May 5, 2025 • 45 mins
Lori Kirstein opens up about overcoming decades of depression and anxiety through emotional energetics and spirituality after losing her mother to cancer at age 21. She shares how shifting from following rules to honoring her authentic emotions transformed her mental wellbeing and empowered her to help others.
• Lost her mother to cancer after 11 years of illness, leading to decades of clinical depression
• Discovered spiritual awakening through books and meeting the Indian spiritual teacher Amachi
• Felt temporary relief from spiritual experiences but continued to battle deep depression
• Created the Goodbye Good Girl Project to help women break free from disempowering patterns
• Experienced a breakthrough using Abraham Hicks-inspired "rampages" of appreciation and self-love
• Lifted her depression in just five days through focused emotional journaling techniques
• Maintains her mental wellbeing by putting emotions first and recognizing her worth
• Believes in creating "breakdown to breakthrough" moments in personal healing
• Now coaches other women on leadership and emotional energetics
• Offers free 30-minute strategy calls to help women step into their ease and strength
Connect with Lori through her website and take advantage of her free 30-minute strategy call. The links are in the show notes.
https://tidycal.com/goodbyegoodgirlproject/strategysession
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey Warriors, it's Amy.
With Advancing with Amy, mentalhealth warrior, neuro-spicy
mama, Today I sit down with LoriKirstein, who gets honest about
battling decades of depressionand anxiety after losing her mom
and how diving into emotionalenergetics and spirituality
helped her reclaim her joy andsense of self.
(00:21):
Lori shares her journey fromfollowing the good girl script
to breaking free, learning tolisten to her emotions and
finding hope in unexpectedplaces.
From spiritual books to healingrampages inspired by Abraham
Hicks.
She's real about the ups anddowns, what worked and what
(00:42):
didn't, and how she now empowersother women to stand in their
worth.
If you've ever felt stuck orquestioned your own path to
healing, this episode is for you.
Get ready for some honeststories, heartfelt advice and a
dose of inspiration to help youon your own journey.
Let's dive in.
All right, here we are onAdvancing with Amy, Mental
(01:05):
Health Warrior and NeuroSpicyMama, and today we're talking to
Lori Kirstein and she's goingto talk with us about some
emotional energetics and howit's really changed her life.
So, Lori, can you tell me alittle bit about what life was
like before emotional energetics?
Speaker 2 (01:25):
O-M-G Life was like OMG, it really was tough.
I mean, from the time when Iwas 11, my mother got sick with
cancer and that set theemotional you know the emotional
theater play for our liveswhich was like panic and fear
and worry and things like that.
And then she passed when I was21.
(01:47):
And I went into incrediblyincredible depression, just
decades of clinical depressionand clinical anxiety.
And I went when I was a littlegirl, girl.
I was like just so full of joyand full of knowing my mastery
(02:09):
of my world.
Meaning, when you're a littlekid, if you're not being, you
know, in a bad situation, ifyou're a little kid, you grow up
reasonably comfortable,reasonably protected.
You might remember feeling likeeverything's good,
everything's's going to be great.
You know like I'm going tobuild this incredible life and
it's going to.
I'm going to be amazing.
And and then when she died,when she got sick and then died
(02:32):
cause it was the sickness, itwas 11 years of illness you know
of.
Is it today?
Is it today?
Is it today?
You know, like, for 11 yearsit's no fun.
Then I just became reallyobsessed with worry.
And then I just became reallyobsessed with worry and I felt
like there was no support fromthe world, like the universe,
and if there was a God, then Godmust be against me.
(02:54):
It was that kind of thing whereI felt like I had to try to
control everything about my lifebecause there was no, nothing
there to support me.
There was no ground under myfeet.
It was.
It was ridiculous.
I mean I, you know, we women,we I mean this is true for men
as well, but especially for wewomen we tend to move into this
(03:17):
life thinking I need to followthe rules, I need to do what I'm
told to do, and then I'll behappy, right, right.
So it's like that idea of likeI'll be happy while I'm doing it
because I'm going to have funand I'm going to create
something I love.
It's going to come from me, myauthentic.
That's off the table for a longtime.
So what changed?
(03:41):
What changed was I have been ona spiritual path for a very,
(04:09):
very long time.
When I was about 30 or 29, Iread a book by Shirley MacLaine
like to be kind to people, tomake the world better, to make
my world better.
You mean that's spirituality,that's what that's called.
Really.
I had no idea and it really didlight me up.
It turned on a switch and forabout four days I walked through
my regular life, going to workand doing all this.
I was in such joy, 100% joy.
(04:31):
For four days I would walk pastpeople and look at them and
they would smile, they'd lightup too.
It was just like amazing, yeah.
And so from that moment on Iwas going okay, so I have to
look into this spiritualitystuff.
And then I met the great huggingsaint, amici, in 1988.
Now Amici, she was a young girl.
(04:53):
Her Indian name was Sudamaniand she lived in a little
fishing village called Kerala inIndia.
And she knew from the momentshe was born.
She knew, coming in, who shewas.
She knew that she was one withthe divine.
She didn't have to go on thatjourney we all have to go on.
She knew, like at six months old, she was walking like a normal
(05:16):
person like you and me.
She wasn't toddling, she waswalking.
She started like when she was Idon't think.
I think it was like a year oldshe started singing songs to the
divine.
I mean, she's just.
She is proof that we are reallyone with that universe, that God
, that spirit whatever you wantto, however you frame it met her
(05:40):
when I was about 31, 32,something like that.
I was blown away because Icould feel it.
I could feel how one with her Iwas, but that didn't mean I
could be her Right, right, right.
So like she was there for 10days.
(06:00):
This was in Boston and she wasthere for 10 days and I just
quit my temp job and just satwith her for the entire morning
program and the entire eveningprogram.
I wanted to be nowhere else andI felt all the pores in my skin
just open up and like they werestreaming light.
It was that extreme, it wasthat complete and that blissful
(06:24):
to be with her and 10 days later, when she left.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I crashed.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I crashed because I was back with my normal mode of
feeling and my normal mode ofthinking, and it was crap
thinking.
It was like I was hard onmyself.
I didn't think much of myself.
There was really nobody home,honestly.
And so over the years I wentand I searched and I asked
(06:53):
questions, and that's where mycompany, the Goodbye Good Girl
Project, actually comes from.
It's all of these questionsthat I asked because I didn't
want to have a belief.
I wanted to have thatexperience.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
And I wanted it to come from me.
So did you always feel like youhad?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
been a good girl and that was what was keeping you
back.
No, I actually I did know thata lot of us, most of us in this
culture, are pretending.
Right, we're all just sort ofpretending so we can get by
right.
It has nothing to do withanything but our training, right
.
And yet we tend to blameourselves for that right.
(07:37):
We go oh my gosh, there must besomething wrong with me or I
must be stupid, or whatever it'scouched, we all we're like, oh
me, it's me, it's me.
And the thing about truth, realhigh vibrational, emotional,
spiritual truth, is that it'slike a coin and we're just
looking at the wrong side.
(07:58):
Oh, wow, yeah, it is me, it isyou.
But it's not what's wrong withyou, it's let's look at all
that's right with us, right,what's all what is strong about
us, what is amazing, and andthat runs against all of our
training.
So it's not really that we haveto go and fix us.
(08:21):
I don't know about you, but I'vespent so much money going to
workshops and right like, justhelp me, fix me, fix me, and,
you know, even going to seeAmachi, who we call mother,
because ama in the othercountries means mother and
Amachi, the chi part, is thehonorific, which means beloved
or dear, or honored.
(08:43):
So a lot of people get reallyaddicted to the guru.
Oh, I bet Right, because theywant that hit.
They want that hit of like I'min bliss, but I was very
fortunate.
In a very bizarre way mydepression wouldn't let me alone
.
So after I'd met her, thatfirst year and was totally, yeah
(09:04):
, everything is fab.
And then the second year it wasa little less things are fab.
And by the third year I waslike full on depression, even
sitting with her.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Did she have to say about that, or did she?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
She doesn't, she didn't, she talks about that we,
we must meditate, and I hadquestions about that as well.
Like what?
Like, I suck at that.
So what does that mean?
Like, what's?
What am I doing it for?
Is it supposed to bring me joy?
Because all it does is make melook at all the things that I'm
(09:41):
already thinking and that I'mmiserable about.
So, like, how does that help?
She says that we really are onewith all that.
And she says all kinds ofremarkable things.
Like she says mother has nospecial place to dwell, she
dwells in your heart.
Oh, wow, mother is always withyou.
(10:02):
That's beautiful and it's a itis, it's a beautiful concept.
But I wanted it real.
And I went to her at one pointand I said how do I keep you
with me?
Because I knew I wasn't movingto India, because I knew that
when I'd asked, when you go toIndia, to her ashram, where do
(10:22):
you sleep?
