June 23, 2025 • 28 mins
"When you die, you're never going to wish you worked more." These words from Tori Jenae's grandfather became a guiding light through her darkest moments. As a trauma-informed confidence coach who has walked through fire – from childhood trauma to profound loss, from adrenal failure to divorce – Tori brings hard-earned wisdom to women caught in cycles of burnout and overwhelm.
The modern woman's burnout crisis isn't just about being busy. Women today are primary breadwinners, caregivers, emotional laborers, and household managers – all while our society still operates on outdated schemas about who should handle what. We've only had access to our own bank accounts since 1974, yet we're expected to excel in every domain without letting anything drop. The result? An epidemic of exhaustion that manifests as mood swings, disrupted sleep, digestive issues, and a pervasive feeling of hopelessness.
For Tori, burnout became life-threatening when her extremely long workweeks and perfectionism led to Addison's disease – her adrenal glands simply quit functioning. Her healing journey revealed that burnout stems from deeper patterns: people-pleasing, boundary challenges, and finding worth in achievement rather than existence. The path forward begins with what she calls the ABCs: Awareness something needs to change, examining the Beliefs driving our behavior, and Calming our nervous systems through practices that regulate our bodies' stress responses.
When we heal and evolve, our relationships often face growing pains too. Tori shares how her own marriage ended when her personal growth created an energetic imbalance the relationship couldn't bridge. Yet she emphasizes that couples who choose to "fall in love with new versions of each other over and over" can transform together rather than grow apart.
Whether you're running on empty or supporting someone who is, this episode offers both practical tools and soul-deep permission to put yourself back on your own priority list. Connect with Tori at www.torijenae.com or @ToriJenae on Instagram to continue your journey from burnout to breakthrough.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So it's really like doing that internal check to say
like, who am I, what do Ireally want?
And I love the question.
I only had six months to liveand I was going to be healthy,
but I knew I was going to leave.
What would you be doing?
Would your life look the same?
Because one thing mygrandfather said to me right
before he passed was thatbecause he knew gosh I was like
(00:22):
20 at the time and he alreadysaw how type A achiever I was.
And he said, tori, when youdied, you're never going to wish
you worked more.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Welcome back to Mental Health Warrior and
NeuroSpicy Mama, the podcastwhere we say the quiet parts out
loud and give burnout,people-pleasing and generational
expectations the side eyeeyethey deserved.
Today I'm talking with thebrilliant and deeply soulful
Tori Jene.
She's a trauma-informedconfidence and relationship
(00:53):
coach with over 13 years ofexperience, multiple degrees in
psychology and let's be real thekind of lived wisdom you can't
learn in school.
Let's be real the kind of livedwisdom you can't learn in
school.
Lori helps women heal emotionalwounds, rebuild their
self-worth and rise strong afterbreakups, divorce or personal
loss.
She blends psychology, somatichealing and spiritual wisdom to
(01:17):
guide women into aligned,thriving lives.
And y'all she's been through it, from childhood trauma to
profound personal loss.
Her journey is real, raw andresilient, and she brings all of
that to her work.
So if you're exhausted fromcarrying it all, stuck in a
cycle of burnout or quietlywondering is this all there is?
(01:41):
This conversation is your callto come back to yourself.
Let's dive in.
All right, here we are withTori Janay.
Welcome, tori.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Thank you, it's so good to be here with you.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Oh, I'm glad to have you.
Can I tell us how burnout isexisting today in a woman's life
, like is it just career, or isit family?
What kind of burnout are youtalking about?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I feel like burnout is something that I've
definitely lived through, but Ifeel like, because women are
doing so much more than we everhave in history, it's showing up
everywhere because women arenow working outside the home.
Obviously, in a lot of homes inthe US we are the primary
breadwinners as well.
We're outnumbering men inuniversities and colleges two to
one almost.
(02:29):
So we're doing more than weever have before, but we're also
still doing a lion's share ofthe housework and what they call
emotional labor, which ischecking in on your partner,
checking on your kids.
Is your mom okay?
Is your sister okay?
Is your brother okay?
So we're managing so much morethan we ever have before and not
(02:50):
much is getting taken off ofour plate.
So I really see burnouthappening in almost all women.
Even if it's a stay-at-home mom, it doesn't mean she can't be
experiencing burnout.
So I definitely want to expandthe definition because I think
sometimes women particularlyfeel guilty if we can't perform
or achieve or do tasks at a highlevel.
(03:12):
We almost have this inner needto be super busy and take care
of everybody else, and that isreally creating burnout.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
You know, I was thinking about what you said
about not taking any of thechores off.
Thinking about what you saidabout not taking any of the
chores off.
Why is it that you think thatfamilies are still set in that
like 50s mentality, that thewoman does all the chores?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I think it's like outdated what we call schemas or
mental structures or beliefs.
You know it's like we're veryfew generations removed from
that right.
Like my grandmother stayed athome and raised all of her
children and my mom worked some.
But we forget that like women,particularly in the United
States, the United Kingdom, likein the Western world, we've
only had access to our own moneyand jobs for like less than 50
(03:58):
years.
People forget that women couldnot have a bank account in the
United States in her own nameuntil like 1974, which means
right before I was born, my momcould not have her own bank
account.
So our roles have just been sowell definedasking.
And this fits in very well toneurodivergence, because I
(04:27):
actually feel like there's a.
My personal theory ofneurodivergence is the brain is
also trying to adapt to all ofthe stressors, all the new
things that are trying to keepmultiple tabs open.
There was this really beautifuland funny study that they did
with college students in apretend kitchen and had females,
you know, born females, maleswe won't get into gender very
(04:49):
much, but just those whoidentified and are physical
females and males.
And in this fake kitchen therewas a baby in a walker, a fire
on the stove and something elsewent wrong, and almost all of
the time women could prevent thebaby from going down the stairs
, put out the fire on the stoveand take care of the other thing
(05:12):
.
Men failed over 50% of the time.
So I think women can and wehave this ability, and then we
have this guilt when we don'ttake care of everything because
we know that we can, but it'sreally coming at a cost to our
mind, our body and ultimately, Ithink, our soul, because one of
the things, one of theinteresting signs of burnout is
a feeling of hopelessness.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
How does burnout show itself Like?
What are you looking for to seeif you're burned out?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
I think one thing you can check for in yourself is
like mood swings, feeling alittle bit checked out, like
you're just tired all the time.
You have no energy.
