November 27, 2024 • 12 mins
Have you ever noticed that as the years go by, your tolerance for life's little annoyances seems to shrink? Join me as we unpack this common thread many of us encounter: growing irritability. In this episode of Mental Health-ish, we talk about anger and its unexpected role in personal growth.
This episode invites you to reflect on the emotional patterns you've been noticing and what they might be trying to teach you. By sitting with our feelings without judgment, we can create a more compassionate relationship with ourselves.
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Website: www.mentalhealth-ish.com
Host: zuppysue
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi everyone, welcome back to Mental Health-ish.
It's been a while since Irecorded, but if you're
listening to this now, Iappreciate you being here.
And I mean, life is life and soI figured I'll just kind of
record whenever I get a chanceto and just kind of share some
(00:20):
of the life lessons and justkind of themes life themes that
I've been experiencing and I'vebeen noticing a lot like have
any of you guys noticed that asyou've gotten older, you've
gotten angrier, or is that justme?
Like, as you've gotten older,like things just annoy you more.
(00:44):
You're kind of like you don'thave time for the crap, I guess
you could say, and so I don'tknow, is that just me?
But anywho, that's part of thetheme that I wanted to discuss
today is, I was talking with.
I've been talking to a therapist, you know, for the past two
(01:05):
months now and we've done a lotof really good work and I feel
like just a little side note, Ifeel like a little bit of
heaviness has been lifted off ofme and stuff like that.
But one of the things that sheasked me the other day was and
(01:38):
one of the things that she askedme the other day was how do you
think?
What do you think is the rightway to manage anger, like when
you're feeling angry or upsetabout something, what is the
proper way?
Right in feeling calm, beingcalm, cool, collected, you know,
remaining calm, being able tounderstand the other person's
perspective, like if you'rearguing with someone, like being
able to keep an open mind andlisten, like listen to what the
(02:01):
other person has to say, youknow being able to have a
conversation, just be calm, thattype of stuff.
And she said something reallyinteresting to me that I hadn't
thought about.
She said, you know, sometimesit's okay to be angry.
You don't have to be calm, cooland collected all the time.
And she described feeling angryas kind of like a I don't want
(02:29):
to say like animalistic, butjust kind of like it's human.
You're human, you know, andyou're going to experience all
of these crazy differentemotions every day, and anger is
one of them.
Like you're going to be angryabout certain things and it's
okay, you know.
And so she told me sometimesit's okay to be angry and it's
(02:51):
okay to not be calm, cool andcollected.
It's okay to want to scream,it's okay to want to, like, you
know, punch a pillow or hitsomething right, like that's
okay, like it's okay to expressfeelings, it's okay to feel
these things.
And I think that's kind of beenthe theme that I've been hearing
(03:16):
a lot or like just kind ofpicking up on a lot lately, is
being able to express yourfeelings and sit with your
feelings and not feeling ashamedabout it.
And that kind of reminded me,and when I'm talking about
themes, I want you guys tonotice, like throughout the week
or even month, whatever, butwhat are like themes that stick
(03:40):
out to you a lot, that just kindof keep sticking out to you,
and so for me it has been thisright, like just anger, like
feeling your feelings it's okay,like sitting with your feelings
, like that's something thatkeeps coming up a lot in things
like whether it be like I'mscrolling on social media and I
(04:01):
read something about it.
I'm talking about it with mytherapist, so, yeah, like if
you're able to in your own life,like kind of just think about
it, like what are some themesthat have been kind of thrown at
you lately, or what have youbeen picking up, and then kind
of just like, what is it tryingto teach you, you know, from
(04:22):
those themes that you guys areable to pick up, just kind of
think about what is this tryingto teach me, what is this trying
to show me?
So, anywho, so I was scrollingon threads.
So threads is part of Instagram, so it it's kind of, if you
don't have it, it's kind of likeTwitter, so a lot of people
post, you know, like writtenthings or whatnot written posts.
(04:46):
So the app is called Threads.
