):
evidence that I'm not beingloved?
Do I have the evidenceindividual?
Because I am curious of why orwhat got them feeling or what
you know they are doing that hasme feeling like I'm not loved.
(21:20):
So when I go over there and Iget that you know the answers,
because I do have to seek theanswers I'm going to seek
answers by asking questions,because now I have something on
paper where I have this feelingfrom, but I also have answers to
why I'm feeling this way, sothat when I go over there and
(21:43):
talk to the individual, I'm ableto ask questions.
And it's good to not askquestions with the why.
It's good to not ask the whyquestion, because the why
question tends to make peopledefensive.
So it's best to just use thoseother words the what, the where,
the when and the how.
(22:05):
Okay, so try your best not toask the Y question, but all the
other W's and that H you mostdefinitely can use and you're
asking those questions so youcan get the answer to what it
was that you were thinking andwhat it is that you are feeling.
Seek answers, be more curious,but not only be more curious.
(22:27):
Have some courage to go andseek those answers.
So what can we learn from thisepisode?
That transformation comes bychanging your thoughts.
All right, because if youchange your thoughts, you'll
change your world.
So, as I conclude this episode,be kind to yourself as well as
(22:54):
to others.
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