June 5, 2025 • 17 mins
Click to text me what you got out of this episode.
Remember scribbling down those impossibly long Nintendo 64 save codes? Turns out, there are similar shortcuts for navigating the game of life—psychological "cheat codes" that can transform how we handle stress, relationships, and personal growth.
Licensed clinical social worker Danny Clark unpacks 15 powerful mental strategies drawn from therapy, personal experience, and psychological research. These aren't quick fixes but fundamental mindset shifts that create lasting change. From the counterintuitive power of speaking less to the neurological benefits of quality sleep, each code offers a practical approach to common challenges.
Clark explains why discipline consistently beats motivation, how confidence is built rather than inherited, and why no one is watching you as closely as you believe. He demystifies resilience as simply showing up on tough days and reframes "no" as a complete sentence that reinforces healthy boundaries. Perhaps most powerfully, he reveals why staying calm during conflict gives you the upper hand and how unhealed wounds inevitably leak into our relationships.
These mental shortcuts work because they align with how our brains naturally function. The spotlight effect explains why we overestimate others' judgment. The parasympathetic nervous system activates when we remain calm under pressure. Neural pathways strengthen through tiny, consistent habits. By understanding these psychological mechanisms, we gain access to strategies that feel like "cheats" but are actually evidence-based approaches to better mental health.
Ready to level up your life? Try implementing just one of these cheat codes this week. The beauty is you don't need to master them all—even small shifts can unlock new possibilities. Share what works with someone else, because as Clark reminds us, that's what living is all about: passing along the wisdom we've earned through our own struggles and growth.
About Danny Clark
Danny Clark is a licensed clinical social worker and family therapist based in Houston, Texas. As the founder of Texas Insight Center, he specializes in helping individuals, couples, and families navigate mental health challenges with practical, evidence-based approaches.
💡 Is therapy right for you? Let’s talk. If you’re struggling with stress or emotional regulation or just want to explore healthier coping strategies, reach out for a consultation. Visit www.texasinsightcenter.com to learn more and schedule a session.
📩 Have a question or topic suggestion? Send it to danny@texasinsightcenter.com
You can also follow me on Instagram @texasinsightcenter or visit my webpage at texasinsightcenter.com
Join the conversation! Share your key takeaways using #MentalHealthPotluck or tag me on social media.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Danny (00:25):
so let me take you back for a second.
You remember those old schoolvideo games, like in the
Nintendo 64, games that I reallyloved, like Metroid, which was
really neat because it was sortof this hybrid between Super
Mario and Zelda, which isactually the way they developed
it.
But what was really interestingwas how you saved your game.
The way you saved your game,the way you saved your game, was
(00:46):
with these ridiculous 24character codes and you had to
scribble it down, and if youlost the code, you were having
to start from scratch.
But sometimes someone wouldhand you the cheat code and they
might give you three or four ofthem and you try one and it
works.
You try another one and itworks, but it doesn't give you
exactly what you need, and soone of the things that this made
(01:06):
me think about was how thisworks in therapy.
Welcome to Mental Health Potluck, where everyone brings
something to the table.
I'm Danny Clark, a licensedclinical social worker, family
therapist and recoveringoverthinker.
This podcast serves upbite-sized mental health
(01:27):
insights, practical wellnesstips and conversations that
nourish the mind and soul, andtoday I'm talking about cheat
codes, not the kind that youenter with the game, the kind
that help you navigate parenting, adulting, burnout, leadership
and all those existential sidequests that just come up on a
(01:49):
daily basis.
So here are 15 cheat codes,with one bonus one.
That's basically a shamelessplug to go to therapy, but these
are ones that either I havegotten from other people, I've
learned in my own therapy, orI've shared with others and seen
that they've worked.
So here's the first cheat codethat I use quite often, not only
with my clients, but with mykids and with myself, and it's
(02:10):
that speaking less says a wholelot more.
The fewer words you use, themore people listen, because
silence signals confidence andself-control.
When you talk less, people leanin more.
I mean physically, they'll leanin more.
It's human psychology Silencemakes you seem more thoughtful,
and when you do speak, yourwords land harder.
The fewer the fillers, the morethe impact.
(02:39):
So here's number two Sleepsolves more than you think.
That's right.
Deep sleep repairs your brainand your body, boosting your
mood, your memory anddecision-making abilities.
Sleep isn't lazy, right, it'snot that thing where oh, I can.
Sleep is making me healthier.
There's a limit to it, yes, butit is strategic.
When you sleep deeply, yourbrain clears toxins, it restores
your energy, and one of thethings that happens the most is
(03:01):
that it really helps sharpenyour focus for the next day.
Have you ever like not gottengood sleep and then everything
you tried to do, any decisionmaking, anything you had going
on, was much more difficult thenext day?
That's because of sleep,because it's good medicine, and
how you manage your sleep isjust as important.
As a matter of fact, when I'mwith my clients, one of the
(03:21):
first few things we sort of diveinto is let's talk about how
you're sleeping, because ifyou're not getting good sleep,
then the rest of your day isalready running on three wheels.
So it's a big part of how do weget through our daily lives.
I know some people that the waythey do their sleep is like
super critical, because they'veseen the benefit of making sure
(03:42):
it's always the best sleep theycan get.
They do much better on aday-to-day basis with a lot of
things, whether it's recoveringfrom a sickness or, you know,
dealing with stress, any of thatkind of stuff.
It's pretty interesting really.
So that brings us to numberthree, which is that one tiny
habit can rewrite your story.
So if you're not getting thegood sleep, try to change your
(04:05):
habit.
You see, a consistent smallchange can rewire neural
pathways.
It creates like this, rippleeffect on your entire life, and
so small daily habits stack upinto huge life shifts.
Your brain thrives onrepetition, so that one tiny act
it teaches your mind to build anew identity.
So take sleep, for example.
(04:25):
If you are inconsistent withthe time that you go to sleep
every night, some nights youstay up way longer than you
should, some nights you don't.
If you make a tiny habit ofsaying, okay, every night I shut
everything down and go to bedat 10 o'clock, and you do that
for a little while.
There's other things you mightknow to start to change too.
So it's a huge part of ourdaily lives.
(04:46):
When we are trying to improveor change something that we're
doing, we take it into smallpieces.
I always say how do you eat anelephant?
One bite at a time.
So here's number four, sincewe're sticking with changing
behaviors and habits.
Discipline beats motivationhands down.
Motivation is fleeting, butdiscipline creates habits that
(05:11):
automate success and reducestress.
You see, motivation is like aspark it's bright but it's
short-lived.
Discipline builds the fire thatkeeps you going long after
motivation dies out.
And motivation will die out.
We're faced with stressors,we're faced with obstacles and
things that can diminish that.
But consistency with disciplineis what helps us go forward.
(05:32):
So if we're trying to getbetter sleep, we want to be
disciplined about sticking to aroutine.
If we are just motivated to doit for a few days and we start
to see the benefit and we startto slack off from it, well then
motivation won over discipline.
But you can't have disciplinewithout the confidence to do
(05:55):
what it is you say you're goingto do.
You see, because number five isconfidence is self-trust and
action.
When you can keep your promisesto yourself, it builds internal
integrity, it strengthens yoursense of control and confidence
comes from doing what you sayyou're going to do.
When you show yourself that youcan be trusted, it sort of
(06:15):
rewrites your brain to believeyou're in control and that
control helps change habits,helps improve your life and can
help get through difficult,stressful times as well, because
you trust yourself to getthrough these things.
Number six is that confidence islearned.
It's not like a gift.
You see, everyone struggleswith self-doubt.
(06:36):
But stepping into discomfortbuilds authentic confidence.
Nobody's born confident.
It's built by pushing past thediscomfort again and again until
it feels natural.
So while you might feel like,oh well, if I was only confident
, I could change these habits,well, you have to lean into this
discomfort in order to buildthe confidence, in order to get
(06:57):
through the habits.
So they all connect in a lot ofdifferent ways.
We're not just given confidence, and the way we're raised can
help foster confidence, but it'sstill something that we have to
learn and we can change at anytime.
(07:20):
This brings us to number seventhat no one is watching as much
as you think they are.
We live in a life of chaos andmistakes and error and suffering
.
There's a thing called thespotlight effect, which is
basically this belief thatothers notice your flaws, but in
reality, everybody's busynoticing their own flaws and
being worried about that.
(07:41):
Other people see their flawsthan they are worried about what
flaws of yours they see.
It's really sort of this way ofbuilding self-criticism.
Self-criticism can diminish ourconfidence.
It can diminish our ability tostay focused.
It can also diminish thatmotivation that helps us create
the discipline, to create thehabit to make our lives better
so we can get a full night'ssleep.
(08:07):
Which brings us to number eight.
You see, when we have thesetimes where we're losing
confidence or we make a mistake,we can cling to it for a long
time.
So number eight is let it go.
Most things don't really matter.
Your brain magnifies minorissues due to negative bias, but
letting go rewrites it forresilience.
Your brain loves to overreact,but letting go of small stuff
(08:29):
teaches it to focus on whatreally matters.
That's resilience and training.
And the one thing you don'thear a lot of people talk about
with resilience isself-resilience is basically a
do-over.
It's a get out of jail free,cardjail-free card.
It's a way of saying okay, madea mistake, let's move forward.
If we overreact, if we stayfocused on the negative side,
(08:50):
and that this one misstep isgoing to change the course of
whatever it is we're trying todo, going forward in such a way
that it's far beyond the realityof things, well then that's not
resilience.
That's falling victim to ourown problems.
So letting go is the biggestgift you can give yourself.
Which brings us to number nine.
(09:14):
Showing up, especially on toughdays, is really critical for
resilience.
You see, taking action despitediscomfort rewires your brain to
associate effort withresilience and growth.
Success isn't about feelingready, it's about showing up
regardless.
That's how your brain learnsresilience.
So, knowing that it's going tobe tough or that you're going to
have some challenges, but stillmoving ahead.
(09:35):
That's where resilience comesfrom.
Just like we talked aboutdiscipline and confidence, same
with showing up and resilience.
It all ties together.
It's just different ways ofwrapping it up in different
kinds of pretty bows.
Here's number 10.
Learning to say no guilt-free Iwill often say no is a complete
sentence and a perfectlyreasonable answer.
(09:56):
Saying no advocates andactivates healthy assertiveness,
reducing stress and reinforcingyour boundaries.
When you don't want to partakein something.
Saying no doesn't make you avillain.
It makes you someone whorespects your own time and
energy.
So learning to say no and notfeel guilty about it is a big
part of growing inself-confidence.
(10:17):
Brings us to number 11.
How you let people treat yousets the tone.
You see your boundaries teachothers your value, reinforcing
self-respect and resilience.
You see people learn how totreat you by what you tolerate.
When you enforce healthyboundaries, it tells the world
you value yourself and they'llrespect you for it more.
Which leads us to number 12.
(10:41):
Don't waste your energy onarguments.
People argue to assert control,but letting go preserves your
mental resources and peace.
So when you set thoseboundaries, you can sometimes
introduce arguments, mostarguments are ego traps.
Letting go isn't giving up,it's conserving your emotional
energy for things that mattermost.
So pick your arguments, pickyour times when it's important
(11:02):
to advocate for yourself.
But just arguing for the sakeof arguing, that's simply an ego
trip.
And circling back to number one, saying less means a lot more.
Just like they say, better toremain silent and be thought a
fool than to speak and removeall doubt.