I've been on Threads a lotlately and just kind of reading
through things and for somereason my algorithm has been on
Threads, has been stuck ondating.
Even though I'm not datingright now or anything, my
(05:07):
threads it's kind of stuck inthat algorithm.
So I see a lot of posts ofpeople's like dates, of how you
know dating experiences, justweird posts like that.
But, anywho, one of the poststhat I bumped into recently this
week again with the theme right, it was a guy that said a guy
(05:28):
posted on his threads.
My therapist told me that Ishould sit with my feelings, and
so he said he was talking tohis therapist about dating and
how he feels rejected a lot, andso his therapist recommended to
him that he should sit in hisfeelings, and so his feeling in
(05:51):
that moment was rejection.
So he started asking peopleonline on threads does anyone
want to reject me?
So that I could feel rejectedfor about an hour or two.
So you know, I just want to sitin my feelings, right and just
feel rejected for an hour.
You know, I just want to sit inmy feelings right and just feel
rejected for an hour.
And I thought that was so funnybecause I was like that's not
(06:14):
how it works and I'm pretty surethat's not what she meant when
she said sit with your feelingsor sit in your feelings.
So, anyways, I wanted to sharewith you guys what sitting with
your feelings actually means andwhat it could kind of look like
for you and for me, becausethat's something that we're all
practicing, right, and so yeah,so sitting with your feelings
(06:38):
means allowing yourself to fullyexperience your emotions
without judgment or distraction.
And when I'm saying withoutjudgment, it's like without that
self-judgment, right, that wewere so hard on ourselves.
So that was one of the thingsin my example that I mentioned,
(06:59):
right, feeling angry.
So if I'm feeling angry aboutsomething, not judging myself
because I'm feeling that way, sonot telling myself okay, you
shouldn't be feeling angry, youshould be calm, cool, collected,
you know you should be calm.
So that's what I'm talkingabout with judgment a little bit
, and distraction, obviously.
(07:20):
So in my situation, like if I'mfeeling angry not trying to
avoid it, not trying to, youknow, push it under the rug.
So sitting with your feelingsinvolves taking the time to
understand what you're feelingand why you're feeling this way,
instead of trying to avoidthose feelings.
(07:41):
So this practice can help yougain insight into your emotional
state, increase yourself-awareness and it can also
help with healing.
So, when you guys think aboutit, if we're feeling angry about
something and we're justpushing it under the rug,
there's only so much like hidingof the emotion that you could
(08:03):
do before you're going to blowup.
Or like, if you're having anargument with someone, right, if
something's making you upsetand you're just kind of pushing
it under the rug, you're goingto blow up.
Or like, if you're having anargument with someone, right, if
something's making you upsetand you're just kind of pushing
it under the rug, over timeyou're going to start building
resentment towards that person,right?
So definitely it's a practiceto where you don't want to
(08:24):
ignore or kind of just put thosefeelings aside for so long.
Ignore or kind of just putthose feelings aside for so long
, which is what a lot of us tendto do and which is what a lot
of us were taught right growingup.
It's like don't show anyemotion, don't cry.
Why are you angry?
Like don't do that.
So it's definitely somethingthat can be hard to break, but
(08:47):
it's doable.
So what does that look like?
Sitting with your feelings caninclude mindfulness techniques
such as like just sitting, stilltaking some deep breaths,
meditation or simply beingpresent in the moment, which can
(09:07):
help you explore your feelingsin a safe and compassionate way.
So, being present in the moment, right, like no distractions,
no phone, maybe, just kind ofsitting there, really
acknowledging the feeling thatyou're feeling, like how you're
feeling, so like angry right,for example, and where in your
(09:28):
body you're feeling it?
Am I feeling it?