How does that work?
Oh, you're in a dormitory,basically with tons of people.
I'm like, no, I'm not going.
No, I snore, I'm not going.
And also the heat.
I'm really bad with heat.
So I knew I wasn't going tolive there.
And what she said to me when Iasked her that question, she
said she said, don't worry,mother is always with you.
(10:45):
And I said yes, but I don'tknow how to feel that she said
just imagine I'm right therenext to you.
Did that help?
No, not at the time.
Not at the time.
See, the thing is that myjourney has been one of asking a
(11:06):
lot of questions abouteverything.
That seems like it should worklike that, because, you know, we
live in a culture that says yousit, take pill, right, right,
are you unhappy?
Fix it Like.
There's just like this instantsort of situation thing that
we've been told it.
There's just like this instantsort of situation thing that
(11:27):
we've been told.
And, in fact, what's missing?
What's been missing and whatwas missing for me for a long
time was actually the feminine,and the feminine is something
interesting because we don'tusually define it and we women
have abandoned it because we'vebeen told we must.
The toxic masculine has beenput forward as our gold standard
(11:50):
, and what I mean by the toxicmasculine is you're not good
where you are, have a goal andmaybe someday you'll be happy
and work your butt off right.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
If you work hard enough, you'll get what you
deserve.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Yeah now how many of us know that that is not true oh
, it's in my hand, yeah yeah,yeah, oh my god.
And women, we don't have toonly work twice as hard as men,
we have to work five times ashard as men.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
And apologize for it at the same time.
And apologize for it at thesame time, and.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
And apologize for it at the same time and ask
permission.
And then we also do that toourselves, because what we've
done is what any good victimdoes, because that's a victim
system Okay, that's just avictim system.
And so what we do is we learnto should on ourselves.
Oh, yeah, right, really hard.
(12:45):
And so there are all of thesethings that we do that when we
stop doing them, we suddenlyfeel odd because it's like wait,
I'm just allowing myself to beme.
How is that possible?
So little things like and youraudience will be able to see
this, but they can imagine whenyou're talking to somebody who
(13:05):
is a man in power, a man who'slike the VP or the CEO or
something, the normal thingwe'll do is sort of like hitch a
shoulder and like tilt our headand say you know, yeah, nice to
meet you, and we go into totalphysical disempowerment mode.
We will also I just wasthinking about this today If you
(13:26):
stand with your feet togetherand you're talking to somebody
and your feet are right, justright next to each other, feel
your feet touching each other,you're easy to push over
physically.
You're easy to push over If youseparate your feet to your
shoulder width and stand likethat in your power, two things
are going to happen.
You're going to feel stable.
(13:47):
You're going to feel like, ohmy God, I'm taking up space.
Actually, three things aregoing to happen.
The person across from you mayget a little uncomfortable if
they're used to you standingwith your feet together because
you cannot be easily pushed over.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Right, so you've changed the dynamics.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Absolutely, absolutely, and realize about
that it doesn't mean that youhave to say something special or
do something special other thanjust separating your feet and
standing upright, not lettingyour shoulders sort of fold in,
but like letting yourself standup.
You know, titties up like lessthan like everybody.
(14:30):
Just be who you are, I'll standup.
You know.
You are a human adult woman, mm, hmm, you exist, you are worth.
You don't just have worth.
You are worth.
You don't just have worth.
You are worth.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
So are these things you learned when you were
questioning, or is thissomething that you came into
later?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
This is definitely from questioning, and I'll tell
you what brought me out of thedepression.
But the coming out of all ofthe beliefs that keep us all
down was because I relentlesslyquestioned.
And you know, if you're a goodgirl, you don't ask questions
other than the ones that willhelp you behave better.
(15:17):
Better quote unquote Right,yeah, I mean, how often have you
sat in like a meeting andeverybody's talking and what's
going on in your head is I havesomething to say, but I don't
know if I should.
I don't know this is reallyimportant, but Should I?
What should I do?
Like there's this whole likesymphony of garbage going on in
(15:40):
your own head.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Well, and part of that is because women are hard
on each other.
I actually started a new job inOctober last year and the first
meeting I went to I spoke upand talked and I found out later
one of the other managers saidwhy is she talking?
Is that a man or a woman?
Was it a woman, a woman?
And I thought why do we do thatto each other?
Speaker 2 (16:03):
I have an answer.
I don't know if you'd want ananswer to that.
Yeah, it's only mine, but yeah,I think it's because we have
bought into the masculine, thetoxic masculine system.
You was probably I mean, in away it wasn't about you in a big
way it probably kicked yourbutt because it activated all
(16:24):
those I shouldn't, I shouldn't,you know, messaging I was quiet
at the next few meetings and II'm still sort of feeling my way
.
You know, with this kind ofgrowth it's never ending, and
that's actually the fun.
Once you can get to how to dothat, it's actually fun because
you're in a constant state of adiscovery about all the stuff,
(16:46):
little by little, that you'regoing oh, that's garbage, I
don't have to do that anymore.
Oh, oh, and look what I'm doingnow.
And that's really me.
Ooh, I like that me.
Ooh, she's cool, I like her, Ilove doing that.
You start to have so much funbeing you, yeah that's great.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
It's good for anything.
Did you ever talking about yourdepression?
Did you ever try conventionalmethods to get rid of the
depression?
Yeah, oh, I'm still onantidepressants, by the way
because, if the worst forgettingthey.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I'm on.
Uh, what's it called?
Effects are I'm I'm on the.
I do that as well, yeah, andit's the worst of all of them,
it wraps itself around yourbrainstem.
Yeah, yeah, it's like gettingoff of that Horrible withdrawal
to get off.
Sorry, horrible withdrawal toget off that For me, I can't.
(17:42):
Well, I have a story about thattoo, but I can't.
Well, I have a story about thattoo, but I can't.
I had to go back on it.
I got off it once.
Wild, crazy story.
There was a shaman I met who I'mnot kidding, I'm not making
this up, this is like crazy,utterly cuckoo.
But this guy lives in, I think,alabama and he went.
(18:11):
He was a an army guy, I think,and he was over in iceland and
he ran into some group.
He went to some group wherethey were doing all of this
shamanistic healing and he wasabsolutely enraptured by it.
And after he got out of themilitary he went back and he
studied to become a shaman andso he is a major like he can.
He doesn'taman, and so he is amajor like he can.
He doesn't every single time,but he's a major energy healer.
(18:33):
Somebody told me about him.
I called him and he talked tome and he said what's up?
And I said here's what's goingon and I really I don't want to
be on these meds anymore.
He went okay, hold on a second,and I'm telling you.
Within a few minutes he said tome okay, you're good,
congratulations, you're off ofthem.
And I went, yeah, sure, right,cause you know what it's like to
miss a dose.
Oh, yeah, you feel it, yourhead goes squirrely, you're like
(18:57):
it's not pretty.
And so I thought, yeah, that'sfunny.
But I said to him oh, thank youso much, I really appreciate it
.
And I said, well, I said tomyself you know, I usually take
this at night, but I'll skip ittonight and I'll see how I feel
tomorrow and I'll bring it towork with me.
I went to work, I was fine.
(19:18):
I was fine all day.
I was fine all night.
I know it's like what, what?
I was fine all night.
I know it's like what, what ishappening that night?
(19:44):
I'm like do I?
And I went to work the next dayI still had all of it in my
purse.
You know I'm like anytime Ineed one, I'm popping a pill
Nothing.
For four months I didn't needany of it Any of it, I know it
blew my freaking mind.
Then what started to happen wasI was in a terrible job.
I was trying a different careerpath wrong career path for Lori
(20:08):
.
Oh, it was torture and I'mreally actually I'm being.
I mean, I don't mean that theywere torturing me, but it was
torture for me to do, to try todo this and and I just persevere
too much.
So I was like I'm going to makeit work.
And the more that it stressedme, the more whatever it was he
had done started to not work aswell and I started to have a
(20:31):
little bit of the withdrawalsymptoms.
And then and then I had mythird nervous breakdown of my
life.
Yep, and this is, this wasactually one of those things
where you go this is the worstand yet it gave me the best.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Really, what was the best that came out of it?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
What happened was are you aware of somebody named
Abraham Hicks?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Yes, I've listened to some of his material.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah, and for those listening who don't know, I mean
it's a channeled collection ofbeings and it's this lovely
woman named Esther Hicks, right,who channels them and their
entire message.
And they've been doing this for30 some years.
Like this has been going on forfreaking ever, like a massive
(21:26):
band, like I've got to listen toeverything, but they're all on
YouTube, it's free.
It's like I could do this.
So, as I was sinking, as I wasjust going into incredibly deep
depression, having I had twoweeks straight of God, what is
that thing called?
Oh God, what is it where you'rejust totally freaked out, your
can kid that can't call yes, yes, yes.
(21:48):
It was literally a 24-7, twoweeks without rape panic attack.
How horrible, oh my God.
I think I might be my favoritebadass currently, because I
actually went and filmed acommercial.
One of the things I've done isacting and I actually filmed a
commercial while having a fullthings I've done is acting and I
actually filmed a commercialwhile having a full-on panic
attack.
That's incredible.
(22:10):
I could not believe I was doingit, but I was like I'm kind of
I'm a Capricorn and I'm kind ofit's well, it's just go.
Yeah, I'll make it work, buthere I was having this
incredibly hard time and I wasoff the medication and I'd been
(22:31):
off it for four, four and a halfmonths, you know.
So I was just, I was going downand a friend of mine.
I called her and said you'vegot to take me to the hospital.
And I went to the hospital andthey said, okay, well, I said I
don't want to go back on effectsor I don't want to go back.
So they gave me another drug,but it really didn't work.
Though I'm still miserable,there's like no relief, none.
(22:55):
So I ended up going back twoweeks later to the ER and they
go what do you want to do?
I go, put me back on theeffects, or I at least know it
works, and I'd rather be alive.
Right, I give up.
Yeah, I, yeah, uncle.
Yeah, so I took it, I took it,and, but I still had like two
weeks to wait until it kicked in.
Do you know what I mean?
(23:15):
Takes a little while.
Two to four weeks, yeah, two tofour weeks, I know.
And I was like, oh, dear God.
And what they said to me beforeI left was you know, you can
always come back, but all wecould do is lock you up.
There's nothing more we can dofor you.
I'm like that's not the mission.
Yeah, yeah, I don't want that.
(23:37):
No, oh, so, but there I amsitting there in July, middle of
the night, and I'm I mean, I'dbeen in bed for weeks Like I was
doing the last bits of the ofthe job they were letting me
work from home because I was aserious mess and middle of the
night I can feel myself.
(23:58):
I'm going down for the thirdtime and I can't go back to the
ER, I mean, unless it'sabsolutely the last thing you
know, but I can come up with 16million ways of doing something
Like this is one of my strengths.
But at this moment I had nothing.
(24:18):
I was empty.
I had nothing and I said thatto Spirit.
I said I got, I got.
And I didn't say it like canyou give me I?
I got, I got.
And I didn't say it like canyou give me.
I was just like I'm out, I'mdone.
And Abraham was playing onYouTube because I had that going
, because I hoped it would bringup my energy, and what dropped
(24:39):
into my consciousness at thatmoment was why don't you try to
do one of Abraham's rampages?
Now, I don't know if you knowthe rampages, but they're not
angry.
They're rampages ofappreciation, rampages of
self-love, rampages offorgiveness.
I mean, they're beautiful andI've watched them over the years
(25:02):
.
You can find them on YouTube.
If you look up Abraham Hicksrampages, you'll find a million
of them.
Okay, okay, and try to find theones where it's somebody has
asked to hear a rampage so thatthey can have their energy
ramped up, because then you'llbe able to get the context and
the result.
Oh, you went through.
Yeah, and Abraham doesn't teachyou how to do your own rampage.
(25:26):
I mean, there's not like a stepby step that they ever teach.
But I'd noticed a few thingsabout that that it seemed to be
very small steps.
It seemed to be tiny, veryhumble shifts upward.
It seemed to be it built onitself Something maybe I could
(25:52):
do.
Yeah, like I didn't really wow,but I said, well, you know, I
got nothing else, I might aswell try it.
So I took out a journal and apen and I started writing and I
said, okay, I don't know how todo this, but I feel I'm really
in danger here and I feelhorrible.
And then I hear, every time Istart I did this all night, by
(26:13):
the way and every time I wouldstop, I'd be at a place where I
go.
I don't know what to write next.
I don't know how to elevate myemotion, my emotion.
At that second I would hear theYouTube say something amazing,
and I'd be like, and I couldkeep going and keep going with
my own thing.
What happened was I saidsomething like I feel terrible,
(26:35):
don't know how to do this, youknow, but Abraham says that if
you just have a slightly betterfeeling, thought that that's
going to help.
Okay, so what I did, that Ididn't realize was native to me
but had come to me also throughyears of therapy, was I had
(26:57):
become very, very aware of myown emotions and my own sensing.
Oh yeah, right, yep, and so Iwas focused, I was very focused
inside on how I felt, becausethat was what was killing me.
I was feeling like terriblydepressed, so I went.
But abraham says a slightlybetter feeling thought will help
.
Huh, just that, like that's abetter feeling.
(27:20):
Thought than I think I might begoing to die, right, so that's
a better feeling.
Thought than I think I might begoing to die, right, so that's
a better feeling thought.
It's not, hi, I'm living undera bridge Now.
I have a million bucks and youknow wrong.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
You know that's a lie , yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
So what I did for the next 10 minutes, starting off,
just that, I just I just keptwriting, coming up with slightly
better feeling thoughts, butalso letting myself know that
what the argument was with thebetter feeling thought.
So I have this, I'm journalingthe whole thing, okay, yes,
which, according to Abraham andnow according to me, is
(27:59):
brilliant because it keeps youvery focused when you're writing
, so, like with your head, youcan go off in 12 directions
really fast, right, but ifyou're writing, you have to keep
writing, and I'm not talkingabout typing on your computer,
I'm talking about writing with apen and paper, being focused.
Yeah, yeah, and so I okay.
(28:19):
So Abraham says that a betterfeeling thought is what's going
to help.
Well, I don't know what abetter feeling thought would be,
but just the thought that thebetter feeling thought could
help actually is a pinprick oflight in this massive darkness.
That's very interesting.
And then I hear Abraham say whenyou come up with something that
feels even a tiny, the tiniestbit better, focus on it, give it
(28:41):
room to breathe, let it grow.
So it grew a little bit.
And then I went yeah, and Istill feel like crap.
Okay, what else is true aboutthat.
Well, I'll tell you somethingthat's true about me is that I
persevere like crazy, and Ithink that's really a strength
(29:03):
of mine, and I'm very proud ofmyself that I'm just going to
keep breathing right now.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Right, not everybody can do it, not everybody does it
.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
And I felt it and I was focused on me as I said it,
so I could feel the shifts.
I could feel myself starting tolift.
Here's the part that's crazy.
This is crazier than healingfrom it to me.
After 10 minutes I realizedthat I had shifted what Abraham
calls my emotional set point.
I was no longer in danger.
(29:33):
Oh good, I was still a mess, Iwas still depressed AF, I was
not good in any stretch, but Iwasn't in danger of death.
I had some of my strength back,and so I kept doing this
exercise for another five days,and at the end of five days not
(29:56):
that I was aiming for five daysas a specific number, but it
just so happened that the fifthday I suddenly hit a point in my
writing and I went wait,something's different.
And what was different was thatblack cloud I'd carried for
almost 40 years just wasn'tthere.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
After five days.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
After five days, I know, I know Hold on.
Yeah, it is, it's, completelyit's, it's, it's.
It became for me proof of,spiritually, what I understand
but had not been, had not beenable to put into practice in my
(30:36):
regular so-called regular life.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
You understood, it intellectually, but you hadn't
experienced it.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Right, right which I think is the case with most of
us about spiritual things thatwhat we're really hungry for is
to take those beliefs and makethem practical, make them be our
truth, live them not live ourhead.
Not live them with our physicalbehaviors, but know them in our
being Right.
(31:03):
Yeah, that, yeah, yeah, andthat's really.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
That's the ground under my feet now that's how
long it's been since thathappened that was july of 2022.
Oh, wow, so it's been likethree years almost three, yeah
close yeah, that's amazing, andyou haven't felt that deep
despair again.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
I had, there were two times.
One, I started to feel thedepression come back.
I think this is like a monthafter that and I sat down with
my journal and my penimmediately and it was gone in
three minutes.
It is, it's incredible.
And then the next time that Ifelt depression was due to
medication, because I had tohave a knee replacement and they
(31:51):
put me on these horrific medsthat they put you on so you
don't feel anything for a whileand I'm apparently highly
allergic.
And in coming off of thosethere was massive situation,
massive medication, depression.
Wow, yeah, that took a few daysand then I was through that, I
was through the withdrawal ofthat and yeah, so that was that.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Well, we know, healing isn't always linear.
There's some back steps andsome forward steps, so I assume
that you weren't always 100%.
What would you say to someoneright now who feels like they're
down in despair and they don'tknow what to do?
Speaker 2 (32:35):
It would.
So I don't mean to be evasiveat all when I say this, but it
is a truth.
It really depends on thebeliefs of the person I'm
speaking with.
Okay, energy, we can shift theenergy and shift our entire
(33:04):
reality, and because our wholereality, everybody's reality, is
based on energy yeah, theuniverse's energy yeah right and
I don't have the connection tothe, to the religious thing of.
I need the approval of, andright.
I mean I had, I've had, my fairshare, just because I did as a
(33:27):
child, but no longer.
And I mean I was, I was raisedin a mostly non-religious Jewish
family and because of nothaving that sort of being
steeped and all that, you wouldthink I had no attachment, but I
I've had all.
I've had all of the oh god, godhate me, hates me, and yeah,
(33:47):
I've had all this stuff and it'sso prevalent in society, you
can't miss it.
Yeah yeah so.
But here's the thing.
Here's what I would say tosomebody who was really
depressed.
What is it that gives yourelief?
Let's not go for happiness.
Forget that.
Forget that, because if you'rereally, really down, if you're
(34:09):
really seriously depressed, youprobably don't believe in
happiness right now anyway.
But you might be able tobelieve in relief Because you
might be able to understand thatyou deserve to maybe be a
little less miserable than youare right now.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
I love that because I always you think of like I have
bipolar disorder and I think ofthe ups and the downs, but like
right now, I just feel at peaceand content and that's what I
strive for.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
I just saw a video on that, a little like reel or
something it looked like.
I didn't check out who he was,but it seemed to be some kind of
monk, and he was talking to oneof these famous podcasters.
Who said to him are you happy?
And the man said that's a verydifficult question to answer.
What do you mean by happy?
(35:03):
Right, because he said I don'tstrive to have things he says,
because if I have happiness,then I can also have, you know,
sadness or depression orwhatever it was he mentioned as
the opposite.
He said where there's up,there's down.
He he said but I strive forpeace with where I am.
(35:26):
Yeah, he said do I have badmoments?
Of course I do, right, but it'sa different relate.
This is not him, this is now me.
Now I have a very differentrelationship to my moments or
days of any kind of discomfortor misery or you know old
(35:47):
patterns that will come upbecause now I know, oh wait,
this isn't reality.
Like this is not me.
If people could understand thattheir depression, the bipolar,
the being on the yes, it is whatyou live with, yes, it is what
you're dealing with, but it'snot who you are.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Right, yes, yes, I agree.
And happiness is such afleeting thing, like I might be
happy one moment because I'mlaughing with my family and the
next moment I'm doing dishes andI just feel fine.
You know what I mean.
So and that doesn't mean I'mnot dishes and I just feel fine.
You know what I mean.
So and that doesn't mean I'mnot happy.
It just means not happy in thatmoment, like overjoyed.
(36:30):
You know what I mean, right.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Right, and you know, abraham says that you can have,
be and do anything you want,anything you want, and that
(36:54):
resonates with me on a very highlevel.
But then the question is how,how Can I get over being bipolar
, can I get over being autistic,can I get over being depressed?
And the answer is you can.
It doesn't mean you will,because there's another part to
this.
That is the part most peoplehave a really hard time with and
some will actively argue withit, and I say keep arguing with
(37:17):
it.
If it's not your truth, let itgo, don't let yourself be
miserable.
And the truth is that we, wechoose.
It's like we've chosen a storyto follow.
Yes, you know, now we candecide we don't want to do this
story anymore, but then thatrequires a great deal of
(37:39):
dedication and and and making areal decision of like okay, wait
and making that decision overand over, and, over and over
again correct I agree with thatyeah
making it over and over again.
And yet what I've experienced,with what I've been, I mean I am
so different than I, than Iused to be.
(38:00):
I'm still so much me, you know,but the old me, if you showed
her one, one hundredth of what'sgoing on in our country three
and a half years ago, I wouldhave instantly gone into deep
clinical depression and anxietyand fear and I would have been a
(38:21):
mess and I would have beencalling my friends going oh, I
need help, help, help I.
And fear.
And I would have been a messand I would have been calling my
friends going oh, I know howwell I mean in now upset, you
bet, yeah, and I know how towork with to up, level my
emotions, to bring truth in mytruth, not anybody else's truth,
but you know, it's your truthwhen you can feel it.
(38:46):
It's about feeling.
It's not what you think, it'swhat you feel, what makes you
feel strengthened, and so it'svery different for me now.
I mean I went and found someamazing political tarot readers
and psychics who are not tellingyou this is what's I mean
they're.
They're saying this could have,this is what it looks like it's
going to happen, and I love itbecause it's the vibration, it's
(39:09):
the feminine side of everything, it's the vibrational stuff.
It's great stuff, yeah.
So it gives you more of a 360degree place to stand and it
reclaims the feminine.
It reactivates not reclaimed,but reactivate the feminine.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
And we and all the things that are happening right
now as like an upheaval, andsometimes you have to have that
big upheaval to have a shift,and so it doesn't necessarily
mean it'll end out bad, but itmight be bad right now yeah,
it's.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
It's what is the cognitive dissonance?
You know the term.
This is like the biggestfreaking cognitive dissonance in
our lifetime so far.
Yeah, you know, this is like itdoesn't even be.
There's no way to make itcompute that there could be this
much deliberate insanity,cruelty, damn it, like it.
(40:10):
Just it makes your mind want toexplode.
But what you just said is whatrescued me, because I realized
wait a second, wait a second.
This is because we're having abreakdown in order to have a
breakthrough.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Yes, yes, that's what I hold on to Me too.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
And yeah, that makes sense.
Tell me a little bit about whatyou do to maintain your
positivity or maintain yourhealth, your mental health.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
Something deceptively simple.
It's not simple at first, itgets simpler, but my, my
emotions come first.
Yeah, that's it, that's it.
And if you're used to, as I was, if you're used to looking at
the negative side, trying toprotect yourself from bad by
always looking at the bad, yeahright, then that's then you.
(41:08):
You're like I don't understand.
What do you mean?
My emotion is important.
How can I possibly be happywhen I am so focused on making
sure that I'm not damaged bythese possibilities that could
happen, and I actually was doingsome journaling for myself this
morning around that, becauseit's funny, you'll still.
I'll still find, and I probablyalways will.
(41:29):
I mean, there's just alwaysmore growth, right?
But, this little bit of untrusthanging out in this corner of me
, like I've just made thisdecision, as of yesterday, to
not keep looking for full-timework.
I just finished a contractposition that was, you know,
(41:49):
short-term, like 12 weeks, andI'm beginning to, I'm beginning
my speaking career and Iwonderful right, and I've begun
my podcast about two, two and ahalf months ago and I'm like
this is what I'm here to do.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
This is what I meant.
Your podcast was great.
Yeah, you were talking aboutthe three things to do to get
out of the struggles.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Thank you.
Oh, my God, that's so excitingfor me.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
I know Sometimes we just want to be heard Always.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
I always want to.
I'm not, I'm not just be honestwith you, I just want, I mean,
and I want to hear too.
Like I love learning aboutpeople, yeah, I do.
That's why I'm doing thepodcast, like, let's, let's get
together, let me learn about youand let's also upset some apple
carts.
That are apple carts, yeah,yeah, but rotten apples right
(42:50):
and give.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
I want to give people a place where they can come and
feel safe to talk about the thelows, the highs, the
in-betweens, just a place to sayI'm human, here is what I like
and that's not so odd.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
That is the most beautiful calling on earth to me
.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
You do it beautifully .
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Oh, thank you.
Well, I've really enjoyedtalking with you today.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
I could talk with you every day, Girl me too, and I'd
like to have you on my podcast.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Oh, I'd love to do that, yeah, and did I see on
your website that you actuallydo some coaching?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
I do, I do.
I do leadership coaching forwomen, for like high level
people.
That's like the stuff that'sexpensive, the stuff that people
can afford is workshops.
So I'm putting together rightnow something called acting off,
and you are an actor, I'm anactor, and one of the things
that is so this is one of thethings that brought me out of my
(43:55):
shell even before I was out ofthe depression was acting,
because it was like you get onstage and people expect you to
be kind of nuts.
You know, like they expect youto be a little bit out there and
self-expressive.
Here's something else I do Ican help people with their talks
.
So if they have to give a talk,I will do that kind of coaching
(44:16):
as well, and we can write thespeech, get them on their feet.
Like you, I'm very good athelping women step into their
ease and their strengths.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
That's giving them this space.
Yeah, well, I saw you actuallyhad like a 30-minute free
coaching.
You'll give somebody Icertainly do.
Oh, absolutely that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Well, make sure I put your website in the links in
the show notes awesome, yeah,and if you could put that
30-minute strategy call in there, yeah, definitely Great.
Thanks for mentioning that Ican't believe I forgot.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Yeah, definitely, All right.
Well, I want to thank you againand I hope we'll get to talk
again soon.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
I can't wait, you are absolutely lovely.
Thank you so much for having meon.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Thank you so much for having me on.
Thank you.
That's it for today's episodeof Advancing with Amy, mental
health lawyer and NeuroSpicyMama.
Huge thanks to Lori Kirsteinfor getting honest about her
journey, her struggles,breakthroughs and how emotional
energetics helped her find realpeace.
I hope you found her story asinspiring as I did.
(45:23):
If you want to connect withLawyer, snag that free 30-minute
strategy call.
The links are in the show notes.
Don't miss out.
And hey, if you enjoyed thisepisode, don't forget to rate,
review and share it with afriend.
It really helps us grow andbring on more amazing guests.
Thanks for hanging out and keepadvancing, warriors.
Hey Warriors, it's Amy.
With Advancing with Amy, mentalhealth warrior, neuro-spicy
mama, Today I sit down with LoriKirstein, who gets honest about
battling decades of depressionand anxiety after losing her mom
and how diving into emotionalenergetics and spirituality
helped her reclaim her joy andsense of self.
(00:21):
Lori shares her journey fromfollowing the good girl script
to breaking free, learning tolisten to her emotions and
finding hope in unexpectedplaces.
From spiritual books to healingrampages inspired by Abraham
Hicks.
She's real about the ups anddowns, what worked and what
(00:42):
didn't, and how she now empowersother women to stand in their
worth.
If you've ever felt stuck orquestioned your own path to
healing, this episode is for you.
Get ready for some honeststories, heartfelt advice and a
dose of inspiration to help youon your own journey.
Let's dive in.
All right, here we are onAdvancing with Amy, Mental
(01:05):
Health Warrior and NeuroSpicyMama, and today we're talking to
Lori Kirstein and she's goingto talk with us about some
emotional energetics and howit's really changed her life.
So, Lori, can you tell me alittle bit about what life was
like before emotional energetics?
Speaker 2 (01:25):
O-M-G Life was like OMG, it really was tough.
I mean, from the time when Iwas 11, my mother got sick with
cancer and that set theemotional you know the emotional
theater play for our liveswhich was like panic and fear
and worry and things like that.
And then she passed when I was21.
(01:47):
And I went into incrediblyincredible depression, just
decades of clinical depressionand clinical anxiety.
And I went when I was a littlegirl, girl.
I was like just so full of joyand full of knowing my mastery
(02:09):
of my world.
Meaning, when you're a littlekid, if you're not being, you
know, in a bad situation, ifyou're a little kid, you grow up
reasonably comfortable,reasonably protected.
You might remember feeling likeeverything's good,
everything's's going to be great.
You know like I'm going tobuild this incredible life and
it's going to.
I'm going to be amazing.
And and then when she died,when she got sick and then died
(02:32):
cause it was the sickness, itwas 11 years of illness you know
of.
Is it today?
Is it today?
Is it today?
You know, like, for 11 yearsit's no fun.
Then I just became reallyobsessed with worry.
And then I just became reallyobsessed with worry and I felt
like there was no support fromthe world, like the universe,
and if there was a God, then Godmust be against me.
(02:54):
It was that kind of thing whereI felt like I had to try to
control everything about my lifebecause there was no, nothing
there to support me.
There was no ground under myfeet.
It was.
It was ridiculous.
I mean I, you know, we women,we I mean this is true for men
as well, but especially for wewomen we tend to move into this
(03:17):
life thinking I need to followthe rules, I need to do what I'm
told to do, and then I'll behappy, right, right.
So it's like that idea of likeI'll be happy while I'm doing it
because I'm going to have funand I'm going to create
something I love.
It's going to come from me, myauthentic.
That's off the table for a longtime.
So what changed?
(03:41):
What changed was I have been ona spiritual path for a very,
(04:09):
very long time.
When I was about 30 or 29, Iread a book by Shirley MacLaine
like to be kind to people, tomake the world better, to make
my world better.
You mean that's spirituality,that's what that's called.
Really.
I had no idea and it really didlight me up.
It turned on a switch and forabout four days I walked through
my regular life, going to workand doing all this.
I was in such joy, 100% joy.
(04:31):
For four days I would walk pastpeople and look at them and
they would smile, they'd lightup too.
It was just like amazing, yeah.
And so from that moment on Iwas going okay, so I have to
look into this spiritualitystuff.
And then I met the great huggingsaint, amici, in 1988.
Now Amici, she was a young girl.
(04:53):
Her Indian name was Sudamaniand she lived in a little
fishing village called Kerala inIndia.
And she knew from the momentshe was born.
She knew, coming in, who shewas.
She knew that she was one withthe divine.
She didn't have to go on thatjourney we all have to go on.
She knew, like at six months old, she was walking like a normal
(05:16):
person like you and me.
She wasn't toddling, she waswalking.
She started like when she was Idon't think.
I think it was like a year oldshe started singing songs to the
divine.
I mean, she's just.
She is proof that we are reallyone with that universe, that God
, that spirit whatever you wantto, however you frame it met her
(05:40):
when I was about 31, 32,something like that.
I was blown away because Icould feel it.
I could feel how one with her Iwas, but that didn't mean I
could be her Right, right, right.
So like she was there for 10days.
(06:00):
This was in Boston and she wasthere for 10 days and I just
quit my temp job and just satwith her for the entire morning
program and the entire eveningprogram.
I wanted to be nowhere else andI felt all the pores in my skin
just open up and like they werestreaming light.
It was that extreme, it wasthat complete and that blissful
(06:24):
to be with her and 10 days later, when she left.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
I crashed.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I crashed because I was back with my normal mode of
feeling and my normal mode ofthinking, and it was crap
thinking.
It was like I was hard onmyself.
I didn't think much of myself.
There was really nobody home,honestly.
And so over the years I wentand I searched and I asked
(06:53):
questions, and that's where mycompany, the Goodbye Good Girl
Project, actually comes from.
It's all of these questionsthat I asked because I didn't
want to have a belief.
I wanted to have thatexperience.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
And I wanted it to come from me.
So did you always feel like youhad?
Speaker 2 (07:15):
been a good girl and that was what was keeping you
back.
No, I actually I did know thata lot of us, most of us in this
culture, are pretending.
Right, we're all just sort ofpretending so we can get by
right.
It has nothing to do withanything but our training, right
.
And yet we tend to blameourselves for that right.
(07:37):
We go oh my gosh, there must besomething wrong with me or I
must be stupid, or whatever it'scouched, we all we're like, oh
me, it's me, it's me.
And the thing about truth, realhigh vibrational, emotional,
spiritual truth, is that it'slike a coin and we're just
looking at the wrong side.
(07:58):
Oh, wow, yeah, it is me, it isyou.
But it's not what's wrong withyou, it's let's look at all
that's right with us, right,what's all what is strong about
us, what is amazing, and andthat runs against all of our
training.
So it's not really that we haveto go and fix us.
(08:21):
I don't know about you, but I'vespent so much money going to
workshops and right like, justhelp me, fix me, fix me, and,
you know, even going to seeAmachi, who we call mother,
because ama in the othercountries means mother and
Amachi, the chi part, is thehonorific, which means beloved
or dear, or honored.
(08:43):
So a lot of people get reallyaddicted to the guru.
Oh, I bet Right, because theywant that hit.
They want that hit of like I'min bliss, but I was very
fortunate.
In a very bizarre way mydepression wouldn't let me alone
.
So after I'd met her, thatfirst year and was totally, yeah
(09:04):
, everything is fab.
And then the second year it wasa little less things are fab.
And by the third year I waslike full on depression, even
sitting with her.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Did she have to say about that, or did she?
Speaker 2 (09:19):
She doesn't, she didn't, she talks about that we,
we must meditate, and I hadquestions about that as well.
Like what?
Like, I suck at that.
So what does that mean?
Like, what's?
What am I doing it for?
Is it supposed to bring me joy?
Because all it does is make melook at all the things that I'm
(09:41):
already thinking and that I'mmiserable about.
So, like, how does that help?
She says that we really are onewith all that.
And she says all kinds ofremarkable things.
Like she says mother has nospecial place to dwell, she
dwells in your heart.
Oh, wow, mother is always withyou.
(10:02):
That's beautiful and it's a itis, it's a beautiful concept.
But I wanted it real.
And I went to her at one pointand I said how do I keep you
with me?
Because I knew I wasn't movingto India, because I knew that
when I'd asked, when you go toIndia, to her ashram, where do
(10:22):
you sleep?
How does that work?
Oh, you're in a dormitory,basically with tons of people.
I'm like, no, I'm not going.
No, I snore, I'm not going.
And also the heat.
I'm really bad with heat.
So I knew I wasn't going tolive there.
And what she said to me when Iasked her that question, she
said she said, don't worry,mother is always with you.
(10:45):
And I said yes, but I don'tknow how to feel that she said
just imagine I'm right therenext to you.
Did that help?
No, not at the time.
Not at the time.
See, the thing is that myjourney has been one of asking a
(11:06):
lot of questions abouteverything.
That seems like it should worklike that, because, you know, we
live in a culture that says yousit, take pill, right, right,
are you unhappy?
Fix it Like.
There's just like this instantsort of situation thing that
we've been told it.
There's just like this instantsort of situation thing that
(11:27):
we've been told.
And, in fact, what's missing?
What's been missing and whatwas missing for me for a long
time was actually the feminine,and the feminine is something
interesting because we don'tusually define it and we women
have abandoned it because we'vebeen told we must.
The toxic masculine has beenput forward as our gold standard
(11:50):
, and what I mean by the toxicmasculine is you're not good
where you are, have a goal andmaybe someday you'll be happy
and work your butt off right.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
If you work hard enough, you'll get what you
deserve.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Yeah now how many of us know that that is not true oh
, it's in my hand, yeah yeah,yeah, oh my god.
And women, we don't have toonly work twice as hard as men,
we have to work five times ashard as men.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
And apologize for it at the same time.
And apologize for it at thesame time, and.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
And apologize for it at the same time and ask
permission.
And then we also do that toourselves, because what we've
done is what any good victimdoes, because that's a victim
system Okay, that's just avictim system.
And so what we do is we learnto should on ourselves.
Oh, yeah, right, really hard.
(12:45):
And so there are all of thesethings that we do that when we
stop doing them, we suddenlyfeel odd because it's like wait,
I'm just allowing myself to beme.
How is that possible?
So little things like and youraudience will be able to see
this, but they can imagine whenyou're talking to somebody who
(13:05):
is a man in power, a man who'slike the VP or the CEO or
something, the normal thingwe'll do is sort of like hitch a
shoulder and like tilt our headand say you know, yeah, nice to
meet you, and we go into totalphysical disempowerment mode.
We will also I just wasthinking about this today If you
(13:26):
stand with your feet togetherand you're talking to somebody
and your feet are right, justright next to each other, feel
your feet touching each other,you're easy to push over
physically.
You're easy to push over If youseparate your feet to your
shoulder width and stand likethat in your power, two things
are going to happen.
You're going to feel stable.
(13:47):
You're going to feel like, ohmy God, I'm taking up space.
Actually, three things aregoing to happen.
The person across from you mayget a little uncomfortable if
they're used to you standingwith your feet together because
you cannot be easily pushed over.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Right, so you've changed the dynamics.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Absolutely, absolutely, and realize about
that it doesn't mean that youhave to say something special or
do something special other thanjust separating your feet and
standing upright, not lettingyour shoulders sort of fold in,
but like letting yourself standup.
You know, titties up like lessthan like everybody.
(14:30):
Just be who you are, I'll standup.
You know.
You are a human adult woman, mm, hmm, you exist, you are worth.
You don't just have worth.
You are worth.
You don't just have worth.
You are worth.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
So are these things you learned when you were
questioning, or is thissomething that you came into
later?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
This is definitely from questioning, and I'll tell
you what brought me out of thedepression.
But the coming out of all ofthe beliefs that keep us all
down was because I relentlesslyquestioned.
And you know, if you're a goodgirl, you don't ask questions
other than the ones that willhelp you behave better.
(15:17):
Better quote unquote Right,yeah, I mean, how often have you
sat in like a meeting andeverybody's talking and what's
going on in your head is I havesomething to say, but I don't
know if I should.
I don't know this is reallyimportant, but Should I?
What should I do?
Like there's this whole likesymphony of garbage going on in
(15:40):
your own head.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Well, and part of that is because women are hard
on each other.
I actually started a new job inOctober last year and the first
meeting I went to I spoke upand talked and I found out later
one of the other managers saidwhy is she talking?
Is that a man or a woman?
Was it a woman, a woman?
And I thought why do we do thatto each other?
Speaker 2 (16:03):
I have an answer.
I don't know if you'd want ananswer to that.
Yeah, it's only mine, but yeah,I think it's because we have
bought into the masculine, thetoxic masculine system.
You was probably I mean, in away it wasn't about you in a big
way it probably kicked yourbutt because it activated all
(16:24):
those I shouldn't, I shouldn't,you know, messaging I was quiet
at the next few meetings and II'm still sort of feeling my way
.
You know, with this kind ofgrowth it's never ending, and
that's actually the fun.
Once you can get to how to dothat, it's actually fun because
you're in a constant state of adiscovery about all the stuff,
(16:46):
little by little, that you'regoing oh, that's garbage, I
don't have to do that anymore.
Oh, oh, and look what I'm doingnow.
And that's really me.
Ooh, I like that me.
Ooh, she's cool, I like her, Ilove doing that.
You start to have so much funbeing you, yeah that's great.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
It's good for anything.
Did you ever talking about yourdepression?
Did you ever try conventionalmethods to get rid of the
depression?
Yeah, oh, I'm still onantidepressants, by the way
because, if the worst forgettingthey.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I'm on.
Uh, what's it called?
Effects are I'm I'm on the.
I do that as well, yeah, andit's the worst of all of them,
it wraps itself around yourbrainstem.
Yeah, yeah, it's like gettingoff of that Horrible withdrawal
to get off.
Sorry, horrible withdrawal toget off that For me, I can't.
(17:42):
Well, I have a story about thattoo, but I can't.
Well, I have a story about thattoo, but I can't.
I had to go back on it.
I got off it once.
Wild, crazy story.
There was a shaman I met who I'mnot kidding, I'm not making
this up, this is like crazy,utterly cuckoo.
But this guy lives in, I think,alabama and he went.
(18:11):
He was a an army guy, I think,and he was over in iceland and
he ran into some group.
He went to some group wherethey were doing all of this
shamanistic healing and he wasabsolutely enraptured by it.
And after he got out of themilitary he went back and he
studied to become a shaman andso he is a major like he can.
He doesn'taman, and so he is amajor like he can.
He doesn't every single time,but he's a major energy healer.
(18:33):
Somebody told me about him.
I called him and he talked tome and he said what's up?
And I said here's what's goingon and I really I don't want to
be on these meds anymore.
He went okay, hold on a second,and I'm telling you.
Within a few minutes he said tome okay, you're good,
congratulations, you're off ofthem.
And I went, yeah, sure, right,cause you know what it's like to
miss a dose.
Oh, yeah, you feel it, yourhead goes squirrely, you're like
(18:57):
it's not pretty.
And so I thought, yeah, that'sfunny.
But I said to him oh, thank youso much, I really appreciate it
.
And I said, well, I said tomyself you know, I usually take
this at night, but I'll skip ittonight and I'll see how I feel
tomorrow and I'll bring it towork with me.
I went to work, I was fine.
(19:18):
I was fine all day.
I was fine all night.
I know it's like what, what?
I was fine all night.
I know it's like what, what ishappening that night?
(19:44):
I'm like do I?
And I went to work the next dayI still had all of it in my
purse.
You know I'm like anytime Ineed one, I'm popping a pill
Nothing.
For four months I didn't needany of it Any of it, I know it
blew my freaking mind.
Then what started to happen wasI was in a terrible job.
I was trying a different careerpath wrong career path for Lori
(20:08):
.
Oh, it was torture and I'mreally actually I'm being.
I mean, I don't mean that theywere torturing me, but it was
torture for me to do, to try todo this and and I just persevere
too much.
So I was like I'm going to makeit work.
And the more that it stressedme, the more whatever it was he
had done started to not work aswell and I started to have a
(20:31):
little bit of the withdrawalsymptoms.
And then and then I had mythird nervous breakdown of my
life.
Yep, and this is, this wasactually one of those things
where you go this is the worstand yet it gave me the best.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Really, what was the best that came out of it?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
What happened was are you aware of somebody named
Abraham Hicks?
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Yes, I've listened to some of his material.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Yeah, and for those listening who don't know, I mean
it's a channeled collection ofbeings and it's this lovely
woman named Esther Hicks, right,who channels them and their
entire message.
And they've been doing this for30 some years.
Like this has been going on forfreaking ever, like a massive
(21:26):
band, like I've got to listen toeverything, but they're all on
YouTube, it's free.
It's like I could do this.
So, as I was sinking, as I wasjust going into incredibly deep
depression, having I had twoweeks straight of God, what is
that thing called?
Oh God, what is it where you'rejust totally freaked out, your
can kid that can't call yes, yes, yes.
(21:48):
It was literally a 24-7, twoweeks without rape panic attack.
How horrible, oh my God.
I think I might be my favoritebadass currently, because I
actually went and filmed acommercial.
One of the things I've done isacting and I actually filmed a
commercial while having a fullthings I've done is acting and I
actually filmed a commercialwhile having a full-on panic
attack.
That's incredible.
(22:10):
I could not believe I was doingit, but I was like I'm kind of
I'm a Capricorn and I'm kind ofit's well, it's just go.
Yeah, I'll make it work, buthere I was having this
incredibly hard time and I wasoff the medication and I'd been
(22:31):
off it for four, four and a halfmonths, you know.
So I was just, I was going downand a friend of mine.
I called her and said you'vegot to take me to the hospital.
And I went to the hospital andthey said, okay, well, I said I
don't want to go back on effectsor I don't want to go back.
So they gave me another drug,but it really didn't work.
Though I'm still miserable,there's like no relief, none.
(22:55):
So I ended up going back twoweeks later to the ER and they
go what do you want to do?
I go, put me back on theeffects, or I at least know it
works, and I'd rather be alive.
Right, I give up.
Yeah, I, yeah, uncle.
Yeah, so I took it, I took it,and, but I still had like two
weeks to wait until it kicked in.
Do you know what I mean?
(23:15):
Takes a little while.
Two to four weeks, yeah, two tofour weeks, I know.
And I was like, oh, dear God.
And what they said to me beforeI left was you know, you can
always come back, but all wecould do is lock you up.
There's nothing more we can dofor you.
I'm like that's not the mission.
Yeah, yeah, I don't want that.
(23:37):
No, oh, so, but there I amsitting there in July, middle of
the night, and I'm I mean, I'dbeen in bed for weeks Like I was
doing the last bits of the ofthe job they were letting me
work from home because I was aserious mess and middle of the
night I can feel myself.
(23:58):
I'm going down for the thirdtime and I can't go back to the
ER, I mean, unless it'sabsolutely the last thing you
know, but I can come up with 16million ways of doing something
Like this is one of my strengths.
But at this moment I had nothing.
(24:18):
I was empty.
I had nothing and I said thatto Spirit.
I said I got, I got.
And I didn't say it like canyou give me I?
I got, I got.
And I didn't say it like canyou give me.
I was just like I'm out, I'mdone.
And Abraham was playing onYouTube because I had that going
, because I hoped it would bringup my energy, and what dropped
(24:39):
into my consciousness at thatmoment was why don't you try to
do one of Abraham's rampages?
Now, I don't know if you knowthe rampages, but they're not
angry.
They're rampages ofappreciation, rampages of
self-love, rampages offorgiveness.
I mean, they're beautiful andI've watched them over the years
(25:02):
.
You can find them on YouTube.
If you look up Abraham Hicksrampages, you'll find a million
of them.
Okay, okay, and try to find theones where it's somebody has
asked to hear a rampage so thatthey can have their energy
ramped up, because then you'llbe able to get the context and
the result.
Oh, you went through.
Yeah, and Abraham doesn't teachyou how to do your own rampage.
(25:26):
I mean, there's not like a stepby step that they ever teach.
But I'd noticed a few thingsabout that that it seemed to be
very small steps.
It seemed to be tiny, veryhumble shifts upward.
It seemed to be it built onitself Something maybe I could
(25:52):
do.
Yeah, like I didn't really wow,but I said, well, you know, I
got nothing else, I might aswell try it.
So I took out a journal and apen and I started writing and I
said, okay, I don't know how todo this, but I feel I'm really
in danger here and I feelhorrible.
And then I hear, every time Istart I did this all night, by
(26:13):
the way and every time I wouldstop, I'd be at a place where I
go.
I don't know what to write next.
I don't know how to elevate myemotion, my emotion.
At that second I would hear theYouTube say something amazing,
and I'd be like, and I couldkeep going and keep going with
my own thing.
What happened was I saidsomething like I feel terrible,
(26:35):
don't know how to do this, youknow, but Abraham says that if
you just have a slightly betterfeeling, thought that that's
going to help.
Okay, so what I did, that Ididn't realize was native to me
but had come to me also throughyears of therapy, was I had
(26:57):
become very, very aware of myown emotions and my own sensing.
Oh yeah, right, yep, and so Iwas focused, I was very focused
inside on how I felt, becausethat was what was killing me.
I was feeling like terriblydepressed, so I went.
But abraham says a slightlybetter feeling thought will help
.
Huh, just that, like that's abetter feeling.
(27:20):
Thought than I think I might begoing to die, right, so that's
a better feeling.
Thought than I think I might begoing to die, right, so that's
a better feeling thought.
It's not, hi, I'm living undera bridge Now.
I have a million bucks and youknow wrong.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
You know that's a lie , yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:38):
So what I did for the next 10 minutes, starting off,
just that, I just I just keptwriting, coming up with slightly
better feeling thoughts, butalso letting myself know that
what the argument was with thebetter feeling thought.
So I have this, I'm journalingthe whole thing, okay, yes,
which, according to Abraham andnow according to me, is
(27:59):
brilliant because it keeps youvery focused when you're writing
, so, like with your head, youcan go off in 12 directions
really fast, right, but ifyou're writing, you have to keep
writing, and I'm not talkingabout typing on your computer,
I'm talking about writing with apen and paper, being focused.
Yeah, yeah, and so I okay.
(28:19):
So Abraham says that a betterfeeling thought is what's going
to help.
Well, I don't know what abetter feeling thought would be,
but just the thought that thebetter feeling thought could
help actually is a pinprick oflight in this massive darkness.
That's very interesting.
And then I hear Abraham say whenyou come up with something that
feels even a tiny, the tiniestbit better, focus on it, give it
(28:41):
room to breathe, let it grow.
So it grew a little bit.
And then I went yeah, and Istill feel like crap.
Okay, what else is true aboutthat.
Well, I'll tell you somethingthat's true about me is that I
persevere like crazy, and Ithink that's really a strength
(29:03):
of mine, and I'm very proud ofmyself that I'm just going to
keep breathing right now.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Right, not everybody can do it, not everybody does it
.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
And I felt it and I was focused on me as I said it,
so I could feel the shifts.
I could feel myself starting tolift.
Here's the part that's crazy.
This is crazier than healingfrom it to me.
After 10 minutes I realizedthat I had shifted what Abraham
calls my emotional set point.
I was no longer in danger.
(29:33):
Oh good, I was still a mess, Iwas still depressed AF, I was
not good in any stretch, but Iwasn't in danger of death.
I had some of my strength back,and so I kept doing this
exercise for another five days,and at the end of five days not
(29:56):
that I was aiming for five daysas a specific number, but it
just so happened that the fifthday I suddenly hit a point in my
writing and I went wait,something's different.
And what was different was thatblack cloud I'd carried for
almost 40 years just wasn'tthere.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
After five days.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
After five days, I know, I know Hold on.
Yeah, it is, it's, completelyit's, it's, it's.
It became for me proof of,spiritually, what I understand
but had not been, had not beenable to put into practice in my
(30:36):
regular so-called regular life.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
You understood, it intellectually, but you hadn't
experienced it.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
Right, right which I think is the case with most of
us about spiritual things thatwhat we're really hungry for is
to take those beliefs and makethem practical, make them be our
truth, live them not live ourhead.
Not live them with our physicalbehaviors, but know them in our
being Right.
(31:03):
Yeah, that, yeah, yeah, andthat's really.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
That's the ground under my feet now that's how
long it's been since thathappened that was july of 2022.
Oh, wow, so it's been likethree years almost three, yeah
close yeah, that's amazing, andyou haven't felt that deep
despair again.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
I had, there were two times.
One, I started to feel thedepression come back.
I think this is like a monthafter that and I sat down with
my journal and my penimmediately and it was gone in
three minutes.
It is, it's incredible.
And then the next time that Ifelt depression was due to
medication, because I had tohave a knee replacement and they
(31:51):
put me on these horrific medsthat they put you on so you
don't feel anything for a whileand I'm apparently highly
allergic.
And in coming off of thosethere was massive situation,
massive medication, depression.
Wow, yeah, that took a few daysand then I was through that, I
was through the withdrawal ofthat and yeah, so that was that.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Well, we know, healing isn't always linear.
There's some back steps andsome forward steps, so I assume
that you weren't always 100%.
What would you say to someoneright now who feels like they're
down in despair and they don'tknow what to do?
Speaker 2 (32:35):
It would.
So I don't mean to be evasiveat all when I say this, but it
is a truth.
It really depends on thebeliefs of the person I'm
speaking with.
Okay, energy, we can shift theenergy and shift our entire
(33:04):
reality, and because our wholereality, everybody's reality, is
based on energy yeah, theuniverse's energy yeah right and
I don't have the connection tothe, to the religious thing of.
I need the approval of, andright.
I mean I had, I've had, my fairshare, just because I did as a
(33:27):
child, but no longer.
And I mean I was, I was raisedin a mostly non-religious Jewish
family and because of nothaving that sort of being
steeped and all that, you wouldthink I had no attachment, but I
I've had all.
I've had all of the oh god, godhate me, hates me, and yeah,
(33:47):
I've had all this stuff and it'sso prevalent in society, you
can't miss it.
Yeah yeah so.
But here's the thing.
Here's what I would say tosomebody who was really
depressed.
What is it that gives yourelief?
Let's not go for happiness.
Forget that.
Forget that, because if you'rereally, really down, if you're
(34:09):
really seriously depressed, youprobably don't believe in
happiness right now anyway.
But you might be able tobelieve in relief Because you
might be able to understand thatyou deserve to maybe be a
little less miserable than youare right now.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
I love that because I always you think of like I have
bipolar disorder and I think ofthe ups and the downs, but like
right now, I just feel at peaceand content and that's what I
strive for.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
I just saw a video on that, a little like reel or
something it looked like.
I didn't check out who he was,but it seemed to be some kind of
monk, and he was talking to oneof these famous podcasters.
Who said to him are you happy?
And the man said that's a verydifficult question to answer.
What do you mean by happy?
(35:03):
Right, because he said I don'tstrive to have things he says,
because if I have happiness,then I can also have, you know,
sadness or depression orwhatever it was he mentioned as
the opposite.
He said where there's up,there's down.
He he said but I strive forpeace with where I am.
(35:26):
Yeah, he said do I have badmoments?
Of course I do, right, but it'sa different relate.
This is not him, this is now me.
Now I have a very differentrelationship to my moments or
days of any kind of discomfortor misery or you know old
(35:47):
patterns that will come upbecause now I know, oh wait,
this isn't reality.
Like this is not me.
If people could understand thattheir depression, the bipolar,
the being on the yes, it is whatyou live with, yes, it is what
you're dealing with, but it'snot who you are.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Right, yes, yes, I agree.
And happiness is such afleeting thing, like I might be
happy one moment because I'mlaughing with my family and the
next moment I'm doing dishes andI just feel fine.
You know what I mean.
So and that doesn't mean I'mnot dishes and I just feel fine.
You know what I mean.
So and that doesn't mean I'mnot happy.
It just means not happy in thatmoment, like overjoyed.
(36:30):
You know what I mean, right.
Speaker 2 (36:34):
Right, and you know, abraham says that you can have,
be and do anything you want,anything you want, and that
(36:54):
resonates with me on a very highlevel.
But then the question is how,how Can I get over being bipolar
, can I get over being autistic,can I get over being depressed?
And the answer is you can.
It doesn't mean you will,because there's another part to
this.
That is the part most peoplehave a really hard time with and
some will actively argue withit, and I say keep arguing with
(37:17):
it.
If it's not your truth, let itgo, don't let yourself be
miserable.
And the truth is that we, wechoose.
It's like we've chosen a storyto follow.
Yes, you know, now we candecide we don't want to do this
story anymore, but then thatrequires a great deal of
(37:39):
dedication and and and making areal decision of like okay, wait
and making that decision overand over, and, over and over
again correct I agree with thatyeah
making it over and over again.
And yet what I've experienced,with what I've been, I mean I am
so different than I, than Iused to be.
(38:00):
I'm still so much me, you know,but the old me, if you showed
her one, one hundredth of what'sgoing on in our country three
and a half years ago, I wouldhave instantly gone into deep
clinical depression and anxietyand fear and I would have been a
(38:21):
mess and I would have beencalling my friends going oh, I
need help, help, help I.
And fear.
And I would have been a messand I would have been calling my
friends going oh, I know howwell I mean in now upset, you
bet, yeah, and I know how towork with to up, level my
emotions, to bring truth in mytruth, not anybody else's truth,
but you know, it's your truthwhen you can feel it.
(38:46):
It's about feeling.
It's not what you think, it'swhat you feel, what makes you
feel strengthened, and so it'svery different for me now.
I mean I went and found someamazing political tarot readers
and psychics who are not tellingyou this is what's I mean
they're.
They're saying this could have,this is what it looks like it's
going to happen, and I love itbecause it's the vibration, it's
(39:09):
the feminine side of everything, it's the vibrational stuff.
It's great stuff, yeah.
So it gives you more of a 360degree place to stand and it
reclaims the feminine.
It reactivates not reclaimed,but reactivate the feminine.
Speaker 1 (39:26):
And we and all the things that are happening right
now as like an upheaval, andsometimes you have to have that
big upheaval to have a shift,and so it doesn't necessarily
mean it'll end out bad, but itmight be bad right now yeah,
it's.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
It's what is the cognitive dissonance?
You know the term.
This is like the biggestfreaking cognitive dissonance in
our lifetime so far.
Yeah, you know, this is like itdoesn't even be.
There's no way to make itcompute that there could be this
much deliberate insanity,cruelty, damn it, like it.
(40:10):
Just it makes your mind want toexplode.
But what you just said is whatrescued me, because I realized
wait a second, wait a second.
This is because we're having abreakdown in order to have a
breakthrough.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
Yes, yes, that's what I hold on to Me too.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
And yeah, that makes sense.
Tell me a little bit about whatyou do to maintain your
positivity or maintain yourhealth, your mental health.
Speaker 2 (40:42):
Something deceptively simple.
It's not simple at first, itgets simpler, but my, my
emotions come first.
Yeah, that's it, that's it.
And if you're used to, as I was, if you're used to looking at
the negative side, trying toprotect yourself from bad by
always looking at the bad, yeahright, then that's then you.
(41:08):
You're like I don't understand.
What do you mean?
My emotion is important.
How can I possibly be happywhen I am so focused on making
sure that I'm not damaged bythese possibilities that could
happen, and I actually was doingsome journaling for myself this
morning around that, becauseit's funny, you'll still.
I'll still find, and I probablyalways will.
(41:29):
I mean, there's just alwaysmore growth, right?
But, this little bit of untrusthanging out in this corner of me
, like I've just made thisdecision, as of yesterday, to
not keep looking for full-timework.
I just finished a contractposition that was, you know,
(41:49):
short-term, like 12 weeks, andI'm beginning to, I'm beginning
my speaking career and Iwonderful right, and I've begun
my podcast about two, two and ahalf months ago and I'm like
this is what I'm here to do.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
This is what I meant.
Your podcast was great.
Yeah, you were talking aboutthe three things to do to get
out of the struggles.
Speaker 2 (42:17):
Thank you.
Oh, my God, that's so excitingfor me.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
I know Sometimes we just want to be heard Always.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
I always want to.
I'm not, I'm not just be honestwith you, I just want, I mean,
and I want to hear too.
Like I love learning aboutpeople, yeah, I do.
That's why I'm doing thepodcast, like, let's, let's get
together, let me learn about youand let's also upset some apple
carts.
That are apple carts, yeah,yeah, but rotten apples right
(42:50):
and give.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
I want to give people a place where they can come and
feel safe to talk about the thelows, the highs, the
in-betweens, just a place to sayI'm human, here is what I like
and that's not so odd.
Speaker 2 (43:06):
That is the most beautiful calling on earth to me
.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
You do it beautifully .
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Oh, thank you.
Well, I've really enjoyedtalking with you today.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
I could talk with you every day, Girl me too, and I'd
like to have you on my podcast.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Oh, I'd love to do that, yeah, and did I see on
your website that you actuallydo some coaching?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
I do, I do.
I do leadership coaching forwomen, for like high level
people.
That's like the stuff that'sexpensive, the stuff that people
can afford is workshops.
So I'm putting together rightnow something called acting off,
and you are an actor, I'm anactor, and one of the things
that is so this is one of thethings that brought me out of my
(43:55):
shell even before I was out ofthe depression was acting,
because it was like you get onstage and people expect you to
be kind of nuts.
You know, like they expect youto be a little bit out there and
self-expressive.
Here's something else I do Ican help people with their talks
.
So if they have to give a talk,I will do that kind of coaching
(44:16):
as well, and we can write thespeech, get them on their feet.
Like you, I'm very good athelping women step into their
ease and their strengths.
Speaker 1 (44:28):
That's giving them this space.
Yeah, well, I saw you actuallyhad like a 30-minute free
coaching.
You'll give somebody Icertainly do.
Oh, absolutely that's awesome.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Well, make sure I put your website in the links in
the show notes awesome, yeah,and if you could put that
30-minute strategy call in there, yeah, definitely Great.
Thanks for mentioning that Ican't believe I forgot.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
Yeah, definitely, All right.
Well, I want to thank you againand I hope we'll get to talk
again soon.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
I can't wait, you are absolutely lovely.
Thank you so much for having meon.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Thank you so much for having me on.
Thank you.
That's it for today's episodeof Advancing with Amy, mental
health lawyer and NeuroSpicyMama.
Huge thanks to Lori Kirsteinfor getting honest about her
journey, her struggles,breakthroughs and how emotional
energetics helped her find realpeace.
I hope you found her story asinspiring as I did.
(45:23):
If you want to connect withLawyer, snag that free 30-minute
strategy call.
The links are in the show notes.
Don't miss out.
And hey, if you enjoyed thisepisode, don't forget to rate,
review and share it with afriend.
It really helps us grow andbring on more amazing guests.
Thanks for hanging out and keepadvancing, warriors.
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