You might start having somephysical issues like having I
love the saying you feel tiredbut wired.
So maybe three o'clock in theday you're so exhausted and you
(05:59):
cannot wait to get to bed, butthen when it's time to go to bed
you're having a hard timewinding down.
That's a big sign because thatmeans your adrenals or your
stress system is just in this onstate all the time, and so at
three o'clock our cortisolnaturally dips.
So when that goes down, butthen it starts to rise again, we
can also feel really likeincreased emotional sensitivity.
(06:20):
So things that bother us nowthey maybe didn't used to or
maybe we had more, and what Icall emotional bandwidth or
regulation things are making asnap a little bit easier
nowadays.
I see it as just like thisfeeling of being overwhelmed,
hopeless, feeling like you justgot to get through one more week
.
You just gotta, you just gottado it.
(06:41):
And then I do see a lot, like Isaid, in sleep, digestive
issues, energy.
Even your cycle, your menstrualcycle, if you still have one is
going to show you that yourbody is burning out.
So that's one of the first.
The early signs that we forgetis how is our body working?
Because our mind will make upall kinds of things, but our
body will never lie to us.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, All right.
So yeah, that makes me wonderdo women just give up at that
point and, like you know, throwaway the marriage or throw away
the job or whatever, or arethere actual ways to come back
from?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
burnout.
Yeah, I think it's recognizingthat you have it and knowing
that it's okay and that there'snothing wrong with you and that
you know.
I think the hardest thing forwomen is knowing that they're
going to have to shift andchange how they show up, they're
going to have to ask for help,they're going to have to change
how much they're doing andthey're kind of afraid to let
(07:36):
things fall.
I find so when I'm dealing withpeople with burnout, they
usually have, you know, a prettysuccessful job or a passion
project, something they're doing.
They're taking care of,possibly kids or family members,
like they have a lot on theirplate and they are having a hard
time understanding like how canI get all this done still and
take care of myself?
And I do find that like there'sthe psychological correlation
(07:59):
between burnout and the womenthat I've worked at with is they
tend to lack boundaries, bepeople pleasers and high
achievers, and you might be justone of all three of those or
one of those.
I mean, at one point in my lifeI was all three, yeah, so it's
kind of like I can do this, Ishould do this, and they have a
hard time thinking like, well,who would I be if I didn't do
(08:20):
this, and then the guilt willset in Well, if I didn't take
care of everyone this way.
You know, it's like we almostfind our worth in our busyness
and our caring and all thosekinds of things, and so it takes
some deeper inner work tountangle that so that we can let
go of the guilt, so we can feellike we're still enough if
we're not overgiving, overdoingand what's called
(08:42):
over-functioning, which meansI'm just functioning at a high
level all the time and I'mtaking care of everyone mentally
, emotionally, physically andI'm not ever focused on myself.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
That makes sense.
Do you think that women alsohave trouble maybe prioritizing
and picking out what they canget rid of?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Oh, absolutely, because you know, I think we've
kind of it's been jokinglycalled like superwoman syndrome,
right, like we are expected,and I think the Barbie movie was
kind of cute, and talking aboutthis, when America Ferreira has
that speech that she givesabout you know, women are, you
can't be too much of this, likeyou can't be too skinny but you
can't be too overweight, youcan't be this, you can't be that
(09:21):
.
It's like we are just boxed inso tightly nowadays, like we're
not supposed to stay homebecause we're supposed to have a
career.
And then, if we have a career,well, we can't be too busy
because we have to take care ofour children or not, or our
family members or someone, orour husbands or whoever it is in
our life, our partners, andthen, like I think we just have
(09:43):
these expectations that arereally like through the roof and
we are trying to be everythingto everyone and we forget that
you can have it all but not atthe same time.
And I know from personalexperience so I have a ton of
childhood trauma and lifeexperiences have been very
difficult.
But when I was in my 30s and Iwas going like early, like 30,
(10:05):
31, I decided I was in humanresources.
I worked for a very largecompany.
I had about 27 direct reports.
I worked for a 7,000 personcompany.
I was going to graduate schoolon evenings and weekends.
I was doing what they call lowresidency program and I was also
having a coaching practice onthe weekends.
I was working 100 hours a week.
(10:28):
I was married at the time so Iwas trying to have time for my
relationship and I couldn't evenbelieve how, like I had every
hour of every day for about 12hours a week, 12 hours per day,
scheduled tight andunfortunately my body gave
before my mind did and it reallytook that breakdown physically
to have a breakthrough Like Ihad to have like a physical
(10:48):
diagnosis, what's calledAddison's disease.
It's when your adrenals, whichare the little glands on top of
the kidneys that actually pushout cortisol and adrenaline all
these hormones that give usenergy mine just quit working.
They just gave up.
They, they were, they tappedout.
Wow, it took me years to healthat and I really had to do the
(11:10):
inner work to change how Iviewed myself, how I viewed
productivity, how I viewedachievement, how I viewed taking
care of other people, like allof that kind of stuff, to really
heal that burnout.
And I also had to grieve thatversion of myself who could work
like that, because you knowthat that high-performing,
perfectionist type a girl hadhad to go because she was going
to literally kill me.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
It's like if she did.
Oh no, so how did you heal?
I mean, I know you said youkind of changed your mindset and
what you were thinking, but howdid you do that?
Speaker 1 (11:42):
yeah so.
So I always, I always had itreally simple for people.
It's I call it the ABCs ofhealing.
So, a we want to have theawareness Okay, something's not
working, like I'm not happy, I'mnot feeling good, and that's
okay, and I need to know and Ineed to make shift.
And it doesn't have to be tooscary, and I always pray people
can not let it be too painfulbefore they make that shift,
(12:04):
because that's another thingthat we do with women.
It's like the pain and thepressure has to be so big that
we actually do something aboutit.
And that was definitely me.
I'm hardheaded.
And then B is like what are thebeliefs that I have about myself
and about life?
So that might be writing on apiece of paper.
Like what do I think isexpected of me?
What am I supposed to be doing?
Like, what should I be doing inlife?
(12:26):
And it's kind of a joke.
I trained with Louise Hay manyyears ago but she used to say
you can should all over yourself.
So what are those shoulds youhave in your life?
Like do I believe that in orderto be a good whatever mom,
sister, brother, worker,colleague I have to be all these
things?
And then start to question that.
And then the C is.
(12:48):
Now I can start clearing thatand calming that from my nervous
system, because it's not justin the mind, it's also in the
body.
It's just like we have avisceral reaction to things we
might have trauma.
You know all people pleasingcomes from a childhood that we
had to people please in order tothings.
We might have trauma.
You know all people pleasingcomes from a childhood that we
had to people please in order tosurvive.
And it comes from love and it'snot a bad thing.
(13:09):
It's just that those oldpatterns of being will not get
us where we want to go.
I always say you know, what gotyou here won't get you there and
that, like the way that I waswired was very like high
achieving and you know that camefrom a lot of like.
I wanted recognition, I wantedto feel good, I wanted all the
(13:31):
kinds of love and things that Ididn't get growing up.
So I got it from achievementright.
That was like the first timepeople had been like, wow,
you're amazing, look, how do youdo all this stuff, look at how
far you've come.
You're only 30 and you've madeit here.
And I was like, oh, and I justate it up.
But I didn't recognize thatthat wasn't going to actually
fill the void that was in myheart.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Not only not fill the void, but once they've said
that you feel like you have tolive up to that jokingly call
destination addiction.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Like we found this place that feels really good and
we keep thinking, oh, if I getthe next thing or the next
promotion or I do the nextbetter thing, I'll feel even
better.
But we just wear ourselves downeven more.
So it's really like doing thatinternal check to say like, who
am I?
What do I really want?
And I love the question.
I only had six months to liveand I was going to be healthy,
(14:26):
but I knew I was going to leave.
What would you be doing?
Would your life look the same?
Because one thing mygrandfather said to me right
before he passed was thatbecause he knew gosh, I was like
20 at the time and he alreadysaw how type A achiever I was.
And he said, tori, when you died, you're never going to wish you
worked more, because he hadcancer and he was dying and he
(14:46):
was a hard worker and he wantedto point that out to me and it
took me many years to actuallyintegrate that stuff, but it
always stuck with me.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I got chills, though that's so important and so nice
that he shared that with you.
He definitely was concerned.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Yeah, there's a great book called the Five Regrets of
the Dying.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Oh, okay, definitely was concerned.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, there's a great book called the Five Regrets of
the Dying.
I think her name was Bonnie orBronnie Ware, but anyway, she
was a hospice nurse who sat withthousands of people who were
passing and she started torecord their stories, because
everyone wants to know thattheir life matters, of course.
And in writing all of theirstories and recording them, she
started to find that there wasthemes to everyone's story and
(15:28):
so she wrote a beautiful bookand I thought I read that,
luckily when I was like 33.
And then I've had a lot of loss, like I've lost my sister, my
mom, my dad, my grandparents, mylike most, I'm the oldest
living person in my immediatefamily, so I've experienced tons
of loss.
But what I really learned aboutfrom that book and my own loss
is that it teaches you how tolive, and so that's where I
(15:50):
really get with women on likeburnout and taking care of
themselves and like aligningtheir life to their truth is
like life is short, it's goingto pass you by so quickly and
you don't want to look back withregret.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Oh, definitely not.
So what about partners andfamily and friends?
How can they support someonethat's going through that
burnout?
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Yeah, I mean it's good if we can communicate to
them and ask for the support andeven tell them, if you are a
partner and you see it, it'skind of bringing it up to that
person with love and say like,hey, I see you're doing a lot, I
see it taking an effect on yourhealth, or you know, I'm really
concerned, I'm here for you,can I help you?
So if you are that partner orthat family member, you can
(16:32):
definitely try to have a lovingconversation and just bring it
up, but with a lot of caution,because they may not be ready to
face it.
And so it's the hardest thingon the planet is to know that we
can't fix anyone but ourselves.
Yeah, and that is kind of whereI think women also fail, and
myself too.
You know, both my parents hadaddiction problems and my sister
(16:54):
did as well, and so I tried tohelp and save them.
And so I don't say that fromsomeone who hasn't tried to do
it herself and failed andlearned the lesson the hard way.
Everything I share, even thoughI do have multiple degrees in
psychology and all kinds oftraining, I've walked the fire
of everything I speak about.
I've been through death anddivorce and I've pretty much
(17:15):
lost everything in life, from mymoney to my health, to my
marriage, to my house, like youname it.
I've had to give it up andrebuild myself.
So I guess when I share, thesestories.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I always like people to know that you seem so
together and you obviously arevery intelligent.
How do you deal with all ofthat in your history and
actually heal and move on?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Yeah, it's not, it's no easy feat and I will say that
you know, I've definitely hadtimes in my life where I'm like,
if this is what life is, Idon't know if I can keep going.
It was definitely times where Iwas like, okay, universe, if
this is it, I'm ready to go home, I'm good.
But that kind of grief thatlike cracks your soul open, and
(17:57):
it can happen from lots ofthings.
You know, I've had moredifficult that I always remind
my clients, like you know, justa divorce on its own can bring
that for us.
Just a child who's ill canbring that level of pain for us.
Just, you know, losing a parentcan bring that level of pain.
And so, yeah, I've walkedthrough a lot of those things
and it's really comes down tothe, really the basic tools of
(18:18):
taking care of ourselves, whichnone of us want to do.
And it is like particularly Iknow your audience is more
neurodivergent, but I think inwomen in general like we really
have to have structure in ourlives.
We have to have self-care andthat is not bubble baths and
manicures, that is boundaries,and eating well and moving our
bodies and learning to say noand mindfulness, meditation.
(18:41):
You know these kinds of thingsliterally saved my life If I had
not had these processes andthese, because you know, I'm a
yoga and meditation teacher.
I've been practicing, I've beenstudying psychology for 26
years now, so I had a lot of thetools to help me get through
that.
But I will always say start withyour body, because your nervous
system is what the body keepsthe score your nervous system,
(19:03):
your sensitivity, all that stuff.
So we've got to bring in thosecalming practices.
So take deep breaths, takewalks in nature, take a yoga
class.
You know I would like to startwith what's free because I want
it to be available to everyone.
But doing that breath where youdraw in your breath for five or
six, hold for six and then outfor eight, like that, will start
(19:24):
calming your autonomic nervoussystem.
Yoga has been proven, and goodyoga too.
I would like make sure thatpeople know that you should feel
really calm when you leave yoga.
It shouldn't be like weightsand techno music and should be
really focused on the breath.
And there's a famous book calledthe Body Keeps the Score where
they talk about trauma andhealing trauma.
(19:44):
It's a really deep book, soI'll give you the cliff notes.
But basically, when we havechronic stress or trauma in our
lives, our nervous system, ourbody really hold on to that.
That's why we can think of theclassic PTSD maybe person who
went to war, and they come homeand they've done years of talk
therapy but when they hearfireworks or they hear a car
(20:06):
backfire, their body drops tothe ground and it's because
their nervous system has encodedhow to stay safe and so we
forget that our bodies do thattoo.
So even if we grew up with,maybe, a really critical mother
and we learned to protectourselves from that, now we've
got a critical partner or bossand that's starting to eat away
at ourselves every single day.
(20:27):
Or we've had this loss that youknow, that's.
Our biggest fear was losing ourmother, and now we did.
So it's really getting to thosecalming practices in the body of
grounding yourself.
So it can be breath, it can bemeditation, it can be yoga, it
can be nature, it can be EFT,tapping emotional freedom
technique, which you can findhow to do online.
(20:48):
You know there's tons of videosof how to do it for free, but
it's something I practice, I'mtrained in.
I also do something calledenergy psychology, emdr, which
is eye movement, rapiddesensitization, which also
helps us process trauma.
So, starting with the body, thenmoving into the mind, and the
mind is really how do I learnemotional regulation?
(21:09):
How do I look at my beliefs, mythoughts, my feelings?
Am I stuck in rumination?
Am I stuck in negative loops?
Can I use mantra?
Can I use affirmation, anything, to start bringing myself like
one level up?
If I'm, you know, I've been invery deep levels of grief before
and I used to spend just like ahalf hour a day making sure I
(21:30):
felt that all.
And then I would remind myselflike, even though, like I
remember, when my mom died and Iwas building my business at
that time, it was like such astressful, my sister had
overdosed, my mom died and likewithin a 13 month period, and I
was also.
I had just started my business.
So it was like I would justremember, like okay, I'm gonna
feel as much as I can, becauseif you can't feel it, you can't
(21:51):
heal it.
And then I'm going to remindmyself, even though all this has
happened, I'm okay, I'm stillstanding, I can still take one
step forward, and so how youtalk to yourself is another big
one.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
You know, speaking of you were talking about divorces
earlier.
I've noticed that a lot oftimes and I wondered if you'd
noticed this too.
Noticed that a lot of times andI wondered if you'd noticed
this too.
When women start to I don'tknow evolve, when they start to
really feel like I got to takecare of myself and I'm going to
set boundaries, and they startdoing things they've never done
before.
Have you seen how that affectsthe marriage?
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Absolutely.
When one person grows and theother person does not, there's
almost like an energeticimbalance.
It's like and this happened inmy own relationship he's a great
guy.
We're still friends, we really,you know, we mediated our
divorce.
It wasn't anything difficult.
It's just like I had reallyworked on growing myself for
years and I had changed andevolved and what I needed
evolved and he just could notmatch that anymore and so it
(22:49):
started to create a lot offriction.
And losing him in my life wasvery difficult, because I'd been
with him since I was very young.
I mean, you know, I met himlike 21, 22.
He'd been one of the few peopleI've been in my life
consistently for a really longtime.
So I but I see this a lot inwomen Like when we start
evolving and changing andadvocating for our needs and
(23:10):
setting boundaries, a lot oftimes our partner is not super
happy about that and we're notexactly the person that they
fell in love with, and then that, vice versa, our partner is no
longer the person that we fellin love with.
So I kind of say that thecouples that can grow together
and evolve together and chooseto fall in love with the new
versions of each other over andover again are typically the
(23:31):
ones who can make it, the oneswho can have the hard
conversations, the ones who cansay like hey, we've grown apart.
You know what can we do to comeback together?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
I like that because I think if you involve your
partner in things like therapy,you know, or going to learn a
new style of yoga, or whateveryou're doing, if you involve
them and they move with you thatseems much easier to keep that
relationship together.
I totally get that.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Yeah, you're a thousand percent right and you
know, sometimes they get alittle stubborn.
You know, here I am doing whatI do and my ex, you know, great
guy, but like he didn't want togo to therapy.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
I'd asked him for over 11 years, oh wow.
Yeah, he was set.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Yeah, he was good and you know, of course people do
what they're going to do whenthey're ready to do it and but
you know, it just wasn't, itwasn't something he was into at
the time and that didn't allowus to come back together.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Yeah, now you work with women on a regular basis.
You're a coach.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yes, I work as a coach because in the state of
California to work as atherapist you are under a
license and it's a differentprocess and I can't work with
anyone outside of my state and Iactually have an international
practice.
So I work with people acrossthe United States, in London and
Dubai and a couple of places inEurope.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Okay, how do you actually work with them?
Is it all on Zoom or?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
It is.
It's all on Zoom now.
I do travel to those places tosee my clients in person, just
to like meet them, and you knowI'll be going to London next
month to see people and do someworkshops there.
But, yeah, I've been doing thiswork online since 2018.
I got very lucky.
My intuition said it was timeto build my business more
(25:17):
internationally and more freelyso that I could work from
anywhere in the world.
I got tired of driving aroundLA.
It was stressing me out, so Iwas like, okay, I've got to make
a tough choice.
So I had actually switched toZoom by late 2018.
So by the time the pandemiccame around, I'd already been
working this way for a long time, and so I do.
(25:38):
Wow, that's great.
Yeah, I do the work that I do,you know, mind, body and soul,
but I do that via Zoom primarily.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Okay, Well, I've really enjoyed this and I've
learned so much.
Is there something that you'dwant to leave our listeners with
something they can hang on toif they're going through burnout
or having a tough time?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, just know that it won't last forever and that
it's very unlikely that we cando it alone.
So to really employ someassistance anybody a partner, a
best friend, anyone who canreally help you, a therapist or
a coach, just someone who canhelp guide you out of your own
way because that's what we alldo we can't see the picture when
(26:20):
we're in the frame, but I trulybelieve and I have seen that we
are all resilient, we canreally heal anything and you can
come out of that phase.
So I've been in some of thedarkest things humans can
experience and I've walked outof them.
So I always just hope that mystory inspires people to know
that for sure.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Well, it definitely is inspiring, and I love that
you're giving people hope andsomething to hold on to, because
we all need that.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
That is for sure.
Hope is the antithesis to allthe things that we experience
every day as humans, becauselife isn't always easy.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Right, sure isn't All right.
Well, thanks so much for comingtoday.
Thank you so much for having me.
If that didn't hit straight inthe soul, I don't know what
would Corey brought the kind ofwisdom that only comes from
walking through the fire andchoosing to rise anyway.
Burnout isn't a flaw, it's aflashing red light, and healing
(27:14):
starts when we stop trying tocarry everything alone and start
honoring what we need.
If you want more of Corrie'sinsight and trust me, you do
head to wwwcorriejanaycom.
That's wwwcorrijanecom, that'sW-W-W dot T-O-R-I-J-E-N-A-E dot
(27:35):
com, or follow her on Instagramat Tori Janae.
She's the real deal, and ifyou're feeling inspired to
reclaim your power, rest yournervous system or finally put
yourself on your own damnpriority list stick around, hit
subscribe.
We're not done here.
Keep breathing and keepadvancing, warrior.
So it's really like doing that internal check to say
like, who am I, what do Ireally want?
And I love the question.
I only had six months to liveand I was going to be healthy,
but I knew I was going to leave.
What would you be doing?
Would your life look the same?
Because one thing mygrandfather said to me right
before he passed was thatbecause he knew gosh I was like
(00:22):
20 at the time and he alreadysaw how type A achiever I was.
And he said, tori, when youdied, you're never going to wish
you worked more.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Welcome back to Mental Health Warrior and
NeuroSpicy Mama, the podcastwhere we say the quiet parts out
loud and give burnout,people-pleasing and generational
expectations the side eyeeyethey deserved.
Today I'm talking with thebrilliant and deeply soulful
Tori Jene.
She's a trauma-informedconfidence and relationship
(00:53):
coach with over 13 years ofexperience, multiple degrees in
psychology and let's be real thekind of lived wisdom you can't
learn in school.
Let's be real the kind of livedwisdom you can't learn in
school.
Lori helps women heal emotionalwounds, rebuild their
self-worth and rise strong afterbreakups, divorce or personal
loss.
She blends psychology, somatichealing and spiritual wisdom to
(01:17):
guide women into aligned,thriving lives.
And y'all she's been through it, from childhood trauma to
profound personal loss.
Her journey is real, raw andresilient, and she brings all of
that to her work.
So if you're exhausted fromcarrying it all, stuck in a
cycle of burnout or quietlywondering is this all there is?
(01:41):
This conversation is your callto come back to yourself.
Let's dive in.
All right, here we are withTori Janay.
Welcome, tori.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Thank you, it's so good to be here with you.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Oh, I'm glad to have you.
Can I tell us how burnout isexisting today in a woman's life
, like is it just career, or isit family?
What kind of burnout are youtalking about?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I feel like burnout is something that I've
definitely lived through, but Ifeel like, because women are
doing so much more than we everhave in history, it's showing up
everywhere because women arenow working outside the home.
Obviously, in a lot of homes inthe US we are the primary
breadwinners as well.
We're outnumbering men inuniversities and colleges two to
one almost.
(02:29):
So we're doing more than weever have before, but we're also
still doing a lion's share ofthe housework and what they call
emotional labor, which ischecking in on your partner,
checking on your kids.
Is your mom okay?
Is your sister okay?
Is your brother okay?
So we're managing so much morethan we ever have before and not
(02:50):
much is getting taken off ofour plate.
So I really see burnouthappening in almost all women.
Even if it's a stay-at-home mom, it doesn't mean she can't be
experiencing burnout.
So I definitely want to expandthe definition because I think
sometimes women particularlyfeel guilty if we can't perform
or achieve or do tasks at a highlevel.
(03:12):
We almost have this inner needto be super busy and take care
of everybody else, and that isreally creating burnout.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
You know, I was thinking about what you said
about not taking any of thechores off.
Thinking about what you saidabout not taking any of the
chores off.
Why is it that you think thatfamilies are still set in that
like 50s mentality, that thewoman does all the chores?
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I think it's like outdated what we call schemas or
mental structures or beliefs.
You know it's like we're veryfew generations removed from
that right.
Like my grandmother stayed athome and raised all of her
children and my mom worked some.
But we forget that like women,particularly in the United
States, the United Kingdom, likein the Western world, we've
only had access to our own moneyand jobs for like less than 50
(03:58):
years.
People forget that women couldnot have a bank account in the
United States in her own nameuntil like 1974, which means
right before I was born, my momcould not have her own bank
account.
So our roles have just been sowell definedasking.
And this fits in very well toneurodivergence, because I
(04:27):
actually feel like there's a.
My personal theory ofneurodivergence is the brain is
also trying to adapt to all ofthe stressors, all the new
things that are trying to keepmultiple tabs open.
There was this really beautifuland funny study that they did
with college students in apretend kitchen and had females,
you know, born females, maleswe won't get into gender very
(04:49):
much, but just those whoidentified and are physical
females and males.
And in this fake kitchen therewas a baby in a walker, a fire
on the stove and something elsewent wrong, and almost all of
the time women could prevent thebaby from going down the stairs
, put out the fire on the stoveand take care of the other thing
(05:12):
.
Men failed over 50% of the time.
So I think women can and wehave this ability, and then we
have this guilt when we don'ttake care of everything because
we know that we can, but it'sreally coming at a cost to our
mind, our body and ultimately, Ithink, our soul, because one of
the things, one of theinteresting signs of burnout is
a feeling of hopelessness.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
How does burnout show itself Like?
What are you looking for to seeif you're burned out?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
I think one thing you can check for in yourself is
like mood swings, feeling alittle bit checked out, like
you're just tired all the time.
You have no energy.
You might start having somephysical issues like having I
love the saying you feel tiredbut wired.
So maybe three o'clock in theday you're so exhausted and you
(05:59):
cannot wait to get to bed, butthen when it's time to go to bed
you're having a hard timewinding down.
That's a big sign because thatmeans your adrenals or your
stress system is just in this onstate all the time, and so at
three o'clock our cortisolnaturally dips.
So when that goes down, butthen it starts to rise again, we
can also feel really likeincreased emotional sensitivity.
(06:20):
So things that bother us nowthey maybe didn't used to or
maybe we had more, and what Icall emotional bandwidth or
regulation things are making asnap a little bit easier
nowadays.
I see it as just like thisfeeling of being overwhelmed,
hopeless, feeling like you justgot to get through one more week
.
You just gotta, you just gottado it.
(06:41):
And then I do see a lot, like Isaid, in sleep, digestive
issues, energy.
Even your cycle, your menstrualcycle, if you still have one is
going to show you that yourbody is burning out.
So that's one of the first.
The early signs that we forgetis how is our body working?
Because our mind will make upall kinds of things, but our
body will never lie to us.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, All right.
So yeah, that makes me wonderdo women just give up at that
point and, like you know, throwaway the marriage or throw away
the job or whatever, or arethere actual ways to come back
from?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
burnout.
Yeah, I think it's recognizingthat you have it and knowing
that it's okay and that there'snothing wrong with you and that
you know.
I think the hardest thing forwomen is knowing that they're
going to have to shift andchange how they show up, they're
going to have to ask for help,they're going to have to change
how much they're doing andthey're kind of afraid to let
(07:36):
things fall.
I find so when I'm dealing withpeople with burnout, they
usually have, you know, a prettysuccessful job or a passion
project, something they're doing.
They're taking care of,possibly kids or family members,
like they have a lot on theirplate and they are having a hard
time understanding like how canI get all this done still and
take care of myself?
And I do find that like there'sthe psychological correlation
(07:59):
between burnout and the womenthat I've worked at with is they
tend to lack boundaries, bepeople pleasers and high
achievers, and you might be justone of all three of those or
one of those.
I mean, at one point in my lifeI was all three, yeah, so it's
kind of like I can do this, Ishould do this, and they have a
hard time thinking like, well,who would I be if I didn't do
(08:20):
this, and then the guilt willset in Well, if I didn't take
care of everyone this way.
You know, it's like we almostfind our worth in our busyness
and our caring and all thosekinds of things, and so it takes
some deeper inner work tountangle that so that we can let
go of the guilt, so we can feellike we're still enough if
we're not overgiving, overdoingand what's called
(08:42):
over-functioning, which meansI'm just functioning at a high
level all the time and I'mtaking care of everyone mentally
, emotionally, physically andI'm not ever focused on myself.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
That makes sense.
Do you think that women alsohave trouble maybe prioritizing
and picking out what they canget rid of?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Oh, absolutely, because you know, I think we've
kind of it's been jokinglycalled like superwoman syndrome,
right, like we are expected,and I think the Barbie movie was
kind of cute, and talking aboutthis, when America Ferreira has
that speech that she givesabout you know, women are, you
can't be too much of this, likeyou can't be too skinny but you
can't be too overweight, youcan't be this, you can't be that
(09:21):
.
It's like we are just boxed inso tightly nowadays, like we're
not supposed to stay homebecause we're supposed to have a
career.
And then, if we have a career,well, we can't be too busy
because we have to take care ofour children or not, or our
family members or someone, orour husbands or whoever it is in
our life, our partners, andthen, like I think we just have
(09:43):
these expectations that arereally like through the roof and
we are trying to be everythingto everyone and we forget that
you can have it all but not atthe same time.
And I know from personalexperience so I have a ton of
childhood trauma and lifeexperiences have been very
difficult.
But when I was in my 30s and Iwas going like early, like 30,
(10:05):
31, I decided I was in humanresources.
I worked for a very largecompany.
I had about 27 direct reports.
I worked for a 7,000 personcompany.
I was going to graduate schoolon evenings and weekends.
I was doing what they call lowresidency program and I was also
having a coaching practice onthe weekends.
I was working 100 hours a week.
(10:28):
I was married at the time so Iwas trying to have time for my
relationship and I couldn't evenbelieve how, like I had every
hour of every day for about 12hours a week, 12 hours per day,
scheduled tight andunfortunately my body gave
before my mind did and it reallytook that breakdown physically
to have a breakthrough Like Ihad to have like a physical
(10:48):
diagnosis, what's calledAddison's disease.
It's when your adrenals, whichare the little glands on top of
the kidneys that actually pushout cortisol and adrenaline all
these hormones that give usenergy mine just quit working.
They just gave up.
They, they were, they tappedout.
Wow, it took me years to healthat and I really had to do the
(11:10):
inner work to change how Iviewed myself, how I viewed
productivity, how I viewedachievement, how I viewed taking
care of other people, like allof that kind of stuff, to really
heal that burnout.
And I also had to grieve thatversion of myself who could work
like that, because you knowthat that high-performing,
perfectionist type a girl hadhad to go because she was going
to literally kill me.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
It's like if she did.
Oh no, so how did you heal?
I mean, I know you said youkind of changed your mindset and
what you were thinking, but howdid you do that?
Speaker 1 (11:42):
yeah so.
So I always, I always had itreally simple for people.
It's I call it the ABCs ofhealing.
So, a we want to have theawareness Okay, something's not
working, like I'm not happy, I'mnot feeling good, and that's
okay, and I need to know and Ineed to make shift.
And it doesn't have to be tooscary, and I always pray people
can not let it be too painfulbefore they make that shift,
(12:04):
because that's another thingthat we do with women.
It's like the pain and thepressure has to be so big that
we actually do something aboutit.
And that was definitely me.
I'm hardheaded.
And then B is like what are thebeliefs that I have about myself
and about life?
So that might be writing on apiece of paper.
Like what do I think isexpected of me?
What am I supposed to be doing?
Like, what should I be doing inlife?
(12:26):
And it's kind of a joke.
I trained with Louise Hay manyyears ago but she used to say
you can should all over yourself.
So what are those shoulds youhave in your life?
Like do I believe that in orderto be a good whatever mom,
sister, brother, worker,colleague I have to be all these
things?
And then start to question that.
And then the C is.
(12:48):
Now I can start clearing thatand calming that from my nervous
system, because it's not justin the mind, it's also in the
body.
It's just like we have avisceral reaction to things we
might have trauma.
You know all people pleasingcomes from a childhood that we
had to people please in order tothings.
We might have trauma.
You know all people pleasingcomes from a childhood that we
had to people please in order tosurvive.
And it comes from love and it'snot a bad thing.
(13:09):
It's just that those oldpatterns of being will not get
us where we want to go.
I always say you know, what gotyou here won't get you there and
that, like the way that I waswired was very like high
achieving and you know that camefrom a lot of like.
I wanted recognition, I wantedto feel good, I wanted all the
(13:31):
kinds of love and things that Ididn't get growing up.
So I got it from achievementright.
That was like the first timepeople had been like, wow,
you're amazing, look, how do youdo all this stuff, look at how
far you've come.
You're only 30 and you've madeit here.
And I was like, oh, and I justate it up.
But I didn't recognize thatthat wasn't going to actually
fill the void that was in myheart.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Not only not fill the void, but once they've said
that you feel like you have tolive up to that jokingly call
destination addiction.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Like we found this place that feels really good and
we keep thinking, oh, if I getthe next thing or the next
promotion or I do the nextbetter thing, I'll feel even
better.
But we just wear ourselves downeven more.
So it's really like doing thatinternal check to say like, who
am I?
What do I really want?
And I love the question.
I only had six months to liveand I was going to be healthy,
(14:26):
but I knew I was going to leave.
What would you be doing?
Would your life look the same?
Because one thing mygrandfather said to me right
before he passed was thatbecause he knew gosh, I was like
20 at the time and he alreadysaw how type A achiever I was.
And he said, tori, when you died, you're never going to wish you
worked more, because he hadcancer and he was dying and he
(14:46):
was a hard worker and he wantedto point that out to me and it
took me many years to actuallyintegrate that stuff, but it
always stuck with me.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
I got chills, though that's so important and so nice
that he shared that with you.
He definitely was concerned.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Yeah, there's a great book called the Five Regrets of
the Dying.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
Oh, okay, definitely was concerned.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, there's a great book called the Five Regrets of
the Dying.
I think her name was Bonnie orBronnie Ware, but anyway, she
was a hospice nurse who sat withthousands of people who were
passing and she started torecord their stories, because
everyone wants to know thattheir life matters, of course.
And in writing all of theirstories and recording them, she
started to find that there wasthemes to everyone's story and
(15:28):
so she wrote a beautiful bookand I thought I read that,
luckily when I was like 33.
And then I've had a lot of loss, like I've lost my sister, my
mom, my dad, my grandparents, mylike most, I'm the oldest
living person in my immediatefamily, so I've experienced tons
of loss.
But what I really learned aboutfrom that book and my own loss
is that it teaches you how tolive, and so that's where I
(15:50):
really get with women on likeburnout and taking care of
themselves and like aligningtheir life to their truth is
like life is short, it's goingto pass you by so quickly and
you don't want to look back withregret.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Oh, definitely not.
So what about partners andfamily and friends?
How can they support someonethat's going through that
burnout?
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Yeah, I mean it's good if we can communicate to
them and ask for the support andeven tell them, if you are a
partner and you see it, it'skind of bringing it up to that
person with love and say like,hey, I see you're doing a lot, I
see it taking an effect on yourhealth, or you know, I'm really
concerned, I'm here for you,can I help you?
So if you are that partner orthat family member, you can
(16:32):
definitely try to have a lovingconversation and just bring it
up, but with a lot of caution,because they may not be ready to
face it.
And so it's the hardest thingon the planet is to know that we
can't fix anyone but ourselves.
Yeah, and that is kind of whereI think women also fail, and
myself too.
You know, both my parents hadaddiction problems and my sister
(16:54):
did as well, and so I tried tohelp and save them.
And so I don't say that fromsomeone who hasn't tried to do
it herself and failed andlearned the lesson the hard way.
Everything I share, even thoughI do have multiple degrees in
psychology and all kinds oftraining, I've walked the fire
of everything I speak about.
I've been through death anddivorce and I've pretty much
(17:15):
lost everything in life, from mymoney to my health, to my
marriage, to my house, like youname it.
I've had to give it up andrebuild myself.
So I guess when I share, thesestories.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I always like people to know that you seem so
together and you obviously arevery intelligent.
How do you deal with all ofthat in your history and
actually heal and move on?
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Yeah, it's not, it's no easy feat and I will say that
you know, I've definitely hadtimes in my life where I'm like,
if this is what life is, Idon't know if I can keep going.
It was definitely times where Iwas like, okay, universe, if
this is it, I'm ready to go home, I'm good.
But that kind of grief thatlike cracks your soul open, and
(17:57):
it can happen from lots ofthings.
You know, I've had moredifficult that I always remind
my clients, like you know, justa divorce on its own can bring
that for us.
Just a child who's ill canbring that level of pain for us.
Just, you know, losing a parentcan bring that level of pain.
And so, yeah, I've walkedthrough a lot of those things
and it's really comes down tothe, really the basic tools of
(18:18):
taking care of ourselves, whichnone of us want to do.
And it is like particularly Iknow your audience is more
neurodivergent, but I think inwomen in general like we really
have to have structure in ourlives.
We have to have self-care andthat is not bubble baths and
manicures, that is boundaries,and eating well and moving our
bodies and learning to say noand mindfulness, meditation.
(18:41):
You know these kinds of thingsliterally saved my life If I had
not had these processes andthese, because you know, I'm a
yoga and meditation teacher.
I've been practicing, I've beenstudying psychology for 26
years now, so I had a lot of thetools to help me get through
that.
But I will always say start withyour body, because your nervous
system is what the body keepsthe score your nervous system,
(19:03):
your sensitivity, all that stuff.
So we've got to bring in thosecalming practices.
So take deep breaths, takewalks in nature, take a yoga
class.
You know I would like to startwith what's free because I want
it to be available to everyone.
But doing that breath where youdraw in your breath for five or
six, hold for six and then outfor eight, like that, will start
(19:24):
calming your autonomic nervoussystem.
Yoga has been proven, and goodyoga too.
I would like make sure thatpeople know that you should feel
really calm when you leave yoga.
It shouldn't be like weightsand techno music and should be
really focused on the breath.
And there's a famous book calledthe Body Keeps the Score where
they talk about trauma andhealing trauma.
(19:44):
It's a really deep book, soI'll give you the cliff notes.
But basically, when we havechronic stress or trauma in our
lives, our nervous system, ourbody really hold on to that.
That's why we can think of theclassic PTSD maybe person who
went to war, and they come homeand they've done years of talk
therapy but when they hearfireworks or they hear a car
(20:06):
backfire, their body drops tothe ground and it's because
their nervous system has encodedhow to stay safe and so we
forget that our bodies do thattoo.
So even if we grew up with,maybe, a really critical mother
and we learned to protectourselves from that, now we've
got a critical partner or bossand that's starting to eat away
at ourselves every single day.
(20:27):
Or we've had this loss that youknow, that's.
Our biggest fear was losing ourmother, and now we did.
So it's really getting to thosecalming practices in the body of
grounding yourself.
So it can be breath, it can bemeditation, it can be yoga, it
can be nature, it can be EFT,tapping emotional freedom
technique, which you can findhow to do online.
(20:48):
You know there's tons of videosof how to do it for free, but
it's something I practice, I'mtrained in.
I also do something calledenergy psychology, emdr, which
is eye movement, rapiddesensitization, which also
helps us process trauma.
So, starting with the body, thenmoving into the mind, and the
mind is really how do I learnemotional regulation?
(21:09):
How do I look at my beliefs, mythoughts, my feelings?
Am I stuck in rumination?
Am I stuck in negative loops?
Can I use mantra?
Can I use affirmation, anything, to start bringing myself like
one level up?
If I'm, you know, I've been invery deep levels of grief before
and I used to spend just like ahalf hour a day making sure I
(21:30):
felt that all.
And then I would remind myselflike, even though, like I
remember, when my mom died and Iwas building my business at
that time, it was like such astressful, my sister had
overdosed, my mom died and likewithin a 13 month period, and I
was also.
I had just started my business.
So it was like I would justremember, like okay, I'm gonna
feel as much as I can, becauseif you can't feel it, you can't
(21:51):
heal it.
And then I'm going to remindmyself, even though all this has
happened, I'm okay, I'm stillstanding, I can still take one
step forward, and so how youtalk to yourself is another big
one.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
You know, speaking of you were talking about divorces
earlier.
I've noticed that a lot oftimes and I wondered if you'd
noticed this too.
Noticed that a lot of times andI wondered if you'd noticed
this too.
When women start to I don'tknow evolve, when they start to
really feel like I got to takecare of myself and I'm going to
set boundaries, and they startdoing things they've never done
before.
Have you seen how that affectsthe marriage?
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Absolutely.
When one person grows and theother person does not, there's
almost like an energeticimbalance.
It's like and this happened inmy own relationship he's a great
guy.
We're still friends, we really,you know, we mediated our
divorce.
It wasn't anything difficult.
It's just like I had reallyworked on growing myself for
years and I had changed andevolved and what I needed
evolved and he just could notmatch that anymore and so it
(22:49):
started to create a lot offriction.
And losing him in my life wasvery difficult, because I'd been
with him since I was very young.
I mean, you know, I met himlike 21, 22.
He'd been one of the few peopleI've been in my life
consistently for a really longtime.
So I but I see this a lot inwomen Like when we start
evolving and changing andadvocating for our needs and
(23:10):
setting boundaries, a lot oftimes our partner is not super
happy about that and we're notexactly the person that they
fell in love with, and then that, vice versa, our partner is no
longer the person that we fellin love with.
So I kind of say that thecouples that can grow together
and evolve together and chooseto fall in love with the new
versions of each other over andover again are typically the
(23:31):
ones who can make it, the oneswho can have the hard
conversations, the ones who cansay like hey, we've grown apart.
You know what can we do to comeback together?
Speaker 2 (23:40):
I like that because I think if you involve your
partner in things like therapy,you know, or going to learn a
new style of yoga, or whateveryou're doing, if you involve
them and they move with you thatseems much easier to keep that
relationship together.
I totally get that.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Yeah, you're a thousand percent right and you
know, sometimes they get alittle stubborn.
You know, here I am doing whatI do and my ex, you know, great
guy, but like he didn't want togo to therapy.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
I'd asked him for over 11 years, oh wow.
Yeah, he was set.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
Yeah, he was good and you know, of course people do
what they're going to do whenthey're ready to do it and but
you know, it just wasn't, itwasn't something he was into at
the time and that didn't allowus to come back together.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Yeah, now you work with women on a regular basis.
You're a coach.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Yes, I work as a coach because in the state of
California to work as atherapist you are under a
license and it's a differentprocess and I can't work with
anyone outside of my state and Iactually have an international
practice.
So I work with people acrossthe United States, in London and
Dubai and a couple of places inEurope.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
Okay, how do you actually work with them?
Is it all on Zoom or?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
It is.
It's all on Zoom now.
I do travel to those places tosee my clients in person, just
to like meet them, and you knowI'll be going to London next
month to see people and do someworkshops there.
But, yeah, I've been doing thiswork online since 2018.
I got very lucky.
My intuition said it was timeto build my business more
(25:17):
internationally and more freelyso that I could work from
anywhere in the world.
I got tired of driving aroundLA.
It was stressing me out, so Iwas like, okay, I've got to make
a tough choice.
So I had actually switched toZoom by late 2018.
So by the time the pandemiccame around, I'd already been
working this way for a long time, and so I do.
(25:38):
Wow, that's great.
Yeah, I do the work that I do,you know, mind, body and soul,
but I do that via Zoom primarily.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Okay, Well, I've really enjoyed this and I've
learned so much.
Is there something that you'dwant to leave our listeners with
something they can hang on toif they're going through burnout
or having a tough time?
Speaker 1 (25:57):
Yeah, just know that it won't last forever and that
it's very unlikely that we cando it alone.
So to really employ someassistance anybody a partner, a
best friend, anyone who canreally help you, a therapist or
a coach, just someone who canhelp guide you out of your own
way because that's what we alldo we can't see the picture when
(26:20):
we're in the frame, but I trulybelieve and I have seen that we
are all resilient, we canreally heal anything and you can
come out of that phase.
So I've been in some of thedarkest things humans can
experience and I've walked outof them.
So I always just hope that mystory inspires people to know
that for sure.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Well, it definitely is inspiring, and I love that
you're giving people hope andsomething to hold on to, because
we all need that.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
That is for sure.
Hope is the antithesis to allthe things that we experience
every day as humans, becauselife isn't always easy.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Right, sure isn't All right.
Well, thanks so much for comingtoday.
Thank you so much for having me.
If that didn't hit straight inthe soul, I don't know what
would Corey brought the kind ofwisdom that only comes from
walking through the fire andchoosing to rise anyway.
Burnout isn't a flaw, it's aflashing red light, and healing
(27:14):
starts when we stop trying tocarry everything alone and start
honoring what we need.
If you want more of Corrie'sinsight and trust me, you do
head to wwwcorriejanaycom.
That's wwwcorrijanecom, that'sW-W-W dot T-O-R-I-J-E-N-A-E dot
(27:35):
com, or follow her on Instagramat Tori Janae.
She's the real deal, and ifyou're feeling inspired to
reclaim your power, rest yournervous system or finally put
yourself on your own damnpriority list stick around, hit
subscribe.
We're not done here.
Keep breathing and keepadvancing, warrior.
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