On my arms, my legs, my face,my chest right, my heart, my
heart's pounding, so whereveryou're feeling that emotion in
your body, and just kind ofbeing present, just letting
yourself feel that, justliterally letting yourself feel
that present, just lettingyourself feel that, just
(09:48):
literally letting yourself feelthat, taking a few deep breaths,
right, and just acknowledgingit instead of, just like I said,
pushing it under the rug andjust like trying to move forward
and, like you know, being calm,like, yeah, like over over time
, it's just it's just nothealthy and it's just gonna
(10:09):
you're gonna erupt like avolcano, right, and so that's
one of the things that I've beenor I will be practicing, and so
if this kind of resonated withyou, let me know.
Let me know if you can relate,if there's something that you've
been kind of sweeping under therug, an emotion, what that
emotion is for you.
You've been kind of sweepingunder the rug and emotion, what
(10:30):
that emotion is for you, andhopefully you're able to just
take a few minutes to just sitdown and just feel what you're
feeling, without any judgment,without being too hard on
yourself.
And so, yeah, let me know.
Let me know how it works foryou, how you feel.
I will be practicing this, butI just thought I wanted to share
this theme that just kind ofkept coming up for me the past
(10:54):
two weeks and, yeah, we'll seewhat the next theme is that
comes up, other than that man.
I feel like I've just beenworking right story of my life
and just been working a lot,really trying to be more present
(11:15):
with Emma and do things withher.
We've been going to Disney alot.
I just renewed our passesbecause I really want to take
advantage of her being little.
I feel like I just have such alimited amount of time left with
her, like to with, like herwith her, like actually wanting
to hang out with me and like goplaces.
(11:37):
She turned eight in September,so I feel like my.
You know, I just want to do allthe things with her.
I've been doing a lot of YouTubelong YouTube videos with the
things that we do.
So if that's something that youguys want to check out, go
ahead and check out my YouTubechannel, zappisue1.
(11:58):
And I'm sure the link issomewhere.
I'll include the link somewherein the description or the links
in my Instagram too, if youfollow my Instagram.
But anywho, I'm trying torevamp, as usual, the podcast
and the blog, and so hopefullyI'll be able to blog something
(12:20):
soon.
So go ahead and check out myold blogs and episodes that I
have on the website,mentalhealthishcom.
But yeah, if you're listeningto this, give me a thumbs up,
let me know your thoughts onthis theme and, yeah, thank you
so much for listening, untilnext time.
Hi everyone, welcome back to Mental Health-ish.
It's been a while since Irecorded, but if you're
listening to this now, Iappreciate you being here.
And I mean, life is life and soI figured I'll just kind of
record whenever I get a chanceto and just kind of share some
(00:20):
of the life lessons and justkind of themes life themes that
I've been experiencing and I'vebeen noticing a lot like have
any of you guys noticed that asyou've gotten older, you've
gotten angrier, or is that justme?
Like, as you've gotten older,like things just annoy you more.
(00:44):
You're kind of like you don'thave time for the crap, I guess
you could say, and so I don'tknow, is that just me?
But anywho, that's part of thetheme that I wanted to discuss
today is, I was talking with.
I've been talking to a therapist, you know, for the past two
(01:05):
months now and we've done a lotof really good work and I feel
like just a little side note, Ifeel like a little bit of
heaviness has been lifted off ofme and stuff like that.
But one of the things that sheasked me the other day was and
(01:38):
one of the things that she askedme the other day was how do you
think?
What do you think is the rightway to manage anger, like when
you're feeling angry or upsetabout something, what is the
proper way?
Right in feeling calm, beingcalm, cool, collected, you know,
remaining calm, being able tounderstand the other person's
perspective, like if you'rearguing with someone, like being
able to keep an open mind andlisten, like listen to what the
(02:01):
other person has to say, youknow being able to have a
conversation, just be calm, thattype of stuff.
And she said something reallyinteresting to me that I hadn't
thought about.
She said, you know, sometimesit's okay to be angry.
You don't have to be calm, cooland collected all the time.
And she described feeling angryas kind of like a I don't want
(02:29):
to say like animalistic, butjust kind of like it's human.