So now we've reached number 13,which I think is a pretty
important one.
Calm is a hidden superpower, yousee.
(11:23):
A calm mind activates theparasympathetic nervous system,
helping you think clearer andact smarter.
Staying calm during stressisn't passive, it's powerful.
It keeps your brain inproblem-solving mode instead of
panic mode.
The calmer your response, themore control you hold.
So emotional regulation rewiresyour prefrontal cortex,
strengthening your ability tostay composed, which is why in
(11:44):
therapy, we work on emotionalregulation.
So reacting calmly shows you'rethe one in control and it keeps
the power in your hand,especially in an argument.
Number 14 is listen more thanyou speak.
Now, that's not the same asspeaking less.
(12:07):
You see, active listeningfosters trust and connection and
it's creating psychologicalsafety in relationships.
Okay, if people feel like theycan talk to you, it's because
they feel like you're listening.
And when they feel like you'relistening, then they feel valued
.
And that's because listening ismagnetic.
It makes others feel that valueand opens doors to connection,
(12:28):
trust and unexpectedopportunities.
And when we're talking aboutactive listening, it's not a
matter of just sitting theredeadpan face listening to
somebody.
It's actively listening,reacting to what they're saying,
looking at them and keeping eyecontact and making sure that
they know you are engaged andlistening fully.
Now, that can be hard ifsomebody is a little wordy or if
(12:51):
somebody has personality ofdroning on about things.
But if you can stay focused,the better it is for your
relationship with that person.
So number 15 is probablycritical for everybody to think
about, especially in the worldwhere we get so distracted.
(13:11):
Time is your most valuablecurrency.
There is nothing more expensivethan your time.
So invest it wisely, becauseyou can't earn back time once
it's spent and your choicesshape your life.
Time isn't just money, it'smore valuable.
Spend it like the rare resourceit is because it's the one
thing you cannot get back in anyway, shape or form.
(13:33):
And so when we are findingreasons to procrastinate or
we're looking for things that wewant to do instead of what we
need to be doing, or thediscipline to stick with
something becomes wavering.
We have to remember that thetime we're taking away from what
it ever is our goal is is time.
We don't get back, and nothingtells you more that the value of
(13:54):
your time is important thanwhen you lose the time or you
lose the people that you had theopportunity to have time with,
or you lost the people that youhad the opportunity to have time
with, or you lost theopportunity to do something you
wanted to do because you spentit doing something else.
So that's probably one of themost important.
And the last one is that youwant to heal your wounds or hurt
(14:16):
others.
If you don't heal your ownwounds, if you don't work on
your own stuff, then whathappens is you hurt those around
you.
Unresolved pain leaks intorelationships through projection
, resentment and defensiveness.
Hurt people, hurt people.
It's science we know.
A lot of the research indicatesthis.
That's why we see generationaltrauma.
We see these patterns ofbehaviors where one generation
(14:39):
has the same essential mentalhealth issues than another.
While some of it is hereditary,a lot of it is behavioral,
because we're in an environmentwhere unhealed people are
causing people to be unhealthy,and healing your own wounds is
the best way to stop the cycleand create healthy connections.
Which is why and it is anobvious plug going to therapy
(15:00):
can be one of the biggest cheatcodes of all times.
Therapy can be difficult, but italso is very supportive, and
it's one of those places where,if you find the right therapist,
the one that understands andcan appreciate what it is that
you're dealing with, that's agolden ticket to a better life.
It's not a matter of I have togo to therapy because there's
something terrible happening inmy life.
(15:21):
It can be I go to therapybecause I'm trying to get a
better job.
I go into therapy because Iwant to learn how to have more
confidence when I'm ininterviews, or I'm going to
therapy because I havedifficulty working with a
certain group of people.
There can be a lot of reasonswhy we go to therapy, and it
doesn't have to always be thatI'm depressed or I'm anxious or
I'm stressed.
(15:42):
It can be simply because youwant to improve in something,
whether it's weight loss,whether it's to reduce the
amount of time you procrastinate, or whether it's just to excel
in the career that you'reworking with.
That's what therapy can do foryou.
There's a lot of reasons whypeople go to therapy, but
there's a lot of reasons whypeople don't, and the ones that
don't go to therapy sometimesare the ones that are actually
(16:05):
hurting those around themwithout even realizing that's
happening.
So I encourage everyone to giveit a shot.
So there you go 21 cheat codesthat won't unlock invincibility,
but they just might unlockclarity.
These aren't life hacks.
They're mindset shifts, and thebeautiful thing is that you
(16:27):
don't have to master them all.
Just try one this week, seewhat happens, and when you find
a cheat code that really worksfor you, share it with somebody.
That's what living is all aboutSharing what you learn, giving
somebody else the gift of whatit is you had to go through to
improve and better yourself.
Thanks for being here with metoday.
I'm Danny Clark, and this isMental Health Potluck, where
(16:48):
everyone brings something to thetable, and today that something
was a little pixel-poweredwisdom for the road.
See you next time, thank youyou.
so let me take you back for a second.
You remember those old schoolvideo games, like in the
Nintendo 64, games that I reallyloved, like Metroid, which was
really neat because it was sortof this hybrid between Super
Mario and Zelda, which isactually the way they developed
it.
But what was really interestingwas how you saved your game.
The way you saved your game,the way you saved your game, was
(00:46):
with these ridiculous 24character codes and you had to
scribble it down, and if youlost the code, you were having
to start from scratch.
But sometimes someone wouldhand you the cheat code and they
might give you three or four ofthem and you try one and it
works.
You try another one and itworks, but it doesn't give you
exactly what you need, and soone of the things that this made
(01:06):
me think about was how thisworks in therapy.
Welcome to Mental Health Potluck, where everyone brings
something to the table.
I'm Danny Clark, a licensedclinical social worker, family
therapist and recoveringoverthinker.
This podcast serves upbite-sized mental health
(01:27):
insights, practical wellnesstips and conversations that
nourish the mind and soul, andtoday I'm talking about cheat
codes, not the kind that youenter with the game, the kind
that help you navigate parenting, adulting, burnout, leadership
and all those existential sidequests that just come up on a
(01:49):
daily basis.
So here are 15 cheat codes,with one bonus one.
That's basically a shamelessplug to go to therapy, but these
are ones that either I havegotten from other people, I've
learned in my own therapy, orI've shared with others and seen
that they've worked.
So here's the first cheat codethat I use quite often, not only
with my clients, but with mykids and with myself, and it's
(02:10):
that speaking less says a wholelot more.
The fewer words you use, themore people listen, because
silence signals confidence andself-control.
When you talk less, people leanin more.
I mean physically, they'll leanin more.
It's human psychology Silencemakes you seem more thoughtful,
and when you do speak, yourwords land harder.
The fewer the fillers, the morethe impact.
(02:39):
So here's number two Sleepsolves more than you think.
That's right.
Deep sleep repairs your brainand your body, boosting your
mood, your memory anddecision-making abilities.
Sleep isn't lazy, right, it'snot that thing where oh, I can.
Sleep is making me healthier.
There's a limit to it, yes, butit is strategic.
When you sleep deeply, yourbrain clears toxins, it restores
your energy, and one of thethings that happens the most is
(03:01):
that it really helps sharpenyour focus for the next day.
Have you ever like not gottengood sleep and then everything
you tried to do, any decisionmaking, anything you had going
on, was much more difficult thenext day?
That's because of sleep,because it's good medicine, and
how you manage your sleep isjust as important.
As a matter of fact, when I'mwith my clients, one of the
(03:21):
first few things we sort of diveinto is let's talk about how
you're sleeping, because ifyou're not getting good sleep,
then the rest of your day isalready running on three wheels.
So it's a big part of how do weget through our daily lives.
I know some people that the waythey do their sleep is like
super critical, because they'veseen the benefit of making sure
(03:42):
it's always the best sleep theycan get.
They do much better on aday-to-day basis with a lot of
things, whether it's recoveringfrom a sickness or, you know,
dealing with stress, any of thatkind of stuff.
It's pretty interesting really.
So that brings us to numberthree, which is that one tiny
habit can rewrite your story.
So if you're not getting thegood sleep, try to change your
(04:05):
habit.
You see, a consistent smallchange can rewire neural
pathways.
It creates like this, rippleeffect on your entire life, and
so small daily habits stack upinto huge life shifts.
Your brain thrives onrepetition, so that one tiny act
it teaches your mind to build anew identity.
So take sleep, for example.
(04:25):
If you are inconsistent withthe time that you go to sleep
every night, some nights youstay up way longer than you
should, some nights you don't.
If you make a tiny habit ofsaying, okay, every night I shut
everything down and go to bedat 10 o'clock, and you do that
for a little while.
There's other things you mightknow to start to change too.
So it's a huge part of ourdaily lives.
(04:46):
When we are trying to improveor change something that we're
doing, we take it into smallpieces.
I always say how do you eat anelephant?
One bite at a time.
So here's number four, sincewe're sticking with changing
behaviors and habits.
Discipline beats motivationhands down.
Motivation is fleeting, butdiscipline creates habits that
(05:11):
automate success and reducestress.
You see, motivation is like aspark it's bright but it's
short-lived.
Discipline builds the fire thatkeeps you going long after
motivation dies out.
And motivation will die out.
We're faced with stressors,we're faced with obstacles and
things that can diminish that.
But consistency with disciplineis what helps us go forward.
(05:32):
So if we're trying to getbetter sleep, we want to be
disciplined about sticking to aroutine.
If we are just motivated to doit for a few days and we start
to see the benefit and we startto slack off from it, well then
motivation won over discipline.
But you can't have disciplinewithout the confidence to do
(05:55):
what it is you say you're goingto do.
You see, because number five isconfidence is self-trust and
action.
When you can keep your promisesto yourself, it builds internal
integrity, it strengthens yoursense of control and confidence
comes from doing what you sayyou're going to do.
When you show yourself that youcan be trusted, it sort of
(06:15):
rewrites your brain to believeyou're in control and that
control helps change habits,helps improve your life and can
help get through difficult,stressful times as well, because
you trust yourself to getthrough these things.
Number six is that confidence islearned.
It's not like a gift.
You see, everyone struggleswith self-doubt.
(06:36):
But stepping into discomfortbuilds authentic confidence.
Nobody's born confident.
It's built by pushing past thediscomfort again and again until
it feels natural.
So while you might feel like,oh well, if I was only confident
, I could change these habits,well, you have to lean into this
discomfort in order to buildthe confidence, in order to get
(06:57):
through the habits.
So they all connect in a lot ofdifferent ways.
We're not just given confidence, and the way we're raised can
help foster confidence, but it'sstill something that we have to
learn and we can change at anytime.
(07:20):
This brings us to number seventhat no one is watching as much
as you think they are.
We live in a life of chaos andmistakes and error and suffering
.
There's a thing called thespotlight effect, which is
basically this belief thatothers notice your flaws, but in
reality, everybody's busynoticing their own flaws and
being worried about that.
(07:41):
Other people see their flawsthan they are worried about what
flaws of yours they see.
It's really sort of this way ofbuilding self-criticism.
Self-criticism can diminish ourconfidence.
It can diminish our ability tostay focused.
It can also diminish thatmotivation that helps us create
the discipline, to create thehabit to make our lives better
so we can get a full night'ssleep.
(08:07):
Which brings us to number eight.
You see, when we have thesetimes where we're losing
confidence or we make a mistake,we can cling to it for a long
time.
So number eight is let it go.
Most things don't really matter.
Your brain magnifies minorissues due to negative bias, but
letting go rewrites it forresilience.
Your brain loves to overreact,but letting go of small stuff
(08:29):
teaches it to focus on whatreally matters.
That's resilience and training.
And the one thing you don'thear a lot of people talk about
with resilience isself-resilience is basically a
do-over.
It's a get out of jail free,cardjail-free card.
It's a way of saying okay, madea mistake, let's move forward.
If we overreact, if we stayfocused on the negative side,
(08:50):
and that this one misstep isgoing to change the course of
whatever it is we're trying todo, going forward in such a way
that it's far beyond the realityof things, well then that's not
resilience.
That's falling victim to ourown problems.
So letting go is the biggestgift you can give yourself.
Which brings us to number nine.
(09:14):
Showing up, especially on toughdays, is really critical for
resilience.
You see, taking action despitediscomfort rewires your brain to
associate effort withresilience and growth.
Success isn't about feelingready, it's about showing up
regardless.
That's how your brain learnsresilience.
So, knowing that it's going tobe tough or that you're going to
have some challenges, but stillmoving ahead.
(09:35):
That's where resilience comesfrom.
Just like we talked aboutdiscipline and confidence, same
with showing up and resilience.
It all ties together.
It's just different ways ofwrapping it up in different
kinds of pretty bows.
Here's number 10.
Learning to say no guilt-free Iwill often say no is a complete
sentence and a perfectlyreasonable answer.
(09:56):
Saying no advocates andactivates healthy assertiveness,
reducing stress and reinforcingyour boundaries.
When you don't want to partakein something.
Saying no doesn't make you avillain.
It makes you someone whorespects your own time and
energy.
So learning to say no and notfeel guilty about it is a big
part of growing inself-confidence.
(10:17):
Brings us to number 11.
How you let people treat yousets the tone.
You see your boundaries teachothers your value, reinforcing
self-respect and resilience.
You see people learn how totreat you by what you tolerate.
When you enforce healthyboundaries, it tells the world
you value yourself and they'llrespect you for it more.
Which leads us to number 12.
(10:41):
Don't waste your energy onarguments.
People argue to assert control,but letting go preserves your
mental resources and peace.
So when you set thoseboundaries, you can sometimes
introduce arguments, mostarguments are ego traps.
Letting go isn't giving up,it's conserving your emotional
energy for things that mattermost.
So pick your arguments, pickyour times when it's important
(11:02):
to advocate for yourself.
But just arguing for the sakeof arguing, that's simply an ego
trip.
And circling back to number one, saying less means a lot more.
Just like they say, better toremain silent and be thought a
fool than to speak and removeall doubt.
So now we've reached number 13,which I think is a pretty
important one.
Calm is a hidden superpower, yousee.
(11:23):
A calm mind activates theparasympathetic nervous system,
helping you think clearer andact smarter.
Staying calm during stressisn't passive, it's powerful.
It keeps your brain inproblem-solving mode instead of
panic mode.
The calmer your response, themore control you hold.
So emotional regulation rewiresyour prefrontal cortex,
strengthening your ability tostay composed, which is why in
(11:44):
therapy, we work on emotionalregulation.
So reacting calmly shows you'rethe one in control and it keeps
the power in your hand,especially in an argument.
Number 14 is listen more thanyou speak.
Now, that's not the same asspeaking less.
(12:07):
You see, active listeningfosters trust and connection and
it's creating psychologicalsafety in relationships.
Okay, if people feel like theycan talk to you, it's because
they feel like you're listening.
And when they feel like you'relistening, then they feel valued
.
And that's because listening ismagnetic.
It makes others feel that valueand opens doors to connection,
(12:28):
trust and unexpectedopportunities.
And when we're talking aboutactive listening, it's not a
matter of just sitting theredeadpan face listening to
somebody.
It's actively listening,reacting to what they're saying,
looking at them and keeping eyecontact and making sure that
they know you are engaged andlistening fully.
Now, that can be hard ifsomebody is a little wordy or if
(12:51):
somebody has personality ofdroning on about things.
But if you can stay focused,the better it is for your
relationship with that person.
So number 15 is probablycritical for everybody to think
about, especially in the worldwhere we get so distracted.
(13:11):
Time is your most valuablecurrency.
There is nothing more expensivethan your time.
So invest it wisely, becauseyou can't earn back time once
it's spent and your choicesshape your life.
Time isn't just money, it'smore valuable.
Spend it like the rare resourceit is because it's the one
thing you cannot get back in anyway, shape or form.
(13:33):
And so when we are findingreasons to procrastinate or
we're looking for things that wewant to do instead of what we
need to be doing, or thediscipline to stick with
something becomes wavering.
We have to remember that thetime we're taking away from what
it ever is our goal is is time.
We don't get back, and nothingtells you more that the value of
(13:54):
your time is important thanwhen you lose the time or you
lose the people that you had theopportunity to have time with,
or you lost the people that youhad the opportunity to have time
with, or you lost theopportunity to do something you
wanted to do because you spentit doing something else.
So that's probably one of themost important.
And the last one is that youwant to heal your wounds or hurt
(14:16):
others.
If you don't heal your ownwounds, if you don't work on
your own stuff, then whathappens is you hurt those around
you.
Unresolved pain leaks intorelationships through projection
, resentment and defensiveness.
Hurt people, hurt people.
It's science we know.
A lot of the research indicatesthis.
That's why we see generationaltrauma.
We see these patterns ofbehaviors where one generation
(14:39):
has the same essential mentalhealth issues than another.
While some of it is hereditary,a lot of it is behavioral,
because we're in an environmentwhere unhealed people are
causing people to be unhealthy,and healing your own wounds is
the best way to stop the cycleand create healthy connections.
Which is why and it is anobvious plug going to therapy
(15:00):
can be one of the biggest cheatcodes of all times.
Therapy can be difficult, but italso is very supportive, and
it's one of those places where,if you find the right therapist,
the one that understands andcan appreciate what it is that
you're dealing with, that's agolden ticket to a better life.
It's not a matter of I have togo to therapy because there's
something terrible happening inmy life.
(15:21):
It can be I go to therapybecause I'm trying to get a
better job.
I go into therapy because Iwant to learn how to have more
confidence when I'm ininterviews, or I'm going to
therapy because I havedifficulty working with a
certain group of people.
There can be a lot of reasonswhy we go to therapy, and it
doesn't have to always be thatI'm depressed or I'm anxious or
I'm stressed.
(15:42):
It can be simply because youwant to improve in something,
whether it's weight loss,whether it's to reduce the
amount of time you procrastinate, or whether it's just to excel
in the career that you'reworking with.
That's what therapy can do foryou.
There's a lot of reasons whypeople go to therapy, but
there's a lot of reasons whypeople don't, and the ones that
don't go to therapy sometimesare the ones that are actually
(16:05):
hurting those around themwithout even realizing that's
happening.
So I encourage everyone to giveit a shot.
So there you go 21 cheat codesthat won't unlock invincibility,
but they just might unlockclarity.
These aren't life hacks.
They're mindset shifts, and thebeautiful thing is that you
(16:27):
don't have to master them all.
Just try one this week, seewhat happens, and when you find
a cheat code that really worksfor you, share it with somebody.
That's what living is all aboutSharing what you learn, giving
somebody else the gift of whatit is you had to go through to
improve and better yourself.
Thanks for being here with metoday.
I'm Danny Clark, and this isMental Health Potluck, where
(16:48):
everyone brings something to thetable, and today that something
was a little pixel-poweredwisdom for the road.
See you next time, thank youyou.
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