Why New Leaders Need to Channel Their Inner Therapist

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In this episode of Mental Health Potluck, Danny Clark explores the unique challenges of stepping into a leadership role at a new company and why approaching leadership like a therapist working with a new client can set managers up for success.

Leadership isn’t just about setting goals and making decisions—it’s about understanding people, navigating workplace dynamics, and earning trust. Danny introduces the concept of role strain, explaining why new leaders often feel caught between expectations and their own uncertainty. Drawing from his experience as a therapist and social worker, he compares the early days of leadership to the first sessions with a new therapy client—where listening, observation, and understanding come before offering solutions.

The episode highlights why trust-building is crucial, how unspoken workplace dynamics shape leadership success, and why leaders should resist the urge to prove themselves immediately. Danny provides a challenge for new leaders: spend the next week observing, listening, and understanding the environment before jumping into action.

Whether you're a first-time manager or a seasoned leader transitioning to a new organization, this episode will help you approach leadership with curiosity, patience, and confidence—and remind you that discomfort in a new role doesn’t mean you don’t belong. It just means you’re still becoming.

Key Topics Covered

• The Leadership-Therapy Connection – Why starting a new leadership role is like working with a new therapy client, and how understanding workplace culture before making changes builds trust.
• Role Strain and the Identity Shift of Leadership – How new leaders experience internal tension between expectations and confidence, and why this adjustment period is normal.
• Building Trust Before Making Changes – The importance of observing workplace power dynamics, listening to employees, and understanding the company’s history before implementing new ideas.

Important Definitions & Concepts

• Role Strain – The psychological tension that arises when the expectations placed on someone in a new role don’t fully match their comfort level, confidence, or familiarity with the system.
• Person-in-Environment Perspective – A social work framework that emphasizes understanding individuals (or teams) within the larger context of their environment, including relationships, power structures, and cultural norms.

Discussion & Reflection Questions

1. How does role strain show up in leadership transitions, and what strategies can help leaders manage it effectively?

About Danny Clark
Danny Clark is a licensed clinical social worker and family therapist based in Houston, Texas. As the founder of Texas Insight Center, he specializes in helping individuals, couples, and families navigate mental health challenges with practical, evidence-based approaches.

💡 Is therapy right for you? Let’s talk. If you’re struggling with stress or emotional regulation or just want to explore healthier coping strategies, reach out for a consultation. Visit www.texasinsightcenter.com to learn more and schedule a session.

📩 Have a question or topic suggestion? Send it to [e-mail]

You can also follow me on Instagram @texasinsightcenter or visit my webpage at texasinsightcenter.com

Join the conversation! Share your key takeaways using #MentalHealthPotluck or tag me on socia

Episode Transcript

Danny (00:00):
So here's a thought what if I told you that starting a
leadership position at a newcompany means you have to
practice like a therapist?
You see, being a new manager ata company is a lot like being a
therapist meeting a new client.
Think about it A therapistdoesn't walk into the first
session, sit down andimmediately say all right, I see
what's wrong here, here's whatyou needed to fix.
All that, that would beridiculous and it'd be rather

(00:22):
unethical.
Instead, they listen, theyobserve, they try to understand
the person's history, theirstruggles and their strengths,
because you can't help someoneif you don't understand their
world.
Now take that same idea andapply it to leadership.
If you walk into a new companyand immediately start changing
things before understanding theculture, before learning who
actually holds power, beforefiguring out what's worked and

(00:45):
what hasn't, you're going to getresistance.
And I'm not talking aboutpolite resistance, I'm talking
about full-on,passive-aggressive oh, we've
always done it this way hereresistance.
The best leaders, just like thebest therapists, know that
before you lead, you have tolisten, and before you fix, you
have to understand, and that iswhat we're talking about today.
Fix you have to understand, andthat is what we're talking

(01:07):
about today.
I'm Danny Clark, licensedclinical social worker and
family therapist, and thispodcast is all about serving up
bite-sized mental healthinsights, practical wellness
tips and real conversations thatnourish the mind and soul.
And today we're diving into howtaking a therapist approach can
make you a better leader fromday one.
So the first time I meet with anew therapy client, I don't

(01:31):
just start giving advice.
If I do, they're either goingto ignore me, get defensive or
nod along politely, whileinternally deciding never to
come back.
Instead, I listen, I askquestions, I try to get a sense
of their world, how they seethings, what they value, what's
important to them.
Stepping into a new company as aleader works the same exact way

(01:53):
.
You see, you're entering anenvironment that already exists
without you, this team you'restarting with.
They've got their own way ofdoing things, whether it's good,
bad or somewhere in between.
They already have a rhythm, aculture and unspoken rules about
how things work.
And you, you're the newvariable.
But let's be honest, it can feelreally weird, because now
you're in this strange middleground where you're a leader but

(02:15):
also totally new.
On one hand, people expect youto have authority to lead, make
decisions and set the tone.
On the other hand, you barelyknow where the bathroom is yet.
So now you're carrying two bigpressures at the same time.
The first one is that you'retrying to figure out the company
.
The second one is you're tryingto figure out your leadership
identity, because leading isn'tjust about managing tasks, it's

(02:37):
about stepping into the role ina way that actually feels like
you.
That tension that's called rolestrain, and it happens when the
expectations placed on youdon't fully match your
confidence, your comfort levelor even your understanding of
the situation altogether.
And let me tell you, if youdon't recognize that you're in
role strain, it's easy to startquestioning if you are leading

(02:58):
the right way or even deserve tobe there in the first place.
But here's the truth.
It's completely normal.
It's the leadership equivalentof breaking in a new pair of
shoes.
It's going to feel stiff andawkward, but it starts to feel
natural after a while.
So if you're feeling thattension, you're not failing,
you're adjusting.

(03:23):
Now here's where things get tobe a little bit tricky.
Some people are excited aboutnew leadership.
Maybe they've been waiting forsomeone who will actually listen
and make things better.
Other people they've seenleaders come and go.
They're skeptical.
They might even assume thatyou're here to shake things up
in a way that doesn't benefitthem.
And then there's the group thatjust doesn't know what to make

(03:44):
of you yet, and they're waitingto see if you're going to be one
of those corporate overlordswho comes in with a PowerPoint
full of efficiency improvementsand no real understanding of
what actually happens in the dayto day.
If you don't take the time tounderstand the existing culture
before you start making changes,you're setting yourself up for
resistance, and not just politeresistance.

(04:04):
This is that full-on, passive,aggressive oh, we've always done
it this way resistance, whichis why the smartest thing you
can do in your first few weeksis to treat it like a therapist
intake session Not fixing, notproving yourself, just learning

(04:27):
yourself, just learning.
So let's take this a stepfurther.
When I meet a new client, Idon't just listen to what's
being said out loud.
I pay attention to the power,dynamics, background experiences
and unspoken struggles thatmight be shaping the client's
world.
And, as a new leader, if you'renot paying attention to who has
power, who's overlooked and howdifferent people experience the
workplace differently, you'remissing a huge part of the
picture.
Not everyone experiences thesame company the same way.

(04:50):
For example, we know that womenexperience the workplace
differently from men.
We know that some people who'veworked in the same company for
10 years that they're going tohave a completely different
relationship to the company thansomeone who has just started
last year.
And if you walk in assumingthat everyone has the same
experience, that the way you seethings is the way that they see
things, you're going to miss alot.

(05:11):
So, as you're getting to knowthe company, be curious about
the differences in experiences.
Who speaks up in meetings, whostays quiet, who seems like
they're carrying more weightthan they should be and, most
importantly, what's not beingsaid out loud, because sometimes
the real problems aren't in thepolicies, they're in the
unspoken culture.

(05:38):
So one of the biggest parts ofall this is that in therapy, the
therapist's biggest role is tocreate trust, or build trust
with the client.
In leadership, you really can'tlead people who don't trust you
, and trust isn't automatic.
It's built through consistent,small interactions over time.
Therapists know this.
If a client doesn't trust them,they're not going to open up,

(06:00):
they're not going to do the workand they're definitely not
going to listen to feedback.
Same thing with leadership Ifyour team doesn't trust you.
They're not going to come toyou with problems, they're not
going to buy into your visionand they're not going to put in
the effort beyond what'srequired.
So how do you build trust whenyou're brand new?
Honestly, you show people thatyou see them.

(06:21):
You see, when people feel heard, understood and respected, they
start to trust.
That's why those first fewweeks they're not about proving
yourself, they're about showingup for your team.
And, yeah, that means beingokay with not having all the
answers right away.
It means saying things like Iwant to understand more before I
make any big decisions.
It means asking what do youneed for me to do your best work

(06:43):
?
And actually listening to theanswer.
When people see that you'retaking the time to understand
their environment before tryingto change it, they'll be more
open to following your lead whenthat time comes.
So here's something to thinkabout.
Leadership isn't just aboutsetting goals, making decisions

(07:06):
or running meetings.
It's about understanding people, understanding their
motivations, their struggles,their strengths and how they
navigate the world around them,much like therapists do.
And when you're stepping into anew company, you're not just
stepping into a job, you'restepping into an existing system
, an environment that has itsown history, its own culture and
its own way of doing things.

(07:27):
If you rush in trying to changeeverything before understanding
what you're working with,you're going to hit some walls.
But if you take the time tolisten first, to observe, to
actually understand the peopleyou're leading, that's where the
real leadership begins.
So here's the challenge For thenext week don't focus on
proving yourself.
Focus on understanding yourenvironment better.

(07:47):
Pay attention to how peopleinteract, who holds influence
and where the unspoken rulesexist.
Ask questions.
Let people share theirperspectives before you impose
your own.
And if you're feeling that role, strain the tension between
being the leader and being thenew person.
Remind yourself it's temporary.
The discomfort doesn't mean youdon't belong.
It means you're still becomingthe leader you really want to be

(08:10):
.
I hope this was helpful for you.
If this episode got youthinking, if it gave you even
one moment where you were likeoh hey, that makes sense.
Do me a favor and share it withsomebody.
Send it to a colleague, amentor, someone else stepping
into a new role, becauseleadership can be isolating, but
it doesn't have to be.
We grow better when we sharewhat we're learning.
And if you want to keep theconversation going, reach out.

(08:36):
Let me know what resonated withyou, what challenged you or
even what you'd like to add tothe discussion.
Well, I appreciate you beinghere today and listening to
Mental Health Potluck.
I'm Danny Clark, and until nexttime, lead with curiosity,
listen before you act and trustthat you're growing into exactly
the kind of leader you're meantto be.