You're human, you know, andyou're going to experience all
of these crazy differentemotions every day, and anger is
one of them.
Like you're going to be angryabout certain things and it's
okay, you know.
And so she told me sometimesit's okay to be angry and it's
(02:51):
okay to not be calm, cool andcollected.
It's okay to want to scream,it's okay to want to, like, you
know, punch a pillow or hitsomething right, like that's
okay, like it's okay to expressfeelings, it's okay to feel
these things.
And I think that's kind of beenthe theme that I've been hearing
(03:16):
a lot or like just kind ofpicking up on a lot lately, is
being able to express yourfeelings and sit with your
feelings and not feeling ashamedabout it.
And that kind of reminded me,and when I'm talking about
themes, I want you guys tonotice, like throughout the week
or even month, whatever, butwhat are like themes that stick
(03:40):
out to you a lot, that just kindof keep sticking out to you,
and so for me it has been thisright, like just anger, like
feeling your feelings it's okay,like sitting with your feelings
, like that's something thatkeeps coming up a lot in things
like whether it be like I'mscrolling on social media and I
(04:01):
read something about it.
I'm talking about it with mytherapist, so, yeah, like if
you're able to in your own life,like kind of just think about
it, like what are some themesthat have been kind of thrown at
you lately, or what have youbeen picking up, and then kind
of just like, what is it tryingto teach you, you know, from
(04:22):
those themes that you guys areable to pick up, just kind of
think about what is this tryingto teach me, what is this trying
to show me?
So, anywho, so I was scrollingon threads.
So threads is part of Instagram, so it it's kind of, if you
don't have it, it's kind of likeTwitter, so a lot of people
post, you know, like writtenthings or whatnot written posts.
(04:46):
So the app is called Threads.
I've been on Threads a lotlately and just kind of reading
through things and for somereason my algorithm has been on
Threads, has been stuck ondating.
Even though I'm not datingright now or anything, my
(05:07):
threads it's kind of stuck inthat algorithm.
So I see a lot of posts ofpeople's like dates, of how you
know dating experiences, justweird posts like that.
But, anywho, one of the poststhat I bumped into recently this
week again with the theme right, it was a guy that said a guy
(05:28):
posted on his threads.
My therapist told me that Ishould sit with my feelings, and
so he said he was talking tohis therapist about dating and
how he feels rejected a lot, andso his therapist recommended to
him that he should sit in hisfeelings, and so his feeling in
(05:51):
that moment was rejection.
So he started asking peopleonline on threads does anyone
want to reject me?
So that I could feel rejectedfor about an hour or two.
So you know, I just want to sitin my feelings, right and just
feel rejected for an hour.
You know, I just want to sit inmy feelings right and just feel
rejected for an hour.
And I thought that was so funnybecause I was like that's not
(06:14):
how it works and I'm pretty surethat's not what she meant when
she said sit with your feelingsor sit in your feelings.
So, anyways, I wanted to sharewith you guys what sitting with
your feelings actually means andwhat it could kind of look like
for you and for me, becausethat's something that we're all
practicing, right, and so yeah,so sitting with your feelings
(06:38):
means allowing yourself to fullyexperience your emotions
without judgment or distraction.
And when I'm saying withoutjudgment, it's like without that
self-judgment, right, that wewere so hard on ourselves.
So that was one of the thingsin my example that I mentioned,
(06:59):
right, feeling angry.
So if I'm feeling angry aboutsomething, not judging myself
because I'm feeling that way, sonot telling myself okay, you
shouldn't be feeling angry, youshould be calm, cool, collected,
you know you should be calm.
So that's what I'm talkingabout with judgment a little bit
, and distraction, obviously.
(07:20):
So in my situation, like if I'mfeeling angry not trying to
avoid it, not trying to, youknow, push it under the rug.
So sitting with your feelingsinvolves taking the time to
understand what you're feelingand why you're feeling this way,
instead of trying to avoidthose feelings.
(07:41):
So this practice can help yougain insight into your emotional
state, increase yourself-awareness and it can also
help with healing.
So, when you guys think aboutit, if we're feeling angry about
something and we're justpushing it under the rug,
there's only so much like hidingof the emotion that you could
(08:03):
do before you're going to blowup.
Or like, if you're having anargument with someone, right, if
something's making you upsetand you're just kind of pushing
it under the rug, you're goingto blow up.
Or like, if you're having anargument with someone, right, if
something's making you upsetand you're just kind of pushing
it under the rug, over timeyou're going to start building
resentment towards that person,right?
So definitely it's a practiceto where you don't want to
(08:24):
ignore or kind of just put thosefeelings aside for so long.
Ignore or kind of just putthose feelings aside for so long
, which is what a lot of us tendto do and which is what a lot
of us were taught right growingup.
It's like don't show anyemotion, don't cry.
Why are you angry?
Like don't do that.
So it's definitely somethingthat can be hard to break, but
(08:47):
it's doable.
So what does that look like?
Sitting with your feelings caninclude mindfulness techniques
such as like just sitting, stilltaking some deep breaths,
meditation or simply beingpresent in the moment, which can
(09:07):
help you explore your feelingsin a safe and compassionate way.
So, being present in the moment, right, like no distractions,
no phone, maybe, just kind ofsitting there, really
acknowledging the feeling thatyou're feeling, like how you're
feeling, so like angry right,for example, and where in your
(09:28):
body you're feeling it?
Am I feeling it?
On my arms, my legs, my face,my chest right, my heart, my
heart's pounding, so whereveryou're feeling that emotion in
your body, and just kind ofbeing present, just letting
yourself feel that, justliterally letting yourself feel
that present, just lettingyourself feel that, just
(09:48):
literally letting yourself feelthat, taking a few deep breaths,
right, and just acknowledgingit instead of, just like I said,
pushing it under the rug andjust like trying to move forward
and, like you know, being calm,like, yeah, like over over time
, it's just it's just nothealthy and it's just gonna
(10:09):
you're gonna erupt like avolcano, right, and so that's
one of the things that I've beenor I will be practicing, and so
if this kind of resonated withyou, let me know.
Let me know if you can relate,if there's something that you've
been kind of sweeping under therug, an emotion, what that
emotion is for you.
You've been kind of sweepingunder the rug and emotion, what
(10:30):
that emotion is for you, andhopefully you're able to just
take a few minutes to just sitdown and just feel what you're
feeling, without any judgment,without being too hard on
yourself.
And so, yeah, let me know.
Let me know how it works foryou, how you feel.
I will be practicing this, butI just thought I wanted to share
this theme that just kind ofkept coming up for me the past
(10:54):
two weeks and, yeah, we'll seewhat the next theme is that
comes up, other than that man.
I feel like I've just beenworking right story of my life
and just been working a lot,really trying to be more present
(11:15):
with Emma and do things withher.
We've been going to Disney alot.
I just renewed our passesbecause I really want to take
advantage of her being little.
I feel like I just have such alimited amount of time left with
her, like to with, like herwith her, like actually wanting
to hang out with me and like goplaces.
(11:37):
She turned eight in September,so I feel like my.
You know, I just want to do allthe things with her.
I've been doing a lot of YouTubelong YouTube videos with the
things that we do.
So if that's something that youguys want to check out, go
ahead and check out my YouTubechannel, zappisue1.
(11:58):
And I'm sure the link issomewhere.
I'll include the link somewherein the description or the links
in my Instagram too, if youfollow my Instagram.
But anywho, I'm trying torevamp, as usual, the podcast
and the blog, and so hopefullyI'll be able to blog something
(12:20):
soon.
So go ahead and check out myold blogs and episodes that I
have on the website,mentalhealthishcom.
But yeah, if you're listeningto this, give me a thumbs up,
let me know your thoughts onthis theme and, yeah, thank you
so much for listening, untilnext time